Original subtitles

There you go. Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Rune with the dead.

Come in, bootlegger.

Linda?

Linda's in the spirit world?

Oh, Maxine. What an extraordinary adventure I've been on. I'll bet.

Tell me about the spirit world, Linda.

It's so funny how life and karma have a way of setting us on the most unexpected

paths.

After Doug dropped me on the beach in Cuba, I spent days wandering banana

plantations vacated by the oppressor after La Revolucion.

But then I fell in with a fabulous community of locals who took me in with

arms.

And that's when I saw him.

Choi Guevara.

That's right.

Half -brother to Che.

See you, kid.

Well... Joy.

Linda.

Would you like to have sex?

It would be an honor.

Is it faith?

Karma? Mad timing?

Who can say?

But, Maxine, I'm in love.

He's taking me to the most amazing places.

First stop, the Amazon. Where we joined a group of native women fending off the

destruction of their beloved rainforest.

My life has such purpose, Maxine.

We must not rest.

The Rollins fortune can at last be used to reverse suffering instead of creating

it. A courier will come to you. Maxine, on Thursday the 17th, you will use the

code words, banana slug. Give him $100 ,000 cash.

Off to spread literacy to the Sierra Chicas.

Bye.

Is Linda still alive?

This thing is just a radio.

Kind of a fresh date, huh?

Yeah.

I've got popcorn in my teeth.

Now there's some in my food trap.

Sorry, I started saying positively unseemly.

Now I've got a lot of butter and salt rolling around in my mouth and on my

tongue. You understand.

I can do it with a little butter and salt. No, no, no.

She'll be married where the post is hosted. The square dance is her place

tonight. You want to go?

Two dates in one day?

Robert said I could find you here.

Possibly ill flagrante. We are not ill.

Whatever you said. We're not doing anything. Scout's on her.

I have a missive from the shortwave.

And it needs a hundred thousand.

Listen, I am running ever so late to go with Evelyn to buy the Pomeriel.

And I need a $100 ,000 Delacorte check written out to cash for Linda. Why don't

you take the money for Linda from the Rawlings estate?

I can't take that money because it is frozen, thanks to me. And if Evelyn ever

finds that out, she'll skin me like a cat. Maxine, we went through this

Norma was not Norma. I sold the house. Nor the money was hers to give me. It's

all Douglas's.

Half of which I am entitled to.

I'm asking for a little up front.

Take it up with Douglas. I can't tell him.

kicking Caboodle a pinky.

Yeah.

The answer is Normaxine.

Why are all these paintings off the wall?

According to the will, Norma wanted me to send these paintings to the Delacorte

Hall in Switzerland.

So nice of you to do a favor for Norma and not do a favor for Maxine.

Oh, and I think you mean the fake Norma because the real Norma is a teenage

skeleton in a European graveyard somewhere.

I love you, Maxine.

I love you, too.

There's six million dollars in gold. Half is mine, half is the estate, a .k

you. Perfecto. They say gold is the easiest to hop.

Why would you need to hop anything?

I don't need to. I'm just saying if the estate were ever to need any something,

you know.

Maxine, am I worried?

Golly gee, no. I'm just thinking about the future.

Anyway, the fire sale price of the farm is three mil, so we each throw in half

of our house, which after purchase leaves us each with 1 .5. Clear? Very

Okay. Let's go get it, partner.

Sidonius, we have all three signatures for you.

David Salt, Donna Hughes, and of course,

Stephanie Delacorte.

Fantastic.

Where's the money?

Ta -da!

Oh, my God!

I know.

Do you mean to say that you are paying with gold? As a matter of fact, we are.

No, no. Look at this.

What? It has a serial number.

So what?

It's trackable.

I cannot accept trackable gold as payment for anything.

Why not?

Thanks to the Whitbees.

The Whitbees who ruin gold for all upon me. Oh!

The Yacht Club. Yacht Club. Yacht Club. The Yacht Club. I'll tell you later. The

sale almost went through until they noticed that every single bar was

with a Nazi eagle.

Created a cascade of bruised feelings that ricocheted all the way up to the

And now, they're considering taking America off the gold standard

all thanks to the whippies.

This isn't hawkable.

No, it's not hawkable.

Cash or the deal is on. Did you even know gold was no good in Palm Beach?

Yes, I knew. I just wasted our time for nothing.

