Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,172
There it is.
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,506
Kill it.
3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,242
Dewey, a spider has
just as much right
4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,144
to live as you or I.
5
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,181
Besides, it's unlucky
to kill it in the house.
6
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,684
Okay.
7
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,086
Hello, little fella.
8
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,887
Come on, sweetheart.
9
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,255
Oh!
10
00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:23,824
(screams)
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,159
(screaming)
12
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,860
(both screaming)
13
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,829
Go! Go! Go!
14
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,399
(screaming)
Open the door! Open the door!
15
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,900
Front or back or side?!
16
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,736
Side. No, back.
No, front! Front!
17
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,373
(gasps)
18
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,841
Oh, my God,
did we just...?
19
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,875
Go.
20
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,244
She can only ground me.
21
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,212
(Lois screaming)
22
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,613
Get your keys and go.
23
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,914
But...
Go!
24
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,950
(Lois screaming)
25
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:53,554
* Yes, no, maybe
26
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,090
* I don't know
27
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:59,293
* Can you repeat the question?
28
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,529
* You're not the boss
of me now *
29
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,897
* You're not
the boss of me now *
30
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,367
* You're not the boss
of me now *
31
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,402
* And you're not so big
32
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,704
* You're not the boss
of me now *
33
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,940
* You're not
the boss of me now *
34
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,442
* You're not the boss
of me now *
35
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:18,312
* And you're not so big
36
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:23,284
* Life is unfair.
37
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,623
(grunting)
38
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,292
My dad's company picnic
is tomorrow.
39
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,127
Laurie Millbrook is going
to be there.
40
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,729
I've kind of had a crush on her
since third grade.
41
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,499
(grunting)
42
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,802
I haven't seen her since
she moved across town last year.
43
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,104
I've grown about
four inches since then,
44
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,806
but I can't just count on that.
45
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,775
If I do, like, 10,000
of these tonight,
46
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,278
I should have something
to show by tomorrow.
47
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,012
(grunting)
48
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,347
Dewey, no candy
tomorrow.
49
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,582
Do you understand?
50
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,649
But I'll be fine.
51
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:56,817
No, you won't.
52
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,486
What happened at the
last company picnic?
53
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:02,022
I got in a fight
with that redheaded boy.
54
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,391
And why did you do that?
55
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,026
'Cause I ate candy.
56
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,095
Because you ate candy.
57
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,698
You do not metabolize
sugar well.
58
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,132
You get mean
and crazy,
59
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,134
you get into fights
and you end up crying.
60
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,170
Do you want that to
happen again this year?
61
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,505
No.
No.
62
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:18,839
Now go get
ready for bed.
63
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,341
Okay.
64
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,210
What do you think?
This..
65
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,312
or this?
66
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,946
What are you doing?
67
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,282
This is an important
office function, Lois.
68
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,850
It's a company picnic.
69
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,652
A picnic attended
by my new boss,
70
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,020
whom I haven't met yet.
71
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,523
I have to start off
on the right foot.
72
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,391
Hal, you're making
too much of this.
73
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,392
No, I am not.
74
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,460
If I've learned one thing
75
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,695
it's that you have to make
a good first impression.
76
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,465
It sets a tone for
the entire relationship.
77
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,166
MAN: Hal, this is your
new supervisor
78
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,635
Ms. Plum.
79
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,002
Great to meet you, Hal.
80
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,804
I'm really looking forward
to working with you.
81
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,240
Same here.
82
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,809
(singsongy): Oh, and
what do we have here?
83
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,678
(chuckling)
84
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,348
(singsongy):
My big fat stomach.
85
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,417
You know, I'd like you
to meet your staff
86
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,185
but I'm not quite sure
where everyone went.
87
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,020
(hushed laughter)
88
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,123
(loud laughter)
89
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,996
It is great to meet you,
Mr. Jacobson.
90
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,331
I just want you to know
91
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,033
that I am going to do
a terrific job for you.
92
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,735
Well, that's great, Hal.
I'm sure you are.
93
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,537
Have you met my daughter
and son-in-law?
94
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,872
No, I haven't
had the pleasure.
95
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,874
Kelly? Steve?
96
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,310
I want you
to meet somebody.
97
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:30,844
Hi, I'm Hal.
98
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,179
Hi, Hal.
99
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,547
So, nice...
100
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,349
Oh, oh!
