Original subtitles

Oops.

Yeah, it's still good.

Damn it! Hey!

Hey, come back here, you mouse butthole!

I can see you!

I'm gonna kick your--

your mouse ass!

I'm stuck!

Help!

Somebody!

I'm stuck!

Ah!

This sucks.

Oh, boy.

Fire.

Hey, Beavis, where are you?

You missed work, butthole, and school.

I haven't seen you in two days.

Uh,

wait a minute.

Maybe he's dead.

No.

Uh, what's that noise?

Oh, Butt-Head.

Butt-Head.

Whoa, Beavis?

Are you, like, a ghost or something?

Butt-Head!

Help me.

Uh, are you, like, dead,

and you're haunting our house or something?

Butt-Head, I don't think I'm dead.

Damn it, Beavis, you sound like a ghost,

and I can't see you, so you're dead.

Butt-Head,

I'm pretty sure I'm, like,

still alive or something.

Uh, then where are you?

I'm, like, in this, like, dark place.

And, um--and I can see a light

at the end of a tunnel.

That's exactly what dead people say, dumbass.

It's in, like, the movies or the Bible or something.

It is?

Yep.

You're dead, ass wipe.

Oh, well, that sucks.

Guess I'm dead.

What do you know?

Uh, hey,

this couch is in the wrong place.

Whoa!

Beavis, that sounded cool, like a real ghost.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks.

You're a lot cooler now, Beavis.

I'm glad you're dead.

Well, that's very nice of you to say.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you very much.

The presidential fold--

this is the most formal of the pocket square folds.

It's the perfect choice for a job interview,

black tie event, or any occasion that requires a suit.

What's a suit?

Is that that thing they give you

when you have to appear in juvenile court?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Your Honor, you see a shoplifter,

but I see a young boy who was failed

by the systems and the societal rules

of blah, blah, blah, blah.

Your Honor, my client deserves leniency because

of his mental health issues

and blah, blah, blah, blah.

You said, "you're on her."

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, nice catch, Butt-Head.

And then when it was done, the judge said,

"Beavis, I'm gonna give you a second chance

to be a productive member of society.

I was like, "Oh, God, how many chances do I have to get?

I already failed."

Let it go. Come on!

How come you guys have a problem with this and I don't?

Yeah.

And then the judge, like, bangs the gravel.

You're on fire today.

They should have a juvenile court,

but like, for older people.

Yeah, well, they probably will,

just as soon as we turn 18.

They're gonna be like, "Oh, we just invented grown-up court."

Yeah.

Now you get more chances.

Breaking the cycle sucks.

You know, people always say bad things about the cycle.

But don't knock it until you try it.

That's what I think.

Now, for the best look, I recommend

having about 2 to 2.5 inches of this fold

peeking out of your jacket.

2.5 inches.

Good hustle, Butt-Head. Yeah.

Guys, you are gonna get compliments all night.

Hey, baby.

You heard about the dead kid?

I used to sit next to him.

Yeah, it's been pretty hard on me.

"Hard on."

Hey, Butt-Head.

How's it going?

Ah!

Quit trying to haunt me, Beavis, you dead butthole.

Yeah, sorry.

Turned out I could get out of that dark place

by going backwards.

Yeah.

So what's it like being a ghost?

It's pretty cool, yeah.

Watch me walk through the wall.

Check it out.

Ah! Damn it.

Damn it.

I think the wall's broken. Yeah.

Yeah.

This house sucks.

Not my problem anymore.

Being alive sucked.

I never got to do anything cool.

Yeah, you never scored,

and now you never will.

Shut up, Butt-Head.

I can still score with dead chicks, you know.

Like with my ghost schlong or something.

Uh--oh, yeah.

I bet there's a lot of dead chicks

at the graveyard.

Yeah, yeah!

And maybe some 40s that people didn't finish drinking.

Yeah. Now we're talking, yeah.

Hello, ladies.

Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-ng.

Um, hey.

Hey, how's it going? Yeah.

I'm new here 'cause I just died.

Maybe you could, like, show me around or something, yeah.

How's it going?

Whoa, Beavis, check it out.

That must be your funeral.

Whoa!

There might be some chicks who need a shoulder to cry on.

Or maybe a schlong.

Whoa.

Everyone at my funeral looks really sad that I'm dead.

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Um,

I don't recognize any of these people, Butt-Head.

They probably all used to bang your mom.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

Uh, where is your mom?

Isn't she supposed to be here?

Eh, she's probably busy or something, you know.

She doesn't come to a lot of my stuff, you know.

It's cool, yeah.

I can't believe he's gone.

Yeah, me neither.

I mean, it's kind of crazy, you know.

He was loved by a lot of people.

Uh, not that many.

I mean, I never scored.

He had a great life.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you, drive through.

Hey, Beavis.

That chick in the black dress is giving out hugs.

And if I hang around her long enough, I'm gonna get some.

Wait a second, Butt-Head.

If this is my funeral, then who's in that coffin?

Uh--you dumbass,

you're supposed to be in there.

What?

If they open it up and you're not in there,

these people are gonna kick your ass.

Uh-oh.

OK, OK.

OK, here--here I go, yeah.

If we could all gather for the presentation of the flag.

Hurry up.

Get this.

Um, there's already a guy in here, Butt-Head.

Come on.

Come on, get out of there.

This is my funeral.

Come on.

There we go.

Scoot over, dumbass.

If any ghost chicks come around, they're here for me.

Yeah.

Um, what's happening?

Hello?

Must be on my way to the ghost chicks.

Oh, well.

See you at home, Beavis.

Chirp.