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♪ Get off your sled and go to bed ♪

♪ Don't you ever tire? ♪

♪ Throw a bone, I'm finally home ♪

♪ curled up by the fire ♪

♪ Snow is falling from the sky ♪

♪ like ashes from an urn ♪

♪ Sweet dreams, my little one ♪

♪ Now it's my turn ♪

♪ Well, Christmas is going to the dogs ♪

♪ We'd rather have chew toys than Yule logs ♪

♪ And things aren't looking very good, it's true ♪

♪ So I'll just lay here and chew ♪

♪ Now, when I sleep, I like to dream ♪

- ♪ of rabbits in the snow ♪ - Merry Christmas.

♪ Jumping right into my jaws ♪

- ♪ from their rabbit hole ♪ - Hi!

♪ Take one home and set him down ♪

♪ right next to your shoes ♪

♪ Wake up to a big surprise ♪

♪ My gift to you ♪

♪ And Christmas is going to the dogs ♪

♪ We'd rather have chew toys than Yule logs ♪

♪ And things aren't looking very good, it's true ♪

♪ So I'll just lay here and chew ♪

♪ And Christmas is going to the dogs ♪

♪ We're scarfing down the turkey...

Let's take a look at the holiday forecast.

Eleven and a half inches

hit Downtown Boston last night.

Looks like it's going to be a very white Christmas.

Better gas up those snowblowers because there's more on the way.

♪ So I'll just stay here and chew ♪

Ugh.

Come on, help me out here, Merv.

Wh-Where's your other bootie?

Fine. We'll just MacGyver it.

Merv, come on.

Come on, bud, please.

I know, Merv.

It sucks for me, too, okay?

All right, buddy. In you go.

Merv, go on.

I'll see you next week.

I love you, bud.

Go on. Good boy.

Hi, Mervy. Hi, buddy.

Good boy.

Stay.

Yeah. Hi, buddy.

I missed you.

Ugh.

Worst MacGyver ever.

Let's get you fixed up, okay?

Come on.

How's that feel?

Yeah.

That feel... feel nice?

Okay, Merv.

I have something to tell you.

Look at me.

The thing is...

me and Russ...

Oh, no.

He's not here.

And he's not gonna be.

I miss him, too, but it was too hard.

I know it's hard, buddy.

You're gonna be okay.

All right.

High five. Yeah.

♪ You and me belong together ♪

♪ like cold iced tea and warmer weather ♪

♪ Where we lay out late underneath the pines ♪

♪ and we still have fun when the sun won't shine ♪

♪ You and me belong together ♪

♪ all the time ♪

He's the best one.

And he's coming home with us.

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

Oh.

Christmassy.

- Mm-hmm. - Too much?

Uh, I'm pretty certain people like holiday spirit.

On your bed.

On your bed.

Aw.

- What's up with him? - I don't know.

He's just been so tired lately.

You're okay, right, buddy?

Plus, I got him some new snacks.

Oh, no. Not the snacks.

Please tell me they aren't the dried bull penis things again.

They're his favorite.

Plus the pig snouts and the dried sardines,

which make his coat all nice and shiny.

Okay, it's no wonder you're not dating, because you're literally just

walking around with dried fish in your purse.

I'm not dating because I don't want to date.

Okay, come on. It's been six months.

And... you're lonely.

- I'm not. - Yeah.

No. Just 'cause I'm single doesn't mean I'm lonely.

Don't be that girl.

Okay, but I am that girl, and you won't be

when you meet the stud that is "Mr. Lover Lover 101,"

who might have just sent you a winky emoji on Hinge.

I'm not on Hinge.

That's what you think. I signed you up.

You're welcome. No, it's too late.

Plus, you better get in there because Mrs. Mabachas is waiting.

You left Mrs. Mabachas alone in my room?

You're welcome.

My tía Gabriela, my tía Juliana,

my tía Francisca, my tía Adriana and my other tía Adriana.

My tía Sofia, my tía Daniela and my tía Gloria.

Is that everyone, Bonnie?

- Oh. And me, Bonnie. - Great. Well done.

Okay, big hand for Bonnie, guys.

It's a real aunt farm you have there.

Well done, everyone.

I learned so much about your families.

- Yes, Shauna. - Where's your family tree?

Mine?

Oh, I didn't... I didn't do one.

Aw.

All right, all right.

Well, it's not very interesting, but very quickly...

Granny Jess, Grandpa Michael, Grandpa Matt, Granny Amy.

They had my dad Jack.

And they had my mom MJ.

And they had me, Mr. Owens.

Oh, and, uh, who's that?

- Merv. - Exactly.

- Wait, wait, wait. - So, what--

That's it?

Don't you have a wife or something?

A wife?

Um...

no, I guess I don't.

My cousin says you're dating her eye doctor.

Well, I'm not sure how your cousin would know that.

She has glaucoma.

Oh, right. Sorry.

- So, are you dating her or what? - No, I'm not dating her.

I was, um, but I'm not anymore.

- Why not? - Anyway...

Well, now, Shauna, that's one of those personal questions

we talked about, remember?

