Original subtitles

After four and a half weeks and 10,000 miles,

our gap-year trip is coming to an end.

Our final destination will be Hanoi.

And since we've been bonding so well recently...

I thought we'd rent a car and be a little more...

adventurous.

-The boys on a road trip. -Yeah. Exactly. It's very good.

Nice to see a bit of the real Vietnam, get out of the city.

Yeah.

Can we change this music? It's like being at a wake.

-No.

What do you... I don't want that music on.

What do you mean, "a wake"?

It's just very nice classical music.

No. I mean, you've never driven.

I'm not talking about on the road.

Like, if we... If we find an off-road bit maybe or, like, a dirt track.

Right. Well, if we're off the road, yes, but with reservations.

-But you have to follow my instructions. -Okay.

Jesus. -Swap. You map-read.

Actually we probably don't need map reading, we're just gonna...

Back in London, my father has always refused to take me out on the road.

All right. Don't drive off without me.

I'm not gonna drive off without you. You're my instructor.

I know the basics. I just never get a chance to practice.

-Right, so you start it like that. Okay.

The brake is over on the left and that is the clutch.

-You push that down, then go into gear. -So that goes down... Into one.

Now, what do you do before you draw off in the car?

-Exactly, pray. Right.

-Touch the accelerator very gently.

You need to go into first gear with your foot.

I'm in first gear.

-Foot down on the clutch. -It's on the fucking clutch.

-And then put it into first gear. -Okay. Into first gear.

-But it won't go! -It's been in first gear.

What's on the left? That's not the clutch.

Yes, it's that one.

You were telling me the wrong... That's the brake.

No, sorry, that's the clutch. The brake's on the other side.

-So that is the brake. -Yeah.

You don't know which is the brake and which is the clutch.

Well, I know when I'm sitting there what's what.

You're the worst instructor ever.

-No, I'm not. -Okay, so...

And then you gently put your foot on the accelerator.

There we are. Now we're talking. So just take is easy now.

Right, okay.

And then steer over to the left.

That's very good, Jack.

Now you're going too much to the left now.

A little bit right, right. That's it. Now left again.

-No. Left.

-I am going left! -Left!

-You're going down this ditch! -Don't shout!

-Don't shout! -We're meant to be on that road.

We're right in the middle of a fucking field now.

-Yes, mate. -Just get back, and I'm not your mate.

Can I get down there? -No.

-Yeah, mate. I got that. I got that.

I'm not Jeremy Clarkson.

-Right. That's enough. -No, no. Let me just do a little bit more.

What about down here? What happens down here?

-No. Definitely not.

-I can. I can. I can. -You cannot go over that. No!

Right, come on. Out of the car.

-I could have made that. -Absolutely fucking lethal.

-And you've put us in the middle of a bog.

Out. Come on.

We definitely could have made that if you hadn't pussied out of it.

-It looked a lot less steep when I saw it.

I am never, ever going to let you have the keys of a car again.

I mean, your behavior has been absolutely unbelievable.

Oh, shit! I've stepped in a cowpat now.

We can call Mummy's AA. We'll get her membership number. We're on a family plan.

The AA, funnily enough, doesn't cover Vietnam.

The VA?

I was just demonstrating the car's versatility.

You were showing that it can do 20 miles per hour on a motorway.

You're a fucking nightmare.

I was showing you that it can do off-roading.

No, it cannot do off-roading. -It's an off-road car.

You are such a pillock.

The pillock hit the hillock. -Oh. Very funny, yeah.

After the relative peace and quiet of Hoi An,

I'm excited to discover that Hanoi seems like a modern metropolis.

And my father is eager to get out and explore,

as he's read that this is the cultural heart of the country.

Luckily, this is our guide Chi's hometown,

and she knows a place that should intrigue us both.

So, what's this area called?

We're now on Hang Ma Street. That is the paper and decoration street.

So everything here's paper? Yes.

Not a street that you'd wanna have a fire on.

We aren't here to pick up some last-minute souvenirs for the family.

Well, we are, but not for those who are still alive.

We're preparing to take part in a spiritual Buddhist ceremony.

