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1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:04,221
Lois, are you about done
in there?
No!
2
00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:06,658
Well, you're gonna have
to get out, I'm late for work.
3
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:07,964
Hal, I am not cutting
my shower short
4
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,270
because you can't get
out of bed in the morning!
5
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,532
I can get up just fine
6
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,100
if somebody didn't turn off
my snooze alarm!
7
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,319
That alarm went off
every six minutes for an hour!
8
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:16,233
What are you doing?
9
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,191
I'm getting in, Lois.
10
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,061
You are not!
11
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,020
You will get your shower
when I'm finished!
12
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,636
I don't think I'll be able
to come in today.
13
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,942
I've got a pretty severe fever,
14
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:33,207
scratchy throat, cough.
15
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,165
[coughing]
16
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:38,212
♪ Yes, no, maybe
17
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:41,215
♪ I don't know
18
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:44,348
♪ Can you repeat the question?
19
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,742
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
20
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,223
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
21
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,442
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
22
00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,575
♪ And you're not so big
23
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,186
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
24
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,232
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
25
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,582
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
26
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:03,367
♪ And you're not so big
27
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:06,936
♪ Life is unfair.
28
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:13,551
No... no... no... wait.
29
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:16,902
No... no...
30
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,904
Give me that.
31
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:24,127
No... no... no... wait.
32
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,173
No, no...
33
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,044
Hi, boys. Got a second?
34
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,221
You boys really have
a pretty good life.
35
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,396
Uh-oh.
36
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,050
Spend your days flying kites,
37
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,269
playing video games.
38
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,271
It's about time you
found something to do
39
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,272
to enrich your lives.
40
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,229
When did we have kites?
41
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,317
I could never
live with myself
42
00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,841
if my boys grew up to be
selfish little pigs,
43
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,626
so I decided
to volunteer you
44
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,323
to do a little
charity work.
45
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:48,020
You can choose between
46
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:51,415
helping old people
or helping poor people.
47
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,549
Or I can make you do both.
48
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,246
Okay, old people.
49
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,118
What can be hard
about old people?
50
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,425
Poor people--
we want poor people.
51
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:08,084
Hi.
52
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,216
I'm Francis.
53
00:02:09,258 --> 00:02:11,348
Mr. Price said I should see you.
54
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,221
Whoo!
55
00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:17,398
I can't believe
how cold it is up here.
56
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,443
Of course, it is Alaska,
57
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,053
but still you'd think
they could
58
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:23,578
dome the place or put tunnels
in between the buildings.
59
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,755
So you must know
my buddy Eric Hansen?
60
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,149
He's the one who set up
the logging job for me.
61
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,414
Do you give out the axes?
62
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,503
'Cause I'm a lefty,
if that makes any difference.
63
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,201
What's that?
64
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,985
It's a broom, genius.
65
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,423
Now grab an apron,
sweep out my pantry
66
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,468
and quit staring at my bosom.
67
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,296
No, you don't understand.
68
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,690
Um, I came up here
to work as a logger.
69
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,345
Let me tell you a little
something about loggers.
70
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:55,479
They're filthy,
drunken, lowlife swine,
71
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,829
and you are their slave.
72
00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,354
You will feed them,
do their laundry,
73
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,094
and clean out their privies.
74
00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:04,009
You don't steal,
you don't back-talk
75
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,316
and you don't socialize
with the Eskimos.
76
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,361
Okay...
77
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,406
What'd I say about back-talk?!
78
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,373
Eric?
79
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,462
Francis?
80
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,028
Hey, what's going on?
81
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:23,594
I thought you said...
82
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,901
[sobbing]
83
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,427
I don't hear sweeping!
84
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:36,825
You boys should be
so proud of yourselves.
85
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:39,697
A lot of people are really going
to appreciate what you're doing.
86
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,918
You know, I'm going to say
a special prayer for you.
87
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:45,877
Yeah, that should
make us even.
88
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,924
Why are we organizing trash?
