Original subtitles

For the new world.

Mwah, mwah, mwah!

I love you!

I love you too.

It's seventeen! How does time pass so quickly?

I know, I know.

I'm sorry for you today have to spend the whole day alone.

Are you mad at us for being not come sooner?

ARE NOT! I mean...

It's nice to have you you are here but..

Oh! Right, right, right, you want to have time

for a head boy into. I got it!

Hey man! - Yes!

Hey, dad.

Still can't whistle.

Thank.

Hey, have Joe's family arrived yet?

Yes, I'm pretty sure.

Okay, okay.

We will guarantee every Things are arranged for tomorrow.

This will be a big day for hero's birthday. It's you.

Okay. Sounds good.

Airbnb has a sauna here! - Oh yes.

We'll go there later, if you know what I mean. Hahaha!

Is that right, miss? - Yes!

Alright. Does it contain gluten?

What? Yes. Yes. Yes. - Zach...

You have to take care of it It's my belly, man.

Do you miss Honolulu? - Dad. Of course.

Oh God, oh God. - Hey, let's go.

It's like a top Volcano from your butt!

OH. - Yes, I know! I know. OH!

What is that? - Nothing, um...

Everything's fine, it's just, um... - What's going on there?

Old nose blowing. Ugh!

Okay, calm down.

Are you watching porn?

ARE NOT! ARE NOT!

Relaxing here. River.

What's going on? - Nothing! Guy's stuff!

Exported YouTube videos appears on the phone

mine and it's strange when that happens...

Well, my mistake then. Let me guess -

You will wear Highlander.

That's our tradition, my friend.

Correct! Highlanders.

I cannot break that tradition. I will do it.

Absolute. We'll let you do it, okay?

But hey, if you need it anything, anything

whatever, call them me. Okay, buddy?

Yes. Dad. everything, everything is cool.

I support.. I promise.

Happy birthday. - Happy birthday!

See you tomorrow!

Alright. Love... I love you.

...he was masturbating. - Oh my God!

Okay okay.

Why everything? talk about love

sex and alcohol with Your parents must

So confused?

Like...

we can talk Is it normal?

Like... Oh...

Hello parents.

I was just going to go through the house you, may be wasted.

Maybe go on a date with her hottest girl in school.

Honey, really? OH!

I'm very proud of you.

And I know you're ready to get wasted and have sex.

I mean...

Youth is everything Rage hormones, desires

want to be wild and do things Stupid thing, right?

We cannot control that.

Nature has given we have things like superpowers

Incredible force, parents and Society wants us

to prevent it and act move as usual.

Is that normal?

Would you say no? Spider-Man?

Hmm?

And yes, definitely. You can say that for real

childish and silly but The same goes for life itself.

I mean, we all are The kid pretends to be an adult, right?

Alright. Okay, yes.

I looked at some photos and

Weird video, but you don't?

Oh, oh, oh! Delete search history! Click!

Blue balls.

But yes, I do this birthday tradition,

where I like to sit down and watch your favorite movie -

Highlanders. Why?

Because Highlander is the movie best ever!

We have Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery,

Great songs Queen's great, all

all blend into the delivery Enjoy this beauty

of pure 89's awesomeness.

You can't beat it!

I mean, me too Liked your series

Adrian Paul, don't misunderstood me. But...

finally...

there can only be one.

Oh, hey Joe! - Zach! Cigarette!

Joe jeweler everyone.

Best friend mine since I was eight years old.

And...

Um...

He... Who, who is this?

Oh, it's Jaakko.

Oh, okay.

Hehe. - Hey buddy.

Greet. What, what's the matter, man? Hehe.

Uh...

It's okay, man.

Yes, I understand it.

I'm a great guy.

Well, come on in, I guess.

So... where do we find him?

Ah. Just found you I got lost in the forest.

Lost in... really? - Yes.

Yes.

I have a kind of cold Bad sense of directions.

Help!

Help!

Are you going to cry now?

Let's get out of here.

Is... is there anyone, um... Do you study here?

Yes... I really am want to become a pilot.

Oh, a pilot. That's great!

That's amazing. - I know.

My other option is to return Become a survival guide.

Oh, Jaakko.

Do you like, uh...

Are you using any medication?

for the ability to concentrate bad direction?

It's funny you ask.

What?! - Dude!

Where do you get these men?

I have plenty of room in my jacket.

Because tonight we're having a party Spare like there's no tomorrow!

Now I have friends.

Guys, wait!

I forgot my medicine. - What?

Joe, beer has gluten, gave me diarrhea.

You know it!

Oh, yes.

You. Got it.

Yes! DJ spinning that shi-bi-dii!

Damned! - Yes!

Sorry Mrs. B!

She, she's really nice.

Just lower, a little lower.

Outdated lyrics and What is this sexism?

That sounds so aggressive, bro.

Bitch!

What the hell?

Where is everyone?

I think everyone are all going in that direction.

That's where we come in, Jaakko.

OH.

Chuc, chug, chug!

No way!

Excellent!

Yes!

Hey, hey, hey! What is increasing and what is decreasing?

This is Wild Pete, Hope you guys

will have a nice day looks and fun here

at Vuokatti Ski Resort!

Vuokatin Aateli.

Joy, life and love.

