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1
00:00:21,972 --> 00:00:24,375
Magnet fishing kicks ass.
2
00:00:24,475 --> 00:00:25,375
Yeah.
3
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,880
Now, pull up something
good this time, dumbass,
4
00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:33,483
like a rusty gun
or, like, gold.
5
00:00:33,484 --> 00:00:34,550
Whoa!
6
00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:35,518
Whoa, Butt-Head.
7
00:00:35,519 --> 00:00:36,587
I got something big.
8
00:00:40,491 --> 00:00:43,459
Ahh!
9
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,494
Augh!
10
00:00:44,495 --> 00:00:48,232
Butt-Head,
it's crushing my--
11
00:00:48,332 --> 00:00:49,699
my ribs.
12
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:53,136
Stop fooling around
with the magnet, dumbass.
13
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,772
We're trying to make
some money here.
14
00:00:55,773 --> 00:00:56,806
Guh!
15
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,941
Uh! Uh!
16
00:00:58,942 --> 00:01:00,211
It's stuck to my pacemaker.
17
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,647
Whoa, cool.
18
00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:07,084
I don't feel so good.
19
00:01:07,184 --> 00:01:09,786
What's a pacemaker
even do anyway?
20
00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:11,855
Where am I?
21
00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:13,456
All I can see is a dot.
22
00:01:13,457 --> 00:01:14,590
Ugh.
23
00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:15,625
Come on.
24
00:01:15,626 --> 00:01:17,760
Quit hogging the magnet.
25
00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:24,567
Whoa.
26
00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:26,937
Whoa, I got something
good, Butt-Head.
27
00:01:27,037 --> 00:01:28,305
Whoa!
28
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:30,773
Whoa,
check it out, Butt-Head.
29
00:01:30,774 --> 00:01:32,977
This is my bike from
when I was a kid!
30
00:01:33,077 --> 00:01:35,044
It was a present from
my mom's new boyfriend
31
00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:37,346
so I wouldn't tell her
about his other family.
32
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,948
Yeah.
33
00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:40,617
Here's where I
scratched my name on the paint.
34
00:01:40,718 --> 00:01:41,684
See?
35
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,387
Beavis.
36
00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:46,255
You liked it too, remember?
37
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:48,725
It sucks.
38
00:01:50,661 --> 00:01:52,830
You're just jealous
because I got a present.
39
00:01:54,098 --> 00:01:55,464
No, I'm not.
40
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,333
I'm, like, happy for
you or something.
41
00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:02,539
And then one day,
someone stole it.
42
00:02:10,515 --> 00:02:13,049
Someday I'm going to
find out who it was.
43
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,052
And I'm going to dedicate
the rest of my life
44
00:02:15,152 --> 00:02:16,752
to kicking their ass.
45
00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:17,787
Yeah.
46
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:22,626
Beavis, I have
something I need to tell you.
47
00:02:22,627 --> 00:02:23,626
Yeah?
48
00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,529
What is it?
49
00:02:25,629 --> 00:02:27,564
It was Stewart.
50
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,068
Stewart.
51
00:02:34,338 --> 00:02:39,142
♪ Can we go back
to how it was ♪
52
00:02:39,143 --> 00:02:41,077
♪ Before my pride got ♪
53
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,345
What's going on
with this girl?
54
00:02:42,346 --> 00:02:43,446
She looks kind of weird.
55
00:02:44,815 --> 00:02:46,749
Uh, that's not a girl.
56
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,117
It's Kid Laroi.
57
00:02:49,119 --> 00:02:50,187
No, I mean the other girl.
58
00:02:50,188 --> 00:02:51,821
The blonde one, you know?
59
00:02:51,822 --> 00:02:54,657
Something's,
uh-- something's going on.
60
00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:58,896
Uh, I think,
like, this is LA.
61
00:02:58,996 --> 00:03:02,098
And they say, like, people
in LA are all plastic.
62
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:05,301
They get their faces
shot full of brobloxin.
