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♪ MTV ♪
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Another way
to deter attackers
3
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:30,963
is by using personal defense
devices such as pepper spray.
4
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,867
I happen to have some.
5
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,968
Hmm.
I swore it was in here.
6
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,804
It couldn't have
just walked away.
7
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,042
Hey, Butt-Head.
8
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,476
What's that stuff we took
from the Army guy?
9
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,444
Uh, let's see.
10
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:46,646
Uh...
11
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Ma--
12
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,983
mass--
13
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,918
mass-ay?
14
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,253
Macé.
15
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,323
It must be from France
or something.
16
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,525
Yeah, cool.
17
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,426
Monsieur!
18
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,695
Mon soir.
19
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,363
Uh, hmm.
20
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,868
So it's like a little
spray bottle from France.
21
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,706
And that cool Army guy had it.
22
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,408
And he looked like he scores.
23
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:19,646
Whoa, Beavis,
this must be cologne.
24
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,481
Yeah, yeah.
25
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,983
Um, what's cologne?
26
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,852
You spray it all over you
and then when chicks smell it,
27
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:30,022
they want to, like,
uh, get busy.
28
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,524
Cool! I wanna try it.
Yeah.
29
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,259
Maybe I'll score, yeah.
30
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,162
Whoa.
31
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:38,964
No, that's not it.
32
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,167
I can't find the spray hole.
33
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,303
Let's see.
34
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,171
Oh, yeah, yeah.
35
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,472
Wait, Beavis, stop.
36
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,807
What is it? What?
37
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,709
You said hole.
38
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,780
Oh, yeah.
39
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,515
I guess I did.
40
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:57,683
Yeah, thanks, Butt-Head.
41
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,386
That was close.
42
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,488
Now, where was I?
43
00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:06,226
Damn it, Beavis.
44
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,227
Stop hogging it.
45
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,295
- Oh, my God.
- Butthole.
46
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,330
Give me that.
47
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,435
Oh, Butt-Head.
48
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,038
Is cologne supposed to hurt?
49
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,174
Yeah, dumbass.
50
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:24,744
That's how you know
it's working.
51
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,046
Yeah, but my face
feels all hot and stuff.
52
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,949
And--and it hurts
to see things.
53
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:32,952
Well, nobody said scoring
was going to feel good.
54
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,254
Oh, yeah, that's true.
55
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:38,291
I'm gonna score
no matter how much it sucks.
56
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,325
Ow!
57
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,828
What was that?
58
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,730
- I don't know.
- That was a scream.
59
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,399
What happened?
What happened?
60
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,237
See, all of you were
talking to a devil.
61
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:54,141
We are going to be
spending the entire night
62
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,275
inside this haunted location.
63
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,778
We are going
to be spending the entire night
64
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,947
in this haunted location.
65
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,651
All right, so this was
John Stutt's house.
66
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,187
I guess no one
told them there's
67
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,655
no such thing as ghosts.
68
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,058
I don't know, Butt-Head.
69
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,092
I saw a ghost once
in the middle of the night
70
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,829
when I was a kid,
and he told me
71
00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,931
that I didn't see him
and not to tell anyone.
72
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,869
And then when I woke up,
all my mom's pills were gone.
73
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,674
They didn't just disappear
on their own.
74
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,542
Uh, OK, Beavis.
75
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,142
What we do know
is that John himself
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00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,644
died in here in a chair.
77
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,279
We don't have the chair
anymore.
78
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,513
So he died in the living room
here.
79
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:35,883
In the living room.
80
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,116
So he died in the living room.
81
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,686
Was he spanking
any type of an animal?
82
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,655
Say, a monkey, perhaps?
83
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,925
This place is haunted
with all the girls
84
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,862
he'll never score with.
85
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,068
She's like,
if you look in that mirror
86
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,769
and say "I've never scored"
three times,
87
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,638
no chicks will appear.
88
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,744
We're gonna leave the camera
rolling here, though.
