Original subtitles

♪ MTV ♪

Yeah, the woods sucks.

It's, like, full of trees.

Shut up, dumbass.

Hector said there's a naked swimming hole

out here somewhere.

I know, but, um, I think we're lost.

We passed that tree, like, three times already.

Trees all look the same, dumbass.

Not that one.

It's got a butthole. See?

Check it out.

Oh, yeah.

Well, good job, asswipe.

Now we're lost.

How is anyone ever gonna find us out here?

♪ Up here in the sky ♪

♪ Up here I feel free ♪

♪ Up here with the eagles ♪

♪ My glider and me ♪

Whoa.

Beavis, we gotta get that guy's attention somehow.

Yeah, and let him know he sucks!

You suck!

Yeah.

You suck really bad.

You sing like a butthole!

Beavis?

Butt-Head?

Hello, boys.

I'm up here flying with the eagle--

Ah! Ahh!

Oh.

Ah.

Whoa.

It's Van Driessen.

Oh, yeah.

Ugh, boys.

My leg is broken.

You need to carry me to get medical attention.

Oh.

Uh, no.

Yeah, we're lost.

So, like, um-- so we don't want to.

Boys...

I had hoped to rely on your basic human decency.

You'll find none of that here, sir.

But you're lost, and I know the way out of the woods.

You need me as much as I need you.

Uh, oh, yeah.

Needing people sucks.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Whoa.

That's JJ Escobar.

Yeah, yeah.

Who's JJ Escobar?

Uh, I don't know.

Some fat guy with a sock on his head.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Backyard wrestling kicks ass.

Yeah.

And he's holding it.

Come on up here.

That's the Grand Prix trophy!

That's the hardcore Grand Prix trophy!

That's the Grand Prix trophy!

That's the hardcore Grand Prix trophy!

This kicks ass, though.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It sure does.

This is the calm before the ass-kicking.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ooh, this could get good.

Yeah.

Yeah! There it is.

Yeah. Go, go!

Yeah. - Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, there you go. There you go.

Yeah, yeah.

Ooh, yes.

Ooh, this could get good, Butt-Head.

Oh, my God. This is not going to be good.

- Yes! - Yes.

Ooh, yeah.

That absolutely kicked ass.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, it almost looked like he jumped off on purpose.

And then he landed in those boxes that

just happened to be there.

That's cool.

You know, um-- you know, Butt-Head,

that's what I love about this sport, you know?

It doesn't give back to the community, you know?

Yeah.

That kicks ass.

Think anyone's gonna call the police?

Someone will probably, like, call 911

and be like, uh, hello, 911?

This is cool.

Come down here and check this out.

Yeah, yeah.

This is so cool,

it's an emergency.

Get down here immediately.

Just bring the guy with the heart attack.

He'll want to die here

more than wherever the hell you are.

Trust me.

He'll wish this was the last thing he saw

instead of his dumb life flashing before his eyes.

Then she's like, "OK, sir, I'm sending

the fire department because they like to party too."

It's like...

Uh, yeah, One Adam 12, we got a 69, 69.

Something cool is happening, over.

I'm gonna go in there and drink some beers, over.

No, Adam 12, wait for backup.

We're coming in with a keg.

You know what kicks ass?

Every single person you see here is breaking parole.

Yeah.

He looks like your mom fumbling around the kitchen

at night looking for some beer.

Like in between sessions.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the truth hurts, you know?

This is known as an old growth forest,

which is crucial for wildlife--

This sucks.

He just goes on and on.

It's too bad he didn't break his mouth.

Jesus.

Here, you'll notice

an interesting species of tree moss.

The Indigenous people--

Hey, Butt-Head.

He's gone.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Somebody!

Uh, there he is.

He's taking a nap.

Yeah, look at him.

He's just lazy.

He just lays there.

Just, like, pull him over here with a stick.

Pull him.

Yeah.

Come on.

Put some muscle into it.

Jesus!

It's like he doesn't even wanna be rescued.

Come on.

Butt-Head, my arms are tired.

Me, too.

Uh, I think it'd be easier

if we were, like, both on one side.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Set this down.

Oh!

There we go.

Oh, ow, ah. Ooh.

Ah, ah. - That's better.

Um, boys?

Ah.

Oh, ah! Ah!

Carrying one side together was a good idea.

It's a lot lighter.

Yeah.

Hey, Van Driessen, how much longer--

uh, damn it.

What's wrong with that butthole?

Yeah, yeah, really.

You had one job, you know?

Boys, it's late,

so you're going to need to forage for food.

OK?

This book will help identify the safe edible plants.

Uh, this sucks.

I don't see any food.

Whoa!

Check it out.

It looks like a schlong.

Is this thing, um, edible?

Uh, let's see.

Uh, there it is.

And skulls are cool.

Yeah, that must mean it's cool to eat.

Yeah.

Uh, here you go.

Yeah, it should taste cool.

Yeah.

Now we're going to go look for food

that doesn't look like a schlong.

Whoo, check it out, Butt-Head!

Let's go back and get Van Driessen.

Don't be stupid, Beavis.

He said he needed medical attention.

This is a restaurant.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh.

Uh, we brought you back some of our extra tacos.

Yeah, you owe us $12.

I don't feel up to eating, boys.

Uh, is it because you only like food

that looks like a schlong?

No, I'm very ill.

I have vomiting and diarrhea.

Whoa, cool.

Yeah, Van Driessen kicks ass.

Yeah.

Let's just put the extra tacos in his pockets,

and then he can eat them later.

Boys, that might not be a good idea,

because these woods are a habitat for--

Ah!

Hey, bear, no.

Kick-ass.

- Whoa! - Ah!

No!

Do something!

Distract him.

Well, see you later.

The bear's probably taking Van Driessen

to go get medical attention, you know?

Yeah.

Van Driessen is, like, friends with nature.

Um, so, like, how do we get home?

Uh, we can't go home, dumbass.

We gotta find that naked swimming hole.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, naked.

Almost forgot.

Whoa!

There's that tree again with the butthole.

We're back on track.