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1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:05,673
Oh, my God.
Hal, look at this.
2
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:08,309
We still have a Christmas
present for one of the boys.
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,078
I wonder what it is.
4
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,712
Reese ever get that
football jersey?
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:12,813
I can't remember.
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:13,814
Well, you know, honey,
7
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,683
the boys got so much
for Christmas last year,
8
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,685
they don't even
appreciate what
they have.
9
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:18,986
If we save it
for his birthday,
10
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,488
it'll be that much
more special.
11
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,655
Hal, this one's for you.
12
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,057
Oh, boy!
You did get me
13
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,393
that DVD player
I've been hoping for.
14
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,328
I thought you forgot.
15
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,396
To be honest with you,
16
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,064
I've been holding
a grudge for months.
17
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:32,700
Now I get to watch
all those DVDs I've got hidden
18
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,068
in the garage.
19
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,441
Oh.
20
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:44,378
Jumper cables.
21
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,080
Thank you, honey.
22
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,451
* Yes, no, maybe
23
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,020
* I don't know
24
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,357
* Can you repeat the question?
25
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,592
* You're not the boss
of me now *
26
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,095
* You're not
the boss of me now *
27
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:03,431
* You're not the boss
of me now *
28
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,533
* And you're not so big
29
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,035
* You're not the boss
of me now *
30
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,037
* You're not
the boss of me now *
31
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,540
* You're not the boss
of me now *
32
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,309
* And you're not so big
33
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:19,580
* Life is unfair.
34
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,385
Oh, this is ridiculous.
35
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,920
Craig has been in
there for 45 minutes.
36
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,456
* God, I hope I get it
37
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,258
* I hope I get it
38
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,092
* How many people
does he need? *
39
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,827
How long is he going
to be living with us?
40
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,095
Look, we have to be
patient with him.
41
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,397
We burned the man's house down.
42
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,965
* How many boys,
how many girls? *
43
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,969
(singing continues)
44
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,471
* He doesn't like
the way I look *
45
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,972
* He doesn't like
the way I dance *
46
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,240
* He doesn't like the way...
47
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,641
That's it, we're
opening the door.
48
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,009
Someone go get me
a coat hanger.
49
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,144
I did that
yesterday, Dad.
50
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,679
Trust me,
don't go in there.
51
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,547
He's done
when he's done.
52
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,085
Hey, everyone.
53
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,520
Say good morning,
Jellybean.
54
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:00,921
(chuckling)
55
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,623
(cat meows)
56
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,659
Oh...
57
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:08,662
dear Lord.
58
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:11,332
We burned his house down.
59
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,368
You know, I'm really excited
60
00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,770
about this father-son
weekend at Marlin.
61
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:19,473
Spend some time with Francis,
do some male bonding,
62
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,375
maybe even a survival hike.
63
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:22,676
You have your fluffy pillow?
64
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,378
Right here.
65
00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:26,680
I'm really going
to miss you.
66
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:27,881
Oh...
67
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:28,849
Come with me.
68
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,218
I can't.
I'm not allowed.
69
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:33,053
It's fathers and sons only.
70
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,955
Well, I'll hide you.
71
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,890
No one will know.
72
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:39,693
You can be my dirty
little secret.
73
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,535
Now this is nice.
74
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,203
And don't you worry
about a thing, Hal.
75
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,705
I'll take as good care of
your house as you did mine.
76
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:52,806
I'm just kidding.
77
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,074
I won't burn
your house down.
78
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,544
But that's all in the past.
Totally forgotten.
79
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,712
Better get going, though.
Don't want to be late.
80
00:02:58,746 --> 00:02:59,847
Thanks.
81
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:00,848
Bye, honey.
82
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,082
Bye.
Bye.
83
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,588
Uh, Lois,
84
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,491
I'm aware this isn't the most
comfortable situation here,
85
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,660
having me around
all the time,
86
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,328
the forbidden fruit,
as it were.
87
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,596
Especially now,
with Hal gone.
88
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,930
Yeah, Craig,
it's not...
But, shh...
89
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,400
Whatever feelings
we shared...
90
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,001
that's in the past.
91
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,770
That part of us
is dead now.
92
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,572
Craig, I...
Shh, shh, shh!
93
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,308
(whispers):
Let's not rekindle this.
