Original subtitles

A couple of things on the agenda this morning.

Mrs. O'Sullivan's sick again,

so we've got a relieving teacher today.

I'm the reliever, John.

Okay, so that's Rudy Beard, very good.

Item two is a very exciting bit of info for Judy.

Thank you, thank you.

Ears here, ears on me, ears and eyes.

- We're not your students. - Ears and eyes.

Don't talk to us like that.

I have a very, very special announcement.

- Yeah? - This year's school production is-

- Grease. - No.

Equus.

- What's Equus? - I don't know.

- Equus, very famous play. - Is it?

Never heard of it.

It's about sexuality and horses.

- Ooh. - Ooh.

Yeah?

So there'll be a few key roles that are human,

everybody else will be horses,

and the horses are nude.

So, the students are going to be nude up on stage-

- Yep. - For the school production?

Yes.

Look, I've got a real problem with this, Judy.

- In fact- - Surprise, surprise.

I wouldn't be surprised to find it was illegal.

Why wouldn't you put on a show

that people wanna come and see?

Wouldn't you have to get the parents' consent?

What are you talking about?

Why wouldn't you put on something like Footloose,

or Dirty Dancing, Grease Lightning.

- I love it. - Then have your jeans.

- So safe. - You can have your sex.

Of course you wanna see safe.

Blocks, blocks, blocks, blockers,

that's what you are.

Shut up, Georgina.

Okay, class, I don't know if anybody's noticed,

but I've been standing here for 45 seconds, okay,

and nobody has bothered to zip it

and look to the front, okay.

Eyes on me, thank you.

Now, have I talked to you guys about the road yet?

Remind me.

Georgina.

- No, what's the road? - Great.

"No, what's the road?"

Maria?

Is it the road kind of like your life road,

like your life path?

Yes, it is, well done, Maria,

that's what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about- No, no,

don't give her a high five.

All she did was answer a question, okay.

We can't celebrate everything in life.

Shut up.

Jayden, why are you laughing?

Frankie, what did you say?

What did Frankie say?

Don't get your knickers in a twist, miss.

Don't get your knickers in a twist.

I didn't say that, miss.

Tell you what, I'm not interested, okay.

I'm not interested in anything you guys say, okay.

Hands down, not interested.

Hands down, not interested, okay.

Hands up, who's ever been on a road?

I know I have. So, Dixon, you've never been on a road,

you've just lived rurally in a paddock, have you?

Yeah, everyday, miss, on a farm.

Okay, thank you.

Okay, I think we can safely assume

we all know what a road is,

but no, I'm not meaning a literal road, am I?

We are journeying together on the road

towards our eventual deaths.

Attention, Karen Clockworthy to reception immediately.

Thank you.

Hi, good morning, sir,

- how can I help you? - Good day.

I'd like to make an enrollment.

Oh, certainly, who for,

daughter or a son?

It's for me.

Yes, no, but is it for your son or your daughter?

No, no, I want to enroll at this school for me.

I wanna come back here.

- Well, how old are you? - I'm 46.

You can't enroll here.

- Of course, I can. - Don't be ridiculous.

Karen, can you go up to the bakery

and get me a skinny mochaccino

and a gluten-free cheese roll?

- Oh, okay, yeah. - Thanks, darling.

What's wrong with me coming back here as a student?

Well, it's highly unusual,

nobody ever does it.

Look, I'll give the principal a call

and see if he can come out and speak to you.

Thanks.

I'm going to get you to write a personal journal entry

about your present,

about your thoughts,

about your feelings.

It can be a stream of consciousness.

Does everybody know what I mean

by a stream of consciousness?

- Georgina? - It's when you start writing

and you just, you don't stop writing.

That's right, Maria.

I look forward, I look back, I don't follow, I don't even care-

No, no, no, no, no.

? I'm like a duck ?

? I shout, quack, quack, quack ?

? I fight like, yeah, yeah, kitty, cat, cat ?

? I'm a little poet ?

? So take that, Ms. D ?

Okay, a round of applause for Maria.

A rapper, okay.

I would just like to give you a personal best of luck

for your career as a rapper artist, okay?

Thanks Ms. Duffy.

I'll try and make it to one of your concerts.

I'll set aside a ticket for you, miss.

Cool, yeah, I'll be waiting [chuckles].

Okay, now I want everyone to be looking at Ms. D,

I'm setting the exercise, okay.

