Original subtitles

When you move with me.

It wasn't that they were up in time.

Time for another party.

Didn't we just have one?

Last winter?

That was ages ago.

It's spring.

Time for a new beginning, fresh start.

Time for you to play matchmaker.

We all have our paths.

I thought yours was being beautiful.

That's romantic.

Bill, I don't know if we could ever live up to the fun of our last party.

Is that a challenge?

An observation.

Do you doubt my ability?

Never.

So, have you thought of a theme?

You know how I like a good mystery.

Surprises behind every door.

You never know who did what.

I love it.

Excited?

Always.

Where are you going to just sit there?

I've already had a shower.

But you haven't had a bath.

A shower is just as good as a bath.

But you haven't had me.

Why didn't you say so?

Thanks for making me late.

It's your firm. You can be as late as you want.

I know.

That's why I'm thanking you.

What have you got there?

Just going over the list of invitations that I've sent out.

I thought we just talked about this.

But I knew that you would say yes.

You don't waste any time.

I want to make sure that our guests are SVP.

Who could possibly say no to one of our parties and the stuff of legend?

We'll see.

Who made it onto our guest list this time?

I think you're going to like this mix.

Troy from my office?

Handsome young stud, isn't he?

We had a lovely conversation at George's party.

Let me guess, he was trying to figure out how to impress me? You can't blame

boy for trying.

He's a bit brash. That's why I hired him.

Yeah.

But he could use a little seasoning, couldn't he?

Look, those are the terms my client is happy with.

Okay?

I'll translate it for you.

Those are the terms that we're happy with.

You can go back and forth all you want.

We're not budging.

Okay? That's fine by me.

I bill by the hour.

Janice, our new associate.

That last time I was at the office, I noticed her keeping to herself.

I think she needs to come out of her shell.

Yeah, I thought working with Troy would toughen her up.

Has it?

They get along great.

Janice!

Janice!

Janice, where's my callback sheet?

On your desk where it always is.

Am I getting a tone, Janice?

No, sir.

Okay, good. Listen, I cancel my lunch and move my tennis with Judge Fleming

to three.

And, uh...

Where's the pulse and merger papers? I need those.

Okay, good, good, good.

Did you get lunch yet today? I haven't gone to lunch in six weeks.

Okay, good. Well, you can get lunch today and pick me up a blackened chicken

Caesar, okay?

With no croutons.

I mean it.

No croutons, but you could add tomatoes.

Right.

Janet!

How about a drink?

Oh, I'm not thirsty.

I'm talking about me. I'll have half lemonade, half iced tea.

Yes? I just wanted to say that... Yes? Yes? Well, I got hired by this firm to

an associate, and I don't think that you're using me to the best of my

abilities.

Is that what you think?

Yes.

I'm sorry, Janice.

I'll talk to Harry today, and I'll make sure that we set you up with a nice

severance package.

Severance? Look, until you pass the bar, you're not a lawyer. I am. So I suggest

you watch and learn. Either that or you can go flip burgers.

Now, do we have an understanding?

Sure. Good.

You watch. You'll thank me later.

I'm sure I will.

How's that?

I said I'll be back with lunch in a flash.

Watch and learn. You'll thank me later.

What a creep.

About time.

Trust me, it is the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Who else have we sent out invitations to?

Oh, no, not Chandra.

She's my best friend.

She's a pain in the ass.

She'll have to play the game just like everybody else.

And if she doesn't?

Then she'll be asked to leave.

Chandra playing by the rules.

I give her ten minutes.

It's not that bad.

And besides, when it comes right down to our special brand of fun, she can

deliver the goods.

Oh, yes.

Oh, right there. Right there.

Oh, yeah. That's it.

Oh, that's it.

Oh, can

I help you?

Don't stop.

Miss Holloway, the maid let me in. They sent me over from the service center.

You're having troubles with your hard drive, are you?

My hard drive?

The computer.

Oh, yes, of course.

Please.

Chandra, we really need to go over the last chapter of Destiny's Delight.

I thought we sent that to the publishers.

They sent it back.

How dare they?

They made some notes.

I looked over them, and I got to agree with some of them.

I don't get rewritten.

It's in my contract.

Well, these are notes, not rewrites. They think Lord Charles should come back

for Destiny in the end.

Ridiculous. Well, if he does, it opens it up for a sequel.

You know, I can come back if you've got to work.

Nonsense.

It's just that it's my first day, and I don't want to screw things up. I kind of

need this job.

It's your first day.

Yeah. And I just want to say I'm a really big fan.

You read my book?

Yeah, one of them. I kind of like the cover.