89
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,281
Probably the camera
I'm holding.
90
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,349
And we're gonna leave
the in here.
91
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,219
He's like, um, if there
are any hot chicks in here,
92
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,855
please make yourself known
at this time, OK?
93
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:18,992
I left a kickball here for you
94
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:21,094
in case you and your friends
want to have some fun.
95
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,531
It's my favorite sport.
96
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:26,499
The fridge is first base.
97
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,168
You know--
98
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,938
you know, I've never made it
to first base.
99
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,139
With a chick or in kickball.
100
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,441
Interesting fact, yeah.
101
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,842
I can catch the kickball
pretty good
102
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,145
if you kick it right to me.
103
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,350
- Curtis!
- Whoa.
104
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,752
Yeah, I think it did
say my name right there.
105
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,288
He's like,
you're wrong, Curtis.
106
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,489
No woman will ever
say your name.
107
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,529
And you're here somewhere
for us?
108
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,731
The ghost is like, tonight,
109
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,768
you will be visited
by three ghosts.
110
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,337
the ghost of you're never
gonna score past,
111
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,905
the ghost of you're never gonna
score present,
112
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,708
and the ghost of you're never
gonna score yet to come.
113
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,745
Only then will you
understand the true meaning
114
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,914
of you're never gonna score.
115
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,518
What was that? Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
116
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,587
There is, like, a figure.
It's jumping on you.
117
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:22,956
- Whoa.
- Really?
118
00:05:22,957 --> 00:05:25,624
The ghost is spanking
his monkey.
119
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,494
Eh, I think he's just, like,
pointing to his schlong.
120
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,396
He's like, heh, yeah,
here it is.
121
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,098
See that?
122
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,666
Yeah, I got your
spirit swinging.
123
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,969
Come on.
124
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,402
Come on, you dorks.
125
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:39,138
You don't have to have bones
to have a boner.
126
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,440
Hey, look at that, huh?
127
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,575
There's two of 'em?
128
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,143
What are they doing?
129
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:48,581
The time to sleep alone
is every time for this dude.
130
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:56,956
Uh, unexplained bang?
131
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,758
I tell you,
if this guy bangs anything,
132
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,327
it's definitely
gonna be unexplained.
133
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,263
You know what I'm saying?
He's a dork, this guy.
134
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,232
This is it, Beavis.
135
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,568
We're finally going to score,
136
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,271
all thanks to our
secret weapon of massay.
137
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,874
You know, a lot of guys
complain about not scoring.
138
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,942
Well, we're going
to do something about it.
139
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,879
You know, um, my face is
starting to feel a little bit
140
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,415
better now--
141
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,554
Uh--
142
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,620
Now we are ready.
143
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,055
Ugh.
144
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,128
Ow.
145
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,462
Eh, ow.
146
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:37,663
Ugh.
147
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:41,000
Butt-Head, is it working?
148
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,368
I can't see anything.
149
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,736
Uh, yeah.
150
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,374
The chicks
are already all over me.
151
00:06:47,375 --> 00:06:49,710
Hey, baby.
152
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,078
First time at the mall?
153
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,213
Yeah, that's cool, that's cool.
154
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,517
Ah!
155
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,021
Ow.
156
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,621
Ow.
157
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:03,857
Damn it.
158
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,259
That chick was all stuck-up
or something.
159
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:08,995
Yeah,
I haven't scored yet either.
160
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,029
This sucks.
161
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:12,765
I think you're not
wearing enough cologne,
162
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,169
and it's, like,
messing up my game.
163
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,638
You know, Butt-Head,
actually, I'm not sure
164
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:22,876
I want any more of that--
165
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,546
Whoa, check it out.
166
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,349
There's a new nachos place
at the food court.
167
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,718
We should go
eat there after we score.
168
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,387
Ow!
169
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,757
Get up, dumbass.
170
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,861
How are you supposed to get
chicks lying on the floor?
171
00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:44,498
Sorry, sorry.
172
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,499
Hello, ladies.
