Original subtitles

What have you done?

They said an incident. What sort of incident?

For God's sake, Tom, what have you done?

Mrs McKinney, please come in. Tom, you too.

Tom attacked another boy at lunchtime.

We think he may have broken his jaw.

Why? Well, the boy can't say,

and Tom won't say.

I've been concerned about his behaviour for some time now,

but all we can get out of him is a yes or a no.

Is he like that at home? Yeah.

And do you know why?

He's a teenager.

We think it might be a bit more than that.

We were wondering whether we should send him along to the Bureau.

The Bureau? The Merseyside Teenagers Mental Health Bureau.

Can we send Tom out for a minute?

Yeah, sure. Tom, would you mind just...

You know his history? Yes.

And obviously, we think that that could be linked.

That's why we'd like the Bureau to take a look at it.

And how do we go about that? We'll refer him.

And if you could get his GP to refer him too,

that'd help a lot.

PHONE BUZZES

I'm - I'm sorry about that. I know it looks bad.

Me mum's very ill, so I had leave it on.

PHONE KEEPS BUZZING

Hello?

Thanks.

Yeah, thanks.

Bye. Yeah, bye.

She's died.

Sorry to have to tell you this, Joe. Your mother's died.

Don't leave the house until I get back.

Right?

And you keep your phone switched on, because I'll be tracking you.

Stop for ten seconds, there's no phone for a week.

Right? Yeah.

Good.

Oh!

Oh, Mam.

The nonce on the wing here!

Hey, there's fucking bacon on the wing!

Yeah, go on, fuck off, you bastard!

Wait till they find out who you are!

ANGRY SHOUTING

You're going to die in here!

Do you hear me? You're going to die in here!

ALL CONVICTS SHOUT

RAILINGS RATTLE

RINGTONE

PHONE VIBRATES

Hello? Mum's phone.

I only phoned to hear her voice. I'm sorry.

It's Joe.

Give it here.

Hello?

Has Mum gone?

Yeah.

What was it, her heart?

Yes.

Is she still there? No. And she died at home.

She's here now.

Can I come to the funeral, Dad? No. Please.

Anna will be there. Tom will be there.

How could you possibly come?

All right, bye.

You broke it. Her heart.

PRISONERS BANG ON DOORS

LOUD SHOUTING

I'll write the referral, of course I will.

But there's no guarantee

the mental health team will think him sick enough to be seen.

What do you mean, not sick enough?

There's an epidemic of mental illness amongst children, Anna,

and they can only see the worst of them.

But if he is sick enough...?

First appointment, 21 weeks.

OK. And in the meantime?

One of those groups might be able to help,

but we don't recommend any in particular.

Right. I'm sorry I can't do more to help.

Um...

..I work in a supermarket on the till, and it's getting to me.

Um...

If you'd asked for a bag, I'd have given you a bag

so stop implying I'm a liar, right?

I need you to sign me off.

And I could do with some of those pills you gave me last time.

I can't, Anna.

You're here about Tom.

To talk about you, you need another appointment.

Right.

You can make an appointment on the way out.

Right.

I want you to read at your grandma's funeral.

Peter's reading one, and I want you to read the other. Will you?

No.

Did you love her?

Yeah. Right, then show her. Read at her funeral.

Are you doing this to get attention? Is that what it is?

No. He's a knob.

You think you've done it for so long now that you can't go back on it?

He's just a knob.

Are you doing it for a bet? No. A dare? No.

Did someone at school dare you to do it? No.

He's just a ginormous knob.

I introduced your nan and your grandad, you know?

Did you? Yeah. We were at a concert.

We were stood in a hot dog queue.

I saw your nan looking over at your grandad...

..so I introduced them.

They got talking. They ended up getting married.

She was a great woman.

We therefore commit her body to the ground.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS

Hey. One G&T. Ta.

Hey, you want another, Paul? Nah, I'm good, mate, thanks.

You're not back on them, are you? No.

Just today. She'd kill you. Yeah, I know.

It's hard, isn't it?

It's even harder when you're full of guilt, mate.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I've had a few other women, Paul. Not many, but a few.

Jodie Taylor. Jodie Taylor in there? Yeah.

Bloody hell.

Punching above your weight there, aren't you? Yeah.

I thought, "There's no way I'm ever going to regret this,

"stark bollock naked with Jodie Taylor."

But it's doing me in, mate.

No-one's perfect.

You loved your missus. Your missus loved you.

That's what counts.

HE SIGHS

He's been here all day? Yeah.

What are you doing here?

You had your lunch here?

Yeah. No teacher? No.

You've been here all day on your own?

Yeah.

I am not having this conversation out here.

Please, come in. Yeah. OK.

Tom has been put into special educational needs.

He hasn't, has he?

He's been simply separated from the rest of the school.

For now, yes. And when does that change?

As soon as we can get someone. Tomorrow?

No, not tomorrow. Next week? Week after that? I don't know.

Well, I'm going to take him home and school him there.

Because he's not leaving.

And when he's better, I want him back here, functioning normally.

Mrs, McKinney, can we please talk about... No, we cannot.

PHONE BUZZES

Hi.

Can you talk?

Yeah.

You haven't been in touch.

No.

Why?

It doesn't seem right.

It was all right when she was alive, but not now that she's dead?

Yeah.

We could hurt her when she was alive. We can't now.

I know, but it still doesn't seem right.

