Original subtitles

Fort Tegascioa. I can't find the damn thing.

It should be right here.

Either the italians have moved it or we've got the wrong map.

Not a decent landmark in miles.

Try heading north.

You're joking, old man. We are running out of fuel. Oh, no!

Gosh, I'll get help if I don't find this thing.

Can't you make for a while? Not unless you want to walk back!

Hang it, old man!

"Spaghetti" at starboard!

Let's just shake them up a bit!

Coward! Come down here and fight!

This is right for Fort Tegascioa?

I tell you, it's fort Tegascioa

You'll have to get up tomorrow then.

They ought to give me a pilot instead of a madman.

No wonder the RAF loaned him to us.

Excuse me sir, would you like a cup of tea to keep the sun out of your throat?

Oh, thank you very much.

Good for you, sir.

One for you, sir? No thank you, corporal.

One tea for the major, Slinger, don't make it sniffy!

By the way sir, did you find the Fort Tegascioa?

I told you

How did you know I was looking for the Fort Tegascioa?

Well, a sort of deduction, sir.

Couldn't deduce where it is, could you?

Keep the mug. I'll come and collect it later.

Thank you.

Go on, get on with the job. I gave you that order days ago.

You know that a troop's got a brain carrier down with engine trouble and a car with a broken axle.

And you should report it to the old man right away.

He can wait, until I'll have a cup of tea, can't I?

Yes, sergeant, what is it?

Three men on charges sir, will you hear them now?

No, not now.

Well, there won't be much time later sir if we're moving

We can wait, can't we?

You didn't hear them last night sir, or the night before. Keep the men until thursday, son.

Oh yes, sir.

All right, send them in. Very good, sir

What is the point of putting men on punishment at a time like this?

If you don't support your superiors, you're in trouble, all fine

You professionals you always stick together.

Yes Dickie, now what is it? The rations have arrived, sir.

There's half a bottle of whiskey this month. Do you want yours?

Yes, I do. It looks like I need it.

Do you still want to swap your whiskey for my chocolate?

Well that depends how much chocolate you could muster.

I don't know why you bothered.

That stuff has no effect. It has, of course.

Here we go.

Party, mark time!

Party, halt!

Corporal Prefect, sir. Unauthorized use of army vehicles

wrongful appropriation of army goods, absent without leave

Absent without leave in Abysinia?

How the hell you were absent without leave in Abysinia?

In a village sir, ten miles away it's also out of town

What you were doing there? He was trading sir, with army issued tea.

You mean you stole army issued tea, corporal? Only in a manner of speaking, sir.

Well, it was either army issued tea or it wasn't army issue tea.

Where did you get it?

Out of the bin, sir.

Out of the waste bins? Yes, sir.

Tea leaves? Wet tea leaves?

They were wet when I got them sir.

I dried them in the sun and put them back in an army issue box.

That's what I meant when I said in a mannner of speaking.

Are you trying to tell me that you've been selling second-hand tea leaves to the natives?

Don't you think that's rather dishonest? In the manner of speaking.

What did you sell them for?

Dates, sir. I have a sweet tooth for dates.

Where are the dates? I had to throw them away, sir.

They were crawling with maggots. Why didn't you inspect them?

You'll understand sir, I was anxious to be away before they started to make the tea.

and I never thought they'd work a dirty trick like that on me, sir.

48 hour patroll.

The suspended will have further notice.

Colonel Brownlow would like to know he should report you missing.

All right. I'll go over right away

I'll be back in a moment Very good, sir

You think Major Richardson is whimpy, don't you?

I wouldn't presume to comment on a superior officer,sergeant.

Well it's just not good enough!

Tomorrow we move on and swing north to Addis

I want the fort found and put out of action!

I'm sure I'll be able to find it next time, sir

We had to come back to refuel but we saw a group of the enemy..

All right all right, so long as it's found!

Take off in the morning and join up with us later

Yes, sir!

On the main front before Goba our army is fighting a great battle

against an enemy vastly superior in equipment.

The english will therefore attack this fort

and I know that you are prepared to die here

rather than give it up.

Unfortunately we are not to be allowed to make this heavy sacrifice

We have orders to evacuate Tegascioa and make a force march

to fort Eguadaba where our forces are regrouping.

We leave in half an hour

Carry on, capitan.

Company!

Fall out!

Not with me, you fools!

Guddou!

These men hadn't understand a thing!

Explain to them what to do!

Then go and pack my stuff.

