Original subtitles

Everyone, if I could have your attention.

What?

A new student is going to be joining us today

on our journey of learning.

Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?

Hi, everybody. My name's Beavis.

Wait, what?

Mm-kay, well, we already have a student named Beavis.

Yeah, yeah. It's, like, me or something.

Right?

So why don't you go by your initial, Beavis H?

Beavis H, go ahead and find a seat.

Okay.

My family just moved here from Michigan.

Oh, boy.

So I guess we're both named Beavis, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

What's your initial?

I don't know.

I think it's-- I think it's a letter.

The biggest battle America fought in World War II

was called the Battle of the Bulge.

Hey, Beavis. - Yeah?

What?

You said my name.

Um, he's talking to me.

Oh, okay.

If you mean me, just say Beavis H.

Uh, okay.

Hey, Beavis.

Did you mean Beavis H?

No.

Oh, okay. Got it. My bad.

Go ahead.

Uh, hey, Beavis.

He's talking to you, buddy. Have a good conversation.

Damn it, just let Butt-Head say what he was gonna say!

Jesus.

Butt-Head, what were you gonna say?

Uh, he said bulge.

Who said bulge?

Uh, I don't remember anymore.

Somebody said bulge.

Bulge.

He did say bulge.

That's funny, dude.

Bulge like a bulge in your pants.

Beavis, Beavis, and Butt-Head,

please quiet down, mm-kay?

Sorry, Mr. V.

We better be quiet.

No more laughing about you know what.

Yeah.

Beavis sucks.

Centuries ago, master archers were able to perform

incredible feats of archery.

These skills have long since been forgotten,

but the Danish archer Lars Andersen

is trying to reinvent what has been lost.

This guy is, like, the best guy in the world at archery,

but I could just shoot him with a gun.

And I'm dumb and not good at anything.

Oh, yeah.

That's why they invented the gun, you know?

For dumbasses like us.

In the 1938 movie "The Adventures of Robin Hood,"

Robin Hood splits an arrow down the middle.

Some consider this the ultimate archery trick.

Uh, the ultimate archery trick is to, like,

try to impress chicks with archery.

And it's never been done.

Yeah.

Robin Hood never scored.

If I was in "Robin Hood,"

I would just, like, bring a gun.

And I would just, like, shoot Robin Hood.

And I'd take all the money he stole

and give it back to the rich people.

Yeah.

Rich people are cool.

And the poor people, you know, um,

well, you know, they just need something to, um--

to motivate them to get off their butts

and make some money, see?

So in a way, when I steal their money,

I'd be doing 'em a favor, see?

They're not trying hard enough.

For modern target archery.

His mom is like, uh, Lars, lunch is ready.

Mom, I'm playing with my arrows.

I'm pretending I'm in a battle.

His mom's like, that's great, honey.

How old are you now, 29?

How about maybe shooting some rent arrows or something?

How about shooting some of your dirty laundry

into the washing machine?

That's an archery trick I've never seen.

Come on.

How about shooting yourself into a job interview somewhere?

And then his dad's like, ugh.

What are we gonna do about that kid?

Well, you're the one who bought him

that kids archery set.

Now it's my fault. Everything's my fault!

Yeah.

Lars, remember I told you about that job opening

at your uncle's factory?

You could be the first security guard with arrows.

You know, Beavis is a French name.

My mom's French. Is your mom French?

Um, Butt-Head says she's a slut.

Mine is from the Grand Est region.

It must be full of dudes named Beavis.

We should go live there.

But no, right?

We're gonna go sit over there now, like, by ourselves.

I'm so tired of Beavis.

Uh, you mean the new guy or yourself?

The new guy.

But I guess-- I guess myself too.

Never really thought about that.

Anyone named Beavis pretty much sucks.

That's what I always say.

It's kind of like my motto or whatever.

Yeah, but that Beavis is always, like, hanging around

and being a butthole when no one wants him there.

All Beavises are like that, Beavis.

That's just what Beavises do.

They don't know any better.

I can't believe this lunchroom has nachos.

So sweet!

But they don't taste sweet,

'cause that would be weird, yeah?

See, Butt-Head?

- You mean me? - What?

No, I said Butt-Head!

Oh, I thought you were making fun of me.

I can be a real butt-head sometimes.

Hehe!

It's cool if you were.

I know that's part of friendship.

Hey, Beavis.

You mean me?

No, I'm talking to Beavis.

How's your first day going, Beavis?

Awesome.

Did you know there's another kid here named Beavis?

Really? At this school?

I've been going to school here for three years.

Do you wanna do homework together later?

Oh, yeah. For sure. That'd be tight.

Um, If you mean me, you can just say

regular Beavis or something.

Bye, Beavis.

Beavis, you're the least cool Beavis in the entire world.

Yeah. Yeah.

Probably so.

Yeah.

Butt-Head, I don't care what the answer is.

And it doesn't matter what you say or anything.

But--but, like, do you think I'm, like,

the better Beavis or something?

Oh, yeah.

You're obviously better than that other Beavis.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, that's fine.

I mean, I don't care, you know.

Wait, which Beavis are you?

I can't tell you apart.

One of you's better, that's all I know.

Maybe it's you, maybe not.

Dude, you guys are eating more nachos?

I just got some, too, bros.

We're like the original nacho fiends.

Just kidding.

Damn Beavis.

He sucks.

Mind if I pop a squat?

Pop a squat?

That's what guys say when they bang Beavis's mom.

You mean my mom?

No, he's talking about my mom!

Guys bang my mom.

Jesus Christ!

Everything's not always about you, butthole.

Well, I don't think it's very funny

to make fun of people's moms.

Butt-Head, I think you owe Beavis an apology.

Huh? What?

Okay, that's enough, Beavis.

I'm gonna kick you in the nads.

You mean me in the nads or him in the nads?

Uh, it was gonna be you, but now I can't decide.

Uh, hmm.

Let's see.

There we go.

Whoa.

I can't believe I thought you dudes were cool.

I'm outta here.

Well, I got rid of that Beavis.

- Hey, Tiff. - Sure did.

Hi, Beavis.

One more Beavis to go.

Whoo!

Chirp.