Original subtitles

I've been looking all over school for you. Guess what?

I got Daddy's Cadillac for the night in.

Serena, what's wrong?

Johnny.

Johnny?

I got a letter from Johnny, Brenda.

He's alive.

He's coming home.

Holy cow, you're kidding.

No, it's true.

I've been right all along.

Well, what happened to him? Where's he been?

The army says amnesia. He got rolled by a bunch of gooks in the rice paddies one

night. He's been in a monastery all these years.

Wow.

Then one night, not long ago, he was bent down praying, and his cock suddenly

rose up and called to him, Johnny, Johnny!

And he remembered me. He remembered everything.

Wow. When's he coming home?

Oh, soon.

He says his dick is so big and hard he has to wear it in a holster. Oh, Johnny.

He says he's going to come all over me until I'm completely soaked like a

donut. Oh, Johnny.

K -R -U -Z, you're on the air.

Yes, I'm on the air.

And now, K -R -U -Z, The Sound of Cruise

presents The King of Cruisers. That's right, the self -made man.

the man -made legend, Mr.

Mambo Remus.

Hello,

cruisers, losers, lowriders, and linkhorns. Hello, hambones, hopheads,

freaks, punks, geeks, glue -sniffers, and gruntheads, zit -pickers, and shit

-kickers. I'm Mambo Remus, and I'll be with you all afternoon, right through

cruise countdown and on into the night, bopping with you on the Boulevard. So

let's get cooking.

Cruise time, at the sound of the tone, is 3 .30.

And school is out.

Do you know where your children are?

This word just in on the crew's news line.

Babsy Bodine, the notorious Nuthouse Nympho, made a daring break from custody

this afternoon at a local sanitarium.

Babsy, immediately following her escape, wreaked havoc on a nearby wiener stand

where, according to several eyewitnesses, she became sexually

foot -long kraut dog.

I repeat, Babsy Bodine is at large. Citizens are cautioned to lock their

Crush all smokes dead out. Further details on this...

Oh my God.

Got any, uh, weed?

Price on money, cruising time again. Not even dark yet, no ready business to

start. Every brat in town out in that boulevard getting their rocks off for

nothing while we end up in the poorhouse.

How the hell can we compete with all that free pussy?

These brats may be brats, but they ain't no dummies.

I still think we merchants ought to just band together and do something about

these cruisers.

You better, you sweetie patootie.

Hey, hey, hey.

I've got to see some ID.

Hey, what's the matter? You're too young to mess with that stuff.

Hey, put down that big and funny thing. Hey, come back here.

is your prong, presents the nude bake -off.

Now here he is, your lovable master of ceremonies, Monty Ball.

Welcome to the nude bake -off.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Because tonight is our anniversary show,

we brought back last year's champion to face our current champion.

Now, what do you say about us meeting the girls?

Okay, girls, you can come out now.

Last year's champion, a hometown girl, always good for a couple of laps, Miss

Mamie Butch Von Dyke.

Butch is the... president of the local chapter of Women's Live.

Now, now, gents, don't boo Butch.

She set a record last year for cherry pies on one of our shows, making 38 of

them.

Sure must have been making those cherries hard and fast that day, eh,

You should have seen how many cherries I made last night, Buster.

This year's champion, a home economics major from UCLA, little Betty

Boots.

Betty set a record for a date nut cake by making over 43 of them. For how to

crack a lot of nuts, eh, Betty?

Oh, it's all right, Marty. Just blistered my hands a little.

Have that innocent routine, you hoe.

I never.

You never my ass.

Now, now, girls, let's save our energy for the bake -off.

Fuck off, male chauvinist pig.

Today, the girls will be making my favorite banana cream pie.

Now, as you all know, the girl who bakes the most banana cream pies in three

minutes will win the grand prize.

A flight to any city in the good old U .S. of A.

For an all -expense -paid vacation!

Remember, girls, the banana you peel may make you fly!

On your mark, get set...

And he pies.

