Original subtitles

you

Lovely morning song of Paris.

You are much too loud for me.

It's not a sonata by Mozart.

The song of Paris has its faults.

It has less than a poor nanny goes out.

but at least it's no Viennese waltz.

Seville has its mandango, Chicago has its trot, Bueno there is tango, Dresden

gavotte, no matter if the day be cold or wet or dry, each morning like a

baby, Paris starts to cry.

It has taxi horns and klaxons to scare the Anglo -Saxons. That's the song of

Paris.

It has men that sell you postcards much naughtier than most cars.

That's the song of Paris.

The noise is not delicious, but it makes you so ambitious.

You would sell your wife and daughter for just one Latin quarter.

That's the song of Paris.

Bonjour, Duval.

How's my old pal?

Bonjour, Maurice.

How are you?

How about Friday?

Friday is my day.

How's your bakery?

I need a bowl.

Where's your husband?

He needs the dough. Oh, hello, Mrs. Bendix.

How's your appendix? And what is more, how are you?

Bonjour. Hello, sir.

How is the grocer?

You owe ten francs. How are you?

Ah, as my co -friend.

Some other boyfriend?

This is my wife. How are you?

How's your grandpa?

He's back in jail.

How's your business?

Morning, Marine.

Nice day for your wedding.

Yes. Is my suit ready? Certainly.

I want to pay you today, Maurice.

No hurry.

Oh, no, no. You're just getting started and business is bad.

Look at these.

All sold?

One is yours.

And the rest are for the Vicomte de Vares.

Vicomte de Vares?

The best dressed man in France?

Mm -hmm. I'm making on his clothes now.

And he'll make my reputation.

He owes me 40 ,000 francs. That's what I call success. Yeah, that's fine.

2 ,000 francs, right? Right.

Oh,

it's

the across Paris run.

Monsieur Vicomte.

Maurice.

Monsieur Vicomte was in the race?

No, no, just temporarily.

Maurice, have you some of my clothes ready?

Fifteen suits, enough.

Oh, well, knock the door and give me a suit quickly.

He may come along any minute. Who?

The girl's husband. He came home unexpectedly.

What girl?

Well, she's... Well, I don't remember.

The husband started running after me and I ran and I found myself in the race.

I presume Mr. Vicomte has no more need of this.

No, no, no, I got that off a fruit stand.

Emile, Emile, would you mind giving the room to Mr. Vicomte, please? Oh, yes,

yes, with pleasure.

Oh, thank you, thank you, Marcus, thank you.

Go right in there.

Monsieur, Monsieur Vicomte, about the beer.

About the bill, Monsieur Bicomte. Yeah, the pants are a very good fit, Maurice.

Thank you.

Monsieur Bicomte, about the bill. Oh, well, tonight, Maurice, I'll go down to

family chateau and get my uncle the Duke to hand over my next allowance.

Oh, thank you, Monsieur Bicomte.

What about my friend, the shirt maker, who's making the new shirts for you? Get

his bill, too.

Thank you. And what about my friends, the hatter and the bootmaker?

I'll pay them all at once. A clean sweep, Maurice.

Oh, thank you, Monsieur Bicomte.

Very nice, very nice.

And now, Maurice, do you suppose you could let me have a little something?

Money?

Yes, yes.

You see, I'm running around without my wallet.

How much could you spare?

A thousand francs? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's too much.

Now, if you'd said 500... Oh, monsieur, you're going to take the thousand.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Monsieur, you're going to need it.

Well, I'll tell you. You let me have the 2 ,000 and we'll say no more about it.

Maurice, I'll be here with bags of gold for you. Bags of gold.

A thousand thanks, Monsieur Vicomte.

Maurice,

it's beautiful.

Just see, with a little cloth, you make a work of art.

Othello's art for your sweetheart.

Oh, it's like poetry in a book.

Oh, how beautiful I look.

The love song of the needle united with the thread. The romance of the season.

So Claire and I could win.

Oh, Amy, Amy. Oh, you're a magician.

Isn't it romantic?

My face is glowing.

I'm energetic.

The art of sewing.

I find poetic.

My needle punctuates the rhythm of romance.

I don't give a stitch.

If I don't get rich, a custom tailor who has no customs is like a sailor.

