All language subtitles for Malcolm.In.The.Middle.S02E24.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

[floor wax splatters]

Got the bricks?

[grunts]

[dial clicking]

[washer thumping]

[screaming]:
Whoa! Whee!

Hang on, Dewey!

Eight more seconds
for the record!

Whoa-ho! Yeah!

♪ Yes, no, maybe

♪ I don't know

♪ Can you repeat the question?

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ And you're not so big

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ And you're not so big

♪ Life is unfair.

There we go.

LOIS:
Oh, Hal,

it's beautiful!

You boys are not
to sit on it, stand on it,

jump on it, or go anywhere
near it for the next year.

Where's this
coming from?

HAL:
Hey, Dewey,

want to go
with me to take

the old couch
to the dump?

No, I want to
watch cartoons.

What, are you kidding?

We're talking
about the city dump.

Mountains of
smoldering garbage

as far as you can see.

Swarms of flies
that block out the sun.

Really?

Mmm.

Last time
I was there,

I saw a 40-pound
seagull carry off

a dog in its beak.

Wow.

Wow.

Come on!

Hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late.

Stevie and I finished
our geometry unit.

We're two
weeks ahead.

Congratulations,
you're grounded.

What?

You're an hour
and a half late.

You promised you'd be back at
3:00 to help with the couch.

Your father and Reese
nearly killed themselves.

Yeah, but...No buts!

You're grounded.

Two weeks in your room,
no TV, no friends, no phone.

But I was doing
homework.

I thought it'd be okay.

You're not allowed
to decide what's okay.

Not yet.

You looked me in the eye
and you promised.

You're grounded.

This is totally unfair!

Oh!

Okay, when did
I sit in tar?

HAL AND DEWEY: ♪ When we get
to the garbage dump ♪

♪ This is what we'll see

DEWEY:
♪ Five broken toilets

HAL: ♪ Four fuzzy
cheese wheels ♪

♪ Three tons of maggots ♪ Two gigantic rats

BOTH: ♪ And a stench that will
buckle your knees. ♪

HAL:
Yahoo!

Uh, excuse me.

Can you tell us where
we should dump this couch?

Oh!

Oh, for the love of...

We didn't even
get to see it land.

Well, son,

I guess our work
here is done.

You are so dead.

Francis, you know
I couldn't go out
with Laura unless

I found somebody
for her sister.

Now, you're here
so just try to
enjoy your date.

She's 12.

Hey, you guys
want tattoos?

So she's not
the one.

You can still
have a good time.

How could you
do this to me?

Come on.

You've done way
worse to me.

You totally
deserve this.

Based on what?

Will you Jethros
just shut up!?

Nobody cares how many
bales of hay you can lift!

So, now we know--
pigs can swim,
cows can't.

This is ridiculous.

When did the word
"Fascist" become
such a hot button?

I have been nothing
but a good friend to you.

Look, Francis, I'm
not going to argue.

You'll do this or
I'll punch your face

through the back
of your head.

See, every time
I trump you with logic,

you resort to violence.

I just want that
on the record.

[loudly]:
Mmm, ice cream.

What a wonderful,
unexpected treat
for some of us.

MALCOLM:
Yes, Reese, you get
to eat ice cream

and I don't.

Thank you for
subtly illustrating
that point.

[doorbell rings]I'll get it.

Mmm, sprinkles.

Aren't those
your favorite, Malcolm?

MALCOLM:
I'm rubbing my butt
on your pillowcase.

Oh, boy, Reese,
what'd you do?!

Sir, we have
to evacuate

the entire neighborhood.

I need you to leave
your house immediately.

What... evacuating?
Why?

There's been a toxic
chemical spill

about a mile away--
a train derailed.

How'd that happen?

Some idiot left a couch
on the railroad tracks.

I wonder if
that was...

Careful, son.

Don't want to drip.

ANNOUNCER [over microphone]:
I repeat, if you're not in need

of immediate first aid,
find an available cot,

remain calm and wait
for further instructions.

Will you look
at this?

I hope they find
whoever's responsible

and string him up
by his thumbs.

Hey, uh, fella,
don't you think

you're overreacting?

I mean, my family

is exposed to dangerous
chemicals all the time.

In-in fact, I-I remember

I accidentally
set off a flea bomb
in the boys' room

when my son, Dewey, was
in there taking a nap.

I can smell colors.

Sir, I've got two
overturned tankers

out there spewing out

a cloud of sulfuric acid
and sodium hydroxide.