Is that my analysis? No, mine.

Uh, Bernasco, my head.

I feel awful

Come in.

It's probably the malaria again. Lie down.

I feel like death.

I told you, it would comeand it will go. You have to get used to it.

I don't want to get used to it.

What's wrong with him? Malaria again

You pick a fine time to have an attack of malaria.

Will he be ready to move with the rest of us? I think so.

It's not serious.

Good.

Better start packing up. We leave at sunset.

Bernasconi...

Can't you get me sent home?

I should be assigned to officer jobs.

Vittorio..

What would I do in Abyssinia if you went home?

That's a selfish way of looking at it!

Do you have to be dying before they send you home?

No. Dead.

Hold it!

Micheletti! I've been looking for an hour for you!

Why did you put your feet on him? Okay, we haven't killed him!

Mattone, take him away and tie it up!

Get moving and fall in!

I think the battery is dead.

And of course we wouldn't have a spare one, hm?

That would be too much to ask.

Can't you get it through your head that everyone around here is sick?

So what does that make to me?

A picture of health?

I would like just to have an injection without a lecture.

Roll your sleeve up.

It's your job to report to my condition.

I should be assigned to your office work...

Go away!

Go and track something..

Are you crazy? Get out of here!

That injection never gave me a buzzing in the head before.

Get undercover!

You, savages! Come back here!

Get down! Get down, you fools!

I... of that dive Must be passed it.

Poor girl. I said look at them, not join them!

Oh, man..

Beggar's offer, old man

Well, why don't you surrender?

Where is your detachment, Major?

How many cars have they got?

How many guns?

Where are they heading for?

Are you going to answer me Major, yes or no?

Name, rank and number, that's all you're entitled to.

Come, Major you'll tell us in the end, why not tell us now?

Do you realize old man we must be the first englishmen ever

to be captured by the italians since war begun, anyway?

I'm talking to you, englishman.

The courtesies of rank are extended even to prisoners, captain.

Now stop being a bore on the subject of my detachment, I'm afraid I can't help you.

You can't get blood out of a stone,Vittorio. Can't I?

Where did you say is your detachment,major?

How many cars? How many guns?

You'd better tell me or you'll be in trouble.

Keep asking him, old man. He'll break any minute now.

You're worse than he is.

No, my detachment is miles away, captain. You have nothing to worry about.

Worry? You underestimate us, major.

That's the trouble with you, english.

You have little imagination, you underestimate everyone.

That's why you lost at Dunkirk.

Dunkirk was one of the finest achievements in british history.

But it was a defeated, major. A terrible defeat.

Yes and it takes considerable imagination to think of it as a victory.

Now please leave me alone.

Has a pointer, Vittorio. He has a point?

He has nothing, nothing and I'll settle you on anyway!

And I want my analysis before leaving Eguadaba!

Did I say Eguadaba?

Did he hear me?

Sergeant, get those men to carry that equipment to the shade.

Yes, sir.

The interrogation is going well, major He is english of course, but he's talking.

His name is Richardson.

He's a Major, and his number is 642-1234.

That's most valuable, especially the number.

How is the hand? Not very bad, thank you major. Sorry, we have no drugs.

Oh it's not serious

and I'm sure you get the right treatment when we get to..

Eguadaba.

How did you know we were going there?

Well as a matter of fact...

our intelligence service is the finest in the world, major.

Well, since you're a prisoner the information is not of much use.

Captain, we move off in five minutes!

Imbecile!

Lieutenent!

Get the mules ready!

Come on, fall in!

What's the matter with you? Have you never seen an english prisoner before?

No, I haven't.

Look at them! Walking in the park!

We'll never win the war! Such a will power

They never get tired and they never get hungry!

This is ridiculous, why can't we slouch like the italians do?

Because we're british officers if you pardon the expression.

I happen to be a pilot.

Let's not exaggerate.

My feet hurt. Then grit your teeth.

My teeth hurt too, excuse me.

I am not more used to this than you are, now keep going!

Tell them to stop that, it's driving me mad!

They sing so they won't notice they're tired. If they stop they will not march!

Are you enjoying the march?

Yes enormously! Fresh air, sunshine, community singing, nothing to beat it!

That's good because there's four days to go yet!

4 days to get to Eguadaba? Thank you very much!

Four days walking? That's my loss!

Come on, come on, you can't rest here Come on get on your feet!

Up! up! you're letting the side down!

Halt! Fall out!

Why did we stop?

He's not drinking? He don't like the water.