101
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,250
Oh, my God!
102
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,453
There's a toothpick in my eye!
103
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,788
She's gushing blood.
104
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,424
For God's sakes, somebody put
a tourniquet on her neck!
105
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,427
KELLY:
I'm outside of my body.
106
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,362
I can see a light.
107
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,230
Grandma, is that you?
108
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,732
You son of a bitch!
109
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,233
I'm going
to chew off your face!
110
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,302
I'm going
to spit it out
111
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,469
and I'm going
to dance on it!
112
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,737
I'm going
to kill you!
113
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,205
I'm going to drag
your carcass
114
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,373
through
the streets!
115
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,375
She's got a toothpick
in her eye!
116
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,410
(screaming)
117
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,712
It's like
a chess game, Lois.
118
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,047
Every subtle move
is vital.
119
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,617
(grunting)
Eight...
120
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,819
(panting)
121
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,656
Oh, my God!
122
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,057
What'd you do?
You're huge!
123
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,091
Shut up.
I'd be careful.
124
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,428
You might frighten Laurie
with your savage manliness.
125
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,896
Who says I'm doing
it for Laurie?
126
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,932
Oh, so Laurie's
fair game, then?
127
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,134
I wonder if she
likes older men.
128
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,101
Reese, don't.
129
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,570
Look, I really
like this girl.
130
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,138
Please.
131
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,740
It's my first chance
to see her
132
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,741
since she moved away.
133
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,075
I'm asking you
as a brother.
134
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,144
Please don't be a jerk
and screw this up.
135
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,814
Wow, this desperate
groveling is new for you.
136
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,483
Keep it up.
137
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,685
(grunting)
138
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,253
(door opening)
139
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,288
LAVERNIA:
You call yourselves
a hockey team?
140
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,990
If we're going
to beat McAllister Oil,
141
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,291
you're going
to have to play
142
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,760
a hell of a lot
better than that.
143
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,127
You're making
stupid mistakes.
144
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,596
You're missing opportunities.
145
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,598
You got to keep
your mind on the game.
146
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,200
Are our paychecks
here yet?
147
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,437
Aren't you done
with that sink yet?
148
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,472
Are you kidding?
149
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,440
There's more in here
than when I started.
150
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,208
You're not leaving
till that sink is finished.
151
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,711
It would go a lot faster
if Eric were helping.
152
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,947
I'm not letting my star player
anywhere near that toxic filth.
153
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,783
I slave away all day
by myself
154
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,618
just because
he plays hockey?
155
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,187
He doesn't just play hockey.
156
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,689
He skates like the wind.
157
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,224
And he's got
a 70-mile-an-hour slap shot.
158
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,326
Well, indoors...
fresh ice.
159
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,363
We're going to teach those thugs
from the oil rig a lesson
160
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,864
they'll never forget.
161
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,533
Those chicks won't
know what hit 'em.
162
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,067
You're playing girls?
163
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,237
Well, the men won't play us
till we beat their ladies team.
164
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,672
PETE:
We're fed up
with those girls.
165
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,908
They play dirty,
they make fun of us
166
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,510
and they steal
our women.
167
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,178
Wow. People who
are actually more
humiliated than me.
168
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,647
I'd love
to see that.
169
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,715
Wish granted.
170
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,316
You're our new
equipment manager.
171
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,350
What?
172
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,985
Renaldo came down
with jock lung.
173
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,087
Here's your check.
174
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,556
Here you go, Eric.
175
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,525
There's a little something
extra in there for you.
176
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,426
Thanks.
177
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,393
Wait a minute.
178
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,028
There's no money
in this check.
179
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,195
It says I owe you $14.
180
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,231
I didn't even buy
anything last week.
181
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,667
There's been some
cost of living increases.
182
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,268
Your room, your board,
your pillow rental,
183
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,770
then there's those
rubber gloves
184
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,338
you insist on wearing,
princess.
185
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,840
This is insane.
186
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,775
I'm not going to work
60 hours a week
187
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,710
and still end up
owing you money.
188
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,711
I quit.
189
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,547
Fine. Just give me
the $604 you racked up
190
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,248
since you got here,
you're free to go.
191
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,850
What?
192
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,420
How could I possibly
have $604 when you keep
taking all my money?!
193
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,721
Well, then shut up!
194
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,056
And get back to work.
