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1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:05,673
(vacuum cleaner whirring)
2
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,346
LOIS:
Hal?
3
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,884
Are you smoking again?
4
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:17,985
No!
5
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,387
I am cleaning.
6
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,155
Do you smell smoke?
No, but I...
7
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,157
No, Lois, if I wanted
to smoke a cigar
8
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,858
I wouldn't be sneaking around
9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,227
like a scared little
schoolboy.
10
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,363
I would do it
out in the open like a man.
11
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,070
That was our third shop vac.
12
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,839
That is our last shop vac.
13
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,510
* Yes, no, maybe
14
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,912
* I don't know
15
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:48,182
* Can you repeat the question?
16
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,351
* You're not the boss
of me now *
17
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,886
* You're not
the boss of me now *
18
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,223
* You're not the boss
of me now *
19
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,358
* And you're not so big
20
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,560
* You're not the boss
of me now *
21
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,862
* You're not
the boss of me now *
22
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,098
* You're not the boss
of me now *
23
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:07,135
* And you're not so big
24
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:11,605
* Life is unfair.
25
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,245
LOIS:
Francis, I don't want to hear
26
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,379
another argument about it.
27
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,748
You are going to fix
the roof.
28
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,383
That is totally unfair!
29
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,717
I come home
from school and
30
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:24,985
you immediately
put me to work.
31
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,053
Well, someone has to do it,
32
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,156
and you know your father
is terrified of heights.
33
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,890
He is not terrified!
34
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,559
The last time
he changed a lightbulb,
35
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,294
we had to talk him down
from the table.
36
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,062
You are going to do this.
37
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,298
Why don't you just put
a choke chain around my neck
38
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,200
and make me sleep
in the garage?!
39
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,504
This is what we call
a "level four" rage.
40
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,140
The only way not to get nailed
is to make no sudden moves
41
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:49,943
and avoid eye contact
at all costs.
42
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,480
(spoon clatters
on bowl)
43
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:55,916
And you...
44
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,252
You think just because
you hide the note,
45
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,288
the parent-teacher meeting
will just go away?
46
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,323
Mom, Mr. Woodward
is totally out to get me.
47
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,857
Every teacher
since kindergarten
48
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:04,858
has been out to get you.
49
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,727
I know. It upsets me, too.
50
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,862
(sniffs)
51
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,883
(Hal whistling)
52
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:33,454
Why is the drain
still clogged?
53
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,124
(stammering)
54
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,327
Uh, honey, there was
a, you know...
55
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,028
I was only seconds away from...
56
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,230
It's a funny thing,
see...
57
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,465
Oh, what a mess!
Look at that!
58
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:48,168
That is a milk ring
on the table.
59
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:54,642
Reese is still searching
for academic truth.
60
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,311
His...
61
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,147
focus is diffuse.
62
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,383
His initiative
is waning, and...
63
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,486
it's preventing
his full potentiation.
64
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,188
What?
65
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:12,360
To put it simply,
Reese isn't self-actualized.
66
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,194
Look, maybe I could
just give you a topic
67
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,330
and you could tell
us "good" or "bad."
68
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,565
That would help
us here.
69
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,168
Reese is flunking
almost every subject,
70
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,170
and I'm going to recommend
71
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,839
that he be moved
into the remedial class.
72
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,675
And that's
a euphemism for...
73
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,410
The remedial class.
74
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,044
(laughs)
75
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:35,182
No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
76
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,050
No, n that is
not an option.
77
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,252
We'll get him
to buckle down.
78
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,420
I hope it's that simple.
79
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,854
Reese will get
back on track.
80
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,423
We'll see to it
if it kills him.
81
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,426
I'm glad to see
your level of commitment.
82
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,761
I'm really happy we had
this chance to talk.
83
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,931
So we can go now.
84
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,533
I don't want to hear
any excuses.
85
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,034
You will sit down every night
86
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,136
and work
until those grades are up.
87
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,538
Why do I have to tutor him?
88
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,372
Because
89
00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,640
God gave you a giant brain.
90
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,541
Blame him.
