Original subtitles

So you'll all remember when I had a son for an afternoon.

Well, he wasn't your son, though. Yeah, well, I almost had a son for an

afternoon. Anyway, I experienced a lot of feelings and a lot of emotions, and

occurred to me that there's a lot of boys at the school who don't have dads

home. And so I want to start a program that I'm going to call Sons Without

and I want you two to come and be dads.

What do you mean? Go to their house?

No, we'll play some sports and do activities and talk about feelings and

it's like to be men.

Yeah, right. I just sort of feel like, because I already see these boys every

day, is that an optional thing? No, it's compulsory.

Oh.

It's going to be a very rewarding experience for you. Hey, Jared, what's

on with the new painting?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I did some self -hypnosis recently, and I've been painting some of the images.

And that's me putting my son, well, Jeremy, through a post -apocalyptic kind

a burning hellscape.

So that's... Up in the painting?

Yes. The spider is Robin.

Oh, with the fangs dripping with the blood.

Yeah, I like that. The big monster at the back is Judy.

With the massive mouth.

Yeah. And Rudy's in the tower next to her. Why is my hair on fire?

It just is.

Cool. And that one's Ra.

He's got breasts and he's pregnant.

Why do I have breasts? I don't know. It's my subconscious.

I just painted it. Sorry.

Which one am I, Gerard?

I don't think you're in it.

I will be.

Everybody else is in it. No. We've had a very long friendship for a very long

time, Jared. No, you're not there, Cherie. I just don't think that's very

Jared, I think maybe she's in the bottom of the castle, yeah?

No, she's not there. Yes, I am. Honestly, Cherie, I can't get myself

mean, it's a burning wreck of a hellscape.

Well, I just feel very left out of the hellscape, Jared.

OK, thanks, everyone.

Have a good day, everybody.

Morning. Morning, all.

What are you doing here?

Sorry? What are you doing back?

I work here.

No, you don't. You quit.

Yeah, well, I'm back. Yeah. Morning. How are we all?

How's the nest?

Good. You staying with your sister?

Um... That's none of your business.

We've broken up, OK?

Yeah. I don't need to tell you where I slept last night.

I was cosy, put it that way.

Okay, I'm bored.

Well,

I resigned and now I'm un -resigning.

You can't. I'm taking it back. I can't do that.

No, because I've posted an ad.

We can just take the ad down and say, just kidding, we're just joking.

I don't actually want to.

Come on, Jared.

Look, I was just performing when I resigned, okay?

I was playing the role of resigning teacher.

I don't think you were.

I was.

Looked pretty real.

Thank you. Because I wrote down she's quit and I've advertised for the job

online. Why don't we just not worry about it?

No, I think maybe you should just go away.

To class?

No, you're not teaching. You quit. And if you want to come back, you'll have to

apply for your old job.

Upload a couple of references.

Please, I don't want to.

Well, tough.

Oh, hello, Robert.

Hello, Cherie. How are you? Nice to meet him. What can I do for you, mate?

Well, I was looking through the school newsletter and I see you've got a thing

coming up, Sons Without Dads. Yeah.

I'd like to be on it if I can.

Oh, I think it would be a bit weird, Robert. Yeah, I don't think it would.

of kids used to love me here.

Max? Yeah.

Why are you late for today?

I had an appointment for my leg.

What about you, Marshall? Why are you here? I've helped my mum with something.

I'm going to call your mother this afternoon and have a word with her about

this.

That's why I was helping her. She's got a concussion. She just has to lie in a

dark room. It's an outright lie. I saw her at the supermarket yesterday.

It can't have been my mum. She's in bed with a concussion. Well, who did I see?

I don't know, but it wasn't my mum.

We'll just leave that, Cherie.

Hey, guys, do you think Robert would be a good mentor for you?

I don't think so. Why not?

Well, I had class with you and you were copying my test.

Marshall, what do you think?

Oh, no, I don't think so, Mr Needham. Remember you got all that toilet paper

and threw it on the ceiling of the boys' bathroom last year?

Robert, I just don't think it's going to work, mate.

OK.

What's your doctor's name, Robert?

Dr Razanate.

Dr Razanate. And we're about today.

You're on Johnson Street. OK.

Well, what if I organise an appointment for you to go and see Dr Arzonation? You

can start talking through all your shit with them.

OK.

Hiya.

Do you think?

