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1
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:19,125
[fireworks exploding]
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00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:50,250
[Greg] It's hard to imagine two people
more different than me and my dad.
3
00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:53,625
So, whoever came up with the saying,
"like father, like son,"
4
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,292
never met the two of us.
5
00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:59,042
For instance, I've been trying
to take it easy over the holiday break
6
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:02,292
and I like to stay in bed until I can't
stand the taste of my breath anymore.
7
00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:03,458
[exhales, sniffs]
8
00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:05,333
- [demonic laughter]
- Eh.
9
00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:07,500
But my dad's one of those guys who likes
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00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:11,000
to get up at the crack of dawn
and start getting things done.
11
00:01:11,083 --> 00:01:12,583
- [screams]
- [whistles]
12
00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:13,667
[Greg] Once I'm out of bed,
13
00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:17,250
I'm one of those people that
likes to ease into their morning.
14
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:20,167
And for me, that means spending a few
minutes warming up over the heating vent.
15
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:22,292
- [sighs in relief, chuckles]
- Huh?
16
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,500
[Greg] But I guess my dad's just
not wired the same way.
17
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:27,375
- [Frank] Hmm.
- [screams, teeth clattering]
18
00:01:29,208 --> 00:01:32,958
[Greg] Even on Christmas day,
Dad goes into full drill sergeant mode.
19
00:01:33,042 --> 00:01:35,708
And I know he just wants
to be on time for church.
20
00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:38,458
But there's gotta be a better way
to get your kid moving.
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00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:40,833
[screams, grumbles]
22
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:44,292
So, my plan is to stay out of my dad's way
as much as possible,
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00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:47,708
because the combination
of the two of us just isn't working.
24
00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:53,208
- [wind howling]
- [ticking]
25
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:02,125
I don't know what's taking Greg so long.
All he has to do is put on clothes.
26
00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:04,833
Don't worry.
I'm sure he'll be out in a moment.
27
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,750
Careful not to get chocolate
on your church clothes, Manny.
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00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:11,333
[chomping] Mmm, Santa! [chomps]
29
00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:14,625
I don't know why we have to wear
fancy clothes to church.
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00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:17,875
I mean, who are we tryin'
to impress, anyway?
31
00:02:17,958 --> 00:02:20,458
Some of us have to wear clothes
like these every day, you know?
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00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:24,750
Yeah, I'm not gonna get one of those jobs
where you have to dress up like a nerd.
33
00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:27,667
And what kind of job
are you plannin' on having, Rodrick?
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00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:31,208
I don't know.
Gravedigger, ticket scalper, pirate.
35
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,750
Wait, do you have to get
good grades for that?
36
00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:37,375
'Cause my last report card
was a little shaky.
37
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,875
He really should be out by now.
38
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,042
You know what?
Maybe I should go check on him.
39
00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:42,250
Relax, dear.
40
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:45,375
But if Greg doesn't come out soon,
we're not getting a seat.
41
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,542
Wait. We might have to stand?
42
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,917
- [groans softly]
- [car honking]
43
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,542
[Frank] Are you crazy?
44
00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:54,250
[screaming] Yo, Greg, let's go!
45
00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:58,667
- [car honking]
- Huh?
46
00:03:02,125 --> 00:03:03,167
Whoops!
47
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,167
Whoa! [groans]
48
00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:07,375
[yelps, groans]
49
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,792
[grunting] Come on.
50
00:03:09,625 --> 00:03:12,417
[footsteps thumping]
51
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,667
Oops. [chuckles nervously]
52
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,167
- Finally.
- Hurry up!
53
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:21,542
- Sorry. I was having trouble with my tie.
- Yeah.
54
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,250
I'll help you with that
when we get to church.
55
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,917
- Stop!
- [Manny] Ho, ho, ho!
56
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,333
- Manny!
- [Manny laughs mischievously]
57
00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:27,958
[Frank] Okay, come on. Just hop in.
58
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,625
- Okay, off we go.
- [Susan] Wait!
59
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:34,000
- [grunts] What?
- Greg, where's your coat?
60
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,375
Oh, he's fine, Susan. Look, we gotta move.
61
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,375
He'll catch a cold.
Now, run back inside and go get it.
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00:03:39,458 --> 00:03:42,833
But I locked the door.
How am I supposed to get in the house?
63
00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:46,417
- [sighs] With a key.
- A key?
64
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,125
What am I supposed to do with that?
65
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:51,292
- You just turn it in the deadbolt.
- A deadbolt?
66
00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:53,375
- And please hurry.
- Yeah!
67
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:55,667
This oughta be good. [chomps]
68
00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,917
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
69
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,833
Okay, here we go.
70
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:06,625
- [clinking]
- Uh...
71
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,333
Has this kid really never used
a key before?
72
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,917
- Bro...
- [both chuckle]
73
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,208
[grunting]
74
00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:15,375
- [sighs wearily]
- [car honks]
75
00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:18,042
You know what?
I'll go get the coat, Susan.
76
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,875
Frank, it'll only take Greg a second, honey.
77
00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:25,083
[sighs wearily] Did I really
never teach him to use a key?
78
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:27,917
[groans] Turn already! Come on!
79
00:04:28,792 --> 00:04:31,292
Ah-ha! Hey, I did it.
80
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,333
See? You just needed to believe in him.
81
00:04:34,417 --> 00:04:36,000
Hmm.
82
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:39,708
- [clicking]
- [groans]
83
00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:43,167
Come on! [grunting]
84
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,875
- What the...
- Stupid door.
85
00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,292
[grunting]
86
00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,292
[whooshes, clatters]
87
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,833
- [screams]
- [screams]
88
00:05:13,042 --> 00:05:15,292
Aw, man! [grunts]
89
00:05:17,292 --> 00:05:18,292
[groans softly]
90
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:21,583
- Oh, Bubby.
- [both laugh]
91
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:24,500
[sighs] I'll be right back.
92
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,500
So, we're staying home, right?
93
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,708
[engine roaring]
94
00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:33,875
- Whoa!
- [all screaming]
95
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,417
- [Manny laughing]
- [tires screeching]
96
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,125
- [car honks]
- Hey, watch it, road hog!
97
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,583
- [Manny laughs]
- [tires screeching]
98
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:40,833
Hold on!
99
00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:42,417
- [screaming]
- [Manny] Yeah!
100
00:05:43,292 --> 00:05:45,792
- [people screaming]
- [man 1] Hey, we're walkin' here.
101
00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:47,000
[man 2] Drive much?
102
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,792
[woman] Way to spread holiday cheer,
Heffleys!
103
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:52,167
- Uh, Merry Christmas, neighbors.
- [man 3] Yeah, hi.
104
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:56,083
[Frank groaning] See?
There aren't any spots left.
105
00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,167
[Susan gasping] Ooh, Frank, there's one.
106
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,667
And the Warrens just took it.
107
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,333
[Frank] Of course, they did.
108
00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:07,333
[Greg] The Warren family. Mr. Warren works
at the same company as my dad,
109
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,667
- What?
- [Greg] but he's a few rungs
110
00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,583
higher up on the ladder than my father.
111
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,833
[chorus singing] ♪ Hallelujah! ♪
112
00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:13,667
[Greg] They're also
our next-door neighbors.
113
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,375
No matter what we do,
they're always one-upping our family.
114
00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:18,458
[teeth clattering]
115
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,417
[video game beeping, chirrups]
116
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,667
[Greg] And I've got nothing
against Weston,
117
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,625
but he's always making me look bad.
118
00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:30,583
- Yeah!
- Way to stick the landing, son.
119
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:32,042
[grunting]
120
00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:35,875
Come on. There's gotta be
a spot somewhere. Come on, spot.
121
00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,167
Where's a spot? Uh, come on. [gasps]
122
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,250
We did it, guys! We made it!
123
00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,083
[church bells tolling]
124
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:47,167
More or less.
125
00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,792
Come on, team, we can still make it.
126
00:06:52,042 --> 00:06:53,583
[panting]
127
00:06:55,042 --> 00:06:56,125
[laughs heartily]
128
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,542
- Look at Bubby's butt!
- Greg, what happened to your pants?
129
00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:04,042
Huh? [groaning] I must've sat
on Manny's Chocolate Santa.
130
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,500
[sighing] Greg, you gotta be kidding me.
131
00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:09,792
You know what? It's fine.
I'm sure no one will notice.
132
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,208
What? I'm not going in there
looking like this.
133
00:07:12,292 --> 00:07:14,667
Hold on. I have wet wipes in my purse.
134
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,583
Mom, cut it out. You're making it worse!
135
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,583
- [Susan] Just hold still.
- [camera shutter clicks]
136
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:22,208
- This is the next Löded Diper album cover.
- [camera shutter clicks]
137
00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:23,333
- [chuckles]
- [bell tolling]
138
00:07:23,417 --> 00:07:25,583
Come on. The service is about to start.
139
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,667
- [Rodrick] Here. You can wear my pants.
- [laughs]
140
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:30,292
I'll hang back in the car
and take one for the team.
141
00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,917
Nice try, Rodrick. Put your pants back on
142
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,333
and just make sure nobody sees you...
143
00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:34,750
[Mr. Warren] Merry Christmas, Heffleys.
144
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:37,208
- Oh, dear.
- Lookin'... sharp.
145
00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:39,958
Uh, let me know if I can help, Susan.
146
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,667
[sighs wearily] Merry Christmas, Warrens.
147
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:45,542
Wow, you blew right past us on the road.
148
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:48,125
I'm surprised that bucket of bolts
could move that fast.
149
00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:51,208
- Ain't I right, Wes?
- Uh... Yeah. [chuckles softly]
150
00:07:51,292 --> 00:07:53,417
Yeah, well, you...
you work with what you have.
151
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,208
- [church bell tolling]
- All right, Speedy.
152
00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:56,500
Race you to the last seat.
153
00:07:56,583 --> 00:07:59,417
Wait till you see Weston's
fifty-yard dash. Come on, Weston!
154
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:02,083
[sighs wearily] We'll be right behind you.
155
00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,542
[Mr. Warren] Come on.
Keep up the pace, Weston.
156
00:08:04,625 --> 00:08:05,625
[sighs]
157
00:08:06,292 --> 00:08:07,542
[church bell tolls]
158
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,458
Wait! I got a shortcut.
159
00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:14,083
But what about Greg's pants?
160
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:16,458
There's no time.
Just cover it up with something.
161
00:08:16,542 --> 00:08:18,708
- Like what?
- Doesn't matter. Let's go.
162
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,083
Now!
163
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,458
[♪ organ playing, "Joy to the World"]
164
00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:34,833
[indistinct chatter]
165
00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:40,917
- [♪ music concludes]
- Mmm-hmm.
166
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,375
[priest] On this beautiful
Christmas morning,
167
00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:47,208
it's wonderful looking out
over our blessed congregation.
168
00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:48,958
- [doorknob rattling]
- [priest yelps]
169
00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:50,042
[woman] What?
170
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:51,625
- Way to make an entrance.
- [people grumble]
171
00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:53,250
- [man] Christmas miracle.
- [priest] Uh...
172
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:56,500
- Christmas is a time of beginnings.
- [chuckles nervously]
173
00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,042
All right, everybody. Come on, let's go.
174
00:08:58,125 --> 00:09:02,333
- And it's not just about giving gifts.
- Okay, Susan, Manny,
175
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,833
- Rodrick, and...
- It's about enjoying the special time
176
00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:08,542
- that you have with your family.
- No way.
177
00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:10,833
- Oh, no, you don't!
- No, you can't make me do this!
178
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,208
- [grunting] Yes, I can! Come on. Greg!
- [grunts]
179
00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:17,875
- When the wise men follow the stars,
- [Greg] No.
180
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,833
- blindly into the abyss.
- How embarrassing.
181
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:25,708
[priest] They rose above them. They knew.
They knew what they were doing.
182
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:28,875
- They knew...
- Hurry up. Everybody's watching.
183
00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,375
[priest] They followed that light,
184
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:33,750
- because they knew at the end of that...
- [grunting]
185
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,042
[yelping]
186
00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:39,125
- Whoa!
- [all gasping]
187
00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:40,542
- Oh, my gosh!
- Is that...
188
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,542
[laughing]
189
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,042
Somebody's gotta clean that up.
190
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,292
[harmonic wailing, yelps]
191
00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:49,000
- [all gasping]
- Yikes!
192
00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,125
Glad that's not our boy.
193
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:51,625
It's Christmas, Walt.
194
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,583
- [exhales]
- [indistinct praying]
195
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,542
I'm out.
196
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:03,667
[sighs] Greg. Okay, we're leaving.
197
00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:09,333
[yelps] Chocolate Santa! [wailing] No!
198
00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,000
[man] Okay. It's all over.
199
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,333
[chuckles nervously]
200
00:10:13,417 --> 00:10:18,167
Interruptions don't disrupt the spirit.
They just remind us that we're all human.
201
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,167
- [shudders]
- Yikes!
202
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,417
Is this heaven?
203
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,875
- Oh! There you are.
- [yelps]
204
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:36,500
I've been lookin' all over for you.
205
00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:39,292
I should've known you'd be down here
playin' with your toys.
206
00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:42,833
Careful! These aren't toys, Susan.
207
00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:46,792
They're accurate, one-sixteenth scaled
miniature Revolutionary War figurines.
208
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:50,125
Boy, you're a little testy today.
Something on your mind?
209
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:54,708
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, hon. I just can't
get over what happened on Christmas.
210
00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:57,875
Frank, that was three days ago.
Greg sat in chocolate.
211
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,042
Let's not make
a mountain out of a molehill.
212
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:04,417
Yeah, well... well, Greg has a talent
for spinning disasters outta thin air.
213
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,875
But no, th... that's not even
what's bothering me.
214
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,792
Susan, our middle schooler
didn't even know how to use a key.
