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1
00:01:59,588 --> 00:02:03,788
In reply to the honourable member's
question, I can only say...
2
00:02:03,870 --> 00:02:05,827
Ah!
3
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:17,023
- Paper, sir?
- Yes, thank you.
4
00:02:17,114 --> 00:02:19,071
Thank you.
5
00:02:49,204 --> 00:02:51,241
Mrs Ransom! Where did you come from?
6
00:02:51,325 --> 00:02:54,443
- Up there.
- Mumsie, darling, are you all right?
7
00:02:54,526 --> 00:02:58,726
Right as rain. Halfway down,
I realised that was not the way out.
8
00:02:58,808 --> 00:03:01,606
Quite right.
Down the stairs is much safer.
9
00:03:01,688 --> 00:03:05,080
- What about my blind?
- Your blind! Put it on my bill.
10
00:04:15,193 --> 00:04:17,264
Open up!
11
00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:20,952
Open up! What the heck's
going on in there?
12
00:04:41,922 --> 00:04:43,878
- Where is he?
- Gone.
13
00:04:43,962 --> 00:04:46,272
- Gone? Who?
- No one. The gasman!
14
00:04:46,363 --> 00:04:48,958
- Wait a minute. The gasman?
- The gasman!
15
00:04:49,044 --> 00:04:51,639
Bill, I never expected you,
I thought...
16
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,479
Then who are you dolled up for?
The gasman?
17
00:04:54,566 --> 00:04:57,035
- Bill!
- And why is the door locked?
18
00:04:57,127 --> 00:05:01,758
- What's my picture doing like that?
- Oh, why are you always so jealous?
19
00:05:01,848 --> 00:05:03,840
I'm sorry, honey.
20
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,922
I'm sorry.
Why do I always blow my top?
21
00:05:24,296 --> 00:05:27,448
- Lord Mayley?
- Is His Lordship expecting you?
22
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:30,098
No one does,
but I think he'll see me.
23
00:05:30,178 --> 00:05:31,930
Thank you.
24
00:05:36,499 --> 00:05:39,298
Right, sir... Now, quite still.
25
00:05:47,023 --> 00:05:48,537
Sorry.
26
00:05:49,624 --> 00:05:51,580
What a sight!
27
00:05:53,865 --> 00:05:56,300
- Take your look.
- Hmm?
28
00:05:56,386 --> 00:05:58,343
Your position.
29
00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:02,298
Now, quite still...
30
00:06:02,388 --> 00:06:04,345
Thank you very much.
31
00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:09,145
Oh, there you are, Henry. Finished?
32
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:11,825
- Yes. How do I look?
- Very "chick".
33
00:06:11,911 --> 00:06:16,065
- I thought the word was "chic"?
- Not when applied to you.
34
00:06:16,153 --> 00:06:19,863
There's a journalist to see you
called Dennis. Smarmy creature...
35
00:06:19,954 --> 00:06:23,311
Shh, he might hear you. You know
how sensitive journalists are.
36
00:06:23,395 --> 00:06:25,386
I suppose I'd better see him.
37
00:06:25,475 --> 00:06:29,629
- Thank you, Lord Mayley.
- Thank you, Mr, er... Mr...
38
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,227
- Mr Dennis.
- Good day to you, my lord.
39
00:06:34,319 --> 00:06:38,233
- Good day. Come in.
- Is see you're going to a dance.
40
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,277
It's magnificent.
41
00:06:40,361 --> 00:06:44,196
Oh, a joke! Very funny. Take a pew.
42
00:06:44,282 --> 00:06:46,956
Thank you.
I'll be as brief as possible.
43
00:06:49,524 --> 00:06:51,276
- The...
- Huh?
44
00:06:51,364 --> 00:06:54,438
- No...
- Oh, sorry. Thank you very much.
45
00:06:54,526 --> 00:06:56,994
- Have a cigarette.
- Thank you.
46
00:06:57,087 --> 00:06:59,920
- Oh, seem to have run out.
- Not to worry.
47
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:06,605
- What's this?
- One of those scandal magazines.
48
00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:09,727
The ghastly truth
about people's private lives.
49
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:12,371
- Do borrow it.
- How charming of you.
50
00:07:12,451 --> 00:07:15,650
I shall thoroughly enjoy
reading this.
51
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:17,689
Rather naughty, I believe.
52
00:07:17,773 --> 00:07:21,005
Yes... Well, now.
Let's get to business.
53
00:07:21,094 --> 00:07:24,770
I am running a modest magazine
entitled The Naked Truth.
54
00:07:24,855 --> 00:07:29,214
- Rather a vulgar title, isn't it?
- Perhaps, but terribly apt.
55
00:07:34,698 --> 00:07:38,773
Here, we have a short biography
of your public life and works.
56
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:40,293
Very nice.
57
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:43,214
On the opposite page,
we have the real works.
58
00:07:43,301 --> 00:07:45,258
- About me?
- Yes, indeed.
59
00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:49,053
- Then why is it titled Guess Who?
- Because as British law stands,
60
00:07:49,144 --> 00:07:52,261
the public mustn't be able
to identify you
61
00:07:52,344 --> 00:07:54,700
with the naughty hero
of this article.
62
00:07:54,785 --> 00:07:59,622
- Naughty? I don't quite understand.
- Have you a weak heart?
63
00:07:59,707 --> 00:08:01,664
- No.
- Read it, then.
64
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,704
Just to check the facts.
65
00:08:20,514 --> 00:08:24,474
You can't print this.
You can't print this!
66
00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:27,628
- It's libel.
- It's the naked truth, old lord.
67
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:30,356
- But no publisher would dare.
- I would.
68
00:08:30,437 --> 00:08:33,077
I've been into the legal aspect
carefully.
69
00:08:33,158 --> 00:08:36,117
Mr X's amorous incident
in Regent's Park...
70
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:37,348
Shh!
71
00:08:37,439 --> 00:08:40,877
...has no connection
with Lord Mayley's charity work.
72
00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:44,874
Of course by judicious word of mouth,
the public might connect the two.
73
00:08:44,961 --> 00:08:46,918
You'll go to jail.
74
00:08:47,002 --> 00:08:48,959
- I'll sue you.
- Try it.
75
00:08:49,043 --> 00:08:52,957
You'd have to prove Mr X was you, and
therefore confirm the story's true.
76
00:08:53,045 --> 00:08:55,640
- Dare you risk that?
- This is England.
77
00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:58,115
- There must be a way.
- There is.
78
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:03,364
A cash gift of �10,000 to the
Distressed Journalists Association -
79
00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:07,442
of which I am the founder, treasurer
and, so far, the only member -
80
00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:12,002
would persuade the editor - myself -
to suppress this particular issue.
81
00:09:12,091 --> 00:09:14,925
- Blackmail. That's different.
- Of course.
82
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:19,245
Either way, I make money - by cash
or by raking in the royalties.
83
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,085
It'll sell like hot cakes.
84
00:09:21,173 --> 00:09:24,087
Look how keen you were
to read other people's secrets.
85
00:09:24,175 --> 00:09:25,927
- Well, that's...
- My card.
86
00:09:26,015 --> 00:09:28,325
Pay up in a fortnight
or I publish in a month.
87
00:09:28,416 --> 00:09:30,772
- You...
- Don't bother to kick me out.
88
00:09:31,978 --> 00:09:34,731
Oh, pardon me. My cigarettes.
89
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,695
�10,000 for a quarter of an hour.
90
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:53,133
Thank you.
On behalf of wee Sonny MacGregor,
91
00:09:53,224 --> 00:09:58,220
welcome to the 167th edition
of your top TV show -
92
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:02,061
the show you all enjoy and love,
Here's Tae Ye!
93
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:06,986
Thank you.
94
00:10:07,069 --> 00:10:10,186
Now let me introduce you
to the star of the show,
95
00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:13,786
the man who made it all possible,
the jack of all faces,
96
00:10:13,871 --> 00:10:17,751
the king of kindness,
the ace of good hearts...
97
00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:20,063
Wee Sonny MacGregor!
98
00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:23,708
Here's to you!
99
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,470
- Here's to you, too.
- Welcome, Sonny.
100
00:10:28,556 --> 00:10:31,230
A great big welcome
to all the old folk
101
00:10:31,317 --> 00:10:33,627
and the bonny young lads and lassies.
102
00:10:33,718 --> 00:10:36,153
I can't tell the difference,
you know!
103
00:10:36,239 --> 00:10:41,155
I know that you're going to make
this show a real sizzling humdinger.
104
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,837
Now, as you know, at this point,
105
00:10:44,921 --> 00:10:48,631
we introduce the winner
of last week's talent contest.
106
00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:51,557
Here he is! Ex-Sergeant Ramble!
107
00:10:56,405 --> 00:11:01,116
Here's to you, Walter boy,
and here's your prize.
108
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:09,566
No, no, Walter.
That's not your prize.
109
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:13,406
How old did you say you were?
110
00:11:13,491 --> 00:11:16,722
No, that's your prize, Walter.
That's it, there.
111
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:23,211
Aye. Now be a good boy, Walter.
Be a good boy!
112
00:11:25,695 --> 00:11:28,688
Yes, Walter,
that pigskin wallet is for you,
113
00:11:28,776 --> 00:11:33,293
because every week, we give one
of these beautiful prizes away free,
114
00:11:33,377 --> 00:11:37,496
but Walter, what use is a pigskin
wallet to you if it's empty?
115
00:11:37,578 --> 00:11:39,535
It's no use to you, is it?
116
00:11:39,619 --> 00:11:41,099
- Is it?
- No!
117
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:45,778
Right. So, you know what I'm going
to do, Walter? I'm going to fill it.
118
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:48,661
I'm going to fill it
out of my own pocket.
119
00:11:48,743 --> 00:11:53,454
Look at that. Ten beautiful, crisp
one-pound notes, all for you, Walter.
120
00:11:56,105 --> 00:12:00,463
Good job I'm not married. The wife
might have been doon that pocket!
121
00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:05,581
Now, Walter, did you bring it?
122
00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:07,784
Did you? Well, let's see it, then.
123
00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,337
Where is it? Oh!
124
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:14,583
He's brought it.
He has. His penny whistle!
125
00:12:17,992 --> 00:12:19,949
Walter, what ye gonna gie us?
126
00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:23,344
- A bit of Largo's Handel.
- Largo's Handel!
127
00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:27,951
Wonderful! All right, Walter boy,
128
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:30,345
it's all yours.
129
00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:40,469
"Largo's Handel"?
130
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,677
Is he trying to pinch my laughs?
Stupid old nit.
131
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,356
I've just laid out ten pounds,
put in a chit for ten guineas.
132
00:12:47,441 --> 00:12:50,879
- Chief accountant was in.
- Make it ten quid, then.
133
00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:04,637
There's a journalist, Mr... Dennis.
Wants to see you. Left his card.
134
00:13:04,727 --> 00:13:07,800
Not tonight. I'm too tired.
No journalists, thank you.
135
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,164
He's very tenacious and in front.
136
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:12,605
Is he? Well, good luck to him.
137
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:39,812
- Sonny!
- Sonny boy!
138
00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:43,415
I watch you on television.
I think you're so funny, mate.
139
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,457
I think he's lovely!
140
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:47,897
Please, could you put "To Freda"?
141
00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:49,938
Of course I can put "To Freda".
142
00:13:50,022 --> 00:13:53,698
- God bless you, Sonny boy.
- God bless you, Ma!
143
00:13:53,783 --> 00:13:55,740
Phone me. Chelsea 1234.