63
00:03:05,302 --> 00:03:09,873
It works, though,
because I bet she's, like, 50.
64
00:03:11,008 --> 00:03:12,375
Whoa.
65
00:03:12,376 --> 00:03:13,943
I think
she's, like, not real.
66
00:03:15,178 --> 00:03:16,980
Uh-- oh, yeah.
67
00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:19,082
She's, like, a love doll.
68
00:03:20,851 --> 00:03:21,752
Oh, really?
69
00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:23,119
What do you mean?
70
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,756
Yeah, she's just,
like, a life-sized doll.
71
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,057
And you can do whatever
you want to her.
72
00:03:29,026 --> 00:03:34,598
Whoa.
73
00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:36,299
So you can do
whatever you want?
74
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,802
Yep.
75
00:03:37,902 --> 00:03:39,502
Wait, wait.
76
00:03:39,503 --> 00:03:40,837
This is against the law, right?
77
00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:43,239
No, I don't think so.
78
00:03:44,675 --> 00:03:46,342
And how much does one
of those things cost?
79
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:49,546
Uh, I don't know.
80
00:03:49,547 --> 00:03:50,880
I think they're expensive.
81
00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:53,750
Yeah, that's what I thought.
82
00:03:53,851 --> 00:03:54,751
Yep.
83
00:03:54,752 --> 00:03:56,286
Wait a minute.
84
00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:57,955
Maybe I could, like, make one.
85
00:03:58,055 --> 00:03:59,856
What are these things made of?
86
00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:01,425
Uh, I don't know--
87
00:04:01,525 --> 00:04:02,559
plastic or something?
88
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,059
Yeah, yeah!
89
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:07,397
We could, like, get a bunch of
plastic and melt it all down
90
00:04:07,398 --> 00:04:09,265
and make one of those things.
91
00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:10,867
It can't be that hard.
92
00:04:10,868 --> 00:04:12,868
Uh, it seems pretty hard.
93
00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:16,105
You've gotta,
like, mold a bunch of plastic
94
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:18,107
into something that
looks like a chick.
95
00:04:19,610 --> 00:04:21,277
It doesn't need to look
that much like a chick.
96
00:04:21,278 --> 00:04:23,179
In fact, for what
I have in mind,
97
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,649
it doesn't need to look
like a chick at all.
98
00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:27,383
All we got to do is, uh--
99
00:04:27,384 --> 00:04:29,118
well, let me see.
100
00:04:29,119 --> 00:04:31,321
All it really
needs is one thing.
101
00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:34,757
Get this here.
102
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,192
OK.
103
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,029
Yeah, see, we got all
these plastic bottles.
104
00:04:38,129 --> 00:04:40,864
I knew there was
a reason we didn't recycle.
105
00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:43,333
Yeah.
106
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:46,936
Where'd you put the
scissors, Butt-Head?
107
00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:48,672
Uh, I don't know.
108
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:50,874
Get these.
109
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,142
A drill maybe.
110
00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:55,778
Drill.
111
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:58,414
Beavis, if you're going
to put a hole in this couch,
112
00:04:58,415 --> 00:04:59,882
I'm kicking your ass.
113
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:00,916
Oh.
114
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:02,886
Oh, OK.
115
00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:04,454
Yeah, I'll think
of something else.
116
00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,256
Oh, I know.
117
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:07,290
I know.
118
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:08,492
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the microwave.
119
00:05:08,592 --> 00:05:10,560
Yeah, check this out.
120
00:05:15,332 --> 00:05:16,267
Uh, Beavis?
121
00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:19,202
It smells like
plastic's burning.
122
00:05:19,203 --> 00:05:21,238
Yeah, yeah.
123
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:22,205
Yeah, it is.
124
00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:23,206
It's melting.
125
00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:24,241
Check it out.
126
00:05:24,341 --> 00:05:26,877
Fire! Fire!
127
00:05:26,977 --> 00:05:31,247
I'm just gonna take this.