Poor thing.. What it want, mineral water?

When mules not drink the water is poisoned.

Don't drink that water!

I usually tend to this stuff at home. Smothered in tomato ketchup.

What spoils them is the choir.

I'd give anything for a cup of tea.

I�d settle for a cold beer portable hot barmaid and drank straight out of her shoes.

I knew a place where you could get that.

What did they do, they close it down? Yes

Don't get up.

I just came to see if there was anything I could do for you.

At least at Eguadaba I can promise you some decent food

Four days is a long time to wait.

How did you..

I'm sorry.. I forgot your intelligent service is the best in the world.

We all have the same trouble, major.

Oh well

I say good night.

I should get as much sleep as you can. You've got a long way to go.

But not with you, chum. We're getting out of here tonight

Why do we build ourselves a wooden antelope?

A what? An antelope, old man.

So you like spaghetti, do you? Stupid little italian antelope.

For heaven sake! Give it a rest!

Cut it out!

Shut up!

I'm sorry.

I just thought they were going a little bit too far.

You don't give orders arround here, major.

You are a prisoner.

If I want them to sing they will sing!

Then for God sake, teach them to sing another tune!

Since when you take orders from the english?

I want you to sing, do you hear?

Make them sing!

What shall we sing, sir?

Sing the same song!

It was an order, sir. I don't care who gave the order

Do you have no comments?

I didn't think it was good for morale that the english

Damn morale, I'm more interested in the survival of my men

The english!

Get the prisoners, quickly Now, move on!

It looks like Dickie's coming

I just hope he sits tight and calls up the others

Hurry, hurry!

Del Pra. Keep the native singing Singing?

Singing! Start them up again!

Blasi, take your men to the left.

Sergeant! Bring your men with me!

Hurry, hurry! Come on boys!

Hurry!

Get down! Keep low!

Come on boys, hurry up!

Here, get down. Keep on singing!

I think they mean business.

Stay out, Dickie for God's sake!

Fire!

More ammunition

Bernasconi, over here!

Do we stay in camp or move, sir?

The men can't go on, do you want to kill them?

Do you want the english to kill them?

The english are miles away, give the order to us! When I am ready!

Don't tell me, Bernascone!

Come on, hurry up!

The english, that's all we need!

Just the same, you'll have to slow down.

We have nine men with fever, 16 with foot infections

and we have nothing left to treat them with.

So what do you want me to do? Phone to Red Cross?

All I'm saying is you could ease up a bit.

You walk the men into the ground today Well that's a bit of being buried in it

You and your footing fashions!

If they get a bullet in the head will they care about their feet?

I have to get them to Eguadaba.

We'll get there,

It's all right for you. It's not your responsibility.

The radio is broken.

We're short of food and the english are right behind us!

How do you know? What do you think of that is?

New year?

If only the major were still alive...

Idiot, are you crazy? Can't you see it's lighting the fire?

He ordered to boil the pasta.

He was making signals, can't you see? Signals!

You must learn to control yourself, captain.

You're behaving like a school girl who's been interfered with.

You are a spy..Oh, rubbish. I'll have you shot!

You what? You'll be tried and shot, you dirty spy!

How dare you try to intimidate a prisoner of war?

Don't you know that is against the Geneva convention?

You know what I do with the Geneva convention!

I don't doubt you will. You had go too far.

You were signaling! Signaling who, for God's sake?

The british. You were trying to give us away!

Don't you flatter yourself! They wouldn't have you.

You were signalling your forces.

I was not.

You were signaling! I was not signaling!

You were signaling! I was not signaling!

You were signaling! I WAS NOT SIGNALING!

Now you listen to me.

If you think the british are after your lot,

it's because they don't know who's in command of it

If you want to stop them, call them up and tell them it's you, captain Blasi!

Then they'll all have a bloody good laugh and get on walking

I'd laugh too, if I have that thing under my nose

Vittorio, come on.

Cowards! You make speeches and then run away!

They wouldn't tell us.. english idiot

Who does he think he is?

Everything will be all right when we get to Eguadaba.

IF we get there! The english may catch up with us any minute!

Bernasconi.

If he is right, would the english leave us alone... if they knew we are so weak?

Maybe.

But they don't know and there's nobody to tell them, is there?

I'm going to bed.

They could tell them. Sure.

But they're going to a prisoner camp. Good night.

Smoke signals! What did he think I am, a red indian?

I was only warming my poor hand.