215
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:11,750
And now he does. So, what's the big deal?
216
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:15,583
No, Susan, it's... If he didn't know
how to use a key... [stutters]
217
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,625
...what else haven't I taught him?
218
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:22,792
I just feel like I don't know how to be
the father a kid like Greg needs.
219
00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:26,167
I feel like I'm failing him.
220
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:30,583
Well, Greg might have
a few surprises up his sleeve.
221
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:34,667
Did you know that he's startin' a snow
removal business with his friend Rowley?
222
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:38,208
A snow removal business?
But Greg won't even shovel our driveway.
223
00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:42,042
Why don't you go check on the boys
and bring them some hot cocoa?
224
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:45,625
Uh... sure. But wait. Wait, wait, wait.
225
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:48,250
What's Greg calling
this business of his anyway?
226
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,333
[man] "Beefcake Snow Removal?" Hmm.
227
00:11:52,417 --> 00:11:54,750
Pamper yourself with
our award-winning service.
228
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,083
[grunting]
229
00:11:58,333 --> 00:11:59,417
[grunts]
230
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,167
[chuckles nervously] That is,
Beefcake Snow Removal
231
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,833
comes with many five-star reviews
from loyal customers.
232
00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:07,083
But we haven't had any-- [yelps]
233
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:09,667
So, uh, when do we start?
234
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,083
- Not today.
- Now beat it, punk!
235
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,333
Oh, uh, sorry. That's our only flyer.
236
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:19,208
- [chuckles nervously]
- [grunts]
237
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:25,500
[grunts] There's gotta be someone around
here who needs their driveway shoveled.
238
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,333
I thought this flyer would work for sure.
239
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,417
Hmm.
240
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,875
Maybe I should've made my biceps bigger.
241
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,625
Do we have to keep doing this?
242
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,167
Me and my dad are supposed
to go shopping today.
243
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:38,333
We gotta get our camping gear
for the Icy Pines Campout.
244
00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:42,583
The Icy Pines Campout?
Really? You're still doing that?
245
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:43,833
Yeah. Do you wanna come?
246
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:46,583
The Woodchippers are tryin'
to recruit new members?
247
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:50,708
Uh, spending the weekend in a nylon tent
with my father in the freezing cold
248
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,375
is like my worst nightmare.
249
00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:56,583
Well, my dad's my best friend.
Uh, second best, I mean, after you.
250
00:12:57,083 --> 00:13:00,083
Hello, Greg Heffley.
251
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:04,375
Do you wanna play with me
and my snow friends?
252
00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:06,083
[laughs maliciously]
253
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:09,250
Maybe later, Fregley.
[whispering] Let's get out of here.
254
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:13,583
- [yelps]
- You know where to find us. [laughs]
255
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,000
[panting, sighs]
256
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:18,042
Okay. So, let me get this straight.
257
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:21,125
You actually spent time with your dad?
Like, on purpose?
258
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:24,083
Yeah. My dad's been
helpin' me earn my merit badges.
259
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:28,042
And if I work extra hard,
maybe one day I can become...
260
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:32,042
A Woodchipper Elite!
[♪ vocalizing trumpet music]
261
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,167
[♪ angelic music playing]
262
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,792
Great job, Rowley. I love you.
263
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,042
Aw. I love you too, Dad.
264
00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:42,625
Yeah, that sounds like a lot of effort
just to get a stupid patch.
265
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:45,167
Can't you just buy a used one
online or something?
266
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,000
- Of course, you can't!
- [Mrs. Canfield groaning]
267
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:49,000
- You have to--
- Wait. What's that?
268
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:52,458
[groans] There goes my back again.
269
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:55,375
- It's Mrs. Canfield.
- Maybe we should go help her.
270
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:58,167
Are you kidding me?
This is a business, not a charity.
271
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:02,542
Mrs. Canfield! Are you familiar with
the Beefcake Snow Removal service?
272
00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:03,708
[growling]
273
00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:06,958
Don't worry.
Puddles just had his rabies shot.
274
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:12,458
- [groans]
- Baby. [cooing]
275
00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:16,000
Careful. You know how Mrs. Canfield
is about her Christmas stuff.
276
00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:18,917
- Sorry.
- There, there, sweet boy.
277
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,375
[chuckles nervously]
278
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:23,000
We don't wanna give her
any reason to dock our pay.
279
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:25,708
But this wet snow is so heavy.
280
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,125
Maybe we should wait
and let it melt a little.
281
00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:32,500
No, we've gotta finish this job today.
282
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:35,458
We just need to figure out a way
to make this go quicker.
283
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,833
- Does she have a snow blower?
- No luck.
284
00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:42,833
But she's got something
that's just as good.
285
00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:48,583
- [sighs] How do we turn this thing on?
- I don't know.
286
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:51,042
Maybe this is the power button?
287
00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:52,458
- [lawn mower rattles]
- [coughs]
288
00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:53,542
Come on, Rowley.
289
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:56,500
If you're gonna work for me, you've gotta
know how to do stuff like this.
290
00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:59,500
Work for you? I thought we were partners.
291
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:04,000
Partners? I'm management, Rowley.
You're Labor. Different levels.
292
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:07,417
Well, I'm not doing this
unless we get paid the same.
293
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:11,208
Look, we can talk about adjusting your pay
after your six-month review.
294
00:15:11,292 --> 00:15:14,750
But right now, this conversation
is cutting into your break time.
295
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:20,125
Oh, yeah? Well, good luck doing this by
yourself. I'm going shopping with my dad.
296
00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:23,125
Wait, Rowley! I'll give you
a three-percent raise
297
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:26,583
and a holiday bonus. Oh! Come on!
298
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,917
What's got my whubby all upset?
299
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,375
[growling]
300
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:33,917
[chuckles nervously]
301
00:15:35,958 --> 00:15:38,292
Okay. How do we start this thing?
302
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:42,708
- [thumps]
- Mmm. Ah-ha!
303
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:45,167
- [motor sputtering]
- [grunting]
304
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,792
- [grunts]
- [motor whirring]
305
00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,500
Yes! Here we go.
306
00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:54,792
- [chuckles softly]
- [barking]
307
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,542
That's a good boy.
308
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,500
- [gasps]
- [Puddles barking]
309
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,792
- [clinking]
- Oops!
310
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,208
All right. Not bad, but way too slow.
311
00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:05,250
Let's see what this bad boy can do.
312
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,417
- [motor roaring]
- Whoa!
313
00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:15,583
[gasps] Carnage! Yay! [chuckles excitedly]
314
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,667
Whoa!
315
00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:20,875
- [man singing] ♪ Silent Night ♪
- [muffled screaming]
316
00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:22,917
[gags, gasps]
317
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,875
Whoa!
318
00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:29,458
- [gasps]
- [barking]
319
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,000
[Greg] No! Bad boy, go away!
320
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:33,292
[growling]
321
00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:34,792
- [chomps]
- [screams]
322
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,042
- [screams]
- [motor roaring]
323
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,250
[groans, screams]
324
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,750
[whimpering]
325
00:16:45,875 --> 00:16:47,500
- [yelps]
- [motor roaring]
326
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:49,833
[screaming]
327
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,333
[yelping]
328
00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:00,875
Oof!
329
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:09,708
[yelps]
330
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:12,958
- [gasps]
- [yelps]
331
00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:18,375
[muffled] No!
332
00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:20,375
[♪ triumphant music playing]
333
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,292
[♪ music stops abruptly]
334
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,208
[barking]
335
00:17:26,292 --> 00:17:29,958
Hey, Greg! I brought you boys
some hot cocoa-- Oh, no!
336
00:17:30,042 --> 00:17:31,042
[chuckles nervously]
337
00:17:31,125 --> 00:17:32,542
- [chomps]
- [yelps]
338
00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:35,750
[Frank sighing]
339
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,583
Oh, great. We're missing the bolt.
340
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:40,708
- Greg, find the bolt!
- Okay, okay. I'm looking.
341
00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:45,417
So, do you think I should give
Mrs. Canfield a discount or something?
342
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,833
[sighing] Greg, what were you thinking?
343
00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:51,292
- Mowing the snow?
- I was just tryin' to get it done quicker.
344
00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:53,708
And look at where
taking a shortcut got you.
345
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:56,583
You're gonna have to figure out a way
to undo all this damage.
346
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:57,875
Oh.
347
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,792
But first, we gotta fix this mower.
348
00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:02,167
And we can't attach the blade
if we can't find the bolt.
349
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:03,250
Huh?
350
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:08,500
Ah! [grunting, exclaiming] Whoo! [grunts]
351
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:14,250
- You lookin' for this, Mr. Heffley?
- Oh, yeah, actually. Thanks.
352
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:15,917
Sorry. Do... Do I know you?
353
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,375
I should hope so.
I'm Lenwood, from Whirley Street.
354
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:21,792
Wait a minute. Lenwood? Not Lenwood Heath?
355
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,375
Yes, sir. One and the same.
356
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:26,375
[Greg] The guy standing before us
was Lenwood Heath,
357
00:18:26,458 --> 00:18:29,292
who used to be one of the biggest
troublemakers in our neighborhood.
358
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:30,625
- [Lenwood laughs mischievously]
- [whistles]
359
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:31,708
[Greg] And a few years back,
360
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:34,167
he used to toilet paper our house
every Friday night.
361
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,792
Curse you, Lenwood Heath!
362
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,458
Take that, old man! [laughs mischievously]
363
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:41,083
[Greg] Then one day,
Lenwood was just gone,
364
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,458
and nobody's seen him since.
At least until now.
365
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,750
I guess I can't blame you
for not recognizing me.
366
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,958
Spag Union's changed me a lot.
367
00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:53,833
Spag Union, huh? Is that, like,
some sort of private school?
368
00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:57,208
Uh, it's much more than that, Mr. Heffley.
It's a military academy.
369
00:18:57,292 --> 00:19:01,083
Cadets sleep in barracks and are up
at the crack of dawn for fitness drills.
370
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:02,458
[electricity crackling]
371
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:06,583
[grunts] It's where I changed
from an unmotivated slacker
372
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,042
to the man you see here before you.
373
00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:12,833
Ooh! Now that's a beefcake.
374
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:14,750
[Puddles barks, growls excitedly]
375
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:18,000
- [barking]
- Aw. Here you go, little buddy.
376
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:19,583
[grunts, exclaims]
377
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:23,167
You know, I can always put in a good word
for Greg, if you'd like.
378
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,958
Spag Union's always looking for raw clay
to mold into strong men.
379
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,125
Yeah, that's really not necessary.
380
00:19:29,208 --> 00:19:31,917
Oh, gotta run.
It was a pleasure seeing you gentlemen.
381
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,208
Whoo!
382
00:19:33,292 --> 00:19:35,833
Spag Union. Huh.
383
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,125
Oh, boy.
384
00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:43,875
[Drill Sergeant] Tradition. Leadership.
Character building.
385
00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:47,875
These are the principals that
guide our mission at Spag Union.
386
00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:50,292
When you send your child to Spag Union,
387
00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:53,542
you're entrusting us
to help them reach their potential.
388
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:58,458
At Spag Union, we believe strict rules
and regulations help build character
389
00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:00,583
and create confident young men.
390
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:05,417
Aimless days of playing video games
and reading comic books
391
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:09,500
are replaced by days
full of strenuous physical activity...
392
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,625
[muffled yelling]
393
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:12,875
[Drill Sergeant] ...that begin
before the crack of dawn.
394
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:17,375
We're confident that our time-tested
methods will shape your son...
395
00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:18,708
Mmm-hmm.
396
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:21,125
...into the man he's destined to become.
397
00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:22,208
- Hut! Hut!
- Hmm.
398
00:20:22,292 --> 00:20:26,333
Spag Union.
Because your child's future is worth it.
399
00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:31,500
And there you go. Pretty cool, right?
400
00:20:31,583 --> 00:20:35,250
Nuh-uh. No way. I wouldn't survive
the first day at a place like that.
401
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:37,792
I admit you might be
a little uncomfortable at first,
402
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,542
but I'm sure you'll adjust.
403
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:43,500
But that place probably has open showers.
I can't do open showers.
404
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:46,292
Oh, I'm sure it can't be that bad, Greg.
405
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:49,000
We'll break your son down
and build him back up.
406
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,083
- Manny, stop it!
- Ha!
407
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,208
Uh, Mom, help me out here.
408
00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:55,042
He's got a point, Frank.
409
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:58,917
I can't see us sending Greg off
to an expensive boarding school.
410
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,167
We can barely afford
name-brand peanut butter.
411
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,292
Uh, we would be investing
in our son, Susan.
412
00:21:04,375 --> 00:21:07,292
A school like this could teach him
valuable life lessons.
413
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,333
Life lessons, Susan.
414
00:21:09,417 --> 00:21:12,167
Well, life lessons are important.
415
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:15,958
You should send Rodrick there instead.
He needs this way more than I do.
416
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:20,333
Nah, it's too late to change me.
My personality's locked-in.
417
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:22,625
[belches]
418
00:21:22,708 --> 00:21:26,333
Our job is to make up
for your parenting deficiencies.
419
00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:30,292
Uh, okay, but what if I can
teach myself life lessons?
420
00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:32,667
Well, these skills are hard, Greg.
421
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,375
And you can't learn them
without proper instruction.
422
00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:38,042
Um... Uh... Um...
423
00:21:38,125 --> 00:21:39,333
[gasps]
424
00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:44,500
Actually, I've been thinking
about joining the Woodchippers.
425
00:21:44,583 --> 00:21:46,708
They teach you all this
self-improvement stuff.
426
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:49,458
Oh. The Woodchippers, huh?
427
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:53,375
You were a Woodchipper when you were
Greg's age, weren't you, Frank?
428
00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:56,000
Really? Dad, I didn't know that.
429
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,708
Yeah, I... [stutters]
...for a little while.