So what do you want to do?

I don't know. Do you want us to finish?

I don't know.

There's nothing to stop us seeing each other now.

OK, it's a bit soon, so we keep it secret a bit longer,

but eventually, we can, it can be out in the open.

Yeah?

Er, there's someone at the door. I've got to go.

Right.

So when you get out, you can't go near the victim or his family.

You understand that?

Yeah. So we drew up an exclusion zone.

Right?

It's basically anywhere within the 26 bus route.

He lives there, goes to school there, his mates are there.

His mum's there, and their family.

So it's a no-go-zone area for you, I'm afraid.

And I'll see you get a copy of that.

Going to look for a job?

Well, I sent out 28 letters and I got one reply.

It was like, "Dear sir, thank you for your letter,

"but our policy is not to employ sex offenders.

"Yours sincerely, etc." Am I getting a whiff of self-pity there, Joe?

No, no, it's just, it's more of a realistic appraisal

on me current situation, that's all.

Right.

Have you thought any more about the hostel?

Yeah, I don't want to.

Well, have you got anywhere else to live?

No. Then why not back the hostel?

Because they'll know I'm a sex offender.

Not necessarily. Oh, they'll know, and they'll glass me.

Like, I've seen it before, Jack.

Have you heard of St Maura's?

No.

Well, they take in men who've sexually offended.

And there's six places,

but I know there's only five there at the moment.

What, is it a Christian thing? Yeah.

Have I got to go to church and all that?

Only on a Sunday. Well, Joe, it's either these people or a tent.

They don't need you. You need them.

So are you interested?

Well, now that you put it like that, yeah.

Well, they'll have to interview you first. It's a Katherine Farrell.

OK.

Hi, you all right? Hiya. Right, do you want to sit down?

Yeah. So you want to come and stay with us for a bit, yeah?

Yeah. Why?

Well, I've, um, I've got nowhere else to go.

Well, you'd have to work with us.

Work on coming to terms with what you did.

It would be different from what you've done here in the prison.

Could you do that?

Yeah.

And what would you hope to get from that?

Um, forgiveness.

Do you think that's likely?

No, but you said, "hope to get", not, not "expect to get."

Anything else? Anything else you'd hope to get from it?

Yeah, but it's, it's, like, selfish of me. Isn't forgiveness selfish?

Yeah, but it can help the forgiver, can't it?

Like, this other thing's just for me.

What is it?

I'd rather not say, if that's OK.

Oh, it doesn't really work like that, Joe.

You see, we expect, uh, openness and honesty.

Like, to go to sleep one night not hating myself,

and to wake up one morning not hating myself.

Like, just once.

I don't know, if it can happen once, it can happen again, can't it?

LAUGHTER NEARBY

I've been in their DMs.

Hey, hey, hey!

PLAYFUL BANTER

CALL RINGS OUT

Hello? Hi. It's, um, it's Joe Mitchell.

You told me to phone when I was on Cranfield Street.

I'm here now. Yeah, it's number 32, Joe.

All right. Thanks.

Hi, are you all right? Yeah. Come in, then.

We like to keep the address a secret, if you could do the same.

Otherwise, it's bricks through the window and whatnot.

Right. Would you like a cup of tea?

Um, yeah, please.

We want you to come to church with us on a Sunday.

Can you do that? Yeah.

And you're not to bring anyone back here...

..ever.

OK.

Right. How do you take your tea?

So, you don't... It's not, um,

X and Y, it's apples and bananas.

Right? So four bananas and two bananas,

that's six bananas, right?

And then six bananas over three, divided by three, yeah?

Yeah. Six bananas divided by three bananas,

that's two, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah? Two bananas. So say it.

So say it, son.

Please.

DOORBELL RINGS

That's someone to look at the house.

SHE OPENS FRONT DOOR

Hi.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Yeah.

We've started. Started what?

Eating.

Oh. All right.

Er, sorry.

Do you want to sit down?

Yeah.

This is Ben, Lenny, Bryan, Mike and Jack. Hiya.

All right?

Help yourself.

Can I just...get that?

Thanks.

Lenny... Thanks. ..sitting the other side of me, yeah?

Yeah.

He fucked his ten-year-old daughter.

I read his file.

There's some good stuff in it.

All right.

You got your file? Yeah.

Could I read it? No.

I'd let you read mine. I'm fine, thanks, mate.

Hopefully, this will be the first of a few sessions

that we have together, Joe.

Is it like therapy? A bit like that, yeah. All right.

Did you get loads of these in prison?

Yeah. What were they like?

Yeah, they were good.

They were shit, weren't they?

Yeah.

Why'd you go?

Don't know.

Get your boxes ticked?

Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that you're going to find these,

uh, a bit more helpful.

In prison, they might have told you

that you'd always be as you are now, sexually attracted to boys.

No cure. Just control it. Is that right?

Yeah.

We don't believe that.

We believe that we can do more.

Would you like that?

Not today, obviously.

It will take some time.

Could you fix me?

I don't know.

Anna got married, and that just left me,

me dad and me mum.

And I'd come home from work

and hang around for me tea and then go out for a pint. Every night?

Most nights, yeah.

Did you have girlfriends?

I had a few, yeah.

And were you intimate sexually with them?

Yeah.

Did you enjoy it?

Sometimes, yeah.

Did your mum and dad visit you in prison?