No one will trust him. But there is magic in the music of my shears. I shed

tears. Lend me your ears.

Isn't it romantic?

Soon I will have found some girl that I adore.

Isn't it romantic?

While I sit around, my love can scrub.

Kiss me every hour.

Oh, she'll get the sack.

And when I take a shower, she can scrub my back.

Isn't it romantic?

On a moonlight night, she'll cook me onion soup.

Kiddies are romantic.

And if we don't fight, we soon will have a trope.

We...

Da -da -da -da -da. A very catchy strain.

Isn't it romantic?

Da -da -da -da -da. Oh, I forgot my cane.

Oh, thank you very much.

I'd better face your time.

Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da. Goodbye. Isn't it romantic?

Da -da -da -da -da -da. Taxi. Oh, no, I need some air.

Isn't it romantic?

At last I've got a fair railroad station.

Not too fast, I hate to take a chance.

Isn't it romance?

Isn't it romantic?

We'll take that down.

I just came up to join you. Join me?

Join you in a little chat before dinner.

Not tonight.

I've had another fainting spell, and my uncle the Duke thought bed was the best

place for me. I always think that, if one isn't well.

Count, why the louder?

Oh, it's more romantic.

Oh, careful.

Oh, I brought along my flute, hoping to entertain.

No, Count.

Not tonight.

Oh, before I go...

You remember what I said to you down by the horse trough?

Quite well.

What was it?

I simply wished to see if I made any impression on you, Princess.

You said I love you.

Made no impression whatever.

There'd probably be no use repeating the sentiment at this time.

None at all.

Oh, Princess.

I trust you do not find my wooing too ardent?

I was just admiring your restraint.

Good night, Count.

I'm with the dreams, Princess.

Oh, Colt, did you break your leg? No, I fell flat on my flute.

But not too long.

Oh, may it help our niece grow strong.

Plants from the woods and herbs from the dells are certain cures for painting

spells. Please, heaven, we don't star in vain.

May morning bring our health again.

What? My dear Duke, you can get rid of me for 20 ,000 francs. My dear Countess,

I have... Oh, Uncle, don't be so pumped.

I'm only asking you for some of the money you're holding in trust for me. If

gave you any, you'd go straight back to Paris.

You're staying here, Valentin. What you need is more of the simple life, young

woman. Oh, Uncle. I say, come in.

The new footman, Your Grace.

Uncle?

No!

Is there a footman under 40 in this place?

Valentine!

There you go, Lamont.

About the schedule for the guests for tomorrow, Your Grace. Oh, tomorrow.

Bridge at three.

And a dinner at eight.

And after dinner, bridge.

Rather an amusing day, Flamoy.

Quite exciting, Your Grace.

And what are the guests doing now, Lamont?

Playing bridge, Your Grace. Ah.

You wait. I'm going right back to Paris.

Hey, there.

A man.

Oh, no. Just Cousin Gilbert.

What are you doing?

Trying to get up enough energy to go to bed. Oh. What are you doing in this dull

hole? No, I'm just passing through.

I've got a taxi waiting to take me back to Paris.

Take me with you?

That's not a bad idea.

It might save me from having to see Uncle.

How much money can you loan me?

I'm over my allowance, and Uncle won't let me have any money.

Oh, well, you don't know how to handle the old Skyhawk.

I'll tell him I need the money for charity, to provide good homes for bad

stenographers. Uh -oh.

Send that taxi away.

No, now, uncle, now, look, I've got to get back to Paris. You can't. You're

staying here permanently.

And if I hear any more of your debts, any more bills, I'll cut you off without

shoe. Oh, now, do you understand?

You imp, imp, what's the word?

Impetuous? No, no, no. Impudent? No, no, no.

Imposter? No.

No. Impertinent? Ah, that's it. You impertinent jack, jack.

Jackal. No, no, no. Well, I'm sorry. Jackal.

No, no.

I wish you'd go to bed.

Jackanapes. You impertinent jackanapes.

Liar. Cheek. You'll be insulting me in a minute. Nitwick.

Nanskal. Nancampoo.

Lord, grant her rest be sweet and deep.

And nights go riding through her sleep. Her own prince charming, young and bold.

Who came to princesses of old.

Never to us.

Never to us.

Never to us.

Stir slowly, slowly.

And may it heal her wholly.

