Original subtitles

Huh. What's all this?

I'm trying to do the books for the store.

Oh.

I thought it was some kind of role-play thing.

You know, strict accountant, hot girl in debt.

That's what you're into?

Hey, I did Mrs. Claus for you.

Oh, this naughty reindeer remembers.

So, since when do you do the books?

Ruben won't let me hire an accountant.

You went to college. Help me.

Yeah, but I was a communications major.

We didn't do math. It was speech class and film appreciation.

Film appreciation?

Yeah. You watch films and...

you appreciate them.

Never mind, I'll figure it out.

Well, what about my mom? She did this for years.

Well, I don't want her to think I'm dumb.

You're adorable.

Well, you could ask your mom.

She does the books for the church.

Not a bad idea.

I know.

Now, uh, tell me I'm a naughty girl

who's late on her credit card payment.

-You got a sec? -What's up?

I was thinking maybe, to get the young people more invested,

I could start playing my guitar during the service.

You know who else played guitar while he preached?

Charles Manson.

Well, I doubt he played "This Little Light of Mine."

'Cause he was busy getting people murdered.

-Hey, Mom. -Hi, honey.

-Pastor Jeff. -Georgie, would you be more likely to come to church

if I played my guitar?

Hmm. Are you gonna play cool songs or God songs?

I think God songs are cool songs.

-Sounds fun. -Don't lie in church.

Sounds terrible.

Your loss.

It's gonna be groovy.

That man never should've gotten MTV.

So, what brings you by?

I could use your help with the store.

Of course. Unless it's more money.

-It ain't. -Then of course.

I need a hand with the books.

Oh.

Well, I would love to, but

that's a big job, and I really have my hands full here.

I understand. Yeah.

Mrs. McAllister used to do 'em, I guess I'll just ask...

-I'll do it. -Great.

I'm not leaving the fate of my house in the hands of that...

Lord, forgive me.

You didn't say nothing.

No, but I thought it...

and it was bad.

-Next. -Here to renew my license.

Stand behind the line and read the eye chart for me.

Yes, sir.

That would be an E.

Congratulations. Now, try the fifth line.

Fifth line, sure.

Whenever you're ready.

-Behind the line. -Ooh. Sorry.

-You wear glasses? -No. Always had perfect vision.

Uh-huh.

Fifth line.

Z. F. R. U. M. What's next?

You go to an eye doctor.

Hey. How was the DMV?

Great. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy.

They give you a temporary license?

Yes, they did.

Oh. How long till the new one shows up in the mail?

-They didn't say. -Oh.

Hey, did they make you take a new picture?

What, you writing a book?

Hey.

Where'd my calendar go?

I took it down.

My mom's religious. She don't need to be seeing bikini ladies.

Excuse me, but God made those bikini ladies.

Also, don't be throwing around the "God" word.

Geez, okay.

You can't say "geez," too close to Jesus.

Anything else?

You don't drink, you don't smoke,

and you don't believe in sex before marriage.

But that last one probably won't come up.

Hello.

-Hey, Mom. -Mrs. Cooper.

-Hey, Ruben, how you been? -Good.

Just saving myself for the right woman.

What?

Here's all the invoices, receipts,

and stuff that looked important, but I didn't know what it was.

Okay, well, better get started. Do you have a calculator?

In the desk. No, no, no, the other drawer.

That's Ruben's.

We should pray for him.

Ooh, hey, what's the score?

It's, uh...

-Cowboys up by three. -Exactly.

How much time's left?

You got eyes, use 'em.

McAllister residence.

Oh, hello, Mary.

No, he's not home yet.

Oh.

I didn't know you were doing that.

I'll give him the message. Bye now.

Hmm.

-Everything okay? -Why wouldn't it be?

Well, you said "hmm."

Did you know Georgie asked Mary to do the books for the shop?

That explains the "hmm."

Well...

you just...

you do so much for us already, he didn't want to bother you.

I'm not toast, Amanda.

I don't need buttering.

Honey, it's just the books.

Oh, that look don't work after the third beer.

Hey, y'all.

-Georgie, your mother called. -Oh.

Oh.

Why does she even want to do the books?

It's not about the books. It's about your mother.

You're the one who said I should ask her.

Yeah. That was wrong.

So now what? I'm supposed to fire my mom?

She can't expect me to do that just 'cause she's upset.

Oh, yes, she can.

Well, she'll just have to get over it.

-No, she won't. -Well, then I don't care.

-Yes, you do. -So much.

No one knows how that store operates better than I do.