No, it was just me mum. Me dad couldn't even look at me, really.

Yeah, no-one could. It was, um.

It was just me mum that came to see me.

That must have been incredibly hard when she died.

Yeah.

Did you get to see her?

No.

Did you go to the funeral?

No, I wasn't allowed.

I'm sorry, Joe.

Well, it's no more than I deserve. Really?

Well, I'm shit, aren't I?

I'm just a piece of shit.

Would you like to be me?

I'm happy being me. Well, then, you don't realise how lucky you are.

Like...when do these, um...

When do these sessions finish? Like, when do they end?

Do you want them to end? Yeah. Fine.

Had you done it before, what you did to Tom?

Had you done it to anybody else?

No.

OK.

Can you tell me what happened?

Well, it's in there. Well, I'd like you to tell me. Why?

I'd like to hear it from you, if that's OK.

Lots of people want to come here, Joe.

They'd give their right arm to be sitting where you are now.

That's why we expect everyone here to do their very best.

I like making things. And, and Tom's the same.

He's got, like, the same gene.

Um...

And I'd been going round there every Sunday,

and we'd have, like, a late breakfast.

And they'd go and wash up,

and then me and Tom would go into the yard

and do a bit of welding or something.

But this day I wanted to show him,

show him some good stuff on the internet, so...

So we stayed in the room and...

And it was warm and he had, like, a...

He had, like, a T-shirt and shorts on.

And, and he was all just like...

..arms and legs and not, not...

Not an ounce of fat on him.

Like, he was, um...

He was beautiful.

I...I...

I'd been, I'd been touching him for weeks

and I'd started off with, like, a...

..a little pat on the knee at the end and...

And went a bit, a bit, a bit further up each time.

And he didn't say nothing, so...

So I thought like, oh, like, "This is it. This is..."

Like, "This is the day I touch his cock."

And...

..I touched it and he, like,

he went berserk and...

..and his mum and dad came in and his dad started hitting me.

And I felt like I had to take it, so I did.

And then I don't...I don't know where I went after that,

but by the time I got back,

there was, like, a police car waiting outside our house.

Like, I do, I do feel ashamed

of what I did to Tom and his parents.

I do, but...

But I feel...

..I feel even more ashamed of what I did to me mum.

HE SNIFFS

Why can't you do the hours that you're doing now?

Because I need to home-school me son.

Well, can't you home-school him at night? No.

Why not?

Because I just can't. So, what would you like?

Well, ideally... Excuse me, where are your eggs?

Um, it's down that aisle, bottom right.

Oh, thanks. Ideally, I'd like a split shift,

like early mornings and late afternoons.

I can't. I don't need anybody early morning,

and there's no such shift anyway.

Right, so what am I supposed to do?

Carry on with what you're doing or jack it in. What's it to be?

I really appreciate the overwhelming sympathy you're displaying.

What's it to be? Well, I'll keep the hours I've got. Right.

Tom?

Oh, God. Tom? Tom?

Tom!

Peter! What? Call an ambulance!

What? Call an ambulance, now! Come on, son. Come on, come on.

Hey, hey!

Come on. Come on.

Tom?

SIREN BLARES

They say it was a cry for help, but how can I help?

What can I do?

The Mental Health Bureau will see you sooner now.

Did you know that?

Is that why you did it, to move up the list?

Is it?

What do you want?

He's me son.

You OK, son? Yeah? Yeah.

What have you been doing, eh?

Peter called you, I assume.

Yeah.

He's my son, too.

What have they said?

They don't think it was a genuine attempt.

I've been trying to get him

an appointment with the Mental Health Bureau.

This means they'll definitely see him now.

OK.

I've come with nothing, so can you break the habit of a lifetime

and lend me a tenner, please?

I'll drive you. No, I want to get a taxi.

I've got no money. You've got no money?

It's all cards these days, isn't it?

Joe's out.

How?

Well, he got just under four. He did half. He's out on licence.

He hasn't been round, has he? No. He's excluded.

Does Tom know he's out? Yeah.

Do you think that's why he did it?

The Bureau will find that out.

I, um, I...

I might have to pack me job in.

Why's that? I'm home-schooling Tom,

which means you're going to have to shape up a bit, money-wise.

Yeah, well, I'll do me best.

SHE LAUGHS DRILY

You had anyone round? Yeah.

Any offers?

No.

No.

Do you think maybe you're asking a bit too much? No.

Can I come in?

CHUCKLING: No.

Most merciful God,

we have sinned against you in thought, word and deed,

by what we have done and by what we have left undone.

We have not loved you with our whole heart,

and we have not loved our neighbours as ourselves.

And we justly deserve your present and eternal punishment.

Through our faults, through our faults,

through our most grievous faults, amen.

May Almighty God have mercy on us,

forgive us our sins,

and bring us to everlasting life. Amen.

Take a seat, Joe.

Now, we, um, we want you to be part of our community here, Joe.

All right. At the same time, we have

to protect this community, yes? Yeah.

So you see there's a bit of a dilemma there, yeah?

Your, uh, development, your growth,

versus the safety of the people.

So we've drawn up a few rules. My rules, not the church's.

And I'd like to outline them, if that's OK.

OK. Right. So, we'd like you to come to service, Joe,

but only this one.

The service at this time of day has fewer children, you see.

OK? And you always sit here, Joe,

all together, and not with any other members of the congregation.

