Original subtitles

Mm -mm, time for some Monday schlong madness.

Finally taking an afternoon to fuck this toy I got from Hanky's Toys.

The meat tube, the sausage man.

I think it's actually called the Long John if I'm getting the model correct,

modeling correct.

I think this is the Long John from Hanky's Toys. Comes in one size.

big Yeah It's just like a big fucking meat tube

Cock situation it's like There's the

The size up for you This

is what we're working with today

I'm not even sure how long the insertable length is on this from like

balls to the tip.

We're gonna have to pull up the measuring tape to take some measurements

do you think?

Yeah, it has this kind of weird curve, like you can see that.

So I'm not sure which way I should ride it. I'll probably try both just to see

which way is more stable.

And we're gonna see how much of this I'm able to take.

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm able to help this to the balls. We'll have to measure it and

see if the numbers add up.

It's not particularly thick, so maybe.

But yeah, it came out pretty soft.

So I'm hoping that it doesn't like bend under me while I'm trying to ride it.

And hopefully they will try to fuck it. We'll see.

I feel like even though I got that fucking finger.

dildo, the Midas touch, I feel like this is more cursed, like, it's just, it's

really, like, straddling the uncanny valley, because it's, like, supposed to

realistic, but it's not very realistic, like, it's, like, very, very veiny in

texture, it's kind of like an alien cock, but, like, in the flesh tone with,

like, the human aesthetic, I don't know, it's very creepy, like, look at the

fucking balls, looks like a brain or something, yeah, anyway.

I'm gonna get my ass down there, we'll get a nice seated size of this thing up

against me, and then we'll see how much of it I'm able to take and how long I'm

able to fuck it.

Alright.

Look at this fucking size up, oh my god.

That's such a fucking tube steak of a cock, Jesus Christ.

Um, upon strapping this thing up, Um, I am feeling like this isn't going to go

very well because that's

the curve on the shaft plus the fucking softness of the silicone. Like it just,

it has zero to 10 stability, I would say. Um, so I

feel like this is going to really be a real pain in the ass.

to use.

So I'm at least going to try to take it as deep as I can.

I hope I should be able to at least like sit on it and get it in.

I just feel like if I try to fuck it, like it's just going to be like folding

me and shit. So I don't really think that's going to go well. I'm not feeling

particularly optimistic about that.

We'll see. Anyway, um, ah, my measuring tape's over there. Let me go get it.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Okay, let's see. So, I got the ring on

here, so let's see how much length we're working with.

From the tip here to that ring.

There we go.

What is that? I can't see.

Looks like 13 inches to the ring. Is that correct?

13? Okay, that's not so bad.

I feel pretty confident that I should be able to help this thing.

As long as the fucking curve in the shaft doesn't fight me too, too hard.

Yeah, we'll see.

Anyway, I just size up and let's just get this thing in me. See how this goes.

Okay, there. You can see how droopy it is.

It's just leaning towards the camera, completely folded over. What the fuck?

Like, why?

Boy.

I didn't warm up with anything, and I feel like that might have been a bad

because I don't think this thing is gonna be able to...

withstand very much resistance from my pussy without fucking bending like you

can see it's already kind of it's pretty bending you see that fuck me oh

my god i gotta get this thing past my cervix dad oh my god this is

so annoying already oh okay there's my cervix right there

I just want to push it past. This should be no problem.

See, it didn't warm up because it's not, like, a very thick toy, but... Oh,

there it is. Okay.

It's got a rounded head since it's realistic, so it should slip past my

pretty easily.

I'm just going to push it here.

Okay.

Oh, that's kind of tender, but... It's kind of tender, but I can't fuck with

this thing, like... I'm laughing, and it's making it bend, like...

you see that oh my god okay well that went past my cervix really easily

i'm just chilling here though because i went for it really fast my body's like

tf lily oh fuck okay okay

now we're not getting as much folding because there's less

of folding and also like the balls are like doing they're coming up i don't

if you can see that on the camera yeah there you can probably see it they're

coming up on them that's really annoying oh okay

oh did you see that it's like so

unstable

I just want to get that depop so I can just have it locked in me and be done

with it.

I can't fuck this thing.