I'm sorry. I just love blaming you for everything.

Oh, if it was last season, I'd just ransack the Delacourts, grab 20 or 30

maples, and sell them.

What if... we go to the Rollins, man?

I bet it's full of old giggle. It's worth way more than a ton of gold.

That's not a bad idea.

Yeah.

Too bad it's all under lock and key.

Half tunnel will travel.

Vaccines.

Sometimes.

I must admit.

You're good.

Easy does it. Easy does it. Nope, nope, nope.

You're not pushing hard enough. We have to push the same. You're pushing

yourself. See how hard it is. I bet you don't get anywhere.

Watch this.

You are freakishly strong.

Delicious. I love it.

Huge.

You are so dirty, Dick.

Oh, my God. Stop it.

No, you say goodbye first.

Okay. Bye -bye.

Dick Nixon, hero, American warlord.

Did he ask about me at all?

It doesn't matter.

He did.

He loves you running for mayor.

But he's one up to me. And this is why he's president.

Perry, he wants you to run as a Democrat.

I rebuke that.

Seeing as I'm officially the biggest Democratic donor in Palm Beach, thanks

Axel, he wants me to line up a whole slate of Democratic losers so

Republicans can run the table come the election.

Starting with you, Per.

Isn't that brilliant?

You announce tonight at Marjorie Merriweather Post Square Dance, all the

candidates for mayor will be there.

So I have to stand up in front of everyone and pretend to be a Democrat?

Yeah.

Sorry. Has anyone seen Douglas?

Well, honey, I assumed he was with you. And I assumed he was with him. And I

assumed he was doing Doug stuff.

When was the last time you saw him? He wasn't on the couch when I woke up this

morning. Well, maybe if you let him sleep in the same bed, you could keep

home. He's been talking nonstop about Pinky getting him. Do you think he got

gotten? I am sure he did not get gotten. You know what helps in a moment like

this is a friendly, long -lasting, carried -in -your -pocket -all -day

hug. Mitzi doesn't need a hug, Perry.

Here's what we're going to do. We'll stop by Pinky and Raquel's to confirm he

hasn't got gotten before getting ready for the big square dance, okay?

One hug, huh?

Honey, nobody wants any hugs.

Hi, here to see Raquel.

I wasn't expecting company.

I'm in the middle of something.

Something as in... Pinky and I were preparing to host.

Do you have a sec for a chat?

So what are you, in your second trimester?

Did you see that guy? He had the look of a killer in his eye.

Yeah.

Some of your ankles started swelling, or... You don't think they're actually

gonna, like, kill him, right?

Is it kicking you?

Sorry for the drop in. The reason for my calling was to make sure that you and

Pinky were attending the square dance at Match Post Place.

Mayor Barnhill really could use your support.

I thought you were a Democrat now.

be the one running the Palm Beach Democratic machine, but Dick Nixon

charged me with running losing candidates so we can have a GOP sweep.

That's good.

Mm -hmm. Well, I'm doing it for Dick. What some women won't do.

What was that?

What was what?

That.

Gracias,

amor. Gracias,

amor. Oh, gosh.

Do you speak Spanish?

No.

I just repeated what you said. I have a great ear. You know what? I don't have a

lot of time right now. Of course.

So I'm going to go.

Okay. Don't you just stay. Thanks a lot, Raquel.

We have him.

We have him.

I could hear him thrashing around.

And they were talking about killing him in Spanish, but they didn't know that I

learned a lot of Spanish from... From Eddie. From my gap here in Ibiza, if you

must know, Perry.

Am I to be a widow? No.

We have a little time. They're not going to do it tonight because they're going

to the big square dance at Marjorie and Meriwether Post. How cold -blooded!

It would be more cold -blooded if they slit his throat and then went to the

square dance.

True. We have to go to the police. No police, Mitzi. No police.

Then the FBI.

No FBI either.

Perry, who are you?

But the second that we go to the police, the Duxters, the dead man, know we're

going to go to that square dance.

And you're going to use your feminine wiles with Pinky.

What does that mean?

It means you're going to improvise.

Exactly. The Duxters' life is on the line.

Now, if anyone in this car, Mitzi, needs a hug, just let me know.

Harry, drive.

Being in business with you is just an absolute delight.

Oh, keep your pants on.

Though, just let's do go in and out real quick, like cat burglars. What's your

rush? That's not going anywhere.

