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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,479 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:53,241 --> 00:00:56,421 Hello, Sedona! 3 00:00:57,327 --> 00:00:58,726 Hello. 4 00:00:59,562 --> 00:01:00,773 Oh, my God. 5 00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:02,638 The sunsets out here. 6 00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:06,554 Oh, are they gorgeous or what? 7 00:01:07,351 --> 00:01:09,632 Okay, let's get to it. 8 00:01:10,368 --> 00:01:12,132 This evening, we're going to start 9 00:01:12,157 --> 00:01:14,140 with what we know is real. 10 00:01:14,585 --> 00:01:16,344 The present. 11 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:18,070 The now. 12 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:19,890 I want you to take a deep breath 13 00:01:19,915 --> 00:01:21,171 and say to yourself, 14 00:01:21,403 --> 00:01:25,187 "I am in the now." 15 00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,030 Do it. 16 00:01:27,182 --> 00:01:28,835 Let's say it together. 17 00:01:29,064 --> 00:01:31,664 - I am in the now. - I am in 18 00:01:31,689 --> 00:01:33,882 - the now. - Good. 19 00:01:34,436 --> 00:01:35,929 That's how I start every morning. 20 00:01:35,954 --> 00:01:39,695 I look in the mirror. I say hi to myself. 21 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,648 You do it. Say hi to yourself. 22 00:01:42,882 --> 00:01:45,039 - Hi. - This is your best friend. 23 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,453 I touch the mirror. 24 00:01:46,478 --> 00:01:49,265 Yes, I touch myself. 25 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:50,290 Yeah. 26 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,937 I tell myself, 27 00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:55,507 "You are my number one priority." 28 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,390 You do it. Tell yourself, 29 00:01:57,415 --> 00:01:59,061 "You are my number one priority." 30 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,609 You are my number one priority. 31 00:02:01,634 --> 00:02:02,802 "I love you." 32 00:02:02,827 --> 00:02:04,496 Do it. Say it. 33 00:02:04,521 --> 00:02:07,232 - Say to yourself, "I love you." - Uh... 34 00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:08,257 Oh, shit. 35 00:02:08,282 --> 00:02:10,973 - Oh! Oh, God. Sorry. - Mom! 36 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,460 How did you get in here? 37 00:02:12,485 --> 00:02:15,054 Well, I've got a key, honey. I bought this place. 38 00:02:16,056 --> 00:02:17,616 Well, knock. 39 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,875 How do you like this outfit? 40 00:02:20,695 --> 00:02:22,070 Looks beautiful. 41 00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:24,593 - It's nice. I... - Are you gonna be long? 42 00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:26,171 No, Mother. I'm not gonna be much longer. 43 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,281 Take your time. 44 00:02:32,079 --> 00:02:33,747 - No. - Oh, that's terrible. 45 00:02:33,772 --> 00:02:35,421 - Hi, Chip. - Oh. 46 00:02:35,651 --> 00:02:36,703 Hey, honey. 47 00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:39,039 We're right in the middle of gown shopping 48 00:02:39,064 --> 00:02:40,109 for the wedding. 49 00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:42,571 Hey, there was a sale, and I got you something. 50 00:02:42,671 --> 00:02:43,671 Whoo-hoo. 51 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,484 Try it on. I think you'll like it. 52 00:02:45,509 --> 00:02:46,773 I'll be right back, girls. 53 00:02:46,798 --> 00:02:48,234 - Thanks, Mom. - Okay. 54 00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:49,789 - Hi there. - Hi, ladies. 55 00:02:49,814 --> 00:02:53,062 You know, between her place and the rodeo and your place, 56 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:55,679 Christine has a bathroom everywhere in town. 57 00:02:55,704 --> 00:02:56,704 Yeah. 58 00:02:59,117 --> 00:03:02,015 Oh, beautiful apartment, Chip. 59 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,656 Oh, thank you. It's actually a condo. 60 00:03:03,858 --> 00:03:05,539 - Oh... - Oh... 61 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,726 Christine has been telling us 62 00:03:07,751 --> 00:03:10,187 what a good little helper you've been at the rodeo. 63 00:03:10,455 --> 00:03:11,750 You're up, Joan. 64 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,796 Oh, good. 65 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:17,359 - Whoo-hoo! - Oh, you look so cute. 66 00:03:17,493 --> 00:03:18,906 Are you ready for school? 67 00:03:19,235 --> 00:03:21,085 That's what it reminds me of. 68 00:03:21,223 --> 00:03:23,859 Oh, I miss you. You know, that house we're in, 69 00:03:23,884 --> 00:03:25,945 it's so big and lonesome. 70 00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:29,187 Why don't we all get together for dinner on Sunday? 71 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,533 We'll go to that Chinese place by the Crystal Palace. 72 00:03:32,558 --> 00:03:34,890 I'll look at my work schedule. Maybe I can pencil something in. 73 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,703 - I think it would be so much fun. - Yeah. 74 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,226 Remember all the dinners we used to have? 75 00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,710 We never went to dinners. 76 00:03:40,735 --> 00:03:42,523 Well, we wanted to. 77 00:03:42,548 --> 00:03:44,171 - Your turn. - Oh, good. 78 00:03:44,196 --> 00:03:46,406 Oh. How 'bout those knobs? 79 00:03:46,431 --> 00:03:48,367 Oh, my God, they were gorgeous. 80 00:03:48,392 --> 00:03:51,261 - You just passing through? - Maggie! Let's go. 81 00:03:51,286 --> 00:03:53,210 Big Gowns is gonna close. 