Um, not really.

I just need a quick reference letter from you, please.

For?

For a job.

You're applying for another job? I am, yeah.

Which school?

This one.

You're reapplying for your old job here at the school?

Yeah, like I guess if you want to put it like that. Yeah. Sure.

So you're happy to write me a reference? It just needs to be a couple of

sentences. To whom it may concern, I've known Judy for 10 years and she's a

wonderful teacher, caring, kind.

Funny. What I can do is I can write the first part of that, okay, with a clear

conscience. To whom it may concern, I have known Judy for 10 years. Great. She

is a teacher.

That's probably the best you're going to get from me, okay? Could you just write

that you think that I'm the best person for the job?

I'm not going to lie.

You're not going to lie?

All you do is lie. No, I don't.

I'll give you $50.

Come on, I'll give you $50 and a massage voucher. It's 25 minutes.

Head. Have you ever had that?

Yes. Neck.

Shoulders.

No, I'm not. You're seriously not going to help me?

Oh, God.

Thanks a lot.

Don't slam my door.

Remember that? Yeah, didn't you get? Yes, I need them. What are you doing

Coming on the trip.

I said you couldn't come. You said I couldn't come as a dad.

I'm coming as a son.

Just because I said you couldn't come as a dad doesn't mean you can come as a

son. You know, I can because my dad's had a stroke and he's got dementia, so I

kind of lost my dad and I need a new one.

All right, get in, get in.

Thanks, Mr. Leader. Sit at the back. Thank you.

Now on the weekend I was watching this amazing documentary on gorillas.

They are beasts.

They take what they want.

They're not saying, oh please and thank you.

They're saying, mine.

All mine.

They just have it. They just take it and grab it with their foot. Like that.

What is this?

Do you ever see gorillas help with the dishes?

They don't vacuum the floors when they need a vacuum.

Hey, what the fuck is this?

Well, he's just talking about gorillas. Just give it a chance.

And we like to do that too, don't we, men?

We like to pump our chests up. We built this world, men.

Just like the gorillas built their forests.

Am I wrong, lad?

I want to get into our next exercise.

If I can get you all to close your eyes and visualize this.

You're at your favorite bar. You go to every weekend with the lad.

You see this.

beautiful, angelic figure, right in the middle of the dance floor.

She turns around, she gives you a smile. You say, can I buy you a drink?

And she says, no.

And that hurts.

But you know what? It's just one blow. You pick yourself back up. You pull out

your phone and you say, how about I get your digits?

And she just palms the phone away.

Would a gorilla allow his phone to be palmed away?

That's right. He wouldn't.

Don't try to.

Tame me. Keep me in your little box.

Gorillas aren't in a box.

All right, you may now open your eyes.

That's how you find your manhood again, guys.

Yes, you in the back.

I want to break out of my box.

Good on you. And you are going to, my friend. Once you embrace, you're in a

gorilla. Okay. And you're going to grow out your hair. You're going to grow out

your beard.

Yeah. Have you got deodorant at home?

Yes. You've got to throw that in the bin. Okay. You're going to embrace the

natural smells.

Of a man.

Yes.

Jared, what is going on? What is this?

It's a seminar.

What was the seminar called?

I can't remember the name of it.

It looked at a nice website.

It said men's empowerment across the top.

To be honest, I didn't really read the rest of it.

Do you think it's good for the...

boys to be hearing all this? Do you think it's bad?

My mum wouldn't want me hearing this. Let's go.

Where's Robert? Oh, God, he's got Robert.

Are you all right? Let's go.

You were speaking directly to me. Yeah.

The anger.

Yeah. The pain.

Yeah. I want to become a gorilla.

We can tell. We're going to head, mate. We're going to go. Okay, I'm going to

stay here with these guys and have a talk. No,

no, he's not. Look, I think you could do with the group as well. You think I

struggle out in the world, do you?

Mate, you're a bloke that can't get laid.

Don't make it into a seminar, okay?

There's no refund.

Come on, Robert.

But I want to be a good... No, you don't. I appreciate that you're trying

something here, but it's a bit weird. Have you been chatting with your father

recently at all?

I haven't talked to him in a while. You talked to your dad. I just think you

need a hug.

Fucking unbelievable.

I reckon just spending a little bit too much time online.

Okay.

I've got to go.

So what, are any of you signing up?

Nope. What do you mean?

