Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

♪ Gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna have a good time ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another woo-hoo! ♪

♪ Yea-ah ♪

♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪

♪ I'm talking puppies ♪

♪ Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-puuuhh ♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

Hello, Star Butterfly! I have a special delivery for--

Oh-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Rainbow Fist Punch!

[grunts]

Star, why did you just punch that lady?

Uh, that is the ransomgram lady.

She's here to ransom us.

No. I also deliver the mail. Sometimes.

This is just mail.

Oh. Sorry!

No, it's fine.

People, uh... People do that--

OK, thank you, bye.

-Oh, no! -What is it?

Quest Buy is closing!

They're having a Going Out of Business sale

right now!

Quest Buy is closing? [gasps] Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yeah! All right! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

All right! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. All right!

[screams enthusiastically] Yeah! Oh!

[stammering] What are you so happy about?

This is the Going Out of Business sale!

That means Quest Buy is closing down forever.

It's, like, the happiest day of my life. I hate Quest Buy.

Yeah, but what happens, say, if something happens to your wallet?

If there's no Quest Buy, you can't get another one!

Wait, you mean my dab coat, bad lab, bad to the bone,

tri-tone, triple-locking thumb print activated

-surity security wallet impression blue? -Oh, yeah, baby.

Which I purchased on a previous trip to Quest Buy?

-Uh, yeah, baby! -Based on the rate of decay,

if I'm gonna live to be 100, I'm gonna need...

[whispering] one, two, three, four, five, six...

sixteen of these things!

We gotta go to Quest Buy.

Classic Diaz, doin' the math.

What?! Janna?!

[gasps] Janna!

So, are we doin' this thing or what?

Wait! W-w-wait a second!

H-how did you get here?

[chuckles] Wouldn't you like to know?

Yeah, I would like to know.

That's why I asked the question.

No one cares, Marco! The important thing is

Janna's here! Let's go, guys!

Fine. But we're gonna come back to this.

Huh?

[straining]

It's-- it's like there's something--

Come on, Diaz! Suck in that gut!

[straining]

[all shouting indistinctly]

Oh, my gosh. What is going on? This is crazy!

[Sloth over P.A.] Attention, customers.

Don't miss our Going Out of Business sale.

Uh, this is way more people than I'm comfortable with!

Wait. Head count. Where's Janna?

Janna! Where are you?

I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, and, uh, don't wait up!

[screaming]

-That's my Man Mower! -[chirping]

Ya porpoise!

OK, Marco, let's just grab

your 16 wallets and get outta here.

OK, right there!

Wallets!

[sighs] Bye-bye.

Oh, look! More wallets right over there!

-[all gasp] -Wha--?

[silence]

[all shouting indistinctly]

[groans] We're never getting these wallets.

[Janna] Do you ladies need help with anything?

-Janna, who's Stu? -Who's Janna?

Uh... what do I do?

You're fired.

Ugh, I'm doing him a favor.

Come on, let's go!

Whoa.

[Janna] "Keep out."

Something tells me

they don't want us to go in there.

Oh, wait. What's this?

"Employees only." Nope, we're good!

Behold.

Stock room! Or whatever.

[Star] Huh.

Where's all the stock?

[Janna] Don't ask me. I just work here.

[Marco] What's with this place?

I'm never gonna get my wallet!

Why do I live?

Uh, Marco. Look.

Wait, what?

[counting quickly]

[gasps] There are exactly 16 wallets here!

What?!

It's like this place can read our...

Read our what?

[gasping] Unicorn cake! Unicorn cake!

Do you see? Unicorn! Unicorn!

I have always wanted to do this.

-And I've always wanted to do this. -Aww.

Aah! [groaning]

Aw, don't pay that no mind. It's only raspberry!

You guys, this place has everything!

It's true!

Shopping spree!

Ermahgerd.

I've always wanted one of these.

Just a second.

Please, continue. [slurps]

[humming and singing] ♪ Going on a shopping spree ♪

- ♪ Everything's wonderful and-- ♪ [gasps] -[Hamster Band toy playing]

No. Way.

[Hamster Band song continues]

I love you! I love you.

[Hamster Band toy] ♪ Yeah! ♪

Ahh. Convenience.

-Aah! -[Janna] Sorry. My bad.

The crossbow's got a hair trigger.

Janna Fanna Fo-Fanna! Just look at these boots!

Hey, guys! Check out this amazing item of relaxation!

What does it do?

I don't even know!

I love this place so much!

Yeah, it's like everything we've ever wanted just appears.

You know, people keep saying, "Don't wander in creepy places,"

uh, but it's working out pretty fine for us.

[slurping]

Uh, guys? I think we're about to be busted.

That's my favorite part!

Oh, don't mind me. [slurps]

[gulps] I'm just waiting.

-What are you waiting for? -[echoing] What?

[echoing] I said, "What are you waiting for?"

Sorry. The acoustics are really bad in here.

I'll come to you. [slurps]

[slurping continues]

I'm waiting for your brains to go gooey. [slurps]

What?! Why would our brains go gooey?

Well, why didn't you tell 'em, Stu?

You know that everybody who wanders back here's brain

turns to goo.

Oh, yeah. Sometimes, Stu's brain goes gooey.

[laughs] Classic Stu.

Well, our brains feel fine, thank you very much.

Well, yeah. They're fine, for now.

You're in a magical room

that turns all your needless desires

into pointless realities.

Your 16 wallets,

your vibrant fashions,

your...uh...

Yeah, I don't know either, dude.

So, whatever we want just appears here.

[slurps] Pretty much.

Cool. [straining]

-Janna? -[motor running]

I'm baby Marco, and I got wheels for hands!

Whee!

Why?!

'Cause I can.

[straining]

I'm baby Marco, and I got wheels for hands! Whee!

-Janna. -Aw, come on. That was for you, too, girl.

See? Your brains just keep makin' stuff you want,

you're never gonna wanna leave,

then your brains turn to goo.

It happens to everybody that wanders back here.

[Hamster Band toy playing]

Whoa. How did we not see all those cages?

What kinda creepy stuff are you pullin' here, bub?

We're just keeping these people safe.

-They can leave whenever. -[controller beeps]

[whimpering]

Maybe just one more song.

[squeals]

[slurps] They just don't want to leave their stuff.

Well, I'll start getting your cages ready.

Oh, you hear that, guys? He's gettin' our cages ready.

Yeah. It's like he thinks this is the first time

we've been trapped in a back room.

Hey! My dude!

We're pros at these, uh, "situations."

I don't think we're gonna need the cages.

Yeah, we're just gonna head on out.

Sure. The exit's right over there.

But you're never gonna make it

without filling up these shelves

with needless desires.

[scoffs] OK, bub.

Feels like you're not really gettin' who we are.

We don't need stuff.

I mean, sure, a little dancing penguin baby would be tight.

[chirping]

Yeah, that's pretty tight.

But I don't really need it.

Yeah, and I've always wanted a talking bike named "Wheelie."

I'm right here, Marco!

But Wheelie's not really what's important.

What?

And I think we all want an evil Marco

with a mole on the other side of his face.

I am Ocram!

I think we want hundreds of Ocrams.

[all] I am Ocram!

[Janna] But we don't really care.

Look, I'm sure a lot of people

get caught up in whatever this is,

but we're not a lot of people.

We're three people.

We've got everything we want right here.

Come on, guys. Let's get out of here.

Whew! What a crazy place, am I right?

Yeah. You can make, like, whatever.

That was a pretty cool bike you made, Marco.

You named him "Wheelie" and everything.

But, hey, you told them,

"Who needs stuff when you've got friends?"

Yeah! It's not like stuff ever cares about ya.

[Star laughs] Yeah!

[both] Bye, Marco!

[bell rings]

[sighs] You know, I'm really gonna miss Quest Buy.

We have got so many memories here.

Yeah. It's a shame it's gonna be wiped from existence.

-[Janna] Never to be seen from again. -Wait.

I need to go get something!

I'm sorry, but Quest Buy is now closed.

But... but I need to save the babies!

Thank you, local customers, for shopping at Quest Buy.

Have a good... whatever.

What a weird, weird,

sometimes terrifying, magical place.