Original subtitles

G'day, Jeremy. Hey, Dad, how you doing?

Yeah, good to see you, mate. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, nice to see you. Oh, thanks, thanks.

How are you?

Really well.

Yeah, I mean, again, just really grateful for the financial support so

mean, you know, if there's any way that you might be able to provide a little

more help.

Yeah, look, the thing is, Jeremy, I know you're not my son, and I know it was a

scam.

No, I mean...

You met my mum at that conference in Christchurch. You were calling me son.

Yeah, it felt real nice.

Sorry, so when did you figure it out?

Well, it was pretty obvious straight away.

Sorry,

I'm just having a hard time with it. It's just never gone this way.

So does everyone know?

Yeah, everyone knows.

They don't mind?

Well, yeah, they do.

Okay, well then I might get going actually if that's alright.

Hey, Vinny.

Is this him?

Oh, yeah, this is Jeremy. Yeah. That was some fucking low -life shit, bro.

Oh, no. No, Vinny, don't worry about it. No, let me take care of this.

Why are you smiling like that, bro?

I should probably head off. Did you get the money? Did you get the money back,

James? No, it's fine. Oh, he sorted it out.

No.

Oi!

Oi! Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I want his money. I can't.

Strictly get you the money is the thing. I've actually already reinvested it

into a sort of a cryptocurrency opportunity that you might be interested

not interested in any of your bullshit jams. I don't believe anything you're

saying. Where's the money? The thing is, I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave

Jared alone.

He's a nice man. I feel like we sort of bonded weirdly.

He's also very vulnerable in a way that I find worrying and sort of don't want

to get involved with. Well, yeah, you pounced on that vulnerability.

I know. To begin with, it was good, and then it felt... Listen, listen. I don't

even want to be chit -chatting with a scammer. Sure, sure. My grandma got

scammed, and it's disgusting you do that to the elderly.

How did she get scammed? I'm not going to tell you how she got scammed. Sure,

yeah. Main thing is, leave Jarrah alone, okay?

Are you sure you're going to go with mow you down? It's a bit aggressive.

Is it? Yeah. Sounds like you're going to mow someone down with a car.

Can't change the logo. I've already spent the money. I've got no more money

left. Could I mow your lawn, Mr Needham? I don't actually have a lawn, Robert.

Right. There you go, Chad.

I was just about to suggest to Mr Needham that I could have my 50th

here later on today.

Oh, what a lovely idea.

Yeah. I don't think it's a good idea.

Well, I was hoping to have it in the school hall if I could. Well, the school

hall's going to cost you $1 ,700.

Well, normally we don't charge $1 ,700, Jared. I don't know where you got that

figure from. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

We don't. Maybe I could have it in the staff room.

Oh, that's a lovely idea.

You have a lot of birthdays in the staff room. The staff room's going to be $1

,000 for the day. Oh, Jared, don't be so miserable.

Okay.

My son's a goth DJ and he's always looking for a bit of extra work if you

music. No, we're not having a goth DJ at morning tea.

Thank you so much, Mr Leader. I'll leave that one for you.

I don't have a lawn.

Last thing on the agenda, we've got a canine drugs unit on the school grounds

today. That's here today?

Yeah. Is that a joke?

No. Students' parents have all signed consent forms.

It's invasive, isn't it? Well, you didn't care about it last year.

Didn't I? No.

What are the dogs sniffing for exactly, though? What type of drugs do you

reckon? Can you stop asking questions and making such a big deal out of it?

Me? Well, you keep asking questions and we're going to be trapped here. I'm just

asking a question. I'm not making a fuss about it.

Does everyone think I'm making a fuss?

Yeah.

Okay,

everybody, have a lovely day.

Okay, what's going on? I'm like 90 % sure I've got a little bag of pills in

shed. And I lost them. And I think they're still fucking in there

What kind of pills?

Oh, just like a couple of penguins.

Ecstasy. Oh, ecstasy.

Yes, energy.

Why would you keep pills in your shed? Because sometimes when I go on Tinder

dates after school, I'll chew a little bit of one just to get some energy up.

The problem is, though, is when you do take ecstasy, then you go home to sex.

Yeah. Pill dick.

What is that? It's so small.

Does it shrink it? This isn't an exaggeration. It's fat.

No, it's not. I'm serious.

So would you take a pill if you thought you had a chance of having sex that

night? Or would you be like... I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk

about it with the dog. Okay.