And you're not to speak to any other members of the congregation.

If they speak to you, answer them, by all means.

But you're not to initiate a conversation with anyone.

If you bump into any member of the congregation outside this church,

you're to let us know.

And if you arrange to meet anyone, you're to tell us

and we'll decide whether it's suitable.

Well, then, all that said, Joe, welcome to St Maura's.

Mrs McKinney, please come in. How are you?

I've been better.

Oh. How's Tom? Um, he's, he's OK.

He's still not talking, but he's reading and writing.

And I'm not the best home-schooler,

but, you know, he seems to be doing OK.

Difficult, isn't it?

Stressful? Yeah.

Have you thought any more about the specialist school?

Yeah. He's not going. May I ask why?

Well, would you send your son there?

Well, yeah, if he needed it.

They're not what you imagine, Mrs McKinney.

They do brilliant work with children with specialist needs.

He's, he's still not going.

You know, I know the head teacher of Church Road Comprehensive...

He's not going there either.

It's got every facility that Tom could ever need.

It's got every facility

because everyone who goes there is thick as two short planks.

And I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say that,

but sod it, it's the truth.

So what do you intend to do, then?

I'm going to continue to home-school,

and the Mental Health Bureau is going to treat him.

And when he's better, he's...

He's going to come back here.

Yeah, and that could take a long time. Yeah.

You know, there's Sharecross.

That's a... Well, it's a very good school.

It's not as good as Church Road, but it's still very good.

I think it would really suit Tom.

Mm-hm.

Am I right in thinking that if he goes to another school,

then he becomes their problem?

Like, he won't be able to come back here, for instance,

when he gets better?

No, he wouldn't. Right, so how is that good for Tom,

taking him out of the school that he loves,

where he knows everyone,

and dumping him somewhere strange,

when he needs more support than he's ever done?

It's good for Tom because it brings

a bit of certainty back into his life.

Well, I don't think it does. I think it does the opposite.

Well, we need a decision, Mrs McKinney.

It's Church Road Comprehensive, Sharecross or the specialist school.

Right, and I've made my decision - none of them.

If you won't do it, we'll do it for you.

Why are you doing this?

You hardly see Tom. What's your problem?

Well, if you won't do it, we'll have to do it for you.

It's the absenteeism, isn't it?

Yeah, because he's spoiling your record,

your oh-so-precious school attendance record.

This has got nothing to do with the absenteeism figures.

Oh, it's got everything to do with it.

And I'll tell you something. I'm going to go,

but you're going to listen to this first.

This is my son's local school.

His brother comes here,

I came here, and if you try to drive him out,

I am going to contact every parent governor

and ask them how they'd like their kids treated like this.

They're desperately ill kids, because that's what my son is,

how they'd like their kids treated in this fashion.

And I promise you, I will do that.

KATHERINE: I'd like you to go back

to the day that you committed the offence.

Right. Can you tell me what you were thinking?

Nothing.

You said that you knew that was the day you'd touch Tom.

Yeah.

What did you think his reaction would be?

I thought he'd like it. Why? Just did.

Prior to that, you touched his knee and his leg, yeah?

Yeah. How did he react?

He didn't. He didn't say he liked it?

No.

And he didn't say he didn't like it?

No.

So, what made you think he'd like you to touch his penis?

Is it too difficult to answer?

But there is an answer?

Yeah.

SHE COUGHS

I've got breast cancer.

I'm telling my mum tonight.

I'm dreading it.

She wanted me to get married, like my sister,

have kids, like my sister,

have grandchildren, like my sister.

And instead, I became a nun.

Because that's what God wanted me to do.

And now I've got breast cancer.

The nuns' disease.

She's going to find it really difficult.

Is there anything they can do? Yeah. A mastectomy.

I don't know when, but soon.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you, Joe.

What, so now you're expecting me to tell you everything

because you've told me that? No.

No, I just wanted you to know that what happens here goes both ways.

Right.

And now there's silence.

Are you uncomfortable with silence with me? I'm...

I'm a child abuser. I'm just waiting for you to speak.

I was touched-up when I was 12.

You won't find it in there because I've never told anyone.

You see, in prison, it's about what you've done, not...

Not what's been done to you.

Would you like to tell me about that?

I used to play footy when I was a kid. And...

And one day I got sent off and I was alone in the changing room.

And our manager came in and...

He sat next to me and started talking to me and...

..touching me and rubbing me,

and I came.

Like, I was only 12, but I came.

How did you feel about that?

I loved it, didn't I?

I'm a piece of shit, so I loved it.

Sorry, Mum.

I love ya.

Anna, please don't say I was here.

If you say I was here, I go back to prison. Like, please don't do that.

I'm sorry.

PHONE RINGS

I'm sorry, I just, I just really needed to see her.

I'm sorry. You bastard!

I'm sorry.

Fuck you!

We're going to seal the lamb.

So, bit of oil in the pan, there you go.

Not too much.

Yep. Yep. Done.

There, and when it's hot enough...

..we add...the lamb.

All right. Right, now move it around, so it doesn't stick.

And then turn it over, so it all cooks through.

I saw Joe today.

What?

I saw him.

Where? At the cemetery.

Your mother's? Yeah.

He's excluded. I know.

What did he say?

He said not to tell anyone.

HE SCOFFS

Right, that's it. Come on. You're not cooking it,

you're sealing it.

You've got to tell them.