For my shirt. And my shoes. And my hat.

You introduced this fellow to us. You said that his trade would bring another

business. It will.

We must be careful not to insult the Vicomte de Varese.

He comes from the old nobility.

Weak to take offense.

And slow to pay.

Maurice Cudelin?

Yes?

I understand you've made a lot of clothes for the Vicomte de Varese.

You see, you see, Monsieur Hazard, that I make clothes for the Vicomte. If

Monsieur will take a chair, I'll show him samples.

Monsieur is a friend of the Vicomte? Not at all.

You know who I am.

Oh, now I understand.

Oh, monsieur, monsieur, why don't you try to forgive and forget?

This is Paris, city of romance, love.

Oh, please, please, forgive Vicomte and forgive also your wife.

I have no wife.

What is all this?

You are not the man who chased Vicomte in his DVDs? Certainly not.

I am the credit manager of the Association of Retail Merchants.

I came here to tell you that not a tailor in Paris would make that fellow a

without full payment in advance.

You mean he... I mean the Vicomte de Varese never pays.

The Vicomte never pays? My shirt.

What happened? My boots.

My suit. Gentlemen, you have my profound sympathy.

The old new village, eh?

Do you know what I'd like to do?

I'd like to get a crowd, march down there, and attack that chateau. That's

idea. You think we could?

Just like in the old days?

What about the police?

I don't mean attack it with a crowd.

Let me attack it alone.

I'll be a one -man French revolution.

Let me have all the goods the Vico ordered.

I'll deliver them to the chateau, and I'll make him pay.

I

just

heard you were going. Let my husband drive you. He has to go to Piazza, pick

his employers, and he'd love to drop you.

Yeah, tell Maurice you'd love to drop him.

I'd love to drop you. Get in.

Over here.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, just like a millionaire.

Mademoiselle, are you hurt?

Oh, no.

Mademoiselle, put your arms around me.

Oh, no, thank you. I can manage alone.

No, please, please.

I still suggest that you put your arms around me. Do you think I put my arms

around people I don't know? My name is Maurice. Oh,

that's

nothing.

No, no, no, it's quite unnecessary.

Don't stand on it yet. But I'm sure it's better.

No, no, no, no.

Tell me, do you live down here?

I often wonder.

No, I said, do you live down here?

I heard you.

I wonder if you can call it living.

Seems so dead.

I must go.

Oh, no, no, not right away. See, one foot wants to go, the other wants to

They both want to go.

My family's waiting for me.

But what about me?

What do you mean? What about you?

I mean, I'm stuck here. I can't go. My car is in disrepair and I'm lonely.

You can't leave me.

Aren't you a little insane?

Yes. Let me sing for you.

You are insane.

But you sang for me.

I didn't even know you existed.

You don't exist either.

You're a dream.

Oh, give me just a moment.

Just to sing to you, Mimi.

You're mad.

And my name's not Mimi.

Yes, I am mad.

My left shoe's on my right foot. My right shoe's on my left.

Oh, listen to me, Mimi.

Of reason I'm bereft. The buttons of my trousers are buttoned to my vest. Oh,

listen to me, Mimi.

There's passion in my breast.

Mimi, you funny little good -for -nothing Mimi.

Am I the guy?

You sunny little honey of a Mimi, I'm aiming high, Mimi.

You got me sad and dreamy, you could free me if you'd see me, Mimi.

You know I'd like to have a little son of a Mimi round by, Mimi.

You funny little good one of a Mimi, I'm either guy or...

Thank you.

You think I'm rude, vulgar?

You know, since you came into my life, I'm not myself.

Perhaps I'm in love with you. Oh, really now?

Afraid? Of what? Of me.

What conceit? Afraid of yourself?

What insolence?

You think it's serious to fall in love? You're right. I've known you a hundred

years. A thousand years. You're impossible.

I hope to see you again somewhere soon.

Perhaps in another thousand years.

No store hat? No smile?

It's all over, Maurice. You can't go on.

Now we can go on, Pierre.

Good old Pierre. We can go on if I ever fix this car.

Princess! Help!

Help! Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

She's pinching again.

You know, I had an elder brother who used to faint quite often. He was a

maniac. What?

A nipple maniac.

He used to go around pinching things.

Oh, I had a friend like that. He used to pinch business girls in elevators.