Uh-huh.

I could do those books in my sleep.

Yep.

Are you even listening to me?

Yeah, of course.

What'd I just say?

"Are you even listening to me?"

Why do I bother?

Honey, are you really upset he didn't ask you

or are you just mad he went to Mary?

That has nothing to do with it.

Although, I bet she loves going through my work

trying to find a mistake.

Good luck, lady.

You know, it's possible she's not thinking about you at all.

What a hateful thing to say, Jim.

Hello.

Oh, Audrey. What a pleasant, um...

Hello.

I come in peace.

Have a seat.

I just want to say I think it's so great

you helping Georgie out.

But you'd do a better job.

Of course not.

I just have more free time than you.

I can make time.

But wouldn't you rather spend it with CeeCee?

I'm sorry, are you trying to bribe me

with my own granddaughter?

Our granddaughter. And yes. So what do you say?

Well, like you said, I am very busy,

but thank you for coming by.

Mary, it's an important job.

I just want to make sure it gets done right.

And I'm gonna do it wrong?

-Well, not on purpose. -I'm about to do

something on purpose.

Hey, Audrey.

I thought I heard your voice.

Pastor Jeff.

Do you need something?

No. I just heard you gals chatting

and thought of one of my favorite Bible verses,

"Where two or more are gathered, I am there."

One. Two.

Three.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

But remember, He's still here.

Oh, my God.

What?

You're going 18 miles an hour.

So?

So, you drive like an old man.

I drive like a safe man, which is how I became an old man.

-Stop sign. Stop sign. -Yeah, I see it.

I see it.

What the hell?

-You okay? -Yeah, you?

Yeah, I'm fine.

A UPS truck.

-That's a mail truck. -Same thing.

No, it's not. One's big and brown.

Same thing, Mandy.

Last cop I talked to recognized me from TV.

How does that help here?

Oh, it doesn't. I just like thinking about it.

-Were you the driver? -Yes, sir.

Gonna need your license and registration.

Sure.

Actually, you know, uh...

He hit me. I-I was stopped at the stop sign.

I know. I just need it for my report.

But I-I'm the victim here. I didn't do anything wrong.

Dad, just give him your license.

I don't want to.

-You just went to the DMV. -I did.

Then why is your license expired?

Beats me.

-Dad. -Okay, fine.

I had a little trouble with my eye exam.

You said it was easy-peasy, lemon squeezy.

Would you stop remembering things?

I-I can't believe you let me ride in the car with you.

Excuse me, I did tell you to leave the baby home

with your mother.

Georgie back yet?

Still on a tow. Anything I can do for you?

Just got the books all up to date, wanted to go over 'em.

Oh, how we doing?

Maybe we should wait till Georgie gets back.

-Is it bad? -I wouldn't say "bad."

Good?

I wouldn't say "good."

Oh, God.

I mean, jeepers.

Hey, get this, the guy

I just towed does all the ads on bus benches.

Says he'll give us a discount.

Hold your fire. We need to talk.

I know you're gonna say we can't afford it...

-You can't afford it. -Geez.

Georgie, language.

I have been going over the books,

and you are barely scraping by.

Well, that can't be right. Business has been booming.

I don't know what to tell you.

You either got to spend less or make more.

Great. I choose to make more.

-How we gonna do that? -Advertise.

There's got to be money for one bench.

There isn't. And I have marked a few other places

that you might want to cut back.

Okay. I'm just spitballing here:

How about we fire Georgie?

Come on, can't you get creative?

Move some numbers around?

You are not underwater yet.

You just need to tighten your belt.

Well, if you're sure there's nothing else we can do,

then I guess there's nothing else we can do.

Mrs. McAllister, I was wondering

if you could take a look at the books for me.

I'm sorry?

I thought your mother was doing your books.

Well, she was, but I realized I should've come to you first.

Why didn't you?

You know me. I'm young.

I make all kinds of bad decisions.

So you're saying your mother isn't up to the task,

and I would do a much better job?

Should I say that?

Yes.

Then consider it said.

Say it.

Look, my mom's just kind of set in her ways.

I need someone creative, someone a little more fun.

Well, I'm certainly more fun than that old Bible thumper.

Okay, okay, she's still my mom.

Although, I have literally seen her thump a Bible.

I suppose I can take a look.

And while you're at it, I'm hoping you can find me the money

to advertise on a bus bench.

-I'm sure I can. -Great.

But only after you say it.

See you later.

Hey. Where do you think you're going?

Hardware store.

-Oh, you're not driving. -I'm fine.