This shop with a lot of paper things. Like, you can see a suit, bike,

a house here, big house, and a lot of paper money,

so that we can come and buy, then we burn to offer to our ancestors.

Oh, right.

You buy the... the items here,

then burn them to give them to your dead relatives?

-Yes. Oh, cool.

So, it's basically like a John Lewis for the dead.

Yeah, kind of those. Do you wanna buy anything to offer your...

What about your grandparents who you never met really properly?

-Yeah.

-I mean, you do carry Jack's name. -Yes.

Not quite in the way he would have wished.

-Deep.

-Um, so we could get some stuff... -For Jack and Nora.

For Jack and Nora. Let's do that.

Tea? -Tea, yes.

-She loved tea.

-She loved a thermos, so that's good.

What about hats? Do you have any hats?

-That up there with that green. That is...

Yes, I could see Grandfather Jack in that. Couldn't you?

-Yeah. It's very distinguished. -Yeah.

He loved motorbikes.

-He had a motorbike.

God, I think we may be getting a bit carried away here.

Oh, it's quite a big bike this.

No? I think that would be nice. So, we've got that for Jack.

I'll tell you what my mother and father loved,

is they loved a bath.

Bath? -Yes, she has.

Oh, my God. Here comes the bath.

We literally are buying everything but the kitchen sink.

Look at it.

And we're only not getting that because I think Chi's arms are getting tired.

-Whoa... Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Perfect. I would have thought that's about it, wouldn't you?

Baby?

No. Why would she want a baby in the...

She wanted a daughter, and she dressed you up as a little girl.

So maybe we just get some of those little girl's clothes and the baby.

-Only very briefly did she do that. -I think we should.

When you get there, she can dress you up as a little girl again.

So when I die, I'm going to go into the afterlife and put that on?

Yes, to make Nora happy. With this, second chance.

-All this paper. Thank you.

Why does she have to carry it? You can carry it, can't you?

I'm taking the bike.

Well, I'm pretty pleased with our haul of presents for Jack and Nora.

Now, all we have to do is post them on,

and for that we need to visit the local temple.

I have to be honest.

This all seemed like a bit of fun when we were in the shop.

But now we're here, it feels like a really special moment

to share with Dad before we go home.

I bring you here because all these thing has no meaning

if you don't pray for your fathers or grandfathers

before sending them to him.

Jack, Nora, this is your grandson.

Unfortunately, we never met,

but I have bought you some gifts...

and I hope that you will enjoy them in the afterlife.

We're about to burn them,

so if you don't like any of them, it'll be tricky to take them back.

Jack... Dad, this is Michael here.

One of the things in here that we're gonna burn is a spade,

just so that you'll remember that time

when you dug that huge hole for Nora in the garden

because she didn't want to be overlooked by the neighbors

when she was sunbathing.

And when she got down to the bottom of the hole,

she realized that the sun didn't go down there...

and you then had to fill in the hole, and it took you nearly a week,

and you had chronic back pain for the rest of your life.

I had no idea that's how my grandmother died.

Don't be ridiculous.

She wasn't at the bottom of the hole when he was filling it in.

And now it's time for the bonfire.

-Tea set. -Tea set.

That's the spade.

Jack, this is your spade.

A few hats.

Your favorite sun hat, Jack.

A thermos to follow.

Thermos for your picnics.

One for Granddad, one for Granny.

Do you think I'm allowed to make it rain if I do it respectfully?

Yes.

That felt really good.

Time for the tub?

Finally, Jack and Nora, you always loved a bath together, so...

Oh!

It's burning now.

We gotta get the scooter on as well, still.

Oh.

Now, I know this may all look a little bizarre...

Enjoy your commute in Heaven.

...but I tell you what.

I really do feel closer to the family I never knew.

I think I may have singed one of my eyebrows.

This morning, I've asked Chi to show us

a more contemporary side of Vietnamese culture.

Something to appeal to Mike rather than Michael.

We're going to see an avant-garde artist today,

so I thought that Daddy should dress appropriately for the arty crowd,

so I've lent him some threads.

Daddy, how you doing?

No way. No way. What?

-I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. -It is worse than you think.

Just show me.

Yes, very funny.

