Original subtitles

Don't tell me about my visa!

My wife is stuck in that hellhole,

and I am getting on that plane!

It's bad, Joe.

They're evacuating the villages.

The roads are washed out.

We're hearing gunfire now.

Can you... can you get to Calamar?

Can you get across the border to Colombia?

They're putting us on the bus.

I don't know where they're taking us.

Joe?

Joe?

Emily?

Em...

Aaah!

Aah!

Emily Darrow was not just a doctor

and a credit to the medical profession,

she was a healer and a credit to the human race.

Those who knew her were changed by her,

inspired by her commitment

to give literally everything of herself,

which is why we're gathered here today,

to celebrate this unique life

not so much taken from us as given to us.

From her colleagues at the university

to her young patients

here in Chicago Memorial's pediatric-oncology ward,

she will be sorely missed.

We're told in medical school

that the face of an emergency-room doctor

is the last thing a lot of people will ever see.

I've tried to keep that in mind

when I see those frightened eyes staring out at me.

But I don't know what Emily saw,

what image she took with her,

if there was a compassionate face

or she died in a world of chaos,

and that I don't know this haunts me.

The divers saw inside, seńor.

There is no one alive.

Then where is she? Where's her body?

We are searching the shoreline and jungle now,

but the bus is under 10 feet of water.

The river runs at 17 miles an hour, seńor.

There is nothing you can do.

Por favor, go home.

I'm not going anywhere,

not till this is over.

I assure you, seńor... it's over.

Call me when you have something. Yes.

- No vitals, no pulse. - Put him in E.R.3 on the left.

- What are you doing here? - I was paged. What do we have?

Wasn't this morning your wife's memorial service?

There's nothing I can do for her, okay,

except keep anyone from joining her.

- Now, what do we have? - 6-car pileup.

11 injuries... 4 went over to County, and 6 are coming here.

- All right, let's go. - Watch your back.

All right, stay with me. How extensive?

Third degree... 40%, maybe 50%.

- Couldn't tube him? - Airway's crushed. Couldn't do a cric.

Pronounce him.

Hit the windshield.

All right, that's a blowout fracture.

Get a C.T. Find out what else he's got.

What's this?

O.D., attempted suicide.

All right, give her to Simon.

I'm interested in people who want to live tonight.

What's her term?

She hit the steering wheel.

How pregnant? Anybody know?

She looks no more than six months to me.

Well, she's souring. Let's get it out.

At six months?

It might have a chance but not in there.

Look at her color.

It's still got a heartbeat.

Let's get it out of there.

This requires a consultation, Joe.

Yeah, and let's order out for pizza while we're at it. Move!

There's a procedure in place for terminating a pregnancy, Joe.

I'm not terminating a pregnancy, I'm delivering a baby.

Get prenatal down here now.

It was the right call.

Delivering a technically unviable fetus by cesarean section

without consultation or permission of the mother...

Who was dead.

Not officially.

The baby's alive, Hugh.

I'm concerned, Joe. So is the rest of the staff.

You refused to treat a suicide today.

I passed her on to Simon.

As though she were unworthy of you.

Can we discuss this tomorrow?

Since Emily's death,

you have been working around the clock,

24-hour shifts, I'm told, 7 days a week.

Think I'm losing my edge?

Just the opposite... it's getting too sharp.

You're starting to cut people around here.

You need time off.

You need to grieve.

- I need to grieve? - Mm-hmm.

I am serious, Joe.

Take that time off.

Was it you who reported me...

passing on the suicide?

How's she doing?

She's waiting for a bed on the psych ward.

Why did you do this to me?

Do what to you?

Bring me back.

Where were you going?

Someplace better.

Is that right?

I'll do it again, too.

It's all I want now.

Well, unfortunately, your heart disagrees.

It's waged quite a battle tonight.

No one knows my heart.

Maybe that's why it's still beating...

to give somebody a chance to.

Let me tell you about that ''better place''

you think you're going to.

You better be damn sure it's there,

'cause crappy as this place is,

it's all there is.

So go ahead,

be my guest...

but when you never wake up again,

don't say I didn't warn you.

Hi, Father.

Time for a rebuttal?

''And on her footfall,

''in the rustle of leaves,

''her whisper on the wind,

she speaks from a place beyond mortal pain.''

Hey, look who's here. Joe!

- Hey, you! - Nice timing!

You're just in time to finish the toast.

Here, pour him a beer.

Linda, can I have another one, please?

Hey, Joe, ''Rachel in Heaven''...

remember that poem, third-year lit class? Remember?

Yeah.

To Emily.

- To Emily. - Emily.

