Original subtitles

Cambodia.

I don't know much about this country,

but we've been warned it's going to be a lot tougher than Thailand.

And if our new guide, Puppet, is anything to go by,

I think it will be.

Let's just say that Puppet isn't as sweet as his name might suggest.

Certainly not one for small talk.

Or any talk.

We're waiting to catch a train

to the old French colonial town of Battambang.

And having been traveling for almost a day now,

I can tell that my father is not in a good mood,

and I fear it's about to get worse.

What's that noise?

That's the train. God!

What is this? Wow.

It's the bamboo train.

Yeah. Oh, good.

This isn't a train. It's a trolley.

Why don't you put him with the other kids?

I don't really see the logic

of switching from a van with a roof and seats to this.

But I am not going to argue with Puppet.

Although my father looks tempted.

How fast does it go Um...

Not that fast.

It goes quicker than this?

Yeah. Oh, good.

Wow. A bullet train.

It's more like a roller coaster ride than a train.

I think probably the Orient-Express, or whatever it was called,

Just. I kind of love it, though.

Yeah. It's got a very "you" feel about it.

A lovely way to see the countryside, though.

It is.

Can I hold your chicken?

What are you planning to do with that

-Um... yes.

-Definitely not. No.

Another train coming this way. What?

Another bamboo train is coming this way.

What happens?

Presumably, that one will go into a siding.

We need to get off. What?

-We need to get off.

'Cause they have more people than us. We have to give way.

-But we have the chicken. -We have a chicken.

No, sorry. Chicken beats dog.

The less people on the bamboo train,

we have to give way to the people that have more.

And it's not quality against quantity?

So we have to give them way.

Do these people not know who we are?

Excuse me. Can someone take the cock back?

Absolute fucking farce, this is. I tell you, heads will roll.

They have more people. Stand here.

They could easily get off and let us through. He has a dog and she has a chicken, to be fair.

It's nearly lunchtime, too. I was told there was a restaurant car.

Michael, you sit with the women and children. Men are at work.

Boys, let's take this off.

Turns out this could take a little longer than I thought.

Apparently, you have to take the whole thing apart to lift it off.

I'm amazed these trains ever caught on.

Oh, it's hot.

-I don't need any help. I had it. It's okay.

Just there.

Do you wanna come through?

-See you later, bye-bye. Bye-bye!

Bye.

We definitely have more people. They mugged us off.

Everyone back on?

I don't want to sound like my dad, but if another train comes along,

I think we just tell them to go fuck themselves.

We finally arrived in Battambang.

And I've never been more relieved to reach a destination in my life.

After a pretty stressful 24 hours, it's a welcome change of pace.

Home to quaint cafés and French colonial architecture,

I'm hoping this should lift my father's mood. I'm just relieved to see that the Bambu Hotel

has a different vibe to the bamboo train.

However, there may be a slight fly in the ointment.

I can't find Winston.

I think I might have left him on the train.

Oh, dear.

There's something I want to tell you.

Yeah?

Promise me, before I tell you, that you won't overreact.

-No.

-No, sorry. Sorry, forget-- -Why did your--

Forget that. I don't know why I said it.

-Well, no...

-Let's just forget that. -Yeah, let's forget that.

-It's not that.

Well, I've lost Winston.

No. What do you mean, lost him?

I think I gave him to one of those kids. And so, I forgot.

I was thinking about getting the bags,

and you were making me carry all the bags like I'm your personal butler.

But I've spoken to Puppet, and he's going to look for him.

Just imagine if it was a real child. If it was your own child,

would you possibly leave him on a bamboo train?

Did you really think I was going to tell you I'm gay?

Let's just forget about it.

It's not quite that simple, 'cause you said it, so...

Some people, when they see your act, you're quite...

You are quite gay, aren't you?

When you walk around the stage, you go a bit, sort of,

what I would call "how's your father?"

Right. So shall we head off into Battambang?

See a bit of the town? Try and find a restaurant?

I'm not really up for it at the moment. I'm a bit drained.

I'll go out and find somewhere, and we can meet there for dinner.