I look like some demented pensioner who's just had a nervous breakdown.

I am not going out looking like this, okay?

Suit it is.

The leafy outskirts of Hanoi, where Chi has brought us

to visit one of Vietnam's most cutting-edge talents.

So, I'm taking you to Mr. Khanh.

He is a very famous artist in Vietnam,

and then now we're visiting his studio and homestay.

What's a homestay?

-Like a B and B.

Oh, my gosh, look.

It is like the jungle here. It's cool.

Mr. Khanh's studio homestay is a world within a world.

The guest bedrooms are perched in trees, but his art is on display everywhere.

The only thing missing is the artist himself.

Where is he?

Welcome!

-There's someone on the roof. -Oh, right.

Hello.

Hi, hello. Hello, hello, hello.

I thought artists were shy, retiring types.

Turns out that our host has not been overdoing it on the rice wine.

He is in fact a performance artist.

-Just be open-minded.

Mr. Khanh would cut an unusual figure anywhere in the world.

-Jack, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

But in Vietnam, where artistic expression is heavily censored,

he seems particularly colorful.

My place always open for people who love art.

Oh, wonderful.

-Good heart. -Open home, open space, open heart.

So, he used to be a policeman.

Oh, right! Oh, really?

You know, it makes sense, me, the policeman.

Yes. Oh, yes.

-You believe, 18 year. 18 years?

So, what was your job in the police?

Looking, what are they doing?

What are they thinking, too, before they make art. That my job.

To exhibit art in Vietnam requires a license from the Ministry of Culture,

and this gamekeeper-turned-poacher

has twice been arrested for pushing artistic boundaries. Michael has one more question that he's too embarrassed to ask.

Who is your hairdresser? He wants to know.

-Wow.

I am like a butt-fly.

-I care about outdoor.

-I'm like a butt-fly. "Butterfly."

I care outside what I am.

Well, today, that's the challenge.

To turn this one into a butt-fly. Let's get this butterfly out of his cage.

Yeah.

What happens in these cubicles?

-Everyone can be the artist in here.

With the help of these yin and yang changing rooms,

Mr. Khanh has an unorthodox technique for freeing up the inner self.

I've got to admit I'm finding this quite fun.

Oh, please.

My father's butt-fly seems to be taking a little longer

to emerge from his chrysalis.

My butt-fly's escaping.

But a month ago, he would most certainly have stormed off already.

Butt-fly, fly away, butt-fly.

Michael, where is your butt

I think he's amazing.

-I think he's raving mad.

Like, what sort of policeman he was, I've no idea.

Maybe he arrested people, but in the form of expressive dance.

No...

This is a country that had a very tricky history with art,

and now he's come through the other side of it,

and he is expressing himself.

Having temporarily exhausted his repertoire of performance art,

Mr. Khanh has come up with one creative exercise

that has a leading role for my father.

Mr. Khanh, I would have liked Jack to have become a famous artist like you

-instead of a stand-up comic. -Oh! Oh, yeah.

Going round the country telling jokes about his penis.

I think absolutely Jack can be good artist, too.

I believe that, too. It's because he understand who he is.

Yeah, I think he understands who he is. I don't understand who he is, sadly.

I think today I may be finding out a bit more of who I am.

I'm finished.

May I see it?

Ah. Very good. -You are adored. This is Michael.

I like it. -You've made me look very young, too.

What I like with your painting is you have managed to capture

that expression that my father has on his face

where it constantly looks like

his testicles have just broken the surface of a hot bath.

Oh.

Yes.

Do I look maybe just a little bit Vietnamese, do you think?

Oh, yeah, but it's still Michael in Vietnam.

-I'm very honored. -Michael in Vietnam.

-Yeah, of course.

I've done a slightly different interpretation.

I bet.

Less colors, but I think I've captured the likeness.

Okay.

Do you like it?

-Absolutely ridiculous.

I look like a monkey.

-I seem to have breasts,

which I wasn't aware that I had,

-and I look even older than I am.

It's the complete opposite to what a portrait painter should try and achieve.

Why have you concentrated on my bum hair, too, underneath?

Those are actually your testicles just dropping onto the chair.

Absolutely gross. What do you think of this?