128
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,149
Just set this here.
129
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,085
Let me get my pants.
130
00:05:35,185 --> 00:05:40,057
Now, just, uh-- just shape
it to my schlong, see?
131
00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:41,057
Come to papa.
132
00:05:41,158 --> 00:05:42,393
Ahh!
133
00:05:42,493 --> 00:05:45,962
Dumbass.
134
00:05:45,963 --> 00:05:46,963
Ow.
135
00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:48,030
Ah!
136
00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:50,700
God damn it.
137
00:05:50,701 --> 00:05:52,035
There's Stewart's house.
138
00:05:52,135 --> 00:05:54,571
Goddamn dirty butthole.
139
00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:57,708
Stupid son of a bitch.
140
00:05:57,808 --> 00:05:58,876
Stole my bike.
141
00:05:58,976 --> 00:05:59,875
That's right.
142
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,311
He sure did.
143
00:06:01,312 --> 00:06:04,214
When he opens this door,
you should kick his ass.
144
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:08,884
Beavis and Butt-Head?
145
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:11,321
You finally came over to visit.
146
00:06:11,322 --> 00:06:12,722
Damn you, Stewart!
147
00:06:12,723 --> 00:06:14,357
I'm going to kick your
ass because you stole--
148
00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:16,226
You want to come
in for a beer?
149
00:06:16,227 --> 00:06:17,694
A beer?
Yeah, OK.
150
00:06:17,695 --> 00:06:19,296
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that sounds pretty good.
151
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:20,297
Sure, yeah.
152
00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:21,999
Beer would hit the spot, yeah.
153
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,734
This is what it's
all about, right?
154
00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:26,236
Mmm.
155
00:06:26,237 --> 00:06:28,606
Beers with your best
friends from high school.
156
00:06:28,706 --> 00:06:32,075
I mean, I'm not a big
drinker, but Kaitlyn made some
157
00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:33,676
of her famous cucumber water.
158
00:06:33,677 --> 00:06:35,745
Are there any more beers?
159
00:06:35,746 --> 00:06:37,346
No, uh, sorry, guys.
160
00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:38,415
I think that's it.
161
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:39,849
That's enough, Stewart!
162
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:41,084
There's a time in a
man's life when he's
163
00:06:41,085 --> 00:06:42,585
not going to take it anymore!
164
00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:45,055
So today, I'm going
to kick your fat ass--
165
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,556
This is just like old times.
166
00:06:46,557 --> 00:06:47,958
Let's get some pizza.
167
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,325
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
pizza sounds cool.
168
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,828
Yeah.
OK, yeah.
169
00:06:50,928 --> 00:06:52,830
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Buy us some pizza.
170
00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:56,000
Man, we had some good times.
171
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,867
Hey, remember when you
locked me in the closet
172
00:06:57,868 --> 00:06:59,937
and forgot I was in there?
173
00:07:00,037 --> 00:07:02,405
You guys, always giving
me the business--
174
00:07:02,406 --> 00:07:03,806
Shut up, butthole!
175
00:07:03,807 --> 00:07:05,207
It's finally time
to kick your ass--
176
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:07,244
Oh, Kaitlyn's
home from the pool.
177
00:07:07,245 --> 00:07:08,946
OK, yeah, let's check
out what your wife looks
178
00:07:09,046 --> 00:07:10,279
like in a bathing suit.
179
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,349
That'd be cool. Yeah.
180
00:07:11,449 --> 00:07:12,549
Ooh, good idea.
181
00:07:14,318 --> 00:07:16,786
Kaitlyn, honey, look who
finally came over to visit me.
182
00:07:16,787 --> 00:07:19,689
Oh, you must be Beavis and
Butt-Head, Stewart's friends.
183
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:23,126
Stewart's told me so much about
how you were the three amigos.
184
00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:25,362
You know he talks
about you constantly?
185
00:07:25,462 --> 00:07:27,096
So, what brings you by?