Right, and now we're going to add the meat to the veg...

..and mix it all in.

Right? Anna, love, you've got to tell them.

I know.

Well, you could move in here for a bit.

It might be easier to sell if it's less cluttered, your place.

Could be a bit of a trial.

If you didn't like it and the kids didn't like it,

you've still got your place to go back to.

I know about...Jodie Taylor.

How?

Me mam told me.

Your mum knew?

Yeah.

Oh.

How...

How long had she known? Um...

Since Boxing Day. Oh.

Why didn't, why didn't you say something?

Well, I was waiting for Mum to say something.

Oh.

Oh.

CALL RINGS OUT

Hi. She knew.

Sheila? Yeah.

I told Joe he broke his mother's heart.

And he did, no doubt about that.

But I did too.

So you know, then.

The cemetery is right in the middle of your exclusion area.

Well, it shouldn't be. Like, you can't keep me

away from me mother's grave.

Why didn't you say that when we drew it up?

Because I'm a piece of shit

and I've got no right to say anything.

What, what are you going to do?

I'm going to have to recall you back to prison.

What else can I do?

For God's sake, like...

You haven't just bumped into your sister.

You bumped into the mother of the victim.

Do you realise how serious that is.

Right, it was four o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon,

and I never expected to see anyone,

let alone a woman with two school-aged kids.

But she was there! Well, can I tell you why I went?

Yeah. You tell me why you went.

Like, me mum was the only one in me family

who spoke to me after I was arrested, right?

She was the only one in me family who visited me when I was put away

and I couldn't go and see her when she was dying.

And I couldn't go to the funeral when she was dead.

And now, like, you expect me to stay away from her grave?

Like, no, like, I won't.

Like, I'm not guilty of breaking any rules whatsoever.

Like, I'm guilty of loving me mum, and that's it.

JACK SIGHS

I'll have to speak to some people. I'll phone you tomorrow.

Please don't send me back to prison, Jack.

Like, I won't go any more, if that's what you want.

I'll phone ya tomorrow.

Did he say what time he'd call? No.

Right. Do you want me to speak to him?

Tell him how well you've been doing here? Would that help?

Please.

Hello?

Oh, thanks, Jack.

Thanks. Like, I won't, I won't do anything stupid now.

Like, you can trust me. Honestly.

Yeah.

Right. Bye.

Paul Patterson crossed the ball and

I caught it sweet on the half volley.

It hit the crossbar so hard

that when we came back a week later,

it was still rattling.

No lie there, son. Promise you, no lie.

So this therapy today,

there'll be a machine with a light on it, going backwards and forwards.

You just need to follow the light, yeah? Why?

Well, it helps clear the mind.

Right.

Just remember, you've always got one foot in this room.

Everything's fine here.

Right.

Give me a nice memory from when you were a child.

When you felt safe.

Um...

I was about five.

And we were at Newsham Park lake,

and it was me, Anna, and me mum and dad.

And we decided to go home and started walking.

And me dad said, "We'll never get a bus now. It's peak hour."

And I'd never heard of peak hour before

and there was, like, a wind blowing on the lake,

and it was making all the water peaky.

And I thought, like,

that, that meant peak hour

and that the water always did that at that time of the day.

Great.

This is your safe place,

and we can come back here whenever you need to.

OK? Yeah. OK. OK? Yeah.

Tell me again what you did to Tom.

Is that OK?

I remember putting me hand on his thigh.

That he'd like it because I liked it.

But every time I look at his face, all I see is horror.

So, like, I move me hand further up...

..thinking that the horror will turn to joy, but...

But it doesn't. And...

He, like, forces me hand away and starts shouting...

.."What do you think you're doing?"

And, um...

And then suddenly his dad's in the room

and, like, it only takes him, like,

a few seconds to work out what's going on.

And he just starts, like, um...

Like, punching me and punching me.

"He'll like it because I liked it." That's what you said, yeah? Yeah.

Can we go there? Is that OK?

Yeah. Um...

We're in the changing rooms and...

..and there's matches still going on.

And we're sitting down, just the two of us, and he's, um...

Like, he's touching me, so he still likes me.

Even though I've let everyone down, he still likes me.

Let's go back to the light again.

Then we'll see what happens.

Did you tell your mum about the cancer?

That was between us, Joe.

Was it as bad as what you thought it was going to be like?

Was it, um...

Was anyone else there when you told her?

Yeah, yeah, I did tell her.

Yeah, it was as bad as I thought it would be.

My sister was there.

She...

..hugged me, and my mum...

..just sat there and stared.

That's not good.

No.

You told your secret to a piece of shit, what did you expect?

What, you think you'll get something back from God, didn't you? Eh?

You gave him your life and what did you get in return?

Breast cancer. God didn't give me breast cancer, Joe.

God's will is never done.

We pray for it every day. "Thy will be done."

But it never is done.

It's man's will that gets done.

Big, hairy-arsed man.

Come in.

I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

Why did you say it?

Well, I didn't want to go there, so...

Shall we go back there tomorrow?

Can we, please?

Yeah.

And now?

He's speaking.

Um...

He's saying I've...

I've let myself down. I've let the team down.

I've let him down. And then he, um...

He puts his hand on, on me thigh.

What do you do?

I freeze.

And then...

..he stands.

And then he puts his hands down the front of me shorts.

