Original subtitles

Downloaded from STAGATV.COM

Official Stagatv movies site: STAGATV.COM

Have I got a story to tell you.

It's a Christmas story.

I'm Kate.

That's me about 20 years ago.

Right out of college, I got a job

at this amazing architecture firm in Boston.

I was gonna change the world.

And then my world changed

when I danced at a party with a med student named Everett.

We were obsessed with each other.

That "first love, walking into walls" feeling

where you can't even think.

We've all been there.

So when Everett went home to set up his practice,

I, of course, went with him

to his magical hometown called Winterlight.

Seriously, it's like he grew up in a Yankee Candle.

It was just too hard to leave.

We got married, had kids,

and I discovered that small-town doctors are actually married to their jobs.

It was like being a single mom with a wedding ring.

And my career as an architect?

Plot twist. I became a handywoman instead.

The kids grew up.

Everett and I grew apart.

We weren't having fun anymore.

And that whole "I'm gonna change the world" thing?

Actually, let me just show you the story.

Okay, so you are sure you want to get divorced?

- Yep. - Positive.

Mm-hmm.

Well, as the mayor of Winterlight and your friend,

I think you're making a mistake.

Christina, divorce does not mean that we are not still a team.

Well, legally it kinda does.

We're not even calling it divorce. We're consciously uncoupling.

Yeah, we've been separated for months, and we're much happier.

It's a healthier way to think about ending a marriage.

Can we not advertise this? You know how people are in this town. Thank you.

Gingerbread muffins?

You can't get divorced on an empty stomach.

- Oh, nice. - Thanks, Buck.

Oh, Buck, they're not calling it that. They're calling it conscious uncoupling.

Wow.

What's so funny? I thought you guys were getting divorced.

No, no. Nope. They are consciously uncoupling.

Oh, no kiddin'?

Guys, divorce doesn't have to be terrible.

Yeah, it does.

Look, I know this is our first Christmas apart.

- But we're still gonna spend it together. - Yeah.

- Right? As a family. Normal. - Yeah.

We're gonna do all of the traditional Holden family activities.

- Right. - We're gonna have Christmas dinner.

- All the meals together at the Mothership. - Just gotta work at it.

- Easy. - Yeah, practicing total honesty.

and, uh, starting all of our sentences with

"I feel."

Oh God!

No.

- Come on, hon. - Yeah.

You can order.

- Hey! - Here.

Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an open house.

Hi.

Well, an open tiny house, so not for everyone.

- Mm. - You know, specifically anyone over 4'11".

- Oh. - So how did the meeting go with Christina?

It was kind of a public event.

But what do you expect getting divorced in a coffee shop?

So did you tell Everett that you're moving?

Um...

Not exactly.

I thought you two had a total-honesty policy?

We do, just not about this. I'm not telling the kids either.

This is our last Christmas in this house,

and I... want it to be happy.

I can't believe you're selling The Mothership.

April, I've got a job waiting for me.

I need you to get on board.

Girl, you are asking me to be selfless, which is a big ask.

Girl, I have been stuck in this town for half my life.

Doing what exactly?

Raising kids?

Uh, breaking the glass ceiling in the elite handyman world?

Yeah, and building worm farms in exchange for baked goods.

Gabe is graduating high school this year, and Sienna's already in college.

This is my chance to get out.

Santa's little elves are here!

- You invited Everett's dads? - Duh. We have joint custody.

Hi!

- There's our Katie. - Katie-patatey.

- Hello. - Ooh!

- April, do your worst. - You got it.

Hey, I didn't know what you were cooking, so I brought a sweet-potato casserole.

That's so kind of you.

Now we have two.

- Oh. - Never try to out-Kate Kate at Christmas.

Or Easter.

- Hey, Grandpas. - Hey.

Oh!

Good to see you.

- You get taller every time we see you. - Yes.

Really? Yeah, I think you guys get shorter every time I see you.

- This is why no one likes teenagers. - Uh-huh.

Oh.

It's them. They'll be here in a few minutes.

- They? - Yeah, oh, just you wait.

- Oh! Ooh. - Okay.

- Whoo! - Need any help?

- Oh, baby! - Hi.

- Oh! - Hi. Okay.

- Mwah! Mwah! - All right. All right.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi, Nigel. - Hi!

Nice... Oh, yeah.

- Hi. - Oh.

Okay. Okay.

- Okay, Nigel, you know my mom, Kate. - Yes.

These are my grandpas, Mike and Daryl.

- Hello. - Hi.

- My godmother, April. - Hi.

And then this is my, um, okay, wow... ...not-so-little brother,

Gabriel.

What? Uh, everybody, this is... this is Nigel.

- Hello! - Hi, Nigel.

Lovely to meet you all. I just wish I'd brought something.

Oh, wait, I did. I brought a wand!

Accio Christmas magic!

You... you actually carry a wand?

- I do. - He does.

I used it to cast a spell over this beautiful lady.

Aww.

Wingardium leviosa!

- Wingardium levi-- - Okay. Okay.

Uh, let's... let's go inside.

- Yes. Okay. - That was good. Okay.

Um, oh, do you need help?

- He's fine. Leave him. - I'm good.

- Wow. - Where's Katie?

Mm.

I, uh, I just have to say

that I cannot get over the striking resemblance between you two.

Okay. Everybody always says that, and I just don't see it.

We're nothing alike.

So, Nigel, do you go to Oxford too, or somewhere else?

Oh, no. Nigel doesn't go to college.

- Mom. - Well, he doesn't.

I was just looking at the, uh, crest on your jacket.

What does that say? "Grl-fin-duff"?

"Gryffindor."

Yeah. Nigel works full-time as a Harry Potter tour guide.

- That's a job? - Apparently.

- He's really good. - Yep. I'm the best at it.

I know Parseltongue.

Sienna tells me that you have some unusual holiday traditions.

Yeah, uh, which I'm boycotting this year.

It's your thing, Mom. You go have fun with it. Okay?

Enjoy.

So what are these traditions?

We make handmade gifts and exchange them.

Yeah. Handmade gifts come from the heart.

Unlike real gifts, which are from Amazon.

And Kate doesn't buy ornaments. It's all popcorn and pine cones.

We make ornaments from recycled and found objects.

- What about the birds? - Oh, I love the birds.

We make origami birds,

and then we write something on each of them we're grateful for.

That all sounds brilliant.

That's... that's one way to put it.

Embarrassing is another.

- What about the book? That's not weird. - True.

On Christmas Eve, we bring out our family scrapbook,

and Mom and Dad read it to us.

- Aww. - It's very cute.

Speaking of Everett, sends his regards.

He'd be here, but he had a last-minute patient.

Sounds like Betty. Always working.

Uh... uh... who is Betty?

Oh, my parents call each other Betty and Al. Don't ask.

I'm looking forward to meeting him.

- Oh, and his new girlfriend. - What?

- What? - What?

Ow! Why did you just kick me?

Don't announce that.

- She's looking at me. - Don't make eye contact. Look away.

Kate, um, I've been reading about this, uh, geothermal energy.

- I'd love to get your thoughts. - No, you wouldn't. Nigel?

Nigel? Nigel, I can still see you.

Nigel?

Nigel. Nigel. Don't, Nigel.

Spill.

Dad didn't tell you?

Dad didn't tell me what exactly?

That he's dating someone.

No, I just saw your dad.

If he was dating someone, he would've told me.

Okay...

So Everett's dating someone. So?

You knew about this?

We found out accidentally.

We were sworn to secrecy, which you know I hate, right?

And you both knew?

I mean, I kinda figured it out. You know? There were a lot of clues.

The grandpas told me.

We did not!

I... I might've said something.

Also accidentally.

Yeah, no. Uh...

You guys enjoy lunch.

I just need to do something for a minute.

- Excuse me. - Great.

We are gonna talk about this when I get back.

- Want to know more? - Yeah, more. About everything.

And she's leaving.

I should've told her.

You're dating someone?

We're barely separated.

Uh, Al, Al, I... I'm with a patient, and nine months isn't barely.

Your dads knew. The kids knew.

