Original subtitles

Hello.

What do you say we get married right away?

Oh, Jess, don't start that again. I told you a thousand times I'll never marry

until Angie's married.

Angie better get on to herself.

She's not getting any younger. That's just it. She's four years older than I

If I get married, first people are going to call her an old maid. Then nobody

will marry her.

Yes. And in the meantime, we have to wait and...

Hey, watch her with Bertie.

I'm sorry, Bertie, but I've decided that I can't marry you.

Oh, but why?

Why the sudden change? I mean to say, dash it.

You don't come up with specifications.

Specifications?

What am I, a horse or a silly ass?

Well, I wouldn't say that you were silly.

But, my dear, you know, you can't judge a husband in a bathing suit.

No, but you can get a rough idea.

Oh.

Looks like another flop.

Oh, let her alone, dear. She'll find the right man someday.

Yeah, we won't live that long.

Why did she turn down Jack Peter?

Oh, she said he had no romance, no excitement.

She wants a man that she'll never be sure of.

Is that so?

Well, what about George Waters?

He looked like he'd never been kissed.

Oh, rot.

I'll tell you one thing. I'm not going to let your sister interfere with our

happiness. Oh, Jeff.

I mean it. You're going to marry me next week. Nothing's going to stop us. But

how can I? I know what I'll do.

I'll marry Angie myself.

What? Yeah, and then I'll poison her and marry you.

Where are you going?

Where am I going? To get the poison.

Take that train to town, honey.

Oh, Fred.

You think of nothing but business.

The wife likes to have her husband at least one night a week.

Hey, you. Cut that out. That's my wife.

Sorry. Thought it was mine.

Can you beat that?

Honey, when I'm away nights, I hope you won't...

Because I'd have the extreme pleasure of...

wait for me, you go up and have your lunch.

Help! Help somebody! Get a doctor!

Help there! Help!

Get a doctor! Get a doctor!

I think he's dead!

The poor dear.

He has such a soulful, sad face.

so careless.

Suppose he dies.

That's right, that's right. Be as cheerful as possible.

Hello, what's this?

Carpet tax.

Let's see if there's any more.

Easy,

easy, easy.

There's a pretty bad scalp wound, but no apparent fracture.

Probably some brain concussion.

He must have perfect rest and quiet. I advise he have a nurse. Won't I do,

Doctor? I'll give him the best possible care.

The poor thing.

Well, all right, Miss Emery, if you want to.

I'll go down and write out some instructions for you.

I wonder who he is.

He looks like one who has loved and suffered.

Oh!

Oh, this is coming, too.

Oh, there was an accident, my poor man.

And you're in my home.

Don't worry.

Everything will be all right.

I'm going to take care of you.

I won't be gone long. I'm just going down to see what the doctor tells me to

for you.

Come on, Ginny. I may need you.

Jeff, dear, now, there's the deal. You stay here and take care of him, won't

you? You watch over him carefully.

Come on, Jenny, we'll see what the doctor has to say.

Hurry up.

I'm awfully sorry, old man.

I'm the fellow who hit you.

But you weren't looking where you were going.

Oh, I was looking at her.

I... I don't blame you.

And, uh...

What do you think of her now that you've met her?

Oh, she's beautiful.

Hmm.

Say, what's your name?

Reginald Irving.

What business are you in?

I'm a sign tacker.

Of what?

Sign tacker.

I go around putting signs on telegraph posts and fences and things.

Oh, I see. In the advertising business, huh?

Yeah.

Are you married?

Oh, no.

Have you ever had anything to do with women?

Oh, I used to sell vacuum cleaners.

Oh, no, no. I mean, have you ever had a love affair with a woman? Oh, gosh, no.

Well, you're going to have.

Oh, I can't.

I don't get paid until Saturday.

That's why this won't cost you anything.

You like Miss Embry, don't you?

Is that the lady that was just here?

Mm -hmm. Oh, she's marvelous.

How would you like to know her real well?

I might fix it so that she could be the mother of your children.

Keep them continually up. I think the scaffolding will show up very well.

Thank you, Doctor.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Doctor. I'll take good care of them.

Goodbye.

Well, I found out who our patient is.

Really?

You'd never guess.

Oh, darling, don't be so mysterious.

Reggie Irving.

Reggie Irving? Uh -huh, the Reggie Irving. I don't know him.

What, you don't know Reggie Irving, the great outdoorsman?

Does he run with our set?

Oh, no, no, hardly.

No, he's better known in London than Paris.

