Original subtitles

Polly popped out.

That's it.

Got some people ready to cross.

And then safe to cross.

Sorry, who's this?

Oh, that's just Miss Duffy.

Oh, God.

Okay. Good morning, Miss Duffy.

How are we this morning? Good, thank you. I just noticed you putting a teddy

bear in the back there. That wasn't anything to do with dodging the T2 lane

cameras? Oh, just my daughter's teddy bear. She had a slumber party. I picked

her up and... I just noticed it was strapped in.

Would I be able to see your licence, please?

It's here somewhere.

I also can't help but notice that you are currently parked in a disabled car

park. Is mobility an issue for you? No, it's not.

It was.

but it's not now. I'm often running a little bit late. It's more like it's

reserved for me.

Interesting. Ms Duffy, were you able to see the lollipops and obviously the

safety exercise we were running with the children?

I noticed you actually drove onto the grassy mound and off, which I would

consider reckless driving.

So how old are you?

I turned 30 last month. Okay, well, you look like you're a kid going out for

trick -or -treat, okay? So I am getting increasingly anxious about my mentally

ill students waiting for me.

Well, I'm just going to put this through the system.

Please stay in your car.

Miss Duffy, sorry that took a little bit longer than expected.

With today's laundry list of things that have gone on, puts you to a total of

135 demerit points today. Happy with that. Which means I have to revoke your

license.

No, no, no, sorry.

Okay, well that's not going to work.

Because I need my car.

We actually have really good public transport here. There's actually a bus.

not going to be using public transport.

Because I use my car probably more than most people because I use it to relax

and I use it to drive and, you know, it's not just an A to B. It's like a

haven for me.

Woman to woman, why don't we just drop this?

Let's take a deep breath, yeah?

And let's start again.

Hi, I'm Ms Duffy.

Lovely to meet you, officer.

I think we can just call it a day. Stephanie Walsh, you still have 135

points and your license is still revoked.

So Stephanie, what I want to suggest is $100.

Is that a bribe?

Yeah. Bribing a police officer is actually another offense, so I would

that we move on from this conversation.

Now, I'm happy for you to go inside your place of work. I don't want you to be

late for your mentally unwell student that you mentioned earlier. I just made

that up. I just made that up.

Okay.

So, did you nearly hit a kid? No, of course I didn't nearly hit a kid. Also,

was she making a big fuss?

Because the lollipops were out.

So, I just wave. What, like, say stop?

Yeah. And you... And I wave and I just do the chicane around it.

Yeah, we can't do that.

Were the kids crossing it? Yeah, but it's my zebra crossing. It's not yours.

She said I can't drive. I've lost my license.

I mean, how am I going to get home?

Oh, no.

Sorry, can you not smile when you say, oh, no?

Sorry, sorry.

Don't worry about it. People lose their licenses all the time. No, they don't.

Okay, not people like me who just need their cars more than other people, okay?

Okay, what's going on?

Okay.

My sister's coming to visit.

Because Mum's organised some big lunch where we're going to scatter Dad's

What? I thought he died ages ago. Yeah, he did like six years ago, but Mum lost

the ashes.

How did he lose the ashes? I don't know, Vinnie. The point is, my sister's

coming and I just wanted to drive her around like a normal person so she

think I'm a loser.

You can't drive through the zebra crossing. Don't tell me what I can and

do.

It's everybody's favourite time of the year. I am happy to announce that the

school production will be an incredible adaptation of The Crucible into a modern

age era. And I'm going to call it The Witches of Sochmed.

What's it said in the Mediterranean?

No, no.

It stands for social media.

But it's also a crazy town called Sochmed.

Sorry, Judy, that's not going to be the show this year. Of course it is. I'm

announcing it.

The show's going to be called Aliens, Aliens, Aliens. What are you talking

about? About a bunch of teenagers who get abducted by aliens and then end up

going to Mars.

Well, you can't come to my announcement and over -announce my announcement.

Well, I had to because you made an announcement that's not correct. This is

absolutely ridiculous.

You can still direct it. My hands will not be on that.

Fantastic. It's nice to have something that's coming from the kids' minds, you

know. Something that the kids actually want to do for life. How?

How dare you.

A plague on you. Can you not do that Shakespearean voicey thing, please?

It was a fair idea.

Someone's pitched a better idea.

I think we should have a vote or something.

This can't be it.

All right. Who votes for The Witches of Thoshmed?

And for Aliens, Aliens, Aliens?

So that's 9 -1.

Spewing. Ma?

Huh? Not supporting me back there. What the hell was that about?

I don't think two votes would have changed anything.

Typical really, isn't it? What's typical?