Even Sienna's weird boyfriend knew.

I knew.

Uh, getting dressed.

I didn't want you to find out this way.

I just couldn't find the right time to tell you.

I feel

like when you're not honest with me,

I can't trust you.

Well, I feel like I have been honest with you

about everything except for this.

I just couldn't get the words out, Al, and

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Let's move past it. Tell me about her.

Her name is Tess.

And, um, had some business around here,

stopped in to do some shopping, slipped on some ice, hurt her ankle,

and, well, she needed a doctor,

so I'm the doctor.

So you violated some kind of ethical laws and started dating her?

- That's not even a gray area. - Oh, it's not a gray area?

- No. - Oh.

- No. - Okay.

Uh...

Well, thanks for being honest.

I can't wait to meet her.

Great.

You know, I had doubts when Buck told me about you two consciously uncoupling--

- August, do you want another one? Huh? - I'm good.

Thanks, Doc. Bye, Kate.

You should throw some tinsel up there. You know? Like, liven it up a bit.

Listen, my heater's busted again.

I swear, can't get a heater or a husband to work.

Well, um, wanna install a heat pump?

- What is that? - A compressor.

- It uses thermodynamics to-- - Uh-oh, it's a Kate Big Word Alert.

I have stopped listening.

Do you wanna come inside and have tea and I'll explain a thermodynamic?

Tea, I understand. Not that herbal crap.

So, what's she like?

Does every single person in this town know?

I'm in a book club. All we do is gossip and drink.

We haven't read a book in a decade.

I haven't met her.

You haven't stalked her on socials? What kind of an ex are you?

- I don't wanna stalk her. - Yeah, we all say that, sweetheart.

We never mean it. What's her name?

Tess Wiley.

This is how I found Herb's new girlfriend.

Although I barely recognized her in person.

She was quite ugly without the filters.

Ooh. Bingo.

- That's who Everett's dating? - Mm.

Are you sure?

- It's her name. - Okay. What's she doing?

She is sculpting butter.

It's an accepted art in some parts of the world.

The really, really stupid parts.

Well,

good for her.

That's all you're gonna say? Come on.

The woman is sadder than day-old soup.

I'm happy for Everett.

Sure you are.

Feels good when they trade down, don't it?

Okay, supplies for making decorations.

I made two lists.

And if you're very fast, I'll buy everyone a candy cane.

I love Christmas!

Great. Now I have to go find him.

Uh, those are free.

- Okay. Go, Gabe. - Mm-hmm.

Uh, K... Kate.

- Hi. - Hi. Uh...

What... what... are you doing here?

What do you mean what am I doing here? I come here four times a day.

Do you have any of those cute little recycled glass bottles?

I wanna make my perfume this Christmas.

Oh, and I need nails too.

Oh, jeez. Uh, um... We don't have any of that.

I'll have to order that. Why don't you come back tomorrow?

- You don't have nails? - No.

- They're on aisle one. - No. No, they're not.

- I... I... I moved them. - You're being weird.

They're not there. I moved them.

- You moved them where? - We had a big run on tiny houses.

I don't think you're remembering correctly.

- They're always on aisle one. - Kate, stop.

Bet the nails are right here.

Oh my God.

Who is that?

Kate... Kate! Kate! Hi!

- I'm not ready for this. - Hi, Kate. I'm Tess. Oh!

Everett has told me so much about you.

Hello.

Do you happen to sculpt butter?

Uh, sculpt...?

Um... No.

Well, not in this outfit, anyway.

I'm aware I'm a little overdressed in a hardware store.

In my defense, I was on an office Zoom, then this guy had to drag me out.

- Well, I mean... - Go Christmas decoration shopping.

Uh, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go kill my elderly neighbor Doris.

Oh, you're here too. Oh...

Oh, what's up, Dad?

- Who's this? - Uh...

- Tess, this is Gabe. - Gabriel.

- It's my son. - The brave firefighter.

- Yeah. - Okay, Gabe. Let's go.

- But... - Wait, Mom, have you seen N...

- Ah, there she is. - Dad!

- Oh my. - Hi.

God, it's good to see you. Oh my God. I missed you.

You must be Sienna.

You're studying economics and management at Oxford, right? Oh!

- You must be brilliant. Hello. - "Brilliant." Wow.

- You are? - This is Tess.

And she doesn't sculpt butter, in case you were wondering.

- I've got supplies! - Oh, there's Nigel.

Oh, there he is. It's nice to finally meet you. Oh, yeah.

- Oh. Okay. - Father of the maiden.

Oh.

- Oh. - Oh. Okay.

It's okay.

- It's okay, babe. - It's okay.

- Pleasure to meet... - Nice to meet you.

You must be, uh, Nigel,

the, um, the Harry Potter expert. Right?

The, uh, the...

"You're a wizard, Harry."

Who are you?

Who... who are you?

- This is Tess. - Tess.

Guilty.

[Kate screams[

Oh.

"Good King Wenceslas for Brass Quartet" playing]

Oh, uh... I was... I was just looking up a recipe.

Yeah, right.

Did you finish your college essay?

Um... no.

No?

- Why are you so eager to get rid of me? - I'm not.

I just want you to go to college.

Yeah, 'cause you think college is, like, the magic ticket outta here, right?

What's so bad about this town? I don't get it.

- I mean, what if I like it here? - We're not gonna debate this.

- Okay. - I just need you to do your essay, okay?

Good morning.

Hey. Gabe, you ready?

Sure. Um, I'll be in the car.

Here, take one of these, baby.

Mm!

Look at you.

Can you please talk to our son about his college essay

and his scholarship applications?

You know he wants to be a firefighter, save people's lives.

Can you remind me why we are against that?

Do you really wanna get into it with me this morning?

- Definitely don't. - It's not a great idea.

I... I... I agree with you. You're worrying me.

I feel like you're stress baking right now.

Have we recovered from the incident?

I don't think I will ever recover.

Well, I feel like maybe we should all have dinner tonight.

- With Tess? - Yes, with Tess.

Where would you suggest I put her?

I don't know. Wherever you got her from.

Um...

Okay, well, uh, that... yeah.

I feel like that's a good idea.

We were very awkward in front of the kids, and we should normalize it.

Great. I feel like 7:30, my place.

I feel like that works.

Yeah. 7:30, your house.

Cool. I feel like I'm gonna have a couple of your muffins.

Okay, I feel like you really like my muffins.

We're just gonna have this one dinner, okay?

And then we're gonna start our usual traditions.

I just wanna talk to you guys.

You know, this new phase of your parents' relationship

might feel a little strange, right?

- It's not. - Yeah, well...

Seeing your dad with other people might be hard.

I... I see him with other people, like, all the time though.

- Me too. - What? No.

- I mean with someone other than me. - Oh.

Your dad and I haven't changed at all.

We're the same people. We believe in the same things.

We just believe in them from different households.

You can call me Kris Or Saint Nick, whatever

You pick, hurry up Just make sure it's...

- You gotta be kidding me. - Wow.

Mm. That's good. So, what do you guys think of the house?

I've always wanted to go nuts at Christmas.

Congratulations.

I can hear the polar ice caps melting.

This is so "Yum, scrum, stick it in my tum."

I exist on takeout. I love it. I can't cook.

This is yummy.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Wow, you, um, you really love cucumbers.

Oh, no, it's Betty. He hates them.

Sorry, just out of curiosity, why do you call each other Betty and Al?

I'll go. Well, she was the first environmentalist that I've ever met,

and I just kept calling her Al because of Al Gore.

- Oh. - Yeah.

And there's that Paul Simon song, you know.

You can call me Betty

And Betty, when you call me

Call me Al

Hey. You have a nice voice.

Anyway, we got carried away, and, um, it stuck.

- It's stupid. - No! I think it's really sweet.

I once had a boyfriend I used to call "The Missile," you know.

But that is just because

he, uh, used to work in the, um, the Air Force.

- Yes. - Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure.

Anyway, I have to say, I... I think you're both amazing.

I have a strict no-contact policy with any of my exes.

Truly, it's just ghost, unfollow, delete, repeat.