You don't have a license.

Yeah, well, you got more tickets than me.

Yeah, that's because I'm reckless, not blind.

Okay. You need to go to the eye doctor.

Mandy, look, there's already a blonde lady in this house

whose job it is to make me unhappy.

You want me to get her? I can get her.

-Mom! -Shh! Shh!

Okay, let me take you to get your eyes checked.

No, I don't need another doctor telling me I'm getting old.

Is that what this is about?

Every time I go, it's a new thing;

high cholesterol, enlarged prostate.

I'm a big guy, maybe I should have a big prostate.

Is that how prostates work? I honestly don't know.

You know, ever since I turned 50,

I've been getting mailers from the AARP.

Well, can't read 'em.

I'm not going to the eye doctor.

-Mom! -You suck.

All right, Jeff, let's see what you got.

Test, test.

"This Little Light Of Mine," take one.

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine... ♪ Everybody.

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine... ♪

-I can't hear you. -♪ Let it shine ♪

-♪ Let it shine, let it shine ♪ -♪ Let it shine, let it... ♪

What the heck?

Second verse, same as the first.

You want me to lose my house?

You saw the ad, huh?

I did.

See? And you came right in.

-What ad? -The one on the bus bench

that I told him he couldn't afford.

Are you kidding me?

It's fine. I found some money in the budget.

You can't just find money.

I was looking over our books,

and I realized, if we reported a loss this quarter,

we could lower our corporate tax burden to get a refund,

which I took an advance on to buy the ad.

You realized that?

I just said it, didn't I?

But who said it first?

I'm sorry,

is it so hard to believe that I can figure that out?

-Yes. -Absolutely.

I'm insulted.

This was Audrey's doing, wasn't it?

Yes, but I'm still insulted.

Remember me?

No.

Really?

I came in here a couple days ago to take my eye test.

That narrows it down.

I didn't do real good,

so I went and got these bad boys for driving.

Pretty sharp, huh?

You're a very handsome man.

Okay, what do you want? Fourth line? Sixth line?

Hey, I tell you what, I'll just start at the bottom,

work my way up. "Made in China."

Bottom right-hand corner. Bet no one's ever read that before.

See that clock over there?

2:35.

Oh, no. 2:36.

Congratulations. Just go get your picture taken over...

No, no, no, I'm not done. I'm not done.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

Hey, you see that guy standing there?

He's wearing an IZOD shirt.

It got that little alligator right there, clear as day. Yo!

Nice shirt.

You and me need to talk.

I didn't go to your son. He came to me.

I do not care who came to who.

Georgie is being careless with his money,

and you are helping him.

Oh, please. You're just mad I found something you didn't.

You didn't find anything.

You are just robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Well, that's how business works.

Oh, please, this is not about business.

This is about you trying to spite me.

It can be both.

Well, guess what, lady?

If I lose my house, I am moving in here.

Why don't you try having some faith in your son?

You are gonna talk to me about faith?

I have faith out the wazoo.

Charming.

But I also know that Georgie can be...

impulsive and overly confident,

and sometimes, that gets him into trouble, and...

...I don't know if I can take any more trouble.

I guess it's possible I wasn't thinking

about all you had to lose.

It seems Georgie did kind of play us against each other.

I suppose he did.

When he was little,

any time I said no, he went straight to his dad.

Amanda still has Jim wrapped around her finger.

Oh, you should've seen Missy and George.

Fathers can be so weak.

Well...

not every Father.

Ugh, give it a rest.

Hey, I'm... What-what-what is happening here?

Your mother just stopped by for a chat.

No one's yelling?

We are both adults.

We can have a civilized conversation.

-Is that booze in them cups? -Have a seat.

-Actually, I should go say hi to my daughter... -She said sit.

Yes, ma'am.

-That was good. -Thank you.

-May I? -Please.

You cannot go pitting us against each other

to get what you want.

-We are... -I would never...

-Don't you interrupt her. -Yes, ma'am.

I will no longer be the good cop to her bad cop.

I wouldn't say bad cop.

I would say responsible cop.

Don't be so sensitive.

So now I'm a sensitive cop?

I'm on your side.

Are you? Because it seems like

you're trying to make me the bad guy.

You don't need my help for that.

I'm confused. Are y'all still mad at me?

Yes.

How am I the bad guy

when you keep trying to take CeeCee's pacifier away?

Oh, fine, then you can pay for her braces.

Well, then you can pay for her therapy.

Therapy? Are you even Texan?

How dare you?