All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 05x19 - 72 Hours

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend" ♪

What an idiot!
Of all the lamebrained, moronic dopes.

If ever I wanted to reach
right through the phone

and strangle somebody.

Not really a morning person,
are you, pussycat?

It's this caterer that I hired

for my Save the Wetlands
banquet.

He's a week late with the menu,

now he tells me that he's going
to serve wild duck and crayfish.

They come from the wetlands.

It's like holding
a Save the Whales function

on a Japanese trawler.

Is there an open bar?

You know, Ma,
that's part of the problem.

Nobody cares.

Do you realize what would happen
if there were no swamps?

New Jersey wouldn't
have a state smell.

I'm just in over my head.

What with the banquet,
press releases,

petitions to be signed.
Ma, what am I gonna do?

I'll help.

Blanche, that's
sweet, but, honey,

aren't your hands tied with all the
work that you're doing for... you?

I know I'm not always
the first one to volunteer,

but I happen to have
an affection for bayous.

Matter of fact,
I became a woman in one.

I thought you lost it
in a hot-air balloon.

I thought you lost it
at a pancake breakfast.

Well, those don't count.

I mean, they did at the time,

but this is the definitive
where-I-lost-my-virginity story.

It's really nice of you to share
something so personal with us, Blanche.

In a bayou? You slut.

Mail call.

Oh, Rose. You're here.
That's good.

I am absolutely snowed under
with this wetlands thing.

And, as usual,
I know I can count on you.

I'm sorry, Dorothy.

What? But Rose,

you always help out
with these things.

You're involved
in all the charities.

You send a contribution
to Save the Rich.

I have charity-work
burn-out, Dorothy.

In the last three months I have helped with
raffles and bake sales and car washes.

I have to draw the line.

Well, I guess
I'll manage somehow.

What is it, Rose?
Is something wrong?

I'm not sure.
St. Luke's hospital

wants me to come in
for some kind of test.

That's where I had my
gallbladder out six years ago.

Can I see it, Rose?

They throw organs
out after surgery.

The letter, Rose.

Oh.

Hm.

Seems you had a transfusion
while you were there.

The hospital thinks the blood

may have contained
HIV antibodies.

HI... V?

Wait a minute.
You're talking about AIDS.

This has to be some kind of mistake.
Don't panic.

There's just a possibility.
This is a precaution.

Well, what do I do? We just call up
the hospital and make an appointment.

Everything will be fine.

You think so?
Why, I'm sure of it.

Now, let's plan
Dorothy's fundraiser.

Hey, I know what would be fun.

Uh, Blanche, we're gonna try to
raise all the money in one night.

I know.

Yes, but this is
a very important--

Yes. Yes, I understand.

I understand.

Oh, boy. Some people.
What's wrong, Blanche?

Nobody gives a damn about
this Save the Wetlands thing.

I sat in our booth of ours
at the mall for three hours.

Not one soul came by
and asked for information.

What we need is some kind of
swamp gimmick, like...

"Guess how many leeches
are in the jar."

I don't think so, Blanche.

All right, then.
How about a celebrity auction?

Hey, if you could
buy a celebrity at an auction,

I'd be showering every morning
with Trini López.

Ma, I didn't know
you liked Trini López.

I don't, but who can I
afford on a fixed income?

You don't understand, Sophia.

A celebrity auction
is where famous people

donate personal items
to bid on for charities.

That's a great idea, Blanche,
but it's a little late.

I mean, how are we
gonna find celebrities

to donate stuff
and donate it fast?

I can pull some strings.

It so happens
I know some famous people.

Who? I don't want to
divulge his name, but...

I'll give you a clue.

I know what the F stands for
in William F. Buckley.

Does someone want to drive
me to the hospital?

Your appointment's
not for three hours.

Well, I'd like
to get there early.

But if you don't want to take
me, I'll go without you.

I might as well get used
to being by myself.

