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1
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:05,697
- That is humorous, yes.
- Very humorous, yes.
2
00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:08,333
- Quite jocular, yes.
- Droll, very droll, yes.
3
00:00:08,334 --> 00:00:10,601
Whimsical, yes, yes.
Quite absurd, yes.
4
00:00:10,602 --> 00:00:11,670
Quite whimsical, yes.
5
00:00:11,771 --> 00:00:13,639
Priceless wit
of a satirical bent, yes.
6
00:00:32,291 --> 00:00:34,692
Behold,
oh dim-witted humans.
7
00:00:34,693 --> 00:00:36,761
I am Smart Butt-Head.
8
00:00:36,762 --> 00:00:40,632
And I am the one sages
call Smart Beavis.
9
00:00:40,633 --> 00:00:42,434
In the past,
we have come to you
10
00:00:42,435 --> 00:00:44,135
to chronicle
the mysterious events
11
00:00:44,136 --> 00:00:46,471
of a distant universe where
Beavis and Butt-Head
12
00:00:46,472 --> 00:00:49,374
are not teenagers,
but in middle age.
13
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,476
At the height
of their powers.
14
00:00:51,477 --> 00:00:54,412
But today, we bring
you a different tale,
15
00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:56,515
a tale about ourselves.
16
00:00:56,516 --> 00:00:58,517
The legend
of how we came to be known
17
00:00:58,617 --> 00:01:00,818
across the cosmos as...
18
00:01:00,819 --> 00:01:03,187
The Discoverers.
19
00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:17,535
Our legend begins the day
20
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:21,440
we were called before
the Supreme Leaders.
21
00:01:25,578 --> 00:01:28,780
Smart Beavis
and Smart Butt-Head,
22
00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:31,016
we have for you
an important mission.
23
00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:35,520
The Smart Council has decided
to invade Earth I,
24
00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:37,588
the planet
they call Normal Earth.
25
00:01:37,589 --> 00:01:39,157
The humans who live there
26
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:41,859
are too stupid
to have their own planet.
27
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,529
And so they must
be terminated.
28
00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,731
Mm-kay?
29
00:01:45,732 --> 00:01:47,699
Your Mission
is to go to Earth I
30
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,434
and place
a navigational beacon
31
00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:52,604
to show our space fleet
precisely where to attack.
32
00:01:52,704 --> 00:01:54,472
Ah, yes, you chose us
33
00:01:54,473 --> 00:01:57,309
because of our deep
understanding of Normal Earth.
34
00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:59,278
And wisdom in the art of war.
35
00:01:59,378 --> 00:02:03,148
No, we chose you because
you will probably die.
36
00:02:03,149 --> 00:02:06,551
You were the most expendable
people we could think of.
37
00:02:06,552 --> 00:02:09,587
And we are extremely good
at thinking.
38
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,422
Quite right, Smart Todd.
39
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:15,294
Now go.
May science be with you.
40
00:02:17,663 --> 00:02:20,598
Very well.
We shall go to Normal Earth.
41
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,734
And we shall be its doom.
42
00:02:22,735 --> 00:02:24,970
Indeed. Doom.
43
00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:27,538
- Yes, yes. Quite jocular.
- Chucklesome, yes, yes.
44
00:02:27,539 --> 00:02:29,141
- Amusing jocosity.
- Yes, yes.
45
00:02:29,241 --> 00:02:31,276
Waggish and farcical as well, yes.
46
00:02:32,712 --> 00:02:35,046
♪ Yeah,
we want to go insane ♪
47
00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:40,651
Interesting,
quite interesting, yes.
48
00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:42,954
Yes, yes. Very interesting.
49
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,923
♪ Take your bitch,
give her back, insane ♪
50
00:02:45,924 --> 00:02:47,926
♪ Sent her packing,
she was actin' crazy ♪
51
00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:50,661
People less sophisticated
than ourselves might assume
52
00:02:50,662 --> 00:02:53,865
that this is a man stumbling
around intoxicated in his yard
53
00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:55,634
and should be handed over
to the authorities.
54
00:02:55,635 --> 00:02:57,602
Yes, but we know better.
55
00:02:57,603 --> 00:03:00,605
These are sophisticated
dance moves with great meaning.
56
00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:02,974
Yes, it will take our
scientists many centuries
57
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,710
to interpret what he is saying
through the language of dance.
58
00:03:05,711 --> 00:03:07,012
Yes, yes.
59
00:03:07,112 --> 00:03:09,447
The probability of him
urinating in his own pants
60
00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:10,515
is zero.
61
00:03:10,516 --> 00:03:12,017
I need it cash, cake ♪
62
00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:14,486
Did you catch that,
Smart Butt-Head?
63
00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:17,323
He is expressing his earthly
desire for fornication
64
00:03:17,423 --> 00:03:18,823
and a carton of smokes.
65
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,592
Ah, yes.
Yes, indeed.
