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00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,803
♪ MTV ♪
2
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We have beers.
3
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We're gonna party.
4
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,129
Yeah.
5
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It's gonna be cool.
6
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,134
Whoa.
Beavis, check it out.
7
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,169
- Eviction notice.
- It's our landlord.
8
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,672
Maybe she heard
about our party.
9
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,075
Yeah, it's about time
she lightened up a little.
10
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,476
Yeah.
11
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,044
Uh...
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hey, baby.
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Cut the shit.
14
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,648
You have 30 days
to pay the rent,
15
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,117
or I'm gonna come
back here and throw
16
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:52,619
your fat ass out the door.
17
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,389
Yeah, if his ass
even fits out the door.
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00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,560
Ah.
19
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This sucks, Butt-Head.
20
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,995
They're gonna throw us
out of our apartment
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00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,231
if your fat ass
fits out the door.
22
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,435
Wait a second, Beavis.
23
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,138
That gives me an idea.
24
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Yeah, we could, like,
work and make some money
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so that we can pay
the rent--aah!
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No, dumbass.
27
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:20,480
What if, what if, Beavis,
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what if my fat ass
doesn't fit out the door?
29
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:30,156
What if I get so fat,
I can't fit through the door,
30
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not my ass, not any part of me,
not even my fat face?
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Then we can stay here forever.
32
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,064
I don't know, Butt-Head.
33
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That's really fat.
34
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It will be a great
challenge, Beavis.
35
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But I know I have it in me.
36
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You said "in me."
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Ice.
38
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,283
Let's get some fruits
in this bad boy.
39
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,018
"Let's get some fruits
in this bad boy."
40
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Fruit sucks.
41
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Rum!
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00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,425
He's like, um,
43
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,561
"Well, this rum should kill
the taste of the fruit."
44
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:10,896
Yeah.
45
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If he didn't put
that fruit in there,
46
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he wouldn't need any rum.
47
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,601
Uh, yeah, he would, yeah.
48
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,004
Uh, oh, yeah.
49
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,239
Uh, why's he doing this?
50
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,775
What is this?
- Uh...
51
00:02:21,776 --> 00:02:23,609
I think this is for, like,
a five-year-old's
52
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,578
birthday party
or something.
53
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,480
And the theme is alcoholism.
54
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,816
Yeah.
55
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,317
And then the piñata
is just gonna be, like,
56
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,454
a drunk guy
passed out on the sidewalk.
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Whoa.
58
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That's gonna be a good
five-year-old birthday party
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right there.
60
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,962
And then they'll have, like,
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a bouncy homeless shelter.
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00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:50,036
You know, Butt-Head, um,
all kidding aside,
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I just want to say, um,
you know,
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underage drinking
is a real problem, you know?
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Exactly, Beavis.
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That's an important message.
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00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:01,080
But the sad truth is,
most young kids these days
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00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,850
aren't cool enough
to underage drink.
69
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,855
Yeah.
Yeah, stick to milk, losers.
70
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,657
Let's save the wine for last,
71
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:12,926
OK, 'cause it's a special...
72
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,560
You know, um--
you know, it's cool
73
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:17,230
that this guy is, like,
making drinking fun again,
74
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,564
you know, 'cause, um--
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00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:19,933
'cause usually
I just think of it
76
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,700
as something that I have to do,
you know?
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00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,670
Yeah.
78
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:28,140
Yeah, you know, it's like,
"Eh, I don't want the shakes.
79
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,510
Got to do this again.
Oh, boy."
80
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,812
Yeah.
81
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,182
I drank, like, the first
six beers because I have to.
82
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:38,251
And then the rest is for me.
83
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,955
Yeah, it's about 12 for me.
84
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,027
Box wine!
85
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,265
This video cost him
custody of his children.
86
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,672
It's like, how did I know
when I hit rock bottom?
87
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,974
Well, I have a video of it.
88
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,577
Here it is.
89
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,813
Oh, yeah.
90
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,983
Rock bottom is cool.
91
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,184
Yeah, yeah.
92
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,485
Yeah, I want to hit
rock bottom, yeah.
93
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,089
I feel like I'm close.
94
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,723
Oh, you will, Beavis.
95
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:20,193
I have faith in you.
96
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:21,495
Uh...
97
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,662
are you drunk right now?
98
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,999
Well, um, well,
my head doesn't hurt,
99
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,668
so, um, I guess so, yeah.
100
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:33,339
Cool.
101
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,742
Life is good, yeah.
102
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,577
I appreciate that.
Later!
103
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,747
There you go.
104
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,416
30 days to make you so fat,
105
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you can't fit out the door.
106
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,920
And so it begins.
107
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,957
It's hero time.
108
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:54,995
You can do it, Butt-Head.
109
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,162
I believe in you.
110
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,032
Oh, yeah.