82 00:03:53,235 --> 00:03:55,125 - Honey, there's no TP in there. - Oh, my God. 83 00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,859 Oh, God, you'll have to go over there. 84 00:03:56,884 --> 00:03:58,781 - I cannot miss this place. - Bye, Chip. 85 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,140 - It's my favorite. - Let's go. Bye, honey. 86 00:04:00,165 --> 00:04:01,201 Bye, honey. 87 00:04:01,226 --> 00:04:02,523 Bye, Mom. Thanks for stopping by 88 00:04:02,548 --> 00:04:03,696 and using my toilet. 89 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,734 - Sarah! - Mom... 90 00:04:08,355 --> 00:04:10,289 Hey, princess, come on. 91 00:04:10,314 --> 00:04:12,249 I'm talking to my daughter, Nicole, not you. 92 00:04:12,274 --> 00:04:14,421 You can just push that copper tubing to the side. 93 00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,125 - Yep, like that. - Dale, 94 00:04:16,188 --> 00:04:18,326 Sarah's failed her last two history exams. 95 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,406 Well, who cares? I mean, the California school system, 96 00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:22,812 all they teach you about is that we came from chimpanzees, 97 00:04:22,837 --> 00:04:24,085 and about sharing. 98 00:04:24,507 --> 00:04:25,531 I'll learn her. 99 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:26,976 I'll make sure she's learned. 100 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,001 Right, Sarah? 101 00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:31,968 Uh, can we just go? 102 00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:34,445 - We're gonna go. - It's that phone. 103 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:35,679 If she didn't spend so much time 104 00:04:35,704 --> 00:04:36,859 taking pictures of herself on it... 105 00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:38,321 I am not always taking pictures of myself. 106 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,703 Mom's just being a total bitch. 107 00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:41,765 - Do not talk to me like that. - Yeah, well, 108 00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:42,898 I'm living with Dad now, so you 109 00:04:42,923 --> 00:04:44,265 - can't tell me what to do. - Ooh. 110 00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:46,703 - I'm done. - Emojis are just popular now. 111 00:04:46,728 --> 00:04:48,546 You have to live with it. Hey, sweetie. 112 00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:50,109 You want to come live with Daddy, too? 113 00:04:50,493 --> 00:04:51,493 No. 114 00:04:54,179 --> 00:04:56,586 The youngest is always the most disappointing. 115 00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:59,813 ♪ I drink one for my baby ♪ 116 00:04:59,838 --> 00:05:00,985 ♪ Who is long gone... ♪ 117 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,978 Uh, the guy that lives in that RV right there, 118 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,486 his name is Walter Scruggs. 119 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,228 He's a very interesting man. 120 00:05:07,081 --> 00:05:10,330 And, uh, that's our place right there. 121 00:05:10,864 --> 00:05:11,864 That's our RV. 122 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:14,424 Are we in a trailer park? 123 00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:18,259 Uh... well, that's one way of looking at it, yes. 124 00:05:19,796 --> 00:05:21,033 Great. 125 00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:22,338 Well, I'd love to show you the place. 126 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,009 It smells just like Febreze, so you'll love it. 127 00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,034 Come on in. 128 00:05:29,878 --> 00:05:31,613 Dad, the lights don't even work. 129 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:32,916 Hold on. 130 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,986 I run my lights on clean, off-the-grid diesel. 131 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,342 They on? 132 00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,368 Yeah. 133 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,525 Pretty cool space in there, isn't it? 134 00:05:46,999 --> 00:05:48,228 Yeah, pretty cool. 135 00:05:48,994 --> 00:05:51,111 You know the voice that plays inside your head... 136 00:05:51,136 --> 00:05:53,025 What you like, what you dislike? 137 00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:54,869 Where do you think that voice came from? 138 00:05:54,894 --> 00:05:57,766 Is it really you, or is it your mom? 139 00:05:57,994 --> 00:05:59,593 Or it could be your sister or brother. 140 00:05:59,619 --> 00:06:02,603 It could be you but when you were nine years old. 141 00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:04,939 Now, would you take advice from a nine-year-old? 142 00:06:06,357 --> 00:06:08,736 These voices make a map. Go left, go right. 143 00:06:08,761 --> 00:06:11,252 Avoid this situation, take that situation. 144 00:06:11,908 --> 00:06:14,283 But it's not even your map. 145 00:06:14,822 --> 00:06:17,650 So what we're going to do is we're going to build a new you, 146 00:06:17,675 --> 00:06:21,400 a new map, by bringing all of you into the present. 147 00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:23,134 No more voices from the past. 148 00:06:23,159 --> 00:06:24,968 We're gonna go a different way. 149 00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:27,533 Oh, hey, Chrysanthemum. 150 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,947 - Gosh. Hey, Martha. - Hey, Chip. 151 00:06:34,198 --> 00:06:35,572 Um, could I ask you a question? 152 00:06:36,493 --> 00:06:38,079 How would you describe me? 153 00:06:38,863 --> 00:06:39,863 Hmm. 154 00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:42,462 Uh, male, white... 