It is a confidential journal entry,

so I do not want you to censor yourselves,

this is for your eyes only.

Start writing, okay,

pen to paper.

Thoughts and feelings, get them down.

Go.

Okay, class, I am going to need to

go and do some things, okay.

So I'm gonna give you 25 minutes.

No talking, no laughing, okay?

I want to enroll as an adult student.

Not sure if we can.

Can we do that?

- We can, but- - I've looked online,

it's totally legal.

- Is it? - Yeah.

- Okay, what's your name? - Robert.

Robert Aaron Gary Spencer.

So, Robert Aaron Gary Spencer.

No look, that's not gonna fit into the computer,

you're gonna have to truncate it down.

We could just be the initials, I guess.

- How you. Vinnie? - Hey, good day, how you going?

Heard you had a bit of a stinger on Friday?

Yeah, I only just got over it to be honest.

How long were you stinging for?

Like after you dropped the-

How do you know about that?

Well, because John was mentioning

that you had a bit of a stinger.

No, no, I think you got that wrong.

Stinger's hungover.

He might've said pinger.

Oh, so then what's the pinger?

- It's just like a bickie. - Is that E?

It's a pinger, E.

But is that ecstasy, ecstasy.

Ecky, ecky.

No, you would never say ecky.

It's just a bickie,

just say bickie if, you know.

Okay, because look, I've lost my kind of,

you know, my mojo, my kind of adrenaline

so I'm looking for something, you know,

I could go like about 40 bucks for Friday.

What could I get?

Could I get a bickie?

For 40?

You could get a bickie, yeah, you get one.

Or you could get some speed.

I've been quite depressed recently.

Oh, have you?

Would speed be good for that?

No, no, speed would be terrible for that.

- I'll get you some coke. - Oh, yeah.

The good thing about this coke

- is it is fucking dirty. - Great.

- Is that great? - Oh, it's great.

And we call 'em nose beers, me and John.

- Nose beers. - Yeah, when we go out, we're like,

"Getting some nose beers tonight?"

And he's like, "Ah, fucking yes, please."

Okay, I'll be keen on doing that.

Can I do that with you guys?

Definitely, be careful around John, though,

'cause he gets a bit seedy when he's had a couple.

- Oh, yeah. - He'll come on to you hard.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

I haven't had that for a while, so, you know.

You might-

Be nice to fend him off, you know.

I'm getting excited,

because I reckon we'll be a good team

at all of this.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, get me a fuck buddy.

Get me sort of.

Well, my only worry is that you wanna come to school,

we might have to apply for special funding,

special application.

- Hey, Robyn? - Yeah.

Hey, Vinnie, can you guys come in here?

Hey, can he come to our school?

Oh, what would he teach?

- No, he's must be a student. - Oh.

- How old are you? - 46.

I'm two years older than you.

God, that feels weird, doesn't it?

- Yeah. - That's weird.

So why do you want to enroll as a 46-year-old?

- Well, I never got my school set. - Why?

I've just failed it the first time round.

You know that school certificate's gone,

it's like about 20 years old.

So, why do you really wanna enroll?

You wanting a student allowance

so you need to be a student for some reason,

you're declaring yourself bankrupt

and you need to have an alibi, or?

Because you're probably available for a student allowance.

- Okay, the real reason. - Yeah.

- I've divorced. - Same.

- I've got a crazy ex-wife. - Ex-husband, yep.

She destroyed me on Facebook.

Okay, two sides to every story.

Yeah, well, lies and everything about me.

All lies, yeah, okay.

And I've got a daughter, and she's here at this school,

her name's Maya, she's in year 11.

So you wanna enroll in school 'cause you want to-

I need to see my daughter, okay.

You know what you need?

I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm sorry.

- You know what you need? - No.

Spoonful of cement to harden the fuck up.

He's right, though.

Drink some tea, mate, drink some tea.

- Thanks, mate. - That was a joke, I'm joking.

That's tough, though.

Okay, so just, sorry, lemme just quickly summarize.

Your wife doesn't like you seeing your daughter,

you are now attempting to re-enroll in a high school

to gain proximity to your daughter.

Have I got that straight?

No, yeah, yeah, everything's correct.

Okay, well that seems fine to me.

Yeah, okay.

So you're thinking year 11, year 12?

Oh, I wanna be in my in Maya's class, in year 11.

Okay, well I'm just about to teach that class.

Great, follow me, grab your cup.

Oh, geez.

