Original subtitles

Oh, boy.

Ugh.

Oh.

My head, like, feels like--

like it sucks or something.

Ugh.

What did we do last night?

Uh, I don't know.

I remember our unemployment checks came.

And then we went to a bar to spend it all on beer.

And then I don't remember anything.

Me neither.

It is a mystery.

And I've got this weird pain in my chest.

Did I get stabbed again?

Oh, check it out.

I got a tattoo.

Whoa!

Cool.

Yeah, what's it say?

Uh, I think it's, uh--

it's, like, a word.

Whoa, cool.

But what word?

I'm gonna go to the mirror and try to read it.

Uh, let's see here.

Let's see.

This one's a toughie.

Suh--

You can't read, dumbass.

Let me see.

Uh, Sab--Sabmub?

Duh, Sabmud.

Your tattoo says "Sabmud."

Sabmud?

But what does it mean?

Uh, I don't know.

Sabmud.

Oh.

It probably means "big schlong."

Uh, why do you think that?

'Cause my whole life, I've always said

if I ever get a tattoo, it's gonna say "big schlong."

So that must be what it means. Yeah.

See?

Hey, baby.

How's it going?

Check out my Sabmud.

Oh, no, it's down there.

Yeah, Sabmud.

Uh, wait a minute.

I wonder if I have a cool tattoo.

Let's have a look.

Huh.

Yeah, look under your boobs.

Damn it, this sucks.

♪ She came in like a lightning strike ♪

♪ Rolled out like thunder on the plains ♪

♪ Rolled out like thunder on the plain ♪

What kind of music is this?

Uh, this is, like, country and "wuss-tern"...

Or something.

Seeing this video makes me want to just, like,

pave this entire place and put a giant parking lot on it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, maybe some strip malls.

Or you know what would be really good is, like,

a stadium to cover up those mountains.

Yeah.

Just such a waste of space!

Yeah.

And also, like, this makes me

want to pull up next to that horse

in a giant SUV with the bass pumped up really loud.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, where's your open air now, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I give your horse asthma?

It must be all the exhaust.

Let me rev the engine a little more.

The outdoors sucks.

Yeah, I'm glad mankind kicked its ass.

Yeah.

This dude's like, uh, you know what you need, Jesus?

You need my hat on top of your cross.

Yeah, yeah, that looks better, yeah.

You're an honorary cowboy now, Jesus.

Now I can't remember.

What kind of hat does Jesus usually wear?

He's got, like, a beret or, like, a--

a headband or something?

It's like a crown

made out of barbed wire or something.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty metal, yeah.

That's nothing.

You should hear how he died.

Now that's really metal.

Oh, wow.

Well, I hope those priests don't find out about it.

They do not like the metal.

Yep.

Look who's got a new tattoo.

Mr. Sabmud.

Check this out, ladies.

And guess what.

This tattoo doesn't lie.

Sabmud!

This sucks.

Why didn't I get a cool tattoo like that?

I wish I could remember.

What's up, losers?

That's right.

Read it and weep.

"Dumbass."

What?

Don't make me kick your ass.

Come on.

I was just reading your tattoo.

It says "dumbass."

No, it doesn't.

It says "Sabmud."

It says "Sabmud."

Right, Butt-Head?

You want me to read it again?

I read it yesterday.

Uh, wait a second.

It looks different today.

Duh...

dum-bah...

dumbuh...

That's right, Butt-Head. Keep going.

It says "dumbass," dumbass.

It says "dumbass" twice?

Uh, wait a minute.

Now I remember what happened.

We went to the tattoo place, and you passed out,

and I told them to tattoo "dumbass" on your chest.

I'm cool.

Man, why did you do that, Butt-Head?

I feel like a dumbass!

That's why I did it.

I gotta get this tattoo off, Butt-Head!

How--how do I get it off?

Don't worry, Beavis.

I know exactly what to do.

OK, here we go, Beavis.

Now, here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna glue this to your tattoo,

and then I'm gonna rip off your skin.

Ah, I don't have time for you to explain the whole thing,

Butt-Head-- just do it already!

OK.

Um, is this gonna hurt?

Uh, yeah.

I'm gonna rip off your skin.

Oh, what? Wait, wait.

Why didn't you tell me--

Hold still.

Wait!

Stop it!

Damn it, Beavis.

You're not even trying. - Ow!

Ow! Ah!

Damn it, Beavis.

Ah!

Butt-Head, the tattoo's still on.

Uh, is that what we were doing?

I forgot.

Damn it.

You gotta take this tattoo off me,

'cause, um, I'm pretty sure it says "dumbass."

I can't remove it, but I might be able

to tattoo over it, change it into something else.

Yeah.

Yeah, cool.

Like a--like a skull or like a tank.

Or maybe like a--

like a naked dragon or something.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Just tell me what you want, and I'll start tattooing.

OK, yeah, yeah.

Kick-ass.

Uh, wait a second.

Um, is it gonna hurt?

Well, yeah, it does hurt some.

OK, I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

I'm gonna get real drunk first so it doesn't hurt.

Good idea.

Uh, my friend is ready for his tattoo, sir.

What's he want it to look like?

Oh, don't worry.

I'll tell you all about it.

Oh, God.

What happened last night, Butt-Head?

I don't remember anything.

I do.

Did I get my tattoo changed?

Oh, you sure did.

Really? Cool.

What is it?

Like, a demon or, like,

a werewolf ripping out someone's guts?

Perhaps.

Take a look.

An arrow, huh.

Yeah, OK.

I guess that's sort of cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, I kind of like it.

And there's a second bandage here.

Maybe this is the werewolf, yeah.

Whoa.

A word.

What's it say?

Uh, it says "Badass."

Oh, I see.

My face is badass.

That's cool, yeah.

I'm gonna go show this to everybody.

Thanks, Butt-Head.

Yeah.

It wasn't for you, I'd still look like a dumbass.

Tattoos rule.

Chirp.