Like, I try and pull him away, but he's, like,

he's too strong for me. And he's got...

He's got, he's got, like, his other hand on me shoulder, pressing down.

Sorry.

So, like, I can't, I can't move off the bench.

And, like, I think about shouting, but I can't

because if people come in, like,

they'll think it's going on because I want it to go on.

And I hear the referee's whistle and players' voices.

What can you see?

I'm looking through the window

at the top of the wall and I can see, like...

Like, twigs and clouds.

Why are you looking there?

Because I don't...

..I don't want to see what he's doing, cos it's horrible.

And I don't like it, but, like, there's...

There's nothing I can do because he's, like,

he's too strong for me.

He assaulted me.

But you looked up to him and trusted him.

Didn't want to think he could hurt you, but he had.

Well, why couldn't I see it as that?

Well, sometimes the brain shuts out things it can't cope with.

Some men who abuse, have themselves been abused.

So all this could go back to that? To what he did to me?

Possibly.

Mitchell! You fucking nonce!

Go on, lad!

Fucking nonce!

Get him!

Fucking nonce!

Nonce on the wing!

TAUNTS ECHO

Why did they do this to you?

They recognised me.

As?

As a man who sexually abused his 12-year-old nephew.

Wanted to show me what they thought of that,

and it's not a lot, obviously.

You want to hurt me now?

No.

Well, I don't mind, honestly.

Hello?

Hi. It's, um,

it's Joe Mitchell here, Paul.

I was thinking that we could, um, we could meet up.

Um...

Yeah. Come round.

Well, I can't, I'm...

I'm excluded from by ours.

Oh, right.

I was thinking, you know, um, you know, the pub, the Lion?

Yeah. When?

Er, tonight, at six o'clock or something?

OK. See you then.

Bye.

All right, Joe?

All right?

Erm, do you want a drink?

Yeah, go on, I'll have a pint of bitter.

Sorry, mate, can I have a pint of bitter, please?

Right, yeah. Thanks.

What happened? Nothing.

How are you?

I'm fine, yeah. You? I'm fine.

Well, no, I'm not, I'm not fine. I'm...

I'm a bit fucked up, to tell you the truth, Paul.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sorry about your mum.

Did you go to the funeral? Yeah, I did the eulogy.

Your dad wasn't up to it.

She was a great woman.

Yeah, she was.

You out on licence, then? Yeah. What was it like?

That's £2.80, please, mate.

Just keep the change, mate. Ta. Thanks.

Yeah, it was shit. Shall we, um, shall we take a seat? Yeah.

Paul, I'm thinking about going to the police

and telling them that you abused me when I was 12.

I didn't. You know, I hate you for it.

I hate you for the abuse, yeah,

but I hate you even more for what come after.

You abused me, right?

Then I went on to abuse.

And because I abused, I went to prison. And because I was in prison,

I couldn't see me dying mother.

Right, and that's down to you, mate.

I have no idea what you're talking about, Joe.

No, no, you also abused Sammy McVeigh

and I know this, because Sammy told me.

And if there was me and Sammy, then there must have been more.

So that's what all this is about.

You and Sammy trying to get money out of me.

A nice little scam.

Why me, Paul?

What did you see, eh?

How did you know that I'd say nothing and do nothing?

Like I said...

..I have no idea what you're talking about, Joe.

Oh, you do. You do.

FOOTSTEPS/DOOR OPENS

You all right, um, Hannah, isn't it?

What do you want?

Is Sammy there? No.

Please. It's actually really important.

He's gone for a walk.

Hello?

Hi. It's, um, it's Joe Mitchell here, Sammy.

What do you want?

Just to talk. I'm actually at your front door now.

Jesus.

You're out, then? Yeah.

What do you want to talk about?

Do you remember Paul Patterson?

Right. What? Won't be long. You're talking to that pervert?

Yeah. You should be ashamed of yourself, you. Hannah.

You piece of shit.

Doing that to a 12-year-old boy?

You piece of shit!

You filth, you scumbag!

Where do you want to go?

Anywhere, mate.

We'll go to the park.

Why are you going to the police?

Because I think he should pay for what he did.

Why are you telling me? Because I want you to come with me.

Why?

He abused you as well, mate.

Only three people know about that - you, me and him.

And that's the way it's going to stay.

No way is Hannah finding out about this, mate.

No way. Well, he fucked up our lives, Sammy.

He didn't fuck up mine.

You want to know why your life's a mess?

Because of what YOU did, not him.

Monstered your 12-year-old nephew.

I did it because Patterson did it to me.

Hang on a minute, then why didn't I do it?

I went through what you went through,

so why didn't I monster someone? Honestly, I don't know. I know.

You're not going to like it, but I know. It's because you're a nonce.

So you won't do it for me?

No. Well, then, do it for someone else.

He molested you and he molested me.

Like, he could be doing it to someone else right now.

Please come with me.

No.

Stay away from me house.

Right, there could be money in it.

How? Criminal injuries. It's too late for all that.

No, it's not. It's not.

How much?

I don't know. It'll be a few grand, though.

Who's your favourite, Mo Salah? No.

Virgil? No.

Ah, OK. Um...

Trent Alexander-Arnold. Yeah. Why Trent?

Because he's local? Yeah.

It's great when a local lad makes it, isn't it?

Yeah.

I did what you're doing.

I was about your age too.

Might have been a little bit older.

I told my friend a secret.