That can scar your
throat and lungs

in a matter of seconds.

But it's not
necessarily fatal.

I-I mean, maybe you'd need
an artificial larynx,

but you'd still
be alive.

That'd be so cool.

[in a gravelly voice]:
My name is Reese.

What are you looking at?

Son, please.

Has anyone died yet?

Not that I'm aware of.

Well, what if
the wind shifts?

Is the water
supply going to
be contaminated?

What about the food?

What about the
medical personnel?

How can be sure that all these
people are going to be safe?

I'm sorry, I really
don't know all of the answers.

I'm just
a high school senior.

[moaning]

Are we going to order
at some point tonight?

Hang on, this is
important.

This is the only
booth she hasn't

been felt up in.

Have another doughnut,
lonely girl.

So, you like school?

You're blocking
my light!

Check it out.

Some idiot left
the storage
closet unlocked.

I've got every
Dixie Cup
in the place.

What are you
doing with those?

Building a future,
my friend.

I can't believe
this place.

This cot smells
like feet.

All right, we're just

going to have to make
the best of things.

Where do you think
you're going?

I'm just going
to look around.

You are not going anywhere.

You're still grounded.What? Here?

That's right.
Look around--
we're living in a gym!

That doesn't change
what you did.

Mom, we can all die.

If that happens,
you're off the hook.

Until then, I want
those buns on that cot.

Now.

Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.

Listen, I-I was
just wondering if

there was something
that I could do to help.

Not that there's any
real reason, of course.

I'm just... looking
to do my part.

I think we got it
pretty well covered, sir.

No, no, there
must be something.

I don't care if
it's, if it's
messy or trivial

or even
life-threatening...

Sir, I'd appreciate it

if you'd just return
to your area.

Please, you
have to find

some way for me
to be useful.

I have got to ease
these people's
suffering.

They have got to know
that I am here for them.

Is that pepper spray?

[shrilly]:
I also have a whistle

and I'm prepared
to use that as well.

You know, I'd be happy
to give you some

but you should
ask your parents first.

I can't.

They're dead.

What?

They were killed
by the cloud.

Can I have some?

Oh, my God,
you poor thing.

They were choking.

It was awful.

Can I have
the one with nuts?

Oh, of course, dear.

REPORTER [on TV]:
Toxic chemical spill has
been reported in the area...

Where'd they go?

Don't worry, they'll
be back in a few hours.

They took the car?!

Hey, you're the one
who went to the bathroom.

You gave them the opening.

All right, that's it.

Come on, get your books.

We're getting out of here.

No, I want to eat.

No, we're going.

[shouting]:
I'm not leaving till I eat!

Would you keep it down, please?

You were a lot nicer when
we were on the Internet.

Look, you can't pull
this crap with me.

I have three
little brothers.

I know every
manipulation in the book.

So get your butt
in gear.

No, if I go home now,
Laura'll get busted.

We're supposed
to be at the mall.

What do you care?

Let me tell you
about your sister.

She doesn't
like you at all.

She treats you
like dirt.

[muffled whimpering]

Well... she does.

[muffled whimpering]

It's not your fault.

I mean, you don't
deserve that.

No one deserves that.

She's the one
with the problem.

Really, I'm sure
you have a lot
of nice qualities

that people don't
even...

Waitress! Can we get
some service over here?

Yes?

[whimpering]:
I want the burger plate,

extra fries and
a chocolate malt.

DEWEY:
...and then they were
trapped in the car

and they told me
to get help and I ran

and I ran,

then I fell down
and when I woke up,

the ambulance man
was holding me.

And your parents were...

Ooh, you poor
little boy.

That looks like fun.

What is wrong with you?

Give that to him!

What can I say?

We're all trying to get
through as best we can.

Thank you.

And of course,
in these disasters,

it's always the children
who suffer the most.

LOIS:
No, no, no!

You're not talking to him.
He's grounded.

REESE:
Looks like you need
a cup, friend.

Ah, that'd be
great, thanks.

I wish it were that simple.

What are you talking about?
I'm thirsty.

Is that yourtruck out there
with the canned fruit?

Yeah, why?

Let's take a walk.

There!

That should take care
of that wobble, huh?

Listen, is it too drafty here?

Should we move you away
from the window?

No, no, we're fine.

Thanks for the help.

Well, that's what this
is all about, huh?

Helping each other out.