I've had enough of this Watch it, watch it.

There will be no more fires, major.

No more fires or you'll be disciplined.

And I must confiscate this. It could be used as a weapon

You're damn right It's almost killed me twice.

Did you mean what you said out there, major?

Did you? I meant every single word of it

Not every word... Every word!

How you and your detachment in your condition can expect to mount a repellent attack i just wouldn't know.

O, I agree. No sane man likes war.

You just have to make the best of it, that's all.

But it creates such a stupid situation

Look at us. You get the minors and I get yours

You don't want to be here and I don't want you, ridiculous isn't it?

Well, it's unfortunate. Oh it's more than unfortunate.

We have to watch you and feed you and care for you

and all the time you are making plans to get away. It's ridiculous.

Oh I know, it's the right of a prisoner to escape

I read it in... the Geneva convention.

I just want you to know that I respect that right.

The detaining power has the right to... prevent them, of course.

Is that so?

I didn't actually read that far

Maybe the point is cut out somewhere

When I think of the awful things you'd say about us, major

if you had the chance..

You would say that, wouldn't you? Yes, I'm afraid I would.

If you had the opportunity, of course. If I did, yes.

Well then, I'll say good night to major.

A very good night in fact.

Good night!

Right!

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Bernasconi... what would you say to the idea of letting the prisoners escape?

Brilliant! No, think about, Bernasconi

Think!

They go back and report we are not worth them bothering about

So we could get to Eguadaba without a worry

Why should they waste time on us if we can't do them any damage?

They will leave us alone, Julius Caesar did it.

He let them go to tell the people how strong the romans were, not how weak.

Did Caesar let them take his mules as well?

I never said they could take the mules.

Well, they'll get back quicker and tell the british we're not worth chasing.You hope!

I'm impressed, Richarson.Impressed! Well done!

Sit down

I had little mule trouble , so I'd rather stand if you don't mind.

You showed great initiative

Oh there's really nothing, sir. It was a child's play.

Oh, don't deny it

If there's one thing I can't stand it's false modesty.

I prefer to leave that sort of thing to the RAF.

I'm sure it wasn't very difficult.

If i say I'm impressed, I'm impressed and I don't want any damned argument about it.

Now sit down! I rather stand if you don't mind

And you say these people are in terrible shape. Oh they are, they're in terrible shape, sir.

They're short of food they're short of ammunition, completely demoralized..

Well, they're not worth worrying about.

That's a relief

Now whereabouts did you leave them?

Oh, excuse me, sir. Just about there, sir.

And they were on their way up to fort Eguadaba

Eguadaba? yes Well now wait a minute.. doesn't that ring a bell?

It's a reported concentration area, sir

We think they're trying to regroup

That's it! I knew there was something.

I've got a little job for you, Richardson. Sit down.

oh I prefer to stand. Sir.. couldn't sea squadron go this time, sir?

What on earth for?

well it's just it might be a little bit embarrassing if I showed up again like a bad penny.

Embarrassing?

Yes, sir.

You see, it's hard to explain..

It's just that.. I don't go if it's all right with you.

Are you questioning my orders?

Oh no, sir. It's just that I'd rather not go, sir.

Richardson, listen to this, because I don't intend to repeat it

When I give an order I expect it to be promptly carried out.

You'll take your squadron and blow the bloody lot smithereens.

Eguadaba, not the squadron, understand? Yes, sir.

Now here's the Red gober there's Eguadaba

You can get there in three days

Yes, sir.

Eguadaba!

Bernasconi! We made it!

I brought them at home

Now I can't hand over my command

They might even decorate me! With a bucket of white vines!

Well what do we do now? How should I know?

There's no one here! No, there's nothing!

They've just forgotten us

Regroup, how can I regroup?

There's no one here to regroup with!

Oh, my God! What's that?

Where they come from?

You fool, what are you trying to do?

Get down! Yes, sir.

Sir, there is a surrendering.

They must be mad!

What can we do with them?

The english are calling on us to surrender.

If you want to deal with them, you have to put out a white flag too.

And give it back to me afterwards.

Oh come on, come on, come on!

Oh they're italians, they like to take their time.

Haven't really got very much to hurry about, have they?

Oh, here they come.

It's him, I tell you, it's him!

Now what?

What difference does it make?

That cheat, that liar! He said he wouldn't have come after us

he... he promised he wouldn't come back for us!

So Julius Caesar was wrong again?

What are you talking about? Nothing

What's going on? I'm not surrendering!