They had to send him to a cooler climate.

No. Aren't you a girl? This is no time for reminiscences.

Go and get a couple of footmen to carry her upstairs.

But you gave the servants the afternoon off. Our footmen are playing football

against the old soldier's home. Well, you two carry her upstairs.

Someone fetch a doctor. You carry her. I'll get the doctor.

Valentine, can you go for a doctor?

Certainly. Bring him right in.

No, no, no, Spurgeonette. She's fainted again.

Permit me to introduce Dr. Armand de Pontillac. Your Highness.

And

now,

my dear, remove your dress.

My what?

Your dress.

There's no occasion for distress.

Is that necessary?

Very. Yes.

As long as professional ethics apply, I'll see you with only a doctor's eye.

Oh, dear.

The doctor's eye is satisfied.

Now I'll hear your heart.

Don't sigh.

Very good. Nothing wrong here.

I'll take your pulse, my dear.

Perfectly regular.

Right on the tick.

Madam, oh, madam.

You cannot be sick.

Then why do I lie awake in bed?

And why does blood rush to my head? At night.

Quite right. At night.

And why does music make me sad?

And why do love songs drive me mad?

At night.

Quite right. At night.

And frequently I faint.

That's quaint.

How old are you?

I'm 22.

Why, mother, people dance. I feel so dead at night.

At 22.

Oh, this won't do.

Are you married?

My husband died three years ago.

At 16, I was wed. You've been a widow for three years?

Three years. The prince is dead.

Were you very happy with your spouse?

He was the son of a noble house.

It was the happiness of great peace.

A Rochambeau.

My better half.

And here you have his photograph.

How old was your bridegroom, dear?

Seventy -two.

Seventy -two?

Seventy -two. Oh, this will do.

Sweet music makes me cry on port.

Perhaps I'd better journey south.

Perhaps my tonsils should come out.

Well, it's a very pretty mouth.

I'm wasting away. For three years I've sat alone. No joy

I've tasted.

With eyes and red lips and a figure like... Like that?

You're not wasted away.

You're just wasted.

Well, Doctor, we had planned an outing in the forest for this afternoon, but I

suppose we'd better call it off.

No, no.

Go right ahead.

Oh, then Jeannette is not in any danger. Well, nothing immediate.

But the princess ought to be married.

Married?

To a man of her own age.

Ah, but the only two eligible men in France.

The only two of rank equal to her highness are, well, not exactly of my

age. How old are they? One is 85, and the other will be 12 on his next

Ah, well, this is a problem. What do you recommend?

Exercise.

Exercise and exercise.

Excellent.

This gives me new hope.

Eh? About my chances of marrying Jeannette.

I'll ask her to consider me as a prescription.

My dear Countess Avignac, the only obstacle lies in the delicate matter of

Jeannette demands a prince at least. And you are not a prince.

Well, I would have been if our family hadn't been badly gypped during the

Crusades. Anyway, your grace mustn't forget the tenth Count de Savignac. What

about him?

Marie Antoinette.

Positively. Now may I ask, Jeannette?

Yes, but not this afternoon.

Quite right.

Of course, that's me, you know, always impetuous.

Mademoiselle, I'm looking for the Vicomte de Varese.

I didn't know he was expecting a friend.

Are you alone?

Alone? I mean in life. You're not married.

No.

I'll be right down.

Who made that for you?

McClintock and Armstrong, monsieur, of London.

Might I recommend them for your own servants?

Oh, no, no, thank you. I'm looking for the Vicomte de Paris.

Possibly in the drawing room.

Thank you.

Madame.

Monsieur.

His smile is so disarming. So bright. So gay. So charming.

Madame.

We bore you with our sewing.

Sewing? Quite so.

Oh, no.

A needle is magnetic.

How true.

And how poetic.

Mesdames. Messieurs.

Oh.

Oh, no, no, never use silk on armor.

Flannel is the thing. Oh, are you interested in armor? Any kind of wearing

apparel. Is this your only job? Oh, no, I potter around.

Tell me, where can I find the Vicomte de Paris? Oh, he's somewhere about.

I hate him.

Imagine, he would like to tear down this beautiful chateau.

No, it would be better to tear down the Vicomte. Ah, you're a man after my own

heart. You have a soul.

Someone looking for me?