89
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:51,318
It's not trash, it's stuff
that was donated to the poor.
90
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:53,755
Look, Reese,
it's just like yours.
91
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,844
Yeah, except it's nicer.
92
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,454
It doesn't have holes in it.
93
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,197
Yeah, well, this jacket
is better than yours.
94
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,505
You're right.
95
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:10,162
Everything in here is
better than our stuff.
96
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,341
Ha, ha, you're poor.
97
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:21,348
No wonder I never got
a rocket sled.
98
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,743
What are you doing?Trading.
99
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:26,701
I'm not sure if
you're allow...
100
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,006
Think of it this way--
101
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,443
I'm making a donation.
102
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,532
Instead of one poor person
getting a new shirt,
103
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,098
now two poor people get one.
104
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,404
What's wrong with that?
105
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,584
I can't move.
106
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:43,370
Ten hours of scouring
deep fat fryers
107
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,460
with a 20-minute break
to detick sled dogs?
108
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,331
What's wrong
with that woman?
109
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:49,550
Her name's Lavernia.
110
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,335
She controls every facet
of your life up here.
111
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,336
She finds out
112
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,250
what your weakness is
113
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,773
and then she gets
inside your head
114
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:56,774
and starts working it
115
00:04:56,818 --> 00:05:00,474
until she makes you
hate yourself.
116
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,475
Women.
117
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:04,739
They're just like the woods--
mysterious.
118
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:07,176
Full of wolves.
119
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,570
Whoa, Eric,
pull it together, man.
120
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:10,919
Could be a lot worse.
121
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,747
I mean, at least we're
making good money, right?
122
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,052
No, we're not.
123
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,185
Did you see
that ledger book of hers?
124
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,839
She charges us for everything
125
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:18,970
and deducts it
from our pay.
126
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:21,190
Food, rent, aprons.
127
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,234
Hair gel.
128
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:24,976
My first check
was for six dollars.
129
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,719
Great.
Generator's out again.
130
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,504
So what are
we supposed to do?
131
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,288
Just sit around here
in the dark?
132
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,333
No, this isn't dark.
133
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:35,509
You ever spent the night
134
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:37,554
in a caribou's gut?
135
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,948
Who is this old coot?
136
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:43,821
He's my best friend here.
137
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,528
It's so nice of your boys
to help us out like this.
138
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,964
We've always loved
this old church.
139
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,574
If you cut through
the parking lot,
140
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,794
you can bypass that
traffic light on Sixth.
141
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:00,838
Well...
142
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:03,145
Keep up the good work, boys.
143
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,018
All right, I'll be back
in two hours,
144
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,890
during which time
I suggest
145
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:11,109
you think about
the horrible...
146
00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:12,981
thoughtless...
147
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:16,114
whatever it is you did
to deserve this punishment.
148
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,421
That's just it--
we didn't do anything.
149
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,249
Mom said we needed
to build character.
150
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,382
Your character, right?
151
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:27,517
Well, see that you do.
152
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,263
What are you doing?
153
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:35,438
Trading again--
154
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,613
a backpack
for a backpack.
155
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:39,616
Dewey, wait.
156
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,923
A yo-yo isn't equal
to a Game Boy.
157
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,186
What if I throw in
my Mighty Man?
158
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,016
Okay, two toys for one--
seems fair.
159
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:51,280
Yeah, I mean, just as long
as what we trade is equal,
160
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,890
it seems like...
161
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,979
Whoa, check these out.
162
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,374
Is this fair?
163
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,723
Think of it this way--
164
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,900
when you add in the value
of the work we're doing,
165
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,424
they're still way ahead.
166
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,873
Where do you want me
to dump this?
167
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,527
You don't dump it.
168
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,834
You take that bucket,
heat it up to 190 degrees,
169
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,837
pour it through the hair trap,
and make gravy for dinner.
170
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:29,405
You're going to reuse
old, filthy fat?
171
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,147
You like having a job?!
172
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,150
Hey, Lavernia.