Oh, just an eye for taste.

Which one?

I don't remember.

It had something to do with a pirate, but I'd like to read more.

Really? Yeah.

Alex, go get me lunch.

We need to go over these contracts.

I can't contract on an empty stomach.

You know, maybe I should go, too.

No, no, stay.

I'd like you to read the opening of my latest work. See what you think. Really?

Wow.

Let's go.

You know, I've kind of been working on a book of my own.

Is that right?

It's about this guy who fixes computers and he gets into all kinds of

adventures. Well, I always say, write what you know.

You know, maybe I should get back to work.

My boy, I am the work.

Is she hungry?

Always. Should I?

Never mind.

Welcome to the literary world.

Nothing like a new man in the morning.

Special delivery.

Oh.

Oh, Olivia, you little slut.

Alex, cancel my weekend.

I'll cancel mine, too.

Really?

This should be interesting.

Maybe we can get some work done.

At one of Harry and Olivia's parties?

I don't think so.

Dan, you invited her assistant, Alex?

He deserves a break.

Oh, I know that look. You gotta try and fix them up.

If two people belong together, they should be together.

Whatever you say.

And last, but not least...

Our new neighbors, Gwen and Danny.

They seem like a nice couple.

Look closer.

What, they're not a nice couple?

They're nice.

But there's trouble in paradise.

I've spent some time with her. There are walls going up between them.

They could definitely use one of our parties.

Hey, I need to take the car in for a tune -up this week. Can I get a ride?

Make a note, Penny.

Oh, yeah. And the landscaper is coming by tomorrow night.

I think we should both be here.

Note, please.

You remember when we used to talk?

Hmm? We used to talk. Find out what was going on with each other.

Is that right?

Never mind.

What's that?

Forget it. Act like I'm not here.

Oh, that's right. You're doing that already.

What's going on?

Finally, he looks up from his precious paper.

What's wrong?

Look at us.

What? Us. I mean, what's going on here?

What? We're having breakfast.

You don't get it, do you?

No, I'm afraid in this case I don't.

There's something wrong with us.

Here we go again.

And that attitude isn't helping any.

Come on, Gwen, we talked about this.

You were bored, so we moved.

You're telling me you're still not satisfied?

It doesn't matter where we live if we don't talk to each other.

Honey, we talk.

Just not every second of every day.

You know, it can't be like it was when we were first dating. I mean, come on.

we're settled down.

Exactly.

I mean, it's all still good, right?

Right.

Look, I'm sorry if I'm being insensitive to your needs.

Don't just regurgitate what you hear on talk radio.

Come on, I'm trying to make a connection here, okay?

Well, I just feel like we're drifting apart.

And I don't feel like we are.

So what do we do?

I don't know, you know?

Maybe, um... Go away somewhere. Take the weekend.

You always could make an entrance.

Darling, I love this place. It's like a cartoon come to life.

Chandra, sweet Chandra, never one to mince words.

I've missed you.

Work, work, work, blah, blah, blah. Well, this will give us a weekend to

up. Alex, you don't have to do that.

Oh, he doesn't mind.

But he's a get.

He still doesn't mind, do you, love?

Chandra, my angel.

Harry, my devil.

I've got your martini coming right up. Oh, Harry, when are you going to leave

Olivia and run off with me?

Say the word.

Alex, good to see you.

These are our neighbors, Gwen and Danny.

Chandra Holloway.

Chandra Holloway, the writer?

I bet a lot of your books.

Doesn't she write those trashy novels?

You remember my wife, Olivia?

Nice to see you again, Troy.

The pleasure's all mine, I assure you. This is Jenner.

Olivia, please.

Olivia.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Janet, is that you? Come on in.

So glad you could make it.

Thank you.

Janet, I am so glad that you came. I really want to get to know you.

You do?

Of course.

Welcome.

Thank you.

How long have you been working for the Janet?

Oh, I'm just here for the party.

That's nice.

Have you picked up on any tips on how to get on our good side?

Mr. Jenner prefers a farm handshake.

That's it?

He says he can tell a lot about a man by his handshake.

Ah, got it.

So what's your story?

Are you working your way through college?

You might say that.

So the last party you two gave ended up at Carnival in Rio.

What do you have in store for us this time?

So impatient.

So thirsty.

We have something very special planned for you all. But you must first know

this. Whatever happens in our house, stays here.

And anything can happen.

Excellent. Now we can start the game.

Game? A murder mystery entitled, Who Killed Foster Mayne?

Antoinette will show you two rooms.