Ah, Monsieur Vicomte.

Maurice. I came down about those... My, my, how well you're looking.

You've met my uncle?

Uncle? The Duke? Oh, yes. We had a little chat.

He's the first of your friends that I haven't wanted to hit with a battle axe.

He recommended flannel.

Flannel? Would you pardon us a moment, Uncle?

Maurice, may I have a word with you?

Maurice, did you tell uncle about those bills?

But I didn't get a chance.

And I didn't know he was your uncle. Oh, well, that's... Now, because I brought

all your clothes, and I want the money, see? It's 63 ,000 francs. Oh.

And I'm here also on behalf of my fellow creditors. Put yourself in their place.

I'd like to. It isn't everyone who can be a creditor nowadays.

Now, Maurice, I'm going to be frank with you.

Right now, I can't pay you. Ah, then I have to see the duty.

He'll throw you out. He hates tradesmen.

He'll throw me out, too. So what's the use?

I won't leave the chateau without my money. Oh, why do you say that?

Well, I... I've got it.

Then stay here.

I'll have the money in a few days. I'll borrow it. No, no, no. This is no place

for me. A teller in a chateau? Well, why not?

No, no. I'm going to see the duke. Oh, Maurice, please.

I'm trying to persuade him to stay. I'm sorry. I can't. Oh, there you are. Yes.

You're trying to persuade him to stay. No, really, I wish I could stay.

Jeannette, Countess of Vignac, let me present Gilbert.

Present your friend.

Yes, yes, of course.

This is my good friend, Baron Cortelan.

Yes, I've met the Baron.

We're trying to persuade him to stay.

Are we? The Baron must have changed.

He used to make very sudden decisions.

I stand.

How did it go?

Mimi, you funny little good -for -nothing Mimi.

Am I the guy?

Mimi, you sunny little honey of a Mimi.

I'm aiming high.

Mimi, you've got me sad and dreamy. You could free me if you'd

see me.

Mimi, you know I'd like to have a little son of a Mimi by and by.

I read that wrong to you.

Mimi, you funny little good -for -nothing Mimi.

Am I the guy?

Mimi, you sunny little honey of a Mimi.

I'm aiming high.

Mimi.

You know I'd like to have a little shot of a little bird.

Mimi, you funny little good -for -nothing Mimi.

Am I the god?

You funny little good -for -nothing Mimi.

Am I the guy, Mimi?

You sunny little honey, Mimi.

I may went high.

With your permission, I'd like to do my hunting indoors today.

Indoors? In your library.

But what's the use?

Much as I love a good gal, I'm giving it up in your interest.

Yes, but why all this mystery?

It concerns the Baron.

I've never heard of the Cortolans in all my historical research.

Have you?

No, but I'm not as familiar as I might be with the nobility of the South.

I ran through eight or ten volumes before breakfast and found not a

That's my show.

Mind you, I still have 36 more volumes to look through before I'm sure.

Yes, but this fellow's a friend of Gilbert's.

Gilbert, I need only remind you, is none too choosy.

Well, you go right ahead, my boy.

Oh, well, Maurice, you look great.

Is that my new riding habit?

No, no, not until you've paid for it, Monsieur Le Vicomte.

I've been up since daybreak altering it to fit me. Oh, I see.

Have you picked out something good to ride on? The best I could get. Is it the

big gray one?

No, small.

Orange with black stripes.

Orange with black... What is it, a zebra?

No, a bicycle.

You can't use a bicycle in a hunt. You've got to ride a horse.

No, but I've never been on a horse in my life.

Baron, Baron.

I want to loan you a horse, worthy of a quarter line.

Thunderbolt. Thunderbolt? He's fast, but furious.

Well, thank you, but I think I'd better not. You see, the harder the horse, the

harder I get.

I might tell Thunderbolt, or he can take it.

Oh, Baron, I took the liberty of choosing a horse for you. Oh, that's so

you. I won't need you, Thunderbolt.

What's my horse's name?

Solitude. Oh, Solitude.

Well, good hunting.

Well, I'm sad.

Solitude sounds just my tribe.

Do you know why they call him Solitude?

Why? Because he always comes home alone.

Solitude for Baron Corsola.

What's the point in giving the Baron a horse like that? I won't attest to

I could think of several better ways to do that. Let me try. Don't bother.