I might have a little thingy, dinner thing.

You have a date? Whoever with?

Palm Beach's finest lawyer slash gynecologist, Dr. Dusty Magic.

And I'm going to need eight hours to get ready and a jar of mayonnaise.

Second date.

Oh, Maxine.

Back in Tate, what a conundrum.

Conundrum? Well, I don't really see it as that.

Look, it's just practice. You know, just get back in the swing of things.

Dr.

Dusty is doing perfectly fine, but he's not doing Palm Beach fine. He works for

a living. So, yeah, practice, meaning, you know, an opportunity to rush out the

garden.

Truthfully, darling, how long has it been?

I think it's been quite some time. Well, hence the conundrum.

Polite girls wait until three, but sometimes after two, you're ready to

your all.

Well, I'm sure I don't know anything about all that.

You see, well, it's kind of embarrassing.

What?

I've only ever been with Douglas.

You mean to say you've only had... Oh.

You know.

What's that?

Ben Dick.

What do you mean?

Bent dick. I had on rather good authority that Douglas' ballpark crank

into home.

Not that it's any of your business.

But it... But it is... a bit letter J

in scope and demeanor. I love it when a rumor goes right.

Are you saying they're not all like that? Most of them, Maxine, are as

as Saturn rockets.

Like a pencil?

Mm -hmm, but thicker. Well, how do you know, anyway, about Douglas and Douglas?

That's a very well -known story.

Long ago and far away, Douglas and Perry and their other dum -dum stag brothers

were playing the time and memorial bachelor party game Brick on a Dick,

like it sounds.

Apparently, Douglas worked his way up the cinder block.

Suffice to say, of course, Keith had to run him to the emergency room, and the

rest is history.

Gee, I wonder if that's why I've got kidney problems.

Oh, good God.

Oh, good God.

impound everything.

Those motherfuckers even took my birds, not a feather of which belonged to

Linda.

Oh, Evelyn, look, it's an accounting.

Oh, this is disgusting.

Literally every single thing.

They even cataloged my old pasties, left and right nipples separately.

Oh, Evelyn, look, a receipt.

Five thousand dollars.

Nothing left to hawk.

What do we do?

Hello. What are you doing?

Just reading a little bit.

All the guys are going to Ronald's bachelor party tonight.

I'm the only one on duty.

It might not be the most romantic environment, but I did bring a picnic

For two.

If you're interested.

I'd love that.

Robert! Robert!

I see you in a few. All right. Robert!

Yeah? We gotta sell those paintings.

But they've been shipped.

Unship them?

They've been shipped.

Give me a minute.

Curious.

How much money is in the, uh, Delacorte accounts, anyway?

I'm not telling.

Are you still struggling?

Please. Yes.

A whole bunch.

A bunch?

You've been holding out on me.

How's this?

You write me a check for a whole bunch of money.

I write you an IOU.

I take the Rollins gold, turn it into cash, and pay you back. It's called a

bridge loan, and I know about this because I am now an international woman

business. But that's not going to happen, Maxine.

You decided not to tell Douglas, and I agree, because you were for the best.

How can you remain so calm in all this?

Because I'm off to fuck an FBI agent.

Bye. Selfish!

I have another missive from the airwaves. But

sadly, no bootlegger.

The monsoon washed away everything.

Up the amount to 200 ,000. And remember, Maxine, banana.

The children of the Siena Chicas are depending on you.

I can't believe you got all that on this teeny tiny little card.

Catherine Gibbs, Secretarial School.

Get the door.

Hello?

Hello. Hi.

Well, you've got quite a place here.

Oh, well, it's not really mine. I mean, technically, not yet.

I don't know.

Oh, you forgot about our second date.

No, gosh, no.

Oh, gosh, it's practically all I've been thinking about.

Here's the thing.

I'm so sorry.

I do have to cancel.

You mind telling me why?

There's an emergency. Two emergencies that I have to deal with now, tonight.

First things first. These flowers are sagging faster than tits on a bull in

Sahara. Oh, no, that's terrible.

Basin?

Water? There.

In the bar, to the left, around the wall.

How many bathrooms do you have here?

Many.

They're all flushable?

Oh, look at you.

Second things second.

I think you haven't dated anyone besides your husband in 20 years, and you're

exhibiting classic avoidance anxiety.