I'm just a bit stressed out because maybe do I need to like create some sort

distraction, like try and like confuse it, maybe like light a little fire in

sports shed. Don't light a fire in the sports shed. I just want to know what's

the route the dog takes.

Like where do they start?

What time do they get here? Can you text me when you see it arrive?

Pause your voice. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm a little bit stressed out. When was the

last time you saw the drug?

About three months ago. Okay, where were they? In the sports shed. Okay, where

about in the sports shed? I don't know.

Close your eyes and then tell me what you see in your mind.

One, two, three.

Jail. I think I'm going to jail.

How you going with those, man? Yeah, yeah. Anything?

Not yet.

Just, like, just do that.

I can see there's nothing in there.

So move on to something else.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't come in here, please.

We're just trying to put our hockey stuff back.

Oh, yeah, just leave it outside, okay? I'm doing a bit of a clean -out.

Are there rats in here? Oh, well, I don't know. Why would I have rats?

Why is all the gear outside?

Because I'm doing a clean out, Jasmine.

Have you seen the sniffer dogs?

No, not yet. Okay, well, if you see them, nip back in and just let us know

Because I love dogs and I want to pat it before it leaves.

Yeah, okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Is that too much?

Yeah.

All staff to the staff room for a special morning tea.

Repeat, all staff to the staff room, thank you.

Okay, just relax. You'll find love. Yeah, but what if I don't?

I'm fucked. How are you going, love?

Good. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you for coming. You're looking lovely.

Goodness, you've grown up.

Dad, you saw me last week.

Yeah, I know, but what I mean is, in general, you've grown up really fast.

you used to be my little girl.

Dad,

don't do this again. I'm okay.

I'm sorry.

Just pull yourself together.

Yep.

It's a big day.

Yeah.

Oh, I thought a lot about turning 50.

And it's so beautiful to see Maya here, who's left school already.

And I'm following her in footsteps, almost.

And this is my mum and dad. And this is actually my little brother, Brian. He's

made something of himself, like you always say, mum. You know, an apple

fall far from a tree.

And I fell quite a long way.

But I feel like I'm now working my way back towards a tree with my new lawn

mowing business.

Actually, I've got some flyers made.

The first mow's on me. Don't hand your flyers out. Thank you. Yeah, I'll grab

one as well.

Brian. Oh, I've got my guys.

Okay.

Everybody, well done, Robert.

It's been a tough few years for you at school, hasn't it? Yeah. Off you go into

the big, wide world.

Well, it's not really goodbye for me, because my son Leon's about to start

next year, and I'm looking forward to coming back and see Leon through school.

No, no, you're not coming back.

Robert. You really need to focus on your lawn mowing career now, Robert, okay?

Just drop your kid off at the gate like a normal parent. Okay, we'll see.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Robert.

Happy birthday to you.

Thanks, Cherie.

Bye.

Oh!

Oh, thank God.

These look good. Hey, Mr Thompson. Hey!

G'day, Jasmine.

The dogs are here.

Are they?

Yeah. Okay, great.

Thank you. Are you going to come pet them?

I don't think so.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

What are we going to do?

We should probably get this stuff back inside.

Yep, cool.

See, Chloe?

See?

Don't worry about the dog.

You're more scared of them.

We are more scared of them than they are of us.

No, that's not it.

If you show fear, then they attack?

No, no, no. They're trained sniffing dogs.

They're not going to attack.

They wouldn't be using trained sniffing dogs if they did attack, would they?

Zeke. Zeke.

Oh.

Could you just open your bag and pull out your lunchbox, please?

Yeah, sure.

Jazz. Could you open that up for me, thank you.

Ah, okay.

And where did you get this from? Is there a problem?

I think we've got another one here. Are you kidding?

That's my lunch.

Do you know where this came from, mate? My mum got it from the supermarket.

Whip it open. Let's have a look.

No, it's going to have to go back to the lab, mate. Just open it now and just

show us what he's got in there.

Sorry, Jared. I think there's a misunderstanding.

We're actually the fruit dog team.

Oh, right.

Is that why they've been finding all the fruit?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Are you trying to psych me out?

I'm just... You and I both know that you can't type as fast as I can, Georgina.

I'm just trying to send you an email, Cherie.

I'm actually finding you quite passive -aggressive, Georgina.