155 00:06:43,587 --> 00:06:45,180 ... uh, swarthy. 156 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,822 About five-two. 157 00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,712 - Five-two? - Yeah. 158 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,767 Martha, I'm five-eight and a quarter. 159 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,345 My God, get your eyesight checked. 160 00:06:53,370 --> 00:06:54,962 I don't mean physically, I mean, like... 161 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,806 what is the energy that I put out there? 162 00:06:58,276 --> 00:07:02,047 Oh, you're listening to Tammy's Live in Sedona, aren't you? 163 00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:04,439 - You're doing the friend quiz. - No. 164 00:07:05,345 --> 00:07:07,533 Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am doing that. 165 00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:09,876 Okay, Chip Baskets. 166 00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:11,915 Um, he's a clown. 167 00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:15,158 A clown with a condo. 168 00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:17,720 Um, you're really good at helping people. 169 00:07:18,217 --> 00:07:21,876 Like your mom, and that couple with a baby, and me. 170 00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:25,447 - A helper. So I'm a helper? - Yeah. 171 00:07:25,472 --> 00:07:27,273 That's it? I just help people? 172 00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:30,228 Like that glove on television that helps hamburgers. Great. 173 00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,986 Yeah, well, Hamburger Helper has helped 174 00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:35,111 a lot of moms make dinner. 175 00:07:35,399 --> 00:07:37,095 I don't know what you want me to say. 176 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,948 - Who do you think you are? - I guess I'm just misunderstood, 177 00:07:38,973 --> 00:07:41,002 - that's all. Thanks. - Okay, well... 178 00:07:41,269 --> 00:07:42,502 Excuse me. 179 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,901 Thanks for coming by. 180 00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:52,447 God, I hate dogs. 181 00:07:52,596 --> 00:07:54,704 Any animal, any kind of animals... where was I? 182 00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:55,877 Oh, yeah, I was telling you, 183 00:07:55,902 --> 00:07:59,354 I control the, the Wi-Fi modem here at the RV park, 184 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,557 so it kind of makes me the king of the park, 185 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,104 and you would be my, my princess... hey, guys. 186 00:08:04,129 --> 00:08:05,565 Please don't call me "princess." 187 00:08:06,635 --> 00:08:07,680 These are some of my friends 188 00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,165 that I do a lot of my fellowshipping with. 189 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,477 Uh, this is Sarah. 190 00:08:10,502 --> 00:08:12,493 - Hi. - Wow. Nice work, Dale. 191 00:08:12,518 --> 00:08:13,526 Nice work. 192 00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,557 - Oh, my God. - Wallis, she's my daughter. 193 00:08:16,549 --> 00:08:19,284 I know. Nice work parenting, whatnot. 194 00:08:20,485 --> 00:08:22,276 And, uh, right here, this is Duane. 195 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,657 He's got a Facebook Live page about the end of the world. 196 00:08:24,682 --> 00:08:26,406 - It's really interesting stuff. - Cool. 197 00:08:26,431 --> 00:08:27,713 Chinese are gonna flood it. 198 00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:29,172 Whole thing's gonna be a beach. 199 00:08:29,335 --> 00:08:31,002 Dead fish flopping all over. 200 00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,027 Menthol? 201 00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:33,627 Uh, I don't smoke. 202 00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:35,309 Well, don't poo-poo it. 203 00:08:35,444 --> 00:08:36,812 It works out for some women. 204 00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:37,948 Keeps 'em thin. 205 00:08:39,471 --> 00:08:40,682 Cool rabbit. 206 00:08:40,707 --> 00:08:42,979 - Uh, does it have a name? - Dinner. 207 00:08:43,994 --> 00:08:45,502 You want to see something even cooler? 208 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,698 Oh, this is my boy, Wally Jr. 209 00:08:49,205 --> 00:08:50,931 Hi. I'm-I'm Sarah. 210 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,674 - Hey. - Uh, who's this? 211 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,284 Uh, this is Sally Sue. 212 00:08:54,309 --> 00:08:55,649 - Hi. - You want to hold her? 213 00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:56,674 - Can I? - Yeah. 214 00:08:56,699 --> 00:08:57,830 She'll make a little bit of noise. She's fine. 215 00:08:57,855 --> 00:08:59,924 - Oh, my gosh. - Yeah, just like that. That's perfect. 216 00:09:01,051 --> 00:09:02,269 Hi. 217 00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:03,696 It's okay. It's okay. 218 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,306 Um, can you take a picture of me? 219 00:09:06,331 --> 00:09:07,853 - Oh, yeah. Of course. - Thanks. 220 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,438 - Let me see that. Is that nice? - Yeah. 221 00:09:15,463 --> 00:09:17,649 - Oh, look at that. - Oh, it... 222 00:09:17,674 --> 00:09:18,994 What the hell? 223 00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:20,111 No kissy-face pictures 224 00:09:20,136 --> 00:09:21,244 - with my daughter! - Dad! 225 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,799 - Oh, my God. - Okay? 226 00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:24,478 Keep an eye on your son. 227 00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:26,040 All right. 