This is the kind of thing
that we should be focusing on.

Not a witch hunt,

pointing fingers...
blame, blame!

We are bigger than that,

aren't we, honey?

Who wants
a bedtime story?

Can't you make him
go away, Daddy?

[laughs]

She is precious.

Okay.

Excuse me, did you
find the boy whose
parents were killed?

Not yet.

Excuse me.

Did you say,
"killed"?

Yes, they were killed
by the gas cloud.

Oh, my God.

The boy's mother saved him
with her very last breath.

And then the poor boy had to
strangle his own dog

just to stop
its suffering.

And on his birthday!

[cries]

Yes?

I want a piece of
apple pie a la mode,

some chocolate cake
and a banana split.

Sure thing.Why don't you save
me some money

and just yell
at your sister

instead of burying your anger
in a mountain of French fries?

Are you calling me fat?

What? No, I'm not
calling you fat.

So now I'm a liar?

No, you're twisting around
everything I say.

Why do you do that?

You hurt my feelings.

Okay, would you just
keep it down, please?

I'm sorry.

Why do you touch
your hair so much?

I don't touch
my hair that much.

Why is everyone
so fixated on my hair?

I'm sick of it.

Okay, okay, relax.

I... I just...
I don't want to
talk about it.

It's just that people
make fun of me.

The guys at school call me
"Poodlehead."

That is so cruel.

I mean, I can see
it, but still...

REESE:
I got to tell
you, Malcolm,

sometimes, I'm so good,
it's scary.

What are you doing
with toilet paper?

I got my hands
on some canned fruit.

I traded those for batteries,
the batteries for DVDs.

And I swapped those
with the janitor

for the school's entire supply
of toilet paper.

Once the specially "seasoned"

meat loaf works its magic,

I can name my price.

You know, that's not
only unbelievably evil

but you actually put some
thought and effort into it.

I'm impressed.

I don't know what it is.

I guess when people are
miserable and suffering,

it brings out the best in me.

Thanks for noticing.

Hi, guys.

Hey, Dabney, did you bring
your Palm Pilot?

Yeah.Good to know.

Hey, Malcolm,
isn't this great?

I wouldn't know.

Come on, we get to
hang out in the gym...

without worrying
about dodgeballs,
or getting pantsed.

LLOYD:
It's a dream come true.

We actually get to live
in the school.

Check this out!

It's the key to the
girls' locker room.

We were actually standing

where girls take
showers... naked.

Or so I'm told.

LOIS:
Malcolm.

No visitors.

Malcolm's grounded.

You shouldn't be talking to him.

Everyone, this is my son.

He's being punished.

No one should talk to him.

Mom, for God's sakes,
they just came over

to say hi.

I took the key to the
girls' locker room.

Please, don't tell
our mothers.

I'm so ashamed.

What?

You did that just
to humiliate me.

Is that what you think?Yes.

It was completely
unjustified.

And I want you to know,
I am never going to forget this.

Well, good.

It'll be the first time
in ten years

the punishment's actually stuck.

People, please,
the money we raise

cannot bring back his parents
but we must do something.

We're his only family now.

Hasn't that poor,
little boy suffered enough

from the train wreck?

Which, by the way is
a surprisingly common occurrence

when looked at
in a nationwide context.

Please, we've got to give
till it hurts.

I'm just saying, it might
be hard to get my hands

on five blankets.

Look, I need them.
My family's freezing.

A lot of people are cold.

It's a real problem.
How about the watch?

The guy before me
only had to give
you his socks.

It's a cold world.
It's getting colder
by the minute.

You're an evil,
little punk.

Uh-uh.

Socks, too.

And then Dave told me
they were just studying.

But they were totally
having a pizza party.

You're kidding?

They came to my room
and asked for napkins.

It's not like I could
tell them how hurt I
was, 'cause you

constantly got to
keep up this front
of being the tough guy.

They have no idea
who I really am.

If they knew
I kept a dream journal...

You do?

I think that's so cool.

Really?

I do, too.

I'll tell you one thing,
if those guys ever

got a hold of that,
I'd never hear
the end of it.

So? You don't have to
care what they think.

I don't.Well, what about
your sister?

She's an idiot.

Hey, good for you.

Anyway, people around here
are freaks.

Some nights, I lock myself
in my room and spin my globe.

And wherever I point my finger,

I just pretend
that's where I really live.

I do that, too.
Really?

REESE:
And you'll feel the
cold worse than anyone.

