Original subtitles

["O Christmas Tree" playing]

-[music fades] -[Trevor] Right.

-[beeping] -Here we go.

-[intercom ringing] -Oh!

-[groans] -[baby babbling]

-[intercom beeps] -Yes?

Oh, hello. It's Trevor Bingley.

Uh…

From Housesitters Deluxe.

Oh. Wait in the lobby. I'll come down and get you.

[beeps]

Okay. Thanks.

[baby coos]

[theme music playing]

[baby yelps]

[dramatic holiday music playing]

Ooh.

-Coo… -[dinging]

-[music turns suspenseful] -[dinging continues]

Where am I going to…

[music crescendos]

[elevator chimes]

-Mr. Bingley. -Ah.

Thank you for making yourself available at such short notice. My name is Petra.

I'm the executive concierge for the Schwarzenboch family.

The housekeeper would normally be here,

but she's been called away on a family emergency.

Hence, our rather frantic search. Uh, please.

[lilting pensive music playing]

Heh.

Do you mind if we dive straight in? We have a lot to cover.

Okay.

First, to access the apartment, you will need to use this fob.

It's not required for the other floors, but to access the penthouse,

you need to touch the fob here and press this button.

-Right. -[elevator chimes]

Heh.

[baby coos]

[tense pensive music playing]

Excuse me?

[music fades]

Nothing.

I was just saying…

[coos]

[whimsical music playing]

[music fades]

[coos]

[lilting pensive music playing]

[cooing]

[elevator chimes]

[upbeat music playing]

This way, please.

This is the London home of Mr. and Mrs. Schwarzenboch.

["O Christmas Tree" playing]

They have houses all over the world

and haven't spent Christmas here in at least ten years.

[music stops]

Gosh.

It should be a very quiet period with no client contact of any kind.

Right.

[baby fusses]

[tense pensive music playing]

Is everything all right?

Uh-- Uh, yes. Yes.

[whimsical music playing]

But we are naturally looking for a highly responsible individual

with all the attributes of elite staff.

Discretion, sensitivity, and above all, maturity.

Right, yes.

[baby farts]

Sorry.

Maybe I should show you the apartment.

-[lilting pensive music playing] -Uh…

-Would you like to put your bag down? -Yes. Um…

Yes, I'll just leave it, um…

[baby coos]

Shh!

[baby babbles]

Ah.

-[sighs] -This is the living room.

[upbeat music playing]

Kitchen.

Dining area. Terrace. Please don't touch the piano.

Thank you, Kenneth.

Upstairs are the bedrooms, the screening room, and the study.

Guest suite, guest suite. There are three more bedrooms this way,

plus another steam room.

The master suite's down this way, plus another guest suite.

[baby fussing]

The library, the conservatory, and the yoga studio are through there.

There's a panic room beyond the kitchen, but you won't have access to that.

[baby babbles]

[grunts, then babbles]

Anyway, I'm sure you have a lot of house-sitting experience

with this level of accommodation?

Oh, yes. Yes.

[lilting music playing]

Please don't touch the air-conditioning. It's all fully automated.

And it goes without saying,

there must be no unauthorized guests of any kind in the apartment.

As long as that's clear.

[baby babbles softly]

Perfectly clear.

Right, let's carry on.

[lively music playing]

Gym here. Sauna to the left.

-That's the laundry room. -[bottle clanks]

[music fades]

Lovely pot.

[clanking]

-Humidor, wine cellar. -[lively music resumes]

Utility room. Media closet.

-Absolutely do not touch that. -Where is it?

And through there is the meditation space, cold plunge, and golf simulator.

Oh. Good. Good.

-Baby? -[baby coos]

Oh!

-[coos] -[Petra] Mr. Bingley?

[tense pensive music playing]

Oh. Yes.

[chuckles weakly]

Oop.

-Come on. -[babbles]

Well, this is the housekeeper's office.

Um…

A computer, printer, router, modem, table linens, household supplies.

Um… Oh.

And these are the instruction leaflets for the appliances. Uh. Mr. Bingley?

[gasps]

Mr. Bingley?

[tense music playing]

[music fades]

[laughs weakly]

Hm.

This is the kitchen. Obviously.

Uh, Gaggenau, Miele, Wolf, induction hob, Viking Range,

two ovens at the end there, and a pantry beyond.

Which brings us to the living room once again.

[baby babbles]

[music crescendos]

Any questions?

Uh…

Well, just one, really.

When will I know if I've got the job?

Oh, you've got the job.

It started 15 minutes ago.

-[upbeat music playing] -Ooh. [chuckles]

The password for the Wi-Fi is "Dom Pérignon."

I'll leave the lift fob here. Please don't lose it, there is only one.

The cleaner, Elsa, won't be in until the New Year,

and the concierge already left for his Christmas break.

That is my cell phone number.

You are free to contact me at any time, though I am leaving for Thailand tonight.

Haven't had a vacation in two years, and would really appreciate it

if you kept contact to an absolute minimum.

Well, I think that's everything.

Right. So there's definitely no one coming for Christmas?

[laughs]

I don't have a single member of staff on site.

[elevator chimes]

Apart from you, Mr. Bingley.

If the Schwarzenbochs come for Christmas, we are all in a lot of trouble.

[upbeat holiday music swells then fades]

Happy Holidays.

[chuckles]

[exhales]

[whimsical pensive music playing]

Huh.

