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1
00:00:02,792 --> 00:00:05,833
Jocelyn alice:
♪ I see you pass me by ♪
2
00:00:05,833 --> 00:00:09,792
♪ I start to wonder why ♪
3
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,750
♪ you don't know my name ♪
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,625
♪ are we on the same page? ♪
5
00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,500
♪ why won't you take the time? ♪
6
00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:17,500
Ben?
7
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:17,875
[door opens]
8
00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:19,875
Hello.
9
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:21,833
Happy anniversary,
Babe.
10
00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:24,417
5 fucking years, eh?
11
00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:27,958
And I thought
It was about time
12
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:29,250
I made you
Breakfast in bed.
13
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,292
Jocelyn alice:
♪ could you maybe look back ♪
14
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:35,333
♪ and give me some
Sort of clue? ♪
15
00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:39,875
♪ because I'd like
To get to know ya ♪
16
00:00:39,875 --> 00:00:42,750
♪ I got so much
I want to show ya ♪
17
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:44,792
Do I have to
Go in there?
18
00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:47,500
I'm pretty sure
Jason wants
His stuff back.
19
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,917
Maybe I could just
Leave it on his
Doorstep.
20
00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:51,125
Are you kidding me?
21
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,792
This shit is gold.
22
00:00:54,792 --> 00:00:55,917
It wouldn't last
5 minutes
23
00:00:55,917 --> 00:00:57,000
On these crazy
Chicago streets.
24
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,292
I know.
I have to go in.
25
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,917
It's just...
26
00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:03,667
He must be
So sad.
27
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,875
I don't know.
28
00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:07,875
Maybe he's already
Got another girl
In there.
29
00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:10,125
Maybe she's, like,
Sleeping in his
T-shirts
30
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:12,167
And rolling
Her body around
On his sheets
31
00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,042
And using that
Fancy face cream
Of yours.
32
00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:16,167
You obviously don't
Know him at all.
33
00:01:16,167 --> 00:01:18,125
He's not a player.
34
00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:19,417
He's sweet.
35
00:01:19,417 --> 00:01:22,083
Ok.
36
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,875
Charlie, maybe you
Could go in for me.
37
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,917
Absolutely not.
38
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:27,917
You need to get
The fuck
39
00:01:27,917 --> 00:01:30,375
Out of your comfort
Zone, girlie.
40
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,375
Kristin diable:
♪ listen close ♪
41
00:01:43,375 --> 00:01:45,458
♪ it's time that I impart ♪
42
00:01:45,458 --> 00:01:47,042
♪ these words of wisdom ♪
43
00:01:47,042 --> 00:01:49,792
♪ on how flirting is an art ♪
44
00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:52,500
♪ you'll never, ever lose ♪
45
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:56,750
♪ just follow my rules ♪
46
00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,083
♪ you'll have
Any man you choose ♪
47
00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:05,167
♪ when you follow the rules ♪
48
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:10,125
♪ just follow the rules ♪
49
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:27,333
Yes?
50
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:28,667
Wait.
51
00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:35,875
Is that
My face cream?
52
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:38,333
It was. It's amazing
How fast it goes
53
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,125
When you use this stuff
All over your body.
54
00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:44,792
Check out how smooth
It made my tits.
55
00:02:49,042 --> 00:02:50,917
Why are you wearing
Jason's favorite shirt?
56
00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:52,375
Oh, I know, right?
57
00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:54,833
He's so overprotective
Of this.
58
00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:57,167
It took me, like, 3
Months and 75 hand jobs
59
00:02:57,167 --> 00:03:00,542
For him to finally
Let me borrow it.
60
00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,792
You dated jason?
61
00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:07,417
When, exactly?
62
00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:11,083
For 6 months
In college.
63
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:17,333
How do you know
Jason?
64
00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:24,083
This is the most
Romantic breakfast
65
00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:25,625
Anyone has ever
Made for me.
66
00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:26,625
Yeah?
67
00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:27,667
Ever.
68
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:30,000
[jenna
Giggles]
69
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:38,292
Broken anchor:
♪ sarah says ♪
70
00:03:38,292 --> 00:03:40,333
♪ she won't ♪
71
00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:44,208
♪ take me at my word ♪
72
00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:50,417
♪ anymore ♪
73
00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:55,833
♪ I stare instead
And count the cracks... ♪
74
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:58,875
Do you love me?
75
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,917
So much.