What does that mean?
Well, come on.

If that test turns out positive,
you won't want to be around me.

You or Miles or anybody.

Now, that is not true.

And I'm sure Miles
will feel the same way.

How am I gonna tell him?
You don't have to tell him anything now.

You're just going for a test.

It's not just a test, Dorothy.

I know just how you feel.

I remember how nervous
and scared and panicked I was

when I went to that neurologist
to have my memory tested.

How did you handle it?

Well, usually,
I add a cup of bleach.

Can I help you?
I think so.

I have a two-o'clock appointment
for an AIDS blood test.

My name is...
Well, it's...

You know,
we encourage anonymity,

so if you'd like to give us
a fictitious name for our files.

Oh, that'd be great.

Dorothy Zbornak.

Fine. We'll call you in.

You'll be seeing a counselor
and then the doctor.

Meanwhile,
just take a seat, Ms...

Zbornak. Dorothy Zbornak.

Z-b-o--
Let's go, Dorothy.

Boy, this is creepy.
I mean, fake names.

Well, honey, it make sense.

People who test positive

have trouble getting
insurance, jobs.

It's terrible.

The whole process is terrible.
I wish it were over.

It will be soon.

I haven't been this scared
since 1952,

when St. Olaf's most active
volcano threatened to erupt.

Luckily, there were some Druid
priests who were in town

for the opening
of Stonehengeland.

They said they could stop it

if they could sacrifice
the town's dumbest virgin.

I don't know why
I raised my hand.

It must have just been
the excitement of the moment.

But they said the only way
to prevent the eruption

was for me to crawl through
their legs, up the volcano,

while they gave me
my birthday whacks.

Well - and you're not
gonna believe this -

it turns out they weren't
Druid priests at all.

Just a bunch of Shriners
looking for a good time.

That's a scary story, Rose.

Why don't they call me?

I want to get this over
and go home.

Rose. Come here, honey.
Come here. We need to talk.

What, Blanche?

This is the kind of thing
I tend to keep to myself,

but I want you to know.

I got tested too, so I know
what you're going through.

What did you do?
Well, I just had the test,

and then I had a nice
long talk with myself

about being with so many men,

and now when I'm with a man,

I know his
complete history and...

we take all
the necessary precautions.

I just wanted you to know

I understand this is
not an easy time.

Thank you, Blanche.

Mrs. Zbornak.

Dorothy Zbornak?

Rose.

Well, this is it.

All right, darling, come on.
I'll go with you.

Dorothy.

Ma! Where have you been?

I always think it's nice
when you're in a hospital

to walk around
and cheer people up.

Ah. That's nice, Ma.

So after I had
my prescription filled,

I went to up to
Geriatrics and sang

"Anything You Can Do,
I Can Do Better."

Ma.

What a tough crowd.
They threw Jell-O at me.

If you could
call that throwing.

What are you reading?

This pamphlet
on AIDS and teenagers.

It's really so discouraging.

Parents don't talk
to their kids about sex.

This is so important you'd think
they'd get past their embarrassment.

Thank God I was one of those
progressive parents.

I was amazed at how you used
those technical terms.

You told me never to let a boy
touch me "you know where."

And you spelled "where."

Maybe I used to be old-fashioned,
but times have changed.

So when I was at the pharmacy
I bought you some condoms.

Your boyfriends
are supposed to put them

you know w-h-e-r-e.

Rose, I wish I knew what to say
to make you feel better.

Say I'm OK.

You know, we always
tend to think the worst

so that when the news
does finally come,

it's never as bad
as we thought it was gonna be.

Well?
Well...

the good news is you appear
to be in fine physical shape.

Do you have any more questions?

Of course.
Do I have it?

We'll have the results when
you come back in three days.

Three days?
What are you talking about?

I expect when I go to a hospital
for an AIDS test to find out.

I'm sorry.
I wish it was faster,

but it takes us
that long to be sure.