195
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,624
And you better not
196
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,460
let your equipment
manager duties
197
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,562
get in the way
of your real work.
198
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,300
Man, that sucks.
199
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,937
(phone rings)
200
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,138
Hello.
201
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,406
Malcolm, great.
It's me-- Francis.
202
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,808
Listen,
I'm in a real bind up here...
203
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,209
Francis, I don't have any money.
204
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,243
Wait, hear me out.
205
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,545
Tell Mom they're sending
206
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,647
all the smart kids
to Washington, DC.
207
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,983
Hit her up for $600
and then just spend
208
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,117
a long a weekend at Stevie's...
209
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,586
Reese, phone.
210
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,420
Hello.
211
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,421
Reese, great.
212
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,591
Um, you know that hardware
store on Second?
213
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,993
Okay, they've got a real
slippery entryway...
214
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,729
Dewey, phone.
215
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,730
Francis?
216
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,664
Yep.
217
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,999
Money?
Yep.
218
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,481
I don't know why
I go to these things.
219
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,617
I am so nervous.
220
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:32,653
My stomach sounds like
a bunch of dogs fighting.
221
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,754
Listen to this.
222
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,255
Put your ear down there.
223
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,690
Hal, you'll be fine.
224
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,629
What are you doing?
225
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,630
Just keep moving.
226
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,998
Hal, do you even know
your new boss is here?
227
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,800
Are you kidding?
They're all here.
228
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,835
There's Landon.
229
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,270
He's the head
of the whole company.
230
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,672
Of course
the new guy's here.
231
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,673
Don't talk nonsense!
232
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,207
Well, you've never
met the man.
233
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,276
Do you even know
who you're hiding from?
234
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,311
That's a good point.
235
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,448
Barry, is the new boss
here yet?
236
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,150
Yeah. He's right
over there.
237
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,620
Let me know when you're
going to introduce yourself.
238
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,021
Most of us figure
239
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,790
you're going
to set him on fire.
240
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,559
Hey, no fair giving
him ideas. Bet's off.
241
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,561
Come on, fellas, I'm
nervous enough as it is.
242
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,796
Hal, we're just
teasing you.
243
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,565
Come on. You'll do fine.
244
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,700
You and I both know
that's a lie.
245
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,902
Yeah, well, I tried.
246
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,648
Oh, hi, Mom.
247
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,717
Splendid day
for a picnic.
248
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,150
You want to do this
the easy way
249
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,186
or the hard way?
250
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,589
The hard way.
251
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,756
Spread 'em.
252
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:53,601
Honey, I'm not always going
to be around to do this.
253
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,703
You have
to control yourself.
254
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,204
I know.
255
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,109
Undies.
256
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,884
Malcolm?
257
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,519
Laurie, hi.
258
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,387
It's so good
to see you.
259
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,358
Yeah... good
to see you, too.
260
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,294
Wow, I can't believe
how tall you are.
261
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,730
Yeah... well, you know.
262
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,964
Oh, man,
263
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,398
I've missed
you guys so much.
264
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,867
I've missed you, too...
265
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,202
I mean, we've
all missed you.
266
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,971
Everyone. Not just me.
267
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,040
Hey, are you doing that
three-legged scavenger hunt?
268
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,642
The what?
They tie your leg
269
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,209
to another person
and send you off
270
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,477
into the woods
to find stuff.
271
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,312
It might be fun.
Plus you can win $100.
272
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,948
I just need
a partner.
273
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,150
Do you want to do it?
274
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,384
Really?
275
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,819
Yeah. It sounds great.
276
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,655
Cool.
277
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,556
Is that your brother?
278
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,758
Hi, Reese.
279
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,125
Sorry, I'm gay.
280
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,961
Okay.
281
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,497
(mouthing)
282
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,237
You work for the company
or are you a drag-along?
283
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,739
Definitely a drag-along.
284
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:06,840
Oh, me, too.
Me, too.
285
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,242
My husband drags me along
to these functions,
286
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,244
then he runs off
and talks to his friends.
287
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,946
I hide.
Hide?
288
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,115
From my kids.
289
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,084
It's so great to have
somebody to talk to.
290
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,019
I'm really so bad
at social situations.
291
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,288
My psychiatrist says
292
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,290
that I'm emotionally
detached
293
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,659
and that I have
paranoid fantasies
294
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:28,696
about what people
are thinking about me.