- Just gone, you know? - That's awesome. Good to know. Yeah.

Are you trying to get rid of me?

- No. - No?

- No. - You want me to leave?

No. I'm happy you're here.

- Um, how's that ankle? - Oh, my ankle's fine.

Yeah, it's completely healed since before Thanksgiving. Yeah.

- You've been dating since Thanksgiving? - Kind of.

Not dating. Just talking.

- Yeah, but a lot. - A lot.

Like, a lot, a lot. Like, talking hours and hours every day,

and so, you know, when Everett first invited me here,

I thought it was a little bit weird, but, um, I don't know.

I just knew I needed to make it happen.

Yes, and she has been running her empire from my kitchen table ever since.

Empire?

Oh, well, it's, uh, a global nonprofit. I help women start their own businesses.

Just trying to, uh, make a difference.

Oh, wow. That's so cool. How did you get into that?

Oh God. It's a long story,

but I think the best advice is

just find something you love and really stay focused.

Just eyes on the prize.

See all distractions as a derailment.

It's all in my, um... TED Talk.

- There it is. - Wow.

It's true. I mean, the other day,

I was dreaming about unclogging this drain,

and I wanted to quit, but I just kept going,

and you know what? I do think that I made a huge difference

in that shower's life.

I remember now. Everett said that you are a, um... a handywoman.

Right? Or handy... person? Sorry. What do you call yourself, Kate?

Uh, mostly embarrassed, Tess.

- Hey, stop. No, no. - No.

Al is literally the glue that holds Winterlight together.

For sure.

I mean, I don't know what this town would be without her.

Sorry, but the way you say "this town" is just so charming.

It makes me feel like I'm in one of those American movies.

You know, big-city girl comes to a charming wintry town, falls in love.

A bit like The Holiday, you know?

Although, except in... in that movie, the ex-wife was, uh, dead.

Uh, but... but you are not dead,

and thank God because that would be bloody awful,

and I would hate that.

And... and... and I, uh...

Yeah, I think I should just probably stop speaking now.

- That's okay. It's okay. - Sorry!

- So you live in New York? - I have a penthouse in New York.

And a lovely flat over in London whenever I have to zip across the pond,

which, by the way, you can always borrow.

Yeah, it has an amazing location.

It's, like, two blocks from Leadenhall Market,

where, of course, you know, that's where they filmed...

- Diagon Alley. - Yes.

- What? - I knew you'd like that.

- I mean, what? Did you get to go on set? - I did. Several times, actually, yeah.

The producers are friends from school, so I'm very lucky.

Wow. Five points for Hufflepuff.

- Yeah. Thank you very much, wizard. - Oh!

Spoiler, Tess knows everybody, and she's done everything.

Well, except spend Christmas with a handsome doctor

and his fabulous kids.

And that is when they're not with you, of course, as they should be.

Yeah. Actually, um, we're gonna be doing a lot of special, some say unusual,

holiday traditions.

We can... we can do them too

'cause I've moved all of my appointments to early morning, so we're free and clear.

That's a shame. Uh, well, that's wonderful.

But tomorrow morning, bright and early,

I have a very special surprise for the kids, so you'll miss that.

I'm very excited.

Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

Bells on bobtails ring

Making spirits bright

What fun it is to ride and sing...

Ta-da!

New tradition!

This is more than a tree farm.

They have a train.

They have hot cider.

- Pictures with Santa. - Pictures?

No. Pictures with Santa? What are we, five?

It's ironic. All the teenagers are doing it.

Hashtag lighten up. It's Christmas.

And we had to do this at eight o'clock in the morning?

We wanna get the best tree. Beat the crowds.

You said you wanted a normal Christmas. I'm bringing the normal! Yeah.

So we're gonna find a tree, and it's gonna be fun!

Is it, though?

Gabe, think of it like a scavenger hunt. You love scavenger hunts.

Find a tree that has a good shape with room around the branches.

- Like that one? - Done.

I don't understand.

You always wanted to come pick out a tree in real life.

Uh, bring me a cider.

Ooh, yeah, me too. Thanks, Mom!

I can stay if you want.

Okay...

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Can you help me with my tree?

That depends. Have you been naughty or nice?

Santa will help either way. He's just curious.

Uh...

How about nice if you help me and naughty if you don't.

Santa likes this answer.

We're getting a living Christmas tree. We don't get a lot of customers for that.

You should promote them.

A living tree can sequester hundreds of pounds of carbon in its lifetime.

They're awesome.

That is awesome. Santa thinks you're the prettiest tree lover he's seen.

- Oh. Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Um, so,

are you gonna continue to speak in the third person

this entire conversation?

No, no, no, because my name isn't Santa,

so technically, Santa isn't speaking to you in the third person.

Chet Moore. Recent transplant from Portsmouth. It got way too bougie.

Uh, Kate Holden. Uh...

- What are you doing? - Checking for a wedding ring.

You're hitting on me?

Yeah. You're smart, funny, beautiful, and apparently single,

which, why that is... go figure, huh?

- How old are you? - Twenty-eight.

- Same age as you. - You're good.

Thanks.

Yeah, I tried Krav Maga. It wasn't for me. A little too violent.

- Oh. - Yeah.

- Huh. - So I got into yoga instead.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

No problem. I actually, um,

I hang outdoor Christmas lights, jumpstart dead batteries,

even have my own snowplow if you need anything like that.

- Oh, triple threat. - Yeah.

- Well, thank you for helping me. - Uh-huh.

Well, you could let me thank you by letting me take you out to dinner.

Oh.

And, uh, cheat on Mrs. Claus? I couldn't let you do that.

No. We're in an open relationship. It's totally fine.

If she doesn't know, it won't hurt her.

Here's my card. Uh, call me sometime.

That's my number. I wear a lot of hats.

- "Chet Moore." - Yeah.

"I wear a lot of hats."

That's me.

- Bye. - See ya.

- Thank you. - Uh-huh.

- Bye, Mom. - Where are you going?

Oh, we were gonna go meet Dad and Tess downtown.

- But it's time for origami. - Can we do origami later?

Dad never takes time off, and we don't wanna miss it, so...

Um, yeah. That's fine.

- Go have fun. - Bye, Mom.

- Ooh, Bye. - Bye.

I can't believe Everett took time off of work.

Yeah. So apparently, it is possible.

I am gonna make a fortune on this commission.

It's my nephew's drone. He's got, like, two brain cells.

- I figure, if he can do it, so can I. - Oh... let's see about that.

Whoa. Watch out!

- Sorry. Sorry. - Good God, woman!

Stay down. Stay down. I'm trying. I'm trying.

- Oh my God. - Oh! Oh.

Remember when I started my business and he wouldn't take a few mornings off

to watch the kids?

So I insulated an entire attic wearing Gabe in a sling.

Oh, I do. It was my attic.

You have a freakish amount of solar panels on your house.

If a storm hit right now,

I have enough energy stored in the battery--

- Watch out! - Oh!

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry! I'm sorry!

Good God, woman!

Okay. I'll do better. I'll do better.

Some think you're hoarding enough power to light up Times Square.

Well, maybe I am.

Goddammit! What is wrong with you?

Okay. Okay, I got it. Nope, crushed.

Dad and Tess took us shopping.

What?

Yeah, oh, and I got this cute little jumper.

Oh, hey, Mom, look. Check all this out, huh?

Brand-new pants, brand-new coat to match.

I don't think I've had anything matching, like, ever.

- And did I mention new? - Yeah. Also, new, no holes, and it fits.

Okay... ...but the clothes I bought you were not rags,

they didn't have holes, and they fit you.

They were just gently used,

which you know is so much better for the Earth.

Oh, Mom, Tess also said that I could intern for her company.

Yeah. She said that I have the leadership qualities she looks for.

You are a leader. I've told you that.

- And look what I got. - What's that?

It's a pocket fireplace. Look.

Fire on. Fire off. Fire on. Fire off.

Fire on. Fire off.

We get it.

I feel like a dragon.

Ugh...

- Oh, that's Dad and Tess. - Wait, you just got home.