How are things in the hospital?

You know, I don't know why we try so hard to save them

if they've got such a wonderful place to go

like ''Rachel in Heaven.''

Well, that's where Emily is.

You can bet on that.

If anyone deserved to go there, it was her.

- Hear, hear. She was the best of us. - The best of us.

I don't know what the hell she saw in you, though.

Lord knows I tried for years to talk her out of it.

She was the best of us,

and I have no idea what she saw in me.

She saw the second best of us.

Come on, you guys were a great team.

She was the heart, you were the mind.

Together, you were unbeatable.

Where are you, Joe?

Nowhere.

I'm gonna go.

- Aw, come on, man. - Please, stay. - You just got here.

Like you said, Eric, I'm a mind without a heart.

Joe, come on.

Joe, I... that's not...

Don't leave, Joe.

Buddy, that is not what I meant.

I know you didn't mean that,

but you were right on, buddy,

and I love you anyway... all of you.

Thank you for coming today.

See ya.

Hey, doc.

Hey, Miriam.

Sorry I missed the service.

I didn't want to cough all over everybody.

Was it nice?

I guess.

I couldn't handle it.

Well, then you're not gonna do too good with this.

They needed somebody to sign for it.

I didn't want to leave it out in the rain.

It's a toy company in Texas.

That'll teach her to shop the Internet.

Yeah, that'll teach her.

You'd think a professor of law

could be more precise with her language.

It's all right. You have a good night.

Hey, I saw through the kitchen window

Bigbird didn't eat again.

Should he go back to the vet?

The vet said Bigbird will outlive us all.

Hey, Joe, it's Hal. I forgot to tell you...

we are going on that white-water trip.

You got to come, Joe.

Don't leave me alone with these guys.

I sent you a packet, okay?

- See you, buddy. - Love you.

Sound good, Bigbird?

Want to go rafting with my old college chums?

Nice to see you, too.

Why is that funny?

I just don't picture you with a beak, I guess.

Well, all right.

Well, then just imagine soaring around with me up there, flying.

- If you do, you're on your own. - Why?

Because eagles eat bunny rabbits.

I'm a vegetarian.

- In your next life, too? - Yes.

Do you mean if you got a chance to come back,

you'd want to be earthbound again?

No.

I'll fly around with you up there,

but you know what I'm gonna be.

Yeah, but...

if I'm a bird and you're an insect...

Yeah?

How are we gonna...

you know... you know?

We'll just have to do enough of that

in this lifetime to make up for the next 1 0.

I'm going because I have to, Joe,

because it's who I am, who we are,

what we dedicated our lives to.

Oh, for God sakes, Emily, you're pregnant.

We addressed this, Joe, when we first met,

that we'd pack our kids in on our backs if we had to

to show them what was important, to teach them our values.

It was naive, Emily, all right?

It was naive.

Our values?

I'm needed there, Joe, and I'm going...

whether you choose to or not.

So, this thing was a paperweight?

Yes.

It was a present I gave her for Valentine's Day.

It's got to weigh half a pound,

and it was squarely... I mean squarely...

on the bedside table when I went to sleep.

So what are you saying?

I don't know. Nothing, I guess.

Just that...

dragonflies were sort of her thing,

you know, like a personal totem.

You know, how Indians have buffalo heads

or tiger heads or hawks.

Hers was a dragonfly.

She even had this small birthmark on her shoulder

that kind of looked like one.

She said her grandfather had one, too, on his...

on his butt.

It's called familial hemangioma.

I once skunked an entire graduating class

by putting it on a final exam.

Dr. Fitzgerald, you have a visitor in the main lobby.

And when she was alive,

I had to scour for anything I could find

with a dragonfly on it to buy her a present.

Now... now I see them everywhere.

There was one... there was one bouncing

against my office window yesterday,

a real one.

Last night, a package arrived

she had bought over the Internet...

a mobile to put on the baby's crib of dragonflies.

And then this thing last night with the paperweight.

You know what I think?

I think you are literally going buggy

living in that house.

Yeah, you should move.

You're rummaging around in an empty nursery.

You're living with a talking parrot

who won't even speak to you?

Never would. Never liked me.

Would only talk to Emily.

She even taught it to announce her arrival

when she came in the door.

Honey... honey, I'm home.

You ought to sell that thing, Joe, get rid of it.

I'm stuck with it.

I promised her I'd keep it forever,

and I put a provision in my will

that if anything ever happened to me,

someone I trusted would take care of it.

Would you?

Would you?

Oh, no, it's your promise, buddy, it's not mine.

I need to live up to my promises to her.

