Original subtitles

And then all of a sudden she just stopped responding to all my emails and

unfriended me.

Wow. I know how painful an unfriending can be.

Back in my day, we just got dumped.

Look, I know it probably sounds a little silly, but I don't think you realize

how much I really liked your daughter.

And I could have hooked up with so many girls behind her back and never did.

And then I find out that she's the queen of hookups.

Oh, my.

Can I get you a drink of water?

No, I'm fine, actually.

Okay, well, I'm going to grab a glass for myself if you don't mind. No, I...

she also had the audacity to tell me that part of the reason why she split up

with me is because I was too nice of a guy.

And I was a lame fuck.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound crass. Those are her words, not mine.

Tyler, what did I tell you the first time she brought you home? I know, I

What did I tell you? You told me to run as far and as fast as I could.

Exactly. I love my daughter, but she's a selfish little bitch.

And I knew you were headed for disaster.

Well, Kyle, you were right.

She's charming, attractive, but to her, a boy is like a yo -yo.

Fun for a while, until the novelty wears off.

Wait, what's a yo -yo?

Oh, that's what we had before running water and the internet and fire and...

Boy, you sure do know how to make a woman feel her age. No, no, I didn't

like that at all. I know you're an older woman, but I could really see where she

gets her beautiful look from.

Okay, you barely escaped with that one.

Look, you are smart, talented, and adorable.

You're going to meet somebody else.

And this is all going to be a memory.

You got lots of time. For me, on the other hand, I'm running out of time.

I've been on this dating site for six months, and the best that I could do was

find a guy who could not perform.

But he did own a flooring company.

What are you doing on a dating website, though?

You're like a legend amongst Christy's friends.

I mean, the guys, at least.

Well, this is new information for me.

Suddenly I feel much better about my situation.

But I'm still very sorry about yours.

Maybe we could, I don't know, help each other out in our own respective

situations?

Tyler, you're not suggesting... No, no, no, no, not at all. That's not what I

meant.

Well, good.

Because I wanted it to be my idea.

Yeah.

Can I? Yeah. Really?

Look at that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, look at that.

Sexy.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Fuck.

Oh,

my God. Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yes!

Oh, yeah, fuck!

Oh, fuck! Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Yes, right there!

Right there, baby! Right there!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

I don't have to do this.

my pussy lips. You ready for me? You ready for that? Oh,

fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Take off the shoes, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Come here, sweetie.

I'm going to say the last three, okay?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck. Oh,

yeah. Oh,

fuck. Oh, yeah.

No.

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh

yeah oh yeah

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yes. That is so...

Can you hold your legs?

Yeah, just like that.

I want you to fucking come with me. You want me to come with you?

Yes. Yes.

Am I good to come? Yes, yes.

Tyler,

you are not a lame thot.