And he told someone else and got me into trouble.

So I thought, "That's it. No-one can be trusted.

"I'll say nothing in future."

I kept it up for a while,

and they took me to a psychologist,

and he got me talking again.

He fascinated me and I thought,

"I want to do what that man does."

And now I do, and I love it.

Not talking was the best thing I ever did, or didn't.

What is it, Tom?

You won't tell me mum?

Will I need to tell her? No.

Then I won't tell her.

He'd been touching me, like...

Me uncle.

Going a bit...higher each time.

But he seemed normal.

He didn't look like a perv.

Didn't talk like one. Didn't act like one, so...

..I said nothing.

And...

..then he went for this and...

..now me mum doesn't see him, and she used to see him all the time.

Peter, me brother, he doesn't see him, and he loved him.

And I don't see him. I don't want to see him, but I miss him.

And now Dad's gone,

and it's all because I didn't say something,

when I should have said something.

And if I didn't say it then, why say it now?

You've done really well today.

Is there anything else on your mind? Anything you want to talk about?

No.

OK.

VACUUM CLEANER WHIRS

Look at the state of you. I'm getting a shower now.

I've just done those stairs. Sorry.

SHE STOPS VACUUMING

What, you couldn't have a shower there?

They were cold. Well, the cold wouldn't kill you.

We won, by the way.

VACUUM STARTS AGAIN

So why didn't Sammy do it to anyone?

Well, you say I abused because I've been abused,

but what about Sammy?

Not everybody who's been abused, goes on to abuse, just some do.

So I might have done it anyway?

Even if I hadn't been abused, like, I still might have done it?

I think that's why he did it to me,

because he saw it in me...

..a pervert, so...so he did it.

You were a child, Joe.

But...I could cope with the lie. I've coped with it for years, but...

All this truthing, it's, like, it's just too much for me.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yes, please.

They're here.

KNOCKING AT DOOR

Hello. Hi. Hi, I'm Jack Hargreaves. I'm Brian Mitchell.

Yeah.

Hi.

Thanks for coming. Would you like to take a seat?

You're his probation officer? Yeah.

The man who didn't recall him to prison,

even though he bumped into his sister?

Yeah. Why?

That cemetery's in the exclusion zone, so why?

Didn't the liaison officer explain?

No.

Well, we thought it was too severe to exclude the cemetery.

So Joe can go.

But it's one day - well, an afternoon a week.

But on that afternoon, I can't go.

I won't be going anyway.

My wife's in there, and you're telling me when I can and cannot go?

I won't be going anyway, Dad.

I'm sorry.

BRIAN SWALLOWS

Look, I'm here for me dad, I'm here because he asked me to be here.

I've got no interest in anything he's got to say to me,

but, um, I've got something to say to him.

Did you know that my son tried to kill himself?

No.

Yeah, he tried to kill himself because of what you did to him.

I'm, I'm sorry.

He needed help, but I couldn't get him any

because he was just the victim, you see.

But you were getting help, weren't you?

You were getting plenty of help, like therapies galore.

But my son...

My son, the bloody victim, he couldn't get any.

I'm really, really sorry, Anna.

You were touching him for weeks, weren't you?

For weeks before you did that, you...

You were touching him on the leg, right?

Right?

Yeah.

And do you know how you got away with it?

Because you're my brother and you're his uncle.

And we loved you, you bastard!

How can someone you love be capable of something like that?

That's how you got away with it.

No-one hates me more than I hate myself, Anna. No.

I hate you.

I can promise you that I hate you.

And who else?

You what?

Well, who else did you abuse?

No-one. No-one, I swear. It was...

It was just Tom.

So, why are we here?

There's something Joe would like to say.

I was sexually abused when I was 12.

You weren't! I was.

We'd have known.

All right, I might not have known,

but your mother would.

She didn't know, Dad.

Who by?

Paul Patterson.

Paul Patterson's got two kids and three grandkids.

There's more chance of Mother Teresa abusing him than Paul Patterson.

He abused me, Dad.

When?

When I got sent off in the Moorgrove game,

he got the fella to open the changing rooms,

and he did it in there, honestly.

And what are you going to do about it?

Go to the police.

Oh, for God's sake.

He also abused Sammy McVeigh. Do you remember Sammy, Dad?

Sammy with the sweet left foot? Aye.

Is he going to the police?

Yeah.

Don't believe it. Sorry, I can't believe a word of this.

And why now?

Why would you tell us that now?

Because men who are abused, go on to abuse.

He-he made me what I am. And I hate him for it.

Men who are abused, go on to abuse?

Some.

So my son, then?

No. No, because he's decent. Right? Decent.

Like, you know what this is?

This is you just trying to throw even more shit at us,

even more filth. It's not. Someone did it to you,

so that means you can just do it to someone else? Well, no!

No, Joe. You did it because you're filth.

BELL RINGS

You all right, Bri?

Is Sammy in, Han?

Why?

Need to see him.

About Paul Patterson?

Yeah.

I knew this would happen.

I told you this would happen. Go in.

I told you you wouldn't get a minute's peace, you soft bastard.

Go in. I told you this would happen! Go in!

What is it?

Did Paul Patterson sexually abuse you?

Yeah.

And did he sexually abuse our Joe?

Yeah.

I didn't see it, but I saw them walking off the pitch together,

and I thought he was bound to have a go.

