Original subtitles

Well,

if you were going to take me on a road trip with Canada, where would you take me?

I would take you

from Vancouver

to Cologne to Alberta.

What would we see in the sights?

A shit ton of deer.

A shit ton of just nothing.

Because it's a lot.

And that's about it.

Can you tell me about the wildlife in Canada?

What's your, like, national animal?

Is it the moose?

Do you even know it's a beaver?

Is it a visitor? Yeah.

Maybe it's a moose. It's a moose or beaver.

Have you ever seen a beaver in the wild?

I think when I was like, young.

Yeah.

I never had any strange encounters with wildlife up there.

This is in Texas.

Like I grew up.

There's deer everywhere, So they're just not afraid of like you've been driving.

Like, Hey, what's going on? You got me. So, you know, just come up to you.

That's like moose, too.

I find Moose. Come up to the car, like,

put your shit up.

Huge.

Like, how many people die from Moose a year?

What, like hitting them in the car? Right.

Oh, I thought you meant, like, just from, like, charging you.

I have.

Did you have any high school friends who died from Moose?

You know, surprisingly, in Canada, you'd think that would happen.

Do you have, like, a lot of like, people dying

from slipping on the roads?

Like, oh, a weird question.

Sure. Yeah.

I mean, I guess I guess it doesn't snow here, so you don't really know.

Yeah, it is a snow, right? Yeah.

I mean, it's funny when it's funny when people slip in Canada.

It's. Well, it's funny when people slip away.

Yeah. Yeah.

But in Canada, it's just like you see, everyone falls.

Where? No.

Tell me about

this little feeling.

It's like one. Isn't this one?

I was in middle school and everything was ice on the outside,

and everyone walked out

and really struggling to get to their parents cars and shit.

That's what happens in Canada.

Did you just set up shop and just watch people?

Yeah. Okay.

Do you think I'll get the most.

Hello?

I'm like, I'll be on the outside watching you having fun.

I slip and fall stories. Oh.

Oh, I did it the other day, though.

It wasn't in Canada where a lot.

It was

P.F. Chang's.

Oh, I used to work there for four years.

I actually had a slip and fall.

Sorry, P.F. Chang's.

But you haven't told me I didn't.

Fell on a date.

You're on a date if you have changed me.

Slipped and fell. Yeah. Did he see you or were you, like. Yeah.

He saw me and my hand went on to the table.

Oh, so awkward.

Did he? He's probably still like, you

know, he wasn't actually after that date.

Did you put out?

No good

luck that day.

How did. Do you meet him on Tinder?

Did you meet him on someone else?

Was he as attractive as you thought?

Did he catfishing you?

Did you want to see him again?

He was nice.

So District.

He was nice.

But when he smiled, it was like a non friendly smile.

Oh, that's terrible.

But to his credit, he didn't take you on an actual date for your Thursday.

Yeah, He wanted to watch a movie at home.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

You can just jump into Netflix and chill.

It's going to be like an intermediate between.

So on your dating profile,

do you have your porno pictures?

Well, it's like he's in, like.

Yeah, I do.

So you

like people when they see you on there, they know your friends, them?

Oh, do you get.

I feel like you'd only get guys who want to fuck you live.

And maybe that's what you were.

No, no.

You know, when you're thinking about it, you are on Bumble down here.

Yeah.

So if I set my mobile radius to 50 feet, you might.

That is a chance, depending on which way you're on.

Bumble.

No, no, I was there a while.

I usually go, I'm on it for, like, a week,

and then I get off it because I have one or two terrible dates.

Yeah, I'll usually meet somebody.

It's cool, but

usually, you know, I've only gone on

you going on to date.

And other than the second part of the other,

he was weird to me.

I think. You

know, I really like we

been through that.

Drop it off.

Yeah, that's all this guy.

It's like we're all sharing the meal. Guys.

I'm really impressed with, you know, the baby carrots and the sex.

It's very, very nice.

Take all your needs are met.

He's giving you there even when almost you missed the rent there.

Dick shaped foods.

Smaller Wednesdays.

But she loved it

like weekly.

One day, one month

I twitters and makes official.

My Instagram is ever takes official.

Well, it was a pleasure talking to you.

I look forward to our road trip and I look forward to seeing you on Mondays.

Yes, you better my slave.

Right on, baby.

You take me on a proper date. Um.

Name? What's an American, Cole.

What is his name?

He's actually very handsome.

He just was a dick.

I fell.

So I don't like him to be really handsome.

If you went on a date with him.

I really had a good job

with his mother.

Something wrong?

Letter of recommendation? Yes.

So what makes you swipe

right on the.

I like the nerdy ones.

The nerdy guys? I do.

I like nerdy guys.

Like, not nerdy, but like, dorky because I'm like,

obviously I slip and fall for P.F.

Chang's, so I like 30 dorky guys.

Oh, I don't trust your idea of what's nerdy and dorky.

Give me an example.

You can see it in, like,

a guy's eyes because he's picture and he looks very just like, cocky.

Just like. Like I.

I know I look good in this photo.

Then I'm like,

you know, But then when you see the ones where these, like,

they don't know if they like, like, look good, you know, they're like,

I'm like, okay, I like that one.

I wonder what it is.

I guess they're just nicer.

You don't have to worry.

I like nice guys.

Yeah, See, I feel like women say that, but

then when it comes to who they hang out with, these are nice guys.

You can't say that.

But yeah, no, that's true. Yeah.

You want like,

I think the dream.

So the, the paradigm in all the,

the romance novels is like the bad boy,

but then all of a sudden they become good because of their magical vagina.

Like turns them. Yeah.

You get the guy who fights all these women, and all of a sudden he only wants

the one woman.

So not true.