- We're gonna sled at Mad Mountain. - I need shoes.

I'm so excited!

- I don't trust you with fire. - I am so excited!

Ah!

I'm fine! I'm fine!

Aw. Hi, Kate.

- That's precious. - Yeah, it's precious.

And when it falls apart in a week, we can just throw it into a landfill.

Whoa!

Hey, what is... what... what is wrong with you?

Well, Everett,

I feel upset

that I have spent their entire lives

working to make Christmas

more than an opportunity to be materialistic.

Well, I feel like you got a Christmas tree without me.

And I feel like I don't have to run things by you.

It's this, "I feel, I feel."

Ugh! I hate "I feel"s!

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey, uh, so we'll be back for dinner.

Okay, um, but when... when... when are we gonna do origami?

We'll do it later.

Okay. Have fun.

Take the clothes back!

Take the tree back.

Take the clothes back!

- You take the tree back. - Take those clothes back!

You do the clothes. I'll do the tree.

Have fun.

He would never do this on his own.

He's dating Satan Claus.

It's diabolical.

She's using fun against you.

I'm fun.

What?

I can be fun.

I'll show them fun.

You know who else I bet is fun? Chet.

Joy to the world

The Lord is come

Let Earth...

Oh, could this place be any more adorable?

Wow. Oh, look!

- Hey! - Hey!

What's up? Ha-ha! Yeah!

- Well, hey! - Hey.

Al, what are you doing here?

Oh, I'm on a date.

This guy.

- Meet Chet. - 'Sup?

You're on a date.

With him. With a person named Chet, huh?

Everett.

Uh, you're the guy who was at the Christmas tree farm, right?

- Yeah. - Oh! Yo, what's up?

My man.

- Okay. - Oh.

- Okay. - Babe.

- Okay. - Oh yeah.

- Babe. - Crazy.

- Oh God. Okay. - Sorry.

- I think I'm next. - What's up, man? Hi.

You know what I'm saying?

Ohh...

Oh!

Wow, you're so strong.

Yeah. He's really strong.

I got a little something for you. Chet Moore.

I wear a lot of hats.

"Chet Moore. I wear a lot of hats."

- Yeah. He wears a lot of hats. - So many.

Right there. You wrote it on there, huh?

- Both sides. - Oh yeah.

Chet's really fun. Do something fun.

Should I do the thing with the... You know? With the...

- Yeah, do it. - Okay.

Pow, pow. Pow, pow. Pow, pow, pow, pow!

- You do that. You do it. - Yeah.

It's like there's a family of beavers playing under there.

Mom, are you okay?

- I've never been better. - Crrrh! Crrh!

Let's sled.

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah.

- Okay. - Let's do that. Let's go sliding.

You're going on that one? All right, babe. See you later.

So where's Chet?

Is he in a deep conversation with a tree?

Where's Tess? On a fake Zoom with the UN?

How are you even mad?

I took time off of work to be with our kids.

Which you never did before.

I bet you're not even working on Christmas Eve.

I am. It's the busiest night of the year. You know this.

For people who eat too much

and could easily go to the doctor in Newberry.

This is Winterlight, okay?

- It's not... You're not at Johns Hopkins. - Oh no. Not again.

Maybe if you weren't so obsessed with your own career...

- Playing all the greatest hits! - ...maybe I could've had a career of my own!

- But no. You dragged me to this tiny town. - I didn't...

I didn't drag you. Okay?

I brought you to the place I love the most because you're the person I love the most.

Loved.

You know what I mean.

I always know what you mean.

It's annoying.

Oh.

There she goes.

She was a good sled.

Well, you're in luck.

Come on.

I'll give you a ride.

Your chariot, my dear.

I should steer.

Why do you have to control everything? Huh? Just sit.

Fine.

But don't touch anything.

Mm... I can't make any promises.

- Oh! - Ah. All right.

There are several inches of coat between my arms and anything.

Oh.

- There we go. - Really? I feel something.

Pay no attention to that.

- Uh-huh. - Let's go.

Oh, hey, look. There's Mom and Dad sledding together.

Here we go.

Wait. You're... you're making it go too fast!

Oh wow. They're going really fast.

Yeah, and he's, like, really grabbing on to her. Jesus.

- I can't control gravity. - You're gonna hit Nigel!

- Out of the way! - Nigel!

- Out of the way! - Oh God!

- Nigel's down. - You're gonna go over the thing!

- Nigel's down! - We're gonna go over!

- Oh my God! Let go. - Let go?

- Let go! Bail! - What do you mean?

Bail! Now!

God.

- Ow. - You okay?

Oh. Yeah, I'm... I'm fine.

No. No, no, no, you're not... you're not fine.

- I know you better than that. - Okay.

Oh...

- Jesus. - Oh boy.

See that? It's gonna be cold.

- Here you go. Ready? - Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay, breathe in.

Good. Breathe out.

Time of death, 3:58.

No, you're good. Nothing's broken. Probably just a little bruising.

- I told you I was fine. - I'm sorry. I should've listened to you.

You have so much more medical experience than I do.

Well, I was married to a doctor.

God, you're pretty.

Betty?

Yeah, Al?

Can you take your hand out from under my sweater?

Oh, yeah. Sure.

- Uh... - Hey, this zipper is just stuck a little.

Anybody want food?

- Yeah. I'm starving. - She's good. She's good.

- Wait up! - I got you.

- Chet, here. - Yep.

Here we go.

Hmm.

Something wrong?

- Yes. Several things, actually. - Okay.

I lost my AirPods in the snow

and broke my sled, and they said they can't fix it.

Well, I can't do much about your AirPods, but I can try and fix your sled.

I might have a screw in here. Hang on.

Ah! You're in luck.

No way.

You... you go sledding with a screwdriver?

I go everywhere with a screwdriver.

Um...

There is, uh, one other thing you could, uh, perhaps help me with.

- What's that? - Well, I, um...

I basically just started seeing this guy,

and, uh, I just watched him get very cozy with his... ex-wife.

Oh that? No.

No.

I hit the ground really hard, and he's my doctor.

It was strictly professional,

his hand being up my shirt.

- Mm. - Yeah. You have nothing to worry about.

Though I do just have one burning personal question.

What's that?

Forgive me, but

how did you let him get away?

- Oh, like-- - Hey, guys, guys, uh, how many?

Uh, two?

- I'll take the lot! - Sir Gandalf.

- It's Harry Potter. - Yeah, I don't know what that is.

Uh... Oh, August. What are you doing? You work here?

Yeah, seasonal.

I'm a middle-school principal, Doc, not Jeff Bezos.

Oh.

I loved him in The Fly, man. That was great.

That's Jeff Goldblum.

- Right. Same guy. - Sorry.

No. Um, okay, so I'm gonna do five ciders, five dogs. Only mustard.

Sounds good, and for Kate's new man?

Ooh. Uh, I will take... I'll take two ciders. I'll take two veggie dogs.

But I want them extra crispy. Really crispy. Make me think it's meat.

Yeah, that's not Kate's new man.

- No? - No.

No, I... I wouldn't mind the title. How'd you let that one get away?

I didn't let him get away.

It was my idea.

Sorry, so you broke up with him after he Clooneyed?

He didn't Clooney. Wait, what is that?

Everett's smart and kind and funny and successful. He's a... a family man.

He's a doctor who also happens to be a stone-cold fox.

I mean, he is a unicorn.

He's a Clooney. A Clooney-corn.

- Can you stop saying "Clooney," please? - Sorry.

Kate's smart. Kate's beautiful. Kate's got this adorable laugh.

Kate's got a power drill that goes through any kind of material you can find.

Stop saying "Kate."

He was married to his job.

Did he tell you he spent all his time away from home

at the practice?

Yes. He said he missed electricity and toilet paper.

That's ridiculous.

- We had electricity and toilet paper. - That's not what he said.

I mean, she cared more about her compost pile than her marriage.

Mm.

Does that feel reflective of your marriage itself?

That's interesting.

What's more interesting is Kate felt brave enough to share with me

that you worked on her birthday and missed anniversaries

on more than one occasion.