430
00:21:58,792 --> 00:22:00,333
Well, this is perfect.
431
00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:04,917
What if I could become Woodchipper Elite?
Then would I have to go to Spag Union?
432
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,708
A... A Woodchipper Elite?
Wow, Greg, you know that's no joke.
433
00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:11,958
Nobody in my grade ever earned that rank.
434
00:22:12,042 --> 00:22:14,833
But what if Greg could become
a Woodchipper Elite?
435
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,875
Would that change your mind
about sendin' him to Spag Union?
436
00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:20,958
Yeah, I don't think
he can pull this off on his own.
437
00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:24,625
Especially not before
the Spag Union registration deadline.
438
00:22:24,708 --> 00:22:26,500
Well, why would he have to do it
on his own
439
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,458
when his father will be right there
with him...
440
00:22:28,542 --> 00:22:30,417
[echoing] ...every step of the way.
441
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:33,917
[in normal voice] You got this, Dad.
Go get 'em, Greg.
442
00:22:36,417 --> 00:22:39,167
So, uh... when do we get started?
443
00:22:40,250 --> 00:22:41,458
[groans]
444
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:46,083
[♪ trumpet blasts]
445
00:22:46,667 --> 00:22:49,250
[indistinct chatter]
446
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,458
All right, not bad. Uh...
447
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,375
You know what, Weston? That, uh...
448
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:57,000
That fox is lookin' more like a dog.
[chuckles softly]
449
00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:59,542
- You can fix it real quick. Come on.
- I'm trying, Dad.
450
00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:02,917
Hey, Fregley,
what you got goin' over here?
451
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,375
[growls]
452
00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:08,542
- Huh? Okay. That is a little terrifying.
- [chuckles softly]
453
00:23:08,625 --> 00:23:11,500
Ouch! I got a splinter!
454
00:23:11,583 --> 00:23:15,333
I told you that would happen. This is why
you should be using soap instead of wood.
455
00:23:16,542 --> 00:23:19,083
Look, it's a sheep! [mimicking bleats]
456
00:23:19,167 --> 00:23:21,500
All right, I found some extra supplies
in the back.
457
00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,625
- Let's get started.
- Eh. I'm good with soap.
458
00:23:23,708 --> 00:23:26,125
- [sighs wearily]
- I don't know if you heard,
459
00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:28,875
whittling requires wood, young man.
460
00:23:28,958 --> 00:23:31,708
Well, yeah. That's what I'm tryin'
to tell him, Troopmaster Barrett.
461
00:23:31,792 --> 00:23:36,167
I seem to recall a certain young
woodchipper who also liked to cut corners.
462
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:41,000
Didn't you turn in a store-bought wood
carvin' to try to earn your badge, Frank?
463
00:23:41,083 --> 00:23:44,542
Yeah, well, I... I couldn't get the hang
of the whole whittling thing.
464
00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:48,000
One sec. Troopmaster Barrett was
in charge when you were a Woodchipper?
465
00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:51,958
Yeah. And he was just as strict
about badge requirements back then.
466
00:23:52,042 --> 00:23:55,833
No one said the Path
to Woodchipper Elite was easy.
467
00:23:55,917 --> 00:23:58,375
The real work comes here.
468
00:24:00,083 --> 00:24:05,333
Orienteering, knot tying, rock climbing,
home repair, ventriloquism.
469
00:24:05,417 --> 00:24:06,958
[gasps, laughs mischievously]
470
00:24:07,042 --> 00:24:08,917
[Master Barrett] And
the Path to Woodchipper Elite
471
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,083
isn't complete until you've earned
the most difficult badge of them all!
472
00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:16,458
Wilderness Survival.
473
00:24:16,542 --> 00:24:20,083
Which can only be earned
at the Icy Pines Campout.
474
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:23,333
Frank, you're in charge of signing off
on Greg's badge requirements.
475
00:24:23,417 --> 00:24:25,125
- Think you can handle that?
- [sighs wearily]
476
00:24:25,208 --> 00:24:28,125
Yes, sir, Troopmaster Barrett, sir.
[yelps]
477
00:24:28,208 --> 00:24:32,833
{\an8}All right. Better get crackin'. You've got
a lotta catchin' up to do, you two.
478
00:24:35,417 --> 00:24:38,375
Do you wanna be
my special wilderness buddy?
479
00:24:38,458 --> 00:24:39,792
[laughs mischievously]
480
00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:46,042
[people grunting]
481
00:24:47,042 --> 00:24:48,542
[grunting]
482
00:24:50,708 --> 00:24:51,708
Huh?
483
00:24:52,667 --> 00:24:53,667
Okay,
484
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:57,000
I think we've covered the requirements
for the Physical Fitness badge.
485
00:24:57,083 --> 00:24:59,917
No, we haven't scratched the surface
on the requirements, Greg.
486
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,625
The manual says you have
to be able to do a hundred push-ups
487
00:25:02,708 --> 00:25:06,042
and run a mile in under six minutes.
And that's just for starters.
488
00:25:06,125 --> 00:25:08,000
Yeah, but can't you just say
489
00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:10,667
I did all that stuff
so we can move on to something else?
490
00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,875
You have a responsibility
to complete them, Greg.
491
00:25:12,958 --> 00:25:15,167
Plus, I promised Troopmaster Barrett that
492
00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:17,792
I wouldn't sign off until
they've actually been done.
493
00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:18,917
Uh...
494
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,250
Now come on, hop on that fitness ball
and let's get sweatin'.
495
00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:26,250
[rhythmic grunting]
496
00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,750
Yo, Heffley! Heads up!
497
00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:30,292
[yelps, groans softly]
498
00:25:30,375 --> 00:25:32,583
Ooh. Sorry. I thought you could handle it.
499
00:25:32,667 --> 00:25:34,375
Give me a little warning next time.
500
00:25:34,458 --> 00:25:36,500
Uh... What's with the bouncy balls?
501
00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:39,958
They're called stability balls,
and they're used to build up your balance
502
00:25:40,042 --> 00:25:41,042
and core strength.
503
00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,417
All right, no need to get defensive.
504
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:46,750
You guys do you. Me and Weston
are gonna go hit the treadmill.
505
00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:49,583
My boy's gotta build up
his endurance for winter soccer.
506
00:25:49,667 --> 00:25:51,708
We could always use a backup goalie, Greg.
507
00:25:51,792 --> 00:25:56,000
- Uh... Yeah, I'm good.
- All right, good talk.
508
00:25:56,083 --> 00:26:00,292
Hmm. Winter soccer, huh?
What do you think, Greg?
509
00:26:00,375 --> 00:26:03,667
Being a part of a team sport is one
of the Physical Fitness requirements.
510
00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:07,292
Yeah, I'm kinda focused
on building muscle right now.
511
00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:11,292
So, I'm gonna go hit the weights,
pump a little iron.
512
00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:15,333
Great idea. I'm gonna hit the head
and then I'll come spot you.
513
00:26:15,417 --> 00:26:21,917
Okay, party people. I wanna see you sweat.
Let's pick it up. You got this.
514
00:26:22,542 --> 00:26:25,208
[man grunting] I'm not sweaty,
I'm sparkling.
515
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:28,167
{\an8}[woman] You know how ridiculous
we all look?
516
00:26:31,458 --> 00:26:33,125
[grunting]
517
00:26:33,208 --> 00:26:36,042
- [yelps, gags]
- Whoa!
518
00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:38,125
- Let me help you with that, sir.
- [straining] Help.
519
00:26:38,208 --> 00:26:41,458
Ah-ha! It looks like you might've put
too much weight on this.
520
00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:42,875
[yelping] Whoa!
521
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:48,083
Beautiful. Don't give up.
522
00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:49,583
Whoa!
523
00:26:49,667 --> 00:26:50,875
[all yelping]
524
00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:52,625
[yelping]
525
00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:54,542
[water flushes]
526
00:26:54,625 --> 00:26:57,417
- Huh? Greg?
- [chuckles sheepishly]
527
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,583
I don't see you sweating!
528
00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:01,667
[school bell ringing]
529
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:03,167
[Greg] Last night was a disaster.
530
00:27:03,250 --> 00:27:06,542
Did I tell you they permanently banned me
and my dad from the gym?
531
00:27:07,333 --> 00:27:10,375
Hey, Greg. That was wild
at the gym last night.
532
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,708
Yeah, uh, sorry about that.
533
00:27:12,792 --> 00:27:15,792
Then how are you gonna earn
your Physical Fitness badge?
534
00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:17,958
I just need to change my strategy.
535
00:27:18,042 --> 00:27:20,833
Get a few easy wins,
and then tackle the hard stuff later.
536
00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:23,208
But if I don't start
knocking down these badges,
537
00:27:23,292 --> 00:27:26,542
I'm gonna spend the next four years
at a military academy.
538
00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:29,333
But you can't leave me behind
with these people!
539
00:27:29,417 --> 00:27:32,000
Then help me figure out
how I can earn these badges.
540
00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:36,417
Patty for Treasurer. Can I count
on your vote, Greg Heffley?
541
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,750
[Greg] Ugh! Patty Farrell.
She and I go way back.
542
00:27:40,333 --> 00:27:42,708
In the sixth grade,
Patty was the class monitor,
543
00:27:42,792 --> 00:27:45,292
so she was in charge
when the teacher left the room.
544
00:27:45,375 --> 00:27:47,542
And she'd never let
anyone use the restroom.
545
00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:50,042
May I please be excused?
546
00:27:50,125 --> 00:27:52,917
- Hmm. I don't think so.
- [groans]
547
00:27:53,458 --> 00:27:54,875
So I decided to pay her back
548
00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:58,250
in what people are still calling
The Wizard of Oz incident.
549
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,792
And even though I was
just tryin' to have a little fun,
550
00:28:02,417 --> 00:28:04,250
the principal banned school plays
for the year.
551
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:05,333
[growling, snarling]
552
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,458
[Greg] And I don't think
Patty's gotten over it yet.
553
00:28:07,542 --> 00:28:09,667
Scrumptious! [chuckles]
554
00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,417
So, are you voting for me or not?
555
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,375
Whoa, easy with the lollipops, Patty.
556
00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:16,792
- Here you go, Rowley.
- Thanks, Patty.
557
00:28:17,667 --> 00:28:20,958
- So, when are these elections?
- Uh, tomorrow.
558
00:28:21,042 --> 00:28:23,667
Did you not notice all my posters?
559
00:28:24,167 --> 00:28:27,833
Oh. Sorry. I guess I'm just
not that interested in politics.
560
00:28:27,917 --> 00:28:31,542
If you can't bother to fulfill your
basic duties as a good citizen,
561
00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:33,125
you don't deserve this.
562
00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:35,500
Patty for Treasurer!
563
00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:38,042
- All right! Passionfruit!
- Mmm.
564
00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:41,500
Hmm.
565
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,042
Hey! I found another gym
twenty minutes from here.
566
00:28:48,125 --> 00:28:50,875
I'm pretty sure they haven't heard
about what happened last night.
567
00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:53,792
Here you go, sweetie.
Hopefully some of these still work.
568
00:28:53,875 --> 00:28:55,292
- Thanks, Mom.
- What is this,
569
00:28:55,375 --> 00:28:57,333
some sort of arts and crafts project?
570
00:28:57,417 --> 00:29:00,208
I thought I'd circle back to the
physical fitness stuff later on.
571
00:29:00,292 --> 00:29:02,333
I'm gonna earn my leadership badge,
572
00:29:02,417 --> 00:29:05,083
and that starts by getting elected
to Student Council.
573
00:29:05,167 --> 00:29:07,083
Weren't you on Student Council?
574
00:29:07,167 --> 00:29:10,083
Well, yeah. I was Class Treasurer.
Wait till you see my poster.
575
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:12,500
[objects clattering]
576
00:29:12,583 --> 00:29:14,000
Ah-ha! Found it!
577
00:29:14,083 --> 00:29:18,167
Okay, well, you two
fellow treasurers have fun.
578
00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:20,917
Ah! This one got me elected
in seventh grade.
579
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,792
Look at that handsome guy.
580
00:29:22,875 --> 00:29:24,875
{\an8}[Greg] "Bank on Frank?"
581
00:29:25,083 --> 00:29:27,625
Pretty cool, right? Huh?
Because it rhymes. [laughs exultantly]
582
00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:29,625
People eat that stuff up.
583
00:29:29,708 --> 00:29:34,292
Right. Sorry, I just don't think that
would work on kids these days.
584
00:29:34,375 --> 00:29:37,667
Well, suit yourself,
just don't go negative.
585
00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:39,750
What do you mean, "go negative?"
586
00:29:39,833 --> 00:29:42,333
Politics has gotten way too nasty, Greg.
587
00:29:42,417 --> 00:29:44,958
Nowadays it's all just
a race to the bottom.
588
00:29:45,042 --> 00:29:47,583
That's it! I think I know how I can win.
589
00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:50,125
Well, great! How about
I help with your posters?
590
00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:53,167
You know what? You deserve
a little time to yourself.
591
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:55,625
- I'm all set with this.
- All right.
592
00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:59,625
Well, I'll be working on my Revolutionary
War diorama downstairs if anyone needs me.
593
00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:01,042
Thanks again.
594
00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:05,125
Susan, I think I actually might be
starting to reach him.
595
00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:08,375
- Good job, honey.
- [sighs in relief]
596
00:30:09,042 --> 00:30:11,625
[Greg] "Don't get
the Patty Farrell Touch?"
597
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:15,167
You know, like the Cheese Touch.
Remember the Cheese?
598
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:16,333
[child] The Cheese Touch!
599
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:19,417
Yeah, I remember.
600
00:30:20,125 --> 00:30:23,875
No one will wanna vote for her
if she has the Patty Farrell touch!
601
00:30:23,958 --> 00:30:25,375
But this is so mean.
