Original subtitles

You never have to feel that the night is yours alone.

Rushing through the storm, captivated by the world beyond.

You are alone.

It's a small world that you've grown.

No, I'm going for a piss.

You're

all

right,

Tommy? Yeah.

What time's the buffet opening?

Is that all you ever think about?

Give it a shout, don't worry.

Good.

Are you going to come out when she cooks the cake?

Or do you want me to see if she'll fetch it in here?

Piss off.

Gents, if you want a request, I'll do my best.

And there's always a karaoke if you're feeling brave.

Now, I've got a little request here. Can I please play something for Tanya

behind the bar?

You may or may not know this, ladies and gentlemen, but it's Tanya's last night

tonight.

Apparently, when she ended a notice...

This is what she said.

Please, please let me go.

And Ken...

I was up till 4 o 'clock this morning sorting this out with tosses like you.

Now, does anyone want to know what he said next or have I just wasted my time

here?

Er,

I do, Joe.

Right, where was I then? What did he say?

Please release me.

No, no, she'd handed a notice in. She said please release me. That's right,

Luffy, she said please release me. So what did he say next?

Please don't go.

And she said, er, but the money's no good. That's it, it's giant losers.

Anyway, this is what he said next.

Is he having that?

He ruined that, eh?

Alright.

Thanks, look.

Keith's friend's mate, Melanie's dad.

Oh, hello, I'm Debbie.

Oh, have you got a drink, look? I'm just waiting.

I'll get you one, then. What are you having?

Oh, I'll have a G &T, please, Keith.

Large one?

I bet you'd say that to all the girls.

Hey, tick -tock.

Hey, love, when are you ready? Over here?

Yeah, I'll be with you in a minute.

You take your time, love. Keith's going nowhere tonight, unless your mate has

got any ideas.

Hey, Dave, tick -tock.

So you're Melanie's dad, are you? That's me, Keith Braithwaite. I'm very proud

of her, I am too.

Have you got any kids, Deb?

No. No, not me. Yes, Keith.

No, I'll get it, Ken. I'm finished here now.

No, you won't. You can get some of these glasses washed.

Can't you see we're only short?

I'm sorry.

A pint of bitter, a large G &T, and whatever you're having, Ken. All right,

thanks, Keith.

What's in your figure, are you? Hey, Deb's chick -chop.

Anything else, Keith? Just hang on a minute, Ken. Just hang on.

Mel! Melanie!

Yeah? What are you having, darling? You ever drink?

Dean, you having one?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll have another one, please. Another pint for Dean, please,

Ken. Will you have your milk? No, no, I'm all right, thanks.

All right?

All right, you're having one. If I can't buy my own daughter a drink on her 21st

birthday, that is a poor dish, eh?

Come on, have a Bacardi and Coke, come on.

I think she's pacing herself a little bit, Keith.

What, on her 21st?

What a load of crap.

A Guardian coat, please, and make it a large one. Thank you, Jen.

Yeah, I'm ready for another cake.

Bloody hell, Debbie.

Are you enjoying it, love? Oh, yeah, great. Yeah, you?

Yeah, I'm having a whale of a time.

You all right, Dean?

Yeah, great, mate.

Hey, do you need any more pop -up?

Oh, no, no, not that last stuff you sold me, mate. No, no, it blew my head off.

It's a bit strong, wasn't it? Are you telling me? Have you seen Phil? He's

on it all...

Yeah.

21 years, eh? I was just thinking, where's that gone? I know.

You've had some good luck, me and you, haven't you?

Yeah.

I'm going to miss you like mad when I move out. You know that, don't you?

Of course I do.

Dad, why don't you ask Tanya if she'll stay? I bet she would if you asked her,

you know.

No chance.

She let me down when she handed her notice in.

She knows how much I'm going to miss her behind that bar.

You're not going to miss her behind the bar. You're just going to miss her.

That's the real reason you're upset.

Mel. Hayley and Jack are here.

Just come in.

Why don't you just tell her that, Dad?

Poor Ken.

When he came up last week and told me she'd handed a notice in, I could tell

his face it was tearing him apart inside.

Knocked him for six, hasn't it? It has.

I tried to be strong for him, Winnie, but as soon as he went back down, I just

cried and cried.

Oh, dear.

When will I ever get the chance of a nice conservatory again?

Yo, yo.

The buffet's open.

Hey, have you seen it in here tonight? Hey, Ken, brilliant. I bet you'll miss

all this when you go.

I will, pal, I will.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to take your life into your own hands as

Ken's buffet is now open.

It's not a nuclear attack, Tommy. It's a bloody bull thing. Oh, bloody hell.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen.

Feel free to have a go on the karaoke while I'm away. But for now, I'll leave

you with a little bit of Chris Rea.

We're on the road to hell at Melanie's 23rd.

Nothing. Nothing.

Hey,

Joe. Joe.

What? We'll have a go on the karaoke.

Oh, right, right, right.

Okay, what do you want?

This one here. No problem, lads. Give me two seconds.

Grab a microphone.