There you will find new clothes and a bio for the characters you'll be

Darling, I live in a world of make -believe all week long. Must I endure

If you don't want to play along, you'll be asked to leave.

So strict.

We'll give you a moment to get acquainted with your new self and then

And remember, anything goes, Antoinette.

When she says anything...

What do you think she means?

It means anything.

Listen, I hear these parties can get pretty wild.

But it's your fast track to move up in the firm, so I suggest you play along.

Okay?

Olivia! Who does the decorating?

I love it.

I think it's you.

Boy and Alex are right in here.

Thank you.

And Sandra and Janet, right down there.

I have to share a room?

Madam's instructions.

I'm an old friend of Madam's. I think there must be some mistake.

I don't think so.

Listen, miss.

Antoinette? Lovely.

Listen, Antoinette. Is there a problem?

Yes, you have me sharing a room with, um... Janet? Yes, lovely to meet you,

dear.

It's all part of the game.

Oh, please.

Do you want to stay?

Of course.

This will be Gwyn's room, and right across the hall, Danny.

Oh, we're married. We can stay together.

Madam's instructions.

I don't know about this.

I thought you said you wanted to get out and try something new.

This is new.

I know, but I... Look, honey, if you want to leave, we'll leave, okay?

We'll stay.

All right.

It says here that I'm Foster's girlfriend, a former stripper.

Oh, my.

You know, that should be me.

I'm supposed to be a clumsy, awkward nurse.

I am... So gonna get even with Olivia for this.

Watch. I'll give Harry a round of loving he'll never forget.

He cheats on his wife?

Oh, please.

Those two will sleep with anything that moves.

Really?

Some people might call them swingers. They like to say they're enlightened to

wherever passion may take them.

I think they're just perpetually horny.

Oh, I suppose I can play awkward, but a nerd.

It's so cliche.

Besides, if the uniforms aren't form -fitting, I might as well be wearing a

potato sack.

Doesn't exactly show off what I got, you know?

Sure.

You have no idea how hard I've had to work to get my body to look like this.

Right.

Get this.

I'm supposed to play Foster Maine's bookkeeper, who happens to be a 28 -year

-old virgin.

This has got to be wrong. What do you got?

Playboy nephew who has an eye for ladies?

Let me see that. That's supposed to be mine. I mean, obviously.

Well, they're clearly marked.

So we switch.

And what's the big deal?

Well, they'll be breaking the rules.

Haven't you lived life dangerously?

I work for Chandra.

I get your point.

This is nuts.

I thought you need more, but I can't come back.

No, no, no, no.

Come on in.

Um, Alex.

Alex, Alex.

Hey, bro, be a peach and go get some bottled water for us, please, and maybe

some sliced lemon.

I'd really appreciate it.

Yeah, sure.

Peach.

So, Antoinette.

Yes?

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if I recall, did we have a little moment

downstairs?

Well, I was instructed by Mr. Jenner to make sure that all guests need a miss.

And when you say needs, that's what I thought.

Are you already talking again?

Let me ask you a question.

Is your first name Marie?

a little secret, okay?

Harry! The game has begun.

Hey, I'm having fun, man.

Aren't you supposed to be a nerdy bookkeeper who's a virgin?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, look. I'm all over that. See? What do you think?

I'll let what just happened slide.

I thought she was here for our needs, within the bounds of the game.

One more infraction, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

What happened there?

Dude, man, I don't think I'm going to make it through the weekend.

Well, good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm glad to see you could all find your way safely down to lunch.

I am Detective Danny Rollins.

I'm here to investigate the murder of Foster Maine.

Murder? I thought Foster Maine killed himself with a shotgun. It was suicide.

Well, I hardly call being struck on the back of the head with a blunt object

suicide. What?

That's right.

The suicide was staged to cover up the real cause of death.

Murder. A murder most foul.

Oh, please.

What's that, nurse?

Never mind.

That's horrible.

Are there any suspects?

Everyone at this table is a suspect.

That's right.

No one has an alibi for the time of death.

But who has a motive?

Hmm.

Does anyone have a motive?

Perhaps whoever was cut out of Foster's will?

Exactly.

Foster Maine's will is missing, which means that his estate goes into probate

and will be divided equally among the listed beneficiaries.

Now, you are all the listed beneficiary.

Then why would anybody want to kill him?

Well,

because Foster changed his will.

And I theorize he took someone out of that will.

See, Foster's will is scattered throughout his estate.

And whoever's missing from that will is the murderer.

By the time this weekend is over, I intend on finding that killer.

How can you be so sure?

Well, because look, it says so right here in my script.

What?

You look different.

How?

Hot.

Really? Yeah.