The self -proclaimed nuthouse nympho allegedly involved in the looting and

pillaging of Trixie's, a downtown massage parlor, stealing an assortment

adult goods with a street value of over $3 ,000.

Rudy Gerber, manager of Trixie's, who had this to say.

Hey,

look, Professor Flitch.

That fucker flunked me last semester. Yeah.

It's my sister.

She's got a thing for these muscle freaks.

Here, change while we listen.

Oh shit.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

is details on Babsy Bodine, the notorious nuthouse nympho.

Well, it seems there are no new details on Babsy Bodine.

She's apparently vanished from the face of the earth. But we'll have more on

this and other top news stories when the cruise news picks up at the top of the

hour. So in the meantime, we're going to cook your goose.

Here, Saria. This will relax you.

I can't believe it.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

A -R -U -Z.

Crazy.

Richie takes X -lax by mistake just before a blind date.

Don't miss the fun tonight on Crappy Days over most of these same stations.

it on yet?

She found it.

up inside of me tonight.

My gears are grinding. My zig is shifting. My crank cases are cranking.

tachometers are rising as the air fills with a sweet scent of exhaust fumes.

Burning rubber.

Squealing brakes.

The boulevards are calling.

Let's scoot the booty -rooty -tooty, baby mama.

Here comes the KRUZ countdown.

Okay. Are you ready?

Can you hear me on the boulevards?

Yeah! Kicking back in the Cadillac.

Ready to play in that cabaret.

Rock!

Getting down on some heavy sound.

Can you hear me down in old skid row?

Are you ready in the chicken coop?

In the temple of God.

Can you hear me, Babsy?

Are you ready, Rudy?

Drop dead.

Are you with me, Mama?

As the sun goes down, we be covering ground.

The night is young and we're tired of losing, so come on, everybody, and live.

Hey, talk on these mamas, whiskey. Come on, man. Do it.

Hey, baby.

Want to get high?

Talk to my agent.

We'll talk on the later, all right? Right on.

Place the male subject in a prone position.

Familiarize yourself with the crotch region and its various features.

Taste the warm stomach and savor the rich layers of rippling belly flesh.

Now lift the male organ. Oh, sweet man. meat.

Notice the striking contours of the instrument.

Introduce yourself.

Touch lightly the ruby red tip.

Kiss it.

Caress it tenderly to your cheek, your lips.

Wink your eye to it like the sweet kiss of the morning butterfly.

We're getting to know each other.

Lash the tip more forcefully now and run your tongue in hot concentric circles

around the perimeter.

then gradually down along the smooth stem.

Savor the delightful bouquet like the squishy raw meat of the mandis queen.

Now prepare to address the entire bulb.

Hello, bulb.

tickle the walls of your throat.

Bear down more firmly.

Clutch the base.

You are in control.

Suck it.

Heave it. Grind on it. Breathe life into man's greatest mystery.

Okay, time to get it up, Max.

That's better.

Take it all the way in.

Eat it.

Gorge yourself. Make a feast of this magnificent meat stick.

Suck him with hard, driving, sensual stroke.

Deep in his loins, thick juices are brewing, percolating, yearning to erupt

like the molten spray of Vesuvius.

The entire room is inflamed by your passion, searing, white -hot.

I can feel it.

Almost melting the record.

And you bear down harder.

A bit faster now.

Drawing pressure on his swelling lotus, you beckon forth his sweet nectar.

Then teasingly force it back down.

You stroke now yet faster, harder.

His passion is unbearable. Your hunger is insatiable.

Oh, yes.

And now even faster.

Faster. Faster.

Faster.

Faster. Faster.

Faster.

Brothers who want to get saved.

Wow. All you guys want to get saved?

Let us all join hands.

No, wait. I said hands.

See,

now at the top of the hour, this is Mambo Rebus.

With a very special surprise dedication.

This one going out to Serena from Johnny.