144
00:13:55,824 --> 00:13:58,942
- Could you put "To Mavis"?
- I'm sorry, dear. No.
145
00:13:59,025 --> 00:14:02,463
Mr MacGregor? My name's Dennis.
I sent you my card.
146
00:14:02,547 --> 00:14:04,697
Oh, yes. I'm sorry, I've no time.
147
00:14:04,787 --> 00:14:09,225
If I mentioned a property in
Eastwich, could we have a quiet chat?
148
00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:13,462
Yes.
149
00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:16,145
Look, he signed his name on my hand.
150
00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:39,988
I rather care for the bit
about the star who loves slumming.
151
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,831
So true.
152
00:14:42,919 --> 00:14:46,800
Look, just because
I own a little property...
153
00:14:46,881 --> 00:14:48,838
Oh! But what a property.
154
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:53,792
I doubt that the old folk living
in those hovels love their landlord.
155
00:14:53,884 --> 00:14:57,400
If they found out
that it's Wee Sonny MacGregor...
156
00:15:02,046 --> 00:15:04,686
But I... I haven't got �10,000.
157
00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:09,797
Spoken like a true Scot,
but where's the bonny accent gone?
158
00:15:09,889 --> 00:15:13,007
Yes...
What a nice little house this is.
159
00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:15,082
My home's a leaky Thames barge.
160
00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:18,447
- I can't wait to settle down myself.
- Listen, man...
161
00:15:18,531 --> 00:15:20,762
I'll not plead for myself.
162
00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:25,052
I just want you to cast a thought
for those thousands of old folk,
163
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:27,490
poor, friendless old folk.
164
00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:31,808
You see, they look up to me
as their guide and comforter.
165
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:34,330
Right. I'll cast a thought for them,
166
00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:37,215
and you'll cast around
for the 10,000, hmm?
167
00:15:38,298 --> 00:15:40,813
Don't bother to consult your lawyers.
168
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:44,131
I've consulted three.
They all say that it's foolproof.
169
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:47,896
Take your choice. Pay in a fortnight
or I publish in a month.
170
00:15:47,982 --> 00:15:50,131
Don't bother to kick me out.
171
00:16:00,145 --> 00:16:02,899
- Don't bite your nails.
- Ah, shut up.
172
00:16:02,986 --> 00:16:04,943
Mind your manners.
173
00:16:05,027 --> 00:16:08,258
Well, you have got yourself
into a proper pickle.
174
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:11,705
- You've been listening again.
- I'm only trying to help.
175
00:16:11,789 --> 00:16:13,746
Go on. Say it. Say it.
176
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:16,185
- I'm fired again, aren't I?
- Yes!
177
00:16:16,271 --> 00:16:19,548
We can both start looking
for another appointment.
178
00:16:19,632 --> 00:16:23,910
It's the end of Wee Sonny MacGregor.
Don't bite your nails.
179
00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:34,588
Mr Chairman,
ladies and gentlemen,
180
00:16:34,677 --> 00:16:39,958
pray silence for that wizard
of the perfect crime, D Mandeville.
181
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,636
Mr Chairman, ladies and gentlemen,
182
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:51,236
contrary to a widespread rumour,
183
00:16:51,322 --> 00:16:53,678
I am a woman.
184
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:59,599
The fact that I write of detection,
crime and sudden death
185
00:16:59,684 --> 00:17:02,438
and prefer the title of D Mandeville
186
00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:05,644
to that of my own name
of Desiree Minsch
187
00:17:05,727 --> 00:17:09,767
is probably responsible
for this misconception.
188
00:17:12,049 --> 00:17:14,564
We are gathered here
for the presentation
189
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:17,687
of the annual Purity Prize
for Literature.
190
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,844
Flora is read
by the highest and lowest,
191
00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:23,891
the youngest and oldest in the land.
192
00:17:23,973 --> 00:17:30,574
Never has this coveted award
been more deservedly won.
193
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:32,850
Hear, hear!
194
00:17:32,935 --> 00:17:39,286
In addition to winning this prize,
Flora herself has also been won
195
00:17:39,378 --> 00:17:43,292
and will shortly
be embracing the church.
196
00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:45,735
Good old Daddy Batty.
197
00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:49,534
Flora, rise and get it.
198
00:17:56,784 --> 00:18:00,334
Ladies and gentlemen,
I do not deserve this.
199
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,822
All I can say is...
this is the happiest...
200
00:18:09,908 --> 00:18:12,217
the happiest...
201
00:18:12,829 --> 00:18:15,390
Flora!
202
00:18:18,471 --> 00:18:23,944
- I confess I am greatly disturbed.
- So am I, Daddy Batty.
203
00:18:24,032 --> 00:18:26,183
She has something on her mind.
204
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,993
I haven't worked in
a nursing home for all these years
205
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:32,112
without knowing when someone is...
well, on the brink.
206
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,232
Quite. Quite.
207
00:18:39,438 --> 00:18:42,748
- What are you whispering about?
- Nothing, my dear.
208
00:18:42,838 --> 00:18:46,674
I was just saying that
that window ought to have a railing.
209
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,197
I don't want any questions.
It was an accident.
210
00:18:50,281 --> 00:18:52,557
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
211
00:18:52,642 --> 00:18:57,320
I'm sure you'd no more attempt
suicide than you'd contemplate...
212
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,520
- Murder?
- Precisely.
213
00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:03,518
Yes. I hope no one
would suspect me of that.
214
00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:07,043
Ethel, is that old trunk
still in the loft?
215
00:19:07,127 --> 00:19:10,803
I think so, Mumsie. Why?
Were you thinking of going away?
216
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,801
No... but somebody else may be.
217
00:19:20,411 --> 00:19:23,404
They could publish
and get away with it, eh? Oh.
218
00:19:24,493 --> 00:19:27,566
A good idea?!
It's absolutely scandalous!
219
00:19:27,654 --> 00:19:29,771
You lawyers ought to be shot.
220
00:19:29,855 --> 00:19:32,733
No, of course
I'm not being blackmailed.
221
00:19:32,815 --> 00:19:34,772
It's just that I'm being...
222
00:19:34,856 --> 00:19:36,812
It's... Oh, hell!
223
00:19:58,784 --> 00:20:01,299
Hello? Is that Nurse Hopkins?
224
00:20:02,385 --> 00:20:06,664
Lord Mayley here. I was just ringing
up to ask about my wife's father.
225
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,500
Yesterday, it was rather feared...
226
00:20:09,587 --> 00:20:11,544
Sitting up?
227
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,585
Remarkable.
228
00:20:13,669 --> 00:20:18,540
Oh! He's probably fit enough
to sign... I mean, read and write.
229
00:20:18,631 --> 00:20:21,430
He is? Oh, good.
Well, give him my regards.
230
00:20:22,672 --> 00:20:24,867
Ah, who was that?
231
00:20:24,952 --> 00:20:27,262
My stockbroker.
232
00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:31,347
Lucy, I just had a tip
for some shares.
233
00:20:31,435 --> 00:20:34,633
Do you think your father
might lend me some money?
234
00:20:34,716 --> 00:20:36,673
I'm absolutely sure...
235
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,713
he wouldn't.
236
00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:42,710
Blast!
237
00:20:42,798 --> 00:20:46,189
# When you flap-a-jack
a docker on a Saturday night
238
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,840
# You knock 'em down
the Old Kent Road
239
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,515
# When you flap-a-jack a docker
on a Saturday night
240
00:20:51,601 --> 00:20:54,514
# You knock 'em down
the Old Kent Road, hey! #
241
00:20:56,283 --> 00:21:00,277
Wonderful. What part of Birmingham
do you come from, Fred?
242
00:21:00,364 --> 00:21:03,641
I don't come from Birmingham.
I come from London.
243
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:06,001
He's a foreigner!
244
00:21:06,086 --> 00:21:10,798
- Wonderful. What part of London?
- Eastwich.
245
00:21:10,888 --> 00:21:14,598
- Eastwich?
- Yes. I never want to see it again.
246
00:21:14,688 --> 00:21:17,328
- Right, then. Fine.
- It's hell on earth.
247
00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:19,605
- You can have Eastwich.
- Shut up.
248
00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:22,728
- I just don't like it.
- Shut up about it!
249
00:21:22,811 --> 00:21:26,886
- I'm only voicing my opinion!
- Shut up about Eastwich!
250
00:21:26,973 --> 00:21:29,727
- Cut! Cut!
- Shut up!
251
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:44,331
'Mr MacGregor?
National News here... '
252
00:21:45,779 --> 00:21:48,340
You must do something
about yourself.
253
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:51,970
At this rate, you'll be finished
without Mr Dennis.
254
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:54,018
What can I do?
255
00:21:55,102 --> 00:21:57,059
I really don't know.
256
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:03,063
Push him under a bus. That's the way
to get rid of pests like that.
257
00:22:03,145 --> 00:22:06,660
That's just the sort
of stupid remark you would make.
258
00:22:06,745 --> 00:22:09,021
Me, who wouldn't hurt a fly.
259
00:22:09,106 --> 00:22:11,302
Who couldn't...
260
00:22:15,069 --> 00:22:17,220
I couldn't...
261
00:22:18,550 --> 00:22:20,701
but someone else might.
262
00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:22,987
- Who?
- Anyone.
263
00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:25,825
Any one of a thousand characters
that I can create
264
00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:28,586
and then destroy, just like that.
265
00:22:28,673 --> 00:22:32,588
- What are you going on about, Mr M?
- Murder, Potter. Murder.
266
00:22:32,675 --> 00:22:35,064
Murder by person or persons unknown,
267
00:22:35,156 --> 00:22:38,035
by someone who doesn't even exist,
a will-o'-the-wisp,
268
00:22:38,117 --> 00:22:41,189
murder by a figment
of my imagination.
269
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,553
Oh, no. No, you mustn't.
270
00:22:43,638 --> 00:22:45,709
You'd never get away with it.
271
00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:49,395
I can smile and murder while I smile.
272
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,278
Oh, dear.
273
00:22:51,361 --> 00:22:54,479
I'll drown more sailors
than the mermaids shall.
274
00:22:54,562 --> 00:22:58,681
- It's the Old Vic trouble, sir.
- I'll play the orator like Nestor,
275
00:22:58,763 --> 00:23:01,961
deceive more slyly
than Ulysses could
276
00:23:02,044 --> 00:23:05,481
and like a Sinon, take another Troy!
277
00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:09,724
What's a good make-up
to snoop around his barge?
278
00:23:09,807 --> 00:23:13,961
Mr M, the telly's one thing,
but real life's quite another.
279
00:23:14,049 --> 00:23:16,961
- You'd only go and overdo it.
- Why should I?
280
00:23:17,049 --> 00:23:19,006
- Because you always do.
- Charming.
281
00:23:19,090 --> 00:23:22,049
Frankly, you always overact
most dreadfully.
282
00:23:22,131 --> 00:23:25,283
- You'll be sorry you said that.
- All right, fire me again...
283
00:23:25,372 --> 00:23:28,046
but get this mad idea
out of your head.
284
00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:32,685
Too late, my friend. The die is cast.
285
00:24:00,984 --> 00:24:03,215
- Who is it?
- Miss Right.
286
00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:10,817
Well, this is an unexpected pleasure.
Do come in.
287
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:14,025
It is wiser to telephone.
Please sit down.
288
00:24:14,108 --> 00:24:16,065
Would you like a drink?
289
00:24:16,149 --> 00:24:19,665
I do hope this isn't an appeal
to my better nature.
290
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,106
- I haven't one.
- No.
