All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 05x16 - Clinton Avenue Memoirs

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend"

Woe is me.
Woe, O, woe is me!

Problem, Blanche?

Yes. It's my hair -

it has split ends,
it's dull and listless,

it makes my face look...

Its age?

If you're gonna make fun
of somebody, make fun of Rose.

I need the professional care

of the most talented
hairdresser in Miami -

Robert. Oh, he's brilliant.

Do you know he was the first
one ever to use mousse?

I'd check my facts
if I were you, Blanche.

Mr. Ingrid of St. Olaf

has been using moose
ever since I can remember.

Of course, it's his own
professional secret

which part of the moose
he uses.

But it'll keep your hair
in place

in winds up to
130 miles an hour.

I just don't believe you, Rose!

Ask Conway Twitty.

The problem is,
Robert charges $300,

and it's just not
in my budget this month.

Oh, that's the trouble
with being beautiful -

the maintenance will kill you.

I have an idea, Blanche.

How about moonlighting
and making some extra money?

Another job?

Rose, I already work
my fingers to the bone

12 hours a week at the museum.

"Picasso on your left,
snack bar downstairs."

It's a wonder
I'm not an alcoholic.

What I meant was,
how about working for me?

I'm swamped with this
project for Enrique Mas,

and there is money
for an assistant.

Tell me more.

Well, we're
compiling statistics

on supplemental healthcare
for seniors.

Some companies
are preying on fear

and then using loopholes
to avoid paying claims.

For someone on fixed income,
it's a matter of life and death.

By "Tell me more,"
I mean, "Does it pay $300?"

Well, I suppose that'd be OK.

But I can't believe,
with something this important,

that you are still
so self-centered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Count me in.

Dorothy, can you drive me
to the mall Friday night?

They're giving free
blood pressure tests,

and some of the girls and I
have a high-low bet.

Ma, honey, don't you remember?

Friday night we're planning
on having dinner

at Joe's Stone Crab.

Oh? It's your wedding
anniversary.

Oh, yeah, right.
Sounds nice.

Ma, you didn't forget, did you?

Oh, forgive me,
I forgot something.

Maybe you should ship me
back to Shady Pines.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'll be in the living room
being feeble.

If I can find the living room!

(Blanche) Dorothy,
what just happened?

Well, weren't you listening?
Sophia came in and asked Dorothy

to drive her to the mall
for a blood pressure test.

And then Dorothy told Sophia
that they had a date

to go out to dinner Friday
night, and then Sophia said...

Would you hand me
the newspaper?

Oh.

No, the "Metro" section.

...that she
and the girls...

Hey, don't kill the messenger.

(sighs) It's Ma.

She's becoming more forgetful.

And she denies it
and she gets mad.

How bad is it?
Bad.

It's not just a matter
of small things anymore.

I can't believe
she forgot this dinner.

I mean, every year
since my father died,

I've been taking her
out to dinner

on her wedding anniversary,
because she's lonely.

Maybe you'd better talk
to her doctor about this.

You're right, Blanche.

I guess I've just been hoping

that things would
improve by themselves.

You know, I never thought
Ma would lose her memory.

Of course, I never thought

Alan Alda would
get on my nerves.

Ma, can we talk for a minute?

I'm going through
the family album.

I thought I'd pay
your father a visit.

Look, here we all are!

Your sweet sixteen party,
right?

Right!

Look at that beautiful
chiffon dress.

Yeah, your brother Phil always
did like to make a splash.

Ah, look!

The Jersey shore, summer 1939.

Pop sure loved
playing with you kids.

Why do I look so upset?

Oh, Ma, don't you remember?

Pop was a big fan
of Jean Harlow's back then.

You hated it when he made
sand breasts

in front of the children.

(chuckles) He was
really some character.

Oh, look at us.

Oh, boy, your father
sure looked stupid.

Stupid? Ma, this was one
of your favorite pictures.

Oh, Pop looks so proud.