94
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,111
You know,
if you're not allowed
95
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,580
to keep a squirrel
in your locker,
96
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,781
they should put up a sign.
97
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,317
I'm not psychic.
I can't read minds.
98
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:39,753
Look.
99
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,221
No, Dewey, let's go.
100
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,923
No, it's
a minibike.
101
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,527
Someone's just throwing it away?
102
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,396
Man, that would be
so cool to have.
103
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,912
(screams)
104
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,980
(cackles)
105
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,560
Wait! Wait!
106
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,793
Wait.
107
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:21,829
You can't
throw that out.
108
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:22,830
This?
109
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:23,831
It's a piece of trash.
110
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,165
What are you
talking about?
111
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,634
That's not trash.
112
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,168
You don't know
what trash is.
113
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,137
I am a garbage man.
114
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,672
Look, why don't you
give us the bike?
115
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,307
Maybe we can fix it up
or something.
116
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:35,309
What's it worth to you?
117
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,077
What? We don't
have any money.
118
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,912
You were just about
to throw it away.
119
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,080
Give you 30 bucks.
120
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,849
Done.
121
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,751
Where'd you
get 30 bucks?
122
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,553
What are you, a cop?
123
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,195
Hey, Lois.
124
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,031
Just fighting
Father Time.
125
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,633
Craig, I have to work
late tonight.
126
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,001
Would you mind
feeding the boys?
127
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,035
No problem.
128
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,003
Thanks.
129
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,672
So, uh, I'm in charge, then?
130
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,375
All you have to do
is fix them some dinner.
Right.
131
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:08,976
But I'm completely in charge.
132
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,778
They got to
listen to me.
133
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,812
Dance for me.
134
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,147
That's right, dance.
Why?
135
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,817
'Cause I'm in charge,
that's why.
136
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,420
We burned his house down.
137
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,289
Look at it.
It was just dirty.
138
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,657
The paint job's perfect.
139
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,893
And all it needs is a spark plug
and a carburetor
140
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,027
and it'll be working.
141
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,829
We can get that stuff
off Dad's lawnmower.
142
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,364
This minibike
is the coolest thing
143
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,465
we've ever had in our lives.
144
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:34,001
This totally makes up
for all the years of crap.
145
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,069
This is the only thing
we've ever shared.
146
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,005
This is the only thing we've
had that's worth sharing.
147
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,373
The first thing
I'm gonna do
148
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,208
is go down to Principal
Littledove's house
149
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,576
and cut donuts
on his front lawn.
150
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,712
Okay, why don't you take it
tomorrow and Wednesday
151
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,647
and I'll take it on...
Excuse me?
152
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,248
What?
What are you doing?
153
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,150
Nothing, I'm just
making up a schedule.
154
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,185
Why do you get to
make up the schedule?
155
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,153
What's the problem?
156
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,422
I'm giving you
the first day.
157
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,556
So what?
158
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:56,990
You're not the boss
of everyone.
159
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,493
Look, I'm the one
who put together the engine.
160
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,894
Well, I'm the one
that paid for it.
161
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:03,363
You wouldn't even have it
if I didn't see it.
162
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:04,331
Shut up, Dewey.
163
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,365
You shut up!
164
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,567
Look, it's not
even fixed yet.
165
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,901
There's no point
in fighting...
166
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:08,936
I get it on Sundays!
167
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:09,903
You do not!
168
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,872
Dewey, you're too short
to even ride it.
169
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:15,409
I'm in the 40th percentile.
170
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,411
And you're too stupid
to ride it.
171
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,446
Would you guys chill out?
172
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,547
Shut up!
Yeah, Malcolm!
173
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,014
You may be able
to boss around
174
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,382
your loser Krelboynes,
175
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,118
but normal people don't
have to listen to you.
176
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,921
Quit talking and hit him.
177
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,323
You don't have
any friends.
178
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:35,729
Mom told you you're never
allowed to talk about that.
179
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:39,332
(playing Three's Company
theme song)
180
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,774
Let's have a hand
181
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,609
for Cadet Drew
and his father,
182
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,479
direct from the showrooms
183
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,280
of Atlantic City.
184
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:56,817
That was just riveting.
185
00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,253
And, now, we have a few more
awards to give out.
186
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,789
(all groaning)
Now, now,
187
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:06,426
we have a lot of students, and
they all deserve recognition.