That's one thing I need to do.

Okay, fine.

Any other promises that I should know about?

Just one, but I'm taking care of that one myself,

starting... today.

Hi, Joe.

Hugh.

I was kind of hoping

that you took our conversations seriously.

I did.

I convinced Joe to take a couple of months off

with all that's happened, right, Joe?

I promised Emily I'd look in on her kids on the oncology ward

while she was gone and never did.

I thought this might be a good day.

After six months, on oncology?

I'm not sure how many are left,

but if it's for Emily, fine.

Asshole.

You should get away, Joe.

lsn't there someplace you can go?

Dr. Bond to radiology.

Dr. Bond to radiology.

Dr. Johnson to I.C.U.

Dr. Winston, report to second-floor nurses' station.

Dr. Winston, report to second-floor nurses' station.

Dr. Mace, please call the O.R.

Dr. Mace, please call the O.R.

Joe!

Joe!

Joe!

Joe!

Joe, can't you hear me?

Joe!

Joe!

All right, hold CPR.

I'm getting nothing.

Continue it. Shock him at 30.

- Come on, Jeffrey, hang in there, boy. - Keep it going.

Clear!

Still nothing. Charging to 60.

- Shock him. - Clear!

Nothing.

- Go again. - He's not responding.

- There's no pulse at all. - He's not coming back this time.

Damn it, do it again!

Clear!

He's gone.

He's got a rhythm.

He's back! Jump on it!

He's coming back!

Yes, Jeffrey, yes!

- Do you need to be here? - Put that O 2 mask on.

Clear the room, please. Get me an E.K.G.

Doctor, you'll have to leave.

Don't let him pull out that I.V.

Jeffrey? Jeffrey, can you hear me?

How's he look? Pupils reactive?

I just came on. What happened?

They're stabilizing him.

He flatlined, then his heart started again.

That's our Jeffrey.

His heart's stopped more times

than anyone in the history of medical science, I think.

He'll come out of there with all kinds of stories

about who he met in the tunnel and what they said.

Hi, I'm Dr. Darrow from emergency.

I know who you are.

The hospital administrator

heard that you got in the way in I.C.U. yesterday

and asked to be notified if you came back here again.

The boy who was being resuscitated last night,

um, Jeffrey...

Reardon.

Right. Is he... is he still on the floor?

Mm-hmm. He was one of your wife's favorites.

Actually, that's why I'm here.

I promised I'd look in on her kids,

but there don't seem to be many left.

It'd be great if you could give me a little help,

maybe not put in that call

to the hospital administrator.

Between you and me, doctor,

the hospital administrator is...

how do I put it?...

I use the word ''asshole.''

That about captures it.

315.

He's a real trip. You'll love him.

Thanks.

Hello.

Hi.

How's he doing?

Great.

Nice.

What is it?

I couldn't say.

Guess.

All right.

A crucifix made of jello?

Man, you're good. He's good.

He hasn't stopped drawing them

since he got out of the I.C.U. yesterday.

So, what is it?

I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

I just woke up thinking about it.

I happened to be in the I.C.U. yesterday, Jeffrey.

I know. I saw you in there.

You saw me in there?

Yeah. You came in through the back of the room,

standing over my bed.

You saw me come over to your bed?

Pretty sure it was you, but the tie was different.

Jeffrey.

Could I ask...

We're not encouraged to discuss these things.

There was a nun on the ward

interviewing kids who'd had near-death experiences,

Sister Madeline from chaplain services.

Stirred up all kinds of trouble for the hospital

when some of it appeared on a TV tabloid show.

She never even talked to me,

and I got the best near-death experiences of anyone.

I'm allowed a coffee break

if there's a doctor with him.

In spite of hospital policy,

I-I think they need to talk about it.

You're scheduled for a CAT scan, Jeffrey.

Don't go without me.

So, what are we talking about here, Jeffrey?

What we shouldn't.

In the I.C.U. yesterday, when I approached your bed,

it seemed to me you were pretty...

I was flatlined.

Exactly.

So how could you look up and see me?

Couldn't.

- But you said... - I looked down.

- You looked down? - From the ceiling.

That's where I was when I saw you.

Okay.

Don't believe me?

Should l?

Ever see that little bald spot on the top of your head?

Bend down here.

Come on, bend down here.

Yeah, that was you.

Dr. Barclay...

Jeffrey, do you know my name?

You look like a... a William to me.

I'm a Joe.

Does it ring a bell?

Emily's Joe?

Joe Darrow.

I saw her yesterday, too.

What do you mean, Jeffrey, you saw her?

She was there.

Where?