Well, then we'll just have to find that will.

Under your plates, you'll find assignments.

The color of the envelopes matches you with your partner for your first

challenge. When you find a page of the will, you earn points.

There'll be a bonus prize for the person or persons with most points.

Good luck.

Hey, this is kind of fun, huh, honey?

I don't think a man's murder is fun.

It's got a pretty twisted sense of humor.

And don't call me honey.

Huh.

So I see you don't have any assignment.

What do you make of that?

I suppose I got a break.

Well, maybe I could interview you.

You could try.

How do you know Foster, Maine?

Foster and I had a very special relationship.

Not many people understood that.

Hmm.

So, you were his mistress.

Jumped right to the facts, huh?

Well, I have to ask.

Well, I don't appreciate the implication.

Well, you're obviously an attractive woman. I mean, what man wouldn't want to

jump into bed with you?

You'd be surprised.

She's good.

She's pissed at me.

She's always pissed at me for something.

Ah, stay in character.

Right.

I better go investigate.

It says by the water you'll find a page.

Find it quick before it melts.

What's that supposed to mean?

How am I supposed to know?

Maybe it's in the pool.

So go in and get it.

I'm not going to get it. You go in and get it.

Game or no game, I am not turning my hair green.

Oh, my God.

Do you mind?

Like what you've got, I haven't seen before.

I got it.

Oh, damn.

It melted.

Why'd you take it out of the bag?

I didn't want to read it.

You could have read it through the bag.

Excuse me, but I don't see you offering any help here.

Troubles? Yeah, I want a new partner.

You lost her page.

You have an option to take a special challenge and get the page replaced.

Okay, fine. What's the challenge?

Let's see here.

This could be interesting.

Perform a sexy lap dance for your partner.

Oh, give me a break, Harry.

This shouldn't be a problem for you. Didn't you once research a part by

a week in Vegas working in a strip club? Okay, first of all...

It was a gentleman's club.

And secondly, I didn't dance. I just observed.

You want the page or not?

Fine. I don't have any music.

I can't do this.

Sorry.

Sorry. No page for you.

I did my part.

Oh.

What are you doing here by yourself?

Are you all right?

Well, I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this weekend.

Sweetheart, we'd never force you to do something that you're uncomfortable

This isn't me.

You look amazing.

I don't think so.

Sweetheart, you are lovely.

One of the great things about playing another character is that we get to act

out all of our desires.

I'm not an actress, though.

But I bet you have something inside you you're dying to get out.

I don't think so.

Suppose you could act out.

Do whatever your heart felt.

Have all of your desires met without any consequences for your actions.

I couldn't do that.

It's not within me.

Was it in you to wear an outfit like that?

Remember,

Whatever happens here, stays here.

Take advantage of that.

Harry, I'm having a great time. I love the house. Thanks. And I got this whole

virgin character thing down. I got it wired. You know,

I know you want me to be coy and go easy on the ladies. So don't worry. From

here on out, it's virgin city.

Thanks.

now or never.

Lucky oil.

How's that?

The oil. It's lucky to be all over your body.

I'm on a break.

Huh? A break.

You can play later.

Oh.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

I'm on a break.

Foster Mayne left to play in bed.

Find some fun of your own, and you'll find him a new page.

Hmm, I wonder what that means.

I guess it's what they call having fun.

What are you doing here?

Looks like you and I are on the same team.

What a pad!

Look at this bed!

Fireplace? Oh, man. What a weekend.

I guess this means we get to play.

What? Whoa.

I'm sorry.

What I mean... What's the matter? You can't keep up, lover boy?

Janet, are you for real?

I mean... No, miss.

I'm just...

A shy virgin.

A virgin?

Uh -huh. I've never had a virgin before.

No? Well,

there's a first time for everything.

You can say that again.

We're talking about...

Hey, we found a page.

Well, I mean, I found the page, so technically I should get the points.

You can have the points. I've got to turn it in.

What about us?

What us?

We're just having fun, right?

I mean, that's what this weekend's all about.

You know, I think Harry and his wife are getting off on the fact that people are

having sex under their roof.

They're a wild couple, huh?

Right, of course.

Hey there.

Hey there, yourself.

So, you're the nurse.

Gee, what clued you in on that?

Good one.

I'm sorry. I'm being awfully bitchy, aren't I?

Please, have a seat.

Hey, you know, I have to admit, I've taken a peek at some of your books. It's

really erotic stuff.

Shh.

You're going to get us kicked out.

Oh, right.

So, tell me, how long have you been working for Mr. Maine?

Oh, ever since I got out of nursing school.