173
00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:49,636
Ow, ow!
174
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,908
[Kameron Marlowe's
"Tequila Talkin'"
175
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,411
♪ But I had to come over
and ask your name ♪
176
00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,446
Ugh.
Oh, boy.
177
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,082
Yeah, yeah.
178
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,818
Uh, hmm.
179
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,154
That bartender's
like, uh, miss?
180
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,956
The stubby-fingered gentleman
over there
181
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,225
wants to talk to you.
182
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,728
He's also
the only other gentleman
183
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,028
in this entire resort.
184
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,031
It's actually not safe
to be here, ma'am.
185
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,869
There have been several
incidents of creepy guys
186
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,469
buying girls shots of tequila
187
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:24,705
and then taking them out
on a boat,
188
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,039
so be very careful.
189
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,842
♪ That ain't
the tequila talkin' ♪
190
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:33,045
It's not the tequila talking.
191
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,414
But pretty soon,
192
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,649
it's gonna be
the police talking.
193
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:41,020
♪ Ain't
the tequila talking ♪
194
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,523
You know, they
make a pretty cute couple,
195
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,958
you know, except for him.
196
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,660
She's like, uh, hey,
I'm in my bikini.
197
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,229
Why don't you take
your shirt off?
198
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,197
And he's like, uh, I'm good.
199
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,801
Yeah, I'm good. Maybe--
how about some more tequila?
200
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,770
She's like, uh,
201
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,506
how much longer
does this video shoot go?
202
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,545
Yeah, 'cause, I mean,
I'm acting my ass off.
203
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,947
Come on.
204
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,380
I'm playing the woman
205
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,182
who would ever touch you
in a million years.
206
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,952
And it ain't easy.
207
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,522
♪ Ain't
the tequila talking ♪
208
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,892
Damn it, Beavis.
209
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:21,861
We're all out of massay
'cause you used it all.
210
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,730
Oh, yeah, yeah.
211
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,698
Sorry about that.
212
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,902
We gotta, like, find
some more.
213
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:33,206
Hey, we need
some French cologne.
214
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,542
Yeah, um,
do you have Massoi?
215
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,011
Would you like
to sample this one?
216
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,513
It's very nice.
217
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,115
Uh, OK.
218
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,957
Uh, this cologne doesn't work.
219
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,892
It doesn't hurt at all.
220
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,496
That's right, yeah.
It does not hurt, yeah.
221
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,465
Damn it.
This sucks.
222
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,701
Nice try ripping us off, butthole.
223
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,904
I don't know, Butt-Head.
224
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,641
I mean, it smells kind
of good, you know?
225
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,175
Like a tree or something.
226
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,544
Damn it, Beavis.
227
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,079
Chicks don't want a guy who
smells like a tree.
228
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,448
Chicks want a smell that says,
229
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,284
"I'm willing to pay
the price to score."
230
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,252
Oh, yeah, yeah, right.
231
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,888
Yeah, the smell of pain.
232
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,423
Yeah.
233
00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:25,425
There must be a way that
we can get more massay
234
00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:27,961
out of this stupid can.
235
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,195
Uh, let's see.
236
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,632
Uh, goo-fur--
237
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:32,631
words.
238
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,302
Uh, he-ah--hea--heat.
239
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,104
I think they want us to, like,
240
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,372
heat it up or something.
241
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:41,275
Yeah, yeah.
Fire, yeah.
242
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,877
Fire, yeah.
243
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,383
Well, that ought to do it.
244
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,856
Yeah, this was a really
smart idea, Butt-Head.
245
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,259
Whoa, cool.
246
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,295
Yeah, yeah. Fire!
247
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,765
There it is, yeah.
248
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,433
On the floor!
249
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,769
Uh, can you buttholes
shut up?
250
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,839
We're trying to put on
some cologne.
251
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,176
Whoa.
252
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,944
They're spraying us
with massay!
253
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,912
Make sure
you get some in my eyes.
254
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,080
Ah!
17406
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