Shake, do not stir.

Let's party!

Oh!

Today will be especially special

even special than yesterday.

We will see soon monsters take over because

This is Monster Festival annual item! Oh yes.

And above all we have emergence

special performance of a superstar

from Hollywood! Oh yes.

And most importantly will have a chance to spend

consume alcoholic beverages. Don't miss that opportunity.

Damned.

It is a curtain Introduction is quite stressful.

Tote! - I was sold.

Count me in.

Seriously? Guys really want to go in there?

What about

kalsarikännit, tuberculosis Going to the forest to drink beer?

Huh?

I'm actually pregnant according to toilet paper

if someone needs it.

Meaning you.

It's a book

Oh.

Anyway, it looks like there is one party related to Covid-19 and...

I guess looks like a sexy nun party.

And um...

Wow, what an 80s party! It looks amazing!

Maybe we should go there... what... Guys? Hello?

Sexy nun party. Great.

Man, I wonder who the judges are Hollywood superstar guest?

Haha. Maybe it's Christopher Lambert.

Yes man. In my dream.

We are honored to have it You are a famous judge

in the Monster modeling competition Fest this year, Mr. Lambert.

Thank.

Yes.

It looks great.

Hello!

Is there someone there?

Jens!

Very funny.

Hey, hey, hey! What is increasing and what is decreasing?

This is Wild Pete at the Resort Vuokatti Ski Resort.

Oh, hey!

GREET!

Man, we're in it!

Hey, you're welcome.

This disease, my brothers!

What the hell?!

Man, I'm so sorry about that.

Damned!

Damned!

Your problem is the What the hell, nerd?

Oh, it's nothing, man. I just... yeah, I mean

I spilled your beer. That's a problem, sir.

Then you better Buy me a new one, will you?

Kick his ass, Biff! - Oh, please don't.

Wait.

Thoi?

What?! - No, my name is Biff.

I love movies.

What the hell are you talking about?

Like Biff. You know? Biff...

I'm not talking nerd!

Relax! Chill!

What are you? Houdini?

Just take it. Chill.

You'd better do that a tree and get out of here!

Wait, I told you he knew!

What did you say? - No, it's nothing, man.

Listen, I... You know, we're cool. Right?

I just... yeah, we'll...

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey! What is up and what's going down?!

Greet! Greet!

Well... ladies and gentlemen. Are you ready?

Are you ready to have fun?!

Yes!

Today, today will be a special day

that you will remember for the rest of your life.

Which one will be long? I'm sure.

Hold on. Hold on. Before we continue, hang on.

It's time. Now is the time The most important point of the day.

It's time to spend consume alcoholic beverages.

Instruct.

First you smell it. Then you look at it.

Then you put it in mouth and taste.

You feel looking forward to these

Good things are coming to me.

It will crawl from your belly into your brain

you and it will whisper to you.

It will let you know when Should I use another one?

Yes!

Monster Festival! Please welcome Eli's House!

So many snow bunnies! - Haha. Panettaa.

Yes! What?

Panettaa. Like...panettaa.

Panettaa. I don't know What does that mean but I like it.

Alright.

Hey Uncle John. What's going on? - Greet!

Happy birthday little Zachy!

Hey, thank you. Thank. - How are you?

How is Finland? - Good. Yes. Uh... Finland...

You know, it's very beautiful. Me Just stay in your room and relax

enjoy your privacy. Are waiting for my parents to come, you know?

What is all that noise? Are you at a party?

What? No, no, no. No meals party. I-I'm only 17. Remember?

Only 17?! - Yes.

When I was my age you, I'm addicted

drugs and work that's like a rabbit.

What? That's, that's weird.

Greet! Someone is here!

Oh, Uncle John. I - I really have to go, man.

What? To have a little time Quality time alone?

No, no. Someone... someone is here!

Are not. There is no such thing.

Listen. I got it. When I was your age

I did it all the time.

Great! Now I don't I can get that image out of my head.

Thank you very much for that. Great.

What?!

What did you just say, Zach? It's really noisy there.

yeah yeah! Uh... Um.

Greet! I - I think the giver mail is here. Um... you know...

I really have to go. I love you. Thank you for calling.

Tell Aunt Elisabeth it's me love her too, okay?

Thank!

Have a good party, Zach. - Alright.

You are only young once. - Yes. It's the truth.

You're right, you're right.

Alright. Love you. Goodbye!

Oh my God. Hello, hey! There's someone in here!

Someone...

Chicane...

I'm in a harbor. Where are you?

I'll be right there.

What?

What? What are you talking about?

Alright.

Where is everyone?

Joe?!

Damned! Run! Run!

What? - Run!

Greet! - Run!

Wha-what the hell?!

Run Jaakko, run!

Wait! Mobile snow!

Damned!

Oh my God! Look!

What's going on?!

It's like these The Muppets will attack!

Aaaw, I love the Muppets, man! - Me too!

You! Shut up!

How do you catch top this in a strange way?

Correct! Correct!

Go! Haste! Haste! - Yes!

Guys, where am I going? - Jaakko?

There is a big store nearby.

Okay, let's go!

What are you doing? - I'm just checking.

He's checking it out Who are Hollywood superstars?

Go, go, go!