And, uh, so why did you take this job instead of working at a hospital?

Well, there was just something about Mr. Maine that made me tingle all over, you

know?

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Surely, Detective...

You know what it's like for a young girl to feel a special attraction for a man.

Sometimes she'll do just about anything to be near him.

That's what Foster Maine was for me.

Special attraction.

Uh -huh. So, uh, you were lovers?

Oh, but so much more than that.

Gosh, it's getting awfully hot in here, don't you think?

Uh, um...

So, what can you tell me about the other members of his family?

Oh, who cares about them, Detective?

I only wonder what's going to happen to me.

How's that?

Who's going to take care of my needs?

Uh -huh, and just what are those needs?

Oh, Christ, do I have to spell it out for you?

Well, you know, I'm sure you won't have any problem finding someone to do that

for you.

I'll see you around.

Having fun?

Oh, loads.

Aren't you supposed to be shy and awkward?

I thought a rewrite was in order. Give my character a different spin.

Always the writer.

I've missed you.

I've missed you, too.

Ever since you got married. Don't start.

Well, it's true.

I'm lonely.

So the queen of romance novels who can have any man she wants is lonely?

What about all your research projects?

You ever wonder why all my heroines end up alone?

Because they're strong, independent women who don't need men in their lives.

Damn straight.

I write what I know.

But I have to admit, the attitude's starting to wear a little thin.

Look at you, with a genuine moment of sincerity.

Bitch.

I knew you had it in you.

I guess I'm just tired of all the head games.

And we picked the perfect weekend for you.

What about your assistant, Alex?

Alex?

He's really devoted to you.

I pay him for that devotion. Never considered him in any other light?

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm just saying.

You're trying to fix me up, like you try to fix up everyone who comes to your

parties. I just think that if two people belong together, then they should be

together. Yeah, I know.

Well, it's true.

I really have missed you.

Do you remember that trip that we took to Aruba?

I was doing a calendar shoot.

Uh -huh. And I was doing research. We got drunk on rum and cokes and crashed

that wedding party?

Those people have never seen dancing like that before in their lives.

I think I still have those pictures around here somewhere.

Burn them.

Excuse me, miss, but your husband desperately needs your attention.

Oh, I bet he does.

I better get back to my host's studio.

Don't let me keep you.

Antoinette, make sure that Chandra is taken well care of.

What was all that about?

Right this way.

Where are we going?

To be taken care of.

Olivia said you have a preference for deep tissue massage.

Exactly how did that come up in conversation?

Excuse me.

That's okay. I'm a licensed massage therapist.

Well, I'm sure you're much more than that, dear.

When in Rome.

For the full effect.

Well, I've never been one to shy away from the full effect.

Are you completely taken care of? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What a game.

Yeah, right.

I'm serious, man. I'm having a blast.

Got a page of the will.

What do you got?

Zip.

Well, it looks like I pulled ahead then.

Good for you.

Hey, what's the matter? You ain't getting any action?

No. Alex, Alex, I'm telling you right now.

The girls are looking for fun. That Antoinette, oh man, she's a real

firecracker. And that Janice.

Janice? Janice. That sweet little thing from the office.

I mean, she turned out to be a hellcat.

Really? I never knew she had it in her, man. She's good to go. You should go for

it.

I thought you were supposed to be playing a virgin.

Well, it never said anywhere how long I was supposed to remain a virgin.

Loophole.

I bet you Harry gives me extra points for that one, too.

Have fun.

Hungry? Always.

Hmm. What's that perfume you're wearing?

Is that Chandra's?

Supposed to drive him in wild.

Is it working?

Feeling frisky?

Mm -hmm.

I'll grant you one solo session with Antoinette.

Done.

We're quite a couple, aren't we?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ladies? Evening.

You two look good enough to eat.

Oh, bear me.

What? I'm sorry. Am I being a little brash for you?

Can't help myself.

When I'm in the presence of such beauty, I turn into an animal.

You know, hormones and all that stuff.

And what exactly do you do when you get into this state?

I release the animal inside.

For someone who's supposed to be a shy virgin,

You seem very sure of yourself.

Well, didn't you hear?

This afternoon, I got deep blue.

I'm all mad.

Is that right?

Yeah.

When I see something that I want, I just reach out and grab it.

I'd sort out the rest later.

That's what I always do.

Do you, nurse?

Oh, um... Gosh, I've never felt such wild abandon.

Well, that's a pity.

Such a weight of beauty.

What is it with him?

I think he's rewriting the script, too.

You look absolutely ravishing tonight. Thanks.

Ah, detective.

How's the case going so far?