- She said that? - Yeah.

He also said there was some five-minute shower rule

and that you make your own toothpaste?

No one takes showers for more than five minutes

unless you're a dick.

And he said he liked my cinnamon toothpaste.

Kate.

No one likes cinnamon toothpaste.

I don't know.

I... I guess she lost interest in trying to make it work.

- I'm sorry, that sounds really painful. - Oh! Yeah, it hurts.

How'd that make you feel?

- Lonely. - Mm.

Yeah, I felt really alone.

And maybe I nagged at him about the kids and the house

and about never being there

but my giving up everything for him.

I guess he just lost interest in making it work.

Would it have killed you to spend a little more time with her?

Would it have killed you to have gotten him an indoor grill?

Here.

Thank you. Thank you.

And... and by the way, you know, no judgment or complaint from me.

You know, your loss is my gain.

Your loss is my gain.

Bye, guys. Thank you. Come back soon.

Maybe buy something next time. That would be nice.

Oh, Katie! Katie! Come here. Come here, honey.

Tell me, do these guys look like they're gathered around a campfire

or like they're having a séance?

Oh, honey. I can change it. We can do something else.

- I've lost my children. - What?!

What are you saying?

- Daryl, calm down. - Did you hear what she said?

- I did. - What did she say?

Breathe. I don't want you to pass out

and smash your head on a crock pot or something.

Why don't you go do a stock check? It always makes you feel better.

I'm gonna do a stock check. Always makes me feel better.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Just a minute.

Katie, here you go.

Okay.

All right. All right. Tell Mikey all about it.

Tess and Everett took the kids on a luxury snowmobiling adventure.

Well, I'm sure they're gonna return them.

They like her more than me.

Oh, ridiculous.

It's like... it's like the Christmas fairy came to town.

What? The... the Christmas fairy?

Yeah, and she's sprinkling them

with materialistic consumer magic.

Oh, whatever. I don't know.

I thought our Christmas was special.

You know, Katie, uh,

I don't think this is about Tess at all.

- Huh? - Ending a marriage is very hard.

And you two still have a lotta love for each other.

We drive each other crazy.

Oh.

Daryl drives me crazy.

For example,

he cannot keep track of his damn car keys.

- Oh. - What is that?

I don't know.

But we both know what the end of the day should look like.

Us in our La-Z-Boys, beers in hand,

enjoying a little Gayle King, the two of us touching toes.

That's so beautiful.

It is.

I never even wanted to get divorced.

And now look. I don't have Everett or my kids.

Katie, you're a wonderful mother.

I am?

And Gabriel and Sienna, they're... they're normal kids.

They're hypnotized by shiny objects.

But trust me, that will pass.

- It will? - Oh yes.

- Really? - Yes.

In a couple of days, it'll be Christmas and presents.

Yes.

I really need a win.

Well, then...

I think the undisputed champion of the Great Holden Gingerbread Bake Off

should go home and dust off her rolling pin.

Right.

- Yes. - That's what I'm gonna do.

- Yes! - Yes.

- Yes. - Yes.

- Yes. - Okay. Thank you, Mike!

You still listening, Daryl?

I wasn't listening. That was really nice.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm so happy we're doing this together.

How's it coming?

It's going pretty good.

Good. Why isn't Nigel helping you?

Oh, he's in there playing an online Quidditch match.

- Why? Is there another kind? - Shut up.

Look, at least he's committed, so you gotta respect that.

- Oh, thank you. - Yeah.

I wish everyone did.

- Sweetie, I like Nigel. - Mm-hmm.

I really do.

But you are a very serious person,

and you have a very bright future ahead of you.

- Nigel, he's-- - Fun.

Silly.

Nigel is exactly the vibe I need.

- You totally underestimate him. - Pass it! Pass it! Yes!

I've got it! Boom!

I am Daniel Radcliffe.

He... he studied to be a chef.

His parents own this cool little pub in a charming Yorkshire village.

He starts work there this summer. I'm going to visit him.

No, no, no. Small towns are like quicksand. Stay away.

- Hello, family. - Hi.

- Hello. - You met my sugar daddy?

Yo. What's up, fam?

- Oh. - I am the Notorious B.I.Gingerbread.

Yeah, you are.

- I love these little straws. So good. - It's not a straw.

- I don't know. - Oh, hello, Christmas.

Well, hello, bartender.

- I actually have that exact same outfit. - Do you?

- Does it chafe in the back? - It does.

- Right? It's crazy. - Hello. Sorry we're late.

- Hi. - Someone didn't wanna come.

Everett! No, sorry. It's just that I don't know how to do this sort of thing,

and I don't really like to lose.

So... ...thank you for telling everyone.

Well, it's just fun. Not a competition.

Brilliant.

Uh, okay, well, Tess and Everett, why don't you guys be right here?

- And Dads? - Mm?

Wait. Where's the house?

Actually, we left it in the store because, this year, we're going to be presenters.

Okay? I'm Noel Fielding

from... ...The Great British Bake Off.

- Who are you? - I'm Jeff Probst from Survivor.

- Oh my God. I love that band. - Mm.

- They're so good. - One-hit wonders.

Yeah. "Heat of the Moment"? Fantastic song.

- Okay. - Okay.

But you love making Gingerbread Holden's Hardware.

Less competition.

Okay. It's not a competition.

- It's not a competition. - It's not a competition.

- What was the wink-wink? - No, it's just fun.

- What was the wink? - It's fun. Nothing.

- Right there. Yeah. - Yeah?

It's missing a little space. That's perfect. That feels good.

- That's nice. That's really nice. - Okay.

God.

He's embarrassing himself flirting like that.

The kids are watching.

I think he's trying to make himself feel better

about losing the best thing he ever had.

I like you.

Talk more.

Well, uh... Well, do you wanna make him jealous?

Do I seem that immature?

No. No, no. Of course not. Maybe a little. Do you want to?

- No! - I'm gonna throw you on the counter.

- No, no. You definitely don't... - I think it's a great idea.

Go ahead and follow my lead there.

Yeah, fantastic.

- Mind if I borrow this for a second here? - Oh. Oh.

- Hi, how are ya? - Oh, hi.

- How are you doing? - Oh, hi there.

- Is he watching yet? - I don't know. Oh, yeah.

Is he? He's watching?

A little bit of this.

Oh, okay. Um... Oh.

- Um... - She's just embarrassing herself.

- Why do you care? - I... I don't.

- Ooh. Shake it down. - Okay. Down.

- Bam, bam, bam. - Down?

- Whoa. - Oh!

Did I drop something?

Oh. Excuse me, miss.

Oh!

Too hard, huh?

God, what is he doing?

Ah!

One of my side hustles is I'm an exotic dancer.

Okay.

Bakers! You have five minutes left.

- What are you doing in here? - Hey, don't look, spy.

Ah, this isn't a competition, remember?

- Hmm? - Mm.

- Where's your partner? - He got bored. He's entertaining April.

- I can't believe that... - Yeah.

You two were having fun.

So were you.

Listen, Katie, can I talk to you about something?

Yeah, but hurry. I need you to help bring this into the other room.

- Okay. Hold on. Come here. - Oh.

Just a second, okay? I just...

- I wanted to say that I'm sorry. - It's fine.

The kids' coats were falling apart. They needed new ones.

- No. No, no, no. Not that. - Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry that I wasn't a better husband.

What?

You were right. I mean, I spent so much time at work.

You and the kids paid the price.

Am I dreaming?

Is this a prank?

No. No, no, no.

I've just been... I've been thinking a lot lately, you know?

You know, my dads were the first gay couple around here to have a kid.

And it was a little bit unusual, so they got a lot of attention.

You know? Some...

Some good and, uh, some not so good.

It's like we were this experiment that people were watching.

"Can a gay couple raise a kid?"

And I guess I... I internalized that.

Right?

And I had something to prove, you know, for them.

And, uh, well, I guess that just turned me into a workaholic, and I'm sorry, Kate.

I'm... I'm so sorry.

You never told me that.

I never really knew it, you know?