Call me dad.

We don't need them, mate.

Stephanie, could you just talk us through some of your experiences as a

teacher? There was this one boy, when he came to the school, his mother had

said, you know, Sam suffers from quite severe anxiety.

And all through rehearsals, he would come on stage and just freeze.

Came to opening night, he wouldn't believe it, but he started saying the

and he said the whole... Whole thing, word for word. I looked out and I saw

mum and dad. The mum had tears in her eyes.

All the other kids, he came off stage and they all just gave him this huge

It's moments like that that I'm really grateful.

Yeah. Sorry.

Thank you, Stephanie.

You seem to have a lot of empathy and that's what we're about at the school.

We're about caring and educating.

So I'll just write yes. I'll just take that. I should actually just also tell

you I am applying for another job.

I have an interview this afternoon, so if you could just let me know as soon as

possible, that would be awesome. As soon as possible. Yes, we... Yes. Great.

Thank you so much. Thank you, Stephanie. Thank you. I think we should just give

Stephanie the job. I just didn't see... How many times do I have to say the term

due process?

Hi. Hi. How'd it go?

It felt good, but you never know with these things, so... Fingers crossed.

Yeah. Are you going in? Yeah. To be honest, I've just heard some really bad

things about this school.

Really? Yeah. Apparently the principal's just, like, really useless, you know,

like, doesn't know what he's doing.

Oh. OK, well, thanks. I've also heard there's a woodwork teacher here, and

just, like, apparently the worst, like, super selfish.

Really unreliable.

Oh, gosh. Thanks for letting me know. Look, it might not be true.

It'll be good to just keep your options open, you know.

Yeah, will do.

Best of luck anyway.

Thanks. See ya. See ya.

What are you

doing?

What's this?

What do you mean?

I don't know what your faith is.

I'm just in the zone.

We could just not.

Okay, we find ourselves in quite a unique situation here where you are

reapplying for a job that you left.

Well, here I am, back, ready to work. Why do you want the job?

Well... When you didn't want it on Tuesday.

Afternoon at two o 'clock.

Um, what's changed?

What I like to do in my life is rejuvenate.

Like any good drama student, I like to wear myself down to my weary bones and

then rise like a phoenix from the ashes. So rejuvenation is great in skin care,

Judy, but what we need at school is consistency.

We've got a couple of reference letters here, Judy, that you sent in, and one of

them is from a hair salon called Pizazz.

Oh, I know Pizazz.

Is it from Elaine or Danny?

Danny. I wouldn't trust anything that Danny had to say. What?

What's wrong with Danny? She's the best.

What has she said?

Probably should have checked that before I submitted it.

It mentions being damaged.

Oh, damaged hair.

That's about my hair, not about my personality.

It's not the way it's written here.

Regardless of that, we can't accept a reference letter from your hairdresser.

What have you learnt since Tuesday that would make us want to hire you?

That absence.

Truly does make the heart grow fonder.

Completely disagree in this case.

I mean, it's actually been peaceful in the three days. You've been much

Much nicer. Okay.

Wow. I feel attacked.

Good. Excuse me?

Good. You want me to feel this way?

Yes. Because this here is attacking you.

Hi, Georgina. Hi, Ms Needham.

I just heard from Stephanie, the other job applicant.

She tipped the other job.

Oh, shit.

You want to teach some drama this year?

No, thank you.

Please. I think I would probably need a degree to do that, so... No, we can

fudge it, honestly.

We can fudge anything.

Okay.

I'll fill out a form. I'll fill it out. I'll sign it. You don't have to worry

about anything.

I'll be in the office.

And I'll call Judy and tell her to come in tomorrow morning.

Thanks to Regina.

I know what this is.

Obviously planning a little welcome back, Judy.

Probably getting a cake or something. Honestly, don't bother.

Just don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. Yes, I'm back. But, yeah,

the cake.

You weren't doing a cake?

I can go to a bakery. Do you have any dietary requirements for the cake? Yes,

do, actually. Dairy -free. Thank you. What? You're dairy -free now?

You weren't dairy -free last week. Well, I'm dairy -free now.

Well, how can you become dairy -free in one week?

Because it's a new start, new me.

Oh my God.

That's my mug.

Two dolphins, sea world.

That's school property. Yeah, but you left.

I didn't leave.

Yeah, you resigned.