173
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,282
I need some licorice,
some paper towels
174
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,414
and a six-pack of beer.
175
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,110
Sure, hon.
176
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:41,852
Oh, no.
177
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:42,984
it took me six months
178
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:44,725
to get you paid off last time.
179
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,509
I'm off of that book of yours
for good.
180
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,337
Hard cash.
181
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,513
I got it counted out exactly.
182
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,515
Good enough.
183
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,648
Would you like
a freshly-baked muffin?
184
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,301
Only eight bucks.
185
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,868
You got to be kidding me.
186
00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,175
Eight bucks for a little...
187
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,524
Are those raisins?
188
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,004
Last ones till spring.
189
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,705
Oh!
190
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:13,884
Quit staring at my caboose!
191
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,451
Get back to work!
192
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,019
Hey, you know what, you don't
have to snarl at us every...
193
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,116
God, high school is brutal.
194
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,596
They don't care
how much homework
195
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:30,771
you have in other classes.
196
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,163
They just keep heaping it on.
197
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,688
Is Monday okay?
198
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,602
Make it Friday-- I
don't want to ruin your weekend.
199
00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:37,604
Oh, no.
200
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:40,345
I lost the crystal
off my watch.
201
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:41,782
Didn't your parents
give you that?
202
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:42,565
Yeah.
203
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:43,653
I saw watches like this
204
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:44,698
down at the church.
205
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:45,699
Really? Can you get it for me?
206
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,265
Sure-- as long as
you donate
207
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,006
something of equal
or greater value.
208
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,487
Okay, how about this aftershave?
209
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,706
My mom got it for me
210
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,577
for parties and dances.
211
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,710
Poor, deluded woman.Sold.
212
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,712
You wouldn't believe all the
stuff they've got down there.
213
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,714
Clothes, toys, comics.
214
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,933
Yesterday, a guy dropped
off an old Nintendo
215
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,587
with a Double Dragon Four game.
216
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:05,936
DD4?
217
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,286
The Sacred... Stone?
218
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,374
Yeah, why?
219
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,202
I'll give you $20 for it.
220
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,598
Money?
221
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:18,209
I guess we could put it
in the collection box.
222
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,994
This is great.
223
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:22,692
The church is only charging
five bucks for it.
224
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:23,737
This way we pick it up,
225
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,042
Stevie gets
the game he wants,
226
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:27,392
and the church gets
an extra ten-buck donation.
227
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,873
No, the church would get
an extra 15 bucks.
228
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,659
Well, I think we deserve
something for our trouble.
229
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,095
Think of it this way--
230
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,619
the church is getting
three times the money
231
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,186
they would otherwise.
232
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:39,840
Yeah, we're making
this work for everyone.
233
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,451
Any porcelain tea sets?
234
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:44,671
Not for me, of course--
for my sister.
235
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,498
Isn't your sister at Vassar?
236
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,718
Look, do you want
the cash or not?
237
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,634
"And my job in Alaska is great.
238
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:54,245
"I'm making tons of money
and lots of great friends,
239
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,769
"so your dire predictions of me
240
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:58,336
"being miserable
and taken advantage of
241
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,338
were, as always, dead wrong."
242
00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:01,775
Well, he's a good boy, Lois.
243
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,298
All our sons are good kids.
244
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:04,691
You know Mrs. Potts
down at the church?
245
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,518
She says the boys
have been a godsend.
246
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,346
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
247
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,087
Where you boys off to?
248
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,481
We told Mrs. Potts we'd
be back right after lunch.
249
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,831
Charity's fun-- thanks, Mom.
250
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,792
Well, what do you know?
251
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:22,056
I finally feel like we're doing
something right with those kids.
252
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,760
♪
253
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,145
This is ridiculous.
254
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:12,584
The wolves had me treed for
half an hour on the way there.
255
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:15,152
I have just about had... Ow!
256
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:18,068
You can't treat us like this!
257
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,417
This isn't human.