602
00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:27,667
Look, Rowley, if you wanna actually win,
603
00:30:27,750 --> 00:30:29,708
you gotta be willing
to get down in the mud.
604
00:30:29,792 --> 00:30:32,542
But a Woodchipper
is supposed to be morally clean.
605
00:30:32,625 --> 00:30:34,583
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
606
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:37,250
Look, you don't want me
to go to Spag Union, do ya?
607
00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:38,833
You can get in trouble for these.
608
00:30:38,917 --> 00:30:40,958
That's what's so genius about my campaign.
609
00:30:41,042 --> 00:30:43,125
My name's not on any of these posters.
610
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:46,917
The only way they'd find out is if
they literally caught me putting one up.
611
00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:48,833
Now, hand me some tape.
612
00:30:48,917 --> 00:30:50,917
- [growling]
- [gasps]
613
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,750
- [chuckles nervously]
- Busted!
614
00:30:53,417 --> 00:30:55,125
You got this, Greg!
615
00:30:57,542 --> 00:31:00,125
[grunting]
616
00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:02,792
[grunts]
617
00:31:06,542 --> 00:31:09,375
{\an8}- [grunts]
- [all laughing]
618
00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:19,625
First time in detention?
I haven't seen you around here before.
619
00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:21,792
Yeah. But I don't belong here.
620
00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:25,083
Welcome to the club.
Every single person in here is innocent.
621
00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:28,875
Innocent? Leon Rickett threw a dictionary
through a window in homeroom.
622
00:31:29,875 --> 00:31:33,125
[rhythmic grunting, grunts]
623
00:31:34,458 --> 00:31:37,083
I don't deserve to be in here
with these future criminals!
624
00:31:37,167 --> 00:31:38,750
- [grunts]
- Uh...
625
00:31:38,833 --> 00:31:40,958
- No offense, Leon.
- [grunts]
626
00:31:41,042 --> 00:31:45,792
So, what'd they nail you for? Vandalism?
Arson? Fighting on school property?
627
00:31:45,875 --> 00:31:49,458
Nothing like that. I just made some
Student Council posters they didn't like.
628
00:31:49,542 --> 00:31:52,333
Huh. Politics. It's a dirty business.
629
00:31:52,417 --> 00:31:55,583
[sighs] It's just that my dad
already thinks I'm a screw-up.
630
00:31:55,667 --> 00:31:59,792
And if he finds out about this, then he's
gonna send me to Spag Union for sure.
631
00:31:59,875 --> 00:32:02,333
- Spag Union?
- [shushes, stutters] Who said that?
632
00:32:04,375 --> 00:32:05,667
[grunts]
633
00:32:05,750 --> 00:32:09,958
- That place will eat you alive.
- Yeah, no kidding.
634
00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:12,250
Well, what if I had something
635
00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:15,375
that could turn things around
between you and your pops?
636
00:32:15,458 --> 00:32:17,667
- What do you mean?
- Let's just say
637
00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:22,833
I've got access to some materials
I've collected in my five years here.
638
00:32:22,917 --> 00:32:25,042
You've been in middle school
for five years?
639
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:26,542
Hey, practice makes perfect.
640
00:32:27,417 --> 00:32:30,417
{\an8}"Student of the Week?"
Where'd you even get this?
641
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:33,083
That's not important. What's important
642
00:32:33,167 --> 00:32:36,500
is that you make things
right with you and your dad.
643
00:32:38,167 --> 00:32:41,583
Wait, what would something like that cost?
644
00:32:41,667 --> 00:32:45,333
One bumper sticker for one lunch snack.
I've got a real sweet tooth.
645
00:32:45,417 --> 00:32:47,875
I don't know. That's pretty steep.
646
00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:49,375
Oh, that's all right.
647
00:32:49,458 --> 00:32:53,792
I've got plenty of other customers who
need to score points on the home front.
648
00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:59,250
Okay, done!
I'll give you my snack tomorrow.
649
00:32:59,333 --> 00:33:03,958
Oh, yeah, I should've mentioned.
There's just one catch.
650
00:33:04,667 --> 00:33:07,333
To do the deal, you gotta
buy the whole pack of fifty.
651
00:33:07,417 --> 00:33:10,083
- One snack per sticker.
- Fifty?
652
00:33:10,167 --> 00:33:11,542
{\an8}Hey! Who said that!
653
00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:13,958
{\an8}[grunts] Slackers!
654
00:33:14,042 --> 00:33:17,375
But that would be all my snacks
for the rest of the school year.
655
00:33:17,458 --> 00:33:20,833
Hey, nobody said impressing your old man
was gonna be cheap.
656
00:33:20,917 --> 00:33:23,875
- So, what's it gonna be?
- Uh, um...
657
00:33:25,708 --> 00:33:28,750
[Frank] "Student of the Week?" [gasps]
658
00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:33,042
This is unbelievable.
What did you do to earn this, Greg?
659
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,833
Well, I've been trying to step up
my game at school.
660
00:33:35,917 --> 00:33:37,583
I guess somebody finally noticed.
661
00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,000
- I'd say!
- [Manny exclaiming excitedly]
662
00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:42,333
Just don't put it on a notebook,
this thing's a bully magnet.
663
00:33:42,417 --> 00:33:44,000
- Mine.
- We could put it on the van.
664
00:33:44,083 --> 00:33:46,542
The van? But that's already
covered in bumper stickers.
665
00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:48,708
No, this deserves a place of honor.
666
00:33:48,792 --> 00:33:51,750
Ooh! Stickers! [chuckles]
667
00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,875
- [gasps]
- Aw!
668
00:33:53,958 --> 00:33:57,958
Actually, I really don't wanna show off.
I'd like to stay humble.
669
00:33:58,042 --> 00:34:01,208
{\an8}An accomplishment like this
is worth bragging about, Greg.
670
00:34:01,292 --> 00:34:05,708
{\an8}And hey, it looks like this earns you
your Scholarship merit badge.
671
00:34:05,792 --> 00:34:08,625
{\an8}And that gets you a signature.
672
00:34:08,708 --> 00:34:14,125
And if you're elected Class Treasurer,
you've got Leadership in the bag.
673
00:34:14,208 --> 00:34:16,792
[chuckles nervously]
Fingers crossed on that one.
674
00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:20,833
Maybe your accomplishments
will inspire other people in the family
675
00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:22,333
to step up their game.
676
00:34:22,417 --> 00:34:23,792
- [both] Hmm.
- [chuckles]
677
00:34:27,958 --> 00:34:29,292
What are y'all lookin' at?
678
00:34:29,917 --> 00:34:31,667
You've got the ball rollin' now, Greg.
679
00:34:31,750 --> 00:34:34,458
What do you say we knock through
the rest of the badges together?
680
00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:37,667
Together? Um, uh... That's okay.
681
00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:40,667
I perform better when I'm flying solo.
682
00:34:40,750 --> 00:34:43,208
Are you kidding?
We're partners in this, son.
683
00:34:43,292 --> 00:34:46,833
From now on,
we're gonna be attached at the hip.
684
00:34:46,917 --> 00:34:47,958
Great.
685
00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:53,875
Trust me at first, I wasn't crazy
about spending so much time with my dad.
686
00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:56,333
- [both grunting]
- [groans]
687
00:34:56,417 --> 00:34:58,708
Because I'm the kinda person
who needs his space.
688
00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:01,208
No, Greg. Okay. Your pulling it.
689
00:35:01,292 --> 00:35:05,208
[Greg] But once my dad gets excited about
something, he's like a dog with a bone.
690
00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:08,833
- Whoa! No, no, no!
- Whoa!
691
00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:10,792
[laughs]
692
00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:15,292
[Greg] So, I could tell I needed
to do things his way and push through it.
693
00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,542
Even though things can get a little
uncomfortable from time to time...
694
00:35:19,625 --> 00:35:20,625
- Yes!
- [groans softly]
695
00:35:20,708 --> 00:35:22,583
{\an8}[Greg] ...at least we're having
some fun trying.
696
00:35:23,708 --> 00:35:26,167
I've gotta admit, it doesn't been all bad.
697
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,500
I don't wanna get too corny or anything...
698
00:35:29,583 --> 00:35:31,708
- [groans softly]
- ...but maybe we're actually starting
699
00:35:31,792 --> 00:35:33,958
- to get the hang of this father-son thing.
- [both laugh]
700
00:35:40,708 --> 00:35:45,208
Easy. They have a tight grip,
so you just gotta angle it in there.
701
00:35:45,292 --> 00:35:46,292
[Greg] Oh, shoot!
702
00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:49,083
- Sorry.
- Ah. Don't worry about it.
703
00:35:49,167 --> 00:35:51,583
He can be the scout on the lookout
for the rebel army.
704
00:35:51,667 --> 00:35:54,792
I think you should put these cannons up
on this hill with these guys.
705
00:35:54,875 --> 00:35:57,250
They'd have a better chance
against these other guys.
706
00:35:57,333 --> 00:35:59,458
Well, the Seventh Regiment
didn't have cannons.
707
00:35:59,542 --> 00:36:01,250
That's what made the Continental Army's
708
00:36:01,333 --> 00:36:04,083
victory against the British
so much more significant.
709
00:36:04,167 --> 00:36:07,000
They never gave up
in the face of a challenge.
710
00:36:07,917 --> 00:36:10,042
So, why do you like doing this so much?
711
00:36:10,125 --> 00:36:14,417
Well, when I'm working on my diorama,
I feel like I'm in control,
712
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:17,292
and I don't always
feel that way in real life.
713
00:36:17,917 --> 00:36:20,583
I guess it's my way
of making sense of things.
714
00:36:20,667 --> 00:36:23,167
Huh. Yeah, I get that.
715
00:36:24,042 --> 00:36:26,708
So, what did you come
down here for anyway?
716
00:36:26,792 --> 00:36:30,417
- Are you working on your Hobbying badge?
- Nah. I just wanted to hang out.
717
00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:34,708
Oh, yeah, I did wanna show you something.
718
00:36:35,208 --> 00:36:38,292
Safety Patrol? Is this
for your Citizenship badge?
719
00:36:38,375 --> 00:36:41,875
Yep, it's one of the last big ones I've
gotta earn to get to Woodchipper Elite.
720
00:36:41,958 --> 00:36:44,083
{\an8}Yeah, you're gettin' pretty close by now.
721
00:36:44,167 --> 00:36:46,375
By the time the Icy Pines Campout
rolls around,
722
00:36:46,458 --> 00:36:49,542
I'll bet the only badge you'll have left
is Wilderness Survival.
723
00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:52,167
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one.
724
00:36:52,250 --> 00:36:56,208
After everything you've accomplished son,
that one will be a piece of cake.
725
00:36:57,042 --> 00:36:59,750
Huh? Looks like they gave you
a hand-me-down vest.
726
00:36:59,833 --> 00:37:02,000
Yeah. Rowley got a used one, too.
727
00:37:02,083 --> 00:37:04,750
That's what you get for joining
in the middle of the year, I guess.
728
00:37:04,833 --> 00:37:07,167
So what intersection
did they put you two in charge of?
729
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:12,292
Actually, Mrs. Winsky put us in charge of
walking the kindergarteners to school.
730
00:37:12,375 --> 00:37:14,167
So, diaper duty, basically.
731
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,625
Hey, that's a lotta responsibility.
732
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:19,083
Mrs. Winsky must see
somethin' special in you.
733
00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:24,458
Now, just promise me you boys
will keep those kids outta harm's way.
734
00:37:24,542 --> 00:37:25,625
[Greg] Yes, sir!
735
00:37:25,708 --> 00:37:28,250
At ease, soldier. And dismissed.
736
00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,000
[both laugh]
737
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:31,625
Later, Dad.
738
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,542
Huh. That was nice.
739
00:37:35,167 --> 00:37:36,250
No!
740
00:37:37,750 --> 00:37:39,333
Come on!
741
00:37:39,417 --> 00:37:41,125
[alarm buzzing]
742
00:37:42,125 --> 00:37:43,250
[yawning]
743
00:37:45,583 --> 00:37:47,167
Go get 'em, son.
744
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:48,875
You got it, Dad.
745
00:37:48,958 --> 00:37:50,167
I'm all over it.
746
00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:52,500
[groaning]
747
00:37:52,583 --> 00:37:54,917
[indistinct chatter, singing]
748
00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,917
Petey, one hand on the rope, please.
749
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,708
Let's keep it to the sidewalk.
750
00:38:01,792 --> 00:38:05,042
I think we should ask Mrs. Winsky
for a new assignment.
751
00:38:05,125 --> 00:38:07,625
We shouldn't be in charge
of all these kids.
752
00:38:07,708 --> 00:38:09,417
I just need to do this for a few days
753
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,667
so I can fulfill
my Public Safety requirements,
754
00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:12,917
then we can quit.
755
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,583
My dad's been signing off on this stuff
left and right.
756
00:38:15,667 --> 00:38:17,917
Did your dad ever find out
you got detention?
757
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,167
No, and he can't find out!
758
00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:22,875
Right now, I'm a lock
for getting out of Spag Union,
759
00:38:22,958 --> 00:38:25,583
- and I can't do anything to mess that up.
- [grunting]
760
00:38:25,667 --> 00:38:28,875
Greg? I think Mikey might need
to go to the bathroom.
761
00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:31,542
Mikey, we talked about this.
762
00:38:31,625 --> 00:38:34,542
You're supposed to save
your juice box for snack time.
763
00:38:34,625 --> 00:38:36,583
Look, Rowley, you're gonna
have to turn around
764
00:38:36,667 --> 00:38:38,792
and take Mikey home
so he can use the potty.
765
00:38:38,875 --> 00:38:41,417
But then I'd be late for school.
Why can't you do it?
766
00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:43,417
I already got detention once this quarter.
767
00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:46,208
And if you get it a second time,
the school calls your home.