I'm surprised you never heard of the name.

I never heard of him either.

Oh, listen.

He's figured in so many divorce cases that all the lawyers in France wept when

he left.

Not really.

Surely.

Not.

Reggie Irving.

The little devil.

And he has such a soulful, innocent look in his eyes. Innocent?

Oh, that's just the way he works.

Why, the very clothes he had on today were a disguise.

He's probably on his way to a rendezvous at the home of one of your neighbors.

I wonder who it can be.

Why, he's the worst boudoir snake in captivity.

Pardon me.

What are you going to do?

What am I going to do? Phone for an ambulance.

Not on your life. The doctor says he mustn't be moved.

But he can't stay here. What will people say?

Oh, don't be absurd. I can manage him perfectly.

Well, how about Ginny? She'd probably fall for him, too. And I couldn't stand

that. I'll take care of Ginny. All right. Have it your own way. But

warned you.

Warned me?

You've intrigued me.

A lady to see Mr. Herbie.

Tell her that he can't see anyone.

Oh, I'm sure he'll see me.

Reggie! My poor darling Reggie.

To think of you lying here like this.

Heaven! What's this?

Porridge!

Here, take this away.

He detests porridge.

Really, I must say. Don't you suppose I know what he likes for breakfast?

Reggie.

Reggie. Don't you know me?

It's your little Gwennie.

Your little Gwennie. Son, it's true. What they told me downstairs.

He's lost his memory.

Oh, Reggie.

Reggie. Really, really, really, I must ask you to leave. You're disturbing him.

All right. Nurse.

Sweetheart.

off of him. Listen, baby, how do you... Will you please take your hands off of

him, Reggie, darling? I didn't know that you were sick and I didn't know it.

Will you please take your hands off of him? Listen, Reggie, darling. Did you

it over?

No, my shiver couldn't have done any better.

Good girl.

Here's 50 extra.

As long as Mr. Irving is in my house and my charge, I can't have his temperature

going up like this. You'll have to go.

And as

far as you're concerned, I'm going to sue you for breach of promise and have

thrown in jail.

Come along, give him to me.

Give him to me.

Oh, have you killed him? No, I think he's all right.

All right, I'll pick up with you later. Well, I'll see you later.

Shh. He must have absolute rest and quiet, Marie.

No one must enter or disturb him in any way.

Yes, ma 'am.

Darling. Say, darling, I've got some good news for you. Really? Yes, I think

Angie's just mad about that little shrimp upstairs.

Is that so?

Yes. Well, you know... She won't let anybody come near the room. No, I didn't

think she would. Oh, she's going to have a devil of a time with that little

brute.

fixing the curtains, sweetheart. Oh, I see. Yes, they're badly hung.

Well, I'm going upstairs, darling. Yes, darling. I'll have the curtains fixed.

All right, sweetie. When the wind blows, they have no resistance.

All right, darling. You've gotten changed, and I'll fix the curtains.

Hey, hey, hey, what did I tell you?

Don't do that. I want him alive.

Come on, put him over here.

That's all right.

Now beat him, Peter. You get your 50.

I'll give it to you at the end of the day. All right.

I'm glad to see you. Yes, sir. Can I do anything for you, sir?

No, nothing. Thank you.

Nice pants you have, Horace. Thank you, sir.

I'm glad you like it.

Thank you, sir.

Yes, sir.

Hello,

Horace. Glad to see you.

Very glad to see you. Glad you're still with us. I'm still fine. Don't you feel

the same?

Bring it here. This is the way to do it.

Cara Zania sat on the terrace of the Hotel de Paris, gazing out over the

I was afraid those screams might have wakened him.

No, it's quite all right.

I'm just reading him to sleep.

An attentive waiter saw her, went to her, and hovered over her. Is there

anything that Madame desires?

Yes. Oh, he's perspiring dreadfully.

You see? Well, that's splendid, yes. The fever has probably broken up. Being a

waiter, he waited.

But being... Being an intelligent waiter, he...

little, uh, irritation somewhere.

Being an intelligent waiter, he didn't wait very long.

And also being... No.

He didn't do it, did he?

So, she sat off the terrace.

Lovely gown, Leila.

And you'll be down soon.

Yes, I want to see Angie.

Have you seen this issue of the, uh, social gossip? No. Don't tell me there's

more about her and Reggie Irving.

Of course, we knew there'd be lots of broken hearts when Reggie Irving's

engagement to Angelica Embray was announced.