258
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,202
We're citizens.
259
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:23,508
This is America.
260
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:24,945
Isn't it?
261
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,947
[crying]:
I'm sorry, Francis.
262
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,688
This is all my fault.
263
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,213
Stop crying.
264
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,518
It's okay, man.
265
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:34,519
No, it isn't.
266
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,304
God, you must hate me.
267
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,566
Oh, come on.
268
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,133
You're my friend.
269
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,004
I can't hate you.
270
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:46,793
[Pete playing "Strangers
in the Night" on harmonica]
271
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,145
Um, sorry.
272
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:55,410
I thought
I was picking up a vibe.
273
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,411
Look...
274
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:57,586
Lavernia may be evil
275
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,761
and she may be tough,
276
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,023
but we're better than her
277
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,677
and we can find a way
to beat her.
278
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,114
How? Our lives are controlled
by that ledger book of hers.
279
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,029
Everything we do
puts us deeper in dept.
280
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,771
This is precisely what military
school prepared us for.
281
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,033
To wage war
282
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,775
against all authority
no matter what the odds.
283
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,864
She may be a cruel,
manipulative monster,
284
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:16,431
but Mom can't win every round.
285
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:17,127
Who?
286
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,563
Lavernia.
287
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:19,826
We got to get her back
even harder.
288
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,915
We got to get her
where she lives.
289
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,830
We got to get that book.
290
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,702
I hate that book.
291
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,835
You know what book I hate?
292
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:31,141
Valley of the Dolls.
293
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,404
What kind of ending was that?
294
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,369
Okay, Stevie's looking
295
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:42,500
for some Pam Grier
memorabilia
296
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:43,850
if he can keep it here.
297
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:44,938
As long as he's got the money,
298
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,591
the church doesn't care.
299
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,071
And the guy
at the liquor store says
300
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:48,855
he'll take the bread maker.
301
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,248
You know what?
We're up to $159.
302
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,597
What do you think
303
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,034
we should do with it?
304
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,383
I say we buy a saddle.
305
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,514
Once we have
the saddle,
306
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,081
Mom and Dad can't say no
to the horse.
307
00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,604
I don't want a horse.
308
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,868
We all worked for this.
I say we vote on what we get.
309
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:02,956
Dewey?
310
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,958
Can God see everything we do?
311
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,611
What?
312
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,874
Mrs. Potts said
313
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,050
God sees everything we do.
314
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,051
Yeah, Dewey,
315
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,096
God can magically
see through roofs.
316
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,097
What are you
317
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,185
worried about?
318
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,926
We're not doing anything wrong.
319
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,928
Then how come we have money?
320
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,628
Well, uh, sometimes
when you do good things,
321
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,239
good things
happen for you.
322
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,895
Satisfied?
323
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:31,071
I mean, think of it
this way, Dewey,
324
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,943
people are still getting
the things they need,
325
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,076
and, uh, okay,
we do have some money,
326
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,121
but, uh, the church does, too.
327
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:41,298
So, I mean, no one's
really getting hurt, and...
328
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,822
[floor creaks in hallway]
329
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,054
This is bad.
330
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:01,231
I say once we get the saddle,
we should just quit.
331
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,493
We're not getting the saddle.
332
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,017
This was a mistake
from the beginning.
333
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,888
I should have known
something was wrong
334
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:06,889
when youstarted
making so much sense.
335
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,717
This is your fault.
336
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,937
You're the one that's
supposed to be smart enough
337
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:11,938
to keep us out of trouble.
338
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,722
And that's why
you're going to hell.
339
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,158
We're all going to hell!
340
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:16,116
You guys
341
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,117
seen the remote
342
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,161
for...
343
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,904
What's going on?
344
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:24,167
Dad, we've done
something terrible.
345
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:27,823
It might just be
the worst thing
we've ever done.
346
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,781
All right, just calm down.
347
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,609
Let's talk this through.
348
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,089
It can't be that bad.
349
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:37,050
You've been stealing money
from the church?!
