Original subtitles

Action.

Fuck, bro.

Dude, you're fucking late. Why?

Dude, I just got off work, man.

What the fuck, bro?

Dude, we've been waiting for you for like fucking 20, 30 minutes.

Oh, I think you've been waiting longer than that, dude.

I have a real job, you know.

God, dude. Like, why are you fucking with me, man?

He's always fucking with me, dude.

Like, I just got off my waiter job, bro. Like, I have to, like, wait on people

and shit, bro.

Dude, you're a fucking mall waiter. So what, dude? Like, I have to get tips

bro. Come on. What?

Okay, what were you doing?

Like, you know, like serving people.

Hold on. I'm good at serving people, bro.

Dude. You work in the fucking food court, dude.

Shut up, bro. Like, it's a job, man.

Pretty cool job.

Yeah, yeah.

Dude, you're a fucking food court waiter.

So what, dude? Like, it's a job, right? Like, I make minimum wage, dude.

I got a minimum wage job. Well, right after I dropped out of high school, bro.

Nah, dude, it's up to like $7 .80 or some shit now, dude.

I think I'm getting a raise next week. How much do you make? Like, I don't

dude. A couple hundred bucks a week.

What do you do?

I don't know.

Wait,

you play video games a lot? Yeah, he's really good at that, dude. I play video

games. It's my roommate, dude.

Dude, your roommate.

What's with this fucking stupid -ass hat? What, dude?

What, dude? I'm the fucking police, bro.

Dude, the police?

Hey, man, like, mall security, bro.

Mall security, dude. Like, after I get off of this job, I go to my day job,

Yeah, what's the day job?

Mall security, bro.

I gotta keep things, like, secure around here.

You know?

All these out -of -control bitches, dude. I'm telling you, like, we got a

right, dude?

We got a team of dumb bitches, dude.

I see your roommate talks a lot.

Yeah, like, I'm not much of a... Tell them your life story, dude. It'll be

pretty quick. It takes, like, two seconds. What's your story?

Tell them you're cool, dude. Just tell them I'm cool. That's your story, dude.

Here, let me get this.

All right.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Good. All right.

What do I know, bro?

What's your name? My name is Alex.

All right. What do you do for work?

I don't really do much, man.

I just like to... All right.

Next. Yeah, right?

That was really interesting, huh? Let me pull back.

All right, tell me about the small security job. All right, dude. Like,

basically, we just bust on people, dude. Like, especially chicks, bro. Like,

it's a way to be scandalous, man. Are you kidding me?

I just go for the fun. Yeah, dude. Like, he's my partner in crime, bro.

His wingman. Yeah.

Like, we're the 5 -0 of mall security, dude.

So you're a waiter and then mall security by night?

That's not even my job. I just do it.

Come on, this is great. Like, are you going to, like, join in with us, right?

Like, do you want to watch this shit? Do you want to watch us? I'll see what you

do. We'll show you how we throw down, dude.

Dude.

Just wait.

Like, we've got to scope out somebody, dude. We've got to scope out a prospect,

dude.

Hey,

dude. Hey, dude. Check that.

See that right there?

Don't be obvious, bro.

Police,

dude.

Please. Watch, dude. I think we'll... Let's find, like, a reason to bust her,

dude. What's she eating, bro?

Like... Alright, check this out. This is what we're gonna do. This is what we're

gonna do.

When she leaves, dude, she probably won't throw her food away, bro.

So we'll bust her for fucking littering.

Littering, dude? Yeah.

Does that work?

Yeah. Like, you're not allowed to litter at the mall, bro.

You know?

We'll make her pursue littering. Is that good?

Just the fact that she's littering, dude. Dude, explain to me what littering

Like... Dude,

look, look, look. Did you see that? Did you see? She just threw her chopsticks

right there, dude. Okay, so that would be littering?

Dude, look at this, bro.

She dropped her chopsticks.

Dude,

she got shit at the table. That would be littering, right?

Go get that shit.

Come on, bro. Dude,

come on.

Ready?

We're going in. Excuse me.

Hey.

All security.

Excuse me.

Dude, check this shit out.

Like, you left this on your table.

Like, you know, they used to litter in the mall.

Did you litter in the mall? I'm going to give you an example, dude, of

littering.

Dude, you're sitting at your table, like, your stuff's just, like, sitting

there, and then you just, like, left.