But we hardly expected that the prospective bridegroom's various

would necessitate a midnight supper last Monday in a private room at a seaside

hotel with a certain lovely blonde divorcee of Long Island. Oh, Leela,

awful. And a week before the wedding.

And you already think that I have been making eyes and side glances at that

impossible wimp of hers.

And this atrocious paper accuses me of being his companion.

And you weren't there at all, were you, darling?

Thank goodness I have a perfect alibi.

Oh, Jess. Oh, that's all right, darling.

I'll go and see Reggie and demand an explanation. You do that, dear. Maybe it

isn't true.

I hope so, for Angie's sake.

Excuse me.

And how's everything?

Oh, it's terrible.

Terrible? What's happened?

She's worth eight million dollars.

Oh, and what's so terrible about that?

Oh, I could never marry a woman for her money.

Say, what's the matter with you?

You're managing her estate, and in another week she'll be your wife.

And I ought to tell her that I'm not the kind of man she thinks I am.

Say, you do that, and I'll...

Bye, darling.

Really, darling, you mustn't work so hard.

We're having tea on the terrace.

You must come out.

Wait a minute, Angelica.

I want to talk to you.

Why, of course, dear. What is it?

I've got something I want to say to you.

Alone. Oh, I know what it is, dear.

You want to tell me how much you love me.

And how happy you are.

But suppose I told you that I'm not the man you think I am.

And that I don't know these other women. I've never been out with them at all.

You naughty, naughty boy.

As if I'd believe it.

No, darling.

It's not your past I'm worried about.

It's your future and your present.

Bye -bye, dear.

No use.

You won't believe me.

Ah, sap.

Sap. Do you want to spoil everything?

Think of all I've done for you. Think of what this means to me. You're not going

to weaken until Ginny and I are married. And then, if you're determined to go

ahead and wreck two lives, one of them human, go as far as you like. But until

then, you'll stick.

You'll stick.

And as for that insignificant little nickapoo that you're so crazy about, I

wouldn't give him a thought. Indeed.

Well, many very attractive women have, my dear.

And besides, he is not an incomplete.

Oh, Angie, my dear. If he were ever left alone in a dark room with a beautiful

woman, he'd drop dead.

Hello,

Fred.

Oh, I'm so glad to see you.

I didn't know I was here.

I telephoned over.

How are you, Angie? Hello, Jimmy.

Hello, Fred. You're going to stay to tea, of course, Fred.

No, thanks. I can't stop.

Oh, Fred.

I'm sorry, Nita. I've got to go out of town at once. I really dropped in to say

goodbye. Oh, Fred, take me with you.

I can't, dear. This is... This is business.

Business again.

Oh, perhaps you two would like to say your tender goodbyes in private. Come

Jenny.

Mr. Irving, did you have this scandalous article put in here?

No.

Did you explain to Angie the story isn't true?

There's no use explaining.

She insists on believing that I'm bad. And I'm not. Honest, I'm not.

Well, I should think she'd be able to take one look at you and realize that if

you were left alone in the room with a woman, why... We'd both be safe.

But I was in a house one time all alone with the most beautiful French maid.

She tried to kiss me.

She was baking a pie.

And what did you do?

I ate the pie.

Oh, this is perfectly dreadful.

I'll wager everybody thinks I was there and that you held me in your arms and

kissed me.

Oh, I wouldn't know how.

Why, you never get such thoughts, do you?

Oh, I get the thoughts, but I'm scared to carry them out.

I apologize for even thinking that story was true.

Why, you have too much sense to even be seen with this poor little nitwit. Oh,

you heard.

Yes, and I'm happy I did.

Say, Angie, what's happened? Oh, nothing's happened. That's just it. Why,

nothing's ever happened to Reggie. Why, he's not even a man.

Oh, I am too.

Even Professor Einstein couldn't make me believe that.

You sap.

Oh, it's all I can do to keep my hands off you. I didn't know she was

Oh, you idiot.

You've gummed up the whole work.

Now we've got to do something at once, or else it's all off.

I wish it was.

I'm tired of being a villain.

Say, I've got it.

I've got it.

You're going to be caught with the goods.

I'm going to be a crook?

A crook, no.

You're going to have an affair with a woman tonight.

Oh, I'm a little nervous.

Can't you make it tomorrow night? No, tonight.

What woman?

Oh, never mind. Any woman. I'll attend to that. Now, listen.

You will go to the Seaside Hotel.

You'll have my rose there. You will register as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, and

Angelica will catch you.