Yeah, see, the reason why my gynecological practice is so successful

it's bolstered by a secondary doctorate in psychology.

Secondary doctorate? Yeah, I'm what you'd call an HMI, highly motivated

individual. Now, why don't we go on date two, followed up by a square dance at

Marjorie Post's place, and you can tell me all about these emergencies.

See, there's something I can't really tell you because it concerns... Oh,

I guess I can tell you about my situation with Linda because you're my

and we've got attorney -client privilege.

Bingo. And I can tell you about my international woman of business troubles

Evelyn. Fix your drink?

Yes, please.

So, Evelyn and I need $3 million to commence the purchase of the Pomeroyale.

Now, tonight.

And Linda, she's spearheading an urgent literary intervention in the jungle. And

it's $200 ,000.

Also, now. What? Tonight.

And, well, the remains of the Rollins estate, they're in gold bars, which are

unusable. Because the Whitbys ruined gold in Pompeii.

So,

as you can see,

I really can't go on our date.

Ah, well, au contraire.

Our date, young lady, is now imperative.

Imperative? Why?

Who do you think wound up buying the Whitby's Nazi gold?

Who?

None other than Marjorie Merriweather.

Post. All that shit was priceless.

Does nobody know the worth of anything anymore?

The entire parlor was Chippendale.

Maybe this is an opportunity.

Oh, where's the opportunity in having your entire life confiscated? It's as if

never even existed.

It's also a brand new slate.

It's easy for you to say. You've never been told that your entire life only

up to $5 ,000.

No. But my family and I were hustled onto a boat at midnight with just the

shirts on our backs to escape the most beautiful prison on earth and avoid

execution.

It's not very fair of you, Eddie, to hold a trump card like that when I'm in

chaos.

It's what happens.

And I appreciate the perspective, still.

One thing I wish I could have retained.

Heath had it made for me.

Gold. Statue of myself in my heyday as a shell girl. I always loved that piece

Anyway, I Guess our dream has been dashed.

I'll teach me for having ambition What a fool and I was so looking forward to

seeing everybody's faces when they realized it underestimated the tennis,

Where are you going to

make a drink for you?

Oh, um... What's wrong?

It was just passing thought.

Think nothing of it.

Evelyn?

It was just a little flash of irrationality that, um... you were

Why would you jump to that?

Because I've disappointed you.

Forgive my knee -jerk alarm.

It's been a day.

It's been a life, for that matter.

Corazon.

Si.

I'm going to have feelings.

And when I do have a feeling, it does not mean that I'm leaving.

It's Evelyn. What?

Evelyn, tell me you've got rodeo gear in Spurs.

Well, of course I do. Why?

Because after my dinner, you and I are going on a good old -fashioned gold bar

selling hootenanny.

Welcome to Marge's Mighty Mar -

prison and they're dead.

It's okay, honey.

I'm getting dizzy.

No, no, no. Mitzi, now's your chance.

Ass out. Sit up. Dance on over and make a pleat of pinky.

That really objectifies me. Little Mitzi, do you want Douglas' release or

Mitzi, I'm gonna do it for you.

Do what?

If they're here, that means he's there, alone.

Which means...

This is my one chance to get my stack, brother, a .k .a. Dougie Bunch, a .k .a.

your husband.

And I'm going to do it for you.

I'm going to go to the cops.

What did you say?

I said I'm dizzy. I need to stop.

Are you a registered voter in Palm Beach?

Are you a Democrat?

I've never had a man who wanted to solve my problems. I've always been the

problem solver.

I have to admit, it's unsettling.

Best of ways out.

Yes.

You certainly are a confident man.

The moment I laid eyes on you, I just...

Pretend? Do what?

That I found someone like me.

You're a fixer, Maxine, a doer. And you can see the gears of the world and you

know just exactly which one to jam to get exactly what you want.

If I may be so forward, what do you want, Maxine? Oh, I haven't looked.

I was going to try the gator. Oh, in life. No, what do you want in life?

Gee.

I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before.

Really? It's certainly been as long as I can remember that anyone has truly,

actually considered me.

Well, that, you know, and the reason why I bring this up is

that, well, I like you, Maxie. Oh.

And I'm not going to lie, I've been hurt.

Although my...

outward demeanor doesn't show.

Oh, you poor thing.

You're once bitten, twice shy. Sorry.

