Original subtitles

We've arrived in Siem Reap, tourist capital of Cambodia.

But we've opted for a more authentic evening out.

A trip to the theater.

Being Cambodia, there are no airs and graces.

Just rustic charm and ingenuity.

The art of shadow puppets.

Cambodians have performed such folk tales for thousands of years.

It's a magical evening, but all that is about to change

because our host, Sinath, is keen for us to get a little more involved.

-Yeah, it's great.

Yeah, it was really good.

Do you have any story from England to show us?

-We don't have these-- -An English story.

-Yeah. -A classic story.

Anything from England that we can share?

-We could do a film. -We could do a film.

What about Psycho? That would be good.

-You've got the curtain. -Right. Something more fun.

-Give me a minute to think about it.

No, I've got it.

-Classic British film. Exciting.

Trust me.

-Yeah.

Even Sinath looks concerned, hearing those words.

But Father knows best.

This is the story of The Dam Busters.

The year is 1943 and the Hun are winning the war.

Can't call them "the Hun."

The Krauts are winning the war.

Our greatest-ever prime minister and war leader, Winston Churchill,

wants to find a way to blow up the dams in the Ruhr Valley

and deliver a hammer blow...

to the evil Adolf Hitler.

I don't have a Hitler puppet.

-I'm not making a Hitler puppet.

You can easily do that. You just--

What you doing? Daddy, fuck off!

They'll know who that is.

Sorry.

Engineer Barnes Wallis...

who was played in the film by Sir Michael Redgrave...

Wonderful actor, great friend of mine--

-Stop telling anecdotes-- -I'm giving background.

Tell the story.

Barnes Wallis was tasked with developing a bouncing bomb.

-617 Squadron...

Even from behind the screen, I'm sensing we may be losing our audience.

But I've got a bold idea for a crowd-pleasing finale.

We need to go faster.

-Hurry up. Get on with the story. What?

Finally, the day came, in May 1943.

617 Squadron set off to attack the dams.

Winston Churchill was delighted to hear that Barnes Wallis had got it right.

And despite Guy Gibson getting into a dogfight over France,

617 Squadron's bouncing bombs had breached the dams,

flooding the whole of the Ruhr Valley!

Oh, shit!

You bastard! Don't you run away from me, you little bugger!

It was the dam! I can't believe you did that!

It's the morning after the night before

and I'm about to have breakfast with my dad.

Um, I'm hoping that he hasn't woken up too aggy

'cause last night he was...

he was in quite a mood.

Good news is Puppet's found Winston.

I'm hoping that might put him in a better mood.

How you feeling this morning?

Look, in the interest of the trip...

I would like to offer you an apology for last night.

It was classic you, showing off.

It was an accident. I didn't mean to chuck the water at you.

I meant to chuck it over the screen onto the kids.

They all loved it. They were all laughing.

And I got the trajectory wrong, a tiny bit.

Like, a cup-- -I was soaked.

-You weren't soaked. -I was soaked.

-You weren't. It was-- Okay. -I was.

Today, Puppet's organized for us to go to, um, a minefield,

where they have these specially trained rats

that help clear out the mines.

What are the two things I've told you that I really hate?

Hip-hop and feminism.

-Rats. -Ah.

And water.

-You should come. You're in a bad mood-- -No.

The answer is for us to have a bit of time apart.

Right. See you later.

Strange to admit, but I'd rather go to a minefield

than stay in the hotel with my father.

Travel writer Nick is coming with me,

which is a comfort, because Puppet certainly won't hold my hand.

Cambodia has about six million land mines,

which is one for every three people, and they're all over the place.

There could be mines a few hundred meters off the road.

-Yeah, literally off this road.

May sound quirky, using rats to demine, but it's a stroke of genius,

'cause these rats have an amazing sense of smell.

They're short-sighted, but make up for it with smell.

They're trained to identify and smell TNT in the land mine.

So, what we're doing today and what we're helping with is worthy.

Extremely worthy cause. It's directly saving Cambodian lives.

Thirty years of war saw factions

and governments plant millions of land mines.

But they kept no maps or plans, so the task of clearing them is immense.