You! Not supporting me.

I do support you. How?

All the time. Okay, name one time you've supported me.

You want one time?

Yeah. In the last year, you've been out 35 times while I've been looking after

Reynolds. And I've been out once. And on that night, your sister looked after

him. My sister came over to support me while I was being a solo parent.

You're not a solo parent.

Well, I was that night.

Where were you?

Have you been counting how many times I've been out this year?

Well, I was just checking my calendar and it all came up. What?

Yeah. Like they're etching up, like you're in prison or something. Like a

castaway. Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

You drive me fucking nuts. I'm done. I am done with this. We're through.

I'm off.

All the best.

Good luck.

Hope you're happy. Is this about aliens, aliens, aliens?

Yeah.

Ding, ding, ding. Well done.

Please consider this my resignation.

Okay.

That's it? You don't want to... No.

Okay.

See ya.

She's a fucking handful is what she is. Yeah, well there's no need to swear.

Okay, I won't. She's an effing handful then, Gerard. Everyone knows what you

mean by effing. That's right, good.

I want them to. Could you just not, though? We've had enough of that for

My point is, we need someone to cover her drama classes until we can find

someone permanent, so... Why doesn't Rudy do it?

Oh, yeah.

It's the obvious choice. It's the obvious choice. He's the relieving

OK, great.

So you're going to sort that out? Yep, I'll do it. Talk to Rudy and just put

ad in the Gazette. Oh, I'll do it. I don't have much else to do.

Well, you do, Malcolm.

You still haven't fixed the virus on Gerard's computer, have you? Mum, we've

talked about the virus. The virus is a friend, Mum.

The virus is a what? The virus is part of the biodiversity of the technical

network of this operation.

Don't talk like that. It's gobbledygook. How dare you call it gobbledygook? It

is my area of expertise.

It's making no sense whatsoever, Malcolm.

Well, it might not make any sense to you. That's why I'm here. That's why you

brought me in, Mum.

You're acting like a child, Malcolm. I am 29 years old. Yes, exactly, but

not acting your age, are you? I am acting as I think is completely

Well, it's not appropriate for you to be stuck in your bedroom for 10 years

playing video games while I... bringing pizza.

I love World of Warcraft. It's my safe space.

Yes, it is not my safe space, is it? I don't know if I want to do this anymore.

This whole family co -working thing is not working out. That's it. I'm done.

Guys. Thank you very much for nothing.

Well, great.

What's going on?

Me and Judy broke up.

Yeah. Were you just, like, quietly inside, like, fuck, yes.

No. So, who's leaving?

Like, is she making you leave?

No, there's a thing she calls nesting. Have you heard of that?

Nesting? So, Reynolds stays in the house.

Right. His nest.

And then we come and go on a weekly basis.

Where are you going to go?

Are you going to rent some sort of shitty apartment or something?

That's going to be fucking...

Have you still got your spare room?

What's that?

Have you still got your spare room?

I don't have a spare room, I think. You do have a spare room. Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, it's now full of junk and stuff. I'll help you empty it.

No, the thing is, I can't actually have anyone come and stay at my joint because

the landlord was like, you can't have anyone staying there.

I thought you owned their house.

I do own it, yeah.

Yeah. Body call.

Yeah, it's all in the writing and you sign the document.

Anyway, so you're going to be packing up your shit every week, so what, are you

going to have to pack it overnight or a weekly bag?

Probably, yeah.

How many, like, set of clothes do you reckon you'll put in that?

At least five.

Five undies.

Yeah. My pyjamas.

Pyjamas? Yeah.

Who wears pyjamas? I do.

Why?

Because it's nice.

Just wear, like, a pair of shorts to bed.

Like a man.

Or nothing.

Did you wear pyjamas before, Judy?

No.

I used to sleep naked.

Yeah. Because I'd go to the toilet a couple of times in the middle of the

Yeah, right, right. And hop back into bed and... Cool, man. Hey, I've got to

to basketball.

Sorry, bro.

No, all good.

But good chat.

You going to hang out in here?

Is that okay?

Yeah, you can hang out in here.

You want this shut or... Yeah.

It's dark if I shut it. That's all right.

Okay.

See you, mate.

See you.

Okay, now you want to start indicating, all right?

Okay, slow down a little bit.

Go slow down.

Oh, great, it's Malibu Gop.

Great.

Interesting.

Hello.

And who was in that car?

The driver, Jasmine.

And Jasmine's a student here?

Yeah.

Okay, and turn the keys off. Morning, Miss Duffy.

Morning, Stephanie.

And Jasmine is up? Yeah, morning.

Jasmine, what license would you be on?