291
00:24:24,231 --> 00:24:28,670
You might as well know,
my engagement's broken off.
292
00:24:28,753 --> 00:24:32,713
I'll never see Bill again, so it's
no good you going on blackmailing me
293
00:24:32,794 --> 00:24:35,355
because I haven't a penny
in the world.
294
00:24:35,435 --> 00:24:40,066
This is shocking news. But 16 Texan
oil wells shouldn't be thrown away.
295
00:24:40,156 --> 00:24:44,197
That doesn't matter.
You wouldn't understand.
296
00:24:45,278 --> 00:24:47,998
I really love him,
and I'm nobody without him,
297
00:24:48,079 --> 00:24:50,640
so, please, please, leave me alone.
298
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:55,352
I'm sorry, but it would still make
a good supporting feature.
299
00:24:55,442 --> 00:24:59,230
"Lurid past loses luckless model
Texan oil millions."
300
00:24:59,322 --> 00:25:01,962
Look, my dear.
301
00:25:02,044 --> 00:25:04,319
You'll be better off
trying to win him back
302
00:25:04,404 --> 00:25:06,361
than wasting your time and mine.
303
00:25:06,445 --> 00:25:08,516
What the d...?!
304
00:25:08,606 --> 00:25:12,965
- Sorry, sir.
- What are you doing here?
305
00:25:13,048 --> 00:25:16,040
I beg your pardon, sir,
for barging in.
306
00:25:16,128 --> 00:25:18,438
- Get out of here!
- I'm trying, sir.
307
00:25:18,529 --> 00:25:20,680
All right, I'll see that you do.
308
00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:22,921
Wait here a minute.
309
00:25:25,452 --> 00:25:27,408
MacGregor...
310
00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:31,842
What the devil are you doing?
311
00:25:37,775 --> 00:25:40,769
- Do you want to know who I am?
- Yes, I do.
312
00:25:40,857 --> 00:25:46,570
Well, sir, see, I'm from the London
Bureau of Boats, Barges, Brigs,
313
00:25:46,659 --> 00:25:51,097
all tethered bottoms and maintenance
of, sir... that's it.
314
00:25:51,180 --> 00:25:54,412
Maintenance? This place is condemned.
I'm the last one.
315
00:25:54,501 --> 00:25:57,221
Lucky you are.
If you've got wet rot on the top,
316
00:25:57,302 --> 00:25:59,259
you've got dry rot on the bottom.
317
00:25:59,343 --> 00:26:03,223
- What are you talking about?
- I'll show you. Look at that.
318
00:26:03,304 --> 00:26:05,261
- What...?
- Oh!
319
00:26:10,466 --> 00:26:14,427
I'll see what I can do.
I'll put my report in...
320
00:26:14,508 --> 00:26:17,706
and I'll try and get them
before they close.
321
00:26:17,789 --> 00:26:21,066
I haven't got a cork with me,
so I'll be back later...
322
00:26:21,150 --> 00:26:24,666
Terrible thing, you've got there.
Dreadful thing, that.
323
00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:27,312
Terrible mess you've got there,
terrible mess.
324
00:26:29,232 --> 00:26:32,111
- Madam?
- Some knock-out drops, please.
325
00:26:32,193 --> 00:26:34,389
- Some...?
- Knock-out drops.
326
00:26:34,474 --> 00:26:37,627
- You want a pick-me-up?
- If I did, I would say so.
327
00:26:37,716 --> 00:26:41,994
No, quite the reverse. Knock-out
drops. Surely you've heard of them?
328
00:26:42,076 --> 00:26:44,910
- For knocking out what?
- People. Who else?
329
00:26:44,997 --> 00:26:49,356
- You mean a sleeping draught.
- I suppose so, but instantaneous.
330
00:26:49,439 --> 00:26:52,193
My dear madam,
you're asking for a Mickey Finn.
331
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,636
- Am I?
- We have a mild soporific here,
332
00:26:54,721 --> 00:26:56,678
if you're sleeping badly.
333
00:26:56,762 --> 00:27:01,439
I'm sleeping perfectly well,
thank you. Mickey Finn... Mickey...
334
00:27:01,523 --> 00:27:03,674
Thank you very much.
335
00:27:04,844 --> 00:27:10,159
Desiree, you are the expert on crime,
how would one obtain a Mickey Finn?
336
00:27:10,246 --> 00:27:14,957
Well, I get all dope on drugs from
a little crook called Maury Fish.
337
00:27:15,047 --> 00:27:18,245
He hangs around in a pub
called the Limehouse Arms.
338
00:27:18,328 --> 00:27:21,481
The Limehouse Arms?
Thank you very much.
339
00:27:36,534 --> 00:27:38,844
- Yes?
- Gin and...
340
00:27:38,935 --> 00:27:41,006
Port and lemon, please.
341
00:27:42,257 --> 00:27:44,613
- Thank you.
- One and six.
342
00:27:48,338 --> 00:27:50,773
- You know Maury Fish?
- Why?
343
00:27:50,859 --> 00:27:54,409
I want some Mickey Finns.
The real McCoy, mac.
344
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:58,415
- What for?
- Ask no questions, eh?
345
00:27:59,903 --> 00:28:01,859
Wait here.
346
00:28:03,664 --> 00:28:04,938
Hello.
347
00:28:13,027 --> 00:28:14,904
Good evening, boys.
348
00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:17,024
- Have you got the stuff?
- What stuff?
349
00:28:17,108 --> 00:28:20,021
- The Mickey Finns.
- What do you want 'em for?
350
00:28:20,109 --> 00:28:23,261
- Ask no questions, eh?
- I'm afraid it's our duty, madam.
351
00:28:23,350 --> 00:28:26,900
We're police officers. Come along.
352
00:29:13,966 --> 00:29:17,438
My dear Lord Mayley!
This is an unexpected pleasure.
353
00:29:17,528 --> 00:29:19,484
Laden with good news, I trust?
354
00:29:19,568 --> 00:29:23,882
- Yes... and no.
- Ah... Hmm...
355
00:29:26,491 --> 00:29:29,165
I'm willing to pay
but the point is this -
356
00:29:29,252 --> 00:29:32,130
my wife's rich father
is on his last legs.
357
00:29:32,212 --> 00:29:33,965
- So?
- He won't last a year.
358
00:29:34,053 --> 00:29:36,363
She'll get the lot,
I shall be able to extract.
359
00:29:36,454 --> 00:29:38,605
A year?
I gave you two weeks, remember?
360
00:29:38,695 --> 00:29:42,166
- Yes but �10,000...
- You're an insurance chief.
361
00:29:42,256 --> 00:29:44,817
- You earn a lot.
- My wife spends a lot.
362
00:29:44,897 --> 00:29:47,253
- If there's any left, I spend it.
- Too bad.
363
00:29:47,338 --> 00:29:50,057
I don't know where
I'm going to get �10,000.
364
00:29:50,138 --> 00:29:52,812
- You can do it. I have faith in you.
- You...
365
00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:56,216
- You what?
- You sw... ine!
366
00:29:57,541 --> 00:30:01,138
- Help! Help!
- Hold on! Don't panic!
367
00:30:01,223 --> 00:30:03,863
Don't panic?! I can't swim!
368
00:30:03,944 --> 00:30:08,142
Help! Help!
369
00:30:21,790 --> 00:30:24,019
What the devil are you doing here?
370
00:30:24,109 --> 00:30:27,899
Day and night service. I reported
your leaky bottom for you.
371
00:30:27,991 --> 00:30:30,142
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
372
00:30:30,232 --> 00:30:33,225
Take him home.
He's a valued friend of mine.
373
00:30:33,313 --> 00:30:35,703
- Aye, aye, sir.
- Home to a hot drink.
374
00:30:35,794 --> 00:30:39,231
We don't want you getting pneumonia.
Good night.
375
00:30:39,315 --> 00:30:41,704
Good night, sir.
Come along, my darling.
376
00:30:41,795 --> 00:30:43,752
Don't call me darling!
377
00:30:43,836 --> 00:30:47,990
I'm sorry. I should have thanked you
for saving my life.
378
00:30:52,439 --> 00:30:54,829
Half a crown?
379
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,958
It ain't worth it.
I'd have done it for a tanner.
380
00:31:00,322 --> 00:31:02,883
Your moustache...
381
00:31:02,963 --> 00:31:06,923
Oh, yes, sir.
I got the creeping alopecia, sir.
382
00:31:07,004 --> 00:31:10,715
It crept all over my lip,
it did, sir. Yes, sir.
383
00:31:15,566 --> 00:31:17,842
- Fetch Mrs Ransom.
- Yes, sir.
384
00:31:17,927 --> 00:31:22,764
I'm sure Mrs Ransom was after local
colour for one of her romances.
385
00:31:22,849 --> 00:31:24,602
Local colour is one thing.
386
00:31:24,690 --> 00:31:27,330
Asking a publican for a Mickey Finn
is another.
387
00:31:27,411 --> 00:31:30,926
- I don't know Mr Finn.
- Knock-out drops, sir. Drugs.
388
00:31:31,011 --> 00:31:32,809
Oh, my goodness!
389
00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:36,887
Then hurling abuse at a police
officer, and giving a false name.
390
00:31:36,974 --> 00:31:39,728
- "Lotus Blossom."
- Good gracious.
391
00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:42,171
- She had been drinking.
- Oh, never.
392
00:31:42,256 --> 00:31:44,407
No, Mumsie is totally teetotal.
393
00:31:44,497 --> 00:31:47,058
She was on
port and lemon tonight, miss.
394
00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:52,259
Well, I'm sure she's very sorry
indeed. She's been under stress...
395
00:31:52,339 --> 00:31:54,295
I shall write to my MP!
396
00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:57,817
You haven't heard the last of this,
not by a long chalk!
397
00:31:57,901 --> 00:31:59,858
- Flora!
- Sit down.
398
00:31:59,942 --> 00:32:05,415
Masquerading as civilians. That oaf
who arrested me hadn't even shaved!
399
00:32:05,503 --> 00:32:08,780
Madam, nobody has arrested you.
Now please go home.
400
00:32:08,864 --> 00:32:12,620
If you want to know anything
about crime, ask the police.
401
00:32:12,706 --> 00:32:15,699
Very well, then.
Where would I get a Mickey Finn?
402
00:32:17,147 --> 00:32:19,104
I haven't the faintest idea.
403
00:32:19,188 --> 00:32:21,464
There you are, you see? Come, Cedric.
404
00:32:21,549 --> 00:32:25,668
What are you waiting for?
Come along. Ethel, come on!
405
00:32:28,831 --> 00:32:32,108
Sergeant,
where would one get a Mickey Finn?
406
00:32:32,192 --> 00:32:34,753
I haven't the faintest idea, sir.
407
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,837
Good evening.
408
00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:03,390
Must you keep jumping out?
409
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:06,441
You seem to have jumped in.
What on earth...?
410
00:33:06,523 --> 00:33:09,676
- I... I got caught in a storm.
- It hasn't been raining.
411
00:33:09,765 --> 00:33:12,917
It was raining where I was.
Cats and dogs.
412
00:33:13,006 --> 00:33:16,282
- And mud, I see.
- Yes, I must brush that off.
413
00:33:16,366 --> 00:33:19,325
By the way, one of your girls
has been telephoning.
414
00:33:19,407 --> 00:33:22,481
Really? Which one?
I mean... What do you mean?
415
00:33:22,569 --> 00:33:25,767
She had a twangy voice
and refused to give her name.
416
00:33:25,850 --> 00:33:29,048
- Never heard of her.
- You will. She's in trouble.