Tell me, do you ever think of anything but men, dear?

Oh, yes.

Of what?

Schoolboys.

I know that solitude.

No, that's only thunderbolt.

There's solitude.

This? This is oats, madame.

Very wild.

And this is the stag.

Very tired.

And where's Solitude?

We agreed to separate.

He went home. Alone.

And what are your plans?

Oh, very simple, madame. After supper, the stag will go right to bed.

He's had a hard day.

Then the hunt just stops, I suppose.

A very happy ending, madame, of which we both approve.

I do not approve.

No, I mean the stag and myself.

No true nobleman would mock the tradition of a hunt like this.

There are things too fine, too sacred to be made ridiculous.

Oh, your highness is losing your temper.

No, I'm not losing my temper. You let that stag go. No.

No, he'd be caught and killed.

You wouldn't want that, madame. Look.

Look at those eyes.

Oh, you're not a gentleman. You need some lessons.

And you, Your Highness, are not a woman.

You need some lessons, too. You know too much about hunting, etiquette,

tradition. You know nothing about style, charm, love.

Oh. Your riding habit.

Look, your riding habit. It's not graceful. It's not in the mood.

And your hair. It's too prim, madam.

It's too severe. Please, let me fix that.

But you're riding happy.

It's discouraging.

What are you doing now?

I'm thinking.

I'm thinking of you without these clothes.

Open your eyes at once.

Oh, no, pardon, madam. I mean with different clothes.

Smart clothes.

Here they are.

The clothes?

They're hands.

The stag. The stag. He's asleep.

What? We must go back. He's very tired.

Go back.

Go back quickly and quietly.

Go back.

Quickly and quietly.

On tiptoe. On tiptoe.

Oh, madame.

Oh!

Good hunting?

No luck. The baron and the deer made friends and called the holding off.

Well, I've had good hunting. There's no such title as Baron Courtois.

What? Yes, Gilbert.

Did you hear that?

Are you sure? I've even been through the better class illegitimate.

And still no courtier? Not a courtier.

Now, Gilbert, who the deuce is your friend?

Well, Uncle, I don't think I'd better tell you. It wouldn't be safe.

Wouldn't be safe?

You see, I owe Maurice something.

You owe him something.

Uncle, you shouldn't keep repeating everything I say.

You're living a life of an echo.

Will you kindly come to the point?

Uncle, we're living in the age of toppling thrones, of uneasy crowns, of

persecuted royalty compelled at times to travel under strange names.

Right? Are you trying to hint that your friend is royalty?

Well, I... He has the Habsburg lip.

And the name?

Baron Cotillard is... A mere nom de pullman.

Well, we're all here except the Baron. Good, then we're all here.

Count, could you do something to entertain?

No, I'm helpless since my accident.

Accident? I fell flat on my flute.

Oh?

Ah, Emperor.

Have you seen Valentine, Uncle? Why, no, she's not here either.

The Baron and Valentine are both missing.

You know, Uncle, it's dangerous inviting guests here with a girl like that

around. Somebody will sue us. Ah. Ah, there you are.

The Baron will be down in a moment. He had to send a Paris for his costume and

it was late getting here.

I've been watching him put it on.

You've been what?

It's all right, Uncle. She has the room next to Maurice and she's bored holes in

the connecting door.

Yes. Vanity!

Are you aware that... Are you... Are you...

Now, are you aware that that door's come down to us through generations?

So have my instincts.

There she is, there, Uncle.

Will you stop blowing that infernal bladder?

Ah, Baron.

Thank you, Madame. Oh, how original.

Thank you, Madame. Oh, how intriguing.

Thank you, Madame.

Oh, how charming. Thank you. How common.

Do you find my costume out of place, madame?

Decidedly. Maybe you're right.

An Apache among all these nobility.

And yet I understand an Apache wanting to come where there is beauty and light.

Yes, but people should be on guard against him.

You don't like the Apache, eh? I just like his attitude toward women.

Oh, madame, you don't understand the Apache.

He's not always such a bad fellow.

I'd like to tell you what he really feels.

Ah, I'd love to know. And I...

I'm not interested.

Are they always so brutal with girls?

Haven't they any weak moments?

I'll tell you the story of one that I have known.

I

wear

a sweater when you wear a collar and a tie.