91
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,410
Reese screws up,
and I get punished for it?
92
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,644
Where's the logic
in that?
93
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,414
Malcolm, I have zero tolerance
on this one.
94
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,383
Finally, Mom found
the courage to
speak her mind.
95
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,752
Why aren't you fixing that roof?
96
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,054
It's 40 degrees out there.
I'll freeze.
97
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,222
And it's going to rain.
98
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,890
That's why you have to fix
the roof.
99
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,125
Well, maybe if you didn't buy
such crappy shingles,
100
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,394
it wouldn't leak all the time.
101
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,296
Francis, as long as you are
in this house,
102
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,231
you will do as I say.
103
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,733
You know what, Mom?
104
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,500
No.
105
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:30,137
I'm too old to be
bullied by you.
106
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,805
Our whole lives,
you have done nothing
107
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,408
but dictate what
you wanted.
108
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,909
You're the boss
of the world,
109
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,144
and we're all
sick of it.
110
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,080
This may be your roof,
but we live here, too.
111
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,248
We are human beings
112
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,083
with rights, and I'm hereby
putting an end
113
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,485
to your reign of terror.
114
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,286
You should have seen
the look on her face.
115
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,588
It was totally
worth it.
116
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,257
Sounds like
you-you've had it rough.
117
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,360
Oh, man, you have no idea.
118
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,596
Thanks.
119
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,831
I've got a place
near the bus station.
120
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:01,101
It's warm and fairly dry.
121
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,170
You can stay there
for a while.
122
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,272
If-if you want to.
123
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,774
You'd do that for me?
124
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,775
It's a tough world.
125
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,011
We've got to look out
for each other.
126
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,381
Thanks.
127
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,652
Richie!
Dude!
128
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,320
I heard your mom kicked you out.
129
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,555
You want to stay at my place?
130
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,391
You are a lifesaver!
131
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,725
Could you give me a lift to...
132
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,495
Sorry, man. We're
going the other way.
133
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,835
Hi.
134
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,470
Why aren't you flying?
135
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,972
My name is Dewey.
136
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,208
Good to meet you, Tony.
137
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,643
Want to play?
138
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,945
Okay, but I get to be
the red team.
139
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,316
Look, I don't like this
any better than you do.
140
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,818
Let's just get
it over with.
141
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,186
Dude, this book's
totally wrecked.
142
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,321
What did you
do to it?
143
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,489
I threw it at a duck.
144
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:58,058
Well, where's
your math book?
145
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,259
Which half?
146
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,094
We'll just start
with geography, then.
147
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:02,162
I don't take geography!
148
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,163
Yes, you do.
149
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,265
You got a grade in it.
150
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,635
Oh, that can't be good.
151
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,504
Mi casa es su casa.
152
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,673
This may be
my parents' house,
153
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,907
but, dude...
154
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,943
down here,
anything goes.
155
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,878
Oh! What is that smell?
156
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,246
It could be
the laundry.
157
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,014
It could be
the mildew.
158
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,416
It could be
that rat I shot.
159
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,251
I think I wounded it.
160
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,386
It probably crawled
into a hole in the wall
161
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,256
to die or something.
162
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,257
What's this?
163
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,693
It's your bed.
You got to blow it up.
164
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,362
(television
playing softly)
165
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:39,232
Welcome to Chez Richie.
166
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:44,371
Rule number one:
there are no rules.
167
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,909
Rule number two:
no shoes on the sofa.
168
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,986
It is so real.
169
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,929
Come on. What's the answer?
170
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,631
You can do this.
171
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:25,278
We've gone over this
a thousand times.
172
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,114
You have to carry the tenths.
173
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,181
Tenths have to go someplace.
174
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,518
Tenths don't just float around.
175
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,585
Get smarter already!
176
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,655
Think. Make your brain work.
177
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,924
I could be outside doing
anything other than this.
178
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,259
But, no. I'm stuck in here
babysitting this...
179
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,428
4.2.
180
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,430
That's right.
181
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,298
I mean...
182
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,267
I actually understand this.
183
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,937
The tenths have to go someplace.