All around me...

inside the rainbow...

the mist.

I was falling, falling through it...

u-until she caught me...

and brought me back up.

She kind of flew me.

She f-flew me out...

so I could come back...

and... and tell somebody something.

Tell what, Jeffrey?

To who?

Joe.

Tell me what, Jeffrey?

Tell Joe what?

It was loud in the rainbow,

like thunder in there.

Tell me what, Jeffrey?

I don't know.

You were calling my name.

Joe.

Joe!

Joe, can't you hear me?

Joe!

All right.

- Joe! - Jeffrey.

Joe!

Slow down. Whoa, whoa.

Look at my eyes. Look at my eyes.

Just breathe.

Just breathe a little bit, okay?

What happened?

I'm fine.

We were...

He wanted to know what happened yesterday.

Oh, his heart stopped again.

I know. I was there, actually.

He wanted to know what happened while it was stopped.

Oh. Telling one of his tall tales again,

trying to get on TV.

I'm gonna give him a dust mop next time

so he can sweep the ceiling while he's up there.

My daddy don't believe me.

He do the bald spot on you?

Yeah, it's... the...

It don't work on everybody,

just us bald guys, huh? Pshew.

Yeah, he got me with that one, too.

Dr. Ritzen, report to second-floor nurses' station.

You had me going there, Jeffrey.

It was the truth. You don't believe me?

Dr. Bock to radiology, please.

Dr. Bock to radiology.

What if I do remember... what she wants to tell you?

Then would you believe me?

Do you remember it?

If you come back, I might.

Uh, what who wants to tell him?

His wife... she wants me to tell him something.

Probably take out the trash, huh?

Dr. Johnson, call 499.

Dr. Johnson, call 499.

What?

He even had me believing

he saw my bald spot from the ceiling,

until I saw a mirror behind my head.

We can thank mom for those genes, right, dad?

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Joe,

but I can see your bald spot from here.

Oh, Connie.

I think bald is sexy.

- Really? - Yes.

I've got a parrot might turn you on.

Are you still living with that messy thing? Joe...

We're working on our relationship.

Is it a talking parrot?

A listening parrot.

A bird after my own heart.

That's what I do for a living... listen.

Really?

Gwyn's a grief counselor, Joe.

That's why I thought it might be a good idea for you two to meet.

Is that right?

In fact, I've heard a lot of clients

talk about the near-death experiences of their loved ones,

how they wake up talking about being in a dark tunnel,

moving toward the light.

And what's your thought on it?

I'm just your parrot, Joe. Just listening.

I can tell you as an eye surgeon, it's all very simple.

The tunnel is literal tunnel vision,

and the white light is the gradual bleaching out of the optic screen.

As it grows bigger, it would seem like you're moving toward it.

How do you explain their ability

to recall what everyone said around their deathbed

after they were declared dead,

to describe what the doctors were wearing,

down to the patterns on their ties?

It's the way we measure death.

Obviously, the brain is still functioning

on some subliminal level, soaking up all the last bits

of what's left to hear and see.

That's what you get for having dinner with a family of doctors.

No discussion about floating around on the ceiling,

- no tunnel, no bright lights. - I guess not.

Next thing they're gonna tell us... there's no tooth fairy.

The funny thing is,

I thought I heard him calling out for me...

this kid.

I heard his voice calling ''Joe. ''

And when I introduced myself to him,

he asked me if I was Emily's Joe.

He said that Emily was trying to reach me.

Do you believe she's trying to reach you, Joe?

No, counselor, I don't.

I can give you an hour for free.

Bye, Joe.

Do you want me to package up dessert for you?

Sorry. Use your phone?

Excuse me.

I am kind of busy at the moment, yeah.

Well, isn't there anyone else who can cover for me tonight?

All right, I understand. I'll be right over.

I'm sorry. I'd really like to stay...

No, you wouldn't. It's too threatening.

It's about unresolved issues

you're not ready to deal with yet.

Guilt, anger toward our loved ones...

that's why we conjure up spirits,

from the Virgin Mary to our dearly departed.

Because we need to talk to them,

not the other way around.

You asked if I thought she was trying to contact me, and I never answered.

Let me answer now.

She was my ultimate partner, my best friend and lover.

And I miss her beyond belief.

I also know I'm never gonna see her again, not ever.

And I'm just beginning to understand what that means so intensely

that I sometimes wish I didn't have to wake up anymore.

And the last thing I need is someone telling me

what to feel, or how to feel.

Anger? Yeah.

Guilt? You bet.

But I don't need you crawling up my ass with a flashlight

to tell me about it.

Keep going, Joe. This is what you need.