Maybe it's Kevin Costner!

Go!

Hurry, they're coming!

Go!

You have served me very well. Do you want to pick a fight with me?!

What's going on there? - Jaakko?!

Uh-oh!

Damn it!

Return to Frozen!

Damn you!

I feel alive!

I don't know us Where are you going, buddy?

Oh store! - What?! Jaakko you were right!

I told you!

Try your best! Correct!

Stop! - What? Why?

We lost Jaakko! - What?

We lost Jaakko! - What?!

Come back! - What?

Come back! - Ah!

Dude! - Jaakko!

Jaakko!

Jaakko! Friend! Friend!

Wake up! - Is that what I think?

Yes. Can you feel it?

What?! - Oh....

Damn you guys! Hurry up! They are coming!

Saved by book.

Go, go, go!

We won't make it!

That's right. Don't give up on them I am now Mr. Finland.

Mr. Finland?

Do you find me attractive? - What? ARE NOT!

What? So I'm ugly?

What the hell are you talking about?!

Listen, we can do it!

Just keep calm!

Yes Jaakko, Sisu! - Sisu!

Sisu together!

Oh shit man. What are you doing?

I think there are survivors.

OH. Alright.

Come on guys. We are burning daylight here.

Go, hurry! Go! - Go!

What? Oh yes. - Go!

Locked! Sure There's already someone inside.

Greet! Open up!

Hey, thanks for the save us, beautiful strangers.

Nothing.

By the way, my name is Joe.

Natalia.

Has anyone told me? you haven't...

Hey. Wait, wait, Joe. - What?

What the hell are you doing? - What do you mean?

I saw her first.

What? Honey, please. - Hey, don't bother me.

We need to find Another way to get in.

She is like a dark angel.

Joe, Joe, Joe. Look at me.

I really like her. Alright?

We all do it.

Brother. - Yeah, man. We all do it.

No sir. You don't!

Alright. Listen. Joe, I...

I saw her...

She...

her eyes... - I understand.

There are still many fish in the sea.

ARE NOT! Don't give me that fish!

You want them to be what, crab? You idiot!

You stupid head! - You're so stupid!

You are so stupid! - Why are you two arguing?!

We need to move! We have companions.

Go, go, go, go.

Jaakko. - Jaakko, let's go.

All front doors are closed.

We need to find way inside.

Hey, we use it sled?

They will arrest us.

The safest is to enter inside and barricade this place.

Yes, Joe!

Friend! - Stop it!

Wait. Jaakko? How do you...

Easy.

I have the key.

Do you have the key?!

Why don't you tell us that you're stupid?!

Do you work here? - Yes, something like that.

Something like that? What do you mean?

It's - it's complicated. Alright?

Um, well...

These are good things. - We need to prepare.

Because... For what?

For a battle.

Should we call the police?

Did and I bet a lot so do others.

I love that song!

The first time I fell in love Or with that song.

Me too.

With your wife.

What did they say from the office?

I do not know. Some crap about--

Tons of little monsters human attack at the Monster Festival.

Beware!

What the hell!

We need support?

You are hysterical!

Be careful!

They come from Saarioisen...

Saarioinen meat factory, I don't know...

It resembles a fruit Pumpkin fucks a snowman

and a Gremlin are see. It's terrible.

The end is near. You bastard!

I love that guy!

This is Wild Pete darling ask everyone to come.

Don't come.

Arrive. But if you have a drink, you can drop by quickly.

But then you have to go. Just go. This is dangerous.

Don't come!

I have to calm my nerves.

I have to drink something Drink alcohol here.

Tommy!

Tommy!

What is increasing and what is decreasing?

Well, things The horror is happening

out at the Resort Vuokatti skiing.

Some... small creatures baby has taken over and...

they are destroying everything.

And they are killing people.

And... I tried get rid of them but

I was stuck in studio for hours and I...

I'm missing a drink dangerously.

And the weather today Tomorrow will be clear

and the slopes will in good condition.

Oh, but don't come here!

Yes, thank you.

Jaakko? Where is your device?

Oh my God. - Not bad!

Building...

Hey, hey!

Oh, it's so hot.

Thoi?

What are you doing? What the hell is going on here?!

What... Dude, them I'm just here for safety.

I'm not talking to you, idiot.

I'm talking to my brother.

Yes. - You... your brother?

He is my step brother.

Shut up you idiot!

I told you not to never come here!

Stay back!

oh...

Hey.

You are the inside girl rock band.

Want to have a little fun?

There's always room for three dimensions.

You can be such an asshole! - Shut up!

You bastard! - Greet!

Come on, you idiot!

Powerful nerd words.

Loser!

Hey, come on, man.

Let me in!

Damn it! Let me in!

Jaakko? Talk to me. Who is that?

Some drunk guy in Santa Claus costume.

I think he wants in.

Creep?

I don't see them. What should I do?

Let him in. - Are not.

We'll let him in. Right now.

My father is a store owner So I'm the boss here.

Let him in.

Guys, watch out. Beware!

Is he okay?

That's strange.

Okay.

Oh shit! Creeps! Creeps!

I'm out of here!

That bastard Sayonara! - Biff!

Hey Biff! Wait!

Damned. Are you guys okay?

Yippee-Ki-Yay, you son of a bitch!