417
00:33:30,971 --> 00:33:33,770
Impossible. It must be a mistake.
418
00:33:41,855 --> 00:33:45,770
A bomb... Yes, a bomb would do it.
419
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:49,293
A bomb would blow him and his records
and the barge to kingdom come,
420
00:33:49,377 --> 00:33:51,494
yet it wouldn't hurt anyone else.
421
00:33:51,578 --> 00:33:55,254
Yes. But where do we get a bomb from?
422
00:33:55,339 --> 00:33:59,175
Well, if you only want a little one
you'd have to go to Ireland.
423
00:34:00,221 --> 00:34:05,057
Honestly! Bomb, indeed. Get
the whole mad idea out of your head.
424
00:34:06,823 --> 00:34:09,657
Ireland... That's it!
425
00:34:09,744 --> 00:34:11,701
Ireland!
426
00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:16,178
You remember that old villain at
the Dublin show. He was still at it.
427
00:34:16,267 --> 00:34:20,420
Get me a sprig of that stuff they
wear in the buttonhole. What is it?
428
00:34:20,508 --> 00:34:23,466
- Shillelagh.
- No, shamrock, you twit.
429
00:34:24,029 --> 00:34:28,342
And book me on the first plane
to Dublin in the morning, right?
430
00:34:38,674 --> 00:34:41,063
Henry? Henry?
431
00:34:41,154 --> 00:34:44,626
Please don't ask any more questions
about that storm.
432
00:34:44,716 --> 00:34:47,550
An orphan of the storm
has just arrived.
433
00:34:47,637 --> 00:34:49,708
- What?
- Your girl.
434
00:34:49,798 --> 00:34:53,997
Look, I keep telling you,
I haven't got a girl.
435
00:34:54,079 --> 00:34:57,037
- What's she like?
- Oh, about 40.
436
00:34:57,119 --> 00:34:59,315
I thought you said she was a girl.
437
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,031
- I wasn't referring to her age.
- Eh? Oh.
438
00:35:03,122 --> 00:35:07,241
Poor Henry.
It never rains but it pours, hmm?
439
00:35:24,129 --> 00:35:26,519
I've never seen her before.
It's a lie.
440
00:35:26,610 --> 00:35:29,079
- What?
- Whatever she says I've done.
441
00:35:29,171 --> 00:35:33,369
- Oughtn't you go and find out?
- Yes, I jolly well will.
442
00:35:33,451 --> 00:35:37,128
And be careful. You might fall.
443
00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:47,654
- Good evening. Did you want me?
- I'm sorry to come like this.
444
00:35:47,736 --> 00:35:51,093
I know you've done something
dreadful, too,
445
00:35:51,177 --> 00:35:53,453
but you needn't pay a penny.
446
00:35:56,499 --> 00:36:00,494
- What are you talking about?
- That beastly Dennis.
447
00:36:00,581 --> 00:36:02,538
Come here, will you?
448
00:36:08,383 --> 00:36:12,901
...and there were magazines on Sonny
MacGregor and a lady called Ransom.
449
00:36:12,985 --> 00:36:16,661
Now I've nothing to lose,
I'm going to expose everything.
450
00:36:16,746 --> 00:36:18,499
- To whom?
- To the police.
451
00:36:18,587 --> 00:36:21,341
You may have nothing to lose
but other people have.
452
00:36:21,428 --> 00:36:25,661
- You don't want to pay him, do you?
- I have my reputation to think of.
453
00:36:25,749 --> 00:36:29,459
I can't discuss this with you here.
It's most embarrassing.
454
00:36:29,550 --> 00:36:31,621
I'll come and see you tomorrow...
455
00:36:31,711 --> 00:36:35,102
I can't. I've got a board meeting
and a charity dance.
456
00:36:35,192 --> 00:36:39,311
I'll come the day after tomorrow.
Until then, expose nothing.
457
00:36:39,393 --> 00:36:43,866
- Where do you live, by the way?
- 54, Chillingdon Court. You know it?
458
00:36:43,955 --> 00:36:47,266
Yes, I used to have...
Day after tomorrow.
459
00:36:50,477 --> 00:36:54,074
- Ah-ah. This way. The firm will...
- The firm?!
460
00:36:54,159 --> 00:36:57,390
Yes, the firm will try
to straighten out matters.
461
00:36:57,479 --> 00:37:01,110
- We will try and find the man.
- Dennis? But I know...
462
00:37:01,201 --> 00:37:05,400
Do nothing till you hear from me.
12:30, the day after tomorrow.
463
00:37:06,483 --> 00:37:08,599
Phew!
464
00:37:08,683 --> 00:37:11,323
54... 54...
465
00:37:11,404 --> 00:37:15,193
Darling...
Shall I jot it down for you?
466
00:37:15,285 --> 00:37:17,242
No!
467
00:37:31,970 --> 00:37:34,725
A drop o' the hard stuff, please.
468
00:37:34,812 --> 00:37:36,768
Right away.
469
00:37:36,852 --> 00:37:40,210
- Three and six, please.
- Right, right, right...
470
00:37:40,294 --> 00:37:42,250
- There.
- Thank you.
471
00:37:42,334 --> 00:37:46,727
# 'Tis the shamrock in her hair
that reminds me of Killarney
472
00:37:46,816 --> 00:37:50,173
# And the little people
standing in a row
473
00:37:50,257 --> 00:37:52,213
# And... #
474
00:37:52,297 --> 00:37:54,528
God bless all here.
475
00:37:55,299 --> 00:38:00,249
#... the boys on the stalls
and the people of Killarney... #
476
00:38:02,821 --> 00:38:06,053
My name's Lannegan.
I'm from across the water.
477
00:38:06,142 --> 00:38:10,102
You'll be O'Toole, and it's
right glad that I am to meet you.
478
00:38:21,108 --> 00:38:24,657
I'm descended from the kings
in the halls of Tara.
479
00:38:24,748 --> 00:38:27,627
It's like this.
We're doing a job in London.
480
00:38:27,709 --> 00:38:31,180
'Tis the Albert Hall at all,
and we've run out of the jelly.
481
00:38:34,792 --> 00:38:39,309
So, if you're letting me have some
gelignite, I'll be doing the job.
482
00:38:43,514 --> 00:38:48,271
But why are we talking in the cursed
tongue, when we have the Gaelic?
483
00:38:48,356 --> 00:38:51,508
Oh... Llanfairpwllgwyngyll...
484
00:38:51,597 --> 00:38:53,714
gogerychwyrndrobwll...
485
00:38:53,798 --> 00:38:57,155
Ilantysiliogogogoch.
486
00:38:59,039 --> 00:39:01,156
He's an Englishman, all right.
487
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:02,993
Ah! My nose.
488
00:39:03,081 --> 00:39:05,232
His nose has all gone!
489
00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:10,322
F...
490
00:39:10,404 --> 00:39:13,476
F-A... F-A...
491
00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:15,317
F-A-R...
492
00:39:18,366 --> 00:39:22,565
F-I... Fist... Fistula... Flat...
493
00:39:22,647 --> 00:39:24,764
Ethel, how do you spell Finn?
494
00:39:24,848 --> 00:39:27,363
- What? A fishy fin?
- No, a Mickey Finn.
495
00:39:27,449 --> 00:39:30,009
Oh, Mumsie.
You and these Mickey Finns.
496
00:39:30,089 --> 00:39:33,766
I'll have no peace until I get one
from the nursing home.
497
00:39:33,851 --> 00:39:35,808
What did you say?
498
00:39:35,892 --> 00:39:38,805
The doctors use them
on the violent patients.
499
00:39:38,893 --> 00:39:42,204
Why didn't you say?
Why didn't I think of it?
500
00:39:42,294 --> 00:39:46,448
- Get me some. Plenty of them.
- Mumsie, I was only joking.
501
00:39:46,536 --> 00:39:50,051
Wait! Sit down.
502
00:39:51,377 --> 00:39:55,053
Ethel, I have something
very important to tell you.
503
00:39:56,138 --> 00:40:00,179
You know how much
my reputation as a writer
504
00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:03,173
and as a woman means to me.
505
00:40:03,261 --> 00:40:07,096
You're loved and respected
the whole world over, Mumsie.
506
00:40:07,182 --> 00:40:09,138
Till now, yes.
507
00:40:09,222 --> 00:40:14,344
Ethel, many years ago,
your father was in China.
508
00:40:15,425 --> 00:40:19,214
Money was short.
I was young, beautiful.
509
00:40:19,306 --> 00:40:21,422
It was easy, and so was...
510
00:40:23,187 --> 00:40:25,304
I fell by the wayside.
511
00:40:26,268 --> 00:40:29,579
So, you slipped, darling.
So do tons of people.
512
00:40:29,669 --> 00:40:31,626
You found your feet again.
513
00:40:31,710 --> 00:40:35,068
For some months,
I lost my head completely.
514
00:40:35,152 --> 00:40:38,111
Ethel, suppose someone found out
515
00:40:38,193 --> 00:40:41,742
and was threatening to expose me
to the world.
516
00:40:41,833 --> 00:40:44,029
What would you say?
517
00:40:44,114 --> 00:40:46,424
I... I'd want to kill him, Mumsie.
518
00:40:46,515 --> 00:40:49,269
Splendid. That's exactly
what we're going to do.
519
00:40:49,356 --> 00:40:51,632
- Mumsie!
- I have it all worked out.
520
00:40:51,717 --> 00:40:54,710
- I've recced his barge.
- Wrecked his barge?!
521
00:40:54,798 --> 00:40:57,266
No, Reconnoitred.
He lives on a barge.
522
00:40:57,358 --> 00:40:59,315
- But, Mumsie...
- Shh!
523
00:40:59,399 --> 00:41:04,953
Hello? Are you that Dennis creature?
This is Flora Ransom here.
524
00:41:05,041 --> 00:41:10,071
I have your money. Come and
collect it at 7:30 tomorrow night.
525
00:41:11,804 --> 00:41:15,433
Now, you get the pills,
I'll prepare the trunk.
526
00:41:17,165 --> 00:41:21,398
"Solder wire to hole marked Z."
527
00:41:25,728 --> 00:41:27,879
And that's that.
528
00:41:29,170 --> 00:41:31,319
- Wonderful.
- Whatever's that?
529
00:41:31,409 --> 00:41:34,767
That, my friend,
is the bomb completed.
530
00:41:36,491 --> 00:41:38,767
Now for the gunpowder.
531
00:41:38,852 --> 00:41:43,006
Get out my Indian army colonel
with the overdraft clothes.
532
00:41:49,055 --> 00:41:51,411
Mr MacGregor? My name is Lord Mayley.
533
00:41:51,496 --> 00:41:53,613
- Yes?
- We haven't met before
534
00:41:53,697 --> 00:41:56,258
but you're said to be
a very decent sort.
535
00:41:56,338 --> 00:41:58,807
- You're very kind.
- I'm sure you agree
536
00:41:58,899 --> 00:42:00,856
that we should help each other.
537
00:42:00,940 --> 00:42:03,774
- How much do you want?
- No, I want to help you.
538
00:42:03,861 --> 00:42:07,251
Mr MacGregor,
if I mentioned the name Dennis,
539
00:42:07,341 --> 00:42:10,095
and that I know
that you're being "B"-ed...
540
00:42:10,182 --> 00:42:12,572
- "B"-ed?
- Well, blackmailed.
541
00:42:13,624 --> 00:42:17,334
- Look, may I come in?
- Wee Sonny MacGregor blackmailed?
542
00:42:17,425 --> 00:42:21,704
- I think you're mistaken.