HE RATTLES LETTERBOX FLAP

Did you sexually abuse my son?

No, I didn't.

But you're here, so you think I might have done.

And that's enough for me.

It's enough for me, Brian, so why don't you just go?

Please.

Just go!

They've, um, got your son down at the police station.

Can I go? Yeah, I'll do this. Yeah, she's just going to take over.

I was expecting Tom!

'Course you were. It's always Tom.

No-one else exists to you apart from fucking Tom!

I want to go and live with me dad.

You want to live with your dad?

Well, there's no chance of that because he doesn't want you.

And he doesn't want you because you'll cost him money.

Do you know that he's not giving me one single penny to keep you two?

Not one single penny.

That meal you've just, you've just eaten,

that was paid for by me...

..doing a shitty job in a shitty supermarket.

And there's no thanks what-so-fucking-ever.

Yeah, it's about him all the time, but that's because he's ill.

And that's because he's been through what he's been through.

And I don't like it any more than you do.

But tough, that's the way it is.

And, yeah, I'm a lousy mother.

And you don't have to remind me of that

because I confront it every day.

I know I am one big, lousy mother, but you know what?

I'm one big, lousy mother who is doing the best she can.

And I'm sorry if it's not good enough for you,

but that's how it is.

I'm doing the best I can.

Do you want a cup of tea?

What?

I said...I said, do you want a cup of tea?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Paul Patterson, please stand.

Count one, you are charged with sexual assault of a child under 13,

contrary to section 7-1 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

The particulars are, between the 4th of May 2006

and the 17th of June 2006,

intentionally touched Samuel McVeigh.

The touching was sexual,

and Samuel McVeigh was aged under 13 years old.

To that charge, how do you plead? Not guilty. Count two.

Under the same act, on the 14th of September 2006,

you intentionally touched Joe Mitchell.

The touching was sexual

and Joe Mitchell was aged under 13 years old. To that charge,

how do you plead?

Not guilty.

The alleged abuse happened when you were 12 years old.

Yes. And you are now 31 years old. Is that right?

Yes. So you'd agree that this was over 19 years ago?

Yes. Yet you've only recently disclosed it?

Yes. I wanted to forget about it, but I've realised I can't.

Did you realise you can't forget about it

after a recent visit from Joe Mitchell?

Yes. Prior to this visit,

you'd been happily going about your life, hadn't you?

Well... Joe put this idea in your head, didn't he?

Well, he said he shouldn't get away with it for any longer.

And what was the first thing you did after Joe Mitchell's visit?

I went to the police. You didn't, though, did you?

What you actually did was try to get your hands on some money

from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority.

This case isn't about truth or justice.

It's all about money.

Your honour, this line of questioning is highly inappropriate.

I don't know how following a light makes you remember things better,

but, um...

But it did.

Like, I remember he used force

and his fingernails bit into me skin,

and it wasn't nice.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

It wasn't nice at all.

But then, you know, I'd done that to Tom, hadn't I?

You know, I'd done something like that to me own nephew, and...

..that made me feel even worse and made me hate myself even more.

He went back outside and I just sat there for a bit.

And, like, I'd never ejaculated before,

so I didn't know what it was.

So I went into the showers.

But, like, I felt too vulnerable to shower on me own.

So I cleaned myself up at the sink.

And then...

And then I went, I went back into the changing room and I heard...

..like, the referee's blown for full-time

and people coming into the building.

And then, um...

And then, like, the team I played for came in

and none of them said nothing to me because...

..I'd been sent off

and I had a bollocking from Paul.

And that was the reason why I was, I was sat there saying nothing.

And, um...

And then I went home with the lads I usually go home with,

and that was that.

Did Sammy McVeigh say anything?

Yeah. Yeah, on the bus, yeah.

He said, "Are you all right?", but, like, with a question mark,

"Are you all right?"

Thank you. No further questions.

You continued to play for the team after that day.

Yeah. And Paul Patterson continued as manager.

Yeah. You continued to play for a team

managed by a man who you say sexually abused you.

Yeah. And so did Sammy McVeigh.

And that was because this abuse never happened.

No, it did.

I carried on playing for the team because,

because they were good.

I know that you'll soon be hearing from some of the boys

that I've coached over the past 30 years or so.

But can I say this right now?

There could have been hundreds of them here today.

I've coached hundreds of boys over the last 30 years,

and not one of them...

..has a bad word to say about me, apart from these two.

And of these two, I...

..I believe Joe Mitchell is the stronger personality.

I think Sammy's only here because Joe Mitchell asked him to be here.

If you think about it, this is between me and Joe Mitchell.

So I ask you...

..who do you believe?

Me, a father and a grandfather?

Or him, a child abuser?

The jury's coming back.

Will the foreman of the jury please stand?

Have you reached a verdict on which you are all agreed?

We have.

On count one, sexual assault of Sammy McVeigh

between the 4th of May 2006 and the 16th of June 2006,

do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?

Not guilty.

On count two,

sexual assault of Joe Mitchell on the 14th of September 2006,

do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?

Not guilty.

Mr Patterson, you have been found not guilty.

The case against you is now finished.

You may now leave the dock.

You got your phone? Yeah, yeah.

Ready? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

It's not fair, Grandad.

I'm going over to him.

All right, come on.

Come on. Boys!

JOE SOBS

I'm so sorry, Dad.

Fancy a pint?

Come on.