The idiot's dressed
like an organ grinder.

Yes. Yes, he is.

Remember, we had no money,

and he refused
to go on assistance.

He vowed that he would take
any job to feed his family.

And we had meat
on the table every night.

I don't know he did it
on 10 cents a day.

Where's the monkey?

Oh, look, there you are,
stirring sauce.

Ah, my old kitchen.
Yeah.

And there are the
potholders Grandma made,

your pasta maker.

Ah, the pantry.

Remember what Pop kept
behind the pantry door?

Yeah, he carved
a giant heart there

that said "Sal loves Sophia."

No, Ma, it was
our height measurements.

He kept track of them on the
back of the pantry door.

Dorothy, that was
my kitchen, that was my Sal,

and he put the heart there
because he loved me.

That I remember!

I'm sure you do.

Listen, Ma...

why don't we talk
to your doctor

and see what
he has to say, hmm?

Yeah, well... maybe.

I don't remember
half these photos.

I don't remember Brooklyn.

I don't even remember you
going off to your senior prom.

Ma, I never went
to my senior prom.

Actually, I did remember that,

but why should I be the only
one here to feel like crap?

Hi.

Blanche, I thought you
were gonna be working.

You don't think playing three sets
of tennis in this heat is work?

When are you gonna get
the survey done?

Rose, let me explain something.

Now, in this world,
there are two kinds of people.

One is an industrious,
hardworking, give 100%,

pain-in-the-butt-to-
everybody-else go-getter.

I am not one of those people.

Gee, I wish I felt better
about this.

Well, I wish you did, too.

Sophia, Dorothy, how did it
go at the doctor's?

It was great.

He said
that Ma's memory problem

could be related
to a nutritional imbalance,

so he put her on a special
diet, and if she follows it,

she'll be fine
from here on out.

Oh, lucky me, I can
remember from now on.

My whole past is gone!

I could have slept with JFK
and don't even know it!

Ma, I don't think so.

You're not mentioned
in any of the books.

Well, that doesn't
necessarily mean anything.

Ma, come on, now.

He also said that there are
things that you can do

that might bring back
some of what you've lost.

I mean, we could talk
about the good old days,

reminisce with old friends.

Honey, you have to look
on the bright side.

I've had a lifetime
of bright sides.

I'll just have to learn
to do without them.

Oh, dammit.

I hate watching what this
is doing to her.

I hate watching
what it's doing to you.

I hate watching
those FBI warnings

at the beginning
of video rentals.

Oh, hello, sir.

I am conducting a phone survey

regarding healthcare
for the elderly.

May I ask your age?

That's not so old!

And what's your general health?

That's good.

What would you say is
your annual income?

Oh, that's very good!

Marital status?

Oh, I am sorry. How long?

Three weeks!

I'd say it was time you were
getting on with your life, honey.

Thank you very much.

Blanche, marital status is not
a question on the survey.

Well, I'm sorry, Rose, but
I ask a man 20 questions,

you can bet your life one of 'em's
gonna be, "Are you married?"

I can't believe it!
Haven't you done anything?

Of course I have.
Do you see this big stack right here?

Well, just behind it
is what I have done.

It's only one survey,
but I'm very proud of it.

I should've known
this was gonna happen.

You should never work
with friends.

You're fired.

You can't fire me.

That's against the law -
that's sex discrimination.

Oh.

Well, I'll give you
one more chance.

Wait a minute! How is it
sex discrimination?

That's what I was doing
this afternoon

when I didn't get
this work done.

How's Sophia?
I don't know.

Today's her anniversary.
She won't come out of her room.

I've never seen her like this.

She is really depressed.

Adios!
Everybody wave goodbye!

I'm off to Brooklyn!

Honey, what are you doing?

I'm going back
to the old neighborhood.

The doctor said it would help
if I stirred up some memories.

Ma, you can't
go back there alone!