And that's all there is to it I'd rather jump under a train!

Vittorio! There are no trains here!

That's not the point

Why should I surrender to the man?

Because he will blow us out of the ground if you don't!

I'd rather die than surrender to a man like that!

Oh, come on!

You're right, I can't defend the fort of my own

and I have no right to sacrifice all of you

Right. Let's take this over with.

But remember I'm doing this for you!

I'm glad that they got to an agreement

I think we should ask for the honor of arms.

you wouldn't think of that!

They don't know what honor is!

Good morning! Where are my mules?

Where is my salute?

Ask him if he's prepared to discuss the terms of surrender

Ask him why he is afraid to look me in the eye.

Ask him if he realizes there's a war going on.

And you ask him.. Now, wait a minute!

You're here to surrender not argue about it.

Tell them the surrender terms

No, I will tell you the surrender terms!

Full honor of arms, well done captain Shut up!

Full honor of arms!

It's an old italian custom

They march out with all their arms and we present arms as a tribute to their bravery.

You're joking, of course.

It is now 11,41.

You have exactly one hour

in which to pile your arms inside the fort and then march your men out here.

Otherwise I open fire.

You'll open fire, will you?

Well, see what you get back!

Look at me! I'm trembling, I'm shaking my shoes!

Crook! We'll wipe the floor with you!

You'll see! Let me go!

You think..

What the hell's he waiting for?

Shall I give the order to fire, sir? .. already.

What is he trying to do, get them all killed? It's hardly our concern, is it?

I think it's absolutely wrong to play about like this. They'll think they can get away with any damn thing.

Sergeant Peter, get those men in some kind of order will you?Yes, sir.

And Peter go and get that... captain Blasio here.

I should hardly thought that was necessary.

Well it's... just a sort of courtesy

Come on boys get fitted in

I want to see a nice line of soldiers right here

Tell to our white brothers sir could we have some tea?

But no muffins.. come on chaps i want you to get right in here in a line

They've gone! Who's gone?

The italians, not a trace of them!

Gone?

Yes, out of the back door

They just left the native soldiers and tell them to march out at 12h41'

but they forgot to give them a watch Surprise surprise!

The stupid!

Do you think that's good? Of course, we could have surrounded the rally fort

but I suppose that would have been too much like a military operation.

Send one troop back to headquarters with the natives, get everyone else ready we are going up.

But they've got a nice start!

They won't get far on foot We're not on foot, damn it!

How the hell do you think we're gonna get our stuff up there?

I don't know, but we'll find a way! Is it worth it for God's sake?

40 italians aren't gonna win this war!

Neither the british army nor me is gonna be made a bloody full of!

Especially me!

Oh, we'll catch up with them soon

Ever heard of the hare and the tortoise?

Come on, close up, unless you want to get us all killed!

oh no!

Please, go home!

You realize we could have passed them anytime now?

I don't think that's very likely.

Look at him, he'd get lost on a guided tour Well, they must be around somewhere.

Yeah like the fairies at the bottom of my garden.

I always knew there was something strange about you, Tanner

All right let's go back that's reason we're going back

Stand up Switch them on

Get moving

Everybody get in there

That's the double

Just a minute.

Switch off. Switch off again, sargeant.

Hey, remember me?

Under the tree, I'm your friend, remember?

Come on. Hey, don't be frightened, it's only me.

Memory, remember?

Come old boy, you'll be all right we've had a hard day.

Give me a cigarette.

Did you watch that? He�s done, he's nut.

I said he would.

That's their regiment's mascot I knew they're around here somewhere

Get the men out, no noise, follow me. Prepare for ground action

Prepare for ground action.

We prepare for the supper then. Come on

Two flipping goats

I'm terribly sorry.

Well I've been on some wild goose chases but this is the ruddy limit!

Get them in back on the trucks ready to move off

Okay boys as you are

Everybody back! Back to the trucks!

They didn't dream anyhow

If you don't keep him on a leash he'll end up on tomorrow's menu

Good night

In the summertime...

Let me go! Let me go!

Quiet!

Idiot!I'll have you court-martialled, understand?

Who did it?

I don't care.. Tell them they are no longer warriors!

Finished! Get rid of them!

Out!

Tell the men if it went up the spout safety catch is on

yes sir

Right boys one up the spout safely catches is on.

We're ready to move off, sir. Good and good night.

Can you smell something burning? yes

I think it's one of those horrible italian cigarettes

It seems quite close.