768
00:38:46,292 --> 00:38:48,583
- [all groaning]
- Greg!
769
00:38:48,667 --> 00:38:52,125
Seriously, guys? We can't
take our eyes off you for one second?
770
00:38:52,208 --> 00:38:53,875
[children laughing]
771
00:38:53,958 --> 00:38:55,250
[Greg] This is disgusting.
772
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:56,667
There are worms in this slop.
773
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,417
[children gasping] Worm!
774
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,250
No! Don't run away!
775
00:39:01,333 --> 00:39:03,458
- [groans softly]
- [children screaming]
776
00:39:04,417 --> 00:39:06,042
- [both] No!
- [car honking]
777
00:39:06,875 --> 00:39:10,042
Is that my dad?
778
00:39:10,125 --> 00:39:11,708
♪ U can't touch this ♪
779
00:39:11,792 --> 00:39:15,292
- Rowley, go get those kids out of there.
- [yelps]
780
00:39:17,750 --> 00:39:19,500
{\an8}[Frank] Hey, son.
781
00:39:19,583 --> 00:39:21,292
{\an8}- [children screaming]
- Got your hot chocolate,
782
00:39:21,375 --> 00:39:23,167
{\an8}whipped cream and everything.
783
00:39:23,250 --> 00:39:25,333
{\an8}Is this a new car?
784
00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:27,583
{\an8}Well, leased. I'm paying month to month.
785
00:39:27,667 --> 00:39:30,667
{\an8}I needed a nice way
to display your bumper sticker.
786
00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:33,042
Wow. Looks great.
787
00:39:34,208 --> 00:39:39,042
Wait, aren't you guys supposed to be
walking the kindergartners to school?
788
00:39:39,125 --> 00:39:41,000
Uh, yeah. I went ahead of Rowley
789
00:39:41,083 --> 00:39:43,000
to make sure the route was safe
for the kids.
790
00:39:43,083 --> 00:39:44,917
- [screams]
- Well, just make sure you keep those kids
791
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,417
clear of that construction site.
792
00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,292
Oh, yeah, I was planning on taping it off.
793
00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:51,125
- Initiative, I like it.
- [yelps]
794
00:39:51,208 --> 00:39:53,083
I'll see ya back at home base
after school.
795
00:39:53,167 --> 00:39:55,958
Then we can start on your
Genealogy badge requirements.
796
00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,958
Looking forward to it. [chuckles]
797
00:39:58,042 --> 00:39:59,875
- Please leave.
- [car engine starts]
798
00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:04,958
- Whew! That was close.
- [children laughing]
799
00:40:05,042 --> 00:40:06,542
Do you think we got all of them?
800
00:40:06,625 --> 00:40:07,833
I think so.
801
00:40:07,917 --> 00:40:09,875
[vocalizing] Prink!
802
00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:13,500
[giggling] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
803
00:40:14,625 --> 00:40:16,708
Whoa! Ooh!
804
00:40:16,792 --> 00:40:18,500
- Let's get these kids to school.
- [kids chuckling]
805
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,917
[crackling, gurgling]
806
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,458
[Rowley] Uh, Greg?
807
00:40:22,917 --> 00:40:24,375
Oh, no.
808
00:40:24,458 --> 00:40:26,583
[children laughing]
809
00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:30,583
Zooee mama!
810
00:40:30,667 --> 00:40:33,750
- [Mrs. Winsky] Ugh! Really?
- [indistinct grumbling over phone]
811
00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:36,917
[Mrs. Winsky] Yes, I understand
concrete is expensive these days.
812
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,125
I'm dealing with the perpetrator now.
813
00:40:40,167 --> 00:40:43,500
Do you know what the most important tenet
of the Safety Patrol is?
814
00:40:43,583 --> 00:40:45,333
Uh, bravery? No, no, wait!
815
00:40:45,417 --> 00:40:46,917
- Cheerfulness?
- Safety!
816
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,625
And today, you and your partner
abandoned that principle.
817
00:40:49,708 --> 00:40:52,958
I know, but I promise
we won't let it happen again.
818
00:40:53,042 --> 00:40:57,000
A neighbor reported watching
a Safety Patrol matching your description
819
00:40:57,083 --> 00:41:00,750
terrorizing kindergartners
with a live worm.
820
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:04,333
- But, Mrs. Winsky, I was only trying to--
- Your menacing behavior
821
00:41:04,417 --> 00:41:08,375
towards those children resulted in damage
to a homeowner's driveway.
822
00:41:08,458 --> 00:41:10,792
I'm afraid you're gonna have to surrender
your vest and badge.
823
00:41:11,542 --> 00:41:13,333
I understand, Mrs. Winsky.
824
00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:17,917
Furthermore, I'll be calling your parents
to let them know about your suspension.
825
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,167
- [huffs]
- But, Mrs. Winsky, you don't understand.
826
00:41:21,250 --> 00:41:23,083
If my dad finds out about this, he'll--
827
00:41:23,167 --> 00:41:25,458
That's enough. You're excused.
828
00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:27,750
"Duffley."
829
00:41:28,583 --> 00:41:29,583
Duffley?
830
00:41:29,667 --> 00:41:31,167
Now get back to class, Craig.
831
00:41:32,292 --> 00:41:34,583
Uh... Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Winsky.
832
00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:37,000
I guarantee you,
I'll learn from this experience.
833
00:41:37,083 --> 00:41:38,958
Or my name's not Craig Duffley.
834
00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:40,583
Which it is.
835
00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:43,250
Oh, kids.
836
00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:45,167
I don't like them.
837
00:41:45,667 --> 00:41:48,667
[♪ lively music playing,
"U Can't Touch This" by M.C. Hammer]
838
00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:54,917
What's up, neighbor?
839
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,583
Whoa! Sweet ride, Heffley.
840
00:41:57,667 --> 00:41:59,292
You win the lottery or something?
841
00:41:59,375 --> 00:42:02,958
Well, let's just say I decided
it was time to treat myself.
842
00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:04,833
[Mr. Warren] "Student of the Week?"
843
00:42:04,917 --> 00:42:07,625
Hold up.
Which one of your boys scored that?
844
00:42:07,708 --> 00:42:10,250
Greg. He's been on a roll lately.
845
00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:14,250
Did you know he's just a few badges shy
of earning Woodchipper Elite.
846
00:42:14,958 --> 00:42:18,292
So how's Weston doing on his path
to Woodchipper Elite?
847
00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:20,750
Well, my boy's been
little busy with sports.
848
00:42:20,833 --> 00:42:24,458
Did you know Weston just got
named pre-season all-star?
849
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,792
That's not even a thing, Dad.
850
00:42:26,875 --> 00:42:28,125
But it should be.
851
00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:30,958
So, how's your boy doing
with that Physical Fitness badge?
852
00:42:31,042 --> 00:42:33,625
Still doin' that bouncy ball stuff?
[chuckles softly]
853
00:42:33,708 --> 00:42:35,875
He's been a little busy
with Safety Patrols.
854
00:42:35,958 --> 00:42:38,167
I think he's got a shot
at being named captain.
855
00:42:38,792 --> 00:42:41,333
Well, speak of the devil.
856
00:42:41,833 --> 00:42:44,333
Hey, Greg, where's
your Safety Patrol gear?
857
00:42:44,417 --> 00:42:46,000
Mr. Warren wanted to check it out.
858
00:42:46,083 --> 00:42:48,375
I must have left it in my locker.
859
00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:50,792
Wait, did you guys hear
about those Safety Patrols,
860
00:42:50,875 --> 00:42:54,250
who chased those kindergartners through
that freshly poured driveway this morning?
861
00:42:54,333 --> 00:42:57,500
Ooh! I heard they caused a ton of damage.
862
00:42:57,583 --> 00:43:00,917
Well, uh, you know, as much as I'd like
to hang with you fellas,
863
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,583
me and Weston gotta get over
to the sports complex.
864
00:43:03,667 --> 00:43:06,583
Hey, is there any room
on that team of yours for Greg?
865
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,000
- Dad!
- [Mr. Warren] That depends.
866
00:43:08,083 --> 00:43:10,083
Does Greg have any playing experience?
867
00:43:10,167 --> 00:43:12,000
Well, he was a midfielder back in, uh...
868
00:43:12,083 --> 00:43:13,917
When... when was that again, Greg?
869
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,125
- Preschool.
- Preschool!
870
00:43:16,208 --> 00:43:18,417
Oh? Well, that is an impressive résumé,
871
00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:21,750
but everyone on my team
has to earn their playing time.
872
00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,833
Even my boy.
873
00:43:22,917 --> 00:43:26,125
Greg can achieve anything he sets out to.
874
00:43:26,208 --> 00:43:29,667
You might be surprised
what he's capable of.
875
00:43:29,750 --> 00:43:31,833
All right, then get your boy
proper footwear
876
00:43:31,917 --> 00:43:33,375
and meet us down at the complex.
877
00:43:33,458 --> 00:43:36,292
- Hey, Greg, think fast.
- [yelps, groans]
878
00:43:36,375 --> 00:43:37,375
[grunts]
879
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,083
Don't worry, Greg.
I'll show you the ropes.
880
00:43:40,167 --> 00:43:41,667
I, uh, we'll catch you on the field.
881
00:43:42,958 --> 00:43:44,292
Can't wait.
882
00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:47,417
So my dad signed me up for the team,
883
00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:49,250
- and even though I tried my best...
- Whoa!
884
00:43:49,333 --> 00:43:52,375
...I guess I don't have
whatever genes make you good at sports.
885
00:43:52,917 --> 00:43:55,458
In fact, the more I practiced,
the worse I got.
886
00:43:55,542 --> 00:43:57,083
Put some heat on it, Greg.
887
00:43:57,917 --> 00:43:59,208
[yelling, groans]
888
00:44:00,542 --> 00:44:01,792
Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
889
00:44:02,625 --> 00:44:04,542
All right, team, get your butts over here.
890
00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:07,000
[Greg] And it turns out that
if you've got a sense of humor,
891
00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:09,583
- it'll earn you a spot on the bench.
- [grunting]
892
00:44:10,917 --> 00:44:14,292
[Greg] But I gotta admit,
being part of a team wasn't so bad.
893
00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:19,292
In fact, it kinda made me wonder what
I'd been missing out on all these years.
894
00:44:19,375 --> 00:44:21,875
And if it took getting through
the end of the season
895
00:44:21,958 --> 00:44:23,375
to get me out of Spag Union,
896
00:44:23,458 --> 00:44:25,083
I was willing to suffer through it.
897
00:44:25,792 --> 00:44:28,125
- [announcer] Goal!
- Goal!
898
00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:31,833
[video game chirping, beeping]
899
00:44:32,708 --> 00:44:34,250
[woman] Okay. Let's go, honey,
900
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:35,792
just watch your step.
901
00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:40,125
Oh, there you are.
I thought you went to the bathroom.
902
00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:42,500
Oh, yeah, I did.
But then I found a quarter on the ground.
903
00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:44,250
Well, you should've come straight back.
904
00:44:44,333 --> 00:44:46,375
And next time, bend your knees,
905
00:44:46,458 --> 00:44:47,917
- all right?
- All right, Dad.
906
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,750
Mr. Warren might've put you in the game.
907
00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:51,375
- [clacking]
- [video game beeping]
908
00:44:51,458 --> 00:44:54,667
{\an8}- [announcer] Goal!
- Goal!
909
00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:57,125
Actually, now that I've tried
a team sport,
910
00:44:57,208 --> 00:44:59,333
I'm all set
with my Physical Fitness badge.
911
00:44:59,417 --> 00:45:01,000
And I'm quitting.
912
00:45:01,083 --> 00:45:02,208
You can do this, Greg.
913
00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:03,958
No son of mine is a quitter.
914
00:45:04,042 --> 00:45:06,542
But Manny's on his third
or fourth preschool already.
915
00:45:06,625 --> 00:45:08,458
And Rodrick quits things all the time.
916
00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:09,958
Well, that ends today.
917
00:45:10,042 --> 00:45:12,458
You're so close to the finish line, Greg.
918
00:45:12,542 --> 00:45:15,833
Just see this one through,
and then we'll talk about Spag Union.
919
00:45:15,917 --> 00:45:18,708
Hey, do you want to jump in?
The game's two-player.
920
00:45:20,083 --> 00:45:21,458
I'll meet you out in the car.
921
00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:24,375
[sighing in despair]
922
00:45:26,500 --> 00:45:28,208
Yeah. You see Weston out there?
923
00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:30,500
- [woman] Oh, yeah.
- My God, I think he gets that speed
924
00:45:30,583 --> 00:45:32,125
from my side of the family.
925
00:45:32,208 --> 00:45:33,792
[woman] Yeah. Such a great game.
926
00:45:33,875 --> 00:45:35,750
- Hey, good talk.
- [woman] See you at the next one.
927
00:45:35,833 --> 00:45:38,042
- Hey, Walt.
- Hey, Frank.
928
00:45:38,125 --> 00:45:39,667
Good game.
929
00:45:39,750 --> 00:45:42,333
Oh, you guys really took it to those guys.
930
00:45:42,417 --> 00:45:45,083
Yeah. Weston made
some nice saves out there.
931
00:45:45,167 --> 00:45:49,167
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know,
I couldn't help notice, though,
932
00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:52,250
Greg, uh, didn't get much playing time.
933
00:45:53,125 --> 00:45:54,375
None, actually.
934
00:45:54,458 --> 00:45:56,625
Frank, I told you before,
935
00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:59,417
on my team, the players
have to earn their playin' time.
936
00:45:59,500 --> 00:46:02,292
You guys were up by five goals
most of the game.
937
00:46:02,375 --> 00:46:03,958
You couldn't give my boy a chance?
938
00:46:04,042 --> 00:46:05,750
Sorry, Frank.