- You're wondering why I'm here.
543
00:42:21,786 --> 00:42:25,940
I know why you're here, friend.
You're being "B"-ed, too.
544
00:42:26,028 --> 00:42:29,385
- No, I'm a complete outsider.
- I wouldn't say that.
545
00:42:29,469 --> 00:42:32,826
Please, let me explain.
A young lady came to see me...
546
00:42:32,910 --> 00:42:36,905
You're a lucky fellow.
Good luck to you, sir, and good day.
547
00:42:38,391 --> 00:42:40,860
- Mr MacGregor?
- Go away.
548
00:42:40,952 --> 00:42:42,909
You'll regret this.
549
00:42:49,996 --> 00:42:52,670
- How did he find out?
- I don't know.
550
00:42:52,757 --> 00:42:56,591
Why didn't you let him talk?
He obviously wanted an ally.
551
00:42:56,677 --> 00:42:58,634
The more friends we have now...
552
00:42:58,718 --> 00:43:02,633
Make an ally of that idiot?
No, thank you. I'll rely on my bomb.
553
00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:05,394
And now... for the gunpowder.
554
00:43:16,444 --> 00:43:20,075
Bill! Oh, Bill!
555
00:43:20,166 --> 00:43:22,122
Honey!
556
00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:38,085
Oh, no! We don't want any today.
557
00:43:39,172 --> 00:43:42,927
- Don't want any what?
- I don't know who you are.
558
00:43:43,013 --> 00:43:45,608
- Go away!
- Of course you know who I am.
559
00:43:45,694 --> 00:43:49,768
- I don't! Go away!
- But you asked me here!
560
00:43:49,855 --> 00:43:53,975
You haven't forgotten the other
night? You got me out of bed!
561
00:43:54,057 --> 00:43:55,809
Well, didn't you?
562
00:43:55,897 --> 00:43:59,209
Don't, Bill. No! Bill!
563
00:43:59,299 --> 00:44:03,054
Don't, please, Bill!
Bill, please! Don't!
564
00:44:03,820 --> 00:44:07,609
Please... Bill! Please, come here!
565
00:44:09,102 --> 00:44:13,938
All right. All right. I'll leave him
alone, and I'll tell you for why.
566
00:44:14,023 --> 00:44:17,301
We're through! Finished!
Finito! Understand?
567
00:44:24,747 --> 00:44:26,703
Good afternoon, sir.
568
00:44:26,787 --> 00:44:29,177
Good afternoon.
569
00:44:29,268 --> 00:44:32,626
I'm having a day's rough shooting
and want some bullets.
570
00:44:32,710 --> 00:44:36,147
Cartridges? Certainly, sir.
Any particular make?
571
00:44:36,231 --> 00:44:39,462
No, as long
as they've got gunpowder in them.
572
00:44:39,551 --> 00:44:42,385
- What bore?
- Boar?
573
00:44:42,473 --> 00:44:46,752
No, no. A few rabbits, pheasants,
small fry, you know.
574
00:44:46,834 --> 00:44:49,907
No, no, sir. Bore. B-O-R-E.
575
00:44:49,995 --> 00:44:52,989
Bore!
576
00:44:53,077 --> 00:44:55,910
- Hmm?
- 12, 20 or 4-10?
577
00:44:56,957 --> 00:44:59,313
Er... Definitely, yes.
578
00:44:59,398 --> 00:45:01,355
Well, which, sir?
579
00:45:01,439 --> 00:45:04,000
Well, the largest you have, surely.
580
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:06,356
12-bore. How many, sir? 50?
581
00:45:06,441 --> 00:45:10,230
No, I think you'd better make it
a thousand.
582
00:45:10,322 --> 00:45:12,438
- A thousand?!
- Yes.
583
00:45:12,522 --> 00:45:15,083
But didn't you say
a day's rough shooting?
584
00:45:15,163 --> 00:45:19,556
Yes, I did, er...
and it may be pretty rough.
585
00:45:19,645 --> 00:45:24,323
On second thoughts, I think you'd
better make it 1,500, perhaps?
586
00:45:30,888 --> 00:45:33,198
Right. That's whisky, gin, sherry,
587
00:45:33,289 --> 00:45:35,850
tea, coffee, cocoa -
all Mickey Finned.
588
00:45:35,930 --> 00:45:38,320
He's bound to accept one
or the other.
589
00:45:38,411 --> 00:45:42,850
Mumsie. Oh, Mumsie!
This is stark-staring murder!
590
00:45:42,933 --> 00:45:46,290
Remember, before you pop him in,
you must take his keys.
591
00:45:47,014 --> 00:45:50,724
But why should I have to do
all the dirty work?
592
00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:53,774
He'd never take a drink from me.
He'd suspect foul play!
593
00:45:53,856 --> 00:45:57,976
- I shall be hung!
- It's "hanged", and you won't be.
594
00:45:58,058 --> 00:45:59,616
Oh, Mumsie!
595
00:45:59,698 --> 00:46:04,295
I'll go by the service stairs
to avoid him. Is everything clear?
596
00:46:04,379 --> 00:46:06,940
Good.
I'll be in the car at the front.
597
00:46:07,020 --> 00:46:10,776
The moment he falls insensible,
signal from the window.
598
00:46:10,862 --> 00:46:14,981
You'll have a lot to answer for.
599
00:46:15,063 --> 00:46:18,660
- Mumsie!
- It won't be long now. Chin up.
600
00:46:18,745 --> 00:46:21,339
Chin up... Oh!
601
00:46:25,947 --> 00:46:29,304
It's... Mumsie, she...
602
00:46:47,994 --> 00:46:49,951
Ohh...
603
00:47:02,079 --> 00:47:04,719
Oh. Mrs... Miss Ransom?
604
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,554
Are you alone? May I come in?
605
00:47:16,923 --> 00:47:18,960
Charming. Charming.
606
00:47:19,044 --> 00:47:22,196
- Going away?
- No. No.
607
00:47:23,686 --> 00:47:26,645
Yes, Miss Ransom... Hello.
608
00:47:26,727 --> 00:47:28,684
Excuse me.
609
00:47:28,768 --> 00:47:33,399
Mrs Ransom, if I mentioned the name
"Dennis" and the word "blackmail",
610
00:47:33,489 --> 00:47:35,799
would this mean anything to you?
611
00:47:35,890 --> 00:47:39,600
Yes? Splendid. What I want to know
is are you going to pay him,
612
00:47:39,691 --> 00:47:41,762
or are you going to fight?
613
00:47:41,852 --> 00:47:43,809
I don't know.
614
00:47:43,893 --> 00:47:46,805
Would you like a drug...?
A Mick...? A drink?
615
00:47:46,893 --> 00:47:49,647
- Yes, I think I would.
- Please.
616
00:47:49,734 --> 00:47:51,691
Wh... Wh...
617
00:47:52,615 --> 00:47:55,449
- What would you like?
- Anything, thanks.
618
00:47:55,536 --> 00:47:57,812
Other than tomato juice, of course.
619
00:47:57,897 --> 00:48:01,448
You know, Mrs Ransom,
this is a great relief to me.
620
00:48:01,539 --> 00:48:03,769
First, I'd like to introduce...
621
00:48:03,859 --> 00:48:07,409
Whoa! Just a minute.
You'll have me passing out.
622
00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:09,731
Could I have a little soda, please?
623
00:48:09,821 --> 00:48:13,132
Thank you. Your very good health.
624
00:48:15,423 --> 00:48:18,018
Mmm! I needed that.
625
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:22,064
Well, Mrs Ransom, we now come
to rather a delicate question.
626
00:48:22,145 --> 00:48:26,185
If the threat of publication
is genuine, we...
627
00:48:29,628 --> 00:48:31,380
I say...
628
00:48:38,070 --> 00:48:40,027
Oh, dear.
629
00:49:19,124 --> 00:49:23,563
What, inside already?
Bravo! Well done. Keys?
630
00:49:23,646 --> 00:49:27,003
- Come along. Best foot forward.
- Oh, Mumsie. No.
631
00:49:27,087 --> 00:49:31,400
We can't leave him in there.
He'll suffocate before we drown him.
632
00:49:31,488 --> 00:49:34,481
No, it must look like suicide
or an accident.
633
00:49:34,569 --> 00:49:37,368
One, two, three... Go!
634
00:49:37,450 --> 00:49:39,407
That's the way.
635
00:49:47,173 --> 00:49:52,090
- Good evening, Mrs Ransom.
- Constable Johnson, give us a hand.
636
00:49:52,175 --> 00:49:54,531
- Somebody going away?
- Yes.
637
00:49:54,616 --> 00:49:57,689
- What's in here? A body?
- Yes! How did you guess?
638
00:49:57,777 --> 00:50:01,453
- My daughter murdered him.
- Poisoned or suffocated?
639
00:50:01,538 --> 00:50:04,690
- Both, I'm afraid.
- Very funny.
640
00:50:04,779 --> 00:50:07,738
- Why did you do it?
- He was blackmailing Mumsie...
641
00:50:07,820 --> 00:50:11,416
- Ethel! Good night, Constable.
- Good night.
642
00:50:19,624 --> 00:50:22,013
Once he's in the pond,
we'll go to the barge
643
00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:24,141
and destroy the cabinet's contents.
644
00:50:24,225 --> 00:50:27,696
- Can't we do it without killing him?
- Of course not.
645
00:50:27,786 --> 00:50:30,825
He'd just hide himself away
and write it all over again.
646
00:50:30,908 --> 00:50:34,948
Of course we must kill him.
Whoops! Steady. We mustn't hurt him.
647
00:51:10,281 --> 00:51:12,511
Come along, Ethel. Give us a hand.
648
00:51:12,601 --> 00:51:15,958
Come along!
We'll tip him out from here.
649
00:51:18,683 --> 00:51:22,155
Come along, Ethel. Right. Up. There!
650
00:51:23,685 --> 00:51:26,200
Give him a pull. Come on.
651
00:51:33,008 --> 00:51:37,845
Botheration! He's stuck. You'll have
to launch him! Come along, Ethel!
652
00:51:45,333 --> 00:51:47,927
Shh! You'll wake him! Shh!
653
00:51:48,013 --> 00:51:50,163
Hurry, girl. Hurry!
654
00:52:12,341 --> 00:52:15,891
Right, strap the trunk. Come along.
655
00:52:15,982 --> 00:52:21,057
- He looked so happy. So happy!
- Splendid. Then everybody is.
656
00:52:21,143 --> 00:52:23,898
Last lap. The barge. Come along.
657
00:53:04,078 --> 00:53:06,309
Darling...
658
00:53:06,399 --> 00:53:08,550
What's the time, darling?
659
00:53:14,401 --> 00:53:16,916
Help! Help! Where am I!
660
00:53:19,683 --> 00:53:21,640
My goodness! Where am I?
661
00:54:04,298 --> 00:54:08,372
- The silly chump. He didn't lock it.
- Don't speak ill of the dead.
662
00:54:08,459 --> 00:54:11,020
Come on. There it is. Come on.
663
00:54:13,301 --> 00:54:16,214
Careful. This is it.
Come on. Lift it.
664
00:54:21,343 --> 00:54:25,657
Careful. You'll have it
bursting all over the place.
665
00:54:25,745 --> 00:54:27,702
Come on!
666
00:54:32,187 --> 00:54:35,226
Do you realise
that the contents of this cabinet
667
00:54:35,309 --> 00:54:38,142
could rock London to its foundations?
668
00:54:38,229 --> 00:54:41,222
And provide
very interesting reading, too!