Which does give me a pause when I hear your confusion over moving on from your

marriage. Look, the thing I want out of life most is love.

I know that may sound corny or old -fashioned, but Dr. Dusty, I do.

I believe in love.

Hold your hand now.

Oh.

Maxine, there is nothing silly about love.

And if I may be so forward, if I'm ever going to let the big L and print it drop

on my heart again, there's one thing that I need to know.

That you are over him.

I promise.

Sure as I'm sitting here.

If there is a button type out there, let it just not me.

That's all I needed to hear.

So sorry to interrupt.

Welcome. To the fang and tail, Loxahatchee's preeminent and gourmet

dining experience.

My name is Jedabadiah, your gator sommelier.

On tonight's menu, Esmeralda.

Esmeralda's going to be a bit salty on the palate for those who prefer an ocean

rear specimen.

Over here we have Jake.

Jake is going to be a bit more sinewy, but with a truly rewarding gamey finish.

Now, we do have a special tonight.

And Hildegard has been raised on nothing but being cherries, which will impart

the sweetest of sensations.

Hildegard. Oh, Jinx, buy me a Coke.

Oh, and we'll begin with 20 ounces of caviar, a gin martini for me, a twist.

And you don't remember my Coke, do you?

Oh, no, thank you. Just a figure of speech.

And for the lady,

a grasshopper.

You do have creme de cacao.

Do we ever.

All right, we'll get those drinks flowing and get this alligator body

Thank you, Divita Divita.

Sorry you missed your bachelor party.

I prefer my own private party. That's right.

But can't always rely on agents getting married.

And I'm sorry you can't come to my place anymore.

I know a place. A motel in West Palm Beach.

Guess you could call it a...

No tell, no tell.

It seems we can't meet at your place anymore.

I'm kind of falling in love with you.

Aren't you gonna say you're kind of falling in love with me too?

Can we come up with another word for us?

That one's just fine.

Tried and true.

See, but I met someone last season, and I was about to drop everything for him,

and, um... And what?

Well, you arrested him.

Yeah,

right after Maxine tipped you off.

The clone artist.

Ironic.

And you loved him.

No, everything was so fast.

That was the first word that jumped into my heart.

So I want a new word for us and a future.

I can promise you a now and then another now.

And enough nows add up to a future, don't they?

I'd like to report a kidnapping.

Now! Yes, ma 'am.

What happened to your shirt?

Um, I'm in the middle of changing shifts.

Oh, what's this?

I'll be right back.

Do you mind?

Please. Oh, the baby loves charcuterie.

Sides go in and then rotate.

Hits will follow. Don't be late.

All this loot.

Marjorie is a world -class hoarder.

Cheesy, crazy.

They're pergé eggs.

Very good, Maxine. Out of a dozen surviving imperial eggs made for the

she's got 11 of them.

Boo -hoo -hoo. You need to sell your chalice.

I don't care if it is the cup that caught the blood from the severed penis

Saint Who's -It -Wants -It. I won't pay a penny over its market weight in

silver.

Minus 40%.

Hilton, why do we have them? Am I right?

From here on out, only speak when spoken to, Maxine. And the outside world match

post is peaches and cream.

But behind closed doors, she'll tear your face off faster than a chimpanzee

give it to her men to saute for breakfast with a side of cereal.

I do not have a good feeling about that.

All we need between Maxine and the estate and me is, well, me is three mil

make it happen. The rest is gravy.

Evelyn. Marjorie.

You brought the shit.

We did indeed bring the shit.

Allow me to introduce my lawyer.

Right. Dr. Dusty Magic.

At last we meet.

Your reputation precedes you.

I know.

And this?

I don't give a shit who they are. Let's get this over with and get on up to

dancing. Evelyn, isn't that chair yours?

Yes.

And that's my mantel clock.

Statues. My birds.

All of this shit is mine.

I may have made my fortune in grape nuts and frozen food, but my secret passion

is buying and upselling other people's crap.

I have an agreement with the feds. They silo all their seizures to me for cents

on the dollar. I sell high to auction houses across the world.

There's no better high on earth, save mixing a little heroin and cocaine in my

minute tapioca.

Great constitutional.

So everything from the Rollins Mansion is now in your hands? Damn right.

It's called business.

That's why we're here. And we do know a lot about business, don't we, Evelyn?