Die hard.

Try your best! Try your best!

Guys, did you see that?

You!

Come on, come on.

Shhh... Come on guys. Let's go. Go, go, go, go, go!

Try your best.

Oh, shit. Damn, damn, damn.

Don't you shut it up? - Today is my birthday.

Actually?

Yes. I am 20 years old.

Alright. Strong. I am 17 years old.

It is still possible to silence it.

Come back!

That's amazing!

What the hell! - That's right!

Hi everybody!

I'm sorry for rushing Come in, it sounds like it's not

invited as if the You need help, so...

I'm here.

It certainly looks like them We need help, my ass.

Thank you

Yes. Thank you very much...

handsome stranger. - Uh...

What can I say?

Guess what, I just Just happened to be nearby.

Just happened to be nearby, you bastard!

Hey, how did you get in?

Backdoor. It's open. I just walked straight past.

Just go straight through. - Joe. I got it.

So sorry.

Are you...

Looks like the party is coming it's getting hot

very soon.

You know. Time's up. You know what, guys?

Thanks for stopping by over but us

Complete control Okay, so...

So thank you, friend...

Hey kid.

Have to break it down you like this, but

it seems to me that I am the only hope you have.

So what do you mean? Can I stay?

Hey, Boss. I'm fucking 17.

Good for boys. It was a fun age.

Yes!

So... a little plastic...

You don't want to choke on that.

Brother. There is gluten in it.

Wait, is there gluten?!

Damn it! - No, no, no, no, no...

It's okay! It's okay Jaakko!

Ladies, ladies There's nothing to worry about.

I will take good care of you.

This can't be good.

Zach. - What? What?

Guy. Is he okay?

Yes. Yeah, I'm sure he's fine.

Where is Jaakko? can we go?

There - there is a bar in the cabin. - Alright. Alright.

On the mountain.

Okay great! Take us there, okay?

Command?

So, like a boss?

Jaakko, you seem miserable. May I help you?

You! I have an idea!

OH! Like a boss.

Technically, he not the boss, Jaakko.

I am now.

Hey, is this true? Is this real KI?

For legal reasons I will don't finish that sentence.

Brother.

Damned!

That's good enough.

Damned. - Honey, why did you stop?

What is that?!

I've been waiting to do the thing this for many years now.

For what?

Jaakko. We talked

This is with the psychiatrist god. Right?

Jaakko, what are you doing?

Hurry up, you bastards! - No, no, no, no, no, no!

Are you happy now, Jaakko?

Oh damn that's me.

Then I will cancel the appointment

next week with Dr. Landis.

Yeah, it's okay.

Did you plan this? - Yes, I did.

I hate that place.

Jaakko, you really are an odd person!

What are those sounds?

What? OH.

Are not. It was an explosion.

Keep driving Jaakko! Please. - Yes, yes.

Looks like someone is in need

urgently to release some...

No, that's fine. Thank you K...

For legal reasons I will don't finish that sentence.

Greet. Here it is. Cabin bar.

Are we there? Alright! Great, Great! Hurry up! Go, go, go, go, go!

Have a nice night and efficiency. Kick some ass.

oh...

It's coming. It's coming.

You... you have the key Is this the key?

Yes. Oh... Uh, stepfather mine, he owns this place.

Yes, yes, yes? Correct. Correct.

So no.

Damn it, man! - Just kidding.

Jaakko! Jaakko! Where is the bathroom?

Back. - In the back. Oh my God! Alright!

What is that?

Oh, it's fucking gluten. It was brutal.

Okay guys. Try your best. Let him be.

Oh, and don't turn on any lights.

But, but bars?

Alright. But there are only bars.

OH. Thank.

Oh yes!

Um-hmm.

OH.

God, I wonder What is Natalia thinking...

Do you think she cares or...

Do you think she Like this?

You know, oh, me love a man

he doesn't mind pooping in front of everyone.

He's masculine and tough So hard that you can poop in front of your face

everyone and the smell room. And it's okay.

It's OK.

Right?

Chicane.

Jaakko! The whole place looks like a Christmas tree!

I think I'm just talking. - OH.

Thank.

Pretty!

Oh broken!

Cocktails!

Do you want? - No, I mean like the movie.

Tom Cruise Cocktails. Yes.

Oh my god, Mr. Diarrhea. How are you holding up?

I'm fine now.

Hey guys, me Just wanted to say, I...

very sorry. It's real very embarrassed. Um...

This has never happened happened to me before, yeah...

Don't go to the bathroom inside about 35, 45 minutes.

Amen. - Yes.

Jaakko, I must ask him something.

Yes.

Where did you find this book? - Oh that. Yes, yes.

It's - it's in the woods. Yes.

The savior of my life. Yes.

Pretty, um, weird stuff in there.

Looks like a diary or...

Diarrhea!

Do you mind if I keep it?

Yes definitely. Yes. I take it for urgent matters.

I'm thirsty. - Greet!

I have an idea.

Are we having a party here?

Yes, sort of.

Hey, yeah Jaakko. - Yes?

What's in this?

Oh, it's just vodka.

Yes.

Can I say something...

With you, I just want... you know...

I don't know you guys very well.

And today is a strange day...

and everyone goes on bully me all the time...

tell me I'm useless, that I - I didn't mean anything.