-So this is the-- This is APOPO.

Mine Detection Rat Training, Trial and Testing Project.

Trips off the tongue.

Hello.

Jack, meet Turn.

-Hello. Welcome, Jack. -Hello. Turn.

Now, this is, uh, Victoria.

Before heading into the field,

it's vital each of the operatives are given essential protection.

-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

This is one of the weirder things I've ever had to do.

-And, Turn, you as well.

You as well, Turn, just in case.

We don't want your ears burning. There we are.

She's very sweet.

I don't wanna put her onto a minefield.

Of course, Victoria isn't facing this alone.

She's part of a crack platoon of 25 rats who put their lives on the line every day.

Victoria, Frederick, Ron, Wilfrid,

and, for one day only, Jack.

Although, I want a lot more protection than sunscreen behind each ear.

Yeah, it's okay.

-Yeah.

What about my legs

-Uh... No. No.

Well, it's hardly The Hurt Locker, is it?

I wore more protective gear when I played cricket...

protecting me against a ball that big.

And how can you have a man whose job is to clear minefields

whose name is also a direction?

Surely, that's inviting trouble.

Turn. No, not turn, Turn.

His friend Step Back didn't last long.

We go to the minefield?

Yep, let's go to the minefield.

Turn.

See what I mean?

Hello, stranger.

Last night was an absolute nightmare.

" -We did this...

Would've been... Anyway. Yup.

-Jack...

Oh, we had a puppet show,

-and I narrated this story. -Yeah.

He thought it'd be very funny at the end to throw a bucket of water over me.

He says it was by mistake he did it. Absolute bollocks.

I think I need space from Jack.

I mean, it's quite difficult for me 'cause I am 6,000 miles away.

-I don't know what to suggest. -Well, I've done my best.

If there's a problem, you've got to make it work.

-'Cause you're the adult. -Right.

When you get to the minefield, there are two things to remember.

Look out for the big red signs and don't step over the string. Easy.

Move in a bit. There's no string, but there is a mine sign.

So, this area is also potentially mined and you were very, very close.

How dangerous is it around here?

It was an old road from the civil war

so this was between the government and the Khmer Rouge lines,

and basically they laid anti-personnel mines, anti-tank mines.

One wrong step, you'd be in trouble.

A fact that doesn't seem to worry these guys

as they nonchalantly walk the line.

The rat can do 200 square meters in about 25 minutes.

A human would take two days to clear that area.

Humans use a metal detector. That detects anything, not just TNT. So it's detecting old nails, tin cans, you know, bits of metal.

They have to clear that before moving on.

Rats focus in straight on the TNT.

What happens when the rat finds a mine? What does it do?

They start scratching.

-Scratching.

No explode because the rat is very light, only one kilogram,

and cannot make the mine explode.

Even my father would've been impressed with these rats,

especially when you think of the vital work they're doing for locals.

That is insane.

There's a house just there.

They've got a minefield in their back garden.

Can I just say, though, one thing?

Yeah.

The point of this gap year was to bond and spend time together.

I mean, the thing is, if I wanted to choose somewhere in the world

to bond with Jack, I might choose the south of France.

I might choose somewhere like Ravello in Italy.

I don't think I'd choose Cambodia.

-If you stopped

a thousand gap year students in the street and said,

"Where are you traveling on your gap year?"

Not one of them would say "The south of France" or "Ravello."

-Mmm. -You've got to just somehow find a way...

of negotiating through this.

-Please, try and make it work. -Right. I will.

I'll try and do something with Jack that will involve a bit of bonding.

Victoria's done for the day after her hour shift.

They can only work till ten o'clock because of the heat.

It's amazing seeing it in front of you and the rats on the minefield,

and also just seeing how close people live to this.

Um... So they are really doing something quite amazing.

Putting bodies on the line to save us humans.

To be fair, if I had to walk across a minefield for work,

then I would probably have demands. I probably would only work an hour a day.

Probably don't lean on that.

Back in Siem Reap, and I'm pleased, though surprised, to report

that my father wants to spend some quality time together,

and Puppet has an idea for a very traditional

and Cambodian way to bring us closer.