Well, only two pages of the will have been turned in, and it's proved to be

inconclusive. Really? Who would have thought?

Hey, I've been looking for you all night.

I've been right here.

Not a very good detective, are you?

I'm still trying to figure out how you fit into this mystery.

Don't work so hard.

You might sprain something.

Good one. Keep it up.

You impress me as a smart woman.

Independent, strong -willed, knows just what she wants and goes after it.

Is there a law against that?

Why foster name?

I hit a string of mistresses.

Now, you don't impress me as the type of woman that would take a number and wait

in line.

Well, in that respect, you're right. I mean, I don't like it when the man I'm

with doesn't treat me as number one in his life.

Hmm.

I have a lot to offer a man.

If he's too blind to see that, then what can I do?

So, you were angry at Foster.

Frustration and anger are two different emotions.

I was frustrated.

Frustrated enough to kill?

Frustrated enough to leave the man I love because I don't know how to get

through to him.

Excuse me.

Gwen, please, you really seem to be getting into the game.

Yeah, I'm not sure the game ends.

Hey, Janice.

Have I told you how delicious you look tonight?

Now you're talking to me?

What? I'm not talking to you, babe.

How you doing?

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

Now that I'm sitting next to you.

Oh, right. You're a thing.

Come on. Give me a break, will you?

I'm sorry. Go on. You were saying?

Never mind.

Get it, Bob.

So, Detective, why don't you bring us up to date?

Well, so far, two pages of the will have been recovered, but...

They're inconclusive.

What's your next move?

More interviews.

More hunts for the missing will.

I think perhaps this might be the work of more than one person.

Two killers.

Here? Grateful.

Are we safe?

I'm on the case.

You have nothing to worry about.

Perhaps we should take our minds off of this horrible murder.

Let's talk of something more interesting.

Well, how about the law?

Spare me.

Let's talk about sex.

Yeah, let's talk about sex.

Sex, good.

Perhaps one of the pages from The Will could be produced in exchange for an

erotic tale.

An erotic tale?

No matter where we are, what we're doing, she always manages to steer the

conversation in this direction.

You see, my wife has a fetish for dirty stories.

It's not the only fetish you have.

I'm right here.

Any volunteers?

It's my night off.

Don't worry, honey. I wasn't expecting anything from you.

I'll tell a story.

Excellent.

Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived most of her life waiting for

her knight in shining armor to arrive.

One day, he arrived and swept her off her feet.

The princess was very happy, and they made love every day.

One day, the knight went off to war, and the princess yearned for his love.

But she remained true.

When he returned from the war, he had changed.

He no longer wanted to be with the princess. She was heartbroken.

That is, until a thief broke into her bedchamber.

to steal her precious jewels.

Just like that, the bold beef was gone, but the taste of his lips lingered with

the princess.

His touch was all she could think of.

She felt guilty for turning her desire away from her husband, but she couldn't

help herself.

She told no one of this, but she began a nightly vigil, waiting for her bandit

to return.

Several weeks passed, and the princess's desires grew stronger and stronger.

At last, The thief returned.

She left that very night with the thief, never to return to her kingdom.

Oh, there's nothing like being ravished, is there?

Well, I think you definitely earned your page.

Might I suggest some cocktails out on the veranda?

Ah, lovely.

Thank you.

Olivia,

another fabulous meal.

You're really getting into this, aren't you?

Yeah, it's kind of fun, isn't it?

I never had you pegged as the actor type.

Oh, there's a lot you don't know about me, Shonda.

Did you know I'm writing my own book?

Really? Mm -hmm. Yeah, I'm really excited about it, too.

Well, good for you.

You know, I could take a look at it for you, maybe give you a few pointers.

Well, it's not done yet. It's kind of slow going through the third act.

You don't have to tell me about writer's block.

This is nice.

We've never really talked about anything other than my work.

Yeah, it is nice.

You have to admit, you and I have a crazy relationship.

Well, you're the one who makes it crazy.

Excuse me.

Look like you're having much fun.

You talking to Nurse Chandra or just Chandra?

Relax.

Harry, I'm just... I'm not connecting to this game.

Remember when we played room keys?

Everybody put their room key in a bowl and you got to pick your partner for the

night? Those were the days.

No pretense, no games, just got right down to business.

You know, if you're looking for a partner, I'm sure you can find a few

volunteers.

Now, Harry, for somebody who wrote a mystery, you really are clueless.

What is that perfume you're wearing?

Midnight Passion.

Midnight Passion? Is that an invitation?

You're a real tease.

If there's one thing I'm not, that would be a tease.