Because, let's face it,

your circulation
isn't that good to begin with.

I already gave
you money.

And you're satisfied.
I see.

That little boy doesn't need
clothes or an education.

Let's just put him
to work in the mines

like they did
when you were a girl.

I'm on a fixed income.

So, what are you
trying to do?

Take it to the grave
with you?

Should we get you
a casket with saddlebags?

Give me my shoe.

It's right here.
Come and get it.

What's the matter?

Was somebody
a bad boy?

[giggling]

Does the bad boy want

his shoe back?

LOIS:
Malcolm!

Get back on the cot.

This kid's got my shoe.

Get back on the cot.

I'll take care of this.

Is Mommy going to

take care of it
for you?

[giggling]

Malcolm, get back
on that cot.

No.

Excuse me?

I've had it. I quit.

What do you
mean, you quit?

I quit this stupid system.

The only reason I'm being
punished like this

is because I agreed
to be punished like this.

And I'm not going to

agree anymore.

This isn't parenting.
This is just sadism.

Oh, you think
I enjoy this?Yes, I do.

And I am way too old
for this.

We are going to find
some other way

of dealing
with each other.

We are going to change
the rules.

What were you
planning to do?

Take away my TV
when I'm married?

Give me a time-out
when I'm 30?

What?
Am I supposed to be scared?

What are you going
to do, spank me?

Okay.

Mom, what are you doing?

Mom, cut it out.

I don't know what you
think you're doing.

How did she get so strong?

[gasping]

When I can't do this,
we'll change the rules.

Five hundred

and sixty-three dollars?

Come on, people.

What if he needs braces?
What if he has scoliosis?

Huh?

Okay, fine.

I'll just say,
"Sorry, little crooked boy.

"You can always get
a job in the circus...

"while the rest of us drive
our Porsches

and eat our T-bone steaks."

Dad, can we go
home now?

My stomach hurts.Not now, son.

That your kid?

Yes, why?

This guy has been

collecting money
for his own kid.

What?

Dewey, did you tell
these people...?

What the hell
you trying to
pull here, mister?

He's been yanking our chain!

No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

I swear, I didn't know
anything about this.

And if he lied to you,
well, I can assure you

that is not the kind of behavior
I allow in my family.

REESE:
Ow, ow, ow...

Is this your son?

Reese?

He was running
a black market.

He had two diabetics
bidding against each
other for insulin.

That is a lie.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now, now, now, wait
just a second.

I know how this must look.

But if you just give me
the chance

to get to the bottom of this,

I swear to you,
I will make this right.

Come over here.

You boys have both behaved
very badly.

So, you are both going
to apologize

to these nice, generous people

like you have never
apologized before.

Do you hear me?

Okay.

Dewey, come on.

Go ahead.

Nice and loud.

We're sorry we left
the couch on the tracks

and wrecked the train.

[gasping]

Reese, run, run.

JERRY:
Hey, stop him.

[Hal yelling]

Well, this is it.

Maybe I'll call you sometime.

Whatever.

Hey, I, uh...

I actually had
a good time.

Me, too.

You're, like,
a really good
girlfriend.

Thanks.

Hey, sorry about tonight.

Yeah, well, your plan
to palm me off on a 12-
year-old backfired,

'cause I actually had
a really good time.

Well, good for you,
Poodlehead.

You know what?

I don't care about your
childish taunts anymore.

You can call me
anything you like.

I think I'll stick
with Poodlehead.

Fine.

I'm glad it doesn't bother you
when I call you "Poodlehead,"

Poodlehead.

I got to tell you,
Poodlehead...

Shut up!

Do not set foot
outside this area.

Not one foot.

I would just like
to get one thing clear.

When we go home,
you fellas are still going to be

a presence
in the community, right?

If I wasn't in uniform,
I'd take a swing at you, myself.

Fair enough.

LOIS:
Are you telling me

that I can't discipline
my own child?

Lady, we got a lot
of angry people in there.

I think it's best you
stay out here with the
other troublemakers.

They'd like us to
stay inside the box.

This is outrageous.

We're going to freeze
to death out here.

What did wedo?

Maybe Malcolm can bring us
a couple blankets.

Come on.

Malcolm.

Can you get us some blankets?

LOIS:
Help us out here.

REESE:
It's cold out here.

I'm sorry, I'm not supposed
to leave my cot.

LOIS:
Don't think you won't suffer the
consequences later, mister.