Do you think that'll help me with Angelica? Help you?

Why, it'll marry you to her.

Oh, supposing Angelica is delayed.

No, she won't be delayed. I'll attend to that.

Well, what'll I do with this woman while I'm waiting? Gee, I'm not much at

talking.

Oh, well, I'll tell you. Here, I'll draw a diagram for you. Now, come along.

Write this down.

Now, first of all, you register as Mr.

and Mrs. John Smith.

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

Right. Right.

Now, when you first get to your room, order some champagne and broiled

Champ. Can't you make it beer?

Beer, certainly not. Champagne.

T -H -A -M -P -A... Oh, well, make it wine. W -I -N -E.

Well, what'll I call her?

Oh, call her kid, sweetheart, baby.

Kid, sweetheart, baby.

Uh -huh.

And then when you're helping her to take off her...

Take off her what?

Rat.

R -A -P.

No, rat. W -R -A -P.

Wap? What?

Make it coat.

K -O -T -E.

Then slip your arm around her.

Give her a little kiss.

Kiss.

Then pull her down onto your knee.

Must I do that?

Of course you must.

Well, I'll put it down.

After the knee, what happens?

Haven't you any imagination?

Yeah, but I'm afraid to depend on it.

Oh, well, you've got enough there anyhow. Now come along.

Run out to your room and pack your bags.

I'll attend to everything else. Go ahead. Have a good time.

I'll have a good time if it kills me.

Whatever you do, don't weaken.

Quick as you can. Go ahead, boy.

St. Hayward Inn?

I'll see, madam.

Who shall I say is calling? But I have an appointment.

What is the name, please?

He expects me.

What is the name, please?

Say, what if I don't want to tell you?

Well, then I shan't know who to say is here, madam. Well, good. Go tell him I'm

here. Yes, but...

I wasn't going to give my name after the article you made me put in my column.

I'm so glad you came. I rushed the moment I got your note.

Come along. Sit down.

Good.

Well, what is it? You've got me all goose pimples.

Polly, do you know how anxious I am to get married? Well, not half as anxious

I am. And look how calm I act. Yeah, but I want to get married next week.

And you're the one that's going to do it for me. Do it for you, great Scott.

When a man gets married, that's one thing he must do for himself.

Oh, don't you understand?

Tell me something. I'll understand it. All right.

I want you to meet this Reggie Irving. You mean the man that I've been

scandalizing in my column?

Mm -hmm. I want you to meet him alone.

No, it's all right.

It's all right. This is just a trick. Yeah, well, you don't want me. You want

magician. No, but he's quite harmless.

Why, if he were to find himself in a room alone with a woman, he'd probably

faint. Yeah, well, sometimes they come to life.

I'll be seeing you.

Oh, Sam!

Great Scott, don't scare me.

Now, listen.

I only want you to have supper with him.

Will you?

Well, will he give me a good supper? Oh, sure.

In my rooms at the Seaside Hotel.

And then, Miss Embry, his fiancée, will catch you there. That's all. That's

enough. The last time I was caught by a fiancée, she had more hair in her hand

than I had in my head. I'm not worrying about your hair. Well, I am. It's darn

hard to match.

Now, Jeff, you act so.

You ought to see a doctor. Goodbye.

Now, come here.

Listen, Polly, we've always been good friends, haven't we? Yes, but you're

scaring the friendship out of me.

Come along.

Let's get organized.

I told you over the telephone what a terrible fix I was in, didn't I?

Now then, if we can only get Angelica to find her Reggie with another woman...

Oh, I see.

Looks don't mean anything.

Anyone will do.

Oh, so you picked me.

Thanks. Oh, no. You're such a great scout.

Yes, I'm Buffalo Bill.

Now listen.

You will register as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith?

Now I'm Pocahontas.

No, that's just to get in.

You're supposed to be Reggie's wife, Mrs. John Smith, a pro tem.

Oh, I'd love to be a wife pro tem.

You can have all the fun and none of the housework.

You'd better see another architect.

Oh, maybe you're right.

I'd better find someone who can put a little pep into a man.

Someone with enough it to teach a man how to act with a woman.

Oh, yeah?

What is the address of this seaside hotel?

Nita, won't you listen to reason?

If you don't take me, you'll be sorry.

I told you I can't.

Then go.

And I don't care if you never come back.

Nita, you don't mean that.

Yes, I do.

Every word of it.

Leave me alone.

Oh, very well.