186
00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:30,800
Um, wait, why would
we ever come here?
187
00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:32,035
Oh, yeah.
188
00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:34,337
Yeah, Stewart,
you stole my bike.
189
00:07:34,338 --> 00:07:35,505
This bike?
190
00:07:35,506 --> 00:07:36,940
That's right, butthole.
191
00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:37,974
Yeah.
192
00:07:37,975 --> 00:07:39,108
Kick his ass.
193
00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:42,012
Oh, no, you're
misremembering.
194
00:07:42,112 --> 00:07:43,312
That's not what happened.
195
00:07:44,415 --> 00:07:46,149
Check out Beavis's bike.
196
00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:48,051
I'm going to throw
it in the river.
197
00:07:51,155 --> 00:07:52,622
But that's friendship, huh?
198
00:07:52,623 --> 00:07:54,123
People giving you the business.
199
00:07:54,124 --> 00:07:55,125
Damn it!
200
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,194
I'm gonna kill you, Butt-Head.
201
00:07:58,796 --> 00:08:00,296
Ahh!
202
00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:01,698
Damn it, Beavis,
I'm gonna stick that
203
00:08:01,699 --> 00:08:03,033
up your butt sideways.
204
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:07,236
You like that,
damn son of a bitch?
205
00:08:08,973 --> 00:08:10,807
I've hated you for 30 years!
206
00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:13,043
I'm gonna kill you! Ahh!
207
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:16,413
- Damn it, Beavis.
- Ahh!
208
00:08:16,513 --> 00:08:17,580
Don't worry, Kaitlyn.
209
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:18,547
I'll kick--
210
00:08:20,851 --> 00:08:23,886
Guys, do you want
some mini quiches?
211
00:08:23,887 --> 00:08:25,221
Kaitlyn made them
for her book club,
212
00:08:25,222 --> 00:08:27,123
but you can have
them if you want.
213
00:08:27,124 --> 00:08:28,858
What?
Huh?
214
00:08:28,859 --> 00:08:29,893
Oh, no, no.
215
00:08:29,894 --> 00:08:31,527
No, I'm stuffed.
216
00:08:31,528 --> 00:08:32,895
We ate a bunch of those little
cheese pies in the fridge.
217
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:33,897
Yeah.
218
00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:35,031
They sucked.
219
00:08:36,066 --> 00:08:37,167
- Ahh!
- Ugh!
220
00:08:41,005 --> 00:08:43,473
Guys?
221
00:08:43,474 --> 00:08:45,141
Hey, guys.
222
00:08:45,142 --> 00:08:46,175
Honey, I'm trying.
223
00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:47,176
Damn it.
224
00:08:55,485 --> 00:08:58,187
Uh, sorry about that.
225
00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:01,092
Do you have any more beer?
226
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,298
Is it OK if I sit in
the back with Beavis and--
227
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:12,235
No.
228
00:09:14,371 --> 00:09:16,039
Thank you, Stewart's wife.
229
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,807
Drive through.
230
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,144
Listen, Kaitlyn and I are
really upset about the--
231
00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:23,313
mostly great hang, guys.
232
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:25,115
Maybe next time at your place.
233
00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:26,983
Uh, no.
234
00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:29,152
Classic.
235
00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:31,020
You guys.
236
00:09:33,857 --> 00:09:36,826
Stewart sucks.
237
00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:39,295
Yeah, really.
238
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:41,163
Hey, Butt-Head, I think
239
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,532
we got enough coins out of the
river to get the bike fixed.
240
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:47,037
Uh, that means it's enough
money to buy beer
241
00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:48,706
with, dumbass.
242
00:09:48,806 --> 00:09:50,139
Oh, yeah, yeah.
243
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:52,376
Yeah, beer rules.
244
00:09:54,078 --> 00:09:56,145
You're a good friend,
Butt-Head.
245
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,782
You're damn right.
246
00:10:29,079 --> 00:10:30,747
Chirp.
15729
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