I think they needed a lot of nice guys.

Yeah, actually, I think one of them, I don't know if I should say his name,

but he was like the nerdiest thing ever.

And like, he was the sweetest guy.

But then the last guy I dated was just a total dick,

you know, like.

Like appearances, all about appearances, you know?

And I didn't like that, but I like the nerdy one they're taking.

Really? Don't get me right?

Yeah. Or some type of girl to tell you.

Like what you couldn't. Yeah.

If you cut your hair, I'll break up with you.

That kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah.

So I like the nerdy ones, though, because they don't say that, so I do not.

This is trite.

Yeah. How could I appear more nerdy to you?

What if I showed you a collection of my words?

You have to show me.

You have to have a big stack of books.

I do.

I'll say I'll take you into the room.

Okay. Oh, okay.

Your collection. This isn't. I don't take comic books, though. I know.

I kind of like with.

No. Yeah, you don't have to go that far for me, but it's.

I don't know.

I have to see your bumble account

interest you.

I'll have to reactivate it to see if you think Siri.

So are you going to

step in

and. Oh, my God.

Oh, all these

really? Oh,

oh, oh, oh,

oh. Hey.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh,

oh, Oh, my God.

Oh, oh,

oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh.

I got to be honest with you.

Yeah, I have never came at the same time that a guy was coming on my face.

Yeah. Oh, was it amazing?

That was the first time that's ever happened in my life.

How like to make dreams come true Produces fun.

Yes. You put your hand by.

Okay. Hey, guys. I don't know.

Think I had so much fun on set with Mr.

Producer.

And as you could tell, covered in calm.

It was amazing.

And make sure you check it out on producer's fun dot com

driving home with no twitchy.

If you sit we can do this as far as you cleaning your.

Yeah like

do you have any tips for come out of your hair

wash it

Yeah it's no secret you don't need to do

like a detergent or some, like, heavy duty

fireman Hammer shit. No, you don't.

Have you ever use it to style your hair just to make.

Yeah, a little gel?

I like to do, like a little like wash?

Yes, Like, yeah, Something about Mary.

Oh, that's nice.

One of my favorite shows.

Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Why?

That's one of the come on her ear. Right. And then she takes it. Yeah.

Oh he has it on his ear. Yeah.

He Jack four so that he do you do that before you go on a date.

You masturbate before. No.

I want to be horny on my date.

So you're saying somebody went on a date with you?

There's a good chance that you'll sleep with them if they're cool and nice.

If they're cool, Right?

But, like, sex on the first date is a definite possibility.

Yes, but since your bumble account, if you have your porn stuff,

don't let only want to talk about doing porn the whole time.

It doesn't know, you know. Yes. Okay. So the first.

Okay. Okay. Let me tell you a story.

So there's one guy.

He I told him he's in porn and two days into knowing him, he's like,

if you're if you're going to be with me, you have to quit for me.

I know. For two days, rose petals.

In a word, yeah.

Like, get something to work publicly and then meet.

Yeah, they think it's okay.

Another example, I met a guy at a grocery store

which, like, I thought, okay, like, this guy is really amazing

and that which I don't meet a lot of guys.

I met so many women who think that meeting the guy at the grocery

store is like the ultimate it it was thought it was amazing.

But then I texted him and he's just like, I tell him what I do,

and then he's like, Come over and take

my big cock.

And I'm like, okay, cool. No,

I'm sorry, that sucks.

Yeah, but I mean,

yeah, See, I feel like if a guy tells you

that you have to quit porn, you better also be taking care of you pay your bills.

I'm sure.

Not even that. But, like, that's like quitting.

I lost my job.

I'm not going to quit something that I love for some guy, right?

Yeah. See, I have that same problem.

So I used to hate.

I didn't really hate it, but I.

I didn't post, like, for stuff on my bumble.

I'm not like, I'm not a performer.

But yeah, but what I figured out is it scares away

the people that

I don't want to date anyhow, and then it attracts the people who are okay with it.

So really, for me, but as a woman, it's different because you're going to get

a lot of guys get jealous of you either that they get jealous, whereas yeah.

Me Well, I'll also meet some who think or pretend they're going to be okay with it,

and then they just get jealous and then they get jealous.

Yeah, but at least there's a way that women

who know they definitely wouldn't be okay with it.

Yeah, See, just.

We're just.

We just need to go.

Hey, I'll find your bumble.

When I find your bumble, we will go on a date.

Who will slip and I will slip out. Right.

Well, let's go to Disneyland.

Oh, yeah. Aren't going to Disneyland.

Oh, it was fun talking to you.

I'm sorry that we ran a bit flirty.

That's how time flies when you're having fun.

Producers. Fun.

So good, so slow.

You. It lets you flew all the way down.

Actually, no.

You came out from Wisconsin, originally.

From Canada, right?

Yeah. Do you?

Can you tell us some Canadian were okay?

We would go in a boat.

Oh, I haven't been there in two years, so I'm trying to remember much.

And some words just. But

a lot of people not just call it good.

She I mean, you'll hear me probably say, Hey,

who do you sit there and say, okay, yeah, but you're to me

ain't going to pick

oh three.

So you're telling me,

Oh, I'll cook you good.

You don't you? Oh,

I feel so.

It's just like that.

Just like, oh my God, you're going to feel so sleek.

You just think

only are you making my own.

Oh, oh,

only you're so deep

and so the.

But Phoebe has gone through.

But no, I mean, you can't keep going

to be. Oh,

my gosh.

Sorry, Mr. Producer.

I'm not

going.

Oh, my God, You're going to make me come.

You. Oh,

I. Oh,

I have never came at the same time that a guy was

come on my face in a magazine.

That was the first time that's ever happened in my life.