So here, here we are, guys.

I told your mother I'll support you in doing this.

She thinks I'm being too mean to you.

I'm not giving you enough support, friendship,

and bonding and all those namby-pamby words.

So I'm doing it now. I'm bonding with you.

We're having a tattoo together.

Well, have you pick up which tattoo you like to have yet?

Bikini babe on your arm?

No. No. You don't think?

-It'll have to be discreet... -Right.

...in terms of the image.

What's the story with your tattoos?

Most of my tattoo I got done in prison in United States.

This I did when I was young. It says "Puppet."

I did it with a paper clip.

This Chinese letter mean "Trust no one."

I also have eyes on my back of my neck so I can see...

-from behind. -Bad boy.

-No.

I stole cars. I stole a lot of cars.

Grand theft auto.

You wouldn't be able to steal a car.

I could. -You can't drive.

You'd get in the car and wouldn't know how to drive it.

Call the AA.

What do you mean, "The AA"?

I'd call the AA, say I'm in a car and I need it towed

and because we're on a family plan, they'd have to collect it.

Before we lose sight of why we're here, it's time for our rite of passage.

Painful? Slightly.

-Mmm.

It's just painting. The things I do for you.

Now you've got some ink on your guns, you might become a bit more...

kind of "street."

I don't think it'll change my personality.

Never know.

Finished.

-Thank you. -Oh, God!

-Don't say that!

Jack, what is that?

He's put a love heart on the anchor.

-Jack... -Mike.

-'Cause Michael...

-"Mike" is not my name. -Michael wouldn't...

You couldn't put Michael. It would've been all round here.

So he had to abbreviate.

I think it looks really swish.

It is quite cool. I'm doing it for you.

My son.

I'd never have guessed this morning that today, our last day

in Cambodia, would end so well.

Two guys out on the town, sinking some beers

and comparing their tats.

Friends again?

How's it looking?

It's looking like that. Whatever that is. Let's look at yours.

I knew that would happen. You haven't had one.

I didn't have it on my arm.

No. What?

-I didn't have it on my arm.

It's a tramp stamp. -Oh, my God!

-No.

I have to say I'm not keen on this "Mike."

-Because I'm not a "Mike."

But I think you're becoming a "Mike."

-Michael was the old you. -Mmm-hmm.

He was the guy that wore suits, the guy that wouldn't eat foreign food.

He was the guy that did sit-down wees reading the Telegraph.

And he was the guy that you used to be.

Mike rolls his shirt sleeves up. Mike drinks beer.

Mike chills the fuck out.

Jack loves Mike.

Can I say one thing after what you said, which is sweet of you?

I have never sat down for a pee.

No, steady. No, no. Don't get completely carried away.

Well, after a rocky start, Cambodia turned out to be pretty special.

For the last leg of our trip,

we're heading to one of the last communist countries in the world, Vietnam.

And I think my father is owed a couple of days' chill time.

As our starting point, I've chosen the ancient port of Hoi An.

Situated on the mouth of the Thu Bon River,

Hoi An flourished as an international trading port until the 19th century,

when the river silted up.

Now, it's a city frozen in time.

Stuck in the past, gently crumbling, but with a certain faded elegance.

Remind you of anybody?

Just half a mile down river from the town center,

I've checked us into a very comfortable, old, colonial-style hotel.

Too comfortable, I fear,

because my father doesn't seem eager to get out and start exploring.

-So here we are, Vietnam. Nice.

-You did well in Cambodia. -Thank you.

And I think you're gonna enjoy Vietnam a lot more.

-It's a little more sophisticated. -Hmm.

-I notice the suit's back on. -Yes.

I didn't feel it was appropriate in Cambodia.

I didn't want to show off.

I looked a bit flash, Terry-Thomas, somebody like that.

-Nice, zeitgeisty reference. -Yeah.

After these drinks, in town we'll meet Chi,

our new guide for the last leg of this tour.

I'm going to get something, then I'll come back and we'll go.

-No, I need to pick something up.

See you in a minute.

Hoi An turns out to be a charming and very peaceful place,

partly because they've banished all cars from the town center.