350
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:40,880
And maybe some merchandise.
351
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,059
Oh...
352
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:49,714
Oh... you boys
have been taking stereos!
353
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,586
Toys!
354
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,109
Is that cheese?
355
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,328
Oh, God.
356
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,982
[whimpering]:
Oh...
357
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,288
I need to sit.
358
00:14:58,332 --> 00:14:59,942
[gasping]
359
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,162
Ha... oh...
360
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,424
Oh, my God.
361
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:04,642
Dewey, get a washcloth.
362
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:05,861
My boys are thieves.
363
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,950
Here you go, Dad.
364
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,517
Here.
365
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,432
[sighing]
366
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:12,389
Nice and even.
367
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,261
[breathing and whimpering]
368
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,967
You stole air?
369
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,230
What is wrong with you boys?!
370
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:29,189
Do you ever stop
and think
371
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:32,192
of the consequences of
anything that you do?
372
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,193
Do you realize
the shame
373
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:34,803
that you're going to bring upon
374
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:35,804
our entire family?!
375
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:36,805
Do you?!
376
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,807
Forget that.
What's Mom going to say?
377
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,331
All right, what
we're going to do
378
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,203
is sneak this stuff
back into the church,
379
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,031
and no one will ever
know this happened.
Understood?
380
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:47,250
You know, the church just left
us alone with all that stuff.
381
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,991
I think it was entrapment.
382
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,254
Reese, look, I don't want
to hear any more excuses.
383
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,213
I'm tired of you boys
not taking respons...
384
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,389
Oh, damn!
385
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,868
It's God!
386
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,131
He found us!
387
00:15:58,174 --> 00:15:59,262
It's not God, Dewey.
388
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,872
It's just my crappy car.
389
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,135
Although in a larger sense
390
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,919
I suppose he could have
helped out my career
391
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,268
a bit from time to time.
392
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,792
Throw a promotion my way
once in a while!
393
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,359
So you're right.
Maybe it is God!
394
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,231
Hey, I don't want
to scare anyone,
395
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,884
but this is the street
Mom takes home from work,
396
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:14,886
and she gets off in ten minutes!
397
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,411
Son of a...
398
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,804
Geez.
399
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,067
Oh...
400
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,024
Oh, hey, you, sir.
401
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,678
How would you like a shirt?
402
00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,158
Three shirts and maybe
some pants to go with them.
403
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:26,637
What are you, about a 34 waist?
404
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,074
What are you doing?
I don't want any of these.
405
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,162
Why not? They're free!
406
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,076
What's wrong with them?
407
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,251
Nothing.
408
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:34,036
Oh, for God's sake,
just give me five bucks.
409
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,472
All right.What's going on here?
410
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,040
He's selling me all this
stuff for five bucks.
411
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,041
Really?
412
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,174
Oh, I'll give you five
for that little TV.
413
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,131
Deal.
414
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,263
Okay, all right,
gather around!
415
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,525
Gather around!
416
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,830
I've got a good-as-new
stereo system.
417
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:46,831
Who's next?
418
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,659
MAN:
I am.
419
00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:51,314
This your stuff?
420
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,534
Uh... all right, I know how
this must look, Officer,
421
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,276
but I can assure you, I didn't
steal any of these things.
422
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,147
My boys took them from a church.
423
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,377
Neither one of you nimrods leave
till that grill is spotless.
424
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,556
And after you've
done that,
425
00:17:15,598 --> 00:17:17,645
I want you to get
that jar of poison
426
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,080
and bait those rat traps.
427
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,560
That doesn't
make any sense.
428
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:23,433
Why do we need to poison
them if we have traps?
429
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,219
Because I'll fire your ass.
430
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:38,100
Perfect.
431
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,754
Nice job with the tape.
432
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:40,711
Thanks.
433
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,800
See, most people put
the tape on too tight,
434
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,976
so you don't get
that realistic clang.
435
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,108
Come to Papa.