Well, I'm on my learner. I actually don't have it on me. Miss Duffy called

had to run out of the house.

We had to get to school on time, didn't we, Jasmine?

Right. Would you be able to sort of run me through the events that happened this

morning? Well...

Miss Duffy called me and I woke up and she just asked me to come to the driving

lesson. No, just thinking of your driving lesson.

Oh yeah, not a driving lesson. Because Jasmine rang and said, I need to learn

drive. And I was like, it's a busy morning, but let's do it.

Very generous of you. Is that kind of roughly what happened? Roughly, I think.

Yeah,

roughly.

Jasmine, are you aware that in order to have a driving lesson, the person in the

passenger seat has to be currently in the position of an active full license?

Well, they have to be a really, really good driver.

Yeah. Yeah. There's no offence by you today, Miss Duffy, but unfortunately,

Jasmine, for you, this is going to... What? Oh, yeah.

That's where you went wrong, because you didn't ask me about it. But you're the

one that called me in the morning. Yeah, I know, but you need to ask me whether

I hold a current licence.

How is that my fault? No, no. You called me at 6 .55am.

Yes, Stephanie is saying you are the one to blame here. So, Jasmine, I'm going

to let you off with a warning today.

Make sure you get to class on time, OK?

Yeah. Miss Duffy?

Hello. What a lovely surprise.

How are you?

I'm good, how are you? Oh, you're looking good. Thank you. I am here to

for the part -time administration role.

Oh, but I thought you were at university full -time.

Oh, yes, no, I am, but, you know, I can juggle it part -time. It's a highly

stressful job, Georgina. I've had my son in here and he couldn't take the pace.

Why don't you get a cafe job or something, waitressing or something like

Georgina. Hello, Miss Nita.

I'm just applying for the part -time admin role.

Ooh. Yes. Look at that.

That's very impressive. And I've got a lot of references in there, so, yeah.

Now, there's only one thing that I would raise, and that is the ethical problems

of having someone that's just finished school coming back in and having access

to all the files.

I haven't got a problem with that. Just don't look at any of the private stuff

of the students that you knew here.

No. Yeah. Also, I probably wouldn't read your own files.

Oh, what's in there? What's in the file? Oh, just assessment of your

psychological makeup.

I've read it. You've read it.

Oh, we've all read it.

Whoa.

Where do you guys come up with this kind of stuff?

It's standard, like, alien, human abduction, Mario.

Oh. And is it...

Sorry, because I've never actually seen an alien show, TV show or movie or

anything like that.

Is there going to be a spaceship?

Yeah, hopefully.

Functioning spaceship?

More like a cardboard cutout or something.

With more budget.

Does it happen on Earth?

Yeah. So when do the aliens come and be in the show?

What? When are the aliens coming? When do they start rehearsing?

Oh, no, they're not aliens. It's just us.

Who's playing an alien?

We're not really sure yet. We haven't figured it out. You haven't figured it

yet, and we don't know what the trouble is. All we know is that there's aliens

saving aliens here.

I reckon we start by finding our inner alien.

Will you give us a demonstration?

Ms Mokopo -Fuddy normally shows us what to do first.

Okay, I'll show you, but don't let it influence what you guys do. I just want

full creativity from you guys, okay?

Your turn.

Show me. One, two, three, go.

Oh, good.

Oh. No, no, no, just stop. No, because you're going to have to do something.

No, I mean, yeah, I just need... Yeah?

I just need a ride home after work. Oh, come on. That's just made my day so much

longer. But what else are you going to do, you know? Well, I was going to go to

the gym.

You don't need to go to the gym. You look amazing.

Thank you.

Yeah, I've been doing three days on, one day off and another three days. I'm not

that interested in all the details and stuff. I just need a little ride home,

okay? Come on.

Yeah, all right. Okay, I'll give you a lift. It's fine.

Also, it needs to be in my car.

Oh, fuck.

Because how am I going to get my car back otherwise, Vinnie? Okay, think

it. What am I going to do about my car? Just come back and get it.

Okay. Okay? Oh, my God.

One day. That's it. Just today. Sure. Okay? Okay, then we just need to do a

little tidy up before Catherine arrives. What? What are you mumbling?

I'm just saying I really appreciate you helping me just do a little tidy up

before my sister Catherine arrives.

Okay? Because she is on me. She'll be on me.

Is that it? Yeah.

You buy me some beers for this?

It might actually be good to see your place, finally.

Yeah. Yeah, think of it as a housewarming.

Okay.

Jesus.

On the property letter.

Oh, no, Robin.

Oh, no.

What?

This is an absolute mess.

What are you talking about?