Certainly something's burning.

Oh God, the tanks!

There's no good, abandon the tanks!

Out!

Everybody back! Get back! Go to the water

Get in the lake!

Get everybody on the island in the middle!

I'll go on Right!

What about you? I'll be there in a minute.

Captain!A lake!

Where? Over there!

Get into the water!

Madman!It was you who set the wood on fire?

You did it, not me!

Now look out!

You know, I reckon I did't feel more stupid than this.

Impossible

Come on, we're outnumbered.

I prefer alive men to dead heroes

Come on, let's get going.

The whole squadron destroyed.

The colonel's gonna think we ran into the entire italian army.

It's gonna be a long track back.

We're not going back, we're gonna cut across country and head for Goba.

Goba? Even that'll take us more than 10 days.

We've got no maps. We could end up in Addis Abeba.

I know the direction, we can't be too far.

What about enemy patrols?

That's a risk we'll have to take.

Come on, let's put it in the bag.

Well, I'm sorry.

You know you have to carry our rifles, feed us and then you know..

Sgt. Trevethan! Yes, sir?

Left, right..

Come on, boys! Show them what you're made of!

Ask him where we are.

He said this is the province of Ras Dejadar I know that but ask him where we are.

He says "we are allies of the english" ..Long live Haile Selassie, long live the king of England"

He said "The Italians are usurpers, invaders, oppressors."Death to italians"

Well, tell them we're very pleased that they're our allies

and could they let us have some food.

He says "give us italian rifles"

He says "give us italians too"

You tell him I haven't the fairest intention handing over the italians or their rifles and...

That's all he has to say, we'll be on our way.

He said, "give me italian rifles and you keep the italians"

You tell him to go.. tell him that.

Come on

Stand still I'll tell you when to fall out.

A drop of rain won't do you any harm!

Remind you all!

Tanner, keep your rifle dry stick it up your shirt!

About a dozen of huts, all abandoned, I think

Right. It'll do fine. Bring the men down right away, sergeant

Fall out!

Carry on Very good, sir.

Where's captain Blasi? He's absent, sir.

Lieutenant, present my compliments to captain Blasi and tell him we're taking our usual morning walk

Are you planning to leave the sick behind?

For my money captain Blasi is the fittest of all of us.

You just tell him to get moving.

I was referring to lieutenant Hillary.

Oh yes, I forgot, I'm sorry. How is he? He has pneumonia.

His right lung is congested.

Can he be carried? If you wish to kill him.

All right, doctor.

All right.

Do I have to kill myself?

You'll be held responsible for my death on this march, major.

First of all that's a responsibility I gladly accept.

Secondly I intend to overlook that preposterous salute and pretend it never happened.

And thirdly you can go back because we're not leaving.

Why aren't we leaving? Because lieutenant Hillary is sick.

Wonderful!

That's real english justice!

When he's sick we stop

but when I'm sick we move!

He has a pneumonia!

Did you ask me if I had the pneumonia?

It looks as though we're going to be here for quite some time, sergeant Trevethan.

So get the men organized including the prisoners.

Get the village cleaned up? Yes, get the village cleaned up or something.

Yes, sir.

I suggest we dig latrines, sir. We've got a couple of spades.

Who wants a latrine in the middle of...the desert?

Well we always dig latrine, sir. It keeps the men occupied.

I'll put the italians onto that sir, leave it to me!

Sergeant Todini!

Sergeant Todini, this is where you and me come into our own.

It's at times like this that the army would crumble if it weren't for the likes of you and me.

Tell me: what's the worst thing that can happen to a soldier?

To be killed in battle. No, no, no. To be idle.

To be bold bloody idle!

Look at them.

They think they're on holiday.

They think they're going to lie about like that all day toasting themselves in the sun.

But you and I know better, don't we sargeant?

You and I have got plans. Now your little lot are going to build some latrines.

And my lot are going to dig some holes and fill them up again.

Come on,

come on!

What the hell do you think this is, Margate?

Is it worth it?

I have no intention of growing a beard.

How'd you get it anyway a razor?

Trevethan. Who else would salvage a razor in the forest fire?

The CEO will be proud of you.

Oh, please. That's yet to come.

You know, it's really ridiculous when you think about it.

When I think about, it's just bloody dangerous.

We're short on rations

The sicker with us like the poor and we're hardly a fighting force..

Yeah, how's that? Very good.

Can I borrow it? yeah

Thank you. Now we can really be blood brothers together.