Yes, apparently all business starts with grand larceny aided by the U .S.

government and Nazi gold under mattresses. Don't make me wipe the

your tongue.

No, no, no, no, no. We would never judge a woman with such clear and obvious and

astounding business acumen.

This is a genius. How did you even think of a vault in the basement?

Oh, gosh. I dream someday I can have one of these.

Hey, you!

Get where I can see you.

I started building this in 63.

Cuban Missile Crisis.

My architect said, you're crazy.

Mar -a -Lago's perfect.

128 rooms.

Ocean on one side, intercoastal on the other. What now, Madge? A bunker, too?

But when this world blows sky high, and it will, I'll be ready.

Will you?

I'll give you 50 cents on the dollar for it. For gold?

Marjorie, there's only one price for gold. It's the price of gold. Except

you have serialized bars and you need cash in a hurry. And if you're like me,

there's nothing more arousing than having people over a barrel.

Makes me want to get up and square dance.

Unless...

You have my long -longed -for Fabergé egg.

And you can name your price.

Oh, I wish we had it. We don't have it. No? Well, too bad. This is highway

robbery. I suppose this situation is a take it or take it.

Well, then.

While they count up this shit, let's dance it out.

You sure were something back there.

Well, you sure are something, too, Dr. Dusty Madler.

I'm glad you noticed.

You are putting on such a great face after everything that's happened today.

think Mad's in satisfaction knowing how badly she's humiliated me. Until that

money gets here, the yippee -ki -yay, all the live long day.

Marjorie, doll, heck of a hoot nanny, have you... seen that rascal Perry?

I know we're getting close to speech time. Well, well.

If it isn't Dinah Black Widow Rosenhip. I am doing my very best to put that

cruel moniker behind me. Oh, it's the right words to describe anybody

with Axel Rosenhip.

You'll never get my egg as long as I'm alive, Madge. Dear Madge, finally ready

to sell my egg.

Just kidding!

I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about.

Three syllables.

That -er -jay.

I'm still not getting it. Oh, I think you do.

In fact, I bet you've got it. And that's why I hate Democrats.

And why your husband will be mayor over my dead body.

I own the ballots and the boxes they're stuffed into.

That we have no intention of winning.

We are here on the orders of President Nixon himself to, in fact, lose. We're

the same side here.

Am I curious?

Most curious indeed.

Well, it turns out it was 6 .8 million market dollars in gold.

Half of that is 3 .4. Eddie, have the valet pull the car around. Careful,

heavy. It's 3 mil right there. And this is where I bid you a good fucking

goodnight.

And what about the... Oh, the... Commitment.

Four. It's right on the money.

Consider yourself blessed, Maxine.

That's your portion of the commitment.

Consider yourself magic.

Maxine, what's your commitment?

I'm not at liberty to say, except that the Rollins estate has been asked to

send funds to someone. Not Linda.

Um, will you excuse us, Dr. Dunty?

Maxine? Do you know where Linda is?

Um... There might have been something that came across the airwaves in a

sense as a conservator of the estate.

How could I have been such a dum -dum? It was you who got Linda out of town.

Well, I'm certainly not going to admit to that, but that would be admitting to

federal crime.

Which means this is all your fault.

Mine losing the Rollins mansion, the locked assets, the missing cash, 50

on the dollar to gold.

What is the matter now?

We've got our unbreakable bond of sisterhood.

Partners. International women of business. Together.

Why, Kel, I'd partner with a rat like you, Maxine. That six mil is mine, and

the other lost millions can now be considered the doing of the estate, a .k

you. The Palm Royale is now mine under sole ownership, and if you set one foot

inside it, so help me, I'll break it.

I ruin everything.

And I never even made contact with that dang courier.

I got something to tell you, Maxine. What is it?

Banana slut.

Again?

Banana slut.

You? You're the courier?

Dangerous work, but I'm a dedicated man.

What? Can't you, too, Dr. Dusty Magic?

Oh, I could do things you never dreamed of, Maxie.

Huh?

I said, go water this money, and then, if

I may be so bold, meet me at the Delacorte Pool House, where you and I

the most rigorous animal sex you've ever had in your entire life, thus beginning

to heal the wounds in my heart and yours. Oh, my goodness.

Are you going to kiss me?

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

And now we're going to introduce our two candidates for mayor. I know, I know,

there's seven running, but Lord knows I'm not inviting the socialists or the

greens to my stage.