Bravo.

He absolutely can be great artist.

Great painter, but also very free mind.

You don't want to pop it on the fridge when you get home?

I'd like to pop it in the dustbin when I get home.

Mr. Khanh, if he doesn't want to keep this picture,

then I would like to donate it to you.

-Oh. -And to this wonderful commune,

and maybe you could hang it on the wall

so when other people come and they visit, they can see this.

Jack, I'm very, very happy with your painting always in here.

-Always. -Always.

-Thank you so much. -This is for you.

-Thank you so much. -Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, I love. I love it. It's amazing.

I really enjoyed it.

I felt like it was one of my highlights of the trip so far.

An amazing day spent with an amazing man.

My butt-fly has been released.

And more importantly,

Michael Whitehall's butt-fly is now on permanent display

in this unlikely corner of Vietnam.

You know, when I think of life in a communist country,

I think of industrious, serious-minded people.

What game's that one over there?

Ah, those some traditional game they play with, uh...

-Stick. -Yes, stick. With bamboo stick.

Does this remind you of your childhood?

Not really, no.

Stick and ball.

-That's what you always used to say to me.

-I didn't say that. -Every time I asked for a PlayStation.

I used to have a stick and a tin, an old baked-bean tin,

and I used to rattle it in the tin.

That was entertainment in those days.

I was 16, though, when I was asking you for the PlayStation.

So what, when you were 16 years old, you were rattling?

-Well, I was a late developer.

Stick and ball.

-That's what you always used to say to me.

-I didn't say that. -Every time I asked for a PlayStation.

I used to have a stick and a tin, an old baked-bean tin,

and I used to rattle it in the tin.

That was entertainment in those days.

I was 16, though, when I was asking you for the PlayStation.

So what, when you were 16 years old, you were rattling?

-Well, I was a late developer.

I have to say, though, these sticks really do look like fun.

Can I borrow your stilts?

Maybe we're all late developers at heart.

It's so much harder than it looks.

That's good, Jack. Yeah, well done.

Hooray!

Makes me walk a bit like you.

I've got the wrong shoes on for a start.

Okay. Now what?

I don't think I want to move from here. I think I'll just do that. That's it.

So my father Michael wasn't big on playing silly games with us as kids,

but this is our last night and Mike's in town.

Here, let me show you.

Mmm, God.

Be careful, because you're not Fred Astaire, okay?

Now you.

That's quite good. -Get him, get him! -Ah.

-Oh, now like that. -Oh, look at that.

Now like that. Back round. Yeah.

Hand in hand. Michael.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

That was a nightmare. Harder. It's harder with two.

Show us the old magic.

Well, I used to just to do that. It was quite fun.

Oh, you can laugh now. This was a different time.

I'm so pleased that I live in the era of the PlayStation 4.

As a child, you had everything.

-I mean, not just education. -Except love.

-Of course you had love. -Except love.

-Your mother loved you very much.

You had loads of love from her.

This is what I had to put up with, Chi.

It's great fun reminiscing about how only one parent loved me

without a trained therapist there for once,

but I wanna find some 21st-century toys.

Finally, a second chance to show my dad that I can drive.

-Don't break it, Jack.

I think that's all it does. You just sit there and do that.

What, so I have to sit here and just do that?

Yeah. It doesn't do anything else.

It's a bit like you with the stick and tin again.

Oh, it's lit up now.

Oh! No, you don't.

Please don't kill a child.

Oh, my God, this is great. I need one.

These bloody child drivers.

Boy racer!

Okay, go.

Oh, no.

Oh, he's got him! He's got him! Ooh.

-He's done quite well. -Make sure he doesn't hit anybody.

He's pipped him at the post!

Oh, oh, oh!

What is it with me and driving in this country?

Fun's over.

I've got a bit off-track, in every sense.

I'm meant to find things that both Daddy and I can do together.

Luckily, Chi knows where to go.

Classical music, formal dress...

Chi's got my father down to a T.

Couples come here every night to dance, and you can see here they're dancing.

-Yes, lovely. Look. This is more your kind of scene.

Yes. I think that man's a bit me, there, with the mustache and the hat.