66
00:03:20,593 --> 00:03:21,827
♪ But it's different ♪
67
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:23,328
Oh, look at this.
68
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,629
He is paying tribute
to the God of fertility.
69
00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,666
Yes, yes, by placing his hand
near his Earth penis,
70
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,868
I believe this is how
they pledge of allegiance.
71
00:03:30,869 --> 00:03:32,204
Yes, yes.
72
00:03:32,304 --> 00:03:34,673
The Earth penis is a
much less intelligent organ
73
00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,040
than our space penis.
74
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,009
Yes, yes.
75
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:39,944
Primitive 16-bit Earth penis,
yes, yes.
76
00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:41,712
♪ Completely ♪
77
00:03:41,713 --> 00:03:44,148
I do not understand what
he appears to be doing now.
78
00:03:44,149 --> 00:03:46,351
What is the meaning of this,
Smart Butt-Head?
79
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,153
He is performing
the ancient moves
80
00:03:48,154 --> 00:03:51,223
necessary before immersion
in the basin of purification.
81
00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:52,724
Ah, yes, indeed, yes.
82
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:54,759
I believe you are correct,
Smart Butt-Head, yes.
83
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,596
Humans must reach
the exalted state they call
84
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,566
krunk before immersion
into the pool of infinity.
85
00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:01,934
Yes, yes, that pool,
86
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,769
like the wisdom
of Post Malone, is infinite.
87
00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,238
♪ Second verse,
second verse, yay ♪
88
00:04:07,239 --> 00:04:08,340
♪ Second verse ♪
89
00:04:08,341 --> 00:04:10,741
This is very good,
Smart Butt-Head.
90
00:04:10,742 --> 00:04:12,410
Yes, yes. Very good.
91
00:04:12,411 --> 00:04:14,612
I do not understand why
it was not nominated
92
00:04:14,613 --> 00:04:16,047
for the Space Oscars.
93
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,983
Ah, yes.
Yes, it is a travesty.
94
00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:21,753
Post Malone has become
quite wealthy doing this.
95
00:04:21,754 --> 00:04:24,222
Yes, yes, it is no wonder
that the Earthlings
96
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,991
have made him their king.
97
00:04:25,992 --> 00:04:27,526
♪ To try to teach me
how to dance ♪
98
00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,928
What do those words
on his face mean?
99
00:04:29,929 --> 00:04:32,063
They mean one thing,
Smart Beavis.
100
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:35,566
Kidnap me and probe my anus.
- Yes, yes.
101
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,902
Perhaps we should lure him
into our spacecraft
102
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,738
with a 40-ouncer
and a pack of cigarettes
103
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,907
and take him
to our home planet for study.
104
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,109
Yes, yes.
105
00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:46,944
40 ounces is the optimal
volume for malt liquor.
106
00:04:46,945 --> 00:04:49,947
32-ounce does not get
you messed up sufficiently.
107
00:04:49,948 --> 00:04:52,150
And 52 ounces
is too heavy to hold.
108
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,787
Yes, yes. Do you think
he would mind being probed?
109
00:04:55,788 --> 00:04:58,123
I do not think
he would mind or notice.
110
00:04:58,223 --> 00:04:59,125
Yes, yes.
111
00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:14,473
Look upon these
foolish humans,
112
00:05:14,573 --> 00:05:17,141
unaware their destruction
is nigh.
113
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:20,846
Let us place the beacon here
in this temple of commerce.
114
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,950
How primitive.
- Yes.
115
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,120
The convenience stores on our
world are far more advanced.
116
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,623
Yes, yes,
very primitive, yes.
117
00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:34,460
It appears to be
an obsolete form of nachos.
118
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,462
Yes, quite archaic, yes.
119
00:05:36,562 --> 00:05:38,397
Where is the space cheese?
120
00:05:38,398 --> 00:05:40,165
And look at this.
121
00:05:40,265 --> 00:05:42,500
Primitive analog pornography.
122
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:43,768
Fascinating.
123
00:05:43,769 --> 00:05:45,771
We must take it
for our research.
124
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,708
Now, let us place the beacon
125
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,877
to guide our space fleet
to its prey.
126
00:05:51,878 --> 00:05:54,712
But where shall we place it,
Smart Beavis?
127
00:05:54,713 --> 00:05:58,216
Ah, these days, you got
to take out a mortgage
128
00:05:58,217 --> 00:06:02,220
just to buy some cold ones,
I tell you what.
129
00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,322
Let us put the beacon
in this chamber.
130
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,691
It should suffice.
131
00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:08,493
Yes, yes.
A felicitous location, yes.
132
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:10,229
Well, hold on there, boys.
133
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,230
You can't just take
those magazines
134
00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:15,366
and go whack off
in the bathroom.
135
00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:17,035
I do not understand.
136
00:06:17,036 --> 00:06:18,537
What do these words mean?
137
00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:20,571
"Whack off"?