But you guys showed me

This life is worth living

and fight for.

Sisu! - Sisu!

Congratulations! - Yes! Congratulations!

Um... Um-hm.

Um-hm...

Um-hm...

Very good. - Yes.

I love you.

We love you too Lazy.

Yes. - Are you lazy?

Yes. The Goonies. - Yes.

Do you mind if I join? - No...

I mean yeah. I - I don't care.

This apocalyptic story causes I really want to be close.

Actually?

You are really brave feeling, did you know?

What? Oh me?

Let's get out of here.

You want me to leave?

Uh, what? Are not. Oh no. No, no, no. I just, um...

Wait. OH.

Alright. Um-hm.

Okay, oh. Alright.

Great. Uh, hey yeah, so, sorry, um...

Well, first of all, uh...

Thank you for that, and...

Second, um...

Just keep that thought. Alright?

What are you doing?

Uh, good appetite. Huh.

GREET. - GREET.

What's going on?

Very nice words.

Oh, thank you.

You too.

Beautiful? - Yes.

Beautiful.

OH.

You are amazing. Super. But, um...

You - you want drink tea first. Maybe -

Do you want to have sex?

One second...

Sure.

Sure.

If we're going to die... - I don't want to die a virgin.

Maybe I can help you with that. - Oh, help me.

Please help me.

Greet. Are you Okay?

Yes. Yes.

Um... call your boyfriend or...

No. Are not. Um...

I don't have one. I just...

just trying contact my parents.

Where are they?

Um, they're in New Mexico.

I come from Kiev, Ukraine.

But I had to move a lot place as a child because of my father's job.

I never really feel like I belong...

anywhere, I guess.

Well, I was born and grew up in Oregon -

I've lived there all my life so-

can't really relate.

It's stupid to think now, but...

I wish my dad never did got that job from Chicane.

Chicane?

Like research facilities? - Yes.

He, um... He's a scientist.

Oh, oh. - Yes.

I just wish... I can see them more.

So sorry. - It's OK.

So...

You don't like her?

Oh... Wha...

Oh, yeah... her?

Yes. - OH.

Are not.

Joe!

Zach!

KIT!

No, I mean...

No.

It's funny that you saying that, um, actually...

that you mentioned that... because, um...

Actually...

I...

I, um... I like you.

Do you like me?

Correct. Um, like...

like very much.

I think you are very beautiful. So...

Oh. Alright. I got it.

Well, for the record...

I don't think either you are so terrible.

Oh, you can be funny. - Mm-hm. I can.

I know this isn't it best time, um, but...

I was wondering, if...

you might want to have...

This dance with me.

Zach, no music.

Oh, um...

Yes...

There may be.

Don't be a jerk love just wants to have sex

Before the world ends?

I just want to dance...

with you.

Joe! Take me away. Fuck me. - Alright. Alright.

Try your best! Don't stop now.

Oh, good.

Oh, Joe!

Wait-wait-wait! Stop, stop stop, stop, stop! Wait, wait!

One second! - ARE NOT!

Please wait a second! - Slap me!

Slap me!

Oh, yeah... Just found this song.

Um-hmm.

You really have can know this.

Yes? - Um...

Okay.

Relax, Don Juan.

You are so beautiful.

What's wrong with the lights?

You don't want to know.

Happy birthday.

It's freezing here. - Shut up! Shut up.

Not on my watch.

Merry Christmas.

Look at that scar. - Where did you get that?

In a war.

Battle? - Yes. With a cat.

Ah, the real thing? - Fully grown.

OH. - Yes.

So we understand it.

You guys had sex.

ARE NOT! We didn't. - Are not.

Why do you think that?

By the way, what's up with the lights? So? Poor wiring or...

Oh... well, yeah...

In the heat of the moment, and uh... well...

Guys, guys, guys!

I think I understand now. - What?

This morning when they I left home -

There is blue smoke in the forest.

Don't recall that, no.

Well, let me explain.

Right! Don't you remember?

Still don't remember.

ARE NOT! I also saw it when...

What the hell?!

Hey, you idiot. Where is everyone?

Huh?

I'm Joe. I'm Zach's best friend.

Zach has a penis much bigger than me.

I love him very much.

I never said that!

Alright. We will continue. Them we will continue. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Um, at that time Jaakko was like -

Uh, I'm not the best in the field

hey but i think every Everyone goes in that direction.

No, that's not true.

Um... ah, your voice sounds like...

Jaa... I'm Jaakko. Are not. Um.

Hold on. Let me try again.

I am not the best but

I think everyone are all going in that direction.

I... again. I keep doing it.

Um. Looks pretty lame.

That's still not true.

No, no. Sounds good.

Is it cool? - Yes. Yes, that's good.

Cool. - It's done.

Anyway...

W-What about the smoke what about green? Um...

Well, please wait.

It's coming.

And I guess it looks like a sexy nun party.

And then there's the party Great 80s looks

really great! Perhaps none of this nonsense

What will happen if we go there?

OH. Where? OH.

It's relevant What comes to The Creeps?

You.

Whenever we kill one of those Creeps -

Green blood gushed out. Right?

And their eyes, they glow green.

Like...

smoke the northern lights.