Yeah, okay. No, that's fine. I'm up for dinner.

-I'll give you a text. -Fine. Okay.

I'll see you later.

Leaving my father to rest and Puppet to track down Winston,

I'm off in search of food.

And my friendly tuk-tuk driver, Tra Tra,

has promised to take me off the tourist trail.

If I know anything about food,

it's the importance of eating fresh and eating local.

Although I'm not too sure how sound that advice will be around here.

Okay, Jack, this is the local market we call Boeung Chhouk market.

It's the local one.

All my friends and my family, even me, come to shop over here.

I wouldn't wanna walk down here on a hangover.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

-Okay, cool. -I get quite squeamish

on the fishmonger's counter in Waitrose, and they're behind glass.

Seeing it actually writhing around... Look at that!

-That's still alive. -Whack it!

-Give it a whack.

-Okay. Tra Tra. What's that?

-It's the water beetle. Look. -Thank you.

No. No, Tra Tra!

Would you eat it?

Uh, I think I would probably not eat a water beetle.

-Frogs. Very French. -Yes, that's a frog.

Do you like it?

This is more than the leg. Oh, my God. That one's moving,

-and it hasn't got a head. It's still alive.

That's the rat.

That's rat? Yes, that is the rat.

-Yeah.

We eat a lot of things, because Cambodia is a very poor country

and we learn to eat anything. We learn to eat anything.

I'm going to show you one thing. It's amazing.

-If that's alive, I'm fucking off. -Wait to see it!

-No, Tra Tra.

I'm not great with snakes.

Jack, come here. Look. -I don't like snakes.

This is cobra. All the men in Cambodia like it.

-Yeah, cobra is the most delicious one.

-All the men like it... Madam!

That was not funny.

Frankly, I'm rapidly losing faith in ever finding somewhere for dinner with Dad.

However, Tra Tra is adamant he knows just the place.

To be honest, Tra Tra, I can't see anything that I wanna eat.

Even your bananas look a little bit moody.

I know one restaurant. It's a local restaurant. It's amazing.

No, Madam! Stop whipping me with your snake!

Okay, let's go to the restaurant. Where is it

Frankly, I'm rapidly losing faith in ever finding somewhere for dinner with Dad.

However, Tra Tra is adamant he knows just the place.

Hey, Patrick, Patrick. Sok sabay.

Hello, how are you? -Patrice. Welcome to my place,

-Madison Pub. Thank you.

At last, some good fortune.

It turns out that Patrice trained in France as a chef

and is willing to prepare a feast fit for a king.

Sounds too good to be true.

-Bonjour. -Bonjour.

Thank you for letting me into your kitchen.

-Today, we will start with a...

something, appetizer, for snack on snake.

-Yes, I love cooking French

-with ingredients of Cambodia. -Okay.

Oh, God.

What does snake taste like?

Texture is a style of the chicken, you know?

Everyone says everything tastes like chicken.

This is going to be a tricky watch for a vegetarian.

Yeah, but it's all natural.

Little batter?

Oh.

First dish? First dish.

-Snake calamari.

That's good. It's very good.

A surprise. -It's definitely a first.

I like that. Very good.

That's French for "Bring me the skunk anus."

So, Patrice, what's the next dish?

Duck salad. I love duck.

Something weird is coming.

-Oh, Patrice, no. That egg is off. -It's the yellow.

Is it a fetus? It's a fetus, yes.

I mean, Patrice, the phrase "polishing a turd" springs to mind here.

Delicious.

There we are. A duck fetus salad.

Tra Tra...

duck fetus.

-Mmm.

-Lovely jubbly. -Lovely jubbly.

-Yeah, it's amazing. -Tra Tra, take it. It's yours.

Okay. Thank you so much. Mmm.

Okay.

Now the main course.

A simple stir-fry with one secret ingredient.

Rat.

It's got a tooth! It's got a tooth in its face.

I don't know if I can eat that.

Take for you the best.

Let's leave the tail.

Is there a wine pairing with this?

Fucking hell.

Do you like it?

It's quite nice.

This is what I didn't want, Patrice!

