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1
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♪ MTV ♪
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This line sucks.
3
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Yeah, yeah, it sucks.
4
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But the doctor says I need
medicine for my arthritis
5
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,934
and the cholesterol
6
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:38,038
and now, he says I have
diabetes for some reason.
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Doctors don't know everything.
8
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No, sir.
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Remember when every time
you ate a lot of sugar,
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you'd go crazy?
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Did I?
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I don't remember.
- Yeah.
13
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You'd, like, run around and
pull your shirt over your head.
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My shirt over my head?
15
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,464
No.
No, it doesn't ring a bell.
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00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,131
Yeah.
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00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:09,269
And then you'd, like, scream
stuff about your bunghole.
18
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My bunghole? No.
19
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Are you sure you're not
thinking of Stewart?
20
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You know, the blond kid?
21
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,782
Uh, yeah,
maybe it was Stewart.
22
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He's a wuss.
23
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Well, whoever it was,
that was a long time ago.
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Those days are over.
25
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Next.
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Uh, my name's Beavis.
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Can I have your prescription?
28
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,465
Uh, no.
29
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,969
All I have is this piece
of paper from the doctor.
30
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,938
This is from
the unemployment office.
31
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:45,973
Well, that's what I got.
32
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:48,074
Wait, are you gonna
give me a job?
33
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,109
No.
34
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Oh. Oh, good, yeah.
35
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Yeah, that was close.
36
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:56,283
I can look you up
in the computer, Mr. Beavis.
37
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,951
Looks like
you have prescriptions
38
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for diabetes, arthritis,
high cholesterol,
39
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,521
and prostatitis.
40
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,057
What's that one?
41
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:06,325
Do you wake up in the middle
of the night a lot to urinate?
42
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,360
No.
43
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Most nights,
only like 15 or 20 times.
44
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,099
Let me get these for you.
45
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Yeah, you're gonna need
a prior authorization.
46
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,703
Well, how do I get one?
47
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,671
You'll have to call
your insurance company, sir.
48
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Ugh.
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00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:22,008
You gotta do everything
yourself in this place.
50
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Oh, you do?
51
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Yeah, you do.
Never coming here again.
52
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Oh, OK, yeah.
53
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,482
So, um, do I have to get
my medicine myself, then?
54
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,383
Uh, I guess so.
55
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:34,420
I think it's, like, self-serve.
56
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OK, then.
57
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Let's see.
Where to begin?
58
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I'm gonna try one of these.
59
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,232
Huh. Well, pretty good.
60
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,734
How about some of these?
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00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,038
Couple of these.
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00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,840
Wash them
down with some syrup.
63
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,612
Whoa, these taste strong.
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00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,548
Whoa, I feel young again.
65
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:11,424
Come on! Come on!
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More!
More, more!
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00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,416
I am Cornholio!
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I need TP for my bunghole.
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♪ I'm not afraid
of getting older ♪
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♪ One less day ♪
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This one of those videos
where they show everyone
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00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,666
who died during the year?
73
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:58,370
Uh, oh, yeah.
I think it is.
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00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:01,808
It's like one of
those in memorba--
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00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,443
memoratorium.
76
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:08,948
So all these people died
this year, huh?
77
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,651
Well, I thought
that guy died years ago.
78
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,485
Wow.
79
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,788
Uh, he might as well have.
80
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,823
He kind of looks
like that room mom,
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00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,425
you know, in kindergarten
that used to give, like,
82
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,428
juice boxes to everybody.
83
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:26,333
He drives a Subaru.
84
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,502
How come there's all
this fire around them?
85
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:33,339
I think that means that all
these people went to hell.
86
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:36,976
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, good for them, yeah.
87
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:40,814
You know, I've heard good
things about hell, you know?
88
00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:41,814
Yeah.
89
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:45,485
I've heard
they have fornication.
90
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:48,322
Yeah, a-a-and fire too. Yeah.
91
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,157
Fornication and fire.
92
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:54,627
Yeah, yeah, it's like
a Benihana's down there.
93
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,831
You know, Butt-Head, um--
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00:04:57,932 --> 00:05:00,299
I'm always afraid
I'll see one of these
95
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,836
and then I'll see myself
and that's how I'll find out.
96
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:06,372
And I'll be like,
wait a second,
97
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,841
I must have died this year.
98
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,209
Don't worry, Beavis.
99
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,878
You'll never
be in one of these.
100
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,781
No one will notice
when you've died.
101
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:15,916
Shut up, Butt-Head.