228 00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:31,213 - Oh, God. Bye. - Bye. 229 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,400 Never forget that you exist in the now. 230 00:09:34,425 --> 00:09:37,670 So I want you to call all of yourself back into the present, 231 00:09:37,695 --> 00:09:40,267 from all the places you've left yourself behind. 232 00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,142 Now say hello to yourself. 233 00:09:42,175 --> 00:09:45,363 This is really you. 234 00:09:45,388 --> 00:09:46,388 Hello. 235 00:09:46,663 --> 00:09:48,831 And you're not going to do it alone. 236 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,723 You know I'm doing it with you. 237 00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:52,683 So everyone say it with me. 238 00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:56,472 I'm the biggest me that I can be. 239 00:09:56,497 --> 00:09:57,503 I'm the biggest 240 00:09:57,528 --> 00:09:59,114 - me that I can be. - I'm the biggest me that I can... 241 00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:01,919 Can I help you? Whoa, okay. No, no, no, no. 242 00:10:02,698 --> 00:10:05,000 Don't touch it. Don't touch it. You'll make it worse. 243 00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,489 Is there something I can help you with today? 244 00:10:08,813 --> 00:10:12,263 Uh, yes, I am looking for some clothes 245 00:10:12,288 --> 00:10:13,692 that'll make me look like a... 246 00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:15,783 like a real man. 247 00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:18,083 Great. Great. 248 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,458 Well, we should get out of the children's department, then. 249 00:10:20,972 --> 00:10:21,972 Follow me. 250 00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:30,239 Okay, history lesson. 251 00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:32,399 How did America win the Revolution? 252 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,630 I don't know, Dad. How? 253 00:10:35,231 --> 00:10:38,114 Guns! America's greatest export. 254 00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,965 Oh, yeah, guns. Guns have gotten us 255 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,653 out of a lot of trouble here. 256 00:10:41,678 --> 00:10:43,036 World War II, we used guns. 257 00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:45,380 Korea, guns. Vietnam, guns. 258 00:10:45,405 --> 00:10:47,606 Uh, Super Bowl XIII, guns. Feel that. 259 00:10:48,184 --> 00:10:50,153 - Feel it. Pick it up. - I... 260 00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:51,958 Okay. 261 00:10:52,732 --> 00:10:53,786 Ta-da. 262 00:10:54,565 --> 00:10:57,192 You look cool as shit with that in your arms. Do it again. 263 00:10:57,747 --> 00:10:58,747 Pick it up. 264 00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:00,356 There you go... well, there's no bullets in it, 265 00:11:00,381 --> 00:11:02,801 but don't point it at any... don't ever point it at anybody. 266 00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:04,247 Okay? 267 00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:08,552 Now, first thing we need to do is fieldstrip this thing, so... 268 00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:12,497 let me just, uh, take this out. 269 00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:13,722 There we go. 270 00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,348 And, uh, double-check, yeah, there's no bullets in here. 271 00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:17,942 Lefty loosey, righty tighty. 272 00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:20,169 It's all jammed up. Oh, hold on one second. 273 00:11:20,194 --> 00:11:21,809 I see what's going on here. 274 00:11:25,263 --> 00:11:26,872 Is that my phone? That's my phone. 275 00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:29,051 Oh, it's your grandmother. Hold on. 276 00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,892 - Hey, Mom. - Hi, Dale. What you up to? 277 00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:33,259 I'm just teaching my daughter life lessons. 278 00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:34,689 - Why? - I want to take the family 279 00:11:34,714 --> 00:11:36,658 to that place by the Crystal Palace. 280 00:11:36,683 --> 00:11:39,041 Is that the new place with the chocolate chip fortune cookies? 281 00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:41,392 - Okay, we'll be there. - See you there. 282 00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:42,417 Okay, bye. 283 00:11:49,902 --> 00:11:51,142 How did you do that? 284 00:11:51,675 --> 00:11:53,421 I looked it up, Dad, on my phone. 285 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,720 - Ooh. Uh... - Give me that. 286 00:11:55,408 --> 00:11:56,725 What the hell? 287 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,869 I want to teach you! 288 00:11:57,894 --> 00:12:00,251 This is about father-daughter bonding! 289 00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:01,478 Oh, my God. 290 00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,470 Goddamn it. 291 00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,570 Hey. 292 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,361 Uh... Hey. 293 00:12:15,063 --> 00:12:16,837 Turns out it was loaded. 294 00:12:17,311 --> 00:12:20,001 As human beings, we are uniquely equipped 295 00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,128 to take ownership and responsibility 296 00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:24,181 of the life we lead. 297 00:12:24,313 --> 00:12:25,822 We have choice. 