Oh, yeah?

Uh -huh.

What do you say we go off somewhere where we could be alone?

For what?

You know.

No, I don't know.

Oh, come on. Troy said you were good for a go.

He said what?

Well, I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Troy, can I speak to you for a moment?

In private?

What's up, babe?

Don't babe me.

Did you tell Alex about it this afternoon?

What? Did you tell him?

I don't know. I might have said something about it.

Who else did you tell?

I don't know. I mean, it's a small house, you know? There's no secrets

How could you?

Look, it was just two guys talking.

I thought we had something special.

Janet. It was fun. Now, come on. We're not married or anything like that.

But I thought...

Interesting

story about the princess.

Thanks.

You got a hidden message you're trying to tell me?

Northern detectives. You figure it out.

Gwen, I don't want to lose you.

Then fight for me.

Show me passion. Show me lust.

Show me something.

That's not who I am.

It's who you were.

You switched up the team. Hey, I thought it was time to mix things up a bit. You

know, try some new comedy.

Now who's playing matchmaker?

Oh, I yield to the master.

When you think you've seen it all, keep looking.

A page is staring you right in the face.

I don't see any page anywhere. Do you?

Hey, what I said earlier, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just getting into

character.

I tried that.

It was nothing but trouble.

Really?

I thought you looked great.

That's me saying that, you know, really me.

Thanks.

Well, this is a party in what you thought it was, huh?

Not in the least bit.

I mean, it's kind of fun, though.

I suppose.

I mean, you know, when you think about it, I mean, we're playing people that we

really aren't, you know, at least for a little bit.

I mean, you know.

We go suave, me, okay?

We're just kind of fun, though.

This sure isn't me.

But I like the stares I get.

I must admit, I like the attention, too.

Even though it's got a little out of hand.

Look, um... No judgments.

What happens here stays here.

Thanks.

So... Let's look for that stupid page.

What do you say we look for that stupid page later and just get to know each

other, huh?

Janice, insecure law associate.

Alex, shy personal assistant.

How you doing?

Come on, that's not funny, Danny.

I told you I'm not in the mood.

What's that for?

Just a minute.

Hey.

Hey. I just wanted to check in on you, see how you're doing.

Um, now, weren't you just... What?

Okay, I thought that you... Now, you know that... I'm fine.

Really?

Hey, um, you think it would be breaking the rules if we spent the night

together?

Now?

Really?

Oh, come on, Gwen, don't shut me out, okay?

I just need to think about some things.

Please.

Okay, I'll give you that.

Right.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Never mind.

Well, if you want me, I'm, uh...

Right across the hall.

Thanks.

Rise and shine.

It's about time you got home.

So was I right?

About Janice?

Yeah. She's a really sweet girl.

We spent the whole night just talking.

I bet you did.

So did you get her to make that squeal?

Look, I really don't appreciate you talking about her like that, okay?

Fine, bro.

So, you spent the whole night talking?

Yeah.

Dude, you're supposed to be the playboy.

What's that supposed to mean?

Dude, take it from me.

Women like it when you're in control.

It doesn't matter about all that sweet and sensitive stuff.

They like it when you take charge, when you grab them by the arms, and you kiss

them.

That's how you get a chick, bro.

Yeah,

that's why

you spent the whole night alone, right?

Touche.

Hey. I've been looking for you.

I was looking for you, too.

Um, I just wanted to tell you I had a really good time last night, and I

to apologize for not making a move on you.

Excuse me?

Well, it's not that I didn't want to.

It's just that, um, I was kind of waiting for you to give me a signal.

And I guess I should have maybe taken charge of the situation. Am I making any

sense at all here?

Not really.

Great. But the strange thing is, I understand.

I'm glad we stayed up talking.

I feel like we have... A connection?

Exactly. Yeah, that's the way I felt.

Well,

we ought to see where it goes.

We should.

Good.

Detective, I understand you've made some conclusions?

Yes, of course.

Who killed Foster Maine?

Well, I was able to put together the various pieces of the world that you

gathered. We did?

Yes.

And let's review, shall we?

Nurse Chandra.

Yes?

You were with Foster Maine constantly.

You knew all his secrets.

So did I off the old codger?

No. Oh.

Because what no one knew was you were Foster Maine's illegitimate daughter.

So that makes me a bastard.

You said it, sweetie.

And you were devoted to your father.

Which brings us...

To playboy nephew Alex.

You ran through your trust fund.

And you needed your uncle's money to pay back your debts.

If you say so.

But what no one knew was you were having an affair with the girlfriend, Janice.

We were?

Your love could not be denied.

I can see that.