669
00:55:41,090 --> 00:55:43,241
Oh, Henry?
670
00:55:43,331 --> 00:55:46,368
- Oh, my heart!
- Yes, that's the trouble.
671
00:55:47,452 --> 00:55:51,526
Another storm? No... Seaweed.
672
00:55:51,613 --> 00:55:54,731
That's it. That's it.
Yes, I... I had a dip.
673
00:55:54,814 --> 00:55:57,488
- A midnight dip.
- Fully clothed?
674
00:55:57,575 --> 00:56:01,331
Well, I couldn't go in
in the nude, could I? Well, could I?
675
00:56:03,337 --> 00:56:05,328
- I fell in.
- Well, fall into bed.
676
00:56:05,418 --> 00:56:08,172
- I'll get the doctor.
- I'm going out again.
677
00:56:08,259 --> 00:56:10,694
Where to this time? The Serpentine?
678
00:56:12,300 --> 00:56:15,532
I'll get Maria to lay out
your frogman's outfit.
679
00:57:05,118 --> 00:57:08,077
Go and clean up.
You look a terrible sight.
680
00:57:20,163 --> 00:57:23,122
Oh, good evening. Is Mrs Ransom in?
681
00:57:23,204 --> 00:57:26,754
Yes, but I'm afraid
she can't see anyone at the moment.
682
00:57:26,845 --> 00:57:28,801
Then I'll wait.
683
00:57:29,525 --> 00:57:32,962
Please, couldn't you come back
tomorrow? Mumsie...
684
00:57:33,047 --> 00:57:36,085
Mumsie won't be in the least
surprised to see me.
685
00:57:36,168 --> 00:57:39,559
- Been rather an evening. May I?
- Yes, of course... No!
686
00:57:39,649 --> 00:57:43,279
- It's bad! Gone off! Flies!
- All right, all right!
687
00:57:43,371 --> 00:57:46,408
It's Mumsie.
688
00:57:47,891 --> 00:57:49,848
Good evening.
689
00:57:52,173 --> 00:57:56,327
Well, don't look so surprised.
You expected me earlier,
690
00:57:56,415 --> 00:58:00,045
or did more pressing engagements
banish it from your mind?
691
00:58:00,136 --> 00:58:03,651
No, no, no...
Of course I expected you.
692
00:58:03,736 --> 00:58:06,696
- Won't you have a drink?
- No, thank you.
693
00:58:06,778 --> 00:58:09,293
- Your daughter warned me.
- Did she?
694
00:58:09,379 --> 00:58:12,099
Ethel, come here. Excuse me.
695
00:58:12,180 --> 00:58:13,932
Certainly.
696
00:58:16,862 --> 00:58:18,818
Oh.
697
00:58:23,463 --> 00:58:25,216
How did he escape?
698
00:58:25,304 --> 00:58:27,660
- Who?
- Dennis, girl. Dennis!
699
00:58:27,745 --> 00:58:31,659
- That's not Dennis, Mumsie.
- Of course it's Dennis.
700
00:58:31,746 --> 00:58:34,864
- I should know.
- Well, it can't be.
701
00:58:36,507 --> 00:58:39,068
Then who was the man in the trunk?
702
00:58:39,148 --> 00:58:41,299
Oh, Mumsie, what have you done?
703
00:58:41,389 --> 00:58:45,144
What have I done?! You have murdered
an innocent bystander.
704
00:58:45,231 --> 00:58:46,949
Control yourself.
705
00:58:47,031 --> 00:58:48,988
- Get this back to the barge.
- Why?
706
00:58:49,072 --> 00:58:51,268
If he misses it, he'll be suspicious.
707
00:58:51,353 --> 00:58:54,151
Besides, it pointless our taking it
while he's alive.
708
00:58:54,233 --> 00:58:56,429
If I nobble him now,
we can get it back.
709
00:58:56,514 --> 00:58:59,473
Though why you had
to go and warn him...
710
00:58:59,555 --> 00:59:02,707
Hurry! Hurry!
Our whole future depends on it.
711
00:59:07,838 --> 00:59:10,592
Forgive me.
I was getting rid of my daughter.
712
00:59:10,678 --> 00:59:13,432
Getting rid of people
seems to be a hobby of yours.
713
00:59:13,519 --> 00:59:15,397
Eh?!
714
00:59:16,481 --> 00:59:18,916
Are you sure you won't have a drink?
715
00:59:19,002 --> 00:59:21,277
Oh, no. For once, I think I won't.
716
00:59:21,363 --> 00:59:24,561
- Oh...
- Please sit down.
717
00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:26,795
Business before pleasure.
718
00:59:33,166 --> 00:59:35,123
The keys!
719
00:59:44,090 --> 00:59:47,447
Beautiful evening, Constable.
Beautiful evening.
720
00:59:50,132 --> 00:59:53,489
Mr X was then pushed into the pond.
I don't know why you did it,
721
00:59:53,573 --> 00:59:57,123
but if that isn't worth double
what I asked, I'm a Dutchman.
722
00:59:57,214 --> 01:00:01,175
It was a dummy.
We... I was working out a plot.
723
01:00:01,256 --> 01:00:03,326
Pinching a plot, don't you mean?
724
01:00:03,416 --> 01:00:05,772
What would your chum say?
725
01:00:05,857 --> 01:00:07,894
Therefore I suggest a contract
726
01:00:07,978 --> 01:00:11,210
making over 50 per cent
of all your future royalties forever.
727
01:00:11,299 --> 01:00:14,576
- Impossible.
- Then I'll send an anonymous letter,
728
01:00:14,660 --> 01:00:18,416
telling police to drag the pond
and name you as the culprit.
729
01:00:18,502 --> 01:00:20,457
- Mumsie! Mumsie!
- Go away!
730
01:00:20,541 --> 01:00:23,740
But, Mumsie, the keys!
You've got the keys!
731
01:00:26,824 --> 01:00:28,781
In my raincoat pocket. Hurry.
732
01:00:28,865 --> 01:00:31,778
Don't say there's someone else
for the high jump.
733
01:00:31,866 --> 01:00:34,222
What about the money you mentioned?
734
01:00:34,307 --> 01:00:36,741
I couldn't get it.
It may be a few days.
735
01:00:36,827 --> 01:00:40,787
Well, the new deal will be �5,000
down in advance of the 50 per cent.
736
01:00:40,868 --> 01:00:43,828
When may I hope to see
the cash and contract?
737
01:00:43,910 --> 01:00:47,187
Why, you...! My agent is away.
738
01:00:48,271 --> 01:00:51,423
Come the day after tomorrow evening
at nine o'clock.
739
01:00:51,513 --> 01:00:54,186
Well, don't let me down this time.
740
01:00:54,273 --> 01:00:55,831
- No.
- Good.
741
01:01:46,690 --> 01:01:50,445
Beautiful night, Constable.
Beautiful night.
742
01:01:57,694 --> 01:02:00,289
Excuse me, sir, you got... Oh!
743
01:02:00,375 --> 01:02:06,133
Oh! You. Mr Creeping Alopecia. No you
don't! There's something fishy here.
744
01:02:06,216 --> 01:02:09,415
There'll be something
even fishier soon, sir.
745
01:02:09,498 --> 01:02:13,208
We're going to stay here
and discuss this very quietly.
746
01:02:25,823 --> 01:02:28,896
"Mystery explosion
wrecks peer's car"!
747
01:02:28,984 --> 01:02:32,422
Well, Henry? What's going on?
Come on. Out with it.
748
01:02:32,506 --> 01:02:36,863
I'm cheesed off. If it isn't police
or reporters, it's you.
749
01:02:36,946 --> 01:02:40,861
Just a couple of minor accidents
and a girl I'll never see again.
750
01:02:42,308 --> 01:02:45,939
Miss Melissa Right
to see you urgently, sir.
751
01:02:47,030 --> 01:02:50,502
So, we're off again.
Show her in, Maria.
752
01:02:50,592 --> 01:02:52,629
Show her right in.
753
01:02:52,713 --> 01:02:55,227
Bathing again, or is this a dry day?
754
01:02:59,554 --> 01:03:03,026
Good morning, my dear.
How very nice to see you again.
755
01:03:03,116 --> 01:03:05,870
My husband was afraid
we'd seen the last of you.
756
01:03:05,957 --> 01:03:10,553
I have a feeling you won't be needing
your frogman's flippers today.
757
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,276
- You shouldn't have come here.
- I'm...
758
01:03:20,361 --> 01:03:22,114
Shh!
759
01:03:22,202 --> 01:03:25,434
I came to apologise
about yesterday.
760
01:03:25,523 --> 01:03:27,957
Is that the only reason you came?
761
01:03:28,043 --> 01:03:30,604
No, it isn't.
Now I've really lost Bill.
762
01:03:30,684 --> 01:03:34,235
- I am going to the police.
- Please... That's no good.
763
01:03:34,326 --> 01:03:36,557
No point crying over spilt milk.
764
01:03:36,647 --> 01:03:40,721
You don't understand.
It's not his money I care about.
765
01:03:40,808 --> 01:03:42,765
I really love him.
766
01:03:42,849 --> 01:03:46,364
So, now I'm getting my own back
on that beastly Dennis.
767
01:03:46,449 --> 01:03:50,808
Just a minute. You said you saw a
file on that authoress Flora Ransom?
768
01:03:50,891 --> 01:03:53,531
- Yes.
- Right! We're going to see her.
769
01:03:53,612 --> 01:03:56,844
I have a few questions
to ask that murderous woman.
770
01:03:59,374 --> 01:04:01,127
Excuse me.
771
01:04:03,415 --> 01:04:07,125
- Have a good time.
- I am not going to have a good time!
772
01:04:12,579 --> 01:04:14,535
Is Mrs Ransom in?
773
01:04:14,619 --> 01:04:18,296
She's out but we are expecting her
back soon. Come in.
774
01:04:18,381 --> 01:04:19,733
Thank you.
775
01:04:19,820 --> 01:04:25,420
My name's Bastable. I'm the lucky
fellow she's consented to marry.
776
01:04:26,503 --> 01:04:30,053
She's a widow, you know. This way.
777
01:04:32,705 --> 01:04:35,982
Oh, was Flora expecting you?
778
01:04:36,066 --> 01:04:38,820
- I hardly think so.
- Oh.
779
01:04:38,907 --> 01:04:42,583
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Mayley, Lord Mayley,
780
01:04:42,668 --> 01:04:44,625
and this is Miss Right.
781
01:04:44,709 --> 01:04:47,019
Oh, congratulations!
782
01:04:47,110 --> 01:04:49,181
No, no. That's her name.
783
01:04:49,271 --> 01:04:52,150
Her name? Oh, how do you do?
784
01:04:52,871 --> 01:04:54,225
Yes...
785
01:04:55,352 --> 01:04:58,629
Would you care for a glass of sherry
while you wait?
786
01:04:58,713 --> 01:05:00,670
Yes, please.
787
01:05:04,236 --> 01:05:06,956
Er, has Mrs Ransom
been a widow very long?
788
01:05:07,037 --> 01:05:09,187
Oh, yes. Many years.
789
01:05:09,278 --> 01:05:11,917
Yes. Many, many, years.
790
01:05:12,678 --> 01:05:17,879
Her poor husband died out east
in rather mysterious circumstances.
791
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:21,510
- Oh?
- Yes. Drowned, poor fellow.
792
01:05:21,601 --> 01:05:25,516
- Oh!
- Flora was in England at the time.
793
01:05:25,603 --> 01:05:26,956
Oh.