295
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,031
Uh-huh.
296
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,499
Yeah.
297
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,702
Sometimes it can
get really ugly.
298
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,537
False accusations,
crying jags.
299
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,472
I don't know why
my husband married me.
300
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,341
Oh, I mean, I know
why I married him, of course.
301
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,111
Because I'm addicted
to disapproval.
302
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,612
Ah. Really?
303
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,647
Oh, yeah, yeah.
304
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,883
Of course, I only have
myself to blame
305
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,119
because he's exactly
like my father was.
306
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,355
Oh, my God,
he was so judgmental.
307
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,724
Every time
I opened my mouth,
308
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,658
I felt like
I was torturing him.
309
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,896
Go! Good hustle!
310
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,498
Nice slashing!
311
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,167
Guys, let's go!
312
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,736
Keep it moving!
313
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,470
Keep your legs moving!
314
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,140
Good!
315
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,475
Push it!
316
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,744
Good move, Wendy!
317
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,011
Don't relax!
318
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,747
Wow, they're good.
319
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,015
They got nothing
on my boy.
320
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,316
How's the diarrhea?
321
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,417
You feeling all right?
322
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,652
Tip-top.
323
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,354
Hey, Coach, there's Lavernia.
324
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,323
I hear she might actually
have a team this year.
325
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,159
You think we ought
to adjust the front line?
326
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,427
Clarence... Clarence.
327
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,329
What?
328
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,498
Oh, hey, Lavernia.
329
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,767
I was afraid
330
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,501
you'd show
your face.
331
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,436
Not that I was afraid
you'd play me--
332
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,840
just that you'd
show your face. Ha!
333
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,175
Hello, Clarence.
334
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,511
I thought you only gave
your pep talks in your van.
335
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,613
Ah, you'll get a boyfriend
one of these days.
336
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,017
You'll have that
moment of bliss,
337
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,518
and then you'll
bite his head off
338
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,088
and lay your rotten eggs
down his decapitated body.
339
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,456
Come on, was that
comment necessary?
340
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,793
That's exactly why
people don't like you.
341
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,460
People like me.
342
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,729
Who doesn't like me?
343
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,698
I got a good feeling
about today.
344
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,866
Look at these girls.
345
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,034
They're not
so tough.
346
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,302
Wait till I get
out there.
347
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,369
I'm going to go...
348
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,637
(screams)
349
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,385
How's my breath?
350
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,921
It seems fine.
351
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,555
Not too minty?
352
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,057
'Cause that can
be just as bad.
353
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,926
Please give me
back my compact.
354
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,498
Okay, get in, get out.
355
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,634
Just say hello and go.
356
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,469
Nope.
357
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:50,503
(gasps)
358
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,072
Mr. Landon, hello.
359
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,240
Hey, Hal.
360
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,908
I told you about the first time
I met this guy, right?
361
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,743
The urinal cake guy.
362
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,945
(laughing)
363
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:58,946
Unbelievable.
364
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,413
But I didn't
fire him.
365
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,449
He's turned out to be
one of our finest
366
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,783
systems managers.
367
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,485
Just goes to show you
that even a gibbering idiot
368
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,087
can surprise you.
369
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,823
Oh, you know, sir, that would
make a great chapter heading
370
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:10,790
for your new book.
371
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,927
I thought he dropped
his pill case.
372
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,796
Excuse me for being considerate.
373
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,531
Hi. John Pratt!
374
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,300
It is a pleasure
to meet you!
375
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,368
Hi.
376
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,469
You are a hard man to find.
377
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,938
I finally had to have
someone point you out.
378
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,707
Well, it's not like
I'm avoiding you.
379
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,443
(both laughing)
380
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,812
I had heard you had
a great sense of humor.
381
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,383
I know it's just
going to be great
working with you.
382
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,318
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
383
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,390
Well, I-I should get back
to my family now.
384
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,357
Oh, right, right.
385
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,692
I'm sorry to hold you up.
386
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,228
It is a real pleasure
to meet you, Mr. Landon.
387
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,430
Same here.
388
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,867
(gasps)
389
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,311
All right, boys,
you got ten minutes.
390
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,713
Leave your wallets
and other valuables in here.
391
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,714
And hustle up.
392
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,150
We got to get out on
the ice and warm up.
393
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,718
I don't think I can play.
394
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,221
My glute cramped up
on the ride over.