76
00:04:04,208 --> 00:04:07,333
Broken arrow:
♪ I close the door ♪
77
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:16,292
♪ 13, 14, 5 ♪
78
00:04:16,292 --> 00:04:20,708
♪ awake and keeping
The dream alive ♪
79
00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:24,083
♪ with a mind full of lead ♪
80
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:28,125
♪ sarah says ♪
81
00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:33,250
I love you.
82
00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:40,333
In spite of
Everything?
83
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:43,083
Everything
Doesn't matter.
84
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,708
It does.
85
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,167
I'll love you
Through everything.
86
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:59,500
♪ and rolling hills
Shot in rolls of stills ♪
87
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,167
♪ all for you ♪
88
00:05:03,292 --> 00:05:07,417
♪ my sad baby blue ♪
89
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:16,208
♪ poetry in flash ♪
90
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:20,458
♪ needle art is
For young trash ♪
91
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:25,292
♪ but it'll keep you dry ♪
92
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:29,083
♪ sarah lies ♪
93
00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:42,583
I'm not perfect.
94
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,333
Neither am I.
95
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:52,042
I totally get it.
When I decided
To find myself,
96
00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:55,042
It took me
All over the world.
97
00:05:55,042 --> 00:05:59,875
I found that I
Had to get rid of all
The dicks in my life.
98
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:02,375
Oh, I'm sorry.
I should have led
With that.
99
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:03,708
I'm a lesbian now.
100
00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:06,917
Jason was my last.
101
00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:09,250
He turned me off
To dick forever.
102
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:15,500
Wait. Are you amy,
Jason's cool ex?
103
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,083
Don't you live
In nepal?
104
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:18,917
Lived in nepal.
105
00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:20,417
Jason's letting me
Crash on his couch
106
00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:22,625
Until I get
My shit together.
107
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:25,125
I'm broke.
108
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,792
You don't happen to have
Any job openings
109
00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:28,000
Where you work,
Do you?
110
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,458
Can you bartend?
111
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,125
I've seen cocktail.
112
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,167
I hang out
At the same bar
113
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:33,792
Pretty much
Every night,
114
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,542
And I know
The owner tyler
115
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:38,125
Is looking for
Some new help.
116
00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:39,208
Why don't you give
Him your number?
117
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:40,625
Well, fuck, yeah.
118
00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:44,958
[typing on cell phone]
119
00:06:58,417 --> 00:06:59,625
Hey, how's the brookman
Trademark infringement
Case?
120
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,375
Just overnighted
Hard copies of the letters,
121
00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:02,792
And emailed scans
To the attorneys,
122
00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:03,875
And left word on
All their voicemails.
123
00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,250
Ok, you know
That's overkill, right?
124
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,500
It's not even
Business hours in l.A.
125
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,292
I'm just trying
To get work done.
126
00:07:09,292 --> 00:07:10,500
Jesus, jason.
When was the last time
127
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,542
You ate anything that
Wasn't a coffee bean?
128
00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:15,208
Rachel, I'm just
Trying to focus
On work here, ok?
129
00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:17,292
I just broke up
With someone I love,
130
00:07:17,292 --> 00:07:19,125
So please
Give me a break.
131
00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:22,125
I had feelings for her,
Something that I don't
Think you know much about.
132
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:25,167
Let me tell you
What I do know.
133
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:28,792
You live in chicago
With 2.7 million people.
134
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,708
Half are female.
A quarter are in
The right age range.
135
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:34,875
Take out the ones
Who are unavailable
Or out of your league,
136
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:38,625
And that leaves you
With at least 75,000
Ladies to choose from.
137
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,375
I like your odds.
138
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,417
Charlie:
You know, I mean,
I'm ok.
139
00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:47,958
Sam: you know,
You're upset.
140
00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,625
Charlie: you know that
Offices make me
Uncomfortable.
141
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,875
Sam: ok.
142
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,458
Mom, do you know
Christina? Yeah.
143
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,333
Charlie: I can
Make coffees or
Something.
144
00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:55,958
I'll be useful.
145
00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:59,417
Dean: yeah. Oh, my god.
I saw her at the bar
Last night.
146
00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:00,958
My bro.
147
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,083
Dean: the teeth.
She got new teeth.
148
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,542
Sam: do you need something?
Some papers? Crayons?
149
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:08,792
No, I'm good.
150
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,125
Dean: they look right.
They look real.
151
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:12,875
They're white, yeah.