That captain Blasi, sir.

He refuses to allow the italians to build a latrine, sir

oh, he does, does he?

We'll soon see about that

You! Get down to it!

Don't waste time

I understand you've given orders to your men not to build a latrine.

Certainly.

Who owns a latrine in the middle of a desert?

Neither you nor your countrymen are qualified to give us advice on hygiene

My countrymen were building sewers one of yours were still painting themselves blue

We've come a long way since then, captain.

I suppose now you paint yourself red.

This is the result of trying to shave and the difficult circumstances

Then why do it?

It's a matter of self-respect which seems to be unknown to some italians.

You, english have so much yourself respect that you have no respect for other people

You think there's only one way of doing things: your way

well I'm an italian, I don't think it's the italian way.

I don't give a damn if you're a hotentot.

I want a latrine built and you will build it!

If we don't eat what's the point of a latrine? I don't know but I want a latrine!

I will not build a latrine! you will build a latrine!

I will not build a latrine! Yes, you will build a latrine!

In fact you'll build two latrines! And one for the officers!

Now then.

You will build the latrines, captain or I shall have you disciplined

That's all I have to say.

If Hillary can't be moved we may be stuck here for days. It's getting serious you know

Just if you go on half rations that's all.

We are on half rations, man!

Would you inspect the latrines, major?

All right.

MAJOR RICHARDSON PRIVATE

Well done, captain Blasi. Very good, excellent!

Now you can build five more, one for each of the officers

Well done, men.

Come on, chaps. Carry on, we're not done to slow motion yet

And at the back there, pick it up there, pick it up get it right!

Jolly good show artist jolly good show.

Here, use this one.

Get out of it you flatted..

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Bring that thing! Get out of it!

Left, right..

You macaroni- faced monkey

You go.. quick march!

Keep moving

oh quick come on

What you've got there, mate?

Give it to me, give it to me!

Stop!

let me go

You tried to cheat, I saw you

Stop it! Break it up!

stop it

Stop it!Do you hear?

STOP IT!

Bring me that ball!

What do you think you're doing?

Do you think you're on a picnic or something?

Don't you realize there's a war on?

I want the names of the ringleaders

It's contrary to all the rules of war I shall complain to...

Sergeant Trevethan.Yes, sir.

Tell them to get their rifles and fall in

Don't rush it. Yes, sir.

Get your rifles.Fall in.

Walk, don't run.

This is how they come back for the rifles

Urge makes this time I should think

I wonder how many of them there are Far too many

Captain Blasi

Fall in the prisoners into the top end of the square

Give us back our rifles, major.

Fall in the prisoners in at the top end of the square.

This village is hopeless we can never defend it.

I'd feel happy if we had our backs to the wall

Why don't we withdraw to a defensive position?

Yes, it's a good idea. Here.

Sgt. Trevethan!

Defensive position down there by those rocks Yes, sir

Oh doctor, I'm sorry but mr Hillary has to be moved.

There's no problem, he's dead!

I thought you said they were waiting for darkness.

They're not stupid, they can cut their losses to a quarter by waiting for the moon to go down.

When that's gone you won't see very much.

I've seen it going down over the mountains in Khyber, in India

There's a moment of silence when it starts.

I never could understand why anybody would want to be a soldier

It wasn't too bad in peace time.

Did Blasi speak to you again about the rifles?

The italians are particularly concerned about it.

I know they are.

I've been hearing some pretty tales too.

I don't think I can give them back their rifles.

I mean deep enough as it is.

Do you think we could make a dashboard down that gully?

No, they would see us. yes

Then we'd be worse off than we are here.

What do you think our chances are they do come for us?

None.

Shut your face you fried fish and chip eater!

Have you ever seen a cockney brainwatcher?

Well it's made up entirely of fish and chips

I thought if any of them can charge you down here

they trip over it

Then I was going to kick them in the head

Not a very military idea, is it?

Well knowing you, it could destroy a whole squadron of tanks.

I must say your imagination really works over time, doesn't it?

It's the only thing about me that does, my wife said to me.

Your wife? Yes.

why?

I'm sorry,I just never thought of you as having a wife, that's all.

oh yes, I have a wife and two children

She's nice.

And the children?They are nice, too.

My wife said

"I don't care if you're a coward. Come home to me."

Do you carry a photo of your wife?

No.

Well, good night.

That's what. That's anything to say really, isn't it?

She's adorable We had to destroy him, the head fits

You had to? The dog I mean

You didn't mind am I looking at the photo? No, no, not at all.