184
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,640
Great. Let's move on
to the next one.
185
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:03,150
(hammering)
186
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,390
(sighs)
187
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,627
Hal! Come down from there!
188
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,195
(high-pitched voice):
Hi, honey.
189
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,197
What do you think
you're doing?
190
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,533
Oh, just... fixing
the shingles.
191
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,168
Francis has responsibilities.
192
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,970
You can't keep covering for him.
193
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,237
This is not about him.
194
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,806
It's about me.
195
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,708
I just wanted to get
some fresh air and...
196
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,510
the view from up here is...
197
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,044
is incredible.
198
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:36,183
Did you ever think
that I might be
enjoying myself?
199
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,318
(screaming hysterically)
200
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,655
I spent two days on it.
201
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,191
There was even a paragraph
that I thought really sucked
202
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,993
so I went back and rewrote it.
203
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,728
Malcolm, I'd never
done that before,
204
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,063
but last night...
I mean, look at me.
205
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:53,000
I'm going on and on
while you're sitting
here trying to read.
206
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,101
How's the grammar?
207
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,103
Never mind.
208
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,205
Reese...
209
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,609
This is C-minus work.
210
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,176
All right!
Nice job!
211
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,912
You're not just saying that?
212
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,214
No. This is seriously the best
work I've ever seen you do.
213
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,215
Yes! That's great!
214
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,850
I couldn't have done it
without you!
215
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,918
Thanks, Malcolm.
216
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,720
BOTH:
Ew!
217
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,190
I kicked your ass!
218
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,558
LOIS:
You got another "F"!
219
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,893
Mom, I read that paper.
220
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,762
It's not an "F"!
Then what is this?
221
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,597
We've been studying
four hours a night.
222
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:24,865
Well, guess what.
It's not enough.
223
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,433
You're going to study
eight hours a night
224
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,068
if that's what it takes
to get your grades up,
225
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,703
and that's what
you're going to do.
But, Mom...
226
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:30,871
I don't see a mother here.
227
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,606
All I see is a warden
with two prisoners
228
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,741
who are out of their cell.
229
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,042
Now get back in there!
230
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,879
HAL:
Oh, oh, oh!
231
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,580
Not like this.
232
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,415
(screaming)
233
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,752
I'm okay! I'm okay!
234
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,060
Okay, you know what?
235
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,762
It's freezing, but
I don't need heat
236
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,296
'cause I got
justice on my side.
237
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,430
Mom will cave.
238
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,565
She'll cave.
239
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,768
It's going to
be so sweet.
240
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,169
(grunts)
241
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,905
Could you do that in
the bathroom, Richie?
242
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,141
Dude, no one's going in there
for at least six hours.
243
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:11,478
Well, then, could you do it
over a wastebasket or something?
244
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,847
And can we cool it
on the porno for,
like, five minutes?
245
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,783
Yeah. When this is over,
I'll just pop in
246
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,117
Sluts of the Big Ten.
247
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,919
No. No more porn.
248
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,120
Dude...
249
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,289
that's a documentary.
250
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,325
Ow!
251
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,094
God, my eye!
252
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,096
Hey, try to find
that toenail, Francis.
253
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,364
It is so creepy
to step on those things.
254
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,599
Ow!
255
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,634
Come on, Reese, the
test is in two hours!
256
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,836
This is too much, Malcolm.
257
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,304
I'll never pass this thing.
258
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,940
There's 30 true-false
questions and five essays.
259
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,874
It's impossible.
260
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,475
So, Reese,
today's the big test?
261
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,277
What do you have to get
on this thing
262
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,213
to say out of remedial class?
263
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,315
A "B."
264
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,382
(laughter)
265
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,184
No, guys, he's serious.
266
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:54,554
But you're... an idiot.
267
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,223
You're right.
268
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,159
Yeah. The only way
this idiot's going
to pass the test
269
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,561
is if somebody else
takes it for the idiot.
270
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,330
Right, idiot?
271
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,631
Stevie set the precedent!
272
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,799
You had a chance
for rebuttal,
273
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:06,834
but since you
didn't answer
274
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,035
you waived your right!