939
00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:08,042
I don't wanna put your boy
in a position to fail.
940
00:46:08,125 --> 00:46:09,125
[engine starts]
941
00:46:11,250 --> 00:46:12,292
See you next week.
942
00:46:15,792 --> 00:46:16,833
[Greg] Hey, Dad!
943
00:46:16,917 --> 00:46:17,958
Got any quarters?
944
00:46:18,042 --> 00:46:20,042
- [electricity crackling]
- [♪ melancholy music playing]
945
00:46:24,042 --> 00:46:26,708
[sighs] Maybe Walt's right, Susan.
946
00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:29,375
Maybe I did set Greg up for failure.
947
00:46:29,458 --> 00:46:32,833
Our kids aren't gonna be successful
in everything they do, Frank.
948
00:46:32,917 --> 00:46:35,917
If they're not failing,
they're not growing. Boop.
949
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,250
I feel like I put him in
a no-win situation with this soccer thing.
950
00:46:39,333 --> 00:46:42,042
What's he gonna gain by sitting
on the bench the whole season?
951
00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:45,542
He'll see that his father will keep
showing up for him no matter what.
952
00:46:45,625 --> 00:46:47,333
That he's his biggest fan.
953
00:46:47,417 --> 00:46:49,917
And there is no better lesson than that.
954
00:46:57,417 --> 00:46:58,708
[whistle blowing]
955
00:46:58,792 --> 00:47:01,583
Last game of the season. How ya feelin'?
956
00:47:01,667 --> 00:47:04,458
I'm okay.
Sorry I haven't gotten to play yet.
957
00:47:04,542 --> 00:47:06,125
Aw. That's all right.
958
00:47:06,208 --> 00:47:07,833
I've had fun coming to your games.
959
00:47:07,917 --> 00:47:10,583
But if I don't get in the game,
I won't be able to finish
960
00:47:10,667 --> 00:47:12,792
my Physical Fitness badge requirements.
961
00:47:12,875 --> 00:47:16,667
Well, maybe I could overlook
a requirement, just this once.
962
00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:19,667
Well, this is your stop.
963
00:47:19,750 --> 00:47:21,958
If you need me,
I'll be up in the bleachers.
964
00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:26,875
Ricky.
965
00:47:26,958 --> 00:47:28,083
What are you doing here?
966
00:47:28,167 --> 00:47:30,708
Let's just say I'm a fan of the game.
967
00:47:30,792 --> 00:47:34,250
And I have an interest
in the outcome of this one in particular.
968
00:47:34,333 --> 00:47:35,667
What's that supposed to mean?
969
00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:39,250
I've got money on Blue.
So don't blow it, Heffley.
970
00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:42,042
Trust me,
there's no chance I'm getting in the game.
971
00:47:43,167 --> 00:47:44,417
Well, that's a pity.
972
00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:47,875
I was hoping to get some payback
for your little smear campaign.
973
00:47:48,625 --> 00:47:51,083
I went to detention for that. We're even.
974
00:47:51,167 --> 00:47:53,875
Do you know how hard it is
to get a seat in the cafeteria
975
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,542
when you've got the "Patty Farrell Touch?"
976
00:47:56,625 --> 00:47:58,250
- Ew!
- [whistle blowing]
977
00:48:01,458 --> 00:48:03,083
[grunts, exclaims]
978
00:48:03,167 --> 00:48:04,833
All right, captains. Bring it in.
979
00:48:04,917 --> 00:48:07,917
Lenwood Heath? You gotta be kidding me.
980
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,333
[crowd cheering]
981
00:48:09,417 --> 00:48:12,250
[Greg] Usually, I could care less
about what happens in a sports game.
982
00:48:12,333 --> 00:48:14,542
But I got swept up
in the excitement of this one.
983
00:48:15,458 --> 00:48:16,833
- Every time one team...
- Yes!
984
00:48:16,917 --> 00:48:19,583
[Greg] ...would take the lead,
the other team would take it back.
985
00:48:20,417 --> 00:48:23,250
As the game went on,
it got a lot more chippy on the field.
986
00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:24,375
Think fast.
987
00:48:24,458 --> 00:48:27,292
[Greg] And I thanked my lucky stars
I wasn't out there.
988
00:48:27,375 --> 00:48:29,667
But then, with the game tied
in the final seconds,
989
00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:31,167
- disaster.
- Whoa!
990
00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:33,917
- [groans]
- [blows whistle]
991
00:48:34,500 --> 00:48:35,875
Blue team, red card.
992
00:48:35,958 --> 00:48:38,875
Aah! Come on, ref.
That was a legal tackle.
993
00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:40,583
Red team, penalty kick.
994
00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:42,375
Blue, you're gonna need a new goalie.
995
00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:44,417
Where am I gonna find a new goalie?
996
00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:46,375
Put Greg in!
997
00:48:48,667 --> 00:48:51,458
[sighing in despair] Hefley, suit up.
998
00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:53,292
- Yes!
- What?
999
00:48:53,375 --> 00:48:56,542
- You got this, Greg!
- [indistinct chatter]
1000
00:48:57,792 --> 00:49:01,292
[♪ somber music playing,
"Funeral March" by Chopin]
1001
00:49:05,125 --> 00:49:07,208
I believe in you, Greg!
1002
00:49:12,375 --> 00:49:15,167
- [inhales, exhales]
- [woman] It's on you, man.
1003
00:49:15,250 --> 00:49:18,167
Ooh, Coach, can I take the penalty kick?
1004
00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:20,000
Farrell, you are in!
1005
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:21,208
Yeah.
1006
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:24,125
Now, wait for my whistle to kick the ball.
1007
00:49:24,208 --> 00:49:26,000
Goalie, are you ready?
1008
00:49:27,458 --> 00:49:30,625
- [blows whistle]
- [boy] Try not to hurt him, Patty!
1009
00:49:30,708 --> 00:49:34,375
I've been waiting for this day
a long time, Greg Heffley.
1010
00:49:40,417 --> 00:49:42,458
- [laughing maniacally]
- [♪ suspenseful music intensifies]
1011
00:49:43,083 --> 00:49:45,083
Would you please kick the ball already?
1012
00:49:45,167 --> 00:49:46,875
[Patty] Patty Farrell touch this!
1013
00:49:49,167 --> 00:49:51,000
- [crowd cheering]
- Yes!
1014
00:49:52,333 --> 00:49:53,750
- Huh?
- [whooshes]
1015
00:49:56,083 --> 00:49:58,208
[laughs exultantly] In your face, Patty!
1016
00:49:58,292 --> 00:50:00,750
[jeers] Yeah!
1017
00:50:01,542 --> 00:50:02,833
- [grunts]
- [crowd gasping]
1018
00:50:06,250 --> 00:50:07,875
- [whistle blows]
- [sighing in despair]
1019
00:50:07,958 --> 00:50:09,958
- Come on!
- [groans softly]
1020
00:50:10,042 --> 00:50:11,708
[laughs exultantly]
1021
00:50:11,792 --> 00:50:15,875
Whoo! In your face, Greg Heffley. Whoo!
1022
00:50:19,917 --> 00:50:21,250
I'm proud of you, Greg.
1023
00:50:22,750 --> 00:50:23,875
But I lost the game.
1024
00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:26,083
This isn't about winning or losing.
1025
00:50:26,167 --> 00:50:29,083
It's about putting yourself out there,
stepping into the arena.
1026
00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:33,833
Hey, what do you say we go home,
make some popcorn
1027
00:50:33,917 --> 00:50:36,792
and watch one of those
cheesy monster movies?
1028
00:50:37,542 --> 00:50:38,833
Well, that sounds like fun.
1029
00:50:40,375 --> 00:50:41,708
Tough loss, Heffleys.
1030
00:50:41,792 --> 00:50:45,708
Yeah, well, it's not always
about wins and losses.
1031
00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:48,750
Hey, have you given any thought to sending
Greg to Spag Union, Mr. Heffley?
1032
00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:50,625
They've got a competitive soccer team.
1033
00:50:50,708 --> 00:50:52,917
I'm not sure Greg needs
to go to Spag Union.
1034
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,750
He's already on a good path.
1035
00:50:55,833 --> 00:50:58,625
Well, registration's still open
if you change your mind.
1036
00:51:00,375 --> 00:51:03,000
- [yelps]
- Looks like your soccer career
1037
00:51:03,083 --> 00:51:06,167
went as well as your political career,
Greg Heffley.
1038
00:51:06,833 --> 00:51:08,542
Uh, good game, Patty.
1039
00:51:08,625 --> 00:51:11,000
At least you got to feel
what it's actually like
1040
00:51:11,083 --> 00:51:14,667
to lose this time
instead of being disqualified.
1041
00:51:14,750 --> 00:51:15,833
Disqualified?
1042
00:51:17,083 --> 00:51:19,083
You just cost me a pile of money, Heffley.
1043
00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:21,500
You better hope I don't see you
back in detention.
1044
00:51:21,583 --> 00:51:23,125
Detention?
1045
00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:25,708
Uh, maybe we should
talk about this in the car.
1046
00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:29,667
Hey, it's the bad boy!
1047
00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:31,458
He chased us with worms!
1048
00:51:31,542 --> 00:51:32,875
[children yelling] Yeah!
1049
00:51:32,958 --> 00:51:34,250
Worms?
1050
00:51:34,333 --> 00:51:36,458
Well, technically, it was just one worm.
1051
00:51:36,542 --> 00:51:38,583
What's going on, Greg?
1052
00:51:38,667 --> 00:51:40,792
- Mr. Duffley
- Mr. Duffley?
1053
00:51:40,875 --> 00:51:43,500
Uh... she must be talking
about someone else.
1054
00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:46,167
I need to speak to you
about your son's suspension.
1055
00:51:46,250 --> 00:51:47,708
Suspension?
1056
00:51:47,792 --> 00:51:49,583
Greg, what is she talking about?
1057
00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:52,625
There's all sorts of crazies
out here today, let's go, please.
1058
00:51:52,708 --> 00:51:55,583
There he is, ladies. Let's get him!
1059
00:51:56,375 --> 00:51:59,667
- [yelps]
- [indistinct shouting]
1060
00:52:00,958 --> 00:52:04,625
- [hatch door closes]
- Oh. Great kid you got there, Frank.
1061
00:52:04,708 --> 00:52:06,792
[woman] Who's running now,
you little twerp?
1062
00:52:11,625 --> 00:52:13,500
I can't believe you, Greg.
1063
00:52:13,583 --> 00:52:18,375
When you had me sign off on those badges,
you weren't just being dishonest,
1064
00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:20,333
you made a liar out of me!
1065
00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:22,708
I know, but I wasn't trying to.
1066
00:52:22,792 --> 00:52:26,625
Disqualified from Student Council.
Sent to detention.
1067
00:52:26,708 --> 00:52:29,708
Suspended from the Safety Patrol.
1068
00:52:29,792 --> 00:52:32,250
Anything else
you want to tell me about, Greg?
1069
00:52:32,333 --> 00:52:34,667
[sighs] I think that pretty much
covers it.
1070
00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:38,708
Oh, boy.
1071
00:52:39,917 --> 00:52:44,125
- Okay. Oh, dear.
- Stickers. [laughs]
1072
00:52:44,208 --> 00:52:46,333
Actually, I take that back.
1073
00:52:46,417 --> 00:52:47,583
[grunting] Okay!
1074
00:52:47,667 --> 00:52:49,500
Oh, that kid!
1075
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:52,375
[grunting]
1076
00:52:55,542 --> 00:52:57,792
- Dad, wait.
- [laughs]
1077
00:53:01,083 --> 00:53:02,708
Mom, please.
1078
00:53:02,792 --> 00:53:04,167
[sighing] Oh, Greg.
1079
00:53:04,750 --> 00:53:05,833
Yes, Frank.
1080
00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:11,833
[muffled] No!
1081
00:53:13,917 --> 00:53:15,500
{\an8}[announcer] Congratulations.
1082
00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:18,708
{\an8}You have successfully registered
to Spag Union.
1083
00:53:20,792 --> 00:53:24,042
Oh, man. Bubby toast.
1084
00:53:25,625 --> 00:53:27,833
[rain pattering, thunder rumbling]
1085
00:53:33,667 --> 00:53:34,667
{\an8}[footsteps approaching]
1086
00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:39,917
[sighing sadly]
1087
00:53:41,333 --> 00:53:42,375
[groans softly]
1088
00:53:43,417 --> 00:53:44,417
[sighing in exhaustion]
1089
00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:48,125
Whoa!
1090
00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:51,333
[grunts] Okay.
I found your old tent in the garage.
1091
00:53:51,417 --> 00:53:53,458
Your sleeping bags
and the rest of your stuff
1092
00:53:53,542 --> 00:53:55,958
are already packed in the fancy new car.
1093
00:53:56,042 --> 00:53:58,375
- The rest of what stuff?
- Your camping gear.
1094
00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,042
What? Who's going camping?
1095
00:54:00,125 --> 00:54:02,958
You are. The Icy Pines Campout
is this weekend.
1096
00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:06,208
Yeah, well, there's no point
in goin' on that anymore.
1097
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:09,542
You two signed up, and you're gonna
honor your commitment.
1098
00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:12,083
After all, Heffleys aren't quitters.
1099
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,792
Oh! And bring lots of layers.
1100
00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:18,417
I've heard it's gonna be
a cold one this weekend.
1101
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:23,792
[grunts]
1102
00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:28,292
[engine starts, roars]
1103
00:54:28,375 --> 00:54:31,375
[♪ upbeat rock music playing,
"Here It Goes Again" by OK Go]
1104
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,167
[both exclaiming] Whoa!