794
01:05:27,043 --> 01:05:29,557
Ah! That may be she.
795
01:05:29,643 --> 01:05:33,194
She's...
She's apt to forget her keys.
796
01:05:35,486 --> 01:05:37,442
Let me do the talking.
797
01:05:40,248 --> 01:05:42,318
Good morning, sir. Mrs Ransom?
798
01:05:42,408 --> 01:05:46,038
She's out but we expect her back,
if you'd care to come in.
799
01:05:46,129 --> 01:05:48,086
Well, I am, sir, aren't I?
800
01:05:49,690 --> 01:05:53,605
- Nothing to worry about, sir.
- Oh, I'm sure there's not.
801
01:05:53,692 --> 01:05:57,732
I'm inquiring about a missing cabinet
last seen in her possession.
802
01:05:57,813 --> 01:06:01,966
- I don't know if you know anything?
- I've no idea. Now, please...
803
01:06:11,578 --> 01:06:15,094
- Well, won't you come in?
- Yes, thank you.
804
01:06:15,179 --> 01:06:17,250
This is Lord...?
805
01:06:17,340 --> 01:06:20,730
- How do you do?
- And this is Miss, um...?
806
01:06:22,341 --> 01:06:25,971
This is a most genial gentleman
from the police.
807
01:06:26,062 --> 01:06:29,977
- Pleased to meet you.
- Will you have a glass of sherry?
808
01:06:30,064 --> 01:06:34,423
Well, I'm not supposed to on duty,
if you'll pardon the... word...
809
01:06:34,506 --> 01:06:37,259
but a small one
for medicinal purposes.
810
01:06:37,346 --> 01:06:39,861
- Splendid.
- Yes.
811
01:06:39,947 --> 01:06:43,258
Well,
for what we are about to receive...
812
01:06:50,591 --> 01:06:55,302
Oh, Mumsie, need we flee the country?
If we made a clean breast of it...
813
01:06:55,392 --> 01:06:59,432
Murdering a stranger by mistake?
Go and finish off that trunk.
814
01:06:59,513 --> 01:07:01,630
How you can use that of all trunks?
815
01:07:06,996 --> 01:07:09,591
- Now what?
- It's... It's Daddy Batty.
816
01:07:09,677 --> 01:07:13,910
He would come! Get rid of him.
We're going on holiday, remember?
817
01:07:14,838 --> 01:07:16,795
Well, let me in.
818
01:07:16,879 --> 01:07:19,997
He seems to... Well, he has...
819
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:22,436
- a female.
- A female?!
820
01:07:23,682 --> 01:07:27,152
Cedric! Why, you brazen hussy!
821
01:07:28,242 --> 01:07:31,873
- Good heavens. They're asleep!
- Mumsie, look!
822
01:07:38,646 --> 01:07:40,638
Sergeant...
823
01:07:43,808 --> 01:07:46,163
The police, they found out!
824
01:07:48,249 --> 01:07:51,481
They've doped themselves.
We may still get away.
825
01:07:51,570 --> 01:07:55,201
- Mumsie, look! His moustache!
- They're onto us all right.
826
01:07:55,292 --> 01:07:59,526
He's a plain-clothes brute
disguised as an ordinary policeman.
827
01:07:59,614 --> 01:08:03,732
We must get an earlier plane.
Stand guard while I finish packing.
828
01:08:03,814 --> 01:08:06,454
- What's this for?
- To crown him with if he wakes.
829
01:08:06,535 --> 01:08:09,096
- No!
- In for a penny, in for a pound.
830
01:08:27,102 --> 01:08:29,936
No! No!
831
01:08:32,664 --> 01:08:34,815
Another?! Who is he?
832
01:08:34,905 --> 01:08:37,100
- It's him!
- Him?
833
01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:40,623
- It's him! It can't be but it is!
- Him who?
834
01:08:40,707 --> 01:08:42,663
The one we drowned!
835
01:08:42,747 --> 01:08:45,980
- He's come back!
- Ethel, stop it! Are you sure?
836
01:08:46,069 --> 01:08:49,380
Back from the dead
and still so happy!
837
01:08:49,470 --> 01:08:51,541
Stop it! Control yourself!
838
01:08:51,631 --> 01:08:53,826
Here. Drink this. Here.
839
01:08:58,833 --> 01:09:00,710
Mumsie...
840
01:09:00,793 --> 01:09:02,864
- You...
- No!
841
01:09:02,954 --> 01:09:04,911
- You!
- No, Ethel!
842
01:09:07,876 --> 01:09:09,832
Ethel! Oh!
843
01:09:10,916 --> 01:09:12,509
Ohh!
844
01:09:49,129 --> 01:09:51,360
...tomorrow night is my deadline.
845
01:09:51,450 --> 01:09:54,011
I beg your pardon.
846
01:09:55,372 --> 01:09:57,840
Quite a congregation.
847
01:09:57,933 --> 01:10:01,482
Oh, am I interrupting something?
848
01:10:01,573 --> 01:10:04,407
Yes, Cedric.
We're working out a plot.
849
01:10:04,494 --> 01:10:07,726
That's curious. It's dark already.
850
01:10:07,815 --> 01:10:10,934
- I seem to have...
- Dropped off? Yes, Cedric.
851
01:10:11,017 --> 01:10:14,977
- Ethel will find you a taxi.
- Taxi? Oh, thank you very much.
852
01:10:17,619 --> 01:10:21,659
Before I dropped off, didn't
you have a moustache, Sergeant?
853
01:10:21,740 --> 01:10:24,733
Yes, Cedric. That dropped off, too.
Away with you.
854
01:10:24,821 --> 01:10:27,336
Well, good luck to your endeavours.
855
01:10:27,422 --> 01:10:29,618
Thank you. We'll need it.
856
01:10:30,703 --> 01:10:32,854
Oh, dear. Oh...
857
01:10:35,744 --> 01:10:37,701
- Now, where were we?
- My plan.
858
01:10:37,785 --> 01:10:41,096
I'll polish him off
but I'll need an alibi from you.
859
01:10:41,186 --> 01:10:43,655
Just a minute. I object to violence.
860
01:10:43,747 --> 01:10:46,262
That's handy
after hours of discussion.
861
01:10:46,348 --> 01:10:50,741
I never said I'd do anything.
I consider murder rather un-English.
862
01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:53,185
One's got to draw the line somewhere.
863
01:10:53,270 --> 01:10:57,025
What's your alternative? The police?
Go on. I don't mind.
864
01:10:57,111 --> 01:11:01,072
I never did like you,
not even on television.
865
01:11:01,153 --> 01:11:04,112
Look, Dennis is coming here
at nine tomorrow night.
866
01:11:04,194 --> 01:11:08,314
I can get on the barge. I'll see you
at eight. Get a tape recorder.
867
01:11:09,355 --> 01:11:11,108
- Thank you so much.
- Henry?
868
01:11:11,196 --> 01:11:13,995
Delighted to meet you, Mr MacGregor.
I'm a fan.
869
01:11:14,077 --> 01:11:17,833
Is my husband giving you
some comic ideas?
870
01:11:17,919 --> 01:11:20,480
- Well, some ideas.
- If I could only say,
871
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:23,200
the things that happen to him
in his private life!
872
01:11:23,281 --> 01:11:26,433
Mr MacGregor and I
have insurance matters to discuss.
873
01:11:26,521 --> 01:11:28,752
- We mustn't be disturbed.
- Really!
874
01:11:34,284 --> 01:11:36,321
Right. Take a pew.
875
01:11:36,405 --> 01:11:39,716
Now, did you write up
some insurance dialogue?
876
01:11:39,806 --> 01:11:41,923
- There you are.
- Right.
877
01:11:43,127 --> 01:11:47,201
Incidentally, one day, I might
really take out a policy with you.
878
01:11:47,288 --> 01:11:51,329
I wouldn't insure your life
for tuppence... or mine.
879
01:11:52,130 --> 01:11:54,087
- Ready?
- Mm-hmm.
880
01:11:54,651 --> 01:11:57,564
"Here are the figures, MacGregor.
Have a look."
881
01:11:57,652 --> 01:12:00,769
"I get all that
with such a small premium?"
882
01:12:07,495 --> 01:12:10,966
'Here are the figures,
MacGregor. Have a look.'
883
01:12:11,056 --> 01:12:14,494
'I get all that
with such a small premium? '
884
01:12:16,738 --> 01:12:21,290
- That detestable little man again.
- He saved your miserable life.
885
01:12:21,379 --> 01:12:23,336
Half a crown! Huh!
886
01:12:23,420 --> 01:12:27,300
'I get all that
with such a small premium? '
887
01:12:27,382 --> 01:12:30,341
We'd better record
15 minutes' worth of that.
888
01:12:30,423 --> 01:12:34,815
- How long do you think you'll be?
- Depends on when he goes to sleep
889
01:12:34,903 --> 01:12:38,022
but I hope to have finished the job
by midnight.
890
01:14:04,733 --> 01:14:08,171
'The personal risk clause
interests me.'
891
01:14:08,255 --> 01:14:11,931
'Here are the figures,
MacGregor. Have a look.'
892
01:14:12,016 --> 01:14:15,693
'I get all that
with such a small premium? '
893
01:14:36,744 --> 01:14:40,533
I'm sorry I'm late, love.
Mother would go on so.
894
01:15:04,073 --> 01:15:06,668
We can say
we spent our holiday cruising.
895
01:15:06,754 --> 01:15:09,222
Yes, cabin class.
Come on, we'll be late.
896
01:15:09,314 --> 01:15:13,150
- You don't want that! Come on.
- Oh, all right.
897
01:15:35,323 --> 01:15:37,633
What the dickens are you doing here?
898
01:15:37,724 --> 01:15:42,038
Morning, sir. I were looking for you,
sir, about your top and bottom.
899
01:15:42,126 --> 01:15:45,118
No need. I've let the barge
to a young couple.
900
01:15:45,206 --> 01:15:47,846
So I gather, sir. Yes. Yes.
901
01:15:47,927 --> 01:15:51,319
Oh, just in case.
Where are you removed to?
902
01:15:51,409 --> 01:15:55,562
To the country. As you're here, you
can help carry my luggage to the car.
903
01:15:55,650 --> 01:15:59,725
- I say! Mr Dennis?
- Yes.
904
01:15:59,812 --> 01:16:02,929
I'm a police officer. Who are you?
905
01:16:03,012 --> 01:16:07,451
Er, I'm from the West London Bureau
of Barges, Brigs, Boats...
906
01:16:07,534 --> 01:16:10,971
Buzz off. Mr Dennis,
I've got a warrant for your arrest
907
01:16:11,055 --> 01:16:15,096
on the charge of demanding money
with menaces from Wilfred Aintree.
908
01:16:15,177 --> 01:16:17,850
Anything you say
may be used in evidence.
909
01:16:17,937 --> 01:16:23,411
I won't say anything but if I'm to
go down, I'll blow them sky-high...
910
01:16:23,499 --> 01:16:26,936
- Oh. All right, let's go.
- In here first, please.
911
01:16:27,020 --> 01:16:29,296
You won't find much in here.
912
01:17:04,193 --> 01:17:07,789
'The personal risk clause
interests me.
913
01:17:07,874 --> 01:17:11,311
'Supposing some frightful disaster
happens to me? '
914
01:17:16,277 --> 01:17:20,066
'Here are the figures,
MacGregor. Have a look.'
915
01:17:20,158 --> 01:17:23,789
'I get all that
with such a small premium? '
916
01:17:28,160 --> 01:17:31,916
- Oh, good morning, Lady Mayley.
- Good morning.