275
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,636
Therefore, it's an
agreed-upon term!
276
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,705
What am I going to do?
277
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,707
I can't get put in
the remedial class.
278
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,408
They walk to
the cafeteria
279
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,010
holding each other's belts.
280
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,078
Unless...
281
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,312
maybe Lloyd's right.
282
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,515
Maybe someone should
take the test for you.
283
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,684
You mean cheat?
284
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,652
We can't cheat.
285
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,087
Mom will kill us.
286
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,088
And it's wrong.
287
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,058
But more importantly,
Mom would kill us!
288
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,993
Hey, we're out
of options here, Reese.
289
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,328
You're going to get caught.
No, we're not.
290
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,196
And you know why?
291
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,398
Because we have four
brilliant minds here
292
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:39,733
to help plan this out.
293
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,601
You had to appeal to my vanity,
didn't you?
294
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:42,702
I'm in.
295
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,404
I'm sorry,
but I am honor-bound
296
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:47,775
to report this conversation
to the vice-principal.
297
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,609
Then we're
honor-bound to report
298
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,678
you still sleep
with an Elmo blankie.
299
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,113
Okay, I'm in.
300
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,861
We, uh...
here's the VCR you ordered.
301
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,429
I didn't order a VCR.
302
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,563
Yes, you did!
303
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,865
Feel free to call and verify.
304
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,400
I know the extension number.
305
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,068
There's someone there right now.
306
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:15,803
That won't be...
307
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:16,937
Or you can take a look
308
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,105
at this A/V
equipment schedule.
309
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,540
Your name and class hour's
right here on page seven
310
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,608
in nonstudent handwriting.
311
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,743
WOODWARD:
All right.
312
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,078
Go ahead and leave it.
313
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,713
Okay.
314
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,715
No, no, you said
you didn't order a cart
315
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,050
so you're not going to get one.
316
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,953
We'll just be leaving and
pushing this out the door.
317
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,823
Ah, here it is!
318
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,273
Hey, watch out!
319
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,977
Be... the cannonball.
320
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,583
Are you all right?
321
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,887
Way to go... hot rod!
322
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,337
(coughing)
323
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,958
Okay, well, there's the rat.
324
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,794
No, Tony, that's not fair.
325
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,664
Today it's my cartoons
before school
326
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,801
and your cartoons after school.
327
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,137
Fine, Tony, be that way.
328
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:01,041
I don't want to be
your friend anyway.
329
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,817
Tony!
330
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,086
I can't stay mad at you either.
331
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,854
Hey...
332
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,757
Did you get that
history test back yet?
333
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:18,992
Not yet.
No, haven't seen it.
334
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,129
You both better
pray for a "B."
335
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,732
Hey, did Francis call
you at work yet?
336
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,734
No. No, I haven't talked to him
since he...
337
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,702
He thinks he's making
some kind of point
338
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:30,938
by cutting off all contact.
339
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,039
You know, he should know.
340
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,240
Till he's ready
to apologize,
341
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,774
there's really no
reason to call.
342
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,443
I can't wait to see
the look on his face
343
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,711
when he realizes that
we have figured him out.
344
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,681
Ah! What have we
to figure out, dear?
345
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,350
That I'm in it
for the long haul.
346
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,684
He should know
347
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,353
I am prepared
to go the distance!
348
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,522
You know, I think he likes
tomatoes on his sandwich.
349
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,690
Other bag, Hal.
350
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,724
Ah, right. Bye.
351
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:52,859
Bye.
352
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,527
LLOYD:
A masterful "B,"
353
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,695
Malcolm.
354
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,530
I could never dumb
myself down like this.
355
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,865
I find this "F"
356
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,600
very troubling.
357
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,870
Something... stinks.
358
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,538
He knows we cheated!
359
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,775
We're going to have
to start cutting separate deals.
360
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,144
He doesn't know anything,
Dabney.
361
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,480
I'm gonna go talk to him.
362
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,214
Mr. Woodward?
363
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,915
I'm Malcolm,
I'm Reese's brother.