298 00:12:25,847 --> 00:12:27,522 We have free will. 299 00:12:28,126 --> 00:12:29,461 You might have a pet dog... 300 00:12:29,486 --> 00:12:30,789 Hi, Reverend Kwon. 301 00:12:30,814 --> 00:12:32,712 - Hi, Reverend Kwon. Sorry. - Oh. Oh, hey. 302 00:12:32,737 --> 00:12:35,424 Hey. Chip, you are looking really sharp. 303 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,490 - Oh, thanks. - Yeah. 304 00:12:37,775 --> 00:12:39,408 What's a church youth conference? 305 00:12:39,712 --> 00:12:40,892 This is You Alive. 306 00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,970 Evangelical youths from-from all over the Central Valley, 307 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:45,006 they come here to find a deeper fellowship with Christ. 308 00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,728 Oh, that sounds like a blast. 309 00:12:46,753 --> 00:12:47,776 Best three days of my life. 310 00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:49,968 H-How are ticket sales? 311 00:12:50,184 --> 00:12:52,431 Oh, uh, really, really good. 312 00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:54,705 Like, we have probably 2,000 people... 313 00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:56,345 ... who have applied. 314 00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,517 - We haven't finalized all... - Whoa, whoa, hold on a second. 315 00:12:59,771 --> 00:13:02,822 That sounds like something you might need to rent an arena for. 316 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:08,212 Oh. Well, we were thinking about the Marriott. 317 00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:09,705 Marriott? No, no, no, no, no. 318 00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,566 Uh, Marriotts are owned by Mormons. 319 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,660 - I did not know that. - This is a really good deal. 320 00:13:13,685 --> 00:13:15,884 - It's got Wi-Fi. It's got, uh... - You have Wi-Fi? 321 00:13:15,909 --> 00:13:17,072 Yeah. Yeah. 322 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:18,608 Genderless bathrooms. 323 00:13:19,384 --> 00:13:21,423 Oh. Let's talk. 324 00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:23,814 Very good. I'll see you around. 325 00:13:34,362 --> 00:13:37,533 Oh, smell that Spring & Renewal. 326 00:13:37,558 --> 00:13:40,173 Mm. That's my favorite Febreze. 327 00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:43,330 Oh, that was a good sleep, wasn't it, Sar-bear? 328 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,494 Mm. Sar? 329 00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:48,028 Hey, Sarah? 330 00:13:48,223 --> 00:13:49,540 Let's get up, sweetheart. 331 00:13:53,994 --> 00:13:54,994 Sarah? 332 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,039 Hey! 333 00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:02,070 Amber Alert! 334 00:14:02,095 --> 00:14:04,367 Dale, what's up with the Wi-Fi? 335 00:14:04,392 --> 00:14:05,778 I'm in the middle of a live feed. 336 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,165 Well, I'm in the middle of an Amber Alert. 337 00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:10,001 No Wi-Fi. No pornography until we find my daughter. 338 00:14:10,026 --> 00:14:11,712 - I saw your daughter. - Where? 339 00:14:12,298 --> 00:14:14,017 She's off playing with Wally Jr. 340 00:14:14,042 --> 00:14:15,509 They're messing around in the tub. 341 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,665 In the tub? 342 00:14:19,643 --> 00:14:20,649 Sarah! 343 00:14:22,286 --> 00:14:23,361 Yeah, that's so good. 344 00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:25,618 Yeah. Perfect. 345 00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,165 Okay, maybe put your leg up on the... 346 00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:28,190 Oh, okay. 347 00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:30,384 And, like, over the shoulder a little bit. 348 00:14:30,409 --> 00:14:32,712 Yeah, perfect. That's so good. 349 00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:35,320 Step away from the princess, you pauper! 350 00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:37,533 Jesus! Dad, put the gun down. 351 00:14:37,558 --> 00:14:40,155 - Put the gun down? Are you crazy? - Are you crazy? 352 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,181 - What's going on here?! - It's just pictures, man. 353 00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,915 - "Just pictures"? Get down! - You know? Yeah, Instagra... 354 00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:45,306 - It's just Instagram. - Get down! 355 00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:50,314 Dad. Dad. 356 00:14:51,369 --> 00:14:53,095 I don't understand all this. 357 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,775 You're taking pictures of my daughter. 358 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:55,800 Yeah. 359 00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,806 Look how scantily clad she is, huh? 360 00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:00,233 What do you think about that, son? 361 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,531 - Geez. - Huh? 362 00:15:01,556 --> 00:15:02,845 - Pretty good. Oh! - Give me this phone. 363 00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:04,881 This phone has caused nothing but trouble 364 00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:06,541 Whoa, what the hell, man? 365 00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,256 Shit. 366 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,477 Goddamn it. 367 00:15:10,502 --> 00:15:11,635 I'm pretty sure you can just put it 368 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,034 in a bag of rice or something. 369 00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:14,934 I've heard that works. 