Original subtitles

Whoa. Scarlett Johansson's so hot.

She makes my pee -pee tingle.

You need to stop faking you're a monkey.

You're going to go blind. Blind?

One time, I peed so much, I came in my own eye. It felt so bad.

Okay, so this is it.

We're about to meet our long -lost stepbrothers.

Hey, butthead.

What, Beavis?

Do you think we'll ever get laid?

I don't know. I just got laid with your mama.

Shut up, butthead. Don't talk about my mom.

She wanted a cream pie for me last night.

What's a cream pie?

I don't know, but it's what your mama wanted.

Shut up, butthead.

Do you think they're smart?

Maybe they're like us.

I wonder what they look like.

Maybe they're cute.

Ew, they're our brothers. You what?

But I bet they're probably really smart.

They're probably just like us.

Yeah.

Oh, that's probably your mom right now.

Butthead, you're pissing me off.

Angel, that's a payable.

Whoa,

cool. Are you guys here to get laid?

No, we're your mom and mom's sisters.

I texted you guys.

Responded.

See?

Come in.

Yeah, yeah, come inside.

He said, come inside.

So, I was communicating with you guys over text, right?

And, like, her parents seem to be married.

I don't know. We wanted to get to know you guys. We just had to meet you.

Yeah, we're super excited to finally meet you.

You hear that, Beavis? These girls are excited about your meat.

Whoa! You girls want to see my meat?

Ew, that's not what I said.

Hold on, Beavis.

Sorry, girls.

We're going to need a second to go talk.

You're caught plucking us right now.

Venus, you dillable.

You can ruin our chances of finally getting laid.

I don't know. I think I was doing pretty good. I was about to show them my

monkey.

Shut up and let me do the talking.

I know just how to get in their pants.

But they weren't wearing any pants.

Just let the master do his work. Talk to master at work.

Master. He said masturbate.

Are you sure these guys are our brothers? I mean, hey, it's a total

Don't be so quick to judge.

You know what they say about geniuses and how they, like, live eccentric lives

because they just have so much going on in their head.

Wait, it's a total pig's eye. I don't... It just seems sus.

Trust me, I can tell these guys are out there.

We should just go along with whatever they say. You might learn something.

I mean, you're the one with the 140 IQ, so... Hey, don't cut yourself short. You

had a near -perfect score on your SAT.

Hey, baby, you want to do some stuff?

Sure, we'd love to do anything with our brother.

Anything? Whoa, whoa.

Yeah, I mean, you know, we're cool. We like to do stuff.

But you guys have a mind.

I think he sucks

So, Beavis, tell me about yourself.

I'm not supposed to talk.

So, is that like a personal choice?

Like, I kind of like it. It's like deep thinking. Like, man a few words, you

know? Yeah. I mean, thinking sucks.

Talking sucks, too.

I'd rather do stuff.

I can totally relate.

Most people just...

talk and they they don't listen yeah like butthead sometimes he keeps talking

about my mom and i'm like shut up shut up i'm talking about my mom oh i totally

get that i'm saying sometimes angel she just goes on and on and on she never

shuts up hey it's true you know you know beavis you and i have more in common

than i thought yeah

Oh, ew!

I

am

Cornholio. I need pussy for my cock. You want to touch it?

Maybe if I stick his dick, he'll, like, calm down or something.

Maybe.

Yeah,

that's a great idea.

I want to hold you up, too.

Yeah, buddy.

Don't fuck it up, Herman.

Oh my God.

Those boos are nice.

There's such a lot.

Shut up, buddy.

You guys should, like, trade off blowjobs.

What?

No. Yeah, like, at the same time.

No.

No, I don't want to fuck my brother's dick.

we're not digging around.

they're super geniuses, so they might be on this one thing.

I think you guys should bend over.

Let me touch it too.

Stop saying that.

hot. You just had your dick in her mouth and now she's kissing it.

Don't remind me.

You're doing really nice.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

You should do the same thing.

Both of your tits are in my face.

What do you guys should do?

You should 69.

What?

You guys already kissed.

Just look at each other's pussy.

Get on your back.

Good idea.

What do you guys need to do? Just watch?

You should lie down.

You want to watch me call my dick nurses?

They're really close.

Lift it up a little bit.

Here, just put it in your mouth.

Whoops.

Oh my God, that feels so good.

Oh, it's all right.

Just get it wet so I can put it in your mouth.

Get it wet so I can put it back in.

Get your tongue out.

just let me...

This is so awesome.

It doesn't feel bad.

It feels great.

These guys are geniuses. I think that they're actually fucking dumbasses.