111
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,500
Huh.
Now I'm a little hungry.
112
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,503
No, Beavis.
113
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,574
This is all for me.
114
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,509
But, um, I just, like, um--
115
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,811
I haven't had lunch yet
'cause I was, um--
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00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,346
I was buying hot dogs
and putting them in a bag.
117
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,551
Beavis, if I don't eat
all this food,
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I won't get fat enough.
119
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,822
Do you want us to get evicted?
120
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,058
No, but, um, just 'cause
you need to get fat
121
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,325
doesn't mean I can't eat.
122
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,161
Yes, it does.
123
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:31,265
Every bite of food you eat
is one less ounce of fat
124
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,733
jamming me in the doorway.
125
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,169
Eh, I guess that's true,
but--
126
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,905
I'm eating
for two now, Beavis.
127
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,077
And you're eating for zero.
128
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,309
I can't do it, Beavis.
129
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:17,978
I'm full.
130
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,648
You're full
when I say you're full!
131
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,625
The landlord's gonna come
evict us tomorrow, Butt-Head.
132
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Look how fat I am.
133
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,430
I'm never gonna fit.
134
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,802
Eh, yeah, that's cool, yeah.
135
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,037
Kick-ass, yeah.
136
00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:47,674
But, um, so I was thinking,
since you're, like,
137
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:51,243
so fat now, maybe I could
eat a little bit of your food?
138
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,746
Damn it, Beavis,
139
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,714
what if tomorrow I don't
get a big enough breakfast
140
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,250
and I lose weight?
141
00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,020
Then that sheriff will
put us out on the street.
142
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,154
Uh, I know,
143
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,289
but I'm, like, really hungry.
144
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,825
I've been living off crumbs
I find on the ground.
145
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,060
God damn it, Beavis,
146
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,662
those crumbs are for me.
147
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:16,570
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
148
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,137
Now, I'm going to bed.
149
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,275
You better not
touch my breakfast.
150
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,496
Hey, Beavis.
151
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:46,699
Get up and help me
eat my breakfast.
152
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,169
We got to--what the hell?
153
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,437
Huh?
154
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,938
Where did the food go?
155
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,641
No one knows who ate it.
Yeah.
156
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,945
Beavis, you backstabbing
son of a bitch.
157
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:01,514
I better not fit
through that door.
158
00:08:07,021 --> 00:08:09,989
Damn it.
Nice job, butthole.
159
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,426
I'm not fat enough.
160
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,160
Oh, no.
161
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,862
It's the landlord
with her cowboy friend.
162
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,264
Damn it, Beavis.
163
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:21,200
And now we're out of food
'cause you ate my nachos.
164
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,270
Wait a second.
165
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,004
What about that case of beer
you were saving
166
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,973
so you could party
with the landlord?
167
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,146
Keep 'em coming.
168
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,185
Come on.
Keep drinking beer, Butt-Head.
169
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,454
It's our only hope.
170
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,891
Shotgun it, Butt-Head.
There's no time.
171
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,036
Open the door, Beavis.
172
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,772
We have nothing to fear.
173
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,477
Hey, how's it going?
174
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,078
Your 30 days is up.
175
00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:06,746
You're out of here.
176
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,415
Oh, am I?
177
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,418
Good luck, buttholes.
178
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,826
Come on, push.
179
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,594
Try turning him sideways.
180
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,662
Go ahead.
181
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,533
Be my guest.
182
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,969
Care to try me upside down?
183
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,142
If the butt doesn't fit,
you can't evict.
184
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,981
We did it, Butt-Head.
You didn't fit.
185
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,251
Beavis, this is
the greatest thing
186
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,652
anyone has ever accomplished.
187
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,458
Um, what's that noise,
Butt-Head?
188
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,331
There he is.
189
00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:00,000
I'm putting the strap on him!
190
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,671
He said "strap on."
191
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,140
Whoa!
192
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,945
We failed.
193
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,482
Yeah.
194
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:24,356
- ♪ Swipe right ♪
- ♪ With David Van Driessen ♪
195
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,794
- ♪ All night ♪
- ♪ With David Van Driessen ♪
196
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,128
♪ Hold tight ♪
197
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,930
♪ 'Cause
David Van Driessen's ♪
198
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,231
♪ Gonna make things
out of sight ♪
199
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,000
"Swipe Right
with David Van Driessen":
200
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,268
the dating adventures
of Highland's
201
00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:38,138
most eligible vegan bachelor.
202
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,981
This tofu is really--
203
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,649
I'm gonna go
to the bathroom.
204
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,283
Oh, yeah.
205
00:10:50,284 --> 00:10:52,319
Mention my name.
You'll get a good seat.
206
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,087
Uh-huh.
207
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:20,180
♪ Swipe right with
David Van Driessen tonight ♪
13994
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