188
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,164
The award for
the best history essay
189
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:14,101
by a junior or sophomore
goes to...
190
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,636
Cadet Eric.
191
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,942
Congratulations.
192
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:22,910
Thanks.
193
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,512
We're so proud
of our Eric.
194
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:27,380
We're the luckiest
dads in the world.
195
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,484
It wa a great essay.
196
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:33,487
I had a shot at the "C"
till he screwed up
the curve.
197
00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:36,156
They sure are giving out
a lot of awards, huh?
198
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,325
Yeah, I'm sorry.
This is just ridiculous.
199
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,993
He gives these
things out like candy.
200
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,261
And now
201
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,130
the award for the cadet
202
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,866
who has shown
the most improvement.
203
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:50,337
This young lad came to Marlin
as a delinquent jack-a-ninny
204
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,973
without the slightest
sign of potential.
205
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,843
And yet, in a mere
year and a half,
206
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,811
he has started
207
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,713
to turn himself around.
208
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:02,382
He's not all the way there yet,
209
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:05,185
but he is on the path
to becoming
210
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,689
an outstanding member
of the Marlin family.
211
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,858
I proudly present...
212
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,493
Cadet Gordie.
213
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,996
(applause)
214
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,574
This is nice, you know?
215
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,578
Sitting around with family,
eating together, sharing.
216
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,312
What'd you do today, buddy?
217
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,914
Nothing. I'm too short.
218
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,650
I wouldn't worry about that,
sport.
219
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,318
I bet you probably have
the biggest head
220
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,587
in your whole class.
221
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,922
Am I too stupid
to have some more peas?
222
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,192
I don't think there are
any rules on that, Chief.
223
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,931
Yeah, this is nice.
224
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:55,268
I remember when I was your age,
not a care in the world.
225
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,070
Me and my imaginary brother
226
00:08:57,104 --> 00:09:00,407
outside in the yard
building forts all day.
227
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,375
Yep, good times.
228
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,544
Where do you think you're going?
229
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,779
To the garage!
230
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,180
Not alone, you're not!
231
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,449
I'm coming, too!
232
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,886
You're all excused.
233
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,688
Kids.
234
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:15,756
Hey, genius,
235
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,457
you going to be done
any time this year?
236
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,127
If you'd just shut up and left
me alone, it'd be fixed by now.
237
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,262
You two disgust me.
238
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,798
All right, this should do it.
239
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,066
Let me do it.
240
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,736
I'm doing it.
Me, me, me, me!
241
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,470
(engine running)
I told you I could fix it.
242
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,205
Way to go, jackass.
Now get out of my way.
243
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,641
Get off!
It's mine!
No!
244
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,943
It's mine!
Get off!
245
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,078
It's mine!
Mine!
Move!
246
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,079
I found it
and I fixed it!
247
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,213
It's mine!
Leave it alone!
248
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,381
It's mine!
249
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,750
LOIS:
It's nobody's!
250
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,485
What's wrong with you kids?
251
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,461
What are you doing?
Yeah, that's ours!
252
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,497
We paid for it
with our own money!
253
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,399
Well, that was pretty
stupid of you, wasn't it?
254
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,169
There's no way
you're having a motorcycle.
255
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:05,005
But, Mom, it's
not a motorcycle.
256
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,339
It's just
a little minibike.
257
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,474
It's a motorcycle.
258
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:08,942
It's not a motorcycle!
259
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,110
It's two feet high.
260
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,745
It was made
specifically for kids.
261
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,714
Two wheels. Motor.
Motorcycle.
262
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:20,187
Look, I... I understand
that, uh, Francis
263
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,790
is never going to be
the perfect kid.
264
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,693
You see,
what I'm asking for here
265
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:29,296
is, is just a little...
ray of hope.
266
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,400
Anything at all?
267
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:38,071
Francis is...
268
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:43,543
...not interested in learning.
269
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,881
Francis is...
270
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,649
interested in causing trouble.
271
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:53,486
I'm sorry to have to say that,
but I have seen his type before.
272
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,955
All he likes to do
273
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,357
is flout authority.
274
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,359
He has contempt for rules.
275
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,029
He lives to undermine
and destroy.
276
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,330
He feels
no compunction...
277
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,397
Okay.
278
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:08,368
I get it.
279
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,504
Isn't there anything
positive you can tell me?