395
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,222
You have to play.
396
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,991
Go lay down
on that table.
397
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,326
You.
398
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,593
Get over there.
399
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,062
Give him a good,
strong massage.
400
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,264
Work that knot
out of his glute.
401
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,099
Out of his what?
402
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,603
No way!
403
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,272
He's our goalie.
We need him.
404
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,106
No!
405
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,608
Look, you owe me $604.
406
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,545
You do this,
I'll take off a dollar fifty.
407
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,013
A dollar fifty?!
408
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,014
And if you don't,
409
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,583
I'll charge you 50 bucks
for the ride home.
410
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,452
The rest of you
get out there!
411
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,620
(players shouting)
Show them what you got.
412
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,789
Here, you're responsible
for these valuables
413
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,324
till after the game.
414
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,762
Don't be afraid
to dig in deep.
415
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,565
If it helps, I'll
unhitch the trapdoor.
416
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,871
(grunting)
417
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,974
LAVERNIA:
Get up, you idiot!
418
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,741
What, are you stupid?!
419
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,543
(yelps)
420
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,945
(groans)
421
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,381
I said hustle to the crease!
422
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,116
Hustle!
423
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,285
Hey, I was just hanging out
in the locker room
424
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,886
and the other coach
approached me.
425
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,990
What's that gin-soaked,
reptilian sack of dog logs
426
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,291
trying to pull now?
427
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,226
He wants to make
a little wager with you
428
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,727
on the outcome of the game.
429
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,430
$642 to be exact.
430
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,798
I don't bet.
431
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,101
I earn my money,
and I hold on to it.
432
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,669
Yeah, he said
you'd be afraid.
433
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,471
Oh, he did?
434
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,607
He also said that
John Grisham was a hack
435
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,910
with no sense of plot
and a tin ear for dialogue.
436
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,911
What?!
437
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,346
He said that
about Mr. Grisham?
438
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:50,117
All right, he wants
to bet, we'll bet.
439
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,684
Tell him to make it $700.
440
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,088
He was pretty adamant
about the $642.
441
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,256
Fine.
442
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,790
Hey, Chuck!
443
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,260
I need you to hold on
to some bet money.
444
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,462
Okay.
445
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,864
That idiot Clarence
has no idea
446
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,367
what we've got
in store for him.
447
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,701
Go, go!
448
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,636
Go!
449
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,004
Oh, ho-ho!
450
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,106
(cheering)
451
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,209
Easiest $700 I ever made.
452
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,110
(whistle blows)
453
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,778
I don't know
what's with my skates.
454
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,712
The blades are so dull.
455
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,881
Hey, somebody unscrewed mine.
456
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,452
I got Vaseline
all over my grip tape.
457
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,553
(buzzer sounds)
458
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,888
MAN:
Go, go, go, go!
459
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,723
(all yelling)
460
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,359
(sighing)
461
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,394
MEG:
He is never home.
462
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,129
The last time that
we had dinner together
463
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,330
was six months ago.
464
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,698
And that was with his boss.
465
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,168
Oh, and did I tell you
about our anniversary?
466
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,669
I bought $30 worth
of candles.
467
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,903
$30 worth.
468
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,239
And I was wearing a negligee
the size of a postage stamp.
469
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,641
He walks in an hour late,
goes straight to the computer
470
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,543
and spends the next six hours
in a chat room.
471
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,413
I drank an entire
bottle of champagne.
472
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,815
Then I passed out and
I woke up the next morning
473
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,884
with the dog licking my face.
474
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,687
And I actually thought
it was my husband.
475
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,255
I'm going to go see
what my boys...
476
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,191
I mean, as if
he would ever show me
477
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,392
any kind of affection.
478
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,858
I mean, as far
as he's concerned,
479
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,395
I am still the fat lady
480
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,029
that answered
his psychiatrist's phone.
481
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,898
I mean, in my mind
482
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,202
I do see myself
as a 200-pounder.
483
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,204
But I have seen the way
that other men look at me.
484
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,406
Wanda!
485
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,873
Oh, it's so good
to see you again.
486
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,409
Wanda, this is Meg.
Meg, this is Wanda.
487
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,243
Why don't you two get
to know each other.
488
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,778
I'm going to get
something to drink.
489
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,012
I'll be right back.
490
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,348
Um...
491
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,917
So, how do you know Lois?