370 00:15:14,959 --> 00:15:15,959 You know what else is good 371 00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:16,995 - for these phones? - No, Dad. 372 00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:20,160 Are you crazy? 373 00:15:25,776 --> 00:15:27,660 Okay. Put your clothes on. 374 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,127 We got to go to a Chinese restaurant. 375 00:15:29,152 --> 00:15:30,152 Let's go. 376 00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,080 Take responsibility... 377 00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:36,403 Hello. I'm here for the, uh, Baskets party. 378 00:15:36,428 --> 00:15:37,682 - Hey, Chip. - Yeah. 379 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,229 - Hey. - Hey, Martha. 380 00:15:40,995 --> 00:15:42,151 - Hey. - What are you doing here? 381 00:15:42,176 --> 00:15:43,176 Do you work here? 382 00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:44,885 I don't. Your mom invited me. 383 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,276 You're all dolled up. 384 00:15:46,468 --> 00:15:48,815 Just, uh, I don't know. I just thought I'd put some... 385 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,338 Oh, you're still listening to the Tammy stuff. 386 00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:53,588 - I like it. - Yeah, I mean... 387 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,721 - it's for entertainment. - The new Chip. 388 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,315 You look really grown-up. 389 00:15:58,183 --> 00:15:59,784 Thanks. Thanks, Martha. 390 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,338 - Well, you ready for some Chinese food? - Sure. 391 00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,906 How are you with chopsticks? 392 00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:05,784 No. Brought my own fork. 393 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:08,659 Oh, is this like the lobsters where you get to pick 'em out, 394 00:16:08,684 --> 00:16:11,205 - then you get to eat 'em? - I don't think these are for cooking. 395 00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:14,433 Oh, what a shame. They look so delicious. 396 00:16:14,544 --> 00:16:15,544 Monica, listen to me. 397 00:16:15,569 --> 00:16:18,205 Just make sure that it's not the stain-repellent chemicals 398 00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,534 that's causing the problems. 399 00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,307 Ken, get off the phone. 400 00:16:21,332 --> 00:16:23,791 - We're gonna have dinner. - Honey, gotta go. Walking in to dinner. 401 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,878 - Sorry, Christine. - Let's go. 402 00:16:24,903 --> 00:16:26,628 The girls are having a little carpet problem 403 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,761 - they got to deal with. - Okay. 404 00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:29,394 Oh, Chip, Martha, 405 00:16:29,419 --> 00:16:30,821 you're here early. 406 00:16:30,846 --> 00:16:32,363 Well, time is money, Mom. 407 00:16:32,486 --> 00:16:34,394 - Isn't that the truth? - Hello. 408 00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:36,050 Oh, thank you, Ken. 409 00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:38,475 Chip, like the suit. 410 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,511 Thank you, sir. 411 00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:41,449 Got a new clown act up your sleeve? 412 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,050 Well, just, uh... 413 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,582 You know, Chip's always dressed up in funny outfits. 414 00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:48,769 When he was younger, I came home one time, 415 00:16:48,794 --> 00:16:50,972 and he had my bra on his head, 416 00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:54,152 and he was pretending he was a praying mantis. 417 00:16:54,457 --> 00:16:56,391 It was your panties on my head. 418 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,683 - Oh. - I'm just turning over a new leaf. 419 00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,910 - That's all. - Oh, honey, good for you. 420 00:17:00,046 --> 00:17:01,047 Hey everybody. 421 00:17:01,072 --> 00:17:04,558 Oh, my businessman son. 422 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,854 Oh, God, you're getting so tall. 423 00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:09,441 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 424 00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:11,409 Nice monkey suit, stupid. 425 00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:16,097 I, uh, have a money question for you, Dale. 426 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,339 Mom, you can ask me. 427 00:17:17,571 --> 00:17:19,190 Honey, if I had a clown question, 428 00:17:19,215 --> 00:17:21,684 I'd ask you because that's your expertise. 429 00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,918 Hi. Do you know what you'd like to drink? 430 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,089 Well, we just got here. I'm all discombobulated, 431 00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:29,073 and the-the menu's in... half of it's in Chinese, 432 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:32,393 so I don't know what to do here. Mm-kay. 433 00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,418 I'm ready to order. 434 00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,550 I'm gonna have chicken fried rice, 435 00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:38,073 and I'm gonna have, uh, 436 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,058 - kung pao chicken. - Mom, mom, mom. 437 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:41,825 - I think it's just the drinks. - Huh? 438 00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,792 - Oh, I got ahead of myself. - Sorry, Christine. 