Our guide, Chi, is actually from Hanoi,

but she lived here in Hoi An for five years.

-I like the lanterns. -Yeah, they're beautiful.

Lanterns are everywhere here.

Yeah. Yeah.

In the market, on the streets, in shops, in a house, everywhere.

Wonderful to be here.

Can you... You look ridiculous.

-You're gonna have to take that off.

You look so stupid.

It's really good, it smells terrific.

Oh, it's almost like being back in Putney.

You look preposterous. Everyone is looking.

-Whew.

It is quite hot under there, I have to admit.

In fact, I've slightly lost my balance now.

Where did you come before Vietnam?

We were in Cambodia before this, so quite tired now.

Hoi An is a good place for you

because Hoi An means "peaceful meeting place."

So I think that it's the perfect place for you to relax...

Mmm-hmm. -...refresh and recharge.

-Great. -Right.

We've been on the road a while, so some relaxation and recharging

-will be right up our street. -My batteries are ready for a recharge.

Chi says the hanging lanterns of Hoi An bring luck, health and prosperity.

And the ones on the water

offer a prayer to the dead and peace to the living.

Either way, it's a beautiful spectacle and a stunning introduction to Vietnam.

Wherever you look, life around Hoi An is all about water.

So, the following day, Chi has suggested my father and I

might like to head for a tropical backwater

and indulge in a spot of boating.

No life jacket today?

No, well, you told me you were a really good punter.

It's so hot and if I fall in the water, then I fall in the water.

I had a good life.

I must say that Mike is much more laid back than Michael

when it comes to being on the water.

Hello. -But some things never change.

We don't seem to be doing well on the punting front.

The punts I've been on are normally thinner.

Oh, shit.

I mean, I would offer to help, but I've still got that bad shoulder.

It's got a bit deeper. My pole's a bit too short.

-That hat doesn't seem-- -Yes, thank you very much.

Is that a boat? Excuse me!

-Talk in a normal voice. Hello.

Shush. Don't make me Talented Mr. Ripley you.

That looks far more manageable than this.

Sorry. This boat's quite hard to control.

-God!

You don't think he's a pirate?

-Quite casual for a pirate. Hello.

Hello. How are you? Nice shirt.

I've got one of those in pink, but it's very nice in the blue too.

Could you tow us?

Turns out these baskets

were invented by local fishermen over 100 years ago

to avoid paying French colonial boat tax.

Oh, that's good.

Fortunately for us two British colonials, they're still in use today.

This is totally unacceptable behavior.

No. -I'm sorry!

I bet he'll be really pleased that he met us.

Stories he'll have to tell all his friends.

He'll say, "You'll never guess what happened to me this morning.

I met these nice English gentlemen."

"But they tied a rope round my waist."

"And I towed their boat for them."

-Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. Very nice of you to...

Do you have a card? I'd like to recommend--

You choose the boat.

In the boat. -You--

-Okay.

No, no, no.

-Definitely not. No, I'll leave that. Why?

It's so weird not having a side.

That's better.

What you got?

Oh!

Oh!

Sick boat tekkers.

Well played, sir.

Right, Jack, let's see you do that.

This will be so embarrassing.

Oh, dear me.

I'm stuck.

Whoo!

Whoa... Fuck!

-Ah.

Not as good as him, but a good effort.

Okay, so I may not look too cool right now,

but with the temperature over 90 degrees in the shade,

I'm actually happy to be here in the water.

And to escape the steamy heat of the coast,

Chi suggested we follow in the footsteps of the old French colonials

and head for the hills.

In 1919, the French created the Ba Na Hill Station,

a village retreat some 5,000 feet above sea level.

In those days, their only way up

was in a sedan chair carried by their servants.

Our journey there today is a lot simpler,

thanks to the highest and longest non-stop cable car in the world.

It was considered as the perfect place for people to escape from the heat,

and now, local people here,

they still come here to relax and to enjoy the fresh and cool environment.

Ba Na Hills. -Yeah, Ba Na Hill.

Sounds a bit like a retirement community.

Yeah, well. If you like it.

Could be up my street.

-Let's see if they have any availability. -Yeah.

