Original subtitles

What happened to the dead bird

that was in the street?

Uh, I think it, like, flew away or something.

Excuse me. I'm trying to find my Airbnb.

Uh, what?

I booked this place to stay tonight,

and I can't find it. I'm looking for my Airbnb.

Excuse me, ma'am.

She means us.

We're B&B.

- We are? - Yeah, dumbass.

I'm Butt-Head, and you're a butthole.

Whoa.

Letters are cool, yeah.

Uh, if you're looking for B&B,

you've come to the right place, baby.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

We're the B&B. Yeah.

Oh, thank God.

I drove all the way from Phoenix.

So I guess I'm staying here tonight.

Wow.

I can't believe it, Butt-Head.

She drove all the way from Phoenix looking for us.

And she wants to stay here tonight with B&B?

She wants to score with both of us.

I'm just gonna bring my suitcase in the house.

Yeah. That's cool.

Man, this is the luckiest thing that ever happened

to us, Butt-Head. - It's not luck, Beavis.

We believed in ourselves, and it paid off.

We put that out in the universe.

"Put out."

OK, this isn't what it looked like in the pictures at all.

Where's the pool table?

- Wow. - Disgusting.

I can't believe we're finally gonna score.

This is unacceptable.

Is there someone else I can talk to?

Are your parents here?

Well, my mom went out for cigarettes,

so she's usually back in, like, three days.

Yeah.

So that gives us some alone time.

OK.

It's too late for me to find another place to stay tonight.

Can I at least have some clean sheets and towels?

Clean what?

Clean sheets and towels?

God, I am leaving a terrible review.

Um, Butt-Head, I don't think she's gonna score

with us until we bring her clean sheets and towels.

Ew, the floor is, like, black!

Chicks are weird, Beavis.

Yeah, I don't know why we bother.

Ugh!

Is this, like, one of those restaurants

in a castle, you know?

Uh, like Medieval Times?

Here at my castle, we are known for our s'mores.

The orthodontist told me not to eat s'mores

because I have braces. Yes.

I'm being very naughty.

This guy kind of looks like you, Butt-Head.

But he's, like, way better looking, you know?

Uh, no way.

I'm better looking than this guy.

I look cool.

But when I grow up, I want to start a restaurant

like this, where, like, I just stare at people.

And it'll be called Butt-Head's Place.

People will come in, and they'll be like, uh,

can I see a menu? And then I'll just do this.

♪ Tell me ♪

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like this guy.

Yeah.

I'd eat there.

So what kind of food would you have?

Uh, like nachos and, uh...

uh... I'll put someone else in charge of the food.

I'll just be there to stare.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

This reminds me of that time that your mom

thought it was Thanksgiving,

but it was actually an intervention.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It didn't work.

And it was August.

That was actually one of the better interventions, you know?

There was a fight at that one, yeah.

He's like, "Uh...

I forgot my lines."

Yeah, just throw her on the chair, and I'll think of it.

Duh...

Oh, I remember.

My name is Hozier.

Yes, yes, we know, Hozier.

Just sit in the chair and stare at the girl, please.

Yeah.

Will you be Hozier's friend?

Does everyone have to do laundry before they score?

Probably.

That's why there's so many people here.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, what do we do?

I think we put it, like, in the washing machine?

You know how to do laundry.

Shut up. I do not.

Wuss.

Yeah, OK, um, OK, let me see, um...

And there we go.

So now we just wait for it to be done.

What the hell's taking so long?

We have to get back and score. Come on!

Finally.

Our laundry looks different.

Uh, that's because it's, like, clean.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Whoa.

This towel got clean, and now it looks like a bra.

Cool.

We should have laundried it a long time ago.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Laundry kicks ass.

Here you go, lady.

Clean sheets and towels.

So, do you want us to put these in the bedroom,

or do you want to start this party

right here on the floor?

Um, who's this guy?

This is Paul.

He's the other name on the reservation.

Oh, hey.

Did you get us clean sheets and towels?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, we didn't want to, but it's the only way

she'll let us score.

They're all wet.

Ugh, this place is a disaster.

I'm so sorry. - It's all right, babe.

I got us a hotel for tomorrow.

Let's just try to make the best of it for one night, OK?

OK.

So, like, uh, Paul, you should probably go,

'cause we're about to, like, you know, do some stuff here.

Yeah, like, get busy, you know.

Yeah, I'm sure you guys are really busy.

So thanks so much. We don't need anything else.

We're all set.

We're kind of tired, so...

Yeah, we did laundry, like you said.

We're B&B.

Yeah, totally.

We just could use a little privacy.

So, you know... - Huh?

- Uh, what? - Thanks so much.

And I'm sure we'll see you tomorrow when we check out.

Uh, what?

Eh. It's locked.

This sucks.

That guy better not be scoring with our chick.

Look in the window.

They pulled down the shades, Butt-Head.

Well, there's a hole you can look through.

Get up there.

OK, OK, yeah.

Ugh.

Hole.

You said "hole."

Do you see them?

Yeah they're sitting on the couch.

Ah! I can see his butt!

Uh, can you see his schlong?

I think, uh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, no. Yeah.

No. Yeah. No. Yeah.

No, yeah, no, yeah. no, yeah, no, no, no, no.

I think he's scoring with her.

Yeah.

- Damn it. - Ahh!

Now what do we do?

Maybe we could go back to that laundromat place

and see if there's another bra there or something.

Oh, yeah.

Bras rule.

Chirp.