I'll wire you when I arrive. Make my excuses to Miss Embry. You make them

yourself.

Bye, dear.

Oh, Fred.

Yes,

you have. Here it is now. Seaside Hotel, 7 o 'clock. Croche Reggie and supper.

Gee, I love supper. I hope they have meat. So long, Jeff. I'll see you

Bye -bye, Polly. I know what I'll do.

Oh, dear, it's your own affair. But don't do anything foolish.

Alimony may be easy money, but it don't make up for a lot of lonesome nights.

I thought maybe if Angelica was late, I could practice putting.

Go ahead, beat it, beat it. Go by the garden.

Go ahead, everything's all set.

Hey. Oh, hello.

Why, Reggie, you wicked boy, where are you going?

Oh, no place in particular.

Oh, yes, you are.

You're going to... take me to supper to the worst place you know.

Huh?

Oh, I'm so glad it's you.

Why, Reggie, who ever would have thought you were so wicked?

Where shall we go?

Oh, that's all arranged.

Arranged? Seaside hotel, supper for two. Oh, Reggie, you darling.

Not yet.

So am I.

Oh, Reggie.

You understand this isn't really... Oh, I know. We're just playing.

My car's out the garden gate.

Let's take that.

All right.

Won't some people be surprised?

I hope so.

I overheard him making a date for this very evening.

You wait and see.

Well, listen, darling. I have some rather important business. So I'll run

I'll call you later. Goodbye, sweetheart.

Goodbye, darling.

Oh, there you are.

Where's that little wretch Reggie? I'm going to send him packing out of my

Now, Angie, wait a minute. I'm done with him. He's made me a laughing stock.

Oh, there he is. Really?

Getting into a car.

Alone? No. There's a woman in it.

I beg your pardon. Where's Nita? Of course, darling. They're going away

together. Oh, Reggie, how I misjudged you.

What is it? What's the matter? The matter? Nothing's the matter.

Everything's perfect.

My Reggie has just eloped with your Nita.

the Seaside Hotel.

What?

Do you think too much?

I'm Mr. John Smith and wife.

Oh.

Would you like two rooms?

Oh, no, I'll only be here one night.

Do you prefer single or twin beds?

Which is best?

How do you generally sleep?

On my back.

Then I'll give you a double bed.

I'm Mr.

Hayward's Mr. John Smith and wife.

Oh, you're that Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

Well, why didn't you say so before, sir?

Now, if you kindly register, we'll take care of you immediately.

Right here, Mr. Smith. We'll take care of you immediately.

Maybe I'd better sign it again.

Yes, I think you'd better.

Just... It must be raining out, isn't it?

Uh, boy, uh, will you take care of these people, please?

Well, I'll take them to the laundry.

No, uh, room 636.

Yeah. I'm all right now.

I'm all right now.

You're all right, Mr. Smith?

Anything else, sir?

No, thanks.

No supper? Nothing to eat?

Oh, yeah.

Bring wine.

Not so loud.

What's the matter? Why, I'll get ten years if I'm caught selling that stuff.

Well, if you don't get caught, how much will it cost?

Fifteen dollars a quart.

Bring champagne.

That's twenty dollars a quart. Bring wine.

Should have been beer. I told him.

Hey, what are you going to eat?

Lobster. Yeah?

The lady two?

Yes. That's three lobsters.

No.

One for me and the lady two.

The lady two. That's three lobsters.

I guess you'll have to eat two lobsters.

Sure you can spare this.

Say, do you favor your father or your mother?

Oh, my mother. Yeah?

My father left town the day before I was born.

Probably knew what was coming.

Maybe you better take that coat off.

Reggie.

I wish I had something dry to put on.

Maybe there's something in the grip.

Why, Reggie.

How did you happen to have these in your suitcase?

Oh, I always carry those things.

Hey, Dick.

Oh, no.

I was just playing with the wife.

I bet you two had a lot of fun together.

Here's your wine and your lobster.

That lobster's only got one big claw.

They lose one sometimes in a fight, you know.

Why did you bring me the winner?

Anything else, sir?

Yeah.

I want you to take the missus' clothes out and have them dried.

Okay.

Don't you dare come in!

Give me your clothes so I can send them down to have them dried.

I'll give you the clothes, but don't you dare come in!

She doesn't want me to come in.

I noticed that.

How about you? You better change, too.

Don't you dare come out here.

Still playing, huh?

Kiss. Oh, Reddy.

You know, you said you wouldn't really do that.

It's in the book.

The book?