I don't even know what part of its anatomy that is.

Arm -Arm.

Rat's arse. I'm eating a rat's arse. -I'm eating a rat's arse. You're brave.

And it's really good.

Patrice...

He's a pretty experimental chef.

And I've got Dad coming down.

I'm not sure whether he's gonna go with any of that.

I'm slightly in shell shock, to be honest.

Now, you may recall my father didn't like street food in Thailand.

So I think that when it comes to Cambodian cuisine,

discretion will be the better part of valor.

Have you decided what you're going to have?

Um...

I think I'll start with the calamari.

Wonderful choice.

Could I push you in the direction of the duck salad?

I've heard good things.

Yeah, okay.

-It's like the one they do at The Ivy. -Okay, I'll have that.

Why are you smirking?

I'm happy to be here. With you. Dining out.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Hey. Calamari.

Lovely. Thank you, Patrice.

And the moment of truth.

It's actually rather nice, this.

I think this is delicious.

Well, who'd have thought it?

Yummy.

After a tough first day,

it seems a good night's sleep and some Cambodian home cooking

has done the trick,

as this morning, my dad is up early and raring to go out and explore.

And for once, there is a trip that we both want to take.

One OAP, one child. Two tickets. Yeah?

Child ticket.

The excursion has been arranged by Nick, a travel writer who was born in Watford

but has lived in Cambodia for the last 16 years.

Smiling.

Yeah. Okay. All good. Thank you.

Nick, I have to be brutally honest

and say this is certainly not what I expected in a temple.

There seems to be nothing religious here.

You'll be pleased to know it's only the checkpoint.

There is a temple to come.

Angkor Wat's the biggest tourist attraction in Cambodia.

They get millions of visitors a year. Hence, all these ticket windows.

It's the cash cow of Cambodia.

Nick is an Angkor expert

who is here specifically to make sure we behave ourselves.

You seem to have got into my photo.

It's meant to be a photo of me,

-and he's gurning behind me. -Photobombing you.

And so far he's not doing too well.

Don't touch any of the carvings.

I wouldn't do that.

Moving or taking archaeological artifacts.

They know what us Brits are like.

-No stealing artifacts. -Graffiti, too.

Graffiti is prohibited. Good to know.

Any act of exposing sexual organs

and nudity in public area is a crime punishable by law.

I've never been anywhere in the world, and I've been to--

That says, "Don't get your knob out."

"Don't get your knob out. It's a crime punishable by law." With our passes and sexual organs safely in our trousers,

we are finally permitted through the gates of Angkor.

And it doesn't disappoint.

Welcome to the world's largest religious building.

Gosh.

When I say Angkor, you say...

What?

Don't be ridiculous.

-Look at that. That is impressive. -It is.

I can see why they warn people not to take out their sexual organs.

And it is very, very impressive.

The name actually means "the temple that is a city,"

and it's just on an immense scale.

It features on the Cambodian flag. It's a national symbol of pride.

It's on the national beer, the national television station.

Angkor is ubiquitous in Cambodia.

And butter, too. There's an Angkor butter, isn't there?

-That's different. It's not Angkor butter. Yes, it is.

You thought Anchor butter was named after Angkor Wat?

He said about these brands...

Yeah. Beer and stuff.

After this, we're going to see the Lurpak temple...

Flora temple. We've got them all. Yeah.

I Can't Believe It's Not a Temple.

Despite the thousands of tourists swarming the temple,

once you get inside the heart of Angkor Wat,

it is surprisingly and eerily peaceful.

This is known as Preah Poan, or the Gallery of 1,000 Buddhas.

It really is the sacred heart of Angkor Wat.

If you look around, you'll see the level of detail and carving on every spot

of every wall. It's incredible.

They're quite saucy, those images.

Yeah. Yes, they are.

They're heavenly maidens, or apsaras, so they've been rubbed a lot.

Looks like someone got carried away over that one in the corner.

If you need to improve your karmic balance,

go visit the monk. He'll give you a blessing.

That will redress all the wrongs you may have done.

I need a few blessings, I think. You certainly do.