364
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,117
Oh, hi, how are you?
365
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,218
Well, Reese is upset.
366
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,053
He thinks he did
better than an "F"
367
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,221
on his history test.
368
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,656
I read it over,
and I sort of thought...
369
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,757
it wasn't half bad.
370
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,226
Do you think
there's any way
371
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,061
you can maybe
take another look?
372
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:31,064
Malcolm, you should be
commended for your fraternity,
373
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,066
but, uh, the test
deserved an "F."
374
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,435
Mr. Woodward, maybe if you
just looked at it again...
375
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,937
I can't spend a disproportionate
amount of time on Reese.
376
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,406
It's not fair
to the other students.
377
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,608
But he didn't deserve
an "F" on this.
378
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,177
Look, Malcolm, I-I've been
a teacher for a long time
379
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,346
and, uh, I think I know
what Reese is capable of.
380
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,148
I really don't think
you do, because...
381
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:51,318
Look, you may not want
to hear this about your brother,
382
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,287
but I've known kids like Reese
my whole life.
383
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,122
They're the ones
384
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,323
who throw water at you
385
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,091
so it looks like
you wet your pants.
386
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,459
They aim for your legs
387
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,460
in dodgeball,
388
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,030
and you fall down
and you break your jaw
389
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,365
and you need to have
your mouth wired shut
390
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,267
and your teeth
don't set properly.
391
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,469
And you spend six years
in orthodontia
392
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,339
with the most painfully
embarrassing headgear
393
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,506
ever designed,
394
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:20,780
which is only because they
don't feel fully actualized.
395
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,815
That guy's totally
out to get you.
396
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,218
Man! I was just using that
as an excuse.
397
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,554
He is so dead
when Mom finds out!
398
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:28,955
Reese, we can't bust him.
399
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,823
If we rat him out,
then Mom will know
400
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,560
we cheated.
401
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,728
We're doomed.
402
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,630
KIDS (chanting):
Two is after one.
403
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,567
Three is after two.
404
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,236
Four is after three.
405
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:48,541
Something is after something
406
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,677
and then we get
to ten!
407
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,846
(footsteps on stairs)
408
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,682
Good lord!
FRANCIS:
Thank God
you're here!
409
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,017
I was afraid you weren't going
to get my message at work.
410
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,252
What happened
to your eye...?
411
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,987
Hey, how do you guys want
your burgers?
412
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,055
Just a sec, man.
413
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,356
All right, so
I got it all worked out.
414
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,724
You tell Mom that you need me
to repair the lawnmower,
415
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:06,992
and then I hang out
and I just...
416
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,162
No, no, I-I'm just not going
to do that, Francis.
417
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,097
Hey, you
guys better
418
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,198
figure it out quick.
419
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,165
This cheap-ass trash can's
melting.
420
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,834
Well, maybe you could
talk to her then?
421
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,237
Just calm her down
so that I could come
home, maybe today even?
422
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,739
Francis, you've got to stop
putting me in the middle!
423
00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,273
What, you're just going to let
her win this round, too?!
424
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,409
Francis, there is
nothing that I can do.
425
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,042
You know what
the problem is here?
426
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,845
You and your mother
are exactly alike!
427
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:26,945
That's a lie!
428
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,181
That is true!
429
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,183
You're both stubborn
and unwilling to bend.
430
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,851
So, fine, you win!
431
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,019
Congratulations!
432
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,454
This is your prize!
433
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,556
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go.
434
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,426
It smells like something died
in here.
435
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,463
Your father's right, man.
436
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,233
Sometimes you can be
so stupid.
437
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,801
Uh-oh.
438
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,038
WOODWARD:
I'm sorry.
439
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,974
No one wanted it to
turn out this way.
440
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,544
I feel like
I let Reese down.
441
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,379
Just keep moving, Tony.
442
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,548
So where does
this leave us?
443
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,785
I think it's best if we make
the switch as soon as possible.
444
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,555
We need to look at this
445
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,456
as an opportunity.
446
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,359
Big opportunity,
being in the dumb class.