Okay,

there. I can kind of fuck it like this, I guess.

It'll just randomly bend.

Like that.

It's just gone. Okay, great.

Great, good.

restrap it up, I guess, and try again without bouncing on it as much.

Fuck.

Unbelievable.

Well, this is very quickly proving me right.

Um, and it's definitely proving to be probably the most annoying new toy

experience I've had in a very long time.

Um, yeah.

This is, like, extra large Serafina, but even more.

Because this one doesn't have the excuse of being, like, so fucking as fucking

huge as extra large Serafina either.

Um, anyway.

try this again i'm not gonna like try bouncing on it i'm just gonna try

it i'm just gonna try fuck fuck fuck fuck oh try pushing down on it and

hopefully that fucking curve in the shaft doesn't fight me at the

bottom as much as it's been fighting me okay let's push that head past my cervix

again here

Oh.

Oh, man.

That's a little bit crampy. My body's a little tight because I'm annoyed. I can

feel it.

Don't laugh.

If I laugh, I'm going to fucking contract my insides and push it out

Okay.

Just breathe here. I need the consolation prize of being able to help

the only thing that's going to make me not completely lose my fucking mind

Oh, my God.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Okay, okay.

So I'm trying to get that paw.

I can feel that curve is fighting me.

I think I'm going to have to, like, hold.

Hold the ball and play it here.

So it doesn't run away from me. I'm just going to push here.

Push it in. Can I take it? Oh, I think it's going to go.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Fuck.

The fucking curve, the way it curves, like, towards the camera, I can feel it

just, like, my insides are like, what the fuck is this?

Oh, shit.

There we go, fuck.

Oh, my God.

It just popped out. Oh, fuck.

I gotta push it back in here. Let's hold down the balls again.

The curve is fighting me even here with that final pop.

It's in, but it doesn't feel like securely locked in.

Like when I put all my weight on it.

my insides

that was

a pretty good orgasm though I can't lie very intense

and very long I feel like every time I'm coming from

the depth penetration alone I think I've already described this but like the

orgasm is just like

it rides like the peak for so long right before kind of like and then

like it feels like I'm like like time

freezes in orgasm and I'm just like I'm like glitched out in the orgasm just

like oh my god I'm really happy that

happened though and I'm happy it didn't fucking fly out of me again

Wow.

Okay. Um, I'm just going to like take a break first and then turn around just to

try squawk fucking it only to prove how terrible it's going to go. Cause I know

it's going to go terribly, but, uh, well, yeah, just to prove it to you guys

too. Cause I, I already know it's not going to fucking work at all.

You made me come, but I'm not happy with you.

you ready to see how annoyed i can be let's see let's see just how annoyed

i can be oh my god i can't even like let go of it or it's just gonna fall oh

yeah look at that it's already like look at that if

i hold it maybe maybe it'll be doable if i hold it

If I don't hold it, look.

Yeah.

That's what I'm dealing with.

Let's hold it. I just need to push it, keep it straight.

I don't know why it's designed to be so curved.

Okay, I'm just going to push it past my cervix here.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, there it goes. Shit.

Okay.

Oh, don't laugh or I'm going to lose it again.

Okay, I felt the hold it.

Now let's see if we can push it in.

to get that pot it's not fighting me this fucking curve is fighting me at the

bottom here oh god it's so fighting

me i can't even get it in oh there we go oh my god it

went in but like it did not stay in it wouldn't stay it's just fighting me

that's so annoying

so curved and why are you so floppy?

I'm so mad and annoyed.

I hate you.

Well, that was definitely very disappointing.

I'm happy that I was able to bottom out on it. I'm happy that I got, like, a

good orgasm. That was nice, but I'm probably, like, never going to use this

again because, yeah,

that didn't do anything that...

Any of my other long toys can too, except actually be fuckable.

And they locked in me properly.

Um, yeah.

Anyway. Very bummy. I think I'm just gonna, like, reach for something else

because I'm feeling, like, very annoyed and very unsatisfied after this. So, uh,

yeah. This video is definitely a flop.

Flop! Floppy, just like you.

Flop.

Anyway, thanks for watching my annoyance and struggle.