280
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,908
Sorry.
281
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,646
Oh, wait.
282
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,647
Yes?
283
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,084
Do you want chicken
or fish tonight?
284
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,522
Look, Mom,
I don't think you realize
285
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,358
how much we really want
this bike.
286
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,661
I looked over your tax return,
and I think I could save you
287
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,596
about $1,200...
288
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,331
if you make it
worth my while.
289
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,599
No.
290
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,504
You know that dog
that keeps you up every night?
291
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,674
I could take him
for a little... "walk."
292
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,276
No!
293
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,610
I want it! I want it!
294
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,079
I hate you! I want it!
295
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,513
I wish I was dead!
296
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,715
(shrieking)
297
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,518
Detailed information
on every unsolved breakage
298
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,688
or disappearance in this house
for the last two years.
299
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,690
No!
300
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,026
Doing laundry, huh?
301
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,294
Yes, Craig.
302
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,396
Well, don't even think
of doing my stuff.
303
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,799
I'm the only guy
that handles my used underpants,
304
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,633
thank you very much.
305
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,969
Of course, shame
to waste electricity
306
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,405
if you got the room.
307
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,542
Okay, Mom,
we thought about it
308
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,643
and we understand
309
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,879
that you're worried
about us getting hurt,
310
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,447
so we promise we'll
always wear helmets
311
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,615
when we ride the minibike.
312
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,783
And in addition to the helmets,
313
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,218
we'll also wear
elbow and knee pads
314
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,419
no matter how dorky we look.
315
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,822
And we'll only ride it
in the park.
316
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,389
And only under
your supervision
317
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,926
when you say so and
when you're with us.
318
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:39,827
No.
319
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,627
Wait!
320
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,461
No!
321
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,662
This isn't fair!
322
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,164
You don't get
to just say no!
323
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,732
Yes, I do.
No, you don't!
324
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,634
You can't just make
a blanket statement
325
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,302
that covers
everything.
326
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,770
There has to be some scenario
327
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,605
where you'll let us
ride the bike.
328
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,607
I mean, what if I was
a trained athlete
329
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,776
who practiced on a simulator
for 15 years
330
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,612
and wore Kevlar body armor
in a field of marshmallows?
331
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,680
I would still say no.
332
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:01,915
Now stop bothering me.
333
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,016
I don't know, Lois.
334
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,751
The boys sound
pretty reasonable to me.
335
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,019
Stay out of this, Craig.
336
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,988
Hey! I live here, too, don't I?
337
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,823
Sorry, baby.
338
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,959
Mom's just doing this
'cause she can't stand
339
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,861
that we were
actually working together.
340
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,997
I know. Fixing that
bike up was the best
time we ever had.
341
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,431
I never wanted it to end.
342
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,101
Yeah. We were
a perfect team.
343
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,302
We still are.
344
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,471
The three of us,
we're going to work together
345
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,705
and find a way to beat her.
346
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,640
She's going down.
347
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:31,011
Hey... wait a minute.
348
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:39,686
Boys! I need some help!
349
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:40,988
Oh.
350
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,890
What's this?
351
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,893
Looks like a picture
of you on a horse.
352
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,727
What were you,
about Dewey's age?
353
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,332
What are you doing with this?
354
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,401
This looks
awfully dangerous.
355
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,635
Look at that.
356
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,504
No padding, no helmet.
357
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,139
Did you ever fall?
358
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,540
What does this
have to do with...?
359
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,076
We're asking the questions.
360
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,244
MALCOLM:
So, according
361
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,478
to your logic,
362
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,014
a two-foot fall
from a minibike
363
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,049
is more dangerous
than a six-foot fall
364
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,317
from a galloping horse?
365
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,852
That was a long time ago.
366
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,522
Before gravity?
367
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,757
I don't have time for this
right now.
368
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,326
I have to get ready...
369
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,529
I have to go to work.
370
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,663
Did you see that?
371
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,398
We totally rattled her!
Yeah!
372
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,533
We did it!
373
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,700
It worked!
374
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:28,735
We've got Mom!
375
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,903
What?
376
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,104
There's a chink in the armor!
377
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,239
We're going to do it!
378
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,174
If we just play it cool,
have a little patience,
379
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,076
we'll have the minibike
by the end of the week!
380
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,044
No, we won't.