Sorry, Cherie, I didn't realise... Georgina,

could you please type that up? I can't read it. I need it in a larger font.

Using the wrong font, Georgina. Sorry, so you just... So this font isn't OK and

you just want it in a bigger font? I'll do it, Jared.

OK. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

Sorry.

Snap out of it, Georgina.

Gerard, I'm going to have to pull her down with an HR report for this. You

need to do a report. She's having a cry.

No, she needs to go and see Robin.

That's the protocol of someone crying at work, Gerard. Can we just skip it?

Well, I've already drafted the email, so it's too late. Yeah, well, just don't

send it.

It's too late.

But you just send it.

Yes.

Detective Mike Fleming, Cybercrime Task Force.

Jared. Jared Needham. I think I know what this is about.

Right. It's about my son, Jeremy.

Right, yeah, Jeremy.

He's not your son.

You know this man is doing what he's doing to you, to many other people.

Yeah. Right. You'll be pleased to know I think we can get you the money back.

I don't want it back. I gave it to him. Right, under false pretenses.

No, I gave him the money as a gift so he could get ahead and get his son some

quality childcare.

I did want to go and visit his son.

that he said no.

And why do you think that is?

Well... Because he doesn't exist?

Yes, it was a story. You knew it was a story and yet you still gave him the

money.

Yes.

So I'll leave my bag here then. Leave it there and we'll... Are you boys off

too? Jarrah's just helping us with our investigation.

Was he in trouble or something?

He's not in trouble, not yet. He's just helping us.

Not yet?

Is he under arrest?

He's not under arrest.

He's volunteered to help. Yeah, I'm willing to help. He doesn't know

He's like a child. He doesn't even function properly in the adult world.

What's your lawyer's name, Jared?

I don't have a lawyer.

I'm going to call my lawyer.

Hang on a minute.

Carol. Carol.

Carol, it's Cherie Pivack.

Yeah. He's a detective taking Jared into custody for questioning.

Where are you?

In the water.

I've always wanted to go there.

getting married oh that's lovely say hello to dave okay bye bye bye

bye bye oh there's a sign in and a sign

out sheet because i don't want you guys in here i don't care about your band or

whatever it is yeah hey oh sorry hey guys just want to let you

know um that thing sorted oh yeah you found your

Bag. Found it. Yeah, I lost my bag.

Yeah, found it. But you found the bag. And where did you put it?

Just popped it away.

Oh, where?

Oh, you put your bag inside.

Oh, you put your bag. Oh, you put your bag inside.

Well, that's interesting because I also wanted to tell you that those drug dogs,

yeah, were actually fruit dogs. Jared's mistake.

He booked the wrong dog.

biohazard kind of thing so what also didn't need to worry about your lost bag

okay i've got to go get some prune juice or something i've got to take care of

something yeah i've got to go yeah you know he lost his bag

what

i need to impress upon you is that you could be in quite a lot of trouble

consorting with a known cyber criminal

We're calling him the chameleon at the moment because of his ability to shape

-shift in digital form.

I thought the shadow was a better name, but I was voted out.

Shadow. Nice.

So he wanted to know whether you would be willing to help us.

All right.

Yeah? You saw him, met him, spoke to him? Yeah. In the flesh.

Tell me about that.

He's got a whimsical charm to him. He's got a curious smile, as if he's got a

secret going on. Yeah.

That's because he does have a secret, Jared.

He had dark hair, a lot like mine. I can imagine him at the age of five, running

into the room, face covered in food, going, Dad, Dad, look what I made at

And he's drawn me in crayon, him as well, standing under a tree, sun

in the corner. We'd whack it on the fridge, we'd make toast. What I'd like

to do is to help us identify him in a very real way. So if we pull back

projection and fantasy and we go into the region of your eyes yeah yeah

right okay why were you crying well i guess about the fact that i'm back

here you know working yeah part -time in the school not where i thought i'd be

no it is sad but it's just a part -time job we all have to work because i left

uni actually you've quit uni yeah i got a b plus

And? And that's the worst mark I've ever received in my life. I have never got

under an A -.

So you quit uni. And what did your parents say?

I haven't told them yet.

What do you think your parents will say?

I think they'll be furious.

Yeah, I think so. I think they're going to hit the roof. Yeah, I know. I can

feel it. It's like right here. My chest feels tight all the time.

You know what you need?

Gap year.

You've got through high school. Congratulations.