When the French were driven out of Vietnam in 1954,

Ba Na Hills was abandoned.

But in the last 20 years, it's been resurrected beyond their wildest dreams.

A communist theme park in the style of a French provincial town

has risen out of the ashes of 200 derelict villas.

Complete with hotels, fantasy park, wax museum, roller coaster,

and plans to extend much, much further.

What do you think?

It's quite weird.

It isn't quite what I expected.

I was looking for some green lawns and a nice reception area.

The attention to detail here is extraordinary.

Even the weather is a provincial French temperature.

I feel like we've traveled into a parallel universe...

and for the Vietnamese and foreign tourists, it's clearly a fun day out.

I'm certainly enjoying myself. Though I'm not so sure about my father.

I wanna have a picture with the monkey.

They getting married? Yes, they are.

Many Vietnamese couples come here for wedding photos.

Yes. Yeah.

Be quite nice to go into the church too and have a little pray.

I don't know whether it's a Catholic church. I hope it is.

Oh, no. Michael's back.

Who else would want to visit a church in a theme park?

So, this is actually not the real church.

It's just set up for photos.

Oh, what a disappointment.

It's not concrete.

It's like a set.

So, why was it built? Why did they make this?

Well, in 1919, French people built lots of villas.

It's like a village for French people to live.

So, there was actually a church, but they rebuilt for tourism.

It's for people to feel like they've been to France

-without having to go to France. Yeah.

That's what you say,

is that the only downside of France, as a place, is the French.

Yeah. True. Well, that is true.

So, everything is... I mean, that's not even wood.

No, that definitely is wood.

-No, it's not. -That is...

The wood is real, I think. -Maybe it is.

Oh, this is very me, as a Catholic.

-Oh, no. -It's the confessional.

Could this be your chance, Jack, to get some stuff off your chest?

Well, I suppose, in the spirit of our new-found closeness,

there shouldn't be any secrets between us.

-Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. -Mmm-hmm.

How long since your last confession, my son?

Never.

"Never"? That isn't an answer to "how long." I've never done one. I'm not Catholic.

What are you here to confess?

Oh, I'm actually gonna confess something.

-And remember... -Yeah.

-Catholic rules. -Mmm-hmm.

What's said in the booth,

-stays in the booth. -Mmm-hmm.

You know you have bottles of vodka in your cabinet that you collect?

Yeah.

-You never open them as they're there-- -They're for decorative purposes. One of them is water now. Maybe more than one is water now.

Me and Barnaby have, on several occasions,

decanted the vodka out of your bottles and replaced it with water,

because we know you won't drink it.

-A priest wouldn't say that. -And your brother.

A priest would not say, "You're such a little shit." He'd forgive me.

He'd probably tell you to fuck off too after that confession.

Can you give me a Hail Mary and we can go on roller coasters?

This isn't a proper confessional, you realize that?

No, you can't be annoyed.

-I am annoyed. -You can't.

-I am annoyed. Sorry. -It was in confession.

No, the minute you step out, it's--

No. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It was a silly game.

Two bottles.

Four.

Right, so what's next, then?

What, indeed. Well, your guess is as good as mine.

Suffice it to say, Versailles meets Vietnam

is not a sight I think I'll forget.

I love this guy.

-Hello. I'm Jack. -Hello.

Nice to meet you. Anastasia.

-Yulia.

-Nice to meet you.

That was great.

Are you all French?

We're from Ukraine.

Oh, Ukrainians! That's...

Do you do this every day at the park, these shows?

-Every day we come, so... Yeah, yeah.

This guy, I absolutely love.

-This guy is my hero. -Thank you very much.

-Wonderful moves. Wonderful moves.

If you wanna skip a show, just let me know,

-and I'll jump into your tights, and...

That sounded better in my head.

Father, come have a photo with the princes and princesses.

-I look like I'm the bachelor. Look at the man.

Don't show this to Mummy.

If I'd known, I would have worn my britches.

Whoo!

What's that one you do?

Oh, yeah.

I never thought I'd ever see my father letting himself go like this.

Michael may not have enjoyed that full moon party,

but Mike here has picked up some great shapes.