Everyone needs happiness, so I bless them to get happiness.

-We'd like some happiness. -Yeah, yeah. Happiness.

Thank you.

God bless you.

-Thank you very much. Thank you.

Excuse me. Where are you from?

-We're from London.

-London. Yes.

-We are father and son.

Father and son, yes, yes.

We're traveling round Southeast Asia on a gap year.

-Yes. -That's nice.

-Welcome to Angkor Wat. Thank you very much.

We can now make a prayer because you've blessed us?

Yes.

-I pray for good fortune in the future. -Yes.

My father prays he can get up from this kneeling position.

-Yeah. Yes, yes. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

While our friend Mung here makes it look easy,

you may be surprised to know that being a monk takes some training.

Welcome to monk school.

Here, 300 pupils study English, maths

and, of course, the teachings of the Buddha.

However, this afternoon, they're about to get a lesson they may never forget,

as I've been asked to take a class myself.

What would you like to teach all the monks?

-English.

-Great! -Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to.

All the monks love English.

I was a teacher back home in England.

I taught for four years in a school called Abbey Grove,

-so I've had some teaching experience. -Yes.

-He wasn't a teacher at all. -I was.

He was in a sitcom playing a teacher. That's a very different thing.

Fictional teaching is also teaching, just so you know.

Do you have a mortar board and a gown?

When it comes to getting into character, I do like to dress the part.

But this wasn't quite what I had in mind.

-Yeah, it's great. I love it.

Okay. It's nice.

It reminds me of a toga party.

-Toga! Toga! Toga! -Good. Yeah.

Jack talking about his teaching experience...

I mean, he was in a bloody sitcom,

and not a very good one, either... Bad Education, playing a teacher.

-I feel a lot of gravitas in this. -Yes.

-I'm walking ten feet tall. -Yes.

I mean, just seeing Jack,

that boy is developing a very, very severe messiah complex.

God knows what's going on.

Is it just me, or was that dog lame a minute ago?

Walking fine now.

-On your way. Sorry.

Funny, was it?

I think I might have slightly oversold my skill set.

I'm about to teach a class of 30 devout Buddhist monks.

What do I teach them?

I've never taught an actual class in my life.

-Sok sabay. Sok sabay.

Good morning, children.

They're not children. They're young men.

Okay. Sorry. It's what you...

It's normally what you say as a teacher.

Good morning, monks.

I am your teacher for today, Mr. Whitehall.

I'm going to teach you some words

that I don't think you're gonna find in any of your English textbooks.

But words that the young people, the yout', are using back in the UK.

So first up, we are going to be looking at a word that is used a lot in English.

-"Banter." Repeat after me. Banter. Banter.

Say you are down the boozer with a couple of your mates, sinking a few jars...

They're not going to be down at the boozer, sinking jars.

They're not allowed to drink. So that is the most ludicrous analogy.

Okay. -So try and be sensible.

And give me the example.

Thank you. Good question.

An old git is an old man, a sad man, an angry man, a grumpy man.

Class, if we look to this gentleman over here

and we all say together, "Old git."

Old git. Wonderful.

-"Old git." Old git.

I have one question about "old git." So, what is the meaning of "old git"?

And give me the example.

Thank you. Good question.

An old git is an old man, a sad man, an angry man, a grumpy man.

Class, if we look to this gentleman over here

and we all say together, "Old git."

Old git. Wonderful.

Very funny, Jack. I could see that coming a mile off.

Cockney rhyming slang. First up, "boat race."

Boat race.

-Boat race. That's your face. Boat race.

He likes that, yeah. Nice boat race. You've got a cheeky boat race, mate.

Next up, "Pete Tong." It's all gone Pete Tong, wrong.

"Barney." Barney Rubble, trouble.

-"Trouble and strife." Trouble and strife.

What could that be? Trouble and strife.

Trouble and strife.

Trouble and strife, wife.

I just got overexcited.

Tommy Tank.

Is there a Buddhist hell? I think I may soon find out.

I think I've got some quite bad karma coming my way.

That's not a good sign.

Tommy Tank.