They're actually not...
152
00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,542
[whispers]
Charlie.
153
00:08:14,542 --> 00:08:16,167
Dean: she looks
Really nice...
154
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:17,958
You can't
Do that here.
155
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,792
So...
156
00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:26,583
I'm sorry. Is today
"Bring your drunk loser
Brother to work day"?
157
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,917
I must have been
Too busy busting my ass
On this jade proposal
158
00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:30,000
To catch the memo.
159
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,958
It's not my fault
You've been working
160
00:08:31,958 --> 00:08:35,167
On a jewelry proposal
For the last 3 days.
161
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:38,333
Sam, you're a chick,
And this is your
Territory.
162
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,042
What tag lines
Have you given me?
163
00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:42,417
"Jade--it'll make your
Friends green with envy"?
164
00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:44,625
Or "Jade--it's better
Than your mother's emerald"?
165
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,750
This is crap.
Sam, it's all crap.
166
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:48,458
Look. I'm sorry.
167
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:49,833
I just need
A couple of hours.
168
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:52,917
I have some good ideas.
I just need to perfect them.
169
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:54,417
Whatever, sam.
You know where to find me
170
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:58,125
When your bolt
Of brilliance strikes.
171
00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,667
Sam: do you see what
I have to deal with?
172
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:02,583
Yeah. Guys like him
Are always swinging
Their dick around,
173
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:03,583
And no matter
What you do,
174
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:05,625
It's never gonna
Be good enough.
175
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:08,000
Jaded.
176
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,083
You know,
Maybe, like,
177
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:11,708
His t-ball teacher
Touched him in the--
178
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,958
[snaps fingers]
179
00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:17,042
Don't be jaded.
Be jade.
180
00:09:17,042 --> 00:09:20,458
It speaks to me,
As a chick.
181
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:22,208
Ok. I'll put
In the proposal.
182
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,208
We should be
All set.
183
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:25,125
Cool.
184
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:26,708
Great.
185
00:09:27,625 --> 00:09:28,625
Candy?
186
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,917
Yeah!
187
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:34,958
Hey, mom, you want to
Hear this cool new thing
I just made up?
188
00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:38,292
Don't be jaded. Be jade.
189
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:41,000
Yeah. Simple
And awesome, right?
190
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,083
Yeah. I just come up
With that kind of stuff.
191
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,542
That's why I'm in line
For a promotion. Ha ha ha!
192
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,167
Anyway, yeah--
193
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:52,917
Is he--is he gonna
Stop staring at me?
194
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,708
No. No, he's not
Gonna stop staring at me.
195
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:56,792
Uh, mom, I'm gonna
Let you go.
196
00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:57,792
This--this kid's
Staring at me.
197
00:09:57,792 --> 00:10:00,208
I love you.
198
00:10:02,542 --> 00:10:03,917
Yeah, just
For the record,
199
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,667
Uh, you're right.
200
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:09,333
I am
The loser brother.
201
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:13,583
My girlfriend just
Broke up with me
Via text.
202
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:14,208
Hence the, uh...
203
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:16,292
Dude, that sucks.
204
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,875
I once got broken up
With over gchat.
205
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,708
Oof.
206
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:24,250
Bitches.
207
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:24,625
Yeah.
208
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,500
Here.
209
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:31,208
Hey, dude.
That's good.
210
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:32,708
Same here.
Ha ha ha!
211
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:35,583
Um. Hey.
212
00:10:36,542 --> 00:10:37,625
He's awesome.
213
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:39,042
Huh? What?
Yeah.
214
00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:40,583
Surprised.
Mmm.
215
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:43,042
[telephone rings]
216
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,292
Thank you for calling
Camilla jordan's office.
217
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,583
How may I assist you?
218
00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:47,833
Ok, please hold
One minute.
219
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:50,042
She's in a conference.
220
00:10:50,042 --> 00:10:51,167
Thank you for calling.
How may I assist you?
221
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:57,375
Yes. I remember
Seeing that.
222
00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,250
It is right...
Yeah. Right here.
223
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,583
Yeah, we got that
This morning. Great.
224
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,208
Thank you. Bye.
225
00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:07,292
Hi.
226
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,625
You must be
Stan bogart.
227
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,458
I'm megan,
Camilla's assistant.
228
00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:12,583
Camilla will be
Right with you.
229
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:16,792
Can I get you
A coffee, water,
Sparkling water?