You were both together at the time of the murder in compromising positions.

I can't wait.

I mean, we were.

Which brings us to bookkeeper nerd Troy.

What's up?

Troy knew exactly where all the money was going, didn't you, Troy?

Okay.

But you had a secret that only Foster knew. Isn't that right, Troy?

Oh, no.

Troy really wants to be a woman.

So he had motivation.

Yes, but because of his decidedly feminine side, he couldn't really commit

murder. Ha ha, very funny.

Which brings us to the mysterious and beguiling Gwen.

It was Gwen who had the most to gain with Foster's death.

She would have inherited everything.

So why her?

Because what no one knew was she was married to Foster.

And in reality, they were never divorced.

That son of a bitch.

Foster spent his life building up a fortune.

And the first Mrs. Maine felt like she was abandoned, so she left.

But Foster never gave up on his love for her.

And although he never said it, she was his one true love.

And he couldn't imagine spending a day without her.

That's so sweet.

So did she do him in?

No.

Then who did?

The butler did it.

The butler.

Hey, I didn't write this thing.

Through our hearts.

Wait a second. I'm still caught up on this butler thing. Who's the butler?

Give it a rest, Troy. I don't think this weekend was about who killed Foster

Mayne. Exactly.

I have a question.

Why exactly did the two of you go through all this trouble?

The question isn't why we did this, but why more people don't. The hostess has

spoken.

Wait a minute.

Who was the butler?

Oh, come on.

I'd like to thank you for this weekend.

Yeah, it was a real eye -opener.

That's what we promised.

So you two hit it off then.

We're going to see.

Take it slow.

We're going to see.

Ciao. You too.

I never saw that one coming.

Maybe you're losing your touch.

I just wanted Chandra to find someone special.

Darling, my ears are burning because we were just talking about you.

Hope this weekend was inspiring for you. I think it just might make an

interesting novel.

I even have the title, Passion Lane.

What really goes on behind closed doors in a typical suburban neighborhood.

I trust you'll change the name to protect the innocent?

And the horny?

I always do.

So you had fun.

I really did.

And I'm going to start keeping my eye open.

For what?

My knight in shining armor.

Harry.

Olivia.

Awesome. Really awesome.

Thanks for letting me share in the magic.

We're really glad you came.

You know what I like about you, Troy? You're consistent, dedicated to your

goals, and you'll stop at nothing to get what you want.

I don't know what to say.

Say nothing. You're going to make a great lawyer.

Thanks. Sure. Would you be a dear and grab my bags for me?

Huh?

Please, sweetie. They're awfully heavy.

Okay, sure.

Is that right?

Can I take care?

Yeah, take care.

Careful!

Oh, don't worry. I'll be gentle with him.

Well, what happened to waiting for your knife?

Doesn't mean I can't have fun while I look.

Bye. Hey, man.

Amazing time.

The door is always open, neighbor. Thanks.

You two take care of yourselves.

Thank you.

What about those two?

I think they're going to be just fine.

She didn't seem too happy.

Trust me.

Well, then I guess we can chalk up another success.

Couples who weren't are now.

Good times were everywhere, and everyone had a good time.

They did.

I wonder how we can talk this weekend.

What a weekend!

You know, I had fun playing a cop.

Honey, how'd I do?

We need to talk.

Baby, I know we do.

Listen, things are going to be different between us, Gwen. I made that promise

to you.

You know, this weekend showed me how special you are and what you mean to me.

Oh.

So, what do you say we rest up and then head out to the beach for a romantic

dinner? Danny, I don't... What's the name of that place we went to before?

I cheated on you.

What? I'm sorry.

What are you talking about?

Last night, a man in a mask appeared in my room.

It was just like the story I told.

You know, I thought it was you playing a joke.

There was kissing, and one thing led to another.

But then it was over, and you were at the door. I'm sorry.

I just got carried away.

Maybe it was that Alex guy or Troy. I don't know.

I'm just so confused.

You know, I really wanted it to be you.

You to be the man in the mask.

My knight in shining armor.

Did Harry ever show you the secret passage you built into that house?

No. No?

Get you from one place to the other just like that.

It was you!

Hey, so, um, you liked the bit with the scars or was that too much?

Well, how about we try I Tie You Up, and you let me know how you like it.

Till daylight All night long It's alright

I get a feeling that I just can't explain When you move

with me I feel your rhythm pulsing through my veins

Your sweet melody I lose myself when I look

in your eyes Is it real or is it true that

I'm dreaming, I don't wanna wake up. No, baby, you're here with me. I

need a black sunshine.

Feel the love come.