ARE NOT? Oh!

In the book Jaakko Found in the woods...

This is my book

Well that's your book. You found this in the forest.

Here is the answer for

everything is happening here.

Oh, you mean The Creeps?! - Yes, exactly.

They are like evil spirits This is from another dimension.

Ouch. - This is crazy.

That's amazing.

Yes, it's great Jaakko.

And this book... it's like a diary.

There are pictures all about these. Look!

Oh my God.

There is a machine that produces smoke.

Ouch.

And someone set this up. - Ah.

But why?

Oh, I think I know!

Someone...

hate ski resorts.

Are not.

Alright. Are not. Forget it.

Well, it looks like it catches starting from World War II -

but I can't read anything. Everything is in German...

and Russian and yes... yes German symbols

Nazis and all that this crazy drawing, and...

and Chicane.

Chicane. My dad's Chicane? - Yes.

And somehow all are all connected to The Creeps.

And I believe. I firmly believe -

that the source of all these This crazy murder is...

from that blue smoke.

Yes! Blue smoke, my dear!

No, no. Not like weed.

Not... like... like like green...

from the machine. The machine. Not weed.

The machine.

Are not.

I want to kill him.

That's completely true sounds cliché...

birth feature wrestling, writing B movies...

But...

in this case...

in fact it might even be...

right.

Thank.

Oh!

Wait! Is it okay if I do that? - It's OK.

Oh! OH! - What's going on?

Oh my God, Dad, is that kiss that we see?

What's going on here?

Hey, hey.

I think this is cabin of love.

OH. Damned.

Um... sorry guys. That's my dad.

Hey, let's go to sleep. - Alright. Right behind you.

Hey Zach. Maybe you're already asleep.

If only he knew the truth...

I just want to wish Happy birthday to you.

I was a little surprised.

Alright. A big surprise for you tomorrow -

and I can't wait want you to see it.

You know what?

I'm very proud of you.

And I love you, son.

I love you too, dad.

Have a good night!

It's Christopher Lambert!

And they said...

Finland...

is one of the nations safest house in the world.

Ha-ha!

I hope you don't mind.

I'll be on my way soon.

That's absolutely amazing.

So you are a Hollywood superstar?

I am. Yes.

Um...

Are you okay?

I - I - I love you...

You must be Zach.

You know my name? - Of course.

Your father told me about you.

My dad? Uh?

Yes. I want to wish Happy birthday to you

on this very crazy day.

Am I dreaming? I... am... am I dreaming?

Just remember...

you only have one life.

So choose the best one.

Fight for these what you believe is true.

Surround yourself...

with friends and people loved one,

real people concern for you.

Follow your passion and dreams

and always believe in yourself.

This is crazy.

So go and pursue The greatest gift of all.

Life.

Be kind and charming.

And always look at things with an open heart.

And I promise you,

Your dream will come true.

I believe in you.

Stay safe, kids.

I will come back.

Dude, it's Christopher Damn Lambert!

That's amazing.

Thank you, dad.

I know what I have to do now.

Hey, me too.

What... - Hey boy.

Oh my God. I don't know if I have Can you eat those things?

Hey, gluten-free.

Cookies! - You can eat those.

How do you know? - That's Biff's secret.

He has bad things just like you.

Also you need energy. Huh?

Alright. - Just take one.

Alright. Uh... - Hey!

Congratulations. - Congratulations.

That's good.

Oh my God.

It's very good. - Yes.

This is a funky flavor.

What is that?

Banana.

What's in those cookies?

They work, like like a Spielberg movie...

Dude. If they I intend to kill Kurgan -

Kurgan? Guys, that's talent Highlander reference material.

Jaakko just did it. Today is my birthday...

You need to see it! - Are you going to...

You will need this.

Oh my God...ha-ha!

Thank you Ramírez. - Nothing.

The feeling you feel seeing is Quickness.

What's going on? - They are completely baked.

I feel it.

I feel it!

You know -

we are one - Yes.

We are brothers. - Correct.

Let's finish this game!

Hey, maybe I should stay here and

protect the girls ours, right?

Yes man. That's great. - Yes.

Greet! Highlanders. Take your coat.

We need to go. Austria Your coat is over there.

Try your best! - Where are we going again?

Hello ladies...

Tracking cookies.

Come get the cookies.

Hehe. It's a cookie.

Today is my birthday!

Yes! Happy birthday Zach!

Thank you Joe!

Oh shit!

Car crash!

I had sex!

I met Christopher Lambert! Oh!

You! Shut up!

I'm not a virgin anymore!

I'm still a virgin! - Yes!

Car crash! - Car crash!

Damn it!

Oh! - We're here!

Dude. Do you remember when Did we just do that?

What?

We just went downhill.

When? - Oh shit. Greet!

You are here!

That's a strong woman. - I like her.

She's so feisty, and I absolutely love that.

That's right.

First-person shooter?

First-person shooters, baby.

Yes! - Boom!

Na-na-na-na-na, Batman!

Pretty. Because you have a stick. - See.

Alright.

Oh shit!

Three points! - Are you guys okay?

Yes! Are you Okay?!

I'm perfectly healthy, honey. - Yes!

They just keep coming.

Like sexy nun.

Oh my God!

Greet! Splash it baby!