Is there a Buddhist hell? I think I may soon find out.

I think I've got some quite bad karma coming my way.

That's not a good sign.

I'm sorry.

I'm not sure how much the monks learned this afternoon,

but I'm getting to understand that despite my unnerving first impressions,

beneath the surface, Cambodians are a warm and friendly bunch.

But to really understand them, you need to know their history,

and my trusty friend Tra Tra believes there is one place we really must see.

Twelve kilometers outside of Battambang, rising out of the flat plains,

is the mountain Phnom Sampeau.

And looking across the valley is its historic pagoda,

which holds a dark past.

This temple, it's very famous in Battambang province.

During Buddhist New Year, a lot of Buddhist people come to pray.

And when they are praying, incense smoke goes round the temple.

The temple looks like it's floating in the sky.

It looks like paradise.

But there is a different story about this temple.

During Khmer Rouge, about 1975, it became a prison.

Yes.

A lot of people have been tortured in this place.

What happened with religion during the Khmer Rouge?

During that time, all the religions must be destroyed.

They turned all the monks, the nuns, the priests to simple people,

or they killed them.

The monks were the intellectuals, weren't they?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they kill people who wear glasses,

people dressed like they would in an office.

You said people who wore glasses?

Yeah, people wearing glasses.

-So that would have been the end of me. Yeah.

They don't want to keep all the smart people.

Why did these people want to do that?

Why did they want to destroy everything good about their country?

Because they wanted no poor, no rich, everyone in the same position.

-What, like a sort of communist... Yes.

If people don't listen to them, they must be killed.

They killed their own people.

Forty years ago, the Khmer Rouge committed genocide

on an almost unimaginable scale.

It's estimated that over two million Cambodians were killed.

A third of the entire population.

And behind the temple, Tra Tra wants to show us a powerful reminder

of the brutality of that regime.

Today, this cave is a sacred shrine.

That hole is about 20 meters high, so no one alive in that time.

Even the children.

When they want to kill the parents, they also kill the children,

Ten thousand people got killed in this cave.

They took all of them up to the top of the cave there.

They just blindfolded people and forced them to kneel down

and hit them by the neck. Bang.

And they pushed them down into the cave here.

That hole is about 20 meters high, so no one alive in that time.

Even the children.

When they want to kill the parents, they also kill the children,

because when they want to cut the grass, they want to take off the root, too.

And these were your own people doing this.

Your own people were throwing the children. That's the terrible thing.

Are there lots of other mass graves all over Cambodia like this?

Yeah. There are more than 300 killing fields and killing caves.

You were alive when it happened? When it was going on?

Yeah. I mean, I was in my early 30s.

'Cause it was happening so far away.

It was the other side of the world. It was...

has shown how resourceful and resilient Cambodians are.

Thank you.

And, as if to prove it, just over the ridge,

crowds are gathering expectantly at another entrance to the caves.

It's so eerie.

These poor people.

Despite such recent tragedy, everything we've seen so far in Cambodia

has shown how resourceful and resilient Cambodians are.

Thank you.

And, as if to prove it, just over the ridge,

crowds are gathering expectantly at another entrance to the caves.

Armed with beers and snacks,

everyone is here to witness a spectacle that takes place every night at 6:30 p.m.

like clockwork.

Oh. Oh.

-That was something. There's something happening.

Oh, look. Yes.

Wow.

Look at that. It's the bat show.

Unbelievable.

There's so many of them.

Don't you think that's great, though? Seeing that cave, its horrific past.

It's been used as an open grave,

and now they've turned it into something good.

They've turned it into this amazing show,

and there's people here having drinks, enjoying themselves.

It is amazing, but I kind of feel like now it's probably time to wrap it up.

I know when I've been on stage for too long.

You get a sense an audience are looking at their watches.

I've never noticed you do that, actually.

No. I've noticed the audience,

-but I've never noticed you realizing. Right. No, well...

Well, I'm happy to say that after a tense few days,

for the first time in Cambodia, we're both beginning to relax.

Daddy, fuck off!

He's a nightmare.

-You bastard, come here! -Daddy!