I thought you knew.

Well, I didn't know.

First you give me that transfusion,
and now you tell me this.

Honey, I guess there's really
not much you can do.

Well, sure there is.
There's plenty I can do.

Like, sit around the house
for the next 72 hours,

scared to death
he's gonna tell me

I have something
that's gonna kill me.

How am I gonna do that, Blanche?

How am I gonna get through
the next three days?

Thank you.

What do you mean,
you're canceling?

Is there anything I can say
to change your mind?

I understand. Yeah.

Goodbye.

Swell. Now I don't have
a band for the banquet.

What happened? They decided to
play at the Free Noriega benefit.

Hi, girls.

Rose, what were you doing
out so early this morning?

I couldn't sleep so I went
for a spin last night.

To Alabama.

Blanche, do you know at a
truck stop in Tuscaloosa

they have an egg dish
named after you.

Really?
How are they prepared?

Overeasy.

Rose, are you OK?
I'm fine. Never better.

In fact, I'm so fine
that I've decided

not to even get my results.

Oh, now, Rose--
Oh!

Look at all this stuff
for the celebrity auction.

Linda Evans' compact.
Now, look, Rose--

What about the dress Jamie Farr
promised us from M*A S*H?

It hasn't come yet.
But he promised.

Honey, we have a lot
of other stuff. It's OK.

No, it's not.

He let you down.
Well, I'm not surprised.

You couldn't trust Klinger on guard
duty, you can't trust him now.

Rose, take it easy.

Oh, I'm the one who's
supposed to take it easy? Me?

When the Klingers of the world
are kicking us in the teeth.

Rose, you're hysterical.
Wait, I've seen this in the movies.

How could he do this?
What is wrong with the man?

Ma, you almost got it.

Listen, I think we're all
under a little stress here.

Now, I have an idea.

How about lunch and a movie?
My treat.

Why not? I still have
another 52 hours to kill.

Oh, this is rough.
I feel terrible.

Yeah, I really feel guilty.
Jamie Farr's dress did come.

I just remembered
where I put it.

Where?
How do I look?

Ma, what were you doing
in my bathroom for two hours?

The hokey-pokey.
What do you think I was doing?

Why were you using my bathroom?
There's something wrong with mine.

What?
Rose used it.

Ma, that is just
ignorant paranoia.

Hey, I'm making progress. Yesterday I used
the bathroom down at the Shell station.

It's attitudes like that that add to the panic about this.
Now, what is wrong with you?

Hey, one little slip
and you're all over my back.

It won't happen again.
Relax.

Why is there an R
on some of our coffee cups?

Uh, R for "Regular."
Blank ones are decaf.

I don't believe you.
Look.

I know intellectually
there's no way I can catch it.

But now that it's so close
to home, it's scary.

Well, Sophia, I'm afraid you're
just gonna have to get over that.

I'll try.
I'll try.

I'm usually not like this.

I've been using your
toothbrush for months.

Hi, Rose.
What's going on?

Oh, I'm just sitting here
kicking myself

for not taking care of
my gallbladder.

For going to that hospital
for the operation,

and for letting them give me
blood without asking first:

"Oh, excuse me, are you sure this
isn't gonna kill me one day?"

Now, now, Rose.
Take it easy.

Why does everyone
keep saying that?

I don't feel like
taking it easy.

I might have AIDS,

and it scares
the hell out of me.

Yet every time I open my
mouth to talk about it,

somebody says, "There, there, Rose.
Take it easy."

I'm sorry, honey.
Why me, Blanche?

I'm tired of pretending
I feel OK

so you won't say
"Take it easy."

And I'm tired of you
saying "Take it easy"

'cause you're afraid
I'm gonna fall apart.

Dammit. Why is this
happening to me? I mean...

this isn't supposed to happen
to people like me.

You must have gone to bed
with hundreds of men.