Alright? Like, you can't do that. You don't have any maids here. There's no

maids in your house.

Come on, let's see some ID.

Like, who are you?

What were you thinking? Like, you just, like, left your shit at the table?

No, I don't know. I think we should, uh, maybe frisk her? Wait, I don't... Wait,

I... Oh, jeez!

That's money!

Ow! My knee!

That's my phone!

Dick! Who are you on the phone with?

Try to get a ride?

Oh.

What is that? What do we have here?

Hey, do you know that it's against the law to... Hold on a second. No, don't

look at us. Don't look at us. Don't look at us.

Hey,

should I test this on her? Hold on a second.

Stay right there.

What the fuck? Oh, I know what this is, bro.

Oh, I know what you came out here to do. Look, look.

Look. Do you know what this is?

Hey, look.

What's this?

Aluminum foil.

No, it's just a pipe, dude.

I think we're going to have to take that into police evidence.

You know that we're police officers, right?

You didn't even have to see a badge, hon.

You let us just, like, put you down here.

Put your hands behind your back. Put your head down.

Don't even look at us.

We're going to have to take this into evidence.

Make sure this is correct stuff.

Wait, what?

It's not mine.

Don't you have to, like, test somebody to see if they're even high or

What are you doing with that?

Look at this, though. Maybe we should book this. Hey, you can't. You can't be

looking. Yeah, we got to make sure that... What is this? What's this green

herbal product in your pocket, dude?

It's medicinal.

Medicinal? I don't see no medicinal cards.

Well, because my wallet's in the car.

Wait. Let me see this.

Do that again. Put that into evidence. Put that into evidence right there. Test

that out real quick. Just make sure. Put that into evidence right there, you

see?

Do we got what we need?

Theology, yeah.

Fucking theology.

You're going straight to jail. Straight to jail.

I didn't think I would know about this.

You know what I mean? I got an idea.

I got an idea.

We're going to arrest you. We're going to call your parents.

You're busted, sweetie.

You're going down.

You're in trouble. Hey, look right there. Did you break my phone? Yeah,

Do you understand that you're under arrest?

You know what's going to happen?

Your parents are going to see this. You're under arrest.

You're going to jail. Your parents are going to see this on TV.

Yes, you're on TV, sweetheart.

Hey, I got an idea.

What? Yep.

No. Marijuana's against the law.

But you can't show this. You have to blur out faces in that.

Nope, because we got the evidence that we need. You blur out faces? And, like,

what is this? What, this is mall cops? This is bullshit.

You know what?

Hey.

What's up?

Nah,

we'll figure it out then. Hold on. Rolling.

Action.

This is what they tell you. Stop being combative.

Wait, I... Is that the right word, dude?

Combative? Yeah.

But I didn't say!

Ow! Stop being combative.

I don't want to either. I'm going to take you out of the cuffs now, okay?

Are you going to be good, though?

All right, so watch this fight.

Watch this.

I'm going to ask you if I'm going to be good. I don't know if this thing works,

dude. I don't think you've seen it that much. Oh, my God. I'm going to be stuck

in this.

Hey, like, don't resist.

I'm not!

All right.

Stop resisting.

Oh, my God!

Hold her.

Just, like,

hold her. Yeah, hold her down.

That's not natural.

So let me, like, give you a few lessons. Let me figure out how this shit works,

dude. Oh, my God.

You don't have to use these very much because, like, most of them are pretty

much, like, easy to deal with.

But this one's been a fighter, bro. I am not!

All right, we're going to have to do a strip search on you. What?

Yeah, because if not, then we're going to have to call your parents and let

know. Oh, I'm single, Gord.

to, uh, did not come pick you up.

There's no female guard. Why didn't there just always be a female guard?

Her arms like this, you know, and then just grab her by the collar.

You know?

And just pull her down.

Okay.

You didn't like that, did you?

No, I didn't. It kind of looks like she liked that a little bit.

Stop resisting.

We're going to help you get out of here.

Hold her.

In case she tries to run.

Are you a runner? No, I'm not going anywhere. Hey, where are you going? Turn

back around.

Just take us off. There should be a female guard.

Just make sure she doesn't have any guns or knives or hand grenades or anything.

My pants!

You know what, dude? Actually, watch out.