Why not? I'm an Apache.

The thing that makes me happy is to make a woman cry.

Why not?

I'm an Apache.

My sweetheart is a shop girl. She is a treasure.

And so I am a gentleman of leisure.

When I grab her wrist and twist it, no woman can resist it.

Why not? I'm an Apache.

And still, I'd love to treat her pretty and take her around the city.

But what's a poor Apache got to do?

With one deep sigh, I must black her

eye.

I'd love to buy things for her and tell her I adore her, but what's a good

effort got to do?

With one good kick, I make her very

quick.

Oh, the men are dancing and tenderly romancing. I've got to throw her body

around. The spot that no one dares touch, the spot that only chairs touch,

frequently touching the ground.

She comes and whispers sweetly, I love you so completely.

And then I gently whisper to her, not to you.

That's how I say I love you.

Sad but true, that's what a poor apache must do.

I was found in a basket in front of a church, but my childhood was not very

sainted. I didn't know my mother, who didn't know my father. My parents were

well acquainted.

I soon joined my gang, who taught me their slang and how to pick pockets.

I'll

be

good at some dirty work.

Maybe that day your police will lead me away.

Maybe I will.

by Madame Guillotine.

And when at last I'm led off to have them chop my head

off, I'll tell the executioner this.

Not to you.

And then I'll close.

I brought you over here because I want you. No, Countess.

I want you to keep as far away from me as possible.

Countess, I'll try.

Pardon me, Countess. Something I must do. Some place I must go.

princess princess open your eyes princess open your eyes

no don't open your eyes

sleep so that i can tell you how beautiful you are

how beautiful and how i love

How dare you?

Wait.

Why did you do that?

Because I love you.

You... You kissed me, Princess.

Why?

Because I love you, Maurice.

You... You love me?

Yes. Oh, I fought against it. I was afraid.

Oh, my darling.

How foolish I was.

Perhaps you were wise.

Why?

Fear is a warning, Princess.

I don't understand you, Maurice.

Let me dream this dream a little longer.

When I wake, I'll go away.

Go away?

Don't you want me, Maurice?

I want you, my princess.

But I have wanted the moon, too.

Look, my hands are empty.

Your arms need never be empty of me, Maurice.

We have found each other in darkness, like ships that come into harbor

together at night.

When morning comes, one stays, one

sails away.

We'll sail together.

Or stay together.

I love you, beautiful princess. I love you.

This I can tell you. This is mine.

Jeannette.

Laurie.

You don't know who I am.

You are you.

And I love you.

But if I... If I were not...

What you think I am, if I... Whoever you are, whatever you

are, wherever you are, I love you.

Charlie?

What?

You know what I think?

I think I'm mad.

And that you're mad.

And that the whole world is mad.

But I'm the luckiest man, none of all. And the haggiest.

Listen, my beautiful princess.

I love you.

I love you.

And whatever comes tomorrow, love me tonight.

Love me tonight.

Whatever you are.

Wherever you are.

I love you.

Oh, my princess.

You don't know who I am.

I am... I am a tailor.

A tailor?

A tailor?

Isn't it romantic?

Oh, I love you.

You sent for me, Princess?

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

I'd like your advice on my new riding habit.

Beautiful. Oh, do you really think so?

Perfect.

How about the length?

Divine.

Here, look at it more closely.

The closer I get, the more perfect.

Monsieur has taste.

How about the color?

Lucky color.

Oh.

Oh.

Anything wrong?

Oh, certainly.

The color adds up.

Oh, no, that won't go at all.

You think so, monsieur?

Oh, yes, madame, yes.

Look, look, it's too tight here, madame.

It's too tight across the chest.

And the lapels. The lapels. They are too stiff.

No, no, really. The whole thing lacks smartness, youth, grace.

No, no, no. Oh, Maurice. Your Highness, I have never been so insulted.

With your permission, I'm going.

Madame Putois.

Madame Putois.

Maurice,

what am I going to do now?

Don't worry, Jeannette.

We'll fix it.

How?

We'll fix it. Oh, let... No, no, no, really, no. That's not possible, you

We'll make you a riding habit that will tend solitude.

But how?

The important thing is not to hurry.

Insulted in my love?

Insulted? Insulted?

Insulted?

Madame Boutrois has been insulted.