1105
00:54:40,250 --> 00:54:41,417
[tires screeching]
1106
00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,000
[car honking]
1107
00:54:45,667 --> 00:54:48,458
♪ Throw on your clothes
the second side of Surfer Rosa ♪
1108
00:54:48,542 --> 00:54:51,250
♪ And you leave me
with my jaw on the floor ♪
1109
00:54:51,792 --> 00:54:52,792
♪ Hey! ♪
1110
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:58,250
♪ Oh, just when you think
you're in control ♪
1111
00:54:58,333 --> 00:55:00,583
♪ Just when you think you've got a hold ♪
1112
00:55:00,667 --> 00:55:02,333
♪ Just when you get on a roll... ♪
1113
00:55:02,417 --> 00:55:03,792
Whoo! Yes!
1114
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,000
[both exclaiming] Whoa!
1115
00:55:08,583 --> 00:55:10,667
♪ ...should've known
should've known again ♪
1116
00:55:10,750 --> 00:55:12,667
♪ But here it goes again ♪
1117
00:55:13,458 --> 00:55:15,417
♪ Oh, oh, here it goes again ♪
1118
00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:21,417
♪ Starts out easy, something simple
something sleazy ♪
1119
00:55:21,500 --> 00:55:23,583
♪ Something inching past
the edge of reserve ♪
1120
00:55:24,875 --> 00:55:25,875
[chittering, giggling]
1121
00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:28,208
♪ Now through the lines
of the cheap Venetian blinds ♪
1122
00:55:28,292 --> 00:55:30,667
♪ Your car is pulling off of the curb ♪
1123
00:55:30,750 --> 00:55:32,208
[crashing]
1124
00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:40,042
♪ I guess there's gotta be
a break in the monotony ♪
1125
00:55:40,125 --> 00:55:42,167
♪ But Jesus when it rains
how it pours... ♪
1126
00:55:42,250 --> 00:55:43,292
- [both gasping]
- [chittering]
1127
00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:45,000
- [snarling]
- [Frank yelping] Oh!
1128
00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:48,458
♪ And you leave me, yeah you leave me ♪
1129
00:55:51,083 --> 00:55:54,917
♪ Oh, oh here it goes, here it goes
here it goes again ♪
1130
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,792
♪ Oh, here it goes again ♪
1131
00:55:56,875 --> 00:56:00,333
♪ I should've known, should've known
should've known again ♪
1132
00:56:00,417 --> 00:56:01,542
♪ But here it goes again ♪
1133
00:56:01,625 --> 00:56:04,792
♪ Oh, here it goes
Oh, here it goes ♪
1134
00:56:05,458 --> 00:56:06,458
♪ Oh, here it goes again ♪
1135
00:56:06,542 --> 00:56:09,625
♪ I should've known
I should've known ♪
1136
00:56:10,375 --> 00:56:11,625
♪ But here it goes again ♪
1137
00:56:11,708 --> 00:56:13,333
♪ Oh, here it
Oh, here it ♪
1138
00:56:13,417 --> 00:56:14,958
♪ Oh, here it
Oh, here it... ♪
1139
00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:19,292
[man] Can't beat nature.
With that, we're done.
1140
00:56:19,375 --> 00:56:21,042
[indistinct chatter]
1141
00:56:21,125 --> 00:56:22,625
Great job, Rowley.
1142
00:56:22,708 --> 00:56:23,708
Thanks, Dad.
1143
00:56:25,292 --> 00:56:26,750
Who wants cocoa?
1144
00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:29,292
[Greg humming]
1145
00:56:32,375 --> 00:56:33,500
[sighing sadly]
1146
00:56:34,292 --> 00:56:36,625
Remind me to thank Rowley
for the Joshie blanket.
1147
00:56:36,708 --> 00:56:38,208
Are you almost done with that?
1148
00:56:38,292 --> 00:56:41,458
I just need a second.
The instructions didn't make any sense.
1149
00:56:42,833 --> 00:56:44,333
[grunting]
1150
00:56:45,958 --> 00:56:48,208
[boy] Are we gonna make s'mores?
I love s'mores.
1151
00:56:48,292 --> 00:56:51,375
It says here you're supposed to put
the stakes in the corners first.
1152
00:56:51,458 --> 00:56:52,708
Dad, I've got this.
1153
00:56:53,833 --> 00:56:55,458
[sighing sadly]
1154
00:57:00,458 --> 00:57:02,875
Yes! See? I didn't need any help.
1155
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:06,750
- [groans]
- [yelps]
1156
00:57:07,375 --> 00:57:08,875
[gasps]
1157
00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:13,583
[grunting, yelping]
1158
00:57:15,042 --> 00:57:18,583
This is like the lawn mower situation
all over again.
1159
00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:20,958
That was, like, a hundred years ago.
1160
00:57:21,042 --> 00:57:23,417
Yeah, well, some things never change.
1161
00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:25,625
You don't need to pile on.
You already won.
1162
00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:27,208
What's that supposed to mean?
1163
00:57:27,292 --> 00:57:29,500
You got your way. I'm going to Spag Union.
1164
00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:31,375
And you think I'm happy about that?
1165
00:57:31,458 --> 00:57:33,833
I'm sending you there
because you left me no choice.
1166
00:57:35,458 --> 00:57:37,625
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
the truth sooner.
1167
00:57:37,708 --> 00:57:40,500
But we were starting to
actually have fun together.
1168
00:57:40,583 --> 00:57:42,750
And I didn't want anything
to mess that up.
1169
00:57:43,917 --> 00:57:45,750
[sighs] Look, Greg, I...
1170
00:57:45,833 --> 00:57:48,083
[♪ trumpet blasts]
1171
00:57:48,667 --> 00:57:51,292
Bring it in, campers. It's chow time.
1172
00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:53,000
- [chuckling] Yeah!
- [whistling]
1173
00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:56,542
How about we just try
to survive the weekend, huh?
1174
00:57:58,125 --> 00:57:59,125
Deal.
1175
00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:03,167
Whatever we don't use,
we freeze to use in next year's chili.
1176
00:58:03,750 --> 00:58:05,000
Ooh, green pepper.
1177
00:58:05,083 --> 00:58:06,292
[chomps]
1178
00:58:08,583 --> 00:58:12,458
[gasps] Four years ago, if memory serves.
1179
00:58:12,542 --> 00:58:16,750
Uh... you know,
I think I'll just have a biscuit.
1180
00:58:16,833 --> 00:58:19,292
[laughs] I'm not surprised.
1181
00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:24,917
You wouldn't try my famous chili
when you were your son's age.
1182
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,250
Wait. You went on
one of these camp-outs before?
1183
00:58:28,333 --> 00:58:29,917
I bet he didn't tell you this one.
1184
00:58:31,292 --> 00:58:33,417
Your father fell down
an embankment on a hike
1185
00:58:33,500 --> 00:58:36,083
and stirred up an underground wasp nest.
1186
00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:38,167
- [buzzing]
- [screaming]
1187
00:58:38,792 --> 00:58:40,667
{\an8}[Master Barrett] Must've been stung
20 times.
1188
00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:42,125
- [laughs]
- [sighs wearily]
1189
00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:43,667
It was only seven.
1190
00:58:43,750 --> 00:58:47,500
Boy, your dad has a talent
for spinning disaster outta thin air.
1191
00:58:47,583 --> 00:58:49,625
[laughs heartily]
1192
00:58:49,708 --> 00:58:52,708
Don't worry, I'll eat
whatever Frank doesn't want.
1193
00:58:53,250 --> 00:58:54,750
Greg, over here!
1194
00:58:54,833 --> 00:58:56,917
Hey, Rowley! Come on!
1195
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,167
Yeah, sure. Why not?
1196
00:58:58,250 --> 00:59:00,375
No chili for you, Heffley?
1197
00:59:00,458 --> 00:59:03,667
Oh. Uh... It... It didn't look
too appetizing.
1198
00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:06,458
Good call. It's been repeating
on Rowley here.
1199
00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:08,208
I tooted.
1200
00:59:08,292 --> 00:59:10,375
Rowley, language!
1201
00:59:10,458 --> 00:59:11,750
Sorry, Dad.
1202
00:59:11,833 --> 00:59:14,625
[both laughing]
1203
00:59:14,708 --> 00:59:18,042
So, are you boys worried
that the muddy hand might get you tonight?
1204
00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:22,125
What's the muddy hand?
1205
00:59:22,208 --> 00:59:27,417
Well, some people say a dismembered hand
crawls through these woods,
1206
00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:33,125
looking for innocent young Woodchippers
to drag into the darkness.
1207
00:59:33,208 --> 00:59:35,583
But we are innocent young Woodchippers.
1208
00:59:35,667 --> 00:59:37,167
Ah! Don't worry.
1209
00:59:37,833 --> 00:59:41,417
It's probably just a fairy tale
to keep campers-- [gags]
1210
00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:43,042
- [yelps]
- [screams]
1211
00:59:43,125 --> 00:59:45,083
- [sighing sadly]
- [groans]
1212
00:59:46,542 --> 00:59:50,333
[laughs heartily]
1213
00:59:50,875 --> 00:59:53,000
Ah. That one gets 'em every time.
1214
00:59:53,083 --> 00:59:54,708
- [laughs exultantly]
- [clattering]
1215
00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:56,125
[groans softly]
1216
00:59:56,208 --> 00:59:58,625
I think I see a table
with more space over there.
1217
00:59:58,708 --> 01:00:01,083
Muddy hand, so played out.
1218
01:00:01,167 --> 01:00:03,250
What? Somethin' I said?
1219
01:00:03,333 --> 01:00:04,667
[sighs softly]
1220
01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,625
[♪ trumpet blasts]
1221
01:00:06,708 --> 01:00:09,000
All right, Woodchippers,
enough foolin' around.
1222
01:00:09,083 --> 01:00:12,667
We have to squeeze in
a five-mile hike before dark.
1223
01:00:12,750 --> 01:00:14,417
[all groaning]
1224
01:00:17,292 --> 01:00:19,042
Sorry about my dad.
1225
01:00:19,125 --> 01:00:21,167
He can be a little extra sometimes.
1226
01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:22,708
Believe me, I get it.
1227
01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:25,042
[grunting]
1228
01:00:25,125 --> 01:00:28,000
- Come on.
- Hey, Frank.
1229
01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:30,458
- [sighing] Hey, Walt.
- Hey, sorry.
1230
01:00:30,542 --> 01:00:32,000
I hope I didn't scare your boy.
1231
01:00:32,083 --> 01:00:33,958
Oh, he'll survive.
1232
01:00:34,042 --> 01:00:37,000
And... And, I'm sure Weston's heard
that story more than once, huh?
1233
01:00:37,708 --> 01:00:38,833
Yeah. I... [chuckles nervously]
1234
01:00:38,917 --> 01:00:42,750
I can't seem to do anything without
getting under Weston's skin these days.
1235
01:00:42,833 --> 01:00:44,625
Is it like that with you and Greg?
1236
01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:45,958
Well... [stutters]
1237
01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:48,583
...we don't always get along,
if that's what you're asking.
1238
01:00:48,667 --> 01:00:51,042
Guess it's just a weird age, right?
1239
01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:52,208
Yeah. Something like that.
1240
01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:55,833
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not the perfect father by any means.
1241
01:00:55,917 --> 01:00:58,417
[both laughing]
1242
01:00:58,500 --> 01:00:59,917
You can say that again.
1243
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:03,875
I just don't wanna do anything
to drive my boy away.
1244
01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:06,250
We only get 'em
for a little while, you know?
1245
01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:07,917
[grunts]
1246
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,250
Yeah.
1247
01:01:09,333 --> 01:01:11,750
You're lucky you and your boy
are so much alike.
1248
01:01:11,833 --> 01:01:14,250
Must make the whole
father-son thing a lot easier.
1249
01:01:14,333 --> 01:01:16,417
You think I'm like Greg?
1250
01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:17,917
Are you kidding me?
1251
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,458
You two are practically the same person.
1252
01:01:20,542 --> 01:01:23,250
- [grunting] Come on.
- Huh.
1253
01:01:23,333 --> 01:01:25,167
All right. Come on, Weston,
1254
01:01:25,250 --> 01:01:28,667
- before the muddy hand gets us.
- [sighing sadly]
1255
01:01:30,167 --> 01:01:32,208
See you out on the trail, Heffley.
1256
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,125
- [water splashing]
- [indistinct chatter]
1257
01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:38,583
[Master Barrett] Come on now, keep up!
1258
01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:41,167
We don't want anyone gettin' lost.
1259
01:01:41,250 --> 01:01:43,542
Be careful crossin' here, Woodchippers.
1260
01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:47,000
This natural bridge has been here
since I was in diapers...
1261
01:01:47,083 --> 01:01:49,083
[chuckling] ...if you can believe that.
1262
01:01:49,792 --> 01:01:52,375
[man] Get in front of me.
Time waits for no one.
1263
01:01:53,250 --> 01:01:54,542
This way, campers.
1264
01:01:54,625 --> 01:01:57,000
Doesn't it feel great to be out in nature?
1265
01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,458
Exercise is great for the constitution.
1266
01:01:59,542 --> 01:02:02,542
And these chia seeds are fueling my body.
1267
01:02:02,625 --> 01:02:05,542
[Greg] That muddy hand thing
was pretty dumb.
1268
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:07,542
Mr. Warren was just tryin' to scare us.
1269
01:02:07,625 --> 01:02:09,167
- Right?
- [chuckles softly]
1270
01:02:09,250 --> 01:02:11,292
I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it.
1271
01:02:11,375 --> 01:02:14,250
I mean, a hand couldn't technically
keep living without a body.
1272
01:02:14,333 --> 01:02:16,750
How would it breathe?
It doesn't even make sense.
1273
01:02:16,833 --> 01:02:18,875
Yeah, you're probably right about that.
1274
01:02:18,958 --> 01:02:22,042
A tent doesn't feel like good protection
against that thing, though.
1275
01:02:22,125 --> 01:02:25,125
Maybe we should keep the opening
zipped up just in case.