917
01:17:32,002 --> 01:17:34,597
Good morning, yes. Erm... I, er...
918
01:17:34,683 --> 01:17:36,640
- Yes?
- Well, I, er...
919
01:17:36,724 --> 01:17:41,640
I'm sorry to trouble you at this hour
but is your husband there?
920
01:17:41,725 --> 01:17:44,445
Not all there, I'm thinking.
921
01:17:44,526 --> 01:17:46,005
Sorry.
922
01:17:46,086 --> 01:17:48,043
- Henry?
- What?
923
01:17:48,127 --> 01:17:50,961
Do you and Mr MacGregor
want breakfast?
924
01:17:51,048 --> 01:17:54,804
- Just a minute. I'll ask him.
- No, I'll ask him.
925
01:17:54,890 --> 01:17:57,040
He's out here with me.
926
01:18:04,412 --> 01:18:08,532
You know, I have come back
to clear up one small point.
927
01:18:08,614 --> 01:18:13,736
Do you mean to say I really get
all that with such a small premium?
928
01:18:13,816 --> 01:18:15,773
Excuse me.
929
01:18:26,140 --> 01:18:28,291
Dr Wilson.
930
01:18:28,381 --> 01:18:31,852
Dr Wilson... Dr Wilson...
931
01:18:33,423 --> 01:18:35,697
Nigel! I can't believe it.
932
01:18:36,783 --> 01:18:40,015
And Virginia. Can't believe that.
933
01:18:40,104 --> 01:18:43,302
Mario. I can believe that.
934
01:18:44,826 --> 01:18:47,785
I say. You were a bit of a lad,
weren't you?
935
01:18:49,388 --> 01:18:51,379
All lies.
936
01:18:54,269 --> 01:18:56,225
Pleased you got the file.
937
01:18:56,309 --> 01:19:00,145
What's the use? He won't forget
our names. Sky-high, he said.
938
01:19:00,231 --> 01:19:02,746
"I'll blow you all sky-high."
939
01:19:02,832 --> 01:19:04,949
And he will, the cad.
940
01:19:05,033 --> 01:19:08,344
- So, we're sunk.
- If he talks.
941
01:19:08,434 --> 01:19:11,585
We might as well be hanged
for a sheep as a lamb.
942
01:19:11,674 --> 01:19:13,631
- MacGregor?
- Hmm?
943
01:19:14,676 --> 01:19:17,271
Dennis must not be brought to trial.
944
01:19:17,357 --> 01:19:20,430
So, are you going to break
into jail and kill him?
945
01:19:20,518 --> 01:19:22,794
No, break into jail and get him out.
946
01:19:22,879 --> 01:19:25,314
- What?!
- He must be saved at all costs
947
01:19:25,400 --> 01:19:27,355
and taken out of the country.
948
01:19:27,439 --> 01:19:31,753
Are you crazy?! We've been killing
ourselves trying to murder him.
949
01:19:31,841 --> 01:19:34,914
And you failed dismally.
Now I'm taking charge.
950
01:19:35,002 --> 01:19:38,360
Get on the telephone
to that Ransom woman. Come on.
951
01:19:38,444 --> 01:19:41,323
- We'd never get away with it.
- WE wouldn't...
952
01:19:41,405 --> 01:19:46,321
but we've got hundreds of allies here
from every strata of society.
953
01:19:46,406 --> 01:19:51,687
Look. Pilots, ship owners, doctors,
politicians. Everybody we could need.
954
01:19:51,768 --> 01:19:54,841
- For what?
- For the greatest escape in history.
955
01:19:54,929 --> 01:19:56,886
- Get on the telephone!
- Yes...
956
01:19:56,970 --> 01:20:00,007
Yes, we'd have the police
running in circles.
957
01:20:00,090 --> 01:20:04,768
Hundreds of loyal allies
welded together in a common cause.
958
01:20:04,852 --> 01:20:09,211
Good Heavens! Sir Hatton Aysbrook.
He's on the board of my directors.
959
01:20:09,294 --> 01:20:12,492
He'll have to go. We can't employ
disgusting people like that.
960
01:20:12,575 --> 01:20:15,010
- Come on! Get on the phone!
- Yes, yes.
961
01:20:21,337 --> 01:20:23,613
Brickwell, to fetch the prisoner.
962
01:20:37,503 --> 01:20:39,699
He phoned -
they are using the Wolseley!
963
01:20:39,784 --> 01:20:41,740
Right, come on!
964
01:20:47,346 --> 01:20:49,258
Help!
965
01:20:49,347 --> 01:20:51,702
Police! I'm being attacked!
966
01:20:53,388 --> 01:20:58,703
F-F-Four men. Third floor,
14, Stretton Street, WC2.
967
01:20:58,790 --> 01:21:01,544
14, Stretton Street, WC2.
968
01:21:18,236 --> 01:21:21,867
Hello, 70G. Hello, 70G for George.
969
01:21:21,958 --> 01:21:25,190
'Woman attacked,
14, Stretton Street.'
970
01:21:25,279 --> 01:21:29,068
Hello. 70G for George.
Message received. Over.
971
01:21:34,482 --> 01:21:37,520
Help! Police! Odeon Cinema!
972
01:21:37,603 --> 01:21:39,879
Police! Quick! Gang fight!
973
01:21:39,964 --> 01:21:43,434
Help! He's going to murder me!
10, Lucas Square, SW7.
974
01:21:43,524 --> 01:21:47,314
Hello, 7 A for apple.
Frobisher Street, gang fight.
975
01:21:47,406 --> 01:21:49,557
Help! Help! He's breaking in!
976
01:21:51,087 --> 01:21:54,046
Where is he? Where is he?
977
01:21:54,128 --> 01:21:58,726
Oh, darling, I'll explain later.
I'm so pleased to see you.
978
01:21:58,810 --> 01:22:03,168
Hello, 15B, 15B.
Bremnitt Crescent, maniac at large.
979
01:22:17,375 --> 01:22:20,049
- Dennis trial starts today.
- OK!
980
01:22:30,300 --> 01:22:32,257
What's this? A jamboree?
981
01:22:57,149 --> 01:23:00,222
I say, old boy.
Your tyre's punctured.
982
01:23:06,673 --> 01:23:08,424
Yep!
983
01:23:19,837 --> 01:23:21,793
It's a lovely day for a trial.
984
01:23:21,877 --> 01:23:25,587
Lovely day for almost anything,
Mr Dennis.
985
01:23:26,998 --> 01:23:29,672
- What? You?!
- For you own good.
986
01:23:32,481 --> 01:23:35,474
So, you've had a puncture.
Well, mend it!
987
01:23:35,562 --> 01:23:38,361
No, you can't have a relief car.
We're too busy.
988
01:23:46,885 --> 01:23:50,482
- Everything all right, Doctor?
- Yes, and thank you.
989
01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:52,523
We've a long way to go yet.
990
01:23:58,450 --> 01:24:01,248
Bravo! Well done indeed.
991
01:24:04,691 --> 01:24:06,762
Open the door, Doctor.
992
01:24:18,335 --> 01:24:24,129
- I really do believe we've done it.
- It's the last lap that worries me.
993
01:24:24,218 --> 01:24:26,733
I'm sorry. This is for your own good.
994
01:24:26,819 --> 01:24:29,857
Oh, well.
Whatever that was, it's over.
995
01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:33,619
Prisoner kidnapped
on way to Old Bailey.
996
01:24:33,700 --> 01:24:36,454
Bet you a quid to a copper
that's another hoax.
997
01:24:39,463 --> 01:24:42,536
I've always wanted to go in a
helicopter, Wing-Commander.
998
01:24:42,624 --> 01:24:43,977
Most exciting.
999
01:24:44,064 --> 01:24:47,217
The last lap is likely
to be even more exciting.
1000
01:24:47,306 --> 01:24:50,060
Probably the death of all of us.
1001
01:24:51,346 --> 01:24:53,622
That's for your own good, old man.
1002
01:24:56,588 --> 01:25:00,139
- Well, last lap but one.
- Don't mention that last lap.
1003
01:25:00,230 --> 01:25:05,066
I don't what you're worried about.
Admiral Kinley says he's had one leak
1004
01:25:05,152 --> 01:25:06,505
in the past 15 years.
1005
01:25:06,592 --> 01:25:10,632
Even so, 200 miles out in the
Atlantic in a frail craft like that.
1006
01:25:10,713 --> 01:25:14,866
- We should have got an aeroplane.
- How could we transfer him?
1007
01:25:14,954 --> 01:25:18,073
That's for your own good.
1008
01:25:18,156 --> 01:25:20,112
He's popped off again.
1009
01:25:20,196 --> 01:25:22,153
How are we doing?
1010
01:25:22,237 --> 01:25:26,789
- Thirty minutes behind schedule.
- We'll be on Skylark in two hours.
1011
01:25:37,562 --> 01:25:40,282
Cheer up, skipper.
It won't be long now.
1012
01:25:40,363 --> 01:25:42,479
I always knew I'd hate this thing.
1013
01:25:43,363 --> 01:25:48,314
You know, I've said a lot of rude
things about you in the past, Henry,
1014
01:25:48,405 --> 01:25:50,362
but I've got to hand it to you,
1015
01:25:50,446 --> 01:25:53,996
this has been a magnificent piece
of organisation.
1016
01:25:54,088 --> 01:25:59,117
Thank you, Sonny.
I really do like you on television.
1017
01:25:59,209 --> 01:26:01,359
He's coming round.
1018
01:26:10,013 --> 01:26:12,972
It's all right.
We're not going to hurt you.
1019
01:26:13,054 --> 01:26:16,364
- Where am I?
- 200 miles out in the Atlantic.
1020
01:26:16,454 --> 01:26:18,571
Soon, we're going to transfer you
1021
01:26:18,655 --> 01:26:21,614
to a ship bound
for South America and safety.
1022
01:26:21,696 --> 01:26:23,653
- Why?
- Why?
1023
01:26:23,777 --> 01:26:28,250
Because of your threat to expose
everyone, we decided to rescue you...
1024
01:26:28,339 --> 01:26:30,900
- on conditions.
- What conditions?
1025
01:26:30,980 --> 01:26:35,736
You never set foot in England again
or attempt to blackmail your victims.
1026
01:26:35,821 --> 01:26:39,656
Three hundred people
worked on your escape.
1027
01:26:39,742 --> 01:26:45,535
If there's one more peep out of you,
you'll get done 300 times.
1028
01:26:45,625 --> 01:26:48,663
You did all this
1029
01:26:48,746 --> 01:26:51,101
We had to prevent the worst scandal
1030
01:26:51,186 --> 01:26:53,621
since Lady Godiva
took up horse riding.
1031
01:26:54,707 --> 01:26:58,861
But I wasn't going to talk. I had
a very good chance of getting off.
1032
01:27:00,789 --> 01:27:02,860
Yes, and if my counsel were right,
1033
01:27:02,950 --> 01:27:07,627
you destroyed most of the evidence
when you took that cabinet.
1034
01:27:07,711 --> 01:27:09,942
So, you're in it up to the neck.
1035
01:27:11,513 --> 01:27:14,347
If you don't mind,
I feel a bit faint.
1036
01:27:14,434 --> 01:27:16,390
I think I'll get some fresh air.
1037
01:27:24,638 --> 01:27:27,596
The fool!
What on earth did he do that for?
1038
01:27:27,678 --> 01:27:30,398
He's probably a very good swimmer.
1039
01:27:33,280 --> 01:27:37,115
Anyway, what are we worrying about?
Whoopee!
83140
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