Hey,

if you're crazy, crazy lovin', baby, if you're crazy lovin' yourself, baby,

well, yeah, don't let nobody else love you, say if you're crazy, crazy lovin'

yourself, baby.

Oh, yeah. Wow.

Because I'm just an easy boy.

Meanwhile, back on the boulevard.

Hey, man, come on, get him, man.

Hey, uh, baby, uh, now that you're all by yourself, you want to get off with

That is no matter for you.

You know that they make their living running

whiskey and pop pills.

We're back in that bad impression.

People are starving everywhere.

What would kill you for a dog?

Sit down and we'll get there.

This is the

Hey, man, come on, man. Come on, man. Come on. Hey, man. No, I had to. Come

man. Come on, man.

Not again. Not again. Come on, man. Well. Oh, man. Well.

Uh.

Bye. Bye, boys.

So, whatever you're looking for in the way of adult thrills, you'll find that

and more at Trixie's Blue Boutique, just off the boulevard at Bowley Pass.

And don't forget to ask Rudy for tonight's special.

Trixies, where tricks aren't always for kids.

Hey, fuck them boulevards, bitches, man. We're going to get us some real snacks.

I don't know about this place, Whitey. Shit, man, my buddy Leroy says he gets

fucked here all the time, man. All the time.

Well, I don't know, man. I guess we'll just have to, well, you know... Wow,

look at that snack meat. I can smell that sir pie all the way through the

How much is that pussy in the window?

Hey, you guys, come over here.

Hey, I'll go check this out, man, okay? Come here.

You guys want to see a good show? You want to see a donkey show?

And Ferdinand and the pretty girl? Man, my dad used to be a donkey show.

Hey,

you hear that, Whiskey?

Five a buck?

Five a buck.

Five bucks? No, five a buck for both of you.

All right.

Come on, here.

Five a buck? Okay. All right. First door to the left.

Man,

I can't see shit. Look in the mirror, partner. You'll see plenty.

Hey, you smell something funny? Just shut up and dig on the show, man.

I can't believe that, man. I know we're looking for a pizza. Hey, boys. Boys.

Hey, boys.

Come here. What do you want this time, huh?

I hate to see you boys get the heat, so I'll tell you what I got for you. No

monkey business.

Sexual intercourse.

Yeah, man. You're going to get screwed. Listen, man.

I don't know. I don't think so well.

Ten of them.

Both of you. Come on. It's good, huh? Well.

Come on. I don't know if I can have one.

Hey, really.

Yeah, well, I can see why. All right. All right. Let's do it. Take it easy,

Yeah.

Now you're talking, man.

That feels so good.

With each inch I expose, makes my already swollen stick grow

harder.

There. Oh, shit. No longer is observing your twin mound sufficient.

Now I must unveil your V -shaped triangle in your buttocks.

How'd you like to unveil my foot up your poop sheet, buddy?

Hey, come on, Whitey. Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, man, lookie here.

Hey, that's not a bad -looking ugly cheese there, man. Yeah, man. Meanwhile,

back on the moonlight.

Are you Z? You're on the air.

I can't go on, and I got this gun here, and I might as well just... I'm sorry,

sir. You're going to have to turn your set down at home. But, Mambo, I got no

reason for living, so I might as well just pack it in and... Sir, you'll have

turn your home set off. We're on a tape delay here.

Mambo, if you can give me one good reason to go on, I might consider it,

Sir, you have to turn it down. How the hell...

Thanks for your touch.

I must begin my descent.

First, pranically sucking on your coral -tipped breath.

Yeah. Hey, man, it's getting better.

Look at that.

I fear for my sanity when your well -trained tongue teases my tingling

If my dog had a head like that, dude, I'd shave his balls and walk him upside

down. Come on, man.

Soon my flicking tongue will be entangled in the black forest of your

hair.

Hurry to my slit and sample the sweet love dew already beginning to pour from

insides.

More,

more. Don't stop.

My cum juice is spilling forth in great surges.

Check it out. Check this shit out.

Get into that stuff, man.