1276
01:02:25,208 --> 01:02:27,875
Well, only if it makes you feel better.
1277
01:02:27,958 --> 01:02:29,792
- Deal.
- [both chuckle]
1278
01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:33,708
[wind howling]
1279
01:02:34,833 --> 01:02:37,125
Uh... do you think we're lost?
1280
01:02:37,208 --> 01:02:39,250
Of course not. Don't worry.
1281
01:02:39,333 --> 01:02:42,333
Troopmaster Barrett knows these trails
like his own chili.
1282
01:02:42,417 --> 01:02:45,042
Woodchippers. Come on, gather round.
1283
01:02:45,125 --> 01:02:47,125
We appear to have wandered off the trail.
1284
01:02:47,208 --> 01:02:48,667
Seriously?
1285
01:02:48,750 --> 01:02:51,667
Wait a minute. I've picked up
what appears to be human tracks.
1286
01:02:51,750 --> 01:02:54,792
These will definitely
lead us back to civilization.
1287
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,375
Wait a minute,
these look like my footprints.
1288
01:02:59,125 --> 01:03:01,667
- [groaning]
- And these are mine.
1289
01:03:01,750 --> 01:03:05,458
- [groaning]
- We've been walking in circles!
1290
01:03:06,042 --> 01:03:07,125
Well, that settles it.
1291
01:03:08,542 --> 01:03:11,167
- [echoing] We're lost!
- [eagle screeching]
1292
01:03:12,208 --> 01:03:13,375
Oh, come on!
1293
01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:15,333
[indistinct chatter, sighing]
1294
01:03:16,083 --> 01:03:19,042
It's a dream come true. [laughs]
1295
01:03:19,125 --> 01:03:21,250
Uh, what are we gonna do,
Troopmaster Barrett?
1296
01:03:21,333 --> 01:03:23,042
Best we can do is make camp for the night
1297
01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:25,458
and hope that someone comes
searching for us in the morning.
1298
01:03:25,542 --> 01:03:27,833
Make camp? But we don't have our tents!
1299
01:03:27,917 --> 01:03:29,333
Or sleeping bags.
1300
01:03:29,417 --> 01:03:31,333
I don't even have my pillow.
1301
01:03:32,125 --> 01:03:36,500
We'll sleep closely together, and use
our body heat to keep each other warm.
1302
01:03:36,583 --> 01:03:39,958
- Quick, son, before we freeze.
- [all groaning]
1303
01:03:40,792 --> 01:03:41,875
Troopmaster Barrett,
1304
01:03:41,958 --> 01:03:44,583
what if we could find our way back to camp
before the sun goes down?
1305
01:03:44,667 --> 01:03:45,792
Don't we have a compass?
1306
01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:50,292
Unfortunately, I broke mine when I lost
my footing on the trail back there.
1307
01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:53,417
But isn't there a way
to make one of those?
1308
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:56,208
Greg's right.
It's in the Orienteering section.
1309
01:03:57,833 --> 01:03:59,292
- [man] There we are.
- [exclaims]
1310
01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:01,125
Dad, do we have a needle and thread?
1311
01:04:01,208 --> 01:04:02,667
We sure do.
1312
01:04:02,750 --> 01:04:06,917
Hey, maybe we can knit some sweaters.
[laughs]
1313
01:04:12,042 --> 01:04:13,042
Hmm.
1314
01:04:14,125 --> 01:04:17,500
- Rowley, let me see that jar.
- My chia seeds!
1315
01:04:22,667 --> 01:04:23,875
[all cheering]
1316
01:04:25,042 --> 01:04:27,250
Onward, campers. [laughs]
1317
01:04:28,625 --> 01:04:29,958
Good thinkin', Greg.
1318
01:04:30,042 --> 01:04:33,083
Hey, if the Continental Army
gave up in the face of a challenge,
1319
01:04:33,167 --> 01:04:35,042
they never would've turned
the tides on the British.
1320
01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:37,000
[gasps] You were listening.
1321
01:04:37,542 --> 01:04:39,167
Well, why wouldn't I have listened?
1322
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:41,250
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
1323
01:04:49,083 --> 01:04:51,208
[gasps] Good news, campers.
1324
01:04:51,292 --> 01:04:53,167
We found the natural bridge!
1325
01:04:53,250 --> 01:04:55,792
- [indistinct chatter]
- [yelps]
1326
01:04:55,875 --> 01:04:57,750
- [all gasping]
- Whoa!
1327
01:05:05,417 --> 01:05:06,750
- [thuds]
- [all gasping]
1328
01:05:06,833 --> 01:05:08,917
What do you say
we go back to my camping idea?
1329
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,292
[indistinct muttering]
1330
01:05:17,625 --> 01:05:18,792
[children laughing]
1331
01:05:18,875 --> 01:05:21,417
Petey, one hand on the rope, please.
1332
01:05:22,458 --> 01:05:24,875
That's it. Guys, I know what to do.
1333
01:05:24,958 --> 01:05:26,125
Does anybody have a rope?
1334
01:05:27,708 --> 01:05:30,125
Well, what's your plan, young Heffley?
1335
01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:35,625
We can tie it around two trees
and use it to cross the rocks.
1336
01:05:35,708 --> 01:05:37,583
We just need to use a strong knot.
1337
01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:40,375
Oh. That would be a bowline knot.
[chuckles] I remember.
1338
01:05:40,458 --> 01:05:42,167
Yeah, but we never mastered that one.
1339
01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:44,792
If we work together,
maybe we can figure it out.
1340
01:05:45,375 --> 01:05:46,958
[grunts]
1341
01:05:47,042 --> 01:05:49,375
Okay. I think you got the loop right.
1342
01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:52,208
We just need to... [grunts]
...meet in the middle.
1343
01:05:53,958 --> 01:05:56,417
- [all cheering]
- Huh. That wasn't so hard, was it?
1344
01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:58,167
Wish we'd figured that out sooner.
1345
01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:00,292
All right, let's do this, Woodchippers.
1346
01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:01,875
[indistinct chatter]
1347
01:06:02,708 --> 01:06:03,708
[Frank] Okay, come on.
1348
01:06:05,292 --> 01:06:06,583
Watch your step.
1349
01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,208
[boy] All right, let's go. Whoa, whoa.
1350
01:06:09,167 --> 01:06:10,958
Whoa! [sighs]
1351
01:06:11,042 --> 01:06:13,417
Now, be careful. These rocks are slippery.
1352
01:06:15,417 --> 01:06:16,583
Almost there.
1353
01:06:20,583 --> 01:06:22,000
That's all of them, Frank.
1354
01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:23,250
All right. Come on, Walt.
1355
01:06:23,333 --> 01:06:24,458
Coming over now.
1356
01:06:24,542 --> 01:06:26,208
Make way for the big dog.
1357
01:06:26,292 --> 01:06:28,792
Should I do it with my eyes closed?
[laughs]
1358
01:06:29,542 --> 01:06:31,375
[yelps, gasping]
1359
01:06:31,458 --> 01:06:32,625
Dad!
1360
01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:33,792
All good! [sputtering]
1361
01:06:33,875 --> 01:06:35,000
Don't worry! [sputtering]
1362
01:06:35,083 --> 01:06:36,250
Dad, let's go.
1363
01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:38,500
Just hang on! We're coming!
1364
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:40,917
- Dad, are you okay?
- I'm fine!
1365
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,875
This water isn't even that cold.
1366
01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:45,042
[sputtering] More like room temperature.
1367
01:06:45,833 --> 01:06:48,250
This isn't even a river. [sputtering]
1368
01:06:48,333 --> 01:06:49,708
It's more like a creek. [sputtering]
1369
01:06:50,500 --> 01:06:53,250
[gasps, screams] Oh, God! Oh, God!
1370
01:06:53,333 --> 01:06:54,375
[wailing]
1371
01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:55,708
[sputtering]
1372
01:06:56,958 --> 01:06:58,250
All right,
1373
01:06:58,333 --> 01:07:00,333
[echoing] ...you've got my attention now!
1374
01:07:03,417 --> 01:07:04,833
Well, this is it for me.
1375
01:07:04,917 --> 01:07:09,333
Weston! Make sure they change the oil
in the SUV every 3,000 miles.
1376
01:07:09,417 --> 01:07:11,292
Greg, wait until I get there!
1377
01:07:11,375 --> 01:07:13,417
Mr. Warren, grab my hand!
1378
01:07:14,292 --> 01:07:16,292
- [whimpering]
- [indistinct chatter]
1379
01:07:17,875 --> 01:07:19,500
- Whoa!
- [groaning] Whoa!
1380
01:07:21,042 --> 01:07:24,750
- Whoa!
- I got you, Greg. And I'm not letting go.
1381
01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:27,250
[Master Barrett] This is what we've been
trainin' for, Woodchippers.
1382
01:07:27,333 --> 01:07:29,917
Everybody, make a human chain!
1383
01:07:31,667 --> 01:07:34,958
Pull! Pull! With every
ounce of your strength.
1384
01:07:35,042 --> 01:07:37,125
[all grunting]
1385
01:07:37,208 --> 01:07:38,292
[grunts]
1386
01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:41,333
[all cheering]
1387
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:43,625
Are you okay, Dad?
1388
01:07:43,708 --> 01:07:46,500
[chuckles softly] I am now.
1389
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:48,958
[man] That's how you do it.
1390
01:07:49,042 --> 01:07:52,250
Hey, I think I can see the camp from here!
1391
01:07:52,333 --> 01:07:55,000
All right, let's get back
before hypothermia sets in.
1392
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:07,458
And with the power vested in me
by the Plainville Woodchippers,
1393
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:12,208
I'm proud to award you both
the Wilderness Survival badge.
1394
01:08:15,667 --> 01:08:19,542
- Whoa!
- [all cheering]
1395
01:08:24,458 --> 01:08:26,500
All right, everybody, lights out!
1396
01:08:26,583 --> 01:08:29,542
- Sunrise hike tomorrow.
- [all groaning]
1397
01:08:29,625 --> 01:08:30,708
Come on. Hop to it.
1398
01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:35,458
- Hey, nice save, Greg. I'm impressed.
- Thanks, Greg.
1399
01:08:35,542 --> 01:08:37,542
Yeah, don't mention it.
1400
01:08:37,625 --> 01:08:39,500
Frank, great son you got there.
1401
01:08:40,333 --> 01:08:41,333
You too, Walt.
1402
01:08:42,167 --> 01:08:43,917
All right. Come on, Weston.
Race you to the tent.
1403
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:45,167
[both chuckle]
1404
01:08:45,750 --> 01:08:49,333
So, uh, you want to roast
some marshmallows or something?
1405
01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:53,667
Nah, I think I've had enough
outdoor activities for a weekend.
1406
01:08:53,750 --> 01:08:55,500
Maybe a whole lifetime.
1407
01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:59,542
Yeah, and after all that I'm not even
close to Woodchipper Elite.
1408
01:08:59,625 --> 01:09:01,667
But at least I got this one.
1409
01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,958
I hope the guys at Spag Union
will be impressed.
1410
01:09:04,042 --> 01:09:07,583
Yeah, uh, I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
1411
01:09:07,667 --> 01:09:10,083
Greg, we're not sending you to Spag Union.
1412
01:09:10,667 --> 01:09:11,833
Whoa! What?
1413
01:09:11,917 --> 01:09:13,875
I'm gonna cancel your registration.
1414
01:09:13,958 --> 01:09:16,708
I don't want to lose out
on spending more time with my son.
1415
01:09:16,792 --> 01:09:19,375
I only get you
for a little while, you know?
1416
01:09:21,167 --> 01:09:23,417
[♪ pleasant music playing]
1417
01:09:24,208 --> 01:09:25,917
- You know what I wish, though?
- What?
1418
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,292
That we didn't have
to spend the night in a tent.
1419
01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:32,458
[chitters]
1420
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:37,542
Hmm.
1421
01:09:38,125 --> 01:09:40,667
- [clicking]
- [engine starts]
1422
01:09:41,750 --> 01:09:43,375
- [engine roaring]
- [tires screeching]
1423
01:09:47,458 --> 01:09:49,042
Ha, ha! Yeah, all right!
1424
01:09:49,125 --> 01:09:51,250
- Yeah, crush it!
- Destroy it all!
1425
01:09:51,333 --> 01:09:52,333
[both laughing]
1426
01:09:53,458 --> 01:09:56,125
You know, some people think
you and me are pretty similar.
1427
01:09:56,208 --> 01:09:58,208
Me and you? No way.
1428
01:09:58,292 --> 01:10:00,042
I know. Crazy, right?
1429
01:10:00,125 --> 01:10:03,375
I'll take it, though. I can think of
worse people to be compared to.
1430
01:10:03,458 --> 01:10:04,958
Ah. Thanks, kid.
1431
01:10:05,042 --> 01:10:06,417
[chittering]
1432
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:10,042
[Greg] So it turns out, me and my dad
have more in common than I thought.
1433
01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:12,583
For starters, we're definitely
both indoor people.
1434
01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:15,083
And I'm not too proud to say that
1435
01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:17,958
I've already learned a thing or two
from my dad along the way.
1436
01:10:18,042 --> 01:10:21,583
But I'm not sure there's anything else
he could teach me at this point.
1437
01:10:21,667 --> 01:10:24,208
Uh-oh. I might have forgotten
to lock the car.
1438
01:10:24,292 --> 01:10:26,042
Greg, you didn't lock it, did you?
1439
01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:28,292
And how was I supposed to do that?
1440
01:10:28,375 --> 01:10:29,500
With the key?
1441
01:10:29,583 --> 01:10:30,667
The key?
1442
01:10:30,750 --> 01:10:33,125
- [car alarm blaring]
- [chittering]
1443
01:10:33,208 --> 01:10:35,583
[♪ upbeat music playing]
115057
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