230
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:19,500
Diet coke, sprite?
231
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:20,583
I think we have
Sprite zero.
232
00:11:20,583 --> 00:11:22,583
Darlin', I'd rather
Die of dehydration
233
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:26,167
Than let you
And your perky little
Legs out of my sight,
234
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:27,208
So instead of
Pouring me a drink,
235
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,667
Why don't you just...
[taps couch]
236
00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:32,625
Sit here next to me
And tell me how you
237
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,917
Poured yourself into
That sexy little number
Of yours this morning?
238
00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:39,958
Yes. No, I promise you
I'm on my way.
239
00:11:39,958 --> 00:11:42,583
It won't be any more
Than, like, 5 minutes, ok?
240
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:45,542
Yes. No, 5, 10 minutes max.
241
00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:46,958
Wait. Yes, absolutely.
242
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:48,750
I did that file for you,
243
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,167
So it has been
Switched over.
244
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,750
They know what samples.
245
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,750
They have the samples
That they need,
246
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:56,625
And you need--
Wait, hold on. What?
247
00:11:56,625 --> 00:11:58,333
No, ok. No problem.
248
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,792
I can pick that up
On my way over.
249
00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:02,542
Absolutely. Yes, yes, yes.
250
00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:03,750
Double tall. Got it.
251
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,417
Yep. Nope.
252
00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:07,583
Up.
253
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:08,667
Everything is fine.
254
00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:11,625
I'm on my way
Right now.
255
00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:15,583
I'm walking out
As we speak, ok? Yeah.
256
00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:16,667
[whispers]
Crap.
257
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,583
Underwear.
258
00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,958
That is so...
Nice of you,
259
00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:27,417
But I'm ok right
Over here. Thanks.
260
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,958
Totsy:
♪ he's my 5-cent soap ♪
261
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:32,083
♪ he's my dope on a rope ♪
262
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,917
So...
263
00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:36,875
How long you been
With camilla?
264
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:39,583
I've been her lead
Contractor for 10 years.
265
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:40,917
Yes, I know.
266
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,167
She says
You're the best
267
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,167
And she can always
Count on you.
268
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,792
You know why?
269
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:46,667
'cause I know
What she wants,
270
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:49,917
And I always do it
Exactly how she likes it.
271
00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:50,125
So tell me...
272
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:59,208
What do you want,
And how do you like it?
273
00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:01,542
Camilla: megan,
Go get my lunch.
274
00:13:01,542 --> 00:13:05,208
I want my usual--
Grilled chicken,
Power salad,
275
00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:05,792
And vinaigrette
On the side
276
00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:08,083
From salad shop.
277
00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:09,500
But salad shop's
All the way
Across town.
278
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,333
It'll take me
At least two hours
To get back.
279
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:14,458
Exactly. Stan...
280
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:16,167
In my office.
281
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:19,042
We should be done
In about 15.
282
00:13:19,042 --> 00:13:22,708
Totsy: ♪ rub a dub
In the tub ♪
283
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:26,083
♪ I hope nobody's watching ♪
284
00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:29,500
♪ he's my 5-cent soap ♪
285
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,542
♪ he's my... ♪
286
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:33,167
Uh, megan?
287
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:35,917
That will never
Happen again.
288
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,667
I am, uh,
I'm really sorry.
289
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:49,333
Jason: it's deja vu.
I see you standing there,
You know.
290
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:52,292
Jason,
The workday's over.
291
00:13:52,292 --> 00:13:55,208
Come out and have
A drink like a normal
Human being,
292
00:13:55,208 --> 00:14:00,458
Which you are,
Even when you're being
Sad and mopey.
293
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:05,500
No, thanks.
I think I need just
Another night by myself.
294
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:08,083
Ok. I'll be at bar 24
If you change your mind.
295
00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:12,792
[laughter]
296
00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:14,583
You guys,
It's all my fault.
297
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:15,583
If I wouldn't have
Been wearing red,
298
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:16,417
He wouldn't have
Thought of sex.
299
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:18,042
No. It's not
Your fault.
300
00:14:18,042 --> 00:14:20,875
Rule number 122, megan:
301
00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:22,125
Just because you
Reel in a creeper
302
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:25,958
Doesn't mean you can't
Throw him back.
303
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:27,125
All right.
304
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:30,958
Man: so I've
Been looking
For these files
305
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:31,958
For, like,
40 minutes,
306
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,542
And guess who
Has them.