Hope you got your pencil case.

- After you. - Thank you.

Perfect.

The fuck?

What do you reckon?

I think it's gonna be entertaining,

but like, I dunno it does he have a daughter here,

we just sort of went with that, but?

Oh shit, we did, too, didn't we?

This would be your new class.

I'm a bit nervous.

Rory, don't be showing your journal to Maya, please, okay.

Everybody, eyes up on Ms. D.

I would like to introduce everybody to Robert,

he will be joining the class as an adult student.

Okay, kids?

Yes Georgina.

Is it allowed?

Yes, it is allowed, anybody else?

- Yes, Bean. - Aren't you Maya's dad?

- Oh. - I totally see that.

Wait, is that your dad?

Yeah, yeah I am.

Did you get like unemployed or something

while you got time to come to school or?

I have had some unemployment.

I had a leg or two without money coming in.

Yeah, that's rough, brother, I feel you,

- I feel you, brother. - Thanks, mate.

Yeah, well, it's like the road, isn't it?

You know, sometimes, you hit a pothole.

Now, we're gonna seat you down the back here,

we've got a spare desk, so follow me.

Actually, Robyn, I'd probably prefer to sit at the front

if you can.

Oh, next to Maya?

- Yeah. - Okay, Rory, stand up,

grab your journal,

move to the back, please.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

What the hell are you doing here?

There's a custody agreement, you can't even be here.

It's a loophole,

I can be at school with you.

I'm not gonna be in your face or anything.

I'll just play four square with the boys, we'll just hang out.

You're in my face right now,

you made Rory move to the back of class.

Okay, now I will actually be needing to come around

and collect your journals,

because I have realized that we haven't fulfilled

the necessary assessment criteria of this module

so far this term.

I wrote down my private hopes, dreams, desires, fantasies.

That's fantastic, I'm sure you'll get an A+ for it.

So I'm just gonna be coming around.

Do not resist me.

Don't resist me, or you'll be marks off, okay?

Thank you, Georgina, okay.

Did you write about me in the journal?

- It was confidential. - Am I in there, though?

I'm not telling you dad.

No, don't rip it.

No, don't give it, give it.

I will only be assessing the syntax, the language,

I am not assessing the content,

so you have no need for concern.

Oh, this one's good.

"Mr. Needham is very weird,

he creeps me out a lot,

is he gay?"

I mean, that's a good question.

Oh, here, "The drama teacher, however, is super intense.

She yells and directs plays like Hitler."

Well that's just, you know,

I'm, no, I'm fine with that, you know.

Any review is a good review so I'll just,

I take it on, it's fine.

Hey, there any about me?

There are shit loads about you.

- Here's one, who's this? - Are you joking?

Who's that?

Oh, Jayden, Jayden Thompson.

"Mr. T is a bully.

He bullies me and the other students, he's so mean.

He's a dodgy wanker,

- he's dodgy with the girls-" - Agreed.

"And the way he looks at them makes me feel uncomfortable.

- He is cruelly abhorrent." - I concur.

You know what pisses me off about that?

- What? - Is he's a little fat, fucking shit-

- Hey, hey, hey. - And he just-

Fuck off, you little-

Man, that's like, how, sorry.

Case in point, you just proved them right.

Okay, we're gonna do

a little bit of a quick circuit.

I've laid the cones out in two sections.

First section's gonna be zigzagging, okay?

On the way back,

hopping over the cones,

squatting like that.

Jayden, where is your uniform, mate?

At home.

At home. Did you leave your lunch at home?

- No. - No way, wouldn't do that.

I'm seeing Pop-Tarts,

whole fridge in there, probably.

Let's go, here we go.

One at a time, go.

Go.

Go.

- Did I whistle, Jayden? - No, you didn't.

Back up the wiggles,

we're gonna start again.

Go in three, two.

I'm counting down, Jayden.

Gimme five, five pushups now, come on.

One Pop-Tart,

two Pop-Tarts.

Okay, get up, that's a waste of time.

Just go over him.

He's probably be five minutes,

- So, Mr. T? - Yes, yes.

I just feel like it's a bit rough,

I'm not wearing my PE uniform, either, so-

Yeah, no, this isn't about you.

Jayden, let's go, let's go.

Okay, come on, mate, let's go.

Go, go, go, move it.

Start running, Jayden.

Surprise ball, catch it.

Gotta be ready to catch those, go.

Another one, catching.

So, where do you want these cones?