Are there any more sausage roti?

No. Oh, bloody hell.

Ladies and gentlemen, the...

Yeah, yeah.

Pickles it was. Yeah, 1966.

Right. We had it as a quiz question in here a few weeks ago. Me and Joan knew

it. Right.

That's my wife, Joan.

My mum's recently had a bag fitted for excrement, Chris.

Oh.

Right.

We learn to live.

We learn... to give each other what we need to survive.

Together alive.

What are you drawing a face on it for?

Oh, no, that's not her ass. That's a space hopper.

Oh, right.

Hey, fancy being the receptionist at your place, eh, John? Aye. The small

is to her.

Right, Duff, lads.

All right, Joe. How's it going with your love life, pal? Are you still the

fastest gun in the West?

Keep your bloody voice down, you pillock.

Have you done what I said?

What? You know, try counting back from under to take your mind off it.

I've not had a chance yet. She won't let me anywhere near her.

What was the other one you said?

Try and think of the England players who won the World Cup in 66.

I think that's what she does.

There you go, Joe. You have a drink on me, pal. You're doing a tough job

tonight, eh?

Tick -tock.

Cheers, Kate.

Yeah, from the top end of Piper Street, past McVitie's up to the Bancombe

Birdall Lane.

It's been going on for nearly two years now, it has.

That's it. I don't suppose it's caused you any problems, you know, living in

London and that.

No.

Great.

Ebony and ivory Live together in

perfect harmony Side by side on my piano

Keyboard only

Why can't we?

Side by side on my piano Keyboard, oh Lord Why

can't we?

The rest of the jury agreed with me 100%. The cakes were definitely better

the Monday than they were on the Wednesday.

Right.

Are you not having a pee? No, I had one earlier.

You see, the thing is, when you've been on jury service for any length of time,

like me, a lemon bun or a vanilla slice can make all the difference to the

verdict. There was a bloke there that reckons if you do jury service in

you can have whatever cakes you want.

That's America for you? I reckon that must be why O .J. Simpson got off.

Nice book with bits on it.

Yeah.

Over here, when you're ready, love.

Yes, Keith.

A pint of bitter, a large gin tea for Debbie.

A Bacardi and Coke for our Melanie.

A pint of bitter for Dean.

Are you having a drink yet, Ken?

Am I right, Keith?

Fair enough.

Can I tempt you with a drink, sweetheart?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

How about next Friday, then? Think you'll put up a date?

Cheeky. Hey, big cock.

Get some glasses collected when you've done that. Oh, I will miss your way with

words, Ken.

Running a tight ship here, aren't you, Ken?

But not for much longer, Keith.

Some of the rats have already started deserting it.

Uppers, downers, poppers, bit of skunk.

You name it, we can get it for you.

Here you are, pal.

Cheers, Nige.

It's a top night, isn't it? Yeah, it is.

Have you got your eye on Joe?

I have.

I'm planning on getting my hands on him and all if I get half the chance.

I might be on for Keith Braithwaite later.

Are you?

Yep. I thought you said he was a bit of a shithouse. That was four gins ago.

He looks a bit of all right now.

Bloody hell.

He's gone from sass pit to broad pit.

There's someone in there.

What's up? Are you all right?

What is it, love?

Nothing, nothing. It's just me.

What? What is it?

It's probably because it's my last night. It's all gone to me. I'm sorry.

really sorry.

Don't be sorry.

I understand.

I don't want to leave you. You know that.

But it's him.

Wasted all that time thinking there might be something there and in the end

couldn't give it up.

Don't say that. You know it's not true.

He thinks more about his ex -wife who's shitting him than he does about me.

You know he only took her out to ask her here for Melanie's sake.

But anyway, it doesn't matter, does it?

Sod him.

All right, Joan.

Yeah, I've just been making a bit of room for the buffet.

Calm down, Phil.

You've done too much. Nobody's staring at you.

They are. Who?

They all are. Don't be daft.

And them little ones hiding behind the curtains.

Oh, bloody hell.

She's a jolly good fellow.

She's a jolly good fellow.

She's a jolly good fellow.

OK,

everyone, if I can have your attention for a moment, please. I'd just like to

say a few words while I'm still sober, eh?

Ticked off?

Don't know, it's been a smashing day so far, hasn't it? And I'm sure you'd all

like to join me in thanking Ken, Melanie's death father, for making all

possible. Thank you, Ken.

Come on, cheer him.

OK, just on a personal note for a moment.

I know there's a lot of you here already know that over the past few years, this

young lady has searched high and low to find me,

a real dad.

And I can honestly say, oh boy, boy, oh boy, I'm so happy that she

found me.

Okay, Joe.

You are the sunshine of my life.

That's why I'll always be around.

You are the apple of my eye.

Wherever you stay in my heart.

He's got bloody nerve, hasn't he?

There you go, Joe.

You deserve that.

Oh, cheers, love.

Oh, it's been a great night, hasn't it? The party's only just begun, Nicola.

Oh.

I hope so.