307
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,542
Stacey.
308
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,542
So I got to walk
Down there
309
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,583
Because the elevator
Is still out.
310
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:38,542
Eduardo has not
Fixed that.
311
00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:40,542
It's been, like,
A week.
312
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:41,917
By the time
I get upstairs,
313
00:14:41,917 --> 00:14:45,250
I'm a sweaty mess,
And our client is
A germophobe.
314
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:47,542
I'm boring you, huh?
315
00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:50,167
Yeah.
316
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,917
Well, I mean,
You want to get
Out of here?
317
00:14:51,917 --> 00:14:53,250
You want a drink?
318
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,458
We can get some
Pizza down the road.
319
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:55,708
It's great--
Deep-dish, like--
320
00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:58,833
My job is intense.
321
00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:02,167
I spend all day
Telling people what to do.
322
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,167
All I want is for
Someone to come home
323
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,292
And tell me exactly
What to do.
324
00:15:08,292 --> 00:15:11,667
Well, I can think
Of a few things
325
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:13,167
I'd like you to do.
326
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,458
Yeah?
327
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:16,542
Yeah.
328
00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:17,333
Like what?
329
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,417
[exhales]
330
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:32,958
Breathe. Relax.
331
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:36,500
Let's get out of here.
332
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,250
Yeah?
333
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:41,500
I want your big,
Hard cock inside me
Right now.
334
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,875
Well, you're gonna
Get my hard cock
In you,
335
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:44,708
But I'm not
Gonna lie.
336
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:47,500
It's not big.
337
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:51,792
Well, I want your
Tiny, hard cock in me
Right now.
338
00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:52,458
Like a baby carrot.
339
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,292
Yeah.
340
00:15:54,292 --> 00:15:58,083
No, but really,
It's not that big.
341
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,292
Oh. You're serious.
342
00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:03,250
I'm gonna
Put it in you
343
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,208
After I've made you
Come more times
With my tongue
344
00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:07,542
Than you've ever
Come in a night.
345
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,542
Promise.
346
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,667
That's the first time
Anyone has turned me on
347
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:15,958
By telling me how small
Their dick is.
348
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:18,500
It's like
A tater tot.
349
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,750
[exhales and inhales]
350
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,292
Pay the bill.
351
00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:27,542
Over here.
Guys, this is amy.
352
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:30,750
Amy, this is megan,
Jenna, and tyler.
353
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,375
I don't want to
Speak too soon,
354
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,000
But I have asked
Tyler to please,
Please, please hire her
355
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,833
As his new bartender.
356
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,083
Tyler: welcome, amy.
357
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,542
Thank you, captain.
358
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:42,333
All right. Two
Long island iced teas,
359
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:45,333
A vodka soda,
Bushmills up, and
A vodka cranberry. Go.
360
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:47,833
Uh, douchebag,
Douchebag,
Skinny bitch,
361
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:50,500
Hipster,
And hot girl?
362
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,875
Nice. What else
Can you do?
363
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:53,833
I don't have
A gag reflex.
364
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,625
Ha! You're in.
Whoo!
365
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:56,125
Welcome to
The family.
366
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:58,000
Thank you!
367
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,500
[music playing]
368
00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:06,042
♪ transmit the angels ♪
369
00:17:06,042 --> 00:17:08,750
♪ is anybody out there? ♪
370
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,167
There you are.
371
00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:12,583
Hey! You made it.
372
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:15,625
Yeah. Well, I started
Talking to my paperwork,
373
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:18,167
And, uh, it wasn't
Saying anything back,
374
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,500
So I figured a change
Of scenery might
Do me some good.
375
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:22,750
Oh.
376
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,208
Jason, this is, um...
377
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,208
Byron.
378
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:27,208
Brian.
379
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:30,250
Byron.
What up,
Bro?
380
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,125
We were actually
Just leaving,
381
00:17:32,125 --> 00:17:33,708
But have a good time
Tonight, ok?
382
00:17:33,708 --> 00:17:35,250
I want to hear some
Scandalous stories
383
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:37,833
By the water cooler
Tomorrow. Ok?
384
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,917
Right.
385
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:43,417
Sure. I'll just be,
Uh...
386
00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:44,042
Cool.
387
00:17:44,042 --> 00:17:46,833
Have a good night.
388
00:17:48,542 --> 00:17:51,333
Hey, you see that
Girl over there?
389
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,458
I've seen her sitting
Here all night.