Ah, just pop 'em down there.

Would you label me a bully, Jayden?

An abhorrent bully.

Little journal floating around, mate.

You're labeling me a bully,

I could lose my job with that label.

Do you want me to lose my job, Jayden?

Well-

You just, you're fucking,

you're taking me for a ride, Jayden.

You're gonna clean up the fucking shed.

You're gonna clean up everything in this room,

and I'm gonna come back and inspect it,

you understand me?

It looks pretty organized already.

Yeah, okay, all right.

Okay, clean 'em up.

Get cleaning, mate.

And that's mine.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for,

this year's school production will be-

- Grease. - No, not Grease.

It's going to be Equus.

A beautiful tale of sexuality and horses.

Yeah, so we are really carrying on all of that

animal physicality work we were doing last term.

The other amazing aspect of the show

is that you'll all be nude.

So, auditions will be this lunchtime, all right?

So I'll see you all there, okay?

Thank you very much.

Actually, Sally Ann, can you stay behind, please?

I'd like to just have a quick word with you.

- Yeah, okay. - Bye.

Now Sally Ann, don't tell the others,

but I've really got you in mind for the lead horse.

Okay.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Okay, in 10 years-

- You wake up, you get up. - I wake up.

You put on your clothes,

you go to work, where are you?

I'm looking out, and I'm seeing a New York...

- Okay, New York. - ...film set.

Okay, yeah, no, you're not seeing a film set, no.

And I'm like Queen Latifah,

but from New Zealand.

- So Maria, you're living- - Lights go on.

Yeah, you're living in a fantasy,

I am gonna talk over you, okay.

And then I get into a taxi.

You're living in a fantasy land.

I am asking you a serious question,

and I want you to answer this question in reality.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Give me a job title.

- Okay, tell you what? - Drama, doing a drama.

No, no, okay, okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

You're getting all muddled up, okay.

Let me make this clearer,

I'll do it, okay?

Okay, so Maria's getting up,

she's putting on her uniform,

she's catching an Uber to work,

she opens the door,

- you know what I see? - Drama.

Freezing works.

Okay, meat, the meat industry,

that's what I see. So we're gonna take you out of drama.

I'm gonna focus you into the sciences, okay?

And what's the ratio of male to female

on that particular cruise?

No, no, no dietary requirements.

I'll eat anything [laughs].

- Excuse me. - Well, can you send me a brochure?

Thank you. Oh yes, bye-bye.

- Hi. - Sorry, hello.

Hello. David and Rachel Thompson.

We are Jayden's parents, we'd like to see Ms.-

- Ms. Duffy. - Duffy.

Righto, have you got an appointment?

- No, we don't. - If you haven't got an appointment,

you could find a bit of a problem.

But anyway, sign in, pop the date there, and...

Where'd you park?

Oh, just out here.

- Oh no, you can't park there. - It's a car park.

No, no, you're blocking the causeway,

that's the civil defense.

- We'll deal with that. - No, we will have to move it.

You have to wear one of these as a visitor.

Now you'll have to stay fairly close together,

because we've only got one sticker for you.

There's a book of stickers.

Yes, well those ones are reserved.

You don't have to hold hands or anything.

That's fine. Can we see Ms. Duffy now?

Yes, certainly.

I'm gonna throw you the ball,

you're gonna answer the question, okay.

Three ways you relax, catch?

- Having a dart. - Yep.

Having a bath.

Eating dinner.

Good, throw it back.

Oh, come in.

Robyn, hi, we've just got some parents in the office

who want to speak with you.

Some parrots?

No, sorry, parent, parents.

- Oh, God, parents. - Parents.

Okay, who are they?

I dunno, I'm just the reliever.

Okay, what I want you to do is just

read, release, throw the ball up in the air yourself

and answer the things, okay?

Can I trust you to do that?

Okay, thank you.

Someone here to see me, Sheree?

Jayden Thompson's parents.

Did they look angry?

Fucking furious.

- So, where are they? - They've just gone to move their car.

What, they're moving their car.

- Yes, they parked- - Sheree, I've just come out

of a very important meeting, okay.

I can't be standing here in reception

waiting for people to move their car.

Look, I told them they didn't have an appointment,

I told them to make one.

Okay, well tell them I'm moving my car then, okay.

Oh no, Robyn, I can't do that, not with these ones.

I'm just gonna drive my car around the car park

and re-park it.