436
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,805
The best part is,
everyone hates her so much,
437
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,459
she'll never be able
to pin this on us.
438
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,244
Oh, my God.
Look at this
next to my name.
439
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,028
"Emotionally dependent
on pornography.
440
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,160
Loves nut clusters."
441
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,988
How does she know
I love nut clusters?
442
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,729
[fence clinks]
443
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:06,128
[groaning and grunting]
444
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,261
You took the tape
off the door!
445
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,524
You dragged me to Alaska!
446
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:19,359
[both crying]
447
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:27,062
Listen, if you do hear
from them, please call me.
448
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:30,587
[phone rings]
449
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,198
Yes? Hal, you had me
worried sick.
450
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:35,157
The police said they released
you three hours ago.
451
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,245
What's going on?
452
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:37,725
I know by now you've
heard everything.
453
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,553
I just think it's prudent
that the boys and I
454
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:40,858
disappear for
a little while.
455
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,644
Hal, where are you?
456
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,994
I'm afraid that I'm not at
liberty to reveal that, Lois.
457
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:50,085
MAN:
Bus number 23 for Omaha
is ready for boarding.
458
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,218
Hal, you're a middle-aged man.
459
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,263
You can't run away from home.
460
00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,221
Well, I have
a credit card
461
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,526
that begs to
differ, Lois.
462
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,441
Hang up, Dad,
she's tracing the call.
463
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,530
Don't you dare hang up
that phone!
464
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,793
Hal, you're not
going to do this.
465
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:05,883
You and the boys are going
to come home right now.
466
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,059
And why would I do that?
467
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,236
Because you love me too much
to run away.
468
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,594
That-that may be true, Lois.
469
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,552
But maybe we'll
just have to--
470
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,815
going to have-have a long-
distance relationship
471
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,077
for a while.
472
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:28,341
Some-some of those can work.
473
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,125
Hal, have you thought
for two seconds
474
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,866
what your life would be like
without me?
475
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:35,130
Well, no, I don't...
476
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,915
Do you have any idea how much
you'd miss me? Do you?
477
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,572
Yes.
478
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:46,620
Yes, yes, I...
I have some idea.
479
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,143
Dad, you're folding.
480
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,275
He's folding!
481
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,234
I knew we should have paid
that wino
482
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:53,496
to make the call.
483
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:57,587
Uh, honey...
484
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,154
we're back.
485
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,460
Hey, guys.
486
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,592
Why don't you wash up?
Dinner's ready.
487
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,115
I made your favorite.
488
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:06,335
Meat loaf and mashed potatoes.
489
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:09,164
Okay.
490
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,252
Great.
491
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,862
Why isn't she mad?
492
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,393
What happened?
493
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,916
All of our
stuff's gone.
494
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:22,873
That's right.
495
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,484
I gave it all to charity.
496
00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:25,963
You now have two changes
of clothes.
497
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:29,140
One for school and one for home.
498
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:30,533
Something wrong?
499
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:33,449
No problem.
No, we're fine.No, of course not.
500
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,322
More wine?
501
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,324
Please.
502
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:41,414
So, how long is it
going to take us
503
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,285
to work off
all this stuff?
504
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:44,330
Well, this...
505
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:47,333
should put us
into the 23rd century.
506
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,856
Sesame cracker?
507
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:51,119
Hmm, don't mind if I do.
508
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:56,472
[sighs]
509
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,484
I've been lying here,
thinking about God.
510
00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,312
I don't know much--
511
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:14,011
just that he's this
all-powerful, all-knowing being.
512
00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:16,100
Kind of like Mom,
only invisible.
513
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:18,712
So I feel better being
on his good side for a while.
514
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,322
And you know what?
515
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,150
We probably all spend a little
too much of our lives
516
00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:24,631
focusing on material things.
517
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:27,460
What are you doing?
518
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,244
Praying.No, you're not!
519
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,377
He's got chocolate!Get him!
520
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:33,509
[screams]Come on, give it.
33297
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