447
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,462
Reese, this isn't
what I wanted,
448
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,797
but you haven't
left us any choice.
449
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,635
Mom, don't do this.
450
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,003
It's not
Reese's fault.
451
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,638
He didn't deserve an "F"
on that test.
452
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,175
Malcolm, we've already
had this discussion.
453
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,076
I saw the test,
he did a good job.
454
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,144
He deserved a "B."
455
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,079
This guy is totally
out to get him.
456
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,080
Malcolm...
457
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,448
Look, I'm sorry
you feel that way,
458
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,684
but you can't blame me
for Reese's shortcomings.
459
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,152
Mom, this is the test.
460
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,420
Take a look
at this question.
461
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,822
"What was the cause
of the Great Depression?"
462
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,157
He put down "Black Thursday."
463
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,425
That's a correct answer.
464
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,194
No, that's only
a partial answer.
465
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,329
To get full credit
he should have included
466
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,198
the vast overproduction
in the U.S.,
467
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,366
protectionism
in the foreign markets....
468
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,301
Overexpansion
of credit
469
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,835
and stock market
speculation?
470
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:56,936
Yes. That would
have been
471
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,371
a complete answer.
472
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,106
Ha! You didn't read
the answer
473
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,941
because that's exactly
what I wrote.
474
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,177
"I" wrote?
475
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,315
The royal "I,"
as in Reese.
476
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,317
Because I think
we can all identify
477
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,118
with what he's going through.
478
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:16,389
You took that test,
didn't you?
479
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,358
You cheated...
480
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,727
You let him cheat for you?
481
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,964
You gave something
he wrote an "F"?!
482
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,566
(thunder crashes)
483
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,335
You a out to get him.
484
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,470
Oh, I can't wait to see you
expelled or disbarred
485
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,738
or whatever it is they do
486
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,307
to creepy little men
who abuse their power.
487
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,309
There is no need
for name-calling.
488
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,145
I suggest we just leave
things as they are...
489
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,413
Oh, I don't think so.
490
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,482
WOODWARD:
Here's the situation:
491
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,650
if you notify the school,
492
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,185
then the school will find out
Malcolm cheated.
493
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,654
He'll be expelled.
494
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,656
Don't you threaten me.
495
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,990
This isn't a threat.
496
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,359
I just don't think
you'd throw away
497
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,927
the son who achieves for...
498
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,729
well, Reese.
499
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,366
You don't think I'd
sacrifice this one?
500
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,934
Let me explain
something to you.
501
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,836
I would sell Malcolm
down the river
502
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,238
in a heartbeat
to save Reese.
503
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:07,006
What?
Malcolm's
gonna be fine
504
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:07,907
no matter what happens.
505
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,175
Maybe he'll have to go
506
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,943
to junior college or
start off blue collar,
507
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,045
but he'll work his way up
to management eventually.
508
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,581
Reese is the one
who needs saving.
509
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,251
I don't believe you.
510
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:23,423
No mother could ever be
that callous to her own son.
511
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,227
Mom, please let me come home!
512
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:31,230
I'm cold and I'm hungry!
513
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,632
Please,
I'll fix the roof!
514
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:36,035
I'll paint the house,
I'll do anything, Mom!
515
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,371
Please, just let me live
indoors, Mom!
516
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,273
Please, I want to be warm again!
517
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,708
Mom, please!
518
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,975
(sobbing)
519
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,979
Maybe we can work something out.
520
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,083
There you go, Tony.
521
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,452
Night-night.
522
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,889
Oh, my God, look at
the size of that thing.
523
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:57,724
(screams)
524
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,925
Dewey, what in the...?
525
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,761
Run, Tony, Run!
526
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,065
Why are they always named Tony?
527
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,734
Bye, Tony.
528
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,703
I love you.
529
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,774
(hammers pounding)
530
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,081
Yeah, it's cold, filthy
and dangerous,
531
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,583
but I say we got off easy.
532
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,185
If we all pitch in,
we should be done in a week.
533
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,254
Hey, hurry up.
534
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,456
I'm trying.
535
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,958
I've got tar in my eyes.
34712
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