You need to let go.

Just go traveling.

You need to get a van.

Get a guy. Get a guy in the van.

You need to get one of those little gas burners and a little pot and a bottle of

tequila. Yeah, all right. So, like, you're saying I should just go on a road

trip? Yeah, go down the West Coast, Queenstown. You know, where do all the

people go? Wanaka.

So I guess what I would have to do is get a ferry from the North Island and go

down, I guess that would get into Nelson, and then we would go and get a

guess we'd pick it up from the terminal and we'd drive.

You've got to stop yourself from doing that. It doesn't matter. I mean, you

we. You don't even have a boyfriend yet.

Great rally.

Wish we had some news in here.

Bring it in.

Come on in.

Guys, how good was that class?

It was all right.

FPE tasks, either bad.

Really?

That's because of you guys.

Just everyone look around. This is a special group. Everyone look around.

look each other's eyes.

I'm sorry, I've been a prick.

I yelled at you last week, man. I'm sorry for that.

Are you all right, Mr Thompson?

Yeah, I'm great.

Yeah. All right, guys.

High fives, bring it in.

Everyone, high five on each other, not just me. Great class, guys. Great class.

Let's do it again tomorrow.

So here we have five suspects.

They're all known perpetrators of cybercrime. They match your description.

So just take a long look.

Can they see me?

No, no, it's a one -way mirror.

I feel like they can see me.

No, they...

So, one to five, take your time.

Yeah, all right.

Number two, I reckon.

You feel about that?

Yeah. Yep.

Let's do a step forward, please.

Oh, sorry.

Whoops. Not him. Number two was that guy.

Right, so you're not counting from the left? No, I'm counting from the right.

That's one, two, three, four, five. I just assumed you were counting in the

conventional way, left to right.

It's like a book.

Yeah. Yeah.

I can see how it's confusing for you, though.

For me?

But never mind. Yeah.

Okay, number two, step back.

Number four, step forward, please.

Is that the chameleon?

That's the chameleon. That's definite.

Okay. Well, everyone step away except for number four. Thank you.

So what's going to happen to him? Well, we'll keep him in custody and continue

our investigations.

So thank you very much.

Thank you. Okay.

Jared. Jared. Hey.

G'day, Jared. No, no, no.

Jared. We can't. We've just got to... but I'm going to tell them. Yeah. I just

wanted to say thank you so much for not, you know, dobbing me in. Oh, yeah, no

worries. Yeah. Could you see me through that mirror?

Just at the beginning. The light was on and we could just kind of totally see

you guys. Yeah. Yeah, also.

Yeah. Yeah. I see you've shaved off the moustache.

Oh, I didn't shave. That was a fake moustache. I just took it off. Really?

Yeah. Wow, it looks very real.

Thank you. That's the idea.

Yeah. Yeah.

Excellent. Okay.

How are you going, son? You good? You eating well?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, fine.

What are you working on now?

I'm fixing people's computers.

Right. But then you can, obviously once you've got access. You should come and

fix my computer.

No, Jared, I think we maybe need to part ways just for kind of my own protection

as well. You let me know what you need. Just to qualify, I can own all this.

What I'm enjoying is being a nearly dad.

And that doesn't necessarily have to involve you in an emotional way. Okay, I

wish you all the best.

Should we get lunch sometime?

No. No, this is the end of them. Now, okay? All right, you give us a call if

need anything, okay? You look after yourself, son. All right.

I'm not your son.

Couldn't find it. The bag. Where? What are you chilling, eh? Yeah, chilling.

Got a beer?

Sit down.

Having a good time, then.

How long does this kind of thing go on?

Eight hours?

Eight hours. Do we take it in shifts or something?

You should hear this song, man.

Yeah, we can't hear it.

Can you take them back home to you?

That's fine.

Yeah. I have to put Reynolds to bed at six.

Okay, well, I'll drive them back to my place.

Yes! Car party!

Oh, can I hang my head out the window?

Yeah. I just feel the wind in my hair.

Oh, just like a dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I'm going to drop him at your place. I'm going to get a dog. Okay.

Call it Benji.

Okay, I'm going to go and check that the coast is clear. Hey, Benji.

Benji. Okay, just got to keep it real quiet, all right? Yeah.

We going?

Yeah.

Let's go down.

We're dry.

Yeah, yeah.

Fuck, I love you. Yeah, I love you.

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