Boutrois has been insulted.

What? Madame Boutrois has been insulted.

At her age?

Remarkable. Boutrois has been insulted.

Some men have no taste.

Boutrois has been insulted.

The old girl must have something.

Let us look into this.

What's this? An offering?

A scandal. The bird.

I'll shoot him. Oh, let me die.

No, let me explain. I was only fixing the princess's riding habit.

What? Uncle, uncle, that's the truth.

No, I give you my word of honor.

Why, the Baron often gives people advice about their clothes. Be quiet.

What you say is insulting.

I'll run him through for this. You've already shot him. Silence!

Silence! Silence!

I'll prove I'm telling the truth.

Give me two hours, and I'll remodel that riding habit.

What?

All right.

I'll convict you by your own fortune. I'll give you two hours, sir. Yeah,

do it.

I bet he can't do it. I'll bet you 10 ,000 francs he can. I'll bet you 50 ,000

he's alive. You're done.

Your grass, time flies.

Quite right. Leave them alone. Everybody.

I give you two hours, sir.

50 ,000 francs now, huh?

Maurice, what will you do now?

You'll see.

Two hours to go.

Wait a minute.

Now, end this.

Now I start.

22.

28.

Oh, it's perfect.

Of course, if I had more time.

It's too perfect.

Tell me, how were you able to make this happen in two hours?

How were you able to make it at all?

Because... Because I am a tailor.

A what?

A tailor.

Oh, Maurice, you're joking.

No, I'm not a baron.

I am a tenor.

Does that make

so much difference?

Last night, you said to me, whoever you are, whatever

you are, wherever you are, I love you.

Remember?

Oh!

Jeanette, what happened?

I just told her I'm not a baron.

I'm a tailor.

A tailor?

Yes.

A tailor.

Oh. Oh.

Well, I... You see,

I owed him some bills. Bills?

I'll deal with you later.

But first I'll have Flamand give this tradesman his money and kick him out.

The princess mustn't hear of this or the breath of life would fail her. I'd

rather throw a bomb at her than have her wed a commoner. And nothing could be

commoner than the commoner who's a tailor.

A tailor?

A tailor. The bounder is a tailor.

The news would make your ancestor upon the wall grow paler. If painted ears

could hear at all, that frame would crash from off the wall.

The son of a gun is nothing but a tailor.

The son of a gun is nothing but a tailor.

Come here, you geese to drink. Maurice is not the knight of the golden feast.

The son of a gun is nothing but a tailor.

My lord, I said and bent my head and now I wish I were dead instead. The son of

a gun is nothing but a tailor.

It makes me boil with rage to think I blacked his boots. I should have blacked

his eye.

To think I pressed his coat and vest when he's the one who can press the

The son of a gun is nothing but a tailor.

I made the bed where lay his head and now my cheeks are burning red. The son

a gun is nothing but a tailor.

I used to flirt until it hurt while he stood there in his undershirt. The son

a gun is nothing but a tailor.

I've given indigestion to a president.

Forming to a dude.

Imagine cook and pheasant for a guy who's just a pheasant. For the son of a

is nothing but a tailor.

Working with a red -hot iron makes a lady keep her spire until her strength

just about to fail her.

But it's worse to stand above a board and scrub the britches of the son of a

who's nothing but a tailor.

Down upon my hands and knees is washing out his BBDs. This is a job that hardly

pleases me.

If I had known I would have tore the buttons off his panties for the son of a

gun is nothing but a tailor.

Nothing but a tailor.

Nothing but a tailor.

I am a tailor.

A tailor. A tailor.

Does it make so much difference?

I love you. I love you. This I can tell you. This is mine.

I love you, Maurice.

You don't know who I am.

Whoever you are. Whatever you are. Wherever you are. I love you.

Your heart and my heart were made to me.

Don't make them wet.

Love me tonight.

Why should our lips be afraid to meet?

Oh, no.

Johannes forgets I'm a terror.

I love you. I can't live without you.

I love you.

But you couldn't be a terror's wife.

I couldn't. I will. Stop the train.

No. I love you too much.

You belong to the chateau.

Goodbye.

Stop the train.

I'm in trouble.

I love you.

Once upon a time, there was a princess and a prince charming. Who was not a

prince, but who was charming. And they lived happily ever after.