Haha! Yes man!

Splash two! Opera.

Nice man! - I like it very much!

Congratulations! - You! You!

Come here! Try your best. Let's go.

Try your best! Here! - Zach, come on! Zach!

Damned!

We need to close the door! Try your best!

Return. Try your best!

Wait, wait, wait wait, wait, wait!

What is the plan?

OH! That's genius. - OH.

Ohhh. - Smart. She's smart.

You are a smart person the best I know. You know?

You're so tall, my dear.

Damned!

Oh my God! That's terrible!

That's disgusting.

Yes! - Oh.

The way it melts makes me

remember when I ate ice cream...

Oh, hey!

I think it's playing a game.

Are you able to stay awake? You? Try your best!

Hey, I'm so sorry.

Don't leave me like this.

Oh, what a snake!

You mean my cock?

Oh, please.

Stop it.

Joe?

Zach?

Thoi?

What are you doing? What the hell is going on here?!

How did you two get in here?

Greet! You want a hologram!

Greet! Whist.

You are so...

damn!

I have this.

I have this. - Stay with us. Are not.

I don't even know your name, but I have...

I will... protect you, ladies.

Killer underwear.

Where did you buy them?

Loser 'R' us?

Now go away!

No Biff! You leave us alone!

What did you say?!

You know, you're an asshole!

Huh? You know what else?

Life is too short -

be associated with these people like you, so -

Damn Biff!

You really think that Do they care about you?

I have learned that from a true friend.

You bastard!

I know you are, but -

What am I?

A hero!

That's right!

A hero!

It's called Back to the Future!

You bastard!

Hero! Hero! Hero!

Return.

Should we continue, ladies?

Yes!

Can you help me up? - Yes.

OH. This is difficult. - Alright.

Argh!

Oh man, there's a car!

Oh sweet. What does mine say?

We can saw a car.

I love that movie though. - I also like it very much.

The three best movies ever made. - The top three? That's pretty good.

What the hell?!

Did you hear anything? - OH.

Joe, you won't don't believe this...

Huh? - That's my belly.

My stomach. I'm hungry. I'm very...

I'm never hungry like this before.

Natalia? Do you have food?

We will... - We need food.

You! Concentrate!

Please. God!

Greet! But I have a cake sandwiches! I got it from the store.

Do you have sandwiches? - Uh-huh.

Oh what is that? - Um...

I don't know? - Is it similar to wheat?

No, I think it's like... - I can't eat gluten.

I think it's ham, man. - Ham?

It's ham. - Shh! You.

Whist.

CCP. Oh!

You! Joe! Joe!

This must be the source.

Highlander 5 guys! - OH!

Whist! - How to turn it off? You?

OH.

Um... Oh, the book! The answer is in the book!

Book.

Damn book.

Book.

Book.

Uh, stab it by a car.

Let's do it.

You forgot the book.

I forgot the book.

Great! - You guys...

Let's blow it up.

What?

Alright.

Joe, are you okay? - Damn it!

All good.

Oh! Argh! Argh!

What?! - Dude, did you kill him?!

I didn't kill him. He was there, the dog.

The guy was here when we arrived.

You guys... - He's dead.

He's dead. That's not good.

That's not good.

That's - that's good. That's so good!

Zach?!

What's wrong, honey?

Okay, sir, I'm 20 years old.

You are so cute.

And you're eating regular bread.

Yes.

Oh...

Oh!

Does it say something?

What? All I heard was...

Oh shit!

Is this true? Ah... Okay.

Oh, damn!

Argh!

Not today!

Joe! Beware! - Wargh!

It's snow!

Stupid snow!

Help! Help!

Zach?!

Ninja!

Smells so...

Zach?!

Stay away from me!

It's time to explode.

Oh... - Get up!

Thank.

What?

Oh, I need to stop Doing drugs, man.

Oh...

Where the hell is Zach?!

I do not know. Damn... pickup truck!

Oh, damn!

Try your best! - Oh shit!

Where the hell is Zach?!

What the hell!

Oh shit! Damned!

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on. - Go, go, go, go!

Hello!

Are you Okay?

You look so scary. Um... how are you?

Try your best. Try your best. Try your best.

Okay here we go. I'm about to Destroy some snowy ass.

Alright!

Alright. Alright. Again.

Alright.

Try your best. Try your best. Try your best. Try your best.

OH! That poor man!

OH!

That's so close. That's... argh...

Damn it!

Actually?!

Lambert! Please!

Go, go, go, go! - Yes, okay!

Ready?!

Again! Alright. Oh shit! - Wa-ha-ha!

Oh shit!

Damn it! I have a spirit I feel bad about this!

Damn it!

Damn... Oh! OH!

They came to rescue us!

Oh shit! - Oh shit!

You will die.

Like all your types.

We will travel through the portal to your world -

and destroy it.

What?

A portal?

You know what? You just committed one classic villain mistake -

wants to become a Kurgan.

You just told me everything your plan. Yes.

That's right.

It's too late. - Oh shit!

Please, please...

Please, please! Wait, wait!

Lambert?! - Hello Zach.

Did you call?

Go!

Finally...

there can only be one.

Go, go, go! Zach!

Zach?! - Correct!

What is he doing?

Bread! Damn genius!