[delicate music plays]

[chuckles]

-[sighs] -[baby coos]

-[cries] -Oh, my goodness.

[baby babbles then cries]

[squeals]

Oh!

[Trevor grunting]

Hello, you.

[cell phone ringing]

[baby crying]

A toy. Toy…

[ticking and rattling]

There we go.

[cell phone continues ringing]

-Hello? -[officer] Hello. Is that Mr. Glee?

-Well, yes. -Hertfordshire Constabulary here.

Oh, right. Well, I was just trying to say that I've moved to a new address,

in London. SW1.

-Ah, you've changed regions, then, sir. -[timer ringing]

That makes it a matter for the Metropolitan Police.

I'll pass on your details. They'll be in contact.

Okay. Okay, thanks. Bye.

Bye.

-[sighs] -[baby babbles]

[whimsical music playing]

You okay?

Oh. I'm sorry.

-[baby babbling] -[sniffing]

Oof.

-You need a nappy. -[laughs]

Um, I might just…

Oof.

[baby coos]

[whimsical music playing]

Oh.

[clicks tongue] Ah.

[sighs]

Oh, goodness.

[pensive music playing]

Oh.

[lively pensive music playing]

A-ha!

[babbles]

Here we go.

Okay.

-Ooh… -[baby laughs]

[cheerful music playing]

[babbles]

Let's get you dried off, eh?

-[chuckles] Pee-po! -[baby giggling]

-Pee-po! -[giggling]

[music crescendos]

[cheerful music continues]

-[siren wailing distantly] -[car horns honking]

-[helicopter whirring overhead] -[music stops]

[chuckles]

[babbles]

Oh!

Milk!

[laughing]

[groaning]

[grunts]

Ah!

[gentle lilting music playing]

Here we go.

Right. Are you ready? Yes, go on. There we go.

Good boy.

You're hungry.

Are you ready?

Oh.

[pensive music playing]

Oh!

[lively upbeat music playing]

Now, where's the baby food?

["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays over speakers]

This looks like it here.

Yes. Yes.

That looks like the stuff.

I think so.

Oh. Now, Maddy used to love these.

The only question is…

the weight.

[scale beeps and whirs]

Here we go.

[woman] Nice.

Are you ready?

Okay.

-Good. And… -[scale beeps and whirs]

There we go. 8.2 kilograms.

There we are.

-[cell phone ringing] -Oh!

Well, who's this?

-Hello? -[woman] Hello.

Can I speak to Mr. Glee, please?

Well, it's Bingley. But yes, yes, that's me.

My name's Georgia Hakopian. I'm from Westminster Social Services.

Metropolitan Police gave me your number regarding a misplaced baby.

Yes, I've got it right here.

-And is the baby safe and well? -Very much so.

What time can you pick it up?

I should be able to get there tomorrow.

-Oh, so… So not tonight? -No. I'm afraid we're very busy.

We're operating with skeleton staff due to the Christmas break,

so it'll have to be tomorrow afternoon, Mr. Glee.

Somewhere between midday and 7:00 p.m.?

-Oh, dear, dear, dear. -Okay? Bye-bye.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

You've got me for a little bit longer, I'm afraid.

[imitating airplane whirring]

[tender music playing]

No?

Oh. [sniffing]

Ugh.

-Again? -[coos]

[music swells]

[exhales]

-[yawns] -[music fades]

[yawns]

Well, now.

Where are you going to sleep?

[tender music playing]

Night-night, baby.

[music fades]

[snoring]

-[baby crying] -[gasps] Oh!

Oh!

Uh…

What's wrong? What's wrong?

♪ Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep ♪

♪ And doesn't know where to find them ♪

[baby continues crying]

♪ You'd better watch out You'd better not cry ♪

♪ Better not pout, I'm telling you why ♪

♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪

-[crying continues] -[sighs]

[baby burps]

-Ah! -[giggles]

-It was wind! -[uplifting music playing]

[music fades]

[tender music playing]

[music fades]

[baby crying]

You must be joking.

[lively pensive music playing]

[music fades]

[quietly] Cheers.

[pigeons cooing and fluttering]

-[pops] -[rings]

[crying]

[groans] Oh.

Oh, goodness. [groans]

It's all right. I'm coming. I'm coming.

Hello.

You're going home today.

-[giggles] -Oh.

-[sniffing] -[ominous music playing]

Oh, no.

Oh.

Last one.

[groans] Oh.

-Oh! [chuckles] -[hopeful pensive music playing]

Nappies.

Should be just enough.

Right.

[music crescendos]

-[music fades] -[sighs]

[sighs]

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

-♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la… ♪ -[timer ringing]

-[tense music playing] -[baby babbling]

No!

No!

That's dangerous.

[intercom ringing]

Nappies.

[dramatic music playing]

[ringing continues]

Oh. Uh…

What do I press? What do I press?

Um… [groans]

[ringing continues]

Hello?

Hello?!

-Oh! [groans] -[dramatic music playing]

[elevator chimes]

[buzzes]

Wait! Wait!

That's mine!

Sorry. I didn't quite get to the thing in time.

-There you are, mate. -Thank you. Thank you very much.

[upbeat music playing]

[chimes]

[ominous sting plays]

[whispers] The fob.

-[tense music playing] -[babbles]

[squeals]

Oh, no. No! No! No!

Oh, my God!

[gasps]

[coos]

-[music crescendos, then fades] -[baby babbles]

[upbeat music playing]