390
00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:55,792
You can leave with her
In less than 10 minutes
391
00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:57,333
If you just walk
Up to her,
392
00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:59,958
Nod, and say,
"Let's go."
393
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:04,250
Right.
Like that'll work.
394
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,125
Till tomorrow, jay.
395
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:23,875
I hate to say this,
396
00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:25,625
But I have to go
To woodworking.
397
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,042
Yeah. I have to meet
Ben for our anniversary.
398
00:18:28,042 --> 00:18:30,250
I got to go
Reorganize my closet.
399
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:33,417
What? I have to relabel
Everything.
400
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:36,875
Have fun with that.
401
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,625
And you--don't
Stay out too late.
402
00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:39,250
What?
403
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,000
Hey, you, listen.
404
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,250
Pervs will be pervs
No matter what you wear.
405
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:45,250
So you might as well
Wear what you want,
406
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,750
Especially when you
Look awesome.
407
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,250
Let's go.
408
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,125
[deeper voice]
Let's go.
409
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,333
Let's go.
410
00:19:08,542 --> 00:19:09,750
Let's...Go.
411
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:10,542
[door opens]
412
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:11,750
Man: where are we
Going?
413
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,250
[toilet flushes]
414
00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:04,333
Let's go.
415
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,167
Sweet.
416
00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:12,333
Oh, my god.
That actually worked.
417
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,167
Wow. Nice place.
418
00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:30,750
Thanks. I was, uh,
Actually thinking of
Redec--
419
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,917
--orating.
420
00:20:34,917 --> 00:20:37,917
Oh.
421
00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:39,250
Yeah.
422
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:42,208
I was thinking
Blue or...
423
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,917
Change the
Window dressing...
424
00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:44,917
[unzipping]
425
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:48,500
Maybe get a new
Media cent--ahh.
426
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,667
Hi there, big boy.
427
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,875
Hello.
428
00:21:03,292 --> 00:21:06,042
Totsy: ♪ you say stop,
I say go ♪
429
00:21:06,042 --> 00:21:08,000
♪ you say hot, I say cold ♪
430
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,958
♪ you say yes,
I say no ♪
431
00:21:12,958 --> 00:21:14,458
♪ how will we get together? ♪
432
00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:16,125
♪ you say black,
I say white ♪
433
00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:19,917
♪ you say wrong,
I say right ♪
434
00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:22,375
♪ you say dark, I say light ♪
435
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:25,083
♪ oh, no, don't want to
Fight each other ♪
436
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,083
♪ doo ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
437
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:30,583
♪ doo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
438
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:33,125
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
439
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,000
♪ and I love you for that ♪
440
00:21:43,708 --> 00:21:46,750
Huh. Wow.
441
00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:48,750
You weren't kidding,
Were you?
442
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:53,208
Really fits
In the palm of your
Hand, doesn't it?
443
00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,875
Yeah. You just wait.
444
00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:58,542
[sighing]
445
00:21:58,542 --> 00:22:00,292
Oh!
446
00:22:58,417 --> 00:22:59,708
I'm sorry.
447
00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,083
What?
448
00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:01,833
I can't do this.
449
00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:04,208
What did you say?
450
00:23:04,208 --> 00:23:06,750
I'm saying...
451
00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:08,542
I think you
Should go.
452
00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:21,083
[door opens and closes]
453
00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:28,333
[moaning]
454
00:23:32,292 --> 00:23:34,917
Ok. Ok.
455
00:23:34,917 --> 00:23:36,542
[moaning]
456
00:23:42,792 --> 00:23:45,167
Wow.
457
00:23:45,167 --> 00:23:47,125
Big things really
Do come in small packages.
458
00:23:52,250 --> 00:23:56,917
Sam: that was fun.
That was actually fun.
459
00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:59,000
I could do that
All night.
460
00:23:59,000 --> 00:23:59,917
Ahh.
461
00:23:59,917 --> 00:24:01,458
All right,
Let's do it.
462
00:24:02,958 --> 00:24:04,375
What?
463
00:24:04,375 --> 00:24:05,250
Let's go
Destroy some stuff.
464
00:24:07,875 --> 00:24:10,333
I don't know
What you're saying.
465
00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:11,792
You just said
You wanted to go
Destroy stuff,
466
00:24:11,792 --> 00:24:14,417
So let's go back to
My brother's place
467
00:24:14,417 --> 00:24:15,167
And destroy stuff.