- You tell them that, okay. - It's not my job description-

I know it's not.

to deal aggressive parents, Robyn.

Sorry about that,

just moving my car.

Right, so what can I do for you?

Well, it's about our son, Jayden.

He's been having some bullying issues with his PE teacher,

also, I believe, Mr. Thompson.

Yes, right okay, Vinnie Thompson.

He's quite frightened.

He's a little worried that he's going to get hurt.

No, he's one of those, yeah,

- he is a frightened child, isn't he? - Well, not-

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, he frights easily, I would say,

we could all agree that he frights easily?

Well, I'm not gonna agree with that, no.

Could we say skittish?

Could we agree on the word skittish?

We'd like to know what's going on, Ms. Duffy?

Yeah, okay.

He mentioned something about a journal.

Journal.

I would've thought a teacher would know what a journal is.

Oh no, I know what a journal is. I'm just trying to think

about what maybe what journal.

Oh, oh yeah, okay.

No, I do remember. I think, yeah, I think.

Are you referring to Jayden Thompson's journal,

this journal here?

Okay, I'm interested to know why you have his journal.

I have his journal because I realized,

and yes, my bad, I realized that

yes, I did need to actually mark these,

- they do need to contribute to- - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

So, you told the students

that these would be confidential journals?

- Yes, I did. - And then you've read the journals

and so, I'm sorry, my bad,

is that not a breach of privacy?

No, that is a change up of the criteria.

You just get to make the rules

and just throw everything else out.

Who do you think you are, Ms. Duffy?

Oh, okay.

I am gonna have to disclose a little bit of information

you are gonna find uncomfortable,

and I didn't want to have to do it, okay.

Go on, then.

I bent over to pick up a ball

when I was on lunchtime duty the other day,

and I turned around and saw Jayden ogling me.

His eyes were basically falling out of his sockets,

if you know what I mean.

And his tongue was hanging out,

and I think I saw some saliva.

We're gonna take this further,

we'd like to speak to the principal, please.

- Oh, okay. - Whereabouts is his office?

I can't remember.

Oh, hi, Sheree.

- Oh. - Mr. Needham.

Oh, hi.

Sorry, I'm just doing some art.

This a bit of a self-portrait.

How can I help you?

Well, it's about our son, Jayden, Jayden Thompson.

- All right. - He feels bullied

by your PE teacher.

There was a journal,

the journal was meant to be private.

- That's right. - Got read out,

and Mr. Thompson must have found out

and has been bullying...

Can I just ask, did you get a visitor sticker

when you came in?

We just have visitor sticker books.

Well, apparently, you've run out.

This has nothing to do with visitors.

Excuse me, Jack, I just overheard you

talking about the visitor stickers.

We could just get a little bit of paper and get a Sharpie

and write "visitor" on it,

and we can pop a little sticker on Mrs. Thompson.

- All right, then. - Thank you, Sheree.

Well, this is obviously getting us nowhere.

What we're going to do is we are going to go home,

we are gonna make a complaint to the Ministry of Education.

Okay, well, I don't think we need to go

and make any complaints.

Well, look, something's got to happen here.

Well, I've got an idea.

We've got a school production coming up,

and I know he didn't audition, because it's about horses, and-

Here you are, here's your visitor's sticker.

Make sure you return it when you sign out, please.

Thank you, Sheree.

You're a darling.

I'm sorry, back to the school production.

Yeah, so I don't see why I can't have a chat

with the drama teacher about Jayden,

you know, maybe playing lead.

So, you'll be excited about Jayden

being the lead in Equus.

Ah, Jayden, no, no, absolutely, no.

I was thinking Sally Ann, actually, lovely Sally Ann.

I've already given the part away to Jayden.

Well, that's not your call, so.

I'm so sorry, but I did, I did it.

Okay, it's a long story,

but I did it as a kind of transaction to save my own ass.

I can't believe you've done this.

Oh, I'm hot, getting one of my hots.

He can't be the lead in Equus.

Please don't hurt the machine.

I'm really sorry, I'll do anything

to make it up to you, buy a bottle of rose.

What do you drink?

- Yeah, rose. - Okay.

- Yeah, that'd be lovely. - Thank you, and sorry, okay.

? Educators, are you ready ?

? We are the teachers And we're proud to shout ?

? We're rough, we're tough We're powder puffs ?

? So come on, educators, do your stuff ?

Then you spell it, E-D-U-C.

And then you spell it out.

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