All I had was
one innocent operation.

Hey!
Wait a minute.

Are you saying this
should be me and not you?

No. No, I'm just saying
that I am a good person.

Hell, I'm a goody two shoes.

AIDS is not a bad
person's disease, Rose.

It is not God punishing
people for their sins.

You're right, Blanche.

You're damn straight I'm right.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

Don't apologize.
This is what I want.

Oh, God. This waiting
is driving me crazy.

Blanche, when you were tested,
how did you make it through?

Just kept it to myself

and acted like a real bitch
to everybody else.

No wonder we never knew.

These three days
are killing Rose.

What she needs from us
are calm heads.

Then that's what she'll get.

Oh, God. You gave me an R cup!

Ma, will you stop that?
Here.

Listen, we are the only
family Rose has here,

so we have to help her through
whatever she's going through.

Right.
Sure.

So, here's to Rose.

Whatever happens,
whatever those tests show,

we're here for her.

Dorothy, gimme that.

Oh, Rose, excuse me.

I didn't know
you were out here.

It's OK, Dorothy.
I was just praying.

Trying to put in a good word for tomorrow.
What are you doing?

Oh, just working on this stupid
flier for my stupid banquet.

It's not important.

Sure it is.
It's OK, Rose.

No, it is important.
What's the matter?

I've rewritten this thing
three times,

and the most persuasive slogan
I can come up with is:

"Save our swamps.
No, really, we mean it."

I like it.
No, you don't.

No, I don't.

It sounds like
I'm selling mosquitoes, Rose.

Not that they don't
serve a purpose.

All life is precious.

I care about our wetlands.

I just wish they were
more glamorous, you know?

I mean, I'm trying to save
something that you can't go into

without wearing hip boots.

Well, some people
might chuckle,

but I think what you're doing
is important.

I mean, people laughed
at me back in St. Olaf

when I spearheaded the drive to
get our very own missile silo.

Oh, sure, some gloomy Gusses

muttered about
the plutonium thing.

But I figured if we could make
our sleepy little hamlet

into a first-strike target,
it would help tourism.

You know, it sounds like we both
have a little trouble with groups.

Maybe so.

You know that, in school,
I actually joined the math club

so I could meet guys.

Really.
Oh, I can beat that.

I joined the Four-H Club
to be hip.

The Aldo Ray fan club.

I can beat that too.
What?

No, I can't.
That's pretty bad.

That felt good.

It's been a bad week.

It'll get better.

It's weird.

I wanted those three days over,
and now that they are,

I kinda feel I'd like
some of it back.

I mean, any second,
that door is gonna open,

and that doctor is gonna
tell me my future.

Your future's gonna be filled with
nothing but joy and laughter.

Thank you, Sophia.

Don't thank me,
thank The Miami Herald.

It's your horoscope.

Good morning, ladies.
Good morning.

I hope you don't mind.
These are my friends.

Not at all.

Your test results were fine,
Mrs. Zbornak.

Oh, that's great!

Well, sure, that's great
for you, Dorothy,

but what about me?

Rose. Rose, you used my name.
You remember?

Right!

Well, then, I'm fine too.

I'm fine!
Oh, thank you, God.

I wish you'd told me
on the phone.

The last couple of hours
were the hardest. I know.

But even people
who test negative

often need more counseling.

Oh, I feel wonderful.
I feel great!

Well, evidently, you had all the
emotional support you needed.

I know what
you've been through.

I'm very happy
things turned out.

Thank you, Doctor.

Hey!

Oh! Oh, he's right.

You guys were terrific.

Thank you
for being there for me.

And thank you for making me feel
you'd always be there for me,

no matter what happened.

Bet you'd like to go
home and rest. No!

I haven't felt like I've been
living for the last three days.

I want to go with you
to the fundraiser.

Great!
It's going to be a success.

Ma must have stuffed and mailed
over 500 invitations.

"Stuffed"?