102
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,585
Come on.
103
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:22,889
You could be dead right now
and I would not know or care.
104
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,757
Shut up, Butt-Head.
105
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,693
You're freaking me out.
Come on.
106
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,562
I'd just
step right over you.
107
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,898
Shut up, Butt-Head.
108
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,933
You'll be in the
section of the show
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called "Good Riddance."
110
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,873
Oh, yeah.
111
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,342
And now, a look at
the people we lost this year
112
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,745
who sucked.
113
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,550
Sir, you can't be back here.
114
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:51,885
Are you threatening me?
115
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:55,889
No, but this area
is for pharmacy staff only.
116
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I need pharmacy
for my bunghole!
117
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,493
And my prostatitis.
Yeah.
118
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:04,364
You will give me
all your diabetes!
119
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,536
Would you like
to see my cholesterol?
120
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,473
My cholesterol is
in my bunghole!
121
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,276
Yes, we have
an older gentleman here
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00:06:16,277 --> 00:06:18,077
who took a lot
of geriatric medications.
123
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,480
My bunghole
demands arthritis!
124
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,282
You will give me
all your arthritis now!
125
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:26,453
You'd better send the police
right away.
126
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,322
I have no co-pay
for my bunghole.
127
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,791
You must
give me your co-pay.
128
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:35,962
Side effects
may include my bunghole.
129
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:38,264
My bunghole is old.
130
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,466
I am Oldholio.
131
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I must take
a load off my bunghole.
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00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,239
My bunghole shall nap.
133
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,642
It shall rest now.
134
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For it is weary.
135
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My bunghole.
136
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:58,651
Cornholio.
137
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,390
Bunghole.
138
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,060
Prior authorization
for my bunghole!
139
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,204
I demand pharmaceuticals
for my bunghole!
140
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,707
Do you have a co-pay?
141
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,510
I demand
to see your co-pay!
142
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:29,249
Get out the scooter.
You're under arrest.
143
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:32,185
I have a prescription
in my bunghole.
144
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,487
This is your last warning.
145
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,922
Are you threatening me?
146
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,224
Yes, I am.
147
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,360
You will not
threaten the almighty
148
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:42,495
Oldhol--
149
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,399
You will not
threaten my bunghole!
150
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,934
No!
151
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:51,503
It is my bunghole!
152
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:54,340
He just took 50,000 volts
like it was nothing.
153
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,175
He took so many pills,
he must be
154
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,844
completely impervious to pain.
155
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,013
The way those drugs
are interacting,
156
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,914
he could be capable
of anything.
157
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:05,284
You must bow down to
the flames of my bunghole!
158
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,361
My bungholio is an inferno!
159
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:19,133
Additional units on standby.
56223.
160
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,101
Suspect is wanted
for felony theft
161
00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:24,237
of prescription drugs,
reckless driving,
162
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,905
first-degree arson.
163
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,074
And one time, I caught him
spanking his monkey
164
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,909
to a cartoon about a train.
165
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,780
Get him.
166
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,550
Something's coming.
167
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:41,821
Give me all your
pharmaceuticals!
168
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:45,624
You must give me Lipitor
for my bunghole!
169
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,394
Oh, my God.
170
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:51,431
I am the great Oldholio.
171
00:08:51,432 --> 00:08:53,933
I have no bunghole.
172
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,070
What could possibly
cause a man to do this?
173
00:08:57,071 --> 00:09:00,406
Well, I think it's
'cause he never scored.
174
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:04,645
I demand TP!
You must give me all your TP!
175
00:09:07,148 --> 00:09:08,314
What's he saying?
176
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,684
You will not disrespect
my prostatitis!
177
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,787
For I have prostatitis
in my bunghole.
178
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,656
Prostatitis?
179
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,924
Doctor said I got that too.
180
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,660
I must have prescriptions
for my bunghole.
181
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,897
Do you need prescriptions
for your bunghole?
182
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,799
Yes, I do.
183
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,100
Me too, Chief.
184
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,702
Me too.
185
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,005
Titicaca.
186
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,174
Let him go.
187
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,143
I'll pay for the medicine
he stole.
188
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,511
- But Chief!
- If it weren't
189
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:41,648
for the grace of God,
that could be me out there.
190
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,183
That could be me.
191
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:48,522
You can take my bunghole
with or without food.
192
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:52,359
My bunghole is en fuego.
193
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,361
He's going straight to hell
anyways.
194
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,264
Ask your doctor if your
bunghole is right for you.
13431
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