492
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,820
Que?
493
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,890
I like you.
You're fun.
494
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,759
I like you, too.
495
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,494
Want some of my candy?
496
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:43,963
(crying)
497
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:47,634
But he... My... my candy!
498
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,469
(screaming)
499
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,037
You fill up
on that bread.
500
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,706
Better you get sick
on that than on candy.
501
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,941
You understand me?
502
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,876
I got enough
to worry about
503
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,346
without you going
crazy on me.
504
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,816
Stay here!
505
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:11,824
(gasps)
506
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,992
Hi, Lois.
507
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,327
Are you hiding back here?
508
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,463
No, no.
Just enjoying the shade.
509
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,064
Did you meet your
new boss yet?
510
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,666
Yep.
Well, how did it go?
511
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,801
Fine. Good guy.
We really hit it off.
512
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,636
What happened?
513
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,172
What do you mean,
"What happened?"
514
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,439
It went well.
He likes me.
515
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,107
Is that such
a hard thing to imagine
516
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,476
I made a good
first impression?
517
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,777
PRATT:
Hey, Mr. Landon!
518
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,179
You should give me
a little credit.
519
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,946
Mr. Landon! Hey, boss!
520
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,148
Is that man
call...
521
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,183
Of course he isn't.
522
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,117
Whatever you were
going to say--
523
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,786
whatever that was--
he isn't.
524
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,754
Hal, I'm not going
anywhere until you ex...
525
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,323
Lois! Lois!
526
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,593
PRATT:
Excuse me.
527
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,395
Mr. Landon!
528
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,665
So, did I tell you
529
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,635
that his mother
is coming to visit me this week?
530
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:59,005
I mean, she despises me,
but at least she talks to me.
531
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,773
My husband, on the other hand
532
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,476
hasn't said two words
besides "Where's the remote?"
533
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,012
and "How far are those
going to sag?"
534
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,447
This really isn't
a good time.
535
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,948
And every year
536
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,717
he has to go to this
stupid get-together
537
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,185
for his old friends
from college.
538
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,786
We're about to walk
into this party
539
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,854
and he turns to me
540
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,689
and he tells me
not to say anything stupid.
541
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,958
Well, how's a person
supposed to respond to that?
542
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,026
I embarrass him one time.
543
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,060
I mean, big deal
544
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,329
I didn't know who
Ernest Hemingway was.
545
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,930
I mean a lot
of people don't.
546
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,667
All right, girls.
Secure.
547
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,503
Okay, Pete and Kathy,
you're next.
548
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,471
(giggling)
549
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,740
It's so great to see
you again, Malcolm.
550
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,542
Great to see you, too.
551
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,744
For those of you
without partners
552
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,579
we've done
a random pairing.
553
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,147
Mike and Cristina.
554
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,915
Reese and George.
555
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,517
I'm Reese.
556
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,353
I'm George.
557
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,154
You can call me George.
558
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,723
I can eat eight hot dogs.
559
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,926
That's good, George.
560
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,729
You've got to be kidding me.
561
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,231
It's really weird
being away
562
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,832
from all my friends
I grew up with.
563
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,401
I'll bet.
564
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,737
Malcolm, can I
ask you something?
565
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,839
Sure.
566
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,241
If you liked somebody
567
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:11,010
and you had no idea
if they liked you back,
568
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,845
would you say something?
569
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,182
I've always thought
honesty was a good thing.
570
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,517
Me, too.
571
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,186
But... what if they
lived too far away
572
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,689
and it'd be really hard?
573
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,757
I like you, too, Laurie.
574
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,626
I really, really like you.
575
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,628
Honestly,
you have no idea.
576
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,896
I've liked you for years.
577
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,864
I think about you
all the time.
578
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,266
Oh, no.
579
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,034
What?
580
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,303
Oh, my God.
581
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,405
I am so sorry.
582
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,207
I was talking
about Gary Spindler.
583
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,442
Oh, no.
584
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,243
Oh. It's okay.
585
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,045
No. This is so humiliating
586
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,146
and it's all my fault.
587
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:50,283
Oh, Malcolm, I am so sorry.
588
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,884
Really, it's not that...
589
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,853
Malcolm and Laurie.
590
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,989
Now remember,
591
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,926
you're only going
to be tied together
for three hours,
592
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,794
so let's get hopping.
36927
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof