All language subtitles for NCIS, Sydney - S01E02 - Snakes In The Grass [2023-11-17]

[Birds chirp]

[Men chatter indistinctly]

[Man 1] Well,
you wanna go first?

You need all the help
you can get, mate.

[Man 2] You're such a tool.

Whoo!

[Man 1] Ooh-hoo-hoo!
Good cast, buddy.

You getting lessons?

[Reel spins]

- Ooh!
- Oh, you're kidding.

[Man 2] Whoo-hoo!
You snooze, you lose. [Laughs]

Oh-ho! Good luck
cooking that, you goose!

- [Laughs]
- Shut up.

Come on. Get out of it, Artie.

[Both grunt]

Oh! Ugh!

- [Gasps]
- Oh, shit!

[Theme music]

[Scoffs] God! Yikes.

I think they call that
'drinking the Kool-Aid'.

Oh, I'm pretty sure
they call it a cap.

Ooh, sucking up
to the new boss. Smart.

You get more with honey
than with vinegar, Evie.

You'll learn that
when you grow up.

Oh, thanks, Pop.

- [Chuckles]
- Morning, Cap'n. DeShawn.

- Hey, I brought coffees.
- So did we.

Great minds, huh?

Double jumbos, biggest they had.

I can see that. Save you
going back for seconds, yeah?

Or thirds.

[DeShawn] God, I love you guys.

Dropping coffee by the shot.

Thank you, man.

- Do you...
- Oh, I'm good.

- You?
- Same.

I'll be bouncing
off the walls otherwise.

Who wants boba?

[Phone buzzes]

Mackey, NCIS.

- [DeShawn] What is that?
- [Blue] Oh, it's tea.

Okay, send me the details.

- Hey, we're on.
- Okay.

Oh, hey, Doc. Um,
grab a double jumbo on the go.

- What's a double jumbo?
- Unclear at this point.

[Zipper buzzes]

- [Device trills]
- [Door opens]

[DeShawn] You got your cap?
I've got a spare in the trunk.

Yeah, I don't really do caps.

Like, ever?

Do you know who does caps?

People who have
given up on their hair.

Do I look like
I've given up on my hair?

No, hair game's strong.
[Chuckles]

What you got going on there?

Headquarters asked
if I wanted anything special,

so just on spec,
I asked for this new gait tech

I've been reading about.

You can identify people
just through their walk.

If I knew they were serious,
I would've asked who shot JFK.

What?

I'm joking, obviously.

I know it was you guys.

[JD] You sure?

The captain
has the conn, Sergeant.

- Aye-aye, ma'am.
- [Keys jangle]

[Clears throat]

[JD sighs]

Where to, Captain?

[Exhales sharply]

[Chuckles]

[Camera clicks]

[Mackey]
Staff Sergeant Lee Mitchell,

worked out of the US
Naval Supply Depot in Sydney.

Long way from home either way.

- [Mackey] Mm-hm.
- What have you got, Rosie?

I have got arthritis

and a coffee headache,
thanks for asking.

And how about him?

[Doc Roy] Uh, old mate,

he's got some vascular marbling,
bit of bloat -

not surprising
given he was in the drink.

- How long?
- Oh, no more than a day or two.

He's still got all his bits.

Mmm.

- You okay?
- Mm.

People can get
into trouble out here,

especially if they're not
familiar with the country.

But?

Well, they usually plan on
being out here.

He look like
the outdoors type to you?

No. So how'd he wind up dead
in the middle of the bush, then?

[Doc Roy] Oh, that's simple -
he was doing his tax,

he worked out how much he owed
and he had a heart attack.

[JD chuckles]

[Evie] Wow! That's some strut
you've got going on.

- Are you sure you never modeled?
- Can you not?

I'm trying to listen
to the bird calls.

Ooh, and the sashay!

Gone all RuPaul on me.

Can you walk normal,
for godsake?

This is my normal walk!

Really? You should probably
see someone about that.

- [Bird squawks]
- [Evie chuckles]

What?

I didn't say anything.

- I'm just glad I got it on film.
- Yeah, laugh it up.

At least in L.A. you can see
what's coming at you.

Here, everything can kill you

and I'm not even allowed
to carry a piece.

Oh, please!

Just fill out the paperwork,
do the retraining.

Six months later, you might get
the Minister's tick of approval.

- [Kookaburra laughs]
- Or not.

- Welcome to Australia.
- And in the meantime?

In the meantime, you got me.

- [Chuckles]
- I'm filled with confidence.

- [Camera clicks]
- [Indistinct chatter over radio]

[Rustling]

[DeShawn] There's a car
registered to Lee Mitchell

parked at the trail head, boss -
spotless.

No prints on the door handle
or steering wheel. Nada.

- Phone?
- Yeah, not that we could see.

- And none here either.
- [Sighs]

[Doc Roy] Liver probe
puts time of death

around 2am Saturday morning.

What's he doing taking a dip
at that time of night?

Well, he wasn't drowning. I can
tell you that much for nothing.

No water in his lungs.

This bloke was dead
before he got wet.

That's why he's
in such good nick.

If he didn't drown,
how'd he die, then?

And how'd he wind up
in the waterhole?

At first, I thought this
was the result of a fall,

but I couldn't find any
contusions or bones broken.

But then I found this.

Come here, Mackey.
Have a gander, hm?

[Mackey] What's that?
A snakebite?

[Doc Roy] Bites, plural -
likely cause of death.

And for what it's worth,

it's been my experience
with the dead that, uh...

..they don't fall
into waterholes.

They get pushed.

Got my first tox screen back.

[Cart clatters loudly]

- Sorry!
- Congrats. And?

Oxyuranus microlepidotus.

Hey, 'oxy' your own 'anus'.

It's an inland taipan.

It's amazing, right?

I gather that's a deadly
Australian snake.

Yeah, and then some.

It's like...it's like
the GOAT of deadly snakes.

A single drop of their toxin
can kill over a hundred adults.

So a deadly snake killed
Staff Sergeant Mitchell?

- Yeah.
- And that's amazing how exactly?

They're usually desert-dwellers,

so you wouldn't find one within
1,000 kilometers from here.

Apart from the one that
killed the staff sergeant?

Yep.

And I'm guessing it's illegal

to possess a snake
this venomous?

They're heavily regulated,
a bit like firearms.

Only I'm assuming
they don't have

serial numbers for easy tracing?

[Evie] Unfortunately not, but
I just googled 'inland taipan' -

outside of Taronga Zoo,
the only place registered

to hold them in Sydney
was broken into on Friday.

Have a guess what was stolen.

[Light cheerful music]

[Woman on video]
Welcome to Natureland,

where you don't just
get to talk to the animals,

but go for a walk with them too.

We have galahs, kookaburras...

- [Video continues indistinctly]
- [Evie whistles]

- Didn't muck around, did they?
- Why'd they leave some?

[Woman] Well, they obviously
knew what they were looking for.

Carpet pythons are
the Swatches of the snake world.

These bastards went straight for
the Rolexes -

red-bellied black snakes

and a pair
of lowland copperheads.

- [Evie] And in inland taipan.
- [Woman] Yeah, only one we had.

That's her there.

I hope she bites them.

[DeShawn] Uh, any other angle

where the van's
license plate is visible?

That's it, I'm afraid.

Well, it looks like they knew
what they were doing.

[DeShawn] Mm.

[Woman] Cleaned out most
of the pricey birds too -

yellow-tails, galahs,
kookaburras.

What are they worth all up?

To me, priceless.

But on the black market in Asia,

they'd fetch
north of half a mill.

Wait. Dollars?

Well, assuming they
make it there in one piece.

More than half won't,
unfortunately.

But they just factor that
into the price.

Man, that's messed up.

Well, that's what happens
when rich people

run out of things to brag about.

[Hisses]

[Officer]
It's a massive enterprise -

the US Navy's
biggest supply depot

in the Southern Hemisphere.

And what was Staff Sergeant
Mitchell's role here?

Logistics
and Embarkation Marine.

My compliance officer,
basically.

- [JD] Sounds like a big gig.
- Huge.

Track shipments in and out,

making sure we don't lose
too much stuff along the way.

And do you?

Volume business like this,

there's always
gonna be some bleed.

That's why we track it all
by weight.

What you got on board today,
Tommy?

- Buggered if I know, Chief.
- [Equipment buzzes]

3,600 kilos of something, hey?

[Officer] A ship
arrives at port,

driver weighs the load,

then transports it
to the supply depot

where it's weighed again

and if it weighs the same,
it is the same.

It takes human error out of it -

just how Mitchell liked it.

[Mackey] How was he
outside of work?

We didn't socialize much.

He preferred numbers to people.

So you'd describe him
as private, then?

Secretive maybe?

Was he involved in something
I should know about here?

Just trying to get
a picture of the man.

He have any enemies to speak of?

He was a good guy. He did
his job and he did it well.

More than I can say for some.

[Workers chatter and laugh]

You know what, Chief? We have
taken up enough of your time.

[Whistles sharply]

[Workers fall silent]

Which of you fellas can show us

to Lee Mitchell's office?

So the Chief reckons Mitchell
was a tricky dude.

Was? Is he going somewhere?

Would you like him to?

Oh, no way. Lee's my main man.

Great guy. Makes my job easy.

Yeah, which is what exactly?

I run the floor.

A load comes in,
I weigh it, stack it

and onto the next one.

Lee ever bust your balls
over any compliance stuff?

Nah, we work great together.
Never had an issue.

Besides...

[Chuckles]
..they're unbreakable.

I'll be sure to put that
in the report.

Okay, so here's my pitch -

Mitchell's got a thing
for exotic Australian animals

that go for big money
on the black market, right?

So he and his mates
knock off Natureland,

but it all goes pear-shaped

when he gets bitten
by the taipan he's stealing,

forcing his mates
to dump his body in the bush,

hoping it looks like
death by snakebite,

but they didn't realize that
the snake wasn't from the area.

How am I doing?

Well, it was just a pitch.

When I was 16, I worked a summer

at Redman's Granary
just outside of Muscatine.

Sounds like the start
of a country song.

Good people.

The only one I didn't click
with was the compliance officer.

- Know why?
- No.

'Cause if they're
any good at what they do,

no one likes
the compliance officer.

Neither of those guys
we just met

could speak more highly
of our staff sergeant.

- Right?
- Glowing references.

Which says to me that either
he was terrible at his job...

Or someone's telling porky pies.

Exactly.

Hm.

[Keyboard clacks]

[Computer blips]

[Doc Roy sighs and grumbles]

[Loudly] Doc, what time
did he die again?!

- What?
- Huh?

What?

- Who?
- Mr. Mitchell.

What was his time of death?

Oh, about 2am, thereabouts. Why?

Nothing. I just think I worked
out where he died. That's all.

- Oh, yeah? Good onya.
- No, I checked the sat nav.

And there were no trips
logged that night,

but GPS ghost-tracks
the car the whole time.

So I had a poke around
the cache and there it was -

the community hall
in Terrey Hills at 1:55am,

more than an hour
from where we found the body.

[Computer blips]

- You tell the team, yeah?
- No.

Was I supposed to?

This is a big deal.
Tell the team.

- Oh, okay... [Sighs]
- What are you doing?

Mackey's gonna go ape.
She already hates me.

I'm just texting to see
if it's okay to call her.

Oh, they're coppers!

[Clears throat] They're
police officers, all right?

[Dials] They're used
to taking unsolicited calls.

- Hm?
- Mm.

[Sighs]

Listen, um...

..Bluebird.

Mackey doesn't hate you.

- She terrifies you.
- Yes.

- She's a direct person.
- Yes.

You be direct.
You look her in the eye.

All right? Got that?

Yes.

She'll appreciate it,
promise you.

[Slaps back firmly]

[Birds chirp]

Oh, come on!

Hey.

No?

- Nup.
- What?!

According to Blue, this could
be a potential murder scene.

Yeah, two days ago.

But right now
it's a community hall.

[Groans]

[Evie laughs] God!

- Far out.
- Would you quit it?

This thing is unreal.

I mean, it doesn't matter how
scared you're walking, nothing.

- It still recognizes your gait.
- Look. A, I'm not scared.

And, B, that's 'cause you
already have me on your dataset.

But if you don't then you've got
nothing to match to. What then?

Well, then there's
always RuPaul.

Wait, wait, wait.
That kinda looks like tracks.

- It looks fresh, though.
- Yeah.

Somebody's been. Wait. Hold on.

[Door creaks]

[Eerie music]

- Guess we better check it out.
- After you.

- You know, it's your country.
- Fine.

Scissors, paper, rock.
You know the rules?

Well, assuming
it's the same thing

as rock, paper, scissors,
I know the rules.

I wouldn't brag about
being backwards, D.

- But whatever.
- All right.

[Laughs] Paper beats rock.

Let me know what
you find down there...

- [Chuckles] Oh-ho-ho!
- What the hell is that?

- It's a taser.
- A taser?

I thought you knew the rules.
Taser beats paper.

- Then what beats taser?
- Nothing.

So why not always do taser?

I do.

She's all yours, mate.

I'm gonna go pick that lock.

Hey! You really gonna make me
go under there unarmed?

- [Sighs] Of course not.
- That's what I'm talking about.

You gotta hook me up
with something.

You...

Really?

Goddamn taser.

[Snickers]

Oh, dammit.

[Grunts and mutters]

Oh, God...

[Mutters indistinctly]

What?

[Sneezes]

Ooh! Oh, come on.
No, no, no, no, no.

Please, please, please.
Don't die now. Don't...

Come on! Oh!

[Gasps]

[Hisses]

You gotta be kidding me.

You gotta be kidding me...
[Murmurs]

[Hisses]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, bro.

Yo, I'm not gonna hurt you.

- Just...
- [Hisses]

Okay, look. I'm one of
the good guys, okay?

Look, just chill, all right?

Evie! Evie!

EVIE!

[Gasps and pants]

I found the taipan
and Mitchell's phone.

Evie?

We need to find these guys.

[Weak squawk]

[Chirps]

[Squawks] Hello?

[Indistinct chatter]

[DeShawn]
As far as I'm concerned,

Mitchell got
what he had coming to him.

Karma's a bitch, bro.

Easy! Staff Sergeant Mitchell
was a United States Marine.

Yeah, with a side hustle in
exploiting native animals.

Zero sympathy from me.

Yeah, what is it, Doc?

Mate, are you anywhere near
the access door?

Uh, yeah, I'm right there.
What's up?

Well, I've just pulled
a dozen splinters of wood

from underneath
Mitchell's fingernails.

You check the inside
of the door, will you, please?

Oh, let me call you back, Doc.

[Evie] Looks like
Mitchell's buddies

just upgraded
from smugglers to murderers.

- Sonofabitch.
- [Mackey] Yeah.

They trapped him down there with
the world's most venomous snake.

If you want to get angry,
get angry at them.

Well, at least
we're getting closer.

We now know the where, when
and how it went down.

Just working on the why.

Anyone?

- Hello?
- [Bird squawks]

Okay.

What if Staff Sergeant Mitchell
was a door

who used his access to navy
logistics to traffic wildlife,

one of his buddies got greedy,
decided to cut him out?

Or he got cold feet, wanted out

and they needed
to make sure he didn't spill?

Either way, we need
to find his crew.

See if Blue can find out who
Mitchell's been chatting with.

[Evie] On it.

Let me guess - Mitchell's joint?

I'm driving.

[Starter clicks]

You haven't broken it
already, have you?

I'm just taking the piss.

Engine won't start without your
foot on the brake. Safety tip.

I got a safety tip
for you, Sergeant.

I don't do well
with backseat drivers.

Of course not, 'cause you
flew Hueys for a living.

- Yeah.
- Hey, you got this.

[Wipers squeak]

It is bad enough that you drive
on the wrong side of the road,

but you gotta put the wipers

where the turn signals
are meant to be?

- 'Indicators'.
- Now you're giving the piss.

- 'Taking' it.
- No.

In this instance, I believe
you're definitely giving it.

Let's go.

[Evie] Blue?

Boss lady wants it
turned inside-out

for any sign of
Mitchell's conspirators.

Okey-dokey.

[Bird chirps]

- [Bird chirps]
- Oh, my goodness!

- Hello!
- [Squawks] G'day.

Who's a pretty boy?

[Squawks] Who's a pretty boy?

I'm actually a girl,
and I'm not that pretty.

[Squawks] Who's a pretty boy?

[Chuckles] All right,
well, I'll take it.

- Hey?
- Uh, paging Blue?

Mitchell's phone, yeah?

Yep, so...

Yep, do you...

On it. Yep, got it! On it!

Um, hey, Doc?

What? What do you want?

Wasn't too sure
what to do with them.

I didn't want to leave them in
the trash 'cause, you know...

Because they're not trash.

They, uh, might be used
as evidence at some point.

I figured you'd have somewhere
to keep them till them.

Yeah, good onya, mate.

We'll, uh...

..we'll keep them
for as long as it takes.

Come on, Attenborough.
I've got an idea.

[DeShawn] This is your plan?

Where better to base
your animal export racket

than in one of the largest
logistics hubs in the country?

And if I'm right, whoever robbed
Natureland killed Mitchell

and we already have him on tape.

Yeah, except we don't know
who they are

thanks to the balaclavas.

That's where
the gait tech comes in.

You said it yourself -
we don't have a database.

So let's build one.

Okay, fellas, I need
everyone to form a line.

First gentleman up, let's go.

[Program trills]

- Next.
- Okay.

[Evie] Next.

Next.

Come on, matey.

That it, bro?

I'm good. You good?

Yeah, I will be
once you stop wasting my time.

[Program trills]

[Keyboard clacks]

256-bit encryption.

That's a little bit
over the top, isn't it?

Come on, come on. Okay.

Boss lady already thinks
you're not up to this.

Gotta impress Mackey, dumb-ass.

[Squawks] Mackey dumb-ass.

No! No, no, no, no, no.

Don't say that.
Don't say that, okay?

- No, no.
- Mackey dumb-ass.

[Blue] I'm the dumb-ass.

Mackey's my boss and she...
she's terrifying!

But she's very nice, okay?

Mackey...Mackey nice!
Mackey nice!

[Squawks] Mackey dumb-ass.

[Mackey] I like what Mitchell's
done to the place.

Ugh, I'm getting flashbacks

to every furnished apartment
I've ever lived in.

[JD] Right?

[Mackey] Who does this?

Labels for, what,

sheets, pillow slips, duvets?

'Doonas', in case
you need to buy one.

- Sounds made up.
- [Chuckles]

Still, I'm gonna
have to buy all this stuff

once the fleet pulls out and I
have to find some proper digs.

Where am I supposed to get
all this housey stuff?

A housey-stuff store, I guess.

Sounds challenging.

As far as
degree of difficulty goes,

I'd say it's a, you know, 7.5.

How long you say you've been
living out of a suitcase for?

Trying to remember
the last time I didn't.

Oh, right.
Well, make that a 9, then.

Long time to be away
from family, huh?

Okay.

[Edgy music]

[Mackey] Sarge?

Yeah.

Wow. Okay.

- You read table?
- No, afraid not.

What do you think this means?

I'm not sure,

but it was written
by a compliance officer

who was involved in
trafficking exotic animals,

one of which
ended up killing him.

- Hm.
- Be good to know, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

[Blue] Oh, my goodness.

It's beautiful.

Yeah, if you get off
on pure math.

I know, right?

How'd do you with
Mitchell's phone?

Uh...big-time encrypted.

But I did manage
to hack his playlist.

And?

And, um, turns out
that Mr. Mitchell

was into some pretty trippy
'90s German trance.

Uh, Niels Van Gogh,
Laut Sprecher, HiQ...

But the rest is scrambled eggy.

But you're working
on un-egging it, right?

Yep, totally un...un-egging,
fully un-egged.

[Sighs]

I won't let you down,
Agent Mackey.

[Squawks] Mackey dumb-ass.

- No, no, he...
- [Chuckles]

He's taken that
totally out of context.

- Just crack the phone, Blue.
- [Sighs]

[Program pings]

No!

I...I don't think we have to.

[Clicks] I'm the dumb-ass!

- I don't know how I missed this.
- Missed what?

Ever since I fired up
Mr. Mitchell's phone,

he's been receiving
incoming notifications and...

- I'm such a nuffy!
- Come again?

- [Blue] Every 30 seconds.
- [Program pings]

See, social media and newsfeeds,

they're randomized
based on what people post.

But this is regular.

This feels like
a geolocator of some sort.

[Program pings]

So someone was tracking
Mitchell's phone.

No, I think he was
tracking someone else's

and whoever it is, they just
left the Naval Supply Depot,

heading towards Mascot.

- Patch it through to my phone.
- Already have.

Mackey says, "Good job, Blue."

[Squawks] Mackey dumb-ass.

[Snickers and laughs]

Let's go. Solve that...and that.

Well done.

What are you doing to me, buddy?

I'm already an endangered
species around here, okay?

I don't need your help.

[Train rattles]

- Hey, big fella.
- [Car door shuts]

[Knock at door]

Hello, Tommy. Remember us?

Got some questions
about Lee Mitchell.

Huh, nah, I don't
really know the guy.

Hey, so how come his phone

had a GPS tracker
linked to yours, huh?

Nah, I don't know
anything about that.

No?

We found it in a crawl space
underneath the community hall...

..where he died.

Know nothing about that too?

Mitchell wasn't in on it.
He was onto it.

He put a tracker in your phone

and followed you
to your stash house.

Where you caught him
and killed him.

Yeah, I wanna
speak to my lawyer.

Yeah, no worries.

Hey, while we wait, um,

you should hear the message
he recorded while he was dying.

Hey, play him the part

where he was begging for them to
let him out of the crawl space.

Or maybe his dying words
to his mum?

[JD] Help us out here

and it won't all
come down on you, Tommy.

Walk away and all bets are off.

Look, Mitchell...

..was a nosy bastard.

But he didn't deserve that.

The snake was way too much
and I told him that.

Told who?
Whose idea was it, Tommy?

Come on, mate. Hey.

Tell us the truth.

Who else was with you?

[Dramatic music]

[Siren wails in distance]

[Program trills]

[Blips]

Ooh-hoo!

- It's a bit late now.
- Come on, partner!

Take the win!

Look, we have confirmation

Tommy was part
of the Natureland heist.

Except he's on Doc's autopsy
table with a hole in his head,

so not a lot of use in
finding out who the others are.

Uh-uh. Disagree. Look.

Whoever shot Tommy knew
your fancy gait tech

was gonna ping him
as one of the thieves.

They knew we'd bring Tommy in.

- So they got him first.
- So?

So that means someone else
from the depot was in on it.

[Claps] We just need
to find out who.

[Woman speaks German]

[Heavy trance music
plays on headphones]

[Mackey] Is this
really necessary?

Yeah, she's using Lee's music
to get into his vibe.

- Just let her do her thing.
- Oh, I am, believe me.

They're permanent markers.

Right. [Chuckles]

- [Trance music continues]
- Blue?

- Oh! Sorry. Hi. Um...
- Got anything?

No, not really. Um...

[Sighs] I'm thinking
these are dates

written in American format
with the month first.

- They could be shipping dates.
- That's a lot of shipments.

I mean, there's no way they're
exporting that many animals.

Maybe it's not just animals.

Maybe it's not just exports.

What if this is bigger
than we're imagining?

Chief Rennie said
they lost a lot of stuff.

What if they're skimming
on the imports too?

[Doc Roy] Here you go -
6.8mm round

fired from a military-style
assault rifle.

You didn't hear it.
Most likely, it was suppressed.

- 6.8mm? That one of yours?
- [Mackey] Maybe.

Marine Special Ops
have been trialing them

for the last few months.

And in any case, if this bullet

didn't get him first,

the heart attack
would've come a close second.

Old Tommy's arteries
were absolutely shot.

Clogged up like the Harbour
Tunnel on a long weekend.

Can you please
stop talking? Just...

How much did he weigh again?

135 kilograms.
Big lump of a lad.

He would've made
a great prop, you know?

- It's weights.
- [Doc Roy] Huh?

It's weights. It's...

134.1. 135.5. 135.7. 134.9.

You average out all these
numbers and what do you get?

You get a fail
in high school maths.

You get 135-kilo Tommy Latu
driving a truck.

It's simple. It's all...

Oh, gross, tare - it's all here.

It's plus or minus
either side of 135.

- Here.
- Oop! Ooh!

[Blue] Okay, the goods
come off the ship at the port

into the truck
where it's weighed and logged.

Instead of going to the depot,

Tommy makes a detour
via the community hall

where he offloads
135 kilos of Navy gear.

But now the truck is underweight
so when he gets to the depot,

he just sits in the truck
while it's being weighed,

bringing the total
back up to square.

It's the simplest scam of all.

They are stealing gear
based on Tommy's body weight.

We need to figure out who the
other two bottom-feeders are,

'cause if we solve Natureland,
we solve the lot.

Feel like asking
a man about a gun?

Well, that depends -
are you driving?

[Engine revs, tires squeal]

[Breathes heavily]

Might catch a bus next time.

[Car locks beep]

[Rennie] Back already,
Agency Mackey?

How can I miss you
if you never go away?

Last time, I promise.

What you're suggesting
just isn't possible.

Too many checks and balances.

You'd hope so given the type
of material they store here.

[JD] Like guns, for instance.

Got any of them in stock?

We're a trans-shipment hub

for the entire
US Asia-Pacific fleet.

Of course we have guns.

Oh, anything that fires
a 6.8mm round?

If it's US Marine issue,
we'd have it.

I think my colleague,
in his roundabout Aussie way,

is asking to see them, Chief.

[DeShawn] All right,
robber number one.

Bit slow on the uptake, D.

We've already
found him, remember?

I know, but it got me thinking,
what's the first thing

a thief does
before he robs somewhere?

Flunks school and has a string
of unfulfilling relationships?

Mn-mn. He cases the joint.

You think someone
saw him at Natureland?

Maybe, and if so,
maybe he can ID his buddies too.

See? Not just
a pretty face, huh?

Not even.

[Evie] Come on, princess.

So you had a little
run-in with a snake.

Pfft, little?

Top 10 most venomous animal
on the entire planet.

And you lived to tell the tale.
Good for you.

Yeah, I could've
been a statistic.

Oh, please!

What is it with you foreigners

and your obsession
about Australian wildlife?

I don't know a single person

who's ever been
bitten by a snake.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's all hype.
Never even seen one.

Okay, makes me feel
a little better, I guess.

Oh, there you go.

Now, your white-tail,
on the other hand...

- White-tail?
- Hm?

Common house spider,
all over Sydney.

They'll crawl into your washing,
your bed, clothing...

Especially your undies.

Huh! Please tell me
you're kidding.

Wish I was.

Ex-boyfriend got
bitten down there.

Downstairs?

Became necrotic.

Doctors had to...
[Makes guttural noise]

I mean, that was it as far as
our relationship was concerned.

Ask yourself why most
Aussie guys go commando.

[Woman on video]
Welcome to Natureland...

Oh, and now you're gonna tell me

I have to worry about
kangaroos too, right?

Look, I'm telling you,
I draw the line there.

You know, kangaroos are cute.
They got little babies.

No! You guys got birds
the size of dinosaurs.

[JD] How many assault rifles
you have in stock currently?

[Lock blips, gate opens]

- I'll have to check.
- [JD] Oh, we can wait.

And while you're at it,
let me know

how much one weighs
with a suppressor.

[Gate slams]

We currently have 50 rifles
on site according to this.

And each weighs 4.9kg
suppressed, give or take.

So 135 divided by 4.9?

27.5. Hm, 28.

What's 28?

That's how many guns
you're missing.

[Scoffs]

[Tense music]

I don't understand.

We're gonna need to see footage
from your most recent delivery.

[Clears throat]

Now show me
last Tuesday, 10:32am.

Any idea why the driver's

still in the truck
if you're weighing the load?

Be a sport, punch in
on the driver, would you?

That's, um...
I'll have to follow that up.

Or you could assume,
like we have,

that Tommy's been
ripping off the Navy

by skimming
his body weight in goods.

[Mackey] Whose job is it

to assess the weighing
of the trucks?

- Floor manager Frank Lupo.
- And who's his direct report?

- Let me check.
- [JD] Thanks.

[Dramatic music]

[Grunts]

Oh!

[JD] Where's Lupo?

And where are the 28
assault rifles he's stolen?

Okay, okay! Natureland.

The deal's going down.
It's happening as we speak.

[JD] Evie and D are
walking right into it.

[Tense music]

[DeShawn] Wait a minute. What?

Look like the van from
the CCTV footage of the robbery?

[DeShawn] Mm.

The tread's a match
to the tire tracks

at the community hall too.

Someone's packing up to leave.

What the hell?

- [Device trills]
- What...

- What the...
- [Phone buzzes]

- [Click]
- [Woman] Don't answer that.

[Man] Yeah, we'll take the lot.

[Man 2] And more
if you've got 'em.

[Woman] Go!

Found these two
snooping around outside.

What, just the two of them?

- I didn't see anyone else.
- Come here.

[Grunts]

Oh, hello, sunshine.

[Gun clatters]

What? No gun? Really?

And you call yourself
a cop, hey?

Don't even start.

Play it smart.

You're only making things worse.

[Grunts]

I never done smart.
Just ask my sixth-grade teacher.

Oh, you made it that far?
Go, you.

Ugh!

[Sighs]

[Siren wails]

We need urgent backup
at 36 Black Mountain Road...

[Tires screech, engine revs]

Car, not chopper, yeah?

[Tires screech]

We need to get out of here.

We can be on a plane before
anybody knows what happened.

And then what? They're NCIS.
They know who we are.

They may know who you are,
but they got no idea about us.

And how long do you reckon
that's gonna last for, genius?

Depends what happens next.

[Siren wails]

[Engine revs]

[Honks horn]

[Tires squeal]

- Left, left!
- [Horn blares]

[Hisses]

What do you think
they're saying?

I don't think they're
swapping falafel recipes.

It's gonna work,
it's gonna work.

Trust me, it will.
Do you want me to do it?

[Woman speaks indistinctly]

Bring the van around
the front. Go. Now.

You guys, go. I got this.

- Let's go. On your feet.
- [DeShawn] We're good here.

Come again?

Oh! Oh, you think I'm gonna
make it easy for you?

You know, head outside so you
can shoot us in the back?

You wanna shoot me, you look me
in the eyes while you do it.

[Chuckles] Tough guy, are ya?

No, not at all, but I've been
to war so I know what it takes.

See, I don't think you do.

Lee Mitchell would have a thing
or two to say about that.

Really? So you locked him
in a crawl space with a snake?

Couldn't look him
in the eye either, could you?

Nah, I had
no problem killing him.

I just hate snakes, is all.

[Woman] Frank?

What you waiting for?

- Load it up!
- It's gonna be tricky.

Hey, Frank. Us again.

Get back!

It's over, Frank!
We got the place surrounded!

Hands on your head!
Face down on the floor now!

[Rapid gunfire]

Hate to point out the obvious,

but it looks like you guys
are outgunned here, mate.

Come on. Give me the gun.
Give me the goddamn gun.

It doesn't seem fair, does it?

[Gasps]

[Hisses]

- Oh!
- Don't even think about it!

Put it down! Now!

Down!

[Gun clatters]

- [Exhales]
- [DeShawn] You good?

- Yeah.
- All right.

[Footsteps approach]

[JD] Still at it?

Yeah, I, uh...I need to call
Sergeant Mitchell's mom.

I'm just waiting
for the timezone

to kick in more favorably
on her end.

Never a good time
to be getting the news

you're about to give her, huh?

That's the gig.

Are you moving in?

Oh, no. Just, um, housey stuff.

Um, excuse the wrapping.

Come join us
when you're done, Macka.

Why don't we just stick
with 'Mackey'?

Oh, bugger.
No one told you, did they?

Told me what?

See, when Aussies like someone,

we become incapable
of using their real names.

- Why is that?
- I don't know.

It's part of our
natural charm, I guess.

Uh-huh.

[JD] Hm.

So, uh, what do I do
with 'JD', then?

You'll figure something out.

[Sighs]

[Bats screech]

[DeShawn] Check it out.
Sydney's turning it on.

Damn! This country
is something else.

Well, sounds like
we've got a fan there.

He's like a little
American Paddington Bear.

You know he's personally
making sure

every one of those
animals gets rehomed

at a sanctuary up north?

Now who's drinking
the Kool-Aid, huh?

- Oh, whatever!
- Yeah.

I'm still not wearing
a cap, though.

- [Scoffs] Yeah.
- Oh, do me a favor.

Find out if he's wearing undies.

You told him
the white-tail story.

- Didn't you?
- [Chuckles]

[Doc Roy] Okay, fella,
what do you reckon?

Scissors, paper, rock
for the next round? Up for it?

[DeShawn] Ooh-hoo! Come on.
I'll take some of that action.

- Come on. Here we go.
- Right.

Ha-ha! Taser beats scissors.

Yeah? Nah, mate.

The old double taser
beats everything, son.

- Double taser?
- The old double taser.

I think these Aussies
got your number, D.

There she is. Mackey on deck.

[Doc Roy] Here you go.

[Galah squawks] Mackey dumb-ass.

[All laugh]

[Laughs]

[Laughter continues]