Look at him. He's just slipping away.

That guy couldn't plug a hog's butt on a bacon slab.

I'm standing behind you. My battering ram binds its way in and out of your

cavern of love.

Man, I hope the movie we're in is better than this one.

This feels truly superb.

I must be dreaming.

You're not dreaming.

It's such pleasure possible.

I'm almost out of my mind with ecstasy.

My lust has stemmed me whole.

Beginning to feel the nearness of the culmination of our fairy tale -like

coupling.

No man has ever brought me to this height of excitement.

Let's return to the love tent and finish our unique experience.

Oh, shit, man. Let's just hit the end of the line. Yeah, that's brilliant, son.

Yeah, man. That's enough of this crap. Nothing here, man.

in person. A hell of a crowd brewing here, Mambo. A hell of a crowd.

This is Bob Taffey, Cruise News, at the end of the line, returning you now to

Mambo Remus. Thank you, Bob and Gilly.

Before we wind up here, I'd like to invite everybody to boogie on up to the

of the line and meet us at the Cruise Cookout, right after the show.

One last little surprise.

This one going out to Babsy Bodine, wherever you are. This is Mambo Remus

saying, rock -a -bye.

This is a test. For the next 30 seconds, this station will be conducting a test

of the emergency broadcast system.

This is only a test.

lost the emergency test portion of our program.

Had this been an actual attack, you would have been advised to tune to a

in your area whose emergency alert system is working.

Portions of this test have been pre -recorded.

Last week, Mambo Remus, general manager of KRUC, broadcast an editorial in favor

of keeping the boulevard open for cruising purposes and condemning the

harassment by local law enforcement agencies and citizens groups,

its obligation to present opposing viewpoints from responsible parties.

K -R -U -Z now brings you this rebuttal from Rudy Gerber, local merchant and

manager of Crixie's Blueberry.

You know something, Mambo?

You make me sick.

And if you don't like it, you can suck my dick.

If all our lives were busy trying again...

as many times as you like, but remember, this offer is limited, so act now. No

salesman will visit you when you are under no obligation, but remember, first

come, first served.

And cars continue to prowl in, people from all walks of life. Wombo's expected

to arrive momentarily. I can only describe the scene here as way out.

Oh, that's far out, Wombo. Right, far out. We'll be back after this brief

message. If you are outside our area code, call Collect.

If you have no phone or are unable to call, write. If you are unable to write,

give up. Remember, you must be completely satisfied or we will

any reduced portion of your money.

And I can only repeat, whoever you are, whatever you're doing, you've still got

time to make tracks right on down to the end of the line where the all -star

cruise cookout is about to begin.

And remember, you are under no obligation, but this offer is limited,

now. Just listen to others who have tried it.

The place is packed and this crowd is going ape. Only a few stragglers still

cruising the once crowded boulevard at this late hour.

Fancy Bodine down there. I'm leaning out the side here for a closer look. Holy

Toledo, he's headed straight for the cruise cookout. I'm leaning a little

further here.

Steady, Gilly.

rustle up our saxophone player.

We're going to be getting down on some heavy sound.

Come on, horn player.

Come on, sax man. Come on, man. You're so slow.

Are you cruisers ready to cook tonight?

All right.

I'm going to scoot the boot of Rudy Judy, baby mama.

Yes, yes.

Okay. Where is that son of a bitch anyway?

Hey, man, I can't get it. What the dude, man? Let's cook.

Yes, you should already love this game, my brother.

beat and you've got the feet. So let's see some boot scooting for Roland Collin

Winsky.

... ... ...

... ... ...

But I've got a real mama, real mama.

© BF

-WATCH TV 2021

We'll be

right

back.

She's a hobby.

I got a Birmingham mama, like out of Alabama, who's going to love me.

I got a Birmingham mama, like out of Alabama, who's going to love me.

Thank you.

We'll be right

back.

Got a hop, hop, hop, one hip to it. It sure looks good to me.

I'm hip.