468
00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:19,417
Are you trying
To say
469
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:20,708
You hate your brother?
470
00:24:20,708 --> 00:24:21,875
No, no.
I love my brother.
He's amazing.
471
00:24:21,875 --> 00:24:23,542
Why would you
Say that?
That's horrible.
472
00:24:23,542 --> 00:24:26,708
I don't know,
Maybe because you said
473
00:24:26,708 --> 00:24:27,917
You wanted to
Destroy stuff.
474
00:24:27,917 --> 00:24:29,083
No, no.
My brother just
Moved to sao paolo
475
00:24:29,083 --> 00:24:30,833
To start
A hedge fund,
476
00:24:30,833 --> 00:24:31,917
And I'm crashing
At his place
For a few weeks
477
00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:34,042
To figure
Some shit out.
478
00:24:34,042 --> 00:24:36,042
He asked me to
Get rid of all
The stuff.
479
00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:41,167
So let's go
Destroy shit.
480
00:24:43,250 --> 00:24:44,875
Come on!
481
00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:48,542
[train passing by]
482
00:24:48,542 --> 00:24:52,333
Sam: wow. This place
Is already pretty
Destroyed.
483
00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,875
What are you gonna
Do--vacuum?
484
00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:56,792
You're gonna need these.
485
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,125
[glass breaking]
486
00:25:28,292 --> 00:25:30,958
Well, you got to--
You got to kick harder.
487
00:25:30,958 --> 00:25:32,458
Harder!
488
00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:33,167
Come on. There we go.
489
00:26:21,083 --> 00:26:23,875
This is my first time
Since my ex.
490
00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:26,208
That's ok.
I haven't done it
In a while, either.
491
00:26:26,208 --> 00:26:28,708
I'm probably gonna
Be thinking about him.
492
00:26:28,708 --> 00:26:31,250
That's fine.
493
00:26:31,250 --> 00:26:33,000
Most people are
Distracted during
Sex anyway.
494
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:58,792
Trev: ♪ oh, you stepped
Into my life ♪
495
00:26:58,792 --> 00:27:01,333
♪ I was so petrified ♪
496
00:27:01,333 --> 00:27:06,458
♪ but I kept coming
Back for more ♪
497
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,583
♪ oh ♪
498
00:27:09,583 --> 00:27:12,125
You're beautiful.
499
00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:13,292
Thanks. Sweet.
500
00:27:13,292 --> 00:27:14,417
Thanks.
501
00:27:20,417 --> 00:27:24,250
Just to be clear, this
Doesn't mean anything.
502
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:26,625
I know. I know.
You got a lot of stuff.
503
00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:28,792
You're holding it
Right now.
504
00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:33,000
Are you saying
I'm oppressed?
505
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,083
You think too much.
506
00:27:37,083 --> 00:27:38,292
[both moaning]
507
00:27:53,875 --> 00:27:56,042
[wood cracking]
508
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,000
I just came.
509
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,125
I know. Me, too.
510
00:28:17,292 --> 00:28:19,333
[crash]
511
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:23,875
[both laugh]
512
00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:35,792
Della swiss:
♪ if I was a road ♪
513
00:28:35,792 --> 00:28:38,958
♪ I would be yellow ♪
514
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:42,417
♪ a never-ending road ♪
515
00:28:42,417 --> 00:28:45,000
♪ in both directions ♪
516
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,167
♪ and if I was a tree ♪
517
00:29:01,875 --> 00:29:03,833
Next on "Girl's guide
To depravity"...
518
00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:04,917
Rule one:
Women don't have a clue
519
00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:06,917
What they really want.
520
00:29:06,917 --> 00:29:09,500
What they want is you.
521
00:29:09,500 --> 00:29:10,333
Why are we
Doing this?
522
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:11,208
Oh, it's women's
Intuition.
523
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:12,625
If you can't
Access your own,
524
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,792
You have to get close
To someone else's
Motherboard.
525
00:29:14,792 --> 00:29:18,125
Truth or dare?
526
00:29:18,125 --> 00:29:18,625
Truth.
527
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:21,500
Oh.
528
00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:23,750
And I had this urge,
529
00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:26,583
But it looks like
You had an urge, too,
530
00:29:26,583 --> 00:29:28,917
And you're right
In the middle of
Indulging it.
531
00:29:28,917 --> 00:29:31,250
Sam. Come on, wait.
35999
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