No kidding. I'm 83.
I walk to the driveway,

it's a coin toss
whether I get back.

You're coming with me.

I am?

What the hell? You paid!

Look, I can deal with
losing some of my memory.

If I didn't have to remember what's-her-name
over here, I wouldn't care.

But Sal was the most important
person in my life,

and scrapbooks aren't
doing the trick.

OK, Ma, if this is what
you really want to do...

It's not what I want to do,
it's what I have to do.

Dorothy, today is
my anniversary,

and I barely remember
getting married.

You know, I hate getting old.

You always seem to be
losing something.

First it's your eyesight.

Then people are telling you
to turn down the TV set

when you can barely hear it.

And you could live
with that. But this?

They're trying to take something
from me that I just won't give.

I can't let this happen,
Dorothy.

I can't lose my Sal.

Not again.

Isn't it good to be back in the
old neighborhood, Dorothy?

Watching the kids playing
stickball on the corner?

Ma, they were beating a man.

That was sort of why
I called the police.

Ah, they were just
having a good time.

(doorbell rings)

Now, look, Ma, I don't
want you to be disappointed

if the new tenants
don't let us in.

Buenos días.

Oh, God!

I'm Dorothy Zbornak.
This is my mother, Mrs. Petrillo.

I know this is going
to sound odd,

but we used to live here
many, many years ago,

and we were hoping
that we could look around -

you know, for old times' sake.

Would that be possible?

Petrillo?

They let Italians live here?!

Look, we came all the way
from Miami. Please?

OK. But don't take
anything.

I'm meeting my family, so I can
only give you a little while.

We appreciate it very much.

You see, my mother is
having a memory problem.

We were hoping that if we
looked around the apartment...

There's no need to explain.

I have an elderly
mother myself.

Oh, One more thing.
Yes?

Don't take anything.

Dorothy, look -
my old wallpaper.

Oh, God, it feels the same.

And that big old window
I used to look out of.

Oh, Ma, I remember
when I was a little girl

playing out in the street.

I can still hear your voice.
"Dorothy, fix your dress -

the whole neighborhood
can see your business."

Sounds like me.

Ma, we don't have
too much time.

OK, let's get in the kitchen.

I want to show you that heart
your father carved for me

and prove to you
I'm not totally crazy.

Ma, remember,
it's only a carving.

Don't put all your eggs
in one basket.

Hey, I may be fading,
but that's the sweetest thing

that man ever did for me.

I know that heart's
behind the door.

I can't believe it!

They must have sanded it off.

No, Ma. No, no.

See, Ma, it's our height chart.

You can see it
through the paint.

See? Here's Phil,
Gloria, me.

I could have sworn...

I would have bet my life on it.

Oh, Ma, there are so many
memories in this apartment.

Don't be so down.

You remember the day you brought
Phil back from the hospital?

I was a little upset,
because that was the day

Pop usually took me to the zoo.

Well, it was the racetrack,
but he called it the zoo.

You kept Phil in this room
because it was the warmest room.

And I guess I was a little
starved for attention,

because I remember...

Oh, Salvadore,
isn't he beautiful?

A piece of art.

But what do you have him in
Dorothy's hand-me-downs for?

So he wears girls' clothes for a
while - what's it gonna hurt?

Dorothy!

Sal, do something
about your daughter.

Dorothy, come over here.

We know you're upset
about the new baby,

but we need for you
to be a big girl.

Your mother's had a rough week.
First I'm called away,

and then the baby's
delivered by a cabby.

Cesarean!

Now I know you think Phil
here's taken your place.

Well, I wanna tell you
something.

I love you more than anything.

Even more than the Dodgers
on five-cent beer night?

OK, even more than that.

Wow!

Daddy, I love you.

I love you, too, kiddo.

Come on, let's go to the zoo.

I got a tip on a giraffe
in the sixth race.

Heh heh!

Pop sure taught me a lot about
sibling rivalry that day.