I guess it took me nine months of separation.

It was easier to blame you for everything than to look at my own stuff.

And I just hope to do it better the next time.

Next time?

Yeah. Yeah.

A better husband, uh, a better father.

I'm not following you.

Well, I mean, you know, with... Tess and I are...

you know, if I get married again,

if I have kids again,

I'm going to do it better because of you.

Because of our marriage, so

thank you.

Right, here we are.

Hmm.

Doesn't scream Christmas, but good effort.

Son, you worry me.

- Thanks. - Mm.

- All right. - So what do you two have for us?

No.

Sorry, no. No, no, no. Uh, forfeit.

Oh, stop, stop, stop. How bad could it be?

Get ready. Boom.

- Oi. - So is there a story to this?

We failed.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- The tribe has spoken. - Mm-hmm.

- Better luck next year. - Thank you.

And now we come to the house we've all been waiting for.

Mm-mm-mm.

Katie.

Well, I think we've found our winner.

Can you tell us about this?

Mm, I'd love to.

See, years ago, I came to Winterlight.

I got married

and put aside my career ambitions

and felt like a big, fat failure.

- Oh. - But it's okay.

I was wrong about that.

See, I thought that my purpose

was to help the world through green architecture,

but it turns out that my purpose

was to teach my ex-husband

how to be a better father and husband

to his next wife and kids.

Oh!

I just can't wait to get out of this place.

Chet made the, um, the reindeer.

Oh, yeah. Uh, the reindeer poop is edible, so...

Huh. Nice touch.

Thank you so much for today. I... I had a blast. This was amazing.

I gotta pick up the twins from Tiny Toes.

Oh, wait, you have twins?

Yeah. I'm a manny a couple days a week.

- Of course you are. - Stay strong.

Call me, and, uh... pound me?

Really get in there. Pound me.

Okay.

- Nice. - Yeah.

Thank you, milady.

Mm!

You like that?

- Oh. - Gonna have to have that removed.

- I don't like that there. - Okay.

- I miss you. - Bye.

What do you mean you can't wait to leave this place?

The dining room. It was super hot. Wasn't it stupid hot?

- Al? - Huh?

What's goin' on?

After Gabe graduates high school,

I'm moving to Boston.

- What? - Mom.

Oh my God.

Katie, w... w... why?

I got my old job back.

It's another shot for me.

- What about our house? - I need to sell it to pay for my new life.

Okay, hold on, so you're telling me you're gonna sell our house,

but you didn't even bother to run it by me?

So this is your idea of total honesty?

I was gonna tell all of you. I really was.

I wanted to wait till after the holidays. I didn't wanna ruin Christmas.

Uh, well, I'm not leaving, so...

Selling The Mothership? That's like selling your third child or something.

Are you really gonna leave us? We thought you liked it here.

Oh, Katie, this is a sad day indeed.

Me, of all people?

You couldn't tell me?

Yum, yum, yum.

I made apology scones.

I'm still mad at you. Baked goods are not gonna change that.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the house.

I didn't want our Christmas to change,

but it turned out it changed anyway for... other reasons.

Well, I forgive you. These scones are brilliant.

Thank you, Nigel.

And I've decided

I'm not going to insist

that you participate in our family traditions anymore.

You can do whatever you want.

You're old enough to decide for yourselves.

Yesterday, you seemed deranged. Now you seem, like, possessed.

This is the new me, Gabe.

Gabe, how's the essay coming along?

I want to be a firefighter, Mom. My choice is made.

Right, and when you go to college somewhere else,

you will see that you have so many more choices.

Right.

I'll go talk to him.

Okay. Thank you, baby.

As Albus Dumbledore once said,

- "Harry, you must--" - Nope, absolutely not.

Okay, um...

Well, then I'll say it.

I think your biggest fear

is that your children will turn out like you,

and from where I sit,

that's not such a bad thing.

Thank you, Nigel. That's very kind.

- Hi. - Hi.

Wow. You look... gorgeous.

Thank you.

- So do you. Nice tux. - Thank you.

It's, uh, it's a tearaway tux. Part of my exotic-dancer routine.

I'd show you right now, but it's just so much work

to put all the Velcro pieces back together. It's a nightmare.

- Show me another time. - Yeah.

- Later tonight, even, if you want. - Okay.

Yeah. I will.

All right.

- Milady. - Thank you.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

'Tis the season to be...

I stopped cold plunging, and I just use Icy Hot now.

- What? - It's great. It's fantastic. Oh my God.

- Hi, Chet. Let me help you with your coat. - Oh, yeah.

- Okay. - Go easy, woman.

It's a little stuck. I know that guy! He's next to the wizard.

- What's up? Hey, how are you? - Mm!

- Ooh! - Here, hold that for a sec.

Oh, you bought a pocket fireplace?

Yeah, I'm replacing the one for Nigel that I smashed, remember?

That's funny, you don't look drunk.

Hmm.

Can you watch Chet for me?

Will I?

Oh, good. Kate's here.

And, uh, Chet.

Wow. -

Hey, guys.

Everyone, just gather around for a second.

Thank you.

Um, I just wanna make a toast.

With apple juice because I have to open the clinic in two hours, so...

I just wanna say

that I'm happy for you,

and you're finally getting the life that you want,

and nobody deserves it more.

And if I could go back in time, I would've made sure it was a lot sooner.

So, to Al, right?

- To Al! - To Al!

- Yeah. - To Kate.

- Kate! - Mm.

Mm! And I just also wanted to add, thank you so much for coming.

You know, this is my first time throwing a Christmas dinner

because normally on Christmas, I'm in a soup kitchen,

uh, you know, feeding the poor and the needy and the homeless,

so you know, it's just... Uh, but this is still also so nice.

And I know you're dying to open the presents,

so I think we should just eat as fast as humanly possible.

- Let's go. - All right.

- Yeah, come on. - Let's!

Let's eat. Let's eat. Let's eat.

Those are from me.

So thoughtful of you. Thank you.

They're Stella McCartney.

- Mm. - Wow.

- Do you know who that is? - Yes, I know who that is. Thank you.

Well, I, uh, I have one for you too.

I know what this is.

Oh, no, you didn't.

I made it.

- You made it?! - Yeah.

My hats are loved, okay? They're legendary.

- You got that right. - That hat I always wear?

- Kate made it. - Hey, I love my hat.

Thank you, Dad.

Yeah, I... I think this is very...

warm looking.

Dad, open that big one right there. It's from Mom.

- You know, maybe it's a hat. - Okay.

Ooh, it's heavy.

- Do you need help? - No, I'm good.

- You sure? - Yeah.

- Maybe help him. - Thanks.

- What is it? - Oh yeah! No.

You didn't. It's an indoor grill. Huh?

Oh my God! Hold on, you guys. Stop clapping.

I don't want anything. No one look at me. I feel...

I thought he was kidding about how much he wanted one.

Hey, I never joke about grilling in my underwear.

Right, sorry. Gotcha.

Al, thank you.

I'm sorry it took so long.

No.

- This is for you. - Oh.

- Got you. - Yeah.

- It's from me, though. Thanks, Chet. - Thanks.

My perfume.

Yeah.

- Oh... - I hope it's close.

Dads told me you didn't pick up your bottle,

so I figured that I'd try to replicate that scent you wear.

I can't believe it.

It's exactly the scent.

How?

Well, I've been smelling it for a very long time.

Tess!

- Sorry. - Come on.

- Must be the perfume. - Right here.

Looks expensive.

Better be.

Is it a ring?

Well, what is it?

Um...

It's AirPods.

- Nice. - That's great.

Yeah, it's, you know, because you lost yours sledding.

Yeah.

Sorry, it's just, uh, just that you gave your ex-wife

her signature perfume that you made from scratch,

and, uh, and then you gave me AirPods.

- Hey, Tess, it's not a big deal. - Yeah.

Kate doesn't like store-bought gifts. I'm trying to be a good ex-husband.

Right, yes. Yes, no. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

I... I... I've made it weird.

Uh, it's getting late. We're gonna take off.

No. There's more presents.