Did she run off with your best friend? That happened to my tía Juliana.

Nope, she didn't run off with my best friend.

Let's--

Is it because you still like dinosaurs?

No, it's not 'cause I still like dinos--

What--

Excuse me, dinosaurs are educational, they are cool,

and it's not because I still like dinosaurs.

Are there any more questions?

Don't you want any kids?

- Mr. Owens? - Are you too old to have kids?

Let's just do some independent reading, shall we?

So tell me if this is better...

one or better two?

- They're both blurry. - Okay.

How about now?

Neither one.

Mrs. Mabachas.

- Mm-hmm? - You have my stapler

and my snowman pen in your bag.

Mrs. Mabachas.

How was Norway?

- What? - You were telling me

that you and your boyfriend, you were planning that vacation.

- Yeah, we didn't end up going. - Oh, honey, that is too bad.

He was so good-looking.

Those nice, shapely cheekbones and those plump, luscious lips.

Uh-huh.

That's very sweet, but how did you know that?

Well, 'cause you used to have that, uh... that nice picture frame on your desk.

You know, the one with the really pretty frame.

Do you want it back?

You can have it.

Merry Christmas.

Hey, are you okay? I mean, you look sad.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but you can barely see.

I don't need to see it, honey.

I can feel it.

Oh!

- Hey. - Hey, hey.

Hey. What--

What are you up to? You okay?

Oh, nothing. Just a little stress relief.

Uh, Rebekah and I are taking the twins to see, uh, Disney on Ice again.

Oh, cool. That sounds fun.

Not when it's your third time seeing it!

Well, maybe, uh, do you want to grab a beer first?

Don't tempt me.

However, I do know someone who would love to get a beer with you.

Oh, don't. I'm not calling your mortgage broker.

Come on, man.

Brené got us a great rate. Plus, might be good for you.

Why? Why would it be good for me?

Maybe because you've been a miserable drip lately.

No, I haven't.

You didn't come to the game with me. Hmm?

And you didn't come for birthday pizza.

Look, man, I know this time hasn't been easy for you,

but I think it's about time you started hanging out with other people.

I do hang out with other people.

Those nine-year-olds in there do not count.

Well, I appreciate your concern. I'm just...

really enjoying being by myself right now.

Oh, really? On Christmas?

It's not Christmas.

And B: I have Merv.

The dog?

Don't go back to being that guy.

What guy?

The No Guy.

- The No Guy? - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, and then you and her got together

and she started being like, "Hey, you want to do stuff?"

And you were like, "Mm-kay."

Then boom! You eating sushi and flying to Greenland.

- Iceland. - Whatever.

You said yes to everything.

And now look at you, man.

The No Guy.

- No. - That's you.

No.

I am not a No Guy.

- Oh, okay. Okay. Call Brené. - No.

- Ah! - No!

That's a cheap trick.

Hey, hey. The candy budget's getting low.

You don't even need that much.

The chocolate gonna kill the dog.

Enjoy Disney on Ice.

Russ! Don't be throwing chocolate at me.

You know I was-- Oh! Oh, okay.

Oh.

You didn't... have to do that.

Did I not do it right?

No, I just, um... I like to butter my own bread.

Is that a control issue thing?

- No, I just like-- - Like to be in control.

No, I just like to manage my own bread.

- The red? - Right here.

"Mer-lot." It's my favorite.

- And a spicy margarita. - Thank you.

Be careful. It's hot.

Not too hot for a little lady, I hope.

You just worry about yourself, Mr. Mer-lot.

Too hot?

No, it tastes delicious.

So, your profile said that you recently got out of a long-term relationship.

Uh, yep, I did.

Do you still have feelings for him?

No. Why would I-- No, no.

We're just two people who share a dog.

You share a dog? That's... that's a red flag.

Okay, my turn to ask a question.

Shoot. They call me Ken-do, by the way.

Okay. Ken-don't interrupt me while I'm asking this important question.

Your house is on fire.

Oh, I don't have a house.

I have a condo.

With two parking spots, by the way. Tandem.

Okay, you're in your condo.

It's burning down.

You've saved all your pets, your loved ones,

but you can only save one more thing. What is it?

Easy. My safe.

Oh. You have a safe?

Doesn't everybody?

- I don't. - You should totally.

Seriously, I keep all my valuables in there.

My will, my passport, my gun. It--

Um... this has been nice.

I agree.

So, uh, what are you thinking? Should we split a few appetizers,

or do you want to just go straight to dessert?

Mm. I think, uh...

I think I'm good with bread.

Hi, Mervy.

Where are you? I could really use a cuddle right now.

Merv?

Merv.

Are you okay?

Mervy.

What's wrong, bud?

- You didn't have to come. - Yeah, I know.

I would've kept you in the loop.

I would prefer to hear what the vet has to say firsthand, thank you.

Russ and Anna for Merv.

Dr. Bankert's ready to see you.

Okay.

What's up, Merv?

Hi, Mervy.

Oh, there he is.

Hi, buddy.

- Were you a good boy? Mm. - Are you feeling better?

- Come here, buddy. - Come here. Come on. Mm.

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