When we got home
I went right over

to the baby and said,
"I love you, Phil."

No, wait. I wrote it on him.

Here you go, Rose.
Finished my work.

Well, turn me upside down
and paint me blue!

Well, give me my money.

Look, I'm sorry we fought
the way we did,

but this work for senior healthcare
is very important to me,

and I was hoping
it would be to you, too.

Well, it wasn't, but it is now.

It is?
How could I help it?

After I looked through
the paperwork,

I realized how expensive
healthcare is for the elderly.

You know, some folks have
lost their life savings.

I mean, people ought to write
their congressman or something.

In fact, I am so touched,
when you cut my check,

don't make it out to me.

That's beautiful, Blanche.

Make it out
to "Hair by Robert."

I'm not gonna
declare it as income

and let those lazy congressmen
have my tax dollars!

Blanche, I don't wanna do that.

Oh. Well, all right,
just pay me under the table.

Oh, sure! I know that trick.

Dorothy's done that
to me before.

I go under the table
and you never show up.

No way!

Boy, this room is sure
alive with memories.

Those were good days.

I think I'll go up
to the bedroom.

Sal and I spent our most
intimate moments there.

Ma... Ma, is there anything
I can do for you?

Yeah, stay out. You barged in on
me enough when you were a kid.

Sally, what's going on?

What's wrong with me?

You think you got problems?
Try being dead. Heh heh.

Sal! What the hell
are you doing here?

Relax. I'm not really here.

I'm just a Fig Newton
of your imagination.

Oh, Sal, it's been so long,
I've forgotten

how much you used
to like Norm Crosby.

So, how are things?
"How are things?"!

Sal, talk to me.
How are you? What's new?

What's heaven like?

You know, everyone thinks
heaven is right above.

Actually, it's a little more
to the left.

What's God like?

Nice.
You should see his car!

Oh, before I forget,
Gladys says hello.

You fooling around with Gladys?

Of course not.

Gladys is going out
with Charlemagne.

Sophia, I see from upstairs

you've kind of lost your spunk.

What's the matter?

I'm slipping, Sal,
and it's frightening.

I'm even forgetting you,
forgetting the good old days.

And what, I'm supposed
to feel sorry for you?

That'd be a start!

Nah, the Sophia I know
is a survivor.

That's why we got married.

You beat out
a lot of other women.

Oh, yeah, there was
a helluva long line

waiting to get to you, Sal!

What's the name of that girl
with the warts?

You see? Some things
you do remember.

Yeah, but only some things.

I'm 83, Sal. I don't have
the energy for this.

You have lost your spunk.

You know, maybe I don't find
you so attractive anymore.

What?!

You're not the same Sophia.

I wonder how Gladys
and Charlemagne are doing.

Sure, the guy rewrote history,
but can he juggle?

Salvadore Petrillo,
you miserable botchagaloop!

If you so much as look
at another ghost...

See? There's the spunk.

It's still there.
But use it for yourself, not on me.

You think I can be OK?

If I didn't, would I
have made the trip?

I miss you, Sally.

Hey, I'm always with you.

And when the time's right,
see you at my place.

Ma. Ma, Mr. Hernandez
has to go.

I'm meeting the wife and kids.

We are going ice-skating.

Dorothy! Oh, my God!
Can you believe it?

Hey, Puerto Ricans
can ice-skate! Jeez!

Dorothy!

Dorothy, look!

It's the carving.
See? "Sal loves Sophia."

Oh, Ma!

You're Sophia? That's right.
And I remembered.

I mixed up the rooms,
but I remembered.

Of course. I thought the
carving was in the kitchen.

Sal used to hang
his salamis in here.

Dorothy, I may be fading,

but I'm still holding on
to some of the big things.

Yeah, and you might get
more back.

"Might"? I insist!

All I need
is a little more spunk.

Imagine finding
that carving in here!

Kitchen, bedroom -

I knew it was a room
I was good in!

(kiss)