381
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,111
It's broken.
382
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,546
What?
383
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,281
I snuck it out
for a ride.
384
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,782
And you know what?
385
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,217
They are dangerous.
386
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,123
You think Mom will notice?
387
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,765
You moron! Do you have any idea
what you've done?
388
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,367
We were so close!
We had her!
389
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,534
That's what I figured.
390
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,070
I wouldn't have taken it
otherwise.
391
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,137
I'm not an idiot.
392
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,539
I can't believe you would...
393
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,740
How was it?
394
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:08,708
It was awesome.
395
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,143
I looked really cool doing it.
396
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,245
I could see my reflection
in the car windows
397
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,913
right up until I hit
the mailbox.
398
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,417
Sometimes you just
embarrass me.
399
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,919
It's okay.
Mom doesn't have to find out.
400
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,221
I'll be fine.
401
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,589
My leg's really
starting to feel better.
402
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,392
Let's see it.
Ow!
403
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,294
(knock on door)
Hi, Mom!
Hello.
404
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,996
Look, boys,
I was thinking about it,
405
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,598
and, uh, you're old enough
to deserve an explanation.
406
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:32,932
I was...
407
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,634
You don't always know
what's best for us!
408
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,503
You don't know
that we would have gotten hurt!
409
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:37,804
There's such a thing as trust!
410
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,239
I really think we've earned it!
411
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,408
Reese, I'm not saying
that I...
I don't have
412
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,742
to sit here and listen to this!
413
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,444
Yes, you do.
Oh, right.
414
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,246
Look, I'll tell you what.
415
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,847
How about I take you to the
skateboard park tonight, huh?
416
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,149
How does that sound?
417
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,584
Actually, I'm
pretty tired.
418
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,187
Me, too, and I think
I really want to get a jump
419
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,588
on next week's homework.
420
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,757
What's going on?
421
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,925
You guys are...
422
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,427
CRAIG:
Lois! Lois!
423
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,429
Oh, for God's sake!
424
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,131
What is it now?
425
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,533
What's the matter, Craig?
426
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,302
What does it say
on this jar?
427
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,670
"Craig."
428
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,805
Well, I'm glad someone
around here can read.
429
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,841
These jars come
with 14 pickles in them.
430
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,943
I had three yesterday,
two for lunch today
431
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,511
and one-and-a-half
for a snack,
432
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,781
and now there are six-and-a-half
pickles in this jar!
433
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,316
Simple math indicates...
434
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,218
Are you counting the one
in your hand?
435
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,655
Okay, false alarm.
436
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,426
We burned his house down.
We burned his house down.
437
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,301
Oh, th is the guy.
438
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,302
This is Francis.
439
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,636
What I want to know is,
440
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,837
how did you get the cow
441
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,506
onto the roof
of the gymnasium
442
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,674
in the first place?
443
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,675
Ah, that was easy.
444
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,177
The parachute was the problem.
445
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,544
Did you know
those things don't open
446
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,580
unless you're thousands of feet
in the air?
447
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,348
You live, you learn.
448
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,683
Did I ever tell you about that?
449
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,151
No.
450
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,687
Look at this: archery,
debating, field hockey...
451
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,555
Look at all these
clubs and teams,
452
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,191
and you're not
in any of them.
453
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,925
There isn't even
a picture of you
in the yearbook.
454
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,028
Look under Pete Zahut.
455
00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:11,330
I don't want to look
under Pete Zahut.
456
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,999
No, no, no, if you say it
fast, it sounds like...
457
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,101
I don't believe this.
458
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:17,204
Francis... don't you
care about anything?
459
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,238
What?
460
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,440
In a school filled
with problem children,
461
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,709
you're the worst one here.
462
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,045
Wait, that's not true.
463
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,547
I can think of
three other guys
464
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:29,116
with longer records
than I have.
465
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,717
We have worked
and we've worked,
466
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,120
trying anything we can think of
to turn you around,
467
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,122
but nothing seems
to get through to you.
468
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,856
Come on, Dad.
469
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,592
No. You don't give a damn
about anything but yourself!
470
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,928
And, Francis, I don't like
saying these things,
471
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,463
but what am I supposed to do?
472
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,798
I-I feel like I have
to give up on my own son.
473
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:46,866
Dad...
474
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,337
You know, I can't even
look at you right now.