You could have shown it to me. I showed you mine.

You have a lot of contempt for me, don't you?

Why?

Because I obviously don't enjoy the war?

I don't enjoy it anymore than you do.

It's just you don't make the effort

I would fight for my home but somehow out here...

I don't feel I'm doing that.

War isn't that easy.

For me it is.

Well perhaps I talked too much

No.

You can't keep so much in you feel sort of...pressure inside.

What's your wife's name? Anna

Mine is Helen

Be as quick as possible. I hope you know what you're doing.

The situation's stupid enough as it is, isn't it? You can't get any worse.

At least we have 40 more men with rifles.

What do you think the colonel's gonna have to say?

To hell with the colonel! I'm in command here

Yes, sir

Here, take these!

Somebody's got some bloody sense at last.

Where's the ammunition? Don't ask me mate, I'm just giving out the rifles.

Well who's dishing out the ammunition? I don't know, I haven't seen any.

Well what the hell is a good rifle without ammunition?

Keep your voices down. What's going on here?

Where's the ammunition? what ammunition? The italian ammunition, sir.

It was in hut number three. I suppose nobody brought it.

My bug, I'm afraid. sorry

You know, I could cry.

Watch your front

We'll just have to chance the gully. They'll see us

Not after the light goes.

If the darkness is good for them, it can be good for us

We did something of sort once in India

We fooled a tribe on the northwest front

and got nearly a whole company out right under their noses

Nearly a whole campaign

Well it's a bit tough for the last to leave

Well anyway we'll try six at a time.

Now Dan, you go over the first lot

Take captain Blasi flashlight. When you're safe, signal.

Then we'll send the next six.

When they're safe, signal and so on, got it?

Three short and one long, right.

Captain Blasi and I will be here as rear guard.

Get your men ready please. Right

Come on, hurry up!

Hurry up, don't make a noise!

Right, quick!

Well done, Dan. We made it. Thank you, Dan.

I figured this way I've been not out of the...

Dan!

Six at a time, we could hardly have made it easy for them

How could we know the galley here?

It's what you call a calculated risk.

Why is it we seem to stagger from one shamble to another?

Gentlemen!

Down with the king of England Down with the king of Italy

And now may I suggest that you fight in your own countries

and leave us to fight in ours then all will be well

Now kindly leave.

You've brought us through, after all!

We've made it! This must be the road to Gober!

oh out of it Doesn't matter, it must have fallen by now.

Sargeant Trevethan! Fall them in, put the prisoners in the rear.

Well done, indeed.

Thank you.

We would lead this way

We are behind the italian lines!

You have brought us home, major! It's Addis Abbeba, not Gober.

You're 150 miles from the english lines.

I should have blasted you at Eguadaba

Line up! In threes.

It's not the best or the bravest , major

but the ones that make it the least mistakes.

Quick march!

I think we should be moving off

Come

Sargeant Trevethan! Watch them off.

Move to the right in three! Quick march!

He looked like a man having a nightmare when he saw the milestone.

Why should I care? You think they care about us?

We are at war, aren't we?

So these are the fortress of war

I think we should get off the road, don't you?

There could be a lot of stuff down here

Trucks on the road, sir! Everybody off the road!

Go on, hide yourself get well down get your head swelled down under

I'll have the first man that raises his head

Heaven help the man who looks up

You're dead right about this road we better give it for a wide path

Fall them in, now tell them.

Sgt. Trevethan, fall in the men in three row.

Fall in, boys come on!

Quick there, that's the double

Fall in!

Quickly! More enemy trucks, sir!

Everybody away!

Where the devil you're going? Addis Abeba?

What do you think you're doing?

Sir, do you? This is major Richardson!

This cub says you're going to Addis Abeba

Well that's right, sir

Addis has fallen. We're on our way to the victory parade!

Excuse me sir, what happened to your boots?

oh we walked right a long way.

I see.. you you wore them out or something? Yes, that's right.

Or something.. Hard lucks.

Hey

stop dying your

Richardson!

Take your man along to div HQ and collect the new vehicle.

Yes, sir!

And Richardson, be a bit more careful with them this time, will you?

I understand there are vacancies for officers in the catering.

Come along you men, fall in there!

You're not here to have a sunbathing, you're here to work, come along!

Keep moving! Come on, close up!

All right

Are you there? Stop talking and stand still!

All right, march the men off

Present arm!

Hey you, come on there!

Ciao!