439 00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,276 - I have to take this. - What? 440 00:17:45,301 --> 00:17:46,308 Monica. 441 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,026 No, no, don't sign nothing 442 00:17:48,051 --> 00:17:50,737 until you double-check the inventory. 443 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,440 - What the hell's that about? - What? 444 00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:54,716 - Carpet, honey. - My God. 445 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,198 Does he have to make such a scene? 446 00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:57,861 Uncle Chip? 447 00:17:57,886 --> 00:17:59,587 - Yes? - Can I borrow your phone? 448 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,300 - For what reason? - Don't do that. 449 00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:02,964 All she's gonna do is take pictures of her titties 450 00:18:02,989 --> 00:18:04,362 - and put it on Twitter. - Dad. 451 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,792 - Well, that's the truth. - Don't say... 452 00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,406 - that at the table. - You might as well call it "Twitties." 453 00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:08,431 Oh, my God. 454 00:18:08,541 --> 00:18:11,099 Um, anyway, uh, I just want his phone 455 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,953 so I can call Mom to tell her to pick me up. 456 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,460 I want to go home. 457 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:19,140 Call... call your mom? 458 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,538 But I thought you hated your mom. 459 00:18:21,563 --> 00:18:23,098 Yeah, well, I want to see her again, 460 00:18:23,123 --> 00:18:25,695 and... you know what? She's not insane 461 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,874 - and living in a trailer park. - It is not a trailer park. 462 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,086 I told you that. Those are good Americans living there. 463 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,641 - Come on, you guys. - They tried to get me to smoke. 464 00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:34,156 - Who did? - I'll have a Tom Collins, please. 465 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,906 - You're missing the point. - What am I missing? 466 00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:37,156 I-I'm not missing anything. 467 00:18:37,181 --> 00:18:38,181 - Do you know what? - Sir, do you... 468 00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:39,361 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna have a hamburger 469 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,416 with jack cheese, please. 470 00:18:40,441 --> 00:18:41,441 - I'm sorr... - Hold the onions. I'll have 471 00:18:41,466 --> 00:18:43,894 - double the pickles. - We don't have hamburgers here. 472 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,081 You don't have hamburgers in America? 473 00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:48,237 It's a Chinese restaurant, Dale. 474 00:18:48,262 --> 00:18:50,487 Yeah, but why do I have to kowtow to their culture? 475 00:18:50,811 --> 00:18:51,811 Why is that? 476 00:18:51,836 --> 00:18:54,060 - Just get some moo shu, honey. - I don't want moo shu, Mom. 477 00:18:54,085 --> 00:18:56,234 - You love moo shu. - I don't... I don't love moo shu. 478 00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:58,859 He'll have the moo shu pork. You loved that as a kid. 479 00:18:58,884 --> 00:19:00,820 I don't want any moo shu. No moo shu. 480 00:19:00,845 --> 00:19:02,812 None. I don't want any moo shu. 481 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,852 - Put down moo shu. - I don't want moo shu. 482 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,655 - It's the principle of the matter. - Dad. 483 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,804 I mean, at Willy's Wontons, you can order a goddamn corn dog. 484 00:19:08,829 --> 00:19:11,007 - Dale. - Willy's Wonton? 485 00:19:11,032 --> 00:19:13,296 - Sit down. - Oh, my God. 486 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,843 Um, I'll have the Grandma's Soup Noodles. 487 00:19:17,418 --> 00:19:19,632 Yeah, hello? Yeah, hey. 488 00:19:19,657 --> 00:19:20,830 Can I get a cheeseburger? 489 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,345 - Is that possible? - Hey, Dale, Dale, Dale. 490 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,752 Listen. Breathe. 491 00:19:24,436 --> 00:19:25,436 Breathe. 492 00:19:25,461 --> 00:19:27,244 - Wha...? - Repeat after me. 493 00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,502 Uh, say it with me. 494 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,536 Uh... 495 00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:33,720 - I am in the now. - What are you doing? 496 00:19:33,745 --> 00:19:36,166 Look, you're in the kitchen, okay? 497 00:19:36,191 --> 00:19:37,725 Your family's out there. 498 00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,322 We need to bring all of you into the now. 499 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,424 Look, I'm tired of the influx of immigrants 500 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,689 coming into this country that don't know how 501 00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:45,033 to make a cheeseburger. 502 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,408 I mean, am I... am I crazy for-for being like that? 503 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:48,916 I think you're just getting frustrated 504 00:19:48,941 --> 00:19:50,072 with your anger at your daughter. 