138
00:06:20,572 --> 00:06:24,175
You know,
choking the chicken.
139
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:27,078
Beating your meat.
140
00:06:27,079 --> 00:06:29,882
Spanking your monkey.
141
00:06:29,982 --> 00:06:33,151
Son, I'm talking
about masturbating.
142
00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:34,520
We have never heard of it.
143
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:37,390
What is masturbating?
144
00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:39,824
You really don't know?
145
00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:41,693
Oh, boy.
146
00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:45,531
Well, all right, I guess
I'll explain it to you then.
147
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:48,033
You see, sometimes a man--
148
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,471
And that's pretty much
the long and short of it.
149
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:54,606
Fascinating.
150
00:06:54,607 --> 00:06:56,608
Your own schlong?
151
00:06:56,609 --> 00:06:58,243
Quite fascinating, indeed.
152
00:06:58,244 --> 00:07:01,078
We must try this immediately
for research.
153
00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:02,114
Indeed.
154
00:07:02,215 --> 00:07:04,083
We shall return
immediately afterwards
155
00:07:04,183 --> 00:07:05,784
and place the beacon.
156
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,063
The research was a success.
157
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,165
Indeed.
158
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,432
The old man's analysis
159
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,668
of spanking your monkey
was correct.
160
00:07:23,669 --> 00:07:25,137
Quite accurate, yes.
161
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,571
Let us go now
and place the beacon.
162
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,642
First, we should conduct
the research one more time.
163
00:07:30,643 --> 00:07:31,843
Very well.
164
00:07:36,516 --> 00:07:37,949
Research complete.
165
00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:39,918
Let us place the beacon.
166
00:07:40,018 --> 00:07:43,188
Or we conduct the research
one more time.
167
00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:44,756
Yes, yes, I agree.
168
00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:47,426
One more time, yes.
We must be thorough, yes.
169
00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:01,007
My schlong hurts.
170
00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:02,340
As does mine.
171
00:08:02,341 --> 00:08:04,175
It is finally time
to cease our research
172
00:08:04,176 --> 00:08:05,643
and plant the beacon.
173
00:08:05,644 --> 00:08:06,878
Agreed.
174
00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:09,081
But first, one more time.
175
00:08:16,488 --> 00:08:19,491
Set course for
the navigation beacon.
176
00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:21,393
I'm not detecting it, sir.
177
00:08:21,394 --> 00:08:22,861
That's not possible.
178
00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:25,864
We sent a team
to plant it a week ago.
179
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,899
It was never turned on, sir.
180
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,834
We have zero navigational data.
181
00:08:29,835 --> 00:08:31,168
No matter.
182
00:08:31,169 --> 00:08:35,339
I became Smart Admiral because
I am expert in navigating
183
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,408
without--
184
00:08:51,424 --> 00:08:53,825
Smart Beavis
and Smart Butt-Head,
185
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:56,027
you failed
to place the beacon.
186
00:08:56,028 --> 00:08:57,230
As a result,
187
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,698
our invasion fleet
crashed into the moon,
188
00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:01,699
destroying over 40 ships
189
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,202
and putting
Admiral Smart Van Driessen
190
00:09:04,203 --> 00:09:06,371
in the space emergency room.
191
00:09:06,372 --> 00:09:10,042
You have disappointed
us for the last time, mm-kay?
192
00:09:10,142 --> 00:09:14,579
You have anything to say
before we pass sentence?
193
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,614
In our defense,
Supreme Leaders,
194
00:09:16,615 --> 00:09:18,316
we have discovered something.
195
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:19,851
Indeed, we did.
196
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:24,389
Something unknown to our planet
called spanking your monkey.
197
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,658
I will beam you how it works.
198
00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,563
Very well.
199
00:09:30,663 --> 00:09:33,931
We will consider this
spanking your monkey
200
00:09:33,932 --> 00:09:36,835
and return with our verdict.
201
00:09:57,356 --> 00:10:00,691
We will now vote
on your sentence.
202
00:10:00,692 --> 00:10:01,726
Death.
203
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,828
Give them a billion dollars.
204
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:05,531
Throw them a parade.
205
00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,566
Give them $2 billion.
206
00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,734
Rename the planet
in their honor.
207
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:13,571
Sing songs of their triumph
at every public gathering.
208
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:17,076
Let us consider the evidence
one more time.
209
00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:20,413
Yes.
- Agreed.
210
00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:23,049
You've got to be kidding me.
211
00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:32,524
I only wish more people
had come to our parade.
212
00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:36,027
They are all at home
spanking their monkeys.
213
00:10:36,028 --> 00:10:38,564
Thanks to what we learned
from that old man,
214
00:10:38,664 --> 00:10:41,866
Earth 327-Z would never
be the same again.
215
00:10:47,073 --> 00:10:49,607
And that is why
we are known as...
216
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,344
The Discoverers.
217
00:11:27,079 --> 00:11:28,146
Chirp.
16313
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