- We're going. Find your keys. - I love going. That's fun.

Okay, let's go, Chet.

- Why can you never find your keys? - Because I...

- Has anyone seen his key? - I got it.

Ah, good.

- Love you. - Love you.

- Love you. - Stay for dessert.

They want to go, just let them.

Careful.

- Come here. Hugs. - Oh, yeah. Love you.

- Love you. - We're gonna go too.

- Bye. - Oh wow, look, there's a fire.

- Whoa, whoa! - Gabe, get back!

Keep calm. Find the nearest exit. Don't come back inside. Stay low.

Everybody stand back!

Get back!

- Sorry, sorry. - What are you doing, Chet?

Whoa!

What the...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Wow!

Stay back!

No!

Look away! Look away!

Stay safe.

Oh!

No!

My eyebrows are singeing. It's hot!

Chet, where'd your clothes go? Move!

- Yeah. All right! - Yeah!

Yeah!

All right. Yeah, Gabe.

- Good job, baby! - Attaboy!

Okay. Yeah.

- Hey. - Phew. Pff.

- What happened? - Well, that was a gift for Nigel.

For me?

Yeah.

- Nigel. - Nigel. Yeah.

- I blame myself. - There's no one to blame.

No, I mean for all of this. For all of this!

I pride myself on sidestepping problematic relationships.

I avoid idealized male stereotypes, you know, that seem too good to be true.

And all of this is just a huge red flag.

I didn't sign up for dating some country doctor

and his wife and whatever the hell Nigel is.

- Yeah, I get it. - But, you know, thanks for the AirPods.

Hm.

I guess you should go talk to her.

I should?

Oof.

Yeah.

Sorry about tonight.

No, it's totally okay. I always say, if it's not a fight, it's not family.

Well, I'm just glad that you and your pants were here.

Oh, they're fire retardant. I use a lot of flaming puppets in my act.

It's a... it's a hard thing to describe, but I'll show you sometime.

- Okay. - So... so you're really... really moving, huh?

Yeah, I... I should've told everyone sooner.

Well, I'm... I'm totally open to a... a long-distance thing.

You know, there's a lot of great, like, beer museums out in Boston, so...

No. I'm sorry.

Well, Chet understands and is hoping you will change your mind.

- I won't. - Damn.

But thank you for making me feel special at a time when I really needed it.

You're a great guy.

So are you.

Oh! Mm!

Mm.

Mm!

Okay.

Bye, Chet.

- Well, see ya. - See ya.

Oh!

Oh!

I'll see you soon, huh?

All right.

You've been with us through it all.

I never thought it would be so hard to leave you.

Thank you for everything.

Aw. You're welcome.

Wait, what did I do again?

You're the best daughter.

Yeah, well, that wind is so loud, it kept waking me up.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

Hm.

- Can we snuggle? - Oh, yes, please.

Yeah.

Hey, did that wind wake you up?

Yes.

Sounds gnarly out there. Oh my God.

What are you doing?

- Okay. - Gabe! Okay.

- Sorry, guys. - Oh God.

- Phew! - You wanna snuggle too?

No.

Maybe.

Come here.

You can put your head on my shoulder too. It's legal.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

My babies.

Who's that?

Twenty bucks says it's Chet.

What are you doing here?

Why aren't you at the clinic?

I put a sign on the door telling people to go to Newberry.

Am I late?

- For what? - It's Christmas Eve book night.

Am I the only one who cares about carrying on these family traditions?

Jeez Louise. Excuse me.

Look what I found on the doorstep.

Hey, what up, Dad?

- Oh. - Yeah.

It's your dad.

Tell me the truth, am I adopted?

I'm your father. I'm your dad.

Ooh. I'm coming in, I'm coming in, I'm coming in hot.

Okay. Ah.

Ooh, it's time.

We don't have to read the whole thing, right?

- No. - It's like a thousand pages.

We would never torture you guys like that. Absolutely not.

- Yeah. - Uh-uh. Page one.

This is our first picture together. Me and your mommy.

What a smokeshow. Look at how gorgeous your mother is.

Aww. You aren't too bad yourself.

I feel like crying. I might cry.

That was fun.

Oh, yeah.

I loved it.

So I should... I should probably get going.

Thanks for tonight.

Of course.

I thought we fixed this door.

Huh? Dumb old house.

Hey!

It's okay, House. He didn't mean it.

I'm sorry, House.

I didn't mean it.

There's just so many things that don't work.

And so many things that do.

Yeah.

- So yummy. - It's so yummy.

Best egg I've ever had.

- Oh, Merry Christmas, sleepyheads. - Merry Christmas.

- Aww! - It's Christmas. You get kisses.

Aww! Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas.

- Um, I'm gonna-- - And me.

Oh! Oh, okay.

Oh, Nigel. Merry Christmas.

Um, I'm gonna go dig out the truck.

- I need to drop you at your dad's by nine. - Wait. You're not coming?

After last night? No. No, I'm good. I... I have lots to do around here.

Change of plans. We're walking.

Well, hello, family.

Everything okay?

With?

The storm.

The storm inside or the storm outside?

The storm outside.

I have no heat, no power, and a tree fell on my woodshed,

so yeah, it's great.

Poor baby.

Oh, oh, oh, Tess. What...

- Sorry, was I loud? - What are you doing?

I'm leaving. I'm going home.

Okay, but, um, the roads are closed, so it's probably not safe.

If I can walk across Africa, Kate,

I think I will be fine in Winterlight.

Thank you, though.

Okay. Um...

I know that Everett and I need to work on our boundaries.

And are these going to be, uh, some sort of magical boundaries

that make you completely invisible?

'Cause that is the only way he's not going to... light up

every single time you're in the room, and I just... I can't.

But thank you for having me, and thank you for the hat.

And I have got to go.

Oh my God. I thought she pushed you down the stairs.

Tess, where you going? Huh?

The power is out, and it's freezing, and you're wearing a vinyl coat.

Oh, I'll be fine.

I've got Kate's cool hat, don't I, Betty?

- You don't wanna talk about this at all? - Talk about what? What are we doing?

What did we think was gonna happen?

Maybe when I twisted my ankle,

I also hit my head because why am I in the North bloody Pole

with some Marlon Rando I met four weeks ago?

I think we might have been suffering from some sort of mutual manic episode.

And... and I think no one noticed

because we're both just so attractive and tall.

Well, at least the sex was good.

Yeah... Yeah, it was good. It was getting there. It was. Oh!

Oi! Okay, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna leave you to deal with... all of this.

Merry Christmas, Betty.

Merry Christmas.

Hey!

Merry Christmas!

What the... Chet?

Yeah!

Why is he everywhere?

I'm an emergency-response-team volunteer. This is The Big Leplowski.

Of course it is.

I need to get to the interstate. I think it's all been plowed by now.

No, no. I haven't gotten to it yet.

Then I'll get a bloody helicopter.

I don't care. Just get me out of here. I need to go to New York.

Oh, Chet loves New York.

Course he does.

And is this one of your, um,

stripper outfits?

Can be if you want it to be.

We'll, uh, talk about that later.

- Bye, Kate! - Bye, Chet!

- Bye, guy! - It's Everett, but...

Okay. Sure thing, Kate.

Let's go.

I hate to sound like the Grinch, but

maybe we should postpone until the power comes back.

Or cancel altogether.

I mean, how many signs do we need that this is not our year?

What are we even talking about? We're not canceling anything.

Okay? This is Christmas.

- Let's go. - Go where, exactly?

Home, of course.

I don't know how I didn't think of this. Duh.

The Mothership has battery power.

Heat, food,

It's Christmas! Yeah!

We should canvass the neighborhood, see if anyone needs help.

Good idea.

- Uh-huh. - What about me?

Wanna do presents?

Make two piles, and we'll salvage what we can.

Yes, ma'am.

Great. I'm gonna get my boots. Meet you down there.

Good, good.

- Honey? - Mm-hmm?

I'm sorry you come from the weird family.

Yeah, well...

...I'm not.

Now that I'm older, I... I like being from a weird family.

Guess it turns out I like weird.