505 00:19:50,097 --> 00:19:51,627 You're taking it out on the immigrants. 506 00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:53,754 Uh, I'm from Modesto. 507 00:19:53,849 --> 00:19:55,658 - I'm so sorry. - Where's that? 508 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,572 It's up in the Bay Area. 509 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,767 Look, Dale. 510 00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:00,791 He's, like, a San Francisco type of guy. 511 00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:03,156 Dale, look. 512 00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:04,822 Everybody that you love is here. 513 00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,728 Just order the moo shu. 514 00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:09,220 Okay? Let's go have dinner. 515 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,588 Could you just figure it out, please? 516 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,082 Chinese cheese is fine. 517 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,717 I'm sorry. 518 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,455 Can you make him a burger? 519 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,416 You got too much facial hair to be in here. 520 00:20:35,072 --> 00:20:36,416 Ken, you ever been to China? 521 00:20:36,441 --> 00:20:37,502 No. 522 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:38,619 Me, neither. 523 00:20:43,502 --> 00:20:45,580 Oh, hey. 524 00:20:45,989 --> 00:20:47,822 So sorry about... 525 00:20:48,276 --> 00:20:50,278 our family uproar. 526 00:20:54,523 --> 00:20:57,033 - Here you go, honey. Call your mom. - Thank you. 527 00:20:58,830 --> 00:21:00,478 Look, I think I... 528 00:21:01,112 --> 00:21:03,877 I think I'm just upset, uh, because... 529 00:21:03,902 --> 00:21:06,533 Sarah, I... you know, I was excited. 530 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,954 It's just, I'm just sad that you're leaving. 531 00:21:08,979 --> 00:21:11,275 That's all. I'm just temperamental about it. 532 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,337 Well, that runs in our family, honey. 533 00:21:13,362 --> 00:21:15,009 I just don't think anybody loves me. 534 00:21:15,034 --> 00:21:17,070 - Oh, honey. - Dad, okay... 535 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:20,040 People love you. 536 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,514 Can you hand this over to him? 537 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,275 - Here, honey. - Here, Dad. 538 00:21:25,265 --> 00:21:26,265 What's that? 539 00:21:26,876 --> 00:21:29,025 - It's for your face. - Oh. Yes. 540 00:21:33,603 --> 00:21:34,603 There you go. 541 00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:35,761 Happy? 542 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,720 There you go. 543 00:21:37,745 --> 00:21:39,486 That's love right there. 544 00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:42,201 That looks interesting. 545 00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,837 Wish I would have got that now. 546 00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:47,915 Hmm. It's not bad. 547 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,298 - Oh, good. - What's that little grin 548 00:21:49,323 --> 00:21:51,111 - you got on your face there, huh? - Sorry. 549 00:21:51,136 --> 00:21:53,992 Hey. Don't be rude, Dale. 550 00:21:54,017 --> 00:21:55,790 I was smiling 'cause you got your burger. 551 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,900 That's why I was smiling. I was happy about it. 552 00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:59,227 Show some manners. 553 00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,087 What are we, savages here? 554 00:22:01,563 --> 00:22:04,095 Chip, thank you for saving dinner. 555 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,134 - Yeah. Yes. - Let's have a toast to Chip. 556 00:22:06,906 --> 00:22:08,441 - Okay. - Yeah. 557 00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:10,157 - Chip. - Toast, Dale. 558 00:22:10,182 --> 00:22:11,743 Toast your brother. 559 00:22:15,056 --> 00:22:16,669 Well, he gave you a burger toast, honey. 560 00:22:16,694 --> 00:22:17,767 - I'm sorry. - That'll work. 561 00:22:19,056 --> 00:22:20,523 Well, that was tons of fun. 562 00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,532 - Yeah. - Do you mind driving me to the rodeo? 563 00:22:22,557 --> 00:22:24,985 I got some contracts that I need you to fill out. 564 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,446 Wow, you really are five-eight. 565 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,165 I'm five-eight and a quarter. 566 00:22:29,190 --> 00:22:32,093 I need to get on a flight to Denver as soon as possible. 567 00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:34,399 I want you to go with me. 568 00:22:34,424 --> 00:22:36,759 Oh. Um... 569 00:22:37,477 --> 00:22:39,291 Yeah, can I get some ranch dressing, please? 570 00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:40,673 For the third time. 571 00:22:43,381 --> 00:22:44,712 Okay, I'll go. 572 00:22:45,759 --> 00:22:47,800 Thank you for the moo shu. 573 00:22:48,152 --> 00:22:49,152 Because the truth is 574 00:22:49,177 --> 00:22:51,102 each and every one of you is as special 575 00:22:51,127 --> 00:22:54,048 and unique as that glorious sunset. 576 00:22:54,182 --> 00:22:57,519 You don't need to convince anyone who you are. 577 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,102 That's right. 578 00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:03,078 Ow! 579 00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,582 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 41599

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