It's bad enough having a Democrat.

Republican candidate for mayor, incumbent, Benny Barnhill. Come on, get

here.

Thank you, most honorable lady.

Missy, I've been looking all over for you.

What? What is it? Pinky took Douglas hostage.

Are you serious?

Pinky's trying to kill him because Douglas didn't want to give him to

Oh, he's so selfish.

I was ruining everything.

I was just about to do it.

He didn't know he was going to get kidnapped.

Oh, no, it is indeed every bit his fault.

Sooner or later he was going to find out, Maxine.

We tried.

Evelyn wants a fight?

Then a fight she will get.

And now we're going to introduce the Democratic candidate for mayor, Perry

Donahue.

Perry?

Perry?

You're really gonna do this?

Risk your life for a washed -up pilot who can't remember your birthday?

Oh, God.

I think I just pooped myself.

No, I really pooped myself.

My husband is indisposed, so I will give his prepared remarks.

Dear Lord, please don't.

Let them find my dead body with poop in my white pants.

I am here to tell you that Perry Donahue stands for so many

liberal, socially responsible things.

Wait, wait, wait.

Maybe I didn't poop myself.

Maybe I just farted.

Perry loves the environment.

Be somebody, Perry.

Be a hero.

Perry also believes that innocent civilians shouldn't be incinerated by

napalm.

I want to be a cowboy sweetheart I want to learn to row and to ride

I want to ride all the plains and the desert Out west of the great

divide I want to hear

You were there.

I want to ride old paint going

at a run. I want to feel the wind in my face.

A thousand miles from the city lights going a cowhands pace.

I want to feel on my head never sleeping hurt.

Have what? The Delacorte. You get to keep it for the club.

My handshake is my contract.

And bad things happen if you go back on it, Thomas.

All right.

You can let him go now.

Let who go?

Douglas. I'm coming for you, buddy.

I don't have Douglas.

You didn't kidnap Tickle?

Oh, we have the Delacorte mansion!

Wait!

Where's Linda Shaw?

I have no idea. We know you flew her to Cuba.

And we know who's behind it. You do?

I'm sorry about all your belongings.

Well, it wasn't easy come, but it sure was easy go.

Story of my life.

I believe this belongs to you.

Daddy. Oh, Daddy.

So this is a massive mansion.

Barreling along the side. Okay.

Followed by a big fat pig.

I'm kidding.

Oh my god.

I guess we both

had a very interesting night.

People in this town are nuts.

How did you hear about this place?

I raided it last year.

I'm keeping it from being raided.

I have a feeling we're gonna have a really good time here.

What's curious, Evelyn Rollins of the past, just this afternoon I thought you

were a depiction of me at the height of my powers.

But in reality, you are now witness to it.

Damn it, Douglas.

Gave up everything.

Pinky!

Doesn't even have it. Okay.

Okay.

This is officially revenge sex.

The feds black bagged me and held me for days.

Oh, thank God, food.

Yeah, they know that I flew Linda out of town, but I didn't crack.

They think Pinky is involved because it was his plane, and he's the one that

they're really after.

I just managed to save you and all the women of Palm Beach, so

you're welcome.

Nobody even cares that I was missing.

Nobody cares.

I've got news for you.

Thanks to your dumb, dumb disappearing act, I thought Pinky was going to kill

you. So I traded the Delacorte for your release.

And he never had you in the first place. What?

Don't you think you should have fucking confirmed that Pinky had me before you

gave away my house?

Very dare you.

Sexy. Are you? Yes.

Douglas. Yes.

I am about to screw someone else.

That's him.

That's him.

All right. Well, I am not sticking around for this.

No, no, no. You can't go out that way. You can't go out that way. It's my

Go out the back of my house. Go out the back of my own house. You should be the

one going out the back.

I see I'm interrupting.

No, no, no, no. This is not what it looks like at all.

Sorry about this, ma 'am.

Would you shut up, Douglas?

I thought you said you didn't buy it.

No. I... No, I don't. I know what it looks...

Goodbye, Maxine.

Good luck. What?

No.

Good riddance to him, huh?

You go nice places.

I've never been to any nice places.

Oh, but you go nice places.

Excuse me, mister, take me with you.

You do nice dancing.

My feet are nice.

Hello Robert.