Well, yeah, Nigel.

- Mom! - I'm kidding.

Plus, we're super cool.

Okay, go ahead. Tell me more things that make me feel good.

Don't, like, lose it,

but you're looking at the president

of the Oxford Sustainability Initiative.

And I volunteer weekends at the Scrap Lab offloading the composting system.

I'm so proud of you!

Oh, baby! Oh!

- This is the best Christmas present ever. - Okay.

- Thank you for telling me. - You're welcome.

Who is it? I got a Taser. Oh.

It's Gabe, Miss West.

Oh.

Hey, why don't you come back to the Mothership with us?

We got power back there.

I can't walk. I blew out my knee at Zumba.

- Ooh, Zumba. - Uh, we can carry you.

Can we?

Yeah.

Why's that so funny? Get in.

Okay, come on.

Ready?

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Merry Christmas!

Santa's helpers are here.

Anybody home?

So weird. We hit up every house on the block, and no one's home.

- How's that possible? - Don't know.

Oh.

All right.

- Try another one? - Mm-hmm.

Whoa.

Well, the mystery has been solved.

Yeah.

Wah! Why is that...

Oh God, sorry. Thank you.

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way...

- Hello! - Hey!

Oh, ho, ho.

What are you all doing in my house?

They would've frozen without you.

This town thinks you hide a power plant in the basement.

Maybe I am.

That's not why we're here. We heard there was an incident

between you and a defenseless gingerbread house?

- Oh. - Then announcing you're leaving.

So we all decided we wanted to tell you how much you really mean to us.

Oh, Kate, I better hope those fancy architects appreciate you.

You tell them since you added a living roof on top of City Hall,

all of the local birds have returned.

It's like working in a fairy tale.

I was skeptical, as you know,

but those appliances you talked me into, they saved me a bundle.

I bought myself an entire revenge wardrobe.

I am a total smokeshow.

Tss!

Yes, you are.

Well...

I'll make sure to tell them.

- We're gonna miss you, darling. Cheers. - Cheers.

Cheers!

- Yes! Whoo! - Cheers.

Oh!

Ooh. Ooh!

Ooh, it's hot!

Oh, sorry, I've taken over your kitchen. That's old habits.

Um, if you'd like to try some,

I've modified my treacle-tart recipe to make it vegan.

- You did? - Yes.

Wow.

- Hm. - Hm?

- Tasty? - Oh my God.

It's really, really good.

I think so too.

No, I'm... I'm relieved.

The Cordon Bleu's Basic Pâtisserie Program doesn't cover the plant-based arts,

so I will name it in your honor.

- Thank you. - "Tarty Kate."

So every time I think of a tart, I'll think of you. Uh, well, uh...

I'll... I'll try and convince my mum and dad to... to serve it in the pub.

- Oh, that would be really nice. - Yeah.

You're very sweet, Nigel.

Thank you for being kind to my daughter.

- Oh. - I can see that you're making her happy.

What more could I want?

- Oh. - We're all happy you're here.

Oh.

- You're adorable. - Aw.

- And a little crazy. - Yeah.

I love this!

Dad, I... Hey. What are you doing? You sleeping?

- Wake up. I opened... - Honey?

Oh.

What did you do to him last night?

- We were clubbing. - You were clubbing.

Mom, um, I got one last gift for you.

Um, it's my essay.

- Oh! - It's a Christmas miracle.

- Okay. - No. Come on. Stand up.

- Get up. - Roll of the drum?

- That's right. - Let's hear your voice.

Oh, no, no.

Okay.

"My name is Gabriel Holden."

"The prompt for this essay was to describe someone I look up to,

someone who has caused me to change my worldview."

"I thought about choosing Fire Chief Phil, who is an admirable man,

and at 6'8", we all look up to Phil."

"There's only one person whose conviction of beliefs

and fierce tenacity

has caused me to change my worldview,

or even have a worldview,

and that would be my mother, Kate Holden."

"My mom thinks she gave up a career

where she could've made the world a better place,

but I know that she does this on a daily basis."

"And it's not always flashy,

but she taught me in the most practical sense

how to make life better for people."

"From installing Doris's compostable toilet

to promoting an organic house-cleaning business for a woman's shelter,

she helps make an impact on the world one person at a time."

"My mom always says, 'Small acts make a big difference.'"

"She's the reason I wanna spend my life in the service of others."

'"Give me the strength to save a life' is the firefighters' motto."

Oh!

That was so beautiful.

I'll never forget it, ever.

I hope not. That was, like, my last copy.

Well, you don't need it now. You're gonna be a firefighter, right?

What?

That's your passion.

I want you to do what you love.

I support you 100%.

Okay.

- Aw! - Oh!

And, Sienna,

if you wanna go visit Nigel's people in the village,

that's okay by me.

And if you wanna get married and live there someday--

Mom, we are just dating.

Mm!

Does that mean I get to call you Father?

- Hey. - Hey, Betty.

What are you doin' out here?

- You okay? - Yeah.

I'm just thinkin'.

About?

About Chet, mostly.

I mean...

Well, have you talked to Tess?

No.

No, I gave her the old unfollow,

ghost, delete.

Well...

...got news for you.

Yeah?

Chet reached out to me,

and he and Tess have tickets to The Lion King.

- Oh, well, that's... that's cute. - Mm...

That's cute. I mean, they're perfect for each other.

They're done.

Our divorce paperwork.

Look, Al, I don't wanna get divorced.

Or uncoupled.

Let me say that again.

I don't wanna lose you.

Take me to Boston.

What about your practice?

I'll close it.

Please, Al, you have done so much for me.

I would rather be dead than be without you.

Then I should tell you...

that

I decided I'm not going.

What?

When? When... when did you decide this?

Just now.

I mean, who am I kidding?

I could never leave you.

You're talking to the house right now, aren't you?

Yeah.

So I feel like we have failed at consciously uncoupling.

And I feel like I never wanna hear those words again.

Betty, this is not the future

that I expected.

But I am 100% sure

that it's the one that I want.

Come here.

So my epic Christmas story has a happy ending.

I opened up my own sustainability company.

I'm making a difference in my community

and changing the world one person at a time.

And that "first love, walking into walls" feeling

that I thought went away between Everett and I?

It turns out it was always there, just waiting for us.

- I've been waiting for an hour. - Oh.

- You're always working. - Oh.

- Did you get the mushroom burgers? - Yep.

And, um, what about your indoor grilling stuff?

I got my pit mitts.

I'm glad you're happy.

I am.

When was sunset?

The photovoltaic panels I just installed have light sensors, and when it's dark,

they're supposed to just light up.

There it is.

Beautiful.

I love you, Betty.

- I love you, Al. - If you'll be my bodyguard...

I can be your long-lost pal

I can call you Betty

And, Betty, when you call me You can call me Al

Call me Al

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can call you Betty

If you'll be my bodyguard

You can jump to the part Where they break your heart

Dreamin' of the end Before you even start

You can play it down And keep actin' tough

Just don't stop lovin' too much

Fast forward Till it gets to the funny bits

Till everybody knows Where the money is

Say you know her when you find her But it's never enough

So don't stop loving too much

Babe, it's gonna take more Than we ever imagine

Findin' out If we're made up of the right stuff

We've been goin' In the wrong direction

Lookin' for a course correction

Babe, I really wanna Make a connection

So don't stop lovin' too much

Don't stop lovin' too much

You can cut to the end Where you've done it again

With the general reassurance You can still be friends

Let the rain come down And all that guff

But you can't stop lovin' too much

Well, I heard she's gone With a siren song

The ocean's bein' quiet Yeah, there's somethin' wrong

Every time I crash I'm learnin' to trust

I won't stop lovin' too much

Babe, it's gonna take more Than we ever imagined

Findin' out If we're made up of the right stuff

We've been goin' In the wrong direction

Lookin' for a course correction

Babe, I really wanna Make a connection

So don't stop lovin' too much

Don't stop lovin' too much

Go deeper, go bigger

Play games where there's no winner

It's not poison, that human touch

Don't stop lovin' too much

Don't stop lovin' too much