475
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,807
I don't remember
if we're hating each other
476
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,144
or liking each other,
but either way
477
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,378
I appreciate this.
478
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,046
Ah, it's been
two hours, Reese.
479
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,648
The swelling
isn't going down.
480
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,450
Look, you can see
his heartbeat.
481
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,219
Oh, man. We really
need to get you
to the hospital.
482
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,988
We can't! Mom will kill us
if she finds out about the bike.
483
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,423
This isn't about the bike!
484
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,325
We're screwed
for the next five years
485
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,493
on anything we'd like to do.
486
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,061
(ice clatters)
487
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,430
There's got to be some way
we can get you to the hospital
488
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,631
before she finds out.
489
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,300
Then we could come up
with a cover story.
490
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,235
Could you handle that?
Because I'm going to scream
491
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,936
into my pillow
for the next five minutes.
492
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,507
There's got to be some way
we can do this.
493
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,376
Have you seen
Jellybean's sweater?
494
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,780
I don't know why we have to go
all the way across town.
495
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,114
Seems kind of silly.
496
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,917
Craig, I promise,
it's the best ice cream in town.
497
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,119
Yeah, well, I'll be
the judge of that.
498
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,189
(thud)
499
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,356
What was that?
500
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,525
REESE:
Ow!
501
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,693
Ow, my leg!
502
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,928
Ow. Ow.
503
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,431
Ow! Ow! Ow!
504
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,932
Ow!
505
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,934
Oh, my God! What did
I do? What did I do?
506
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,269
You ran over his leg!
507
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,704
(screaming continues)
508
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,871
What happened?
509
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,007
Oh, my God! Reese!
510
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,309
Ow!
511
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,910
Ow!
512
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,549
Oh, for God's sakes, Jonathan,
pull yourself together.
513
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,651
He'll be home
for your birthday.
514
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,322
You got a problem?
515
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,464
An untucked
516
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,532
shirttail, Cadet?
517
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,534
Is that what we teach you here?
518
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,168
To disgrace your uniform?
519
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,970
I think not.
520
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,239
Sir, his shirt
just came untucked
521
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,073
when he was hugging
his father.
522
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,074
You can't
yell at him
523
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,243
for hugging his father.
524
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,710
Francis...
No.
525
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,879
No, I'm glad you saw this.
526
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,181
This is exactly
what I was talking about.
527
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,917
Always undermining my authority.
528
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,654
Day in, day out,
it's the same thing.
529
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,491
Like when I had Cadet Dooley
run 600 laps of the perimeter
530
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,993
for an inside-out
pillowcase violation,
531
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,363
Francis organizes
a sit-in.
532
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,231
Or when I cut off
the electricity
533
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:01,033
to the fifth floor
for a contraband boom box,
534
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,402
he hijacks a generator
535
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,903
for them.
536
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:07,039
The boy lives to cause chaos.
537
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,841
He was hugging his dad!
538
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,710
In front of his own father,
539
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,179
he still defies me
at every turn.
540
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,947
And every time something
like that happens,
541
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,182
he challenges you?
542
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,350
Every time.
543
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,352
Even when he knows
he'll get in trouble?
544
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,121
That doesn't seem
to matter to him at all.
545
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,925
I understand.
546
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:30,297
I will deal with you later.
547
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,964
Look, Dad,
I just want to...
548
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,900
Shut up, son.
549
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,304
Oh, come here.
550
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,505
(laughing)
551
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,243
I can't believe
that plan actually worked.
552
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,413
We came up with it
in, like, two seconds.
553
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,548
Maybe we should do
more things half-assed.
554
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,949
Hey, Reese,
how's your leg?
555
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,150
Not bad.
556
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,985
The pain goes away
when I black out.
557
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,421
You guys want anything to drink?
558
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,588
Sure.
Great.
All right.
559
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:56,823
One more thing.
560
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,592
Did you really think
I wouldn't notice
561
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:03,162
a busted up minibike
half-buried in the sandbox?
562
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,766
Jellybean and I
are leaving now.
563
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,234
Once again, I'm very sorry.
564
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,603
I can't even look you people
in the eye.
565
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:17,510
I think we'll call this one
a wash.
566
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,184
I love you, Francis.
567
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,619
Good-bye.
568
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,054
Love you, too, Dad.
36482
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