It was a mortgagee sale, all right? What's that mean?

The last... People couldn't service the mortgage and so they had to... Because

they were dead. Because they were on crack. They were addicted to crap.

I don't get told if they're dead or not, do I?

What's that?

That is just the neighbour's fluffy little rottweiler. Look, I'm going

Oh, no.

OK.

Here we are.

Come on in.

Oh, man.

So, yeah, this is it.

You know Lloyd?

Hi, Lloyd.

A little bit of complimentary artwork that came with the house.

And I got the fireplace.

Yeah. It's just like a little wood burner.

I caught it on the thing.

What's that?

They're my like rustic wood logs, you know?

It's like that Danish Uyghur thing where you make it all cosy and shit.

Um, Robin, that's not rustic, that's demolition wood.

That's not a problem because I'm never going to burn it. It's just for the

impression. Yeah, but you can't burn that, eh? Robin, you can't burn that.

I'm not going to burn it.

Oh no.

So I'm thinking, right?

Yeah. I'll sort all this.

I've just, oh my, I've just seen the nose of a rat.

When Lloyd is feeling more comfortable, he will deal with the rats. Can you

just, can we stay focused? We have got a ticking clock.

Robert? Yeah?

What's this?

It's the downstairs.

I know it's the downstairs. What's this caution table about? I don't know. I'm

just not allowed down there for a few months. And they put the caution... Oh,

okay. So that's where they were cooking the mess.

Can you just not continue to put down my first home, okay? This is my first home

and I'm creating memories and I'm not enjoying this memory.

Neither am I. So what we need to do is we need to get the cleaning product and

you need to clean my toilet, okay?

Hello?

Hello? Oh, hi!

I thought we'd got the wrong place.

I thought it was like a sort of, project or something it is kind of a project i

like it it's gangster thank you charlie i think it's um gangster too i've really

embraced the gangster it's a kind of diy gangster thing what do you want to sit

down somewhere what we could sit at the table can you just organize them i'm

gonna head i'm gonna go pick up my car because i have her left home oh where's

your car robin it's a very very long story right not drinking or not drinking

was a pedestrian crossing and it tipped me over the edge i'm not a drink driver

catherine Did you knock somebody over? No, I didn't knock somebody over, for

God's sake.

Anyway, nice to meet you guys.

So great to meet you. Oh, yeah, cuddle.

Great.

See you later.

See you tomorrow.

Okay, I've got a couple of sparkling wines. It's not that cold, but... Sorry.

Do you not have any glasses?

Just take a couple. Oh, please. Oh, no, the one's fine.

Okay, cheers.

Well, good to see you. Welcome.

And happy housewarming, Aunty Robin.

Chim chim.

Maybe take them off the arm of the thing. It's a bit mucky, that arm.

Okay. The table's probably not... Just leave it.

Just put it on your trousers. I don't think it's safe.

So what's happening with the divorce?

Things are very raw for us at the moment. We're still just trying to sort

tiptoe around Giles, his new partner, and all of that shit.

I mean, the thing with Giles.

He was just so disinterested.

It was like he got the prize, he conquered me, he won the trophy, he put

the shelf, the shelf got a little bit fat.

Is there any reason that you have a screwdriver on the table? No.

Just a thing? It's just a DIY thing.

This is a do -it -yourself project, as I was explaining, and it's just like I

bought a screwdriver so I can just do it.

Does Vinnie help with that?

Uh, no, Vinnie has not helped with that yet, although he probably will. He looks

very fit.

He's the PE teacher, so... I wondered what the whistle was.

Please don't move in on my friend.

I'm not moving in. It's embarrassing.

Oh. You're embarrassing yourself, okay, and you're going to embarrass Charlie.

All right, Uber's here.

What? What have you called an Uber for?

Well, we're not staying here. Why not?

Well, we're going to stay with Sarah.

I'll be Sarah?

No, you're staying here. Sorry, when was this decided?

We had a little FaceTime and saw her place.

Looks lovely.

Come on then, sweetheart. Let's poik all the gear out.

Do you want me to shut you back in or do you want some fresh air?

Yeah, just leave it open. It's fine. Okay, cheerio. Bye.

I'm Robin Hipster.

I was just wondering about dropping my fun Charlie off for the day. Just drop

him off at the mall like everybody else. Have you got your driver's license?

No, I've got my learning. Oh, perfect.

What's this?

My muscle.

Yeah, it's not too uniform, is it?

What's that?

That's a holding pen.

Are you eating the cucumber out of the sandwich?

I'm just avoiding gluten.

Oh, sorry.

I guess she's drunk. Bye, Mum.

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