You've got them in the palm of your hand, haven't you?

Have I?

Yeah. You have.

What's going through your mind now, Joe?

Nobby Stiles and Bobby Charlton.

And I said, have you thought about Eccles cakes?

Oh, here's my wife now, Christopher. I want you to meet someone special.

This is Christopher Joan.

Oh, that's funny. My first name's Joan, Christopher.

No, no, this is Christopher Joan, not Christopher Joan.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm always doing that, aren't I?

It's all right.

Oh, Christopher's diabetic, Joan.

Are you?

Yeah. And do you have to take that stuff?

Insulin, yeah, every day.

Really? Oh, great, isn't it?

Doctor told me when I was 15.

He said I've got two choices.

Have I take that every day or have I?

And what did you decide?

Thank you. Hey, tip top. Thanks very much.

Showtime.

Okay, Joe, who's next?

It's Gene. Give me that, mate.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for...

must have dragged her from the buffet, eh? Checked you out.

Come on up, Jean.

This song is for my Kenny.

Who isn't just here for one day of our Melanie's life. He's there for her every

day.

I sit and wait Does an angel

Contemplate my faith and

do they know the places where we go

when we're grey and old

cause I

So when I'm lying in my bed, thoughts are running through my head.

I feel the love in bed.

I'm loving angels in bed.

And through it all, the office brings protection.

The love is all that it takes to learn whether I'm right or wrong.

Having a pop at me, I'm only here for one day, eh? Just because I haven't been

in here with Melanie doesn't mean I haven't seen her, does it? Silly old

Don't say that about Jean, Keith.

Hey, I'll say what I like. I mean, who'd want to come in here anyway?

No wonder he's trying to tell, then. It's a bloody shithole full of tossers

you. There's only one tosser in here, Keith.

Oh, aye? Oh, aye, you think so, do you?

Well, I'll show you who's a tosser. Come on outside.

No, just forget it. Come on, lad arse, let's see what you're made of. I don't

want to fight, Keith. Yeah, well, you should have thought about that before

opened your big gob, shouldn't you? Come on, just leave it. Come on, you're a

big fella, aren't you? Let's have a go, eh? Please.

Come on!

I don't want any trouble, Keith.

Yeah, but I do.

Yeah, so do I.

He won't make this thing.

Don't think.

I'm through it all.

She offers me protection.

Are you watching her working if people went to be served here?

Oh, right. Bloody hell.

Duffy, Duffy, look after this for me. I'm just going for a pee.

All right, pal. No problem.

Hello,

Joe.

What are you doing?

What do you want?

You.

Oh, bloody hell, you can't have me. I'm the DJ.

I think that's why I want you.

Oh, Nicola, that's silly.

I'll just be an ordinary bloke tomorrow.

Not tonight, you're not, though.

Come here. Oh, no, I can't. You can.

I can't. Oh, yes, you can.

No, I can't. You can.

Oh, bloody hell.

Give me a... Can I have a word?

What is it?

In the back a minute, please.

What's up?

What's the matter with you?

What do you mean?

You've been picking on me all night for nothing. Picking, picking all bloody

night like a bear with a sore head. What have I done?

I'll tell you what you've done. You've been swallowing about playing up to

everyone just because it's your last night. You should be pulling your weight

with me in here. You cheeky git.

You begrudged me a bit of fun on me last night after all I've done for you.

All I'm saying... Oh, I've heard what you're saying now. You listen to me.

I've worked my arse off behind that bar in the past, sometimes for nothing,

because I know how you've been struggling.

And I've thought something of you.

And this is the thanks I get, you think?

What a bloody mug I've been, eh?

Well, I tell you what, you will never treat me like that again, ever.

Tanya, I'm sorry.

I'd just like to thank you all for coming and for all your presents.

I'd also like to thank Joe, wherever he is, for doing the disco.

I hope you're not paying him.

I'd like to thank my Dean. Thanks very much, Dean.

I'm sorry.

I'd also especially like to thank Tanya for working so hard.

It's her last night tonight, and I know that we'd like to wish her all the best

for her future, and she'll be sadly missed by all of us, not least of all my

dad, who I know appreciates everything that she's done for him.

And last of all, I'd like to thank my dad for putting this special night on

me.

And more than that, I'd like to thank him for being my best friend for the

21 years.

And the best dad that anyone could ever wish for. Can you come up, Dad?

Yay!

Yay!

Yay! Yay!

Yay!

Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay!

And for her to have a 21st in this place, where she grew up, surrounded by

her friends, and all of mine too, it really means a lot to me.

I've spent some of the best times of my life in here.

And I've never really wanted to leave this place, as you all know.

And I still don't.

So I've made a decision tonight.

I'm going to stay.

But only if Tanya will stay with me.

Tanya?

Bank. What?

Bobby Moore.

Trevor!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. I think it's all over. It is now.

Rushing through the storm.

Captivated by the world beyond.

What's the secret to a perfect pub?

Landlord John Robbins invites special guests to the moon underwater to create

their version. Pull up a stool and listen from sound.