Five weeks ago, my father would have sat this one out,

but now, he's the one taking the lead.

Yes, I'm not... I'm not much of a dancer, I have to tell you,

but I'll certainly have a go.

Seeing your dad leave you for dust on a night out

is an unusual position to find yourself in.

Uh, could I borrow your lady just for a moment?

Hello, madam, I'm sorry.

Everyone said it was a crazy idea,

taking your 76-year-old father on a gap-year trip.

Yes.

Especially my 76-year-old father.

But I say it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Hey! This is so great, isn't it?

Bet she doesn't get much repeat business.

Good. Down.

-Fist bump.

Daddy's here.

Right. That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen.

-Got such bad chafe. -Oh, please.

This is unrelaxing as anything I can think of.

-You bastard, come here!

-Jack and Mike, father and son. -Yes.

So, we're back in Bangkok where it all began,

and flying home tomorrow.

It's a cliché, but we've changed so much since we were here last.

But one thing hasn't bloody changed,

my father's dinner reservation.

So, here we are. Five weeks.

Back in the spot where it all began.

-Yeah.

God. Amazing.

One small thing that we're gonna need to talk about before we leave,

and that is Winston...

because I don't want to get into a great custody battle with you.

You can have sole custody.

You know what? I won't even ask for weekend visits.

All right. I didn't know you felt that way about him.

-I find him odd and I--

Yes. I find your relationship with him over the course of this trip

to be quite odd as well.

-This was all about us bonding. -Yeah.

And he has been this thorn in my side.

You don't like him in this little suit? Come here, Winston.

Come to Daddy.

Look at him. He looks absolutely sweet.

You look like an old-fashioned vent act.

It's really creepy.

-Yes.

Well, I'm sorry, but he's brought us luck. He's a lucky doll.

I don't know what Mummy's gonna say.

We're not listening to any of this, Winston.

-Yeah.

Come on, Winst. Down you go. That's Daddy's best boy.

I have been very, very proud of you on this trip.

Just the fact that you've done it and that you've lasted to the end,

-and you're still here in one piece... -Mmm.

With a tattoo, drinking beer.

-I still got a suit on and the tie. -Still got the suit on.

You haven't completely transformed,

but I have definitely seen changes, I think.

And I do think you are slightly different

to the person that was sat over there five weeks ago.

Yeah.

I've seen you do things that I... I just, I never thought I'd see you do.

You've thrown yourself into it a lot more than I thought you would.

Most of my friends at school and growing up,

their dads were all, you know, 20 years younger than you.

I never wanted you to be the guy that was playing football with me,

or doing crazy activities or, you know, going out drinking.

I didn't want that dad that was trying to be your best mate.

I never wanted you to be younger because of that.

The only reason I would've ever wanted you to be younger

is 'cause I would have wanted to have more time with you,

and they all have, you know, 20 years more with their dads,

probably, than... than I will have with you.

So, for me, a trip like this is more about the time with you

and spending this amount of time with you has been amazing.

Well, I don't remember having had such good time

on so many occasions over a period of five weeks.

Yeah.

I just have to say that I'm really lucky,

and I didn't think that this would... I mean, I thought it would be all right.

I had a suspicion I might lose it, sort of, halfway through.

Yeah.

I mean, I admit that I do have a short fuse sometimes.

But when I've lost my temper, I've always tried to say to myself afterwards,

um... "Just calm down and don't do that,

because in two or three weeks' time when you're back in London

thinking what you're gonna do with yourself for the next few months,

you're gonna think, 'I wish I was still there,'

or you're gonna think, 'I wish I'd been better when I was out there.

I wish I had appreciated it all more.'"

Because it really has been a kinda once in a lifetime.

Yeah.

Anyway, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for doing it. It's been awesome hanging out with you.

Okay.

-And you're drinking beer. -My boy. -That's the weirdest thing. -Yeah.

"Bye It's not the end.

No, I said "my boy."

-Oh, I thought you said "bye-bye." -No.

Gonna deliver me some bad news.

That would be a good ending.

"Oh, God!"

What would you do if I told you that I had canceled our return flights

and booked us two air fares to China?

I'd probably tell you to go and fuck yourself.