Okay, but now I'm back. That's my mug. I've just taken a bit of a liking to

mug. Tip it out.

What? Tip it out. I'm not fucking tipping out the tea.

My mug now.

What is this thing?

I think we're on Mars. Cut.

Pause. I'm sorry.

Where's the online bullying?

Well, it's about aliens.

There's no Wi -Fi.

We're on Mars.

You're on Mars. Yeah.

Okay, well then, where are the witches?

There's no witches.

It's nothing to do with that show.

All right.

Newsflash. We are now co -directors.

You two, Mariah and Destiny, you are now witches, okay? So I want to see you

coming on and bullying.

Patu, I want you to come on dressed as a very large cell phone, yeah? And you're

pacing up and down. You're in the city, the Prussia. Can I just be an alien?

Well, okay, fine.

You can be an alien and dressed as a very large cell phone.

No, I don't like that idea.

Good luck tonight.

You're going to need it.

Welcome, enjoy the show. Just head on through.

Wow, it's getting real now.

Do you have any tips for being nervous?

Just picture everybody naked, I suppose.

Not me.

Hey,

you came.

Look at this.

Be careful, it's a little bit scary.

Are you excited?

Your big show?

This might actually be good, right?

What's that supposed to mean?

The production might actually be good this year, Judy.

It's good every year.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, it's good.

What's that?

It's my dry white wine.

It's got a tap on it.

Yes, and a cask.

Classy. Please don't put me in a bad mood before the show, okay?

Give me my glass.

Here. Okay.

Well, enjoy.

Thank you. Thanks, Rudy. Can't wait. Cheers, bro.

Oh, wow. Welcome.

Thank you.

Amazing. Yeah, it looks great.

Oh, we're not together?

No, we just got here at the same time. Yeah, we met in the car park.

Who cares?

Okay.

Enjoy the show. Would it be okay for me to go through as well?

Have you bought a ticket?

Um... When are you going to get it together? Go on.

Get in there. Hurry up.

Enjoy the show. Thank you.

Oh,

this is wonderful.

I feel like I've been to the moon and back.

Congratulations. I'm so excited to see the rest of it.

I'm proud of you. Yeah, well done. Yeah, well done.

Oops.

Oh.

Do you want a shot? Yeah.

Oh, I probably shouldn't have tried to kiss Gerard.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Oh,

here we go.

Planet Earth, our home, the water planet, slowly spinning

through the infinite space of space.

It seems inconceivable that we are alone in the universe.

You guys hear about those alien sightings on the news? Man, that's fake

Yeah, I mean, aliens couldn't even get here anyway.

Aliens aren't real. What's that?

What's going on? What's going on? Help me!

Don't take me away. I want to stay on Earth. Please, don't take me to space.

Where are they going?

Nobody knows.

What is this place?

Where are we? I think we're on Mars.

Mars is dumb.

Mars is dumb.

Too far from the sun.

An alien.

There's more.

There's too many.

Even on Mars, there's a toxic social media online community.

I love to be a toxic bully.

You dink!

You're fat!

There's not enough time in the day to throw your troubles away. You've

us. It's insane as.

We are earthlings.

It's not working.

It's so dusty everywhere.

Too much smoke in the atmosphere.

With stars in our eyes, we'll shine through the pain. Abducted by aliens,

never be tamed.

Oh, that was actually really good.

Uh, we got nothing.

Yay!

After winning the rap battle, the three kids are dropped off back home.

Aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens!

I've loved seeing each and every one of you discover your inner alien.

Thanks for taking us all on this incredible journey. And a big round of

for Mrs Mokopofare.

Yay! Welcome me to the stage.

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

No flowers for me.

I'll take one of those.

Thank you so much. I don't want to toot my own horn, but toodaloo.

Thank you. Hooah!

We did it.

Let's give it up one more time for the performers.

We've got a canine drugs unit on the school grounds today.

They're here today?

I'm like 90 % sure.

I've got a little bag of pills in my shed.

Just, like, just do that.

I can see there's nothing in there. Thing is, Jeremy, I know you're not my

Is this him? Are you looking for Jeremy?

Hey! Hey!

Detective. Mike Fleming. You'll be pleased to know I think we can get you

money back.

I don't want it back. I gave it to him. Is he under arrest?

He's not under arrest. Not yet. Not yet.

We have eyes perpetrated with cybercrime.

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