Yeah, we're going to do a real strip. See that?

Just take us off.

Hey, hey, hey!

You know what?

We're not trying to get personal with you or anything.

But just want to make sure you don't have anything hidden inside of you.

Hold her.

What the hell did I put inside me?

Stop resisting.

What the fuck did I say?

Maybe you have some more drugs in that side of you.

Hey! No!

You gotta taste it.

Alright, bro, you gotta, like, you gotta use a lot, okay? Okay.

What the fuck are you doing?

Can I go?

No.

What? Come on. All right, help me out.

All right, stop resisting.

Stop fucking resisting.

I'm sure she doesn't have any, like, razor blades in her toes or anything.

Stop eating. We don't really...

All right, cut.

Good job.

Action.

All right, listen to me.

Like, I just need you to cooperate, okay?

And we'll make this really easy on you, and then you won't go to jail, okay?

You're going to put me in jail.

Well... For littering?

Okay, no, no, I don't want to go. I don't want to go to jail. I don't want

to jail. I had to do a bad thing to you in jail.

There's nothing in my jail.

You just, uh...

Cooperate, maybe we can, like, keep this between us.

And... Then we'll let you go.

You know, like, let me tell you something.

You're not following. You're not following?

Okay, maybe it's because you smoke too much weed.

Is that marijuana?

Yeah, it's not good for you. Green stuff you have in your pocket. That was

yours, right?

No! Drugs are bad.

Yeah. You shouldn't do drugs, okay?

They ruin your brain cells.

Yeah, and they don't make you very smart.

Make it kind of slow.

Because if you didn't have drugs in your pocket, you wouldn't have wound up down

here with your clothes off.

Drugs are bad.

Yeah, we have to search you and make sure you don't have any more drugs.

So just say no to drugs. Drugs are bad. Okay, say no to drugs. I learned my

lesson. Slap me on the wrist. Let's go.

Just say no to drugs. Say no to drugs. Okay, done. Just say no. Say no to

Maybe you did too much of it.

She needs to say no to drugs.

Help her out, Alex. Help her. Help her.

Just say no.

Say no.

Say no.

No.

To drugs.

No to drugs. I will never do drugs again.

I will never do drugs again.

Okay. What else do we have?

She can't feel you. I noticed when we were back at the mall handling security

business, we had you on our knees, and you liked being there. I saw it in her

face. Didn't you see it? You saw it, right?

I saw it. In between my complaints? Yeah, back when we were checking in the

evidence, right?

Yeah.

Maybe... Can you get back on your knees for us?

Yeah, get back on your knees. You'll all end up being friends.

That's what I want.

Police. Okay,

I have a suggestion for you.

If you, uh... What?

Take care of some business. We'll just let you sign some paperwork.

Right, cut.

Rolling.

Action.

All right.

Here's the deal.

Um, excuse... Oh.

That's the deal. That's the deal? That's the deal.

Yeah. Come on over here, bro.

See what I'm doing?

Uh -huh.

You're going to do it, too.

That's good.

Yeah, we really don't want to have to tell you what to do.

Huh? No.

We don't want to tell you what to do. Just do it.

I'm not supposed to.

Just do it.

of a police security mall officer.

Mall security?

Mall security, bro.

See what you get for their littering?

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Bye.

It's nothing like it.

It's nothing like it.

Thank you.

me, but look at Danny.

Okay, action.

Okay, I promise I will never do drugs again. Say no. Say no, right?

Yeah, say no.

That's right.

Can I go home?

Not yet.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

yes, baby.

Yes, yes.

No, I'm not okay.

Go ahead, then, slowly.

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, shit, yeah, shit, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My little secret's right. You won't tell my parents.

You won't tell your parents.

No.

Okay, cut.

Okay, rolling.

Action.

Thank you.

Let go! Let go!

Sorry,

bro. I'll keep my dick in her mouth so she can stop talking.

My bad.

What the fuck is this?

Thank you.

I don't know.

Thank you.

We got to clean up.

Good job, guys.

Rolling.

Action.

I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing.

Yeah, I think she's going fucking crazy, bro. I think your guys fucked her

crazy.

Look at that.

My turn.

Action. Give me penetration.

You're not going to do drugs no more? No more drugs.

Good girl. I'll just do cock.

All right.

I guess we could have you sign your paperwork and go home.