What?!

Go get that damn thing over there! Ha-ha!

Correct!

Stupid, stupid heads!

Oh!

Damn it! That was wild.

That worked! - That's so wild.

There can only be one.

Oh! Ha-ha!

I'm sorry.

I'm emotional.

Are you okay?

I am now.

Honey...

So...

We - we did it, right?

Joe, come here, man! - Joe, come on!

Try your best! - Joey!

Do you see this?

Key.

This unlocks it the worlds, connecting the

space dimension, Free the souls!

With this key...

I have the power!

What....

Give me the key!

Hello...

Gollum... Wake up! - What?

Dude? What happened?

You have acted as the Lord of these ring for us right there.

What? I...

What now? - Oh shit!

I think this is... It's time for us to leave!

Zach!

Try your best! - What, oh...

Guys! - Damn, damn! It's OK!

Oh guys!

Holy schnikey!

These are some serious problems.

Oh broken! They look legit. - Yes.

At least they don't have blue eyes.

You. That damn guy...

he stole key from Chicane to

release the spirits soul from another dimension

to finish what they were started during World War II!

Go ahead, Agent Mulder. Right.

Inform Chicane that We got it back.

Copy that.

Okay...

Just um...

Let's get out of here guys. Yes?

Yes. You're right. She is always right.

Yes.

Alright.

Got it, man.

Yes! Oh!

Oh...

Oh... oh fuck!

What? - What?

That's my relative. I better go.

OH.

You.

Try your best.

Friend!

That's amazing!

Joe, man...

just... thank you...

for everything.

I love you so much, my friend.

I love you too.

Whist!

Oh yes. Uh...

Better wash their hands. - Try your best!

Yes, mom? Yes. I'm coming.

Best birthday ever!

Just go! - Yes, I'm here.

I'll see you later!

Is he something? - Yes.

Yes. He's funny.

Yes.

Yes...

Yes...

What now?

Um... I mean...

I've never been to New Mexico...

That's the truth.

Um...

I think we should fix that. - Actually?

Yes.

Oh, what would that be like?

I think, something like...

this.

You did well, kid.

You did well.

OH. Hello stepfather.

Jaakko!

Hey dad. - Want to participate?

Oh, no!

Huh. Double trouble.

Ba-na-na-na-na-now!

What's going on, everyone? Tom Cruise here.

Just kidding, it's Zach, but you already know that.

So I guess you wondering about it

What happened after the date that day, right?

Well... my parents, last with them also came -

and we had one great birthday party

Great outside the slide area snow with Joe's family.

They don't know what's going on happened that night. And...

Trust me, them I kept quiet.

My dad, he was so excited Because I finally got to meet you

Christopher Lambert and so do I.

By the way, who was escaped that night -

unharmed and complete full kick Kurgan's ass!

Whether you believe it or not, we are actually in touch -

and he invited us to his house him to show Highlander -

any time we want.

How awesome is that?!

Uh, you're probably wondering What's going on with Jaakko?

Ah... that little henchman was kicked out of the house

but...

he currently lives with two lovely sexy nuns -

By the way, that person just bought a dog -

and named him Zach.

Sweet. Huh?

Joe is trying to text news for a nun...

but unfortunately she It's just haunting him.

So that's like...

really sad for you That in many ways, uh...

But I know.

I know, what do you want to know? going on between me and Natalia, and uh...

I owe you the truth.

We uh...

We didn't...

go to New Mexico...

but instead she was Come back to Oregon with us!

My parents absolutely love her!

And, yes...

I also fell in love with her.

She, she's amazing.

So the lesson is for the children.

Don't be afraid to love.

Sure, yes. Strong. Love Sex is wonderful, but love -

love is even greater!

Get out there!

Go find new adventures! Fall in love! Open your heart!

And if you love, cherish respect it. Take care of it.

Take advantage of the greatest gift that life can give.

I will quote John Hughes:

Life moves quite fast.

If you don't occasionally stop and look around -

you might miss it.

Mmm... - Stop it, Casanova.

Yes... um... and...

Okay. Yes... have lots of sex.

Oh!

I love you, Mr. Snowman.

I will come back.

Great job, man.

Yes. This already exists, yes.

Whist. Hey, hey, hey. This is Wild Pete here.

Everything is fine okay, I... I'm okay. I...

Everything is fine, I... I know if today

I heard it by chance my program

You may be under the impression that there is

something real Something strange happened here

at the ski resort. Like some creatures like, you know -

murder and similar things...

But... but, ha-ha!

I tricked you! Yes, here just a big practical joke.

Yes, this is the game Biggest practical joke

I have worked on this program before.

The Wild Pete Show. This, this is big.

Well, I was influenced by some alcoholic drinks...

I guess I ate one or two, too much more than usual.

But things - these The same thing happened here.

Just a feeling of vomiting So often later

Regular Monster Festival only every year.

Like every... every year. Oh...

And most importantly, the guest of We, Mr. Christopher Lambert are fine.

He's fine, and No one sues anyone

anyone or anything anything similar.

So everything... has returned to normal.

Forget about it and...

and enjoy the day This beautiful weather in Vuokatti.

Hey, you can bring me the stuff Can I have another drink? I really...

I'm really in a lot of pain.