Hello, kid.

Sweetheart. Baby.

Reddy, you shouldn't say such things.

something here about your knee.

My knee?

Well,

maybe it's my knee.

Oh, I know what it is. You stand up.

Oh, Reggie, you mustn't. It's all right. It's in the book.

Oh, Reggie, you mustn't. No, you have to because she's about to be here now any

minute.

Come here.

Come here.

No,

you can't do that.

You've got to come out of here. You've got to be here when she arrives.

Reggie!

Reggie!

You are Reggie, aren't you?

This is going to be easy.

Now, come here now. Don't be scared. I'm not going to kidnap you or give you the

needle. You're just as safe with me as you would be in jail.

Jeff Haywood said... Jeff Haywood? Yes.

Jeff Haywood? Mm -hmm.

He sent you here?

Yes.

Well, what about... What about what?

Well, nothing.

You know, when Jeff warned me about you, I didn't believe that it could be true.

But he was right. He was right.

Now, he's explained everything to me, and I'm going to coach you.

Coach me.

Yes. We're going to have a little rehearsal.

Rehearsal? A little practice.

Practice.

Do you know what we're here for?

To do something to deceive Angelica? Huh?

Huh? Oh, what you're supposed to do now is to make love to me.

Where do I begin?

Up in Minnie's room.

First you seize me.

Oh, one arm... around my neck.

Come see. Come stop.

Well, come and get this, are you, Anchor?

I am here for a quiet evening.

You know, you're dead and you won't lay down.

I'm not here to give you dancing lessons.

Oh,

try that now.

Your rough work is funny. I didn't mean to hurt you.

Clinch, will you clinch? Get a half, Nelson.

What's the matter with this thing? Hasn't it ever been used?

Now say something like this.

Darling, I love you madly. I cannot live without you.

You must never leave me.

Now you do that.

Darling, I love you madly.

I cannot live without you.

You must never leave me.

You have all the passion of an infuriated clam.

Get out there!

What do you think you're doing?

This is a love scene.

Oh, say it as if you really meant it.

Say, darling, I love you madly. I cannot live without you. You must never leave

me.

I'll get you a piece of meat.

Send up the hip of a horse.

Oh, come on. Now you know what to say. Say it. Come on, say it.

Oh, my darling.

I love you madly.

I cannot live without you.

You'll never, just never leave me.

He's moved in on me.

Say, don't go to sleep here. This is not old home week, you know.

Now you must kiss me.

Huh?

Not huh. Kiss me.

supposed to be the Friday of the second part in a regular orgy.

In a regular orgy.

In a kiss.

Let me show you a kiss.

And I'll be flirting with you.

You were meant for me. Kiss me.

Kiss me.

Oh, my darling.

I love you madly.

You must never leave me. I cannot live without you.

Not on me.

Mama, do you want to play?

It's all right.

It's all right. I know what to do now.

Oh, my darling, I love you madly. I cannot live without you. You must never

leave me.

I beg your pardon.

What on earth do you think you're doing?

I'm practicing.

Practicing? I'm doing pretty good, too.

But... No, no, Nita, that's the wrong girl.

Didn't you fish it with her? No, no, no, that was another girl. A friend of

mine. Oh, that other woman.

Oh, yeah, she told me what to do.

I love you madly. I cannot live without you. You must never leave me.

Hey, well, never mind that. Tell me, where is Polly?

Polly? Yeah, Polly.

Polly? Mrs.

John Smith.

Mrs. John Smith?

The woman I sent here for you. Oh, she went down the hall to another room to

change her clothes. I'll go get her.

And listen, get Nita out of here.

Her husband's found out all about it. He's out to get her and you.

You think he'll be mad?

Mad? He'll kill you.

And listen, work fast.

Angelica's on her way. She'll be here any moment.

Everything's been changed.

Reggie Irving, is Nita in that room?

You wretch!

Nita! Oh, Lily, you came just in time.

Well, that's something.

You don't know what a terrible person that Reggie is.

I'm afraid I've done him an injustice.

I can't believe it.

But look, come on now, quick, get dressed.

Your husband may be here any time.

But he can't go without my clothes.

They're drying them. Oh, phone for them quickly, Nita. Hurry.

I'll take care of Reggie. Oh, you better be careful.

He's a terrible, terrible man.

Reggie Irving, do you realize you had that little girl scared sick?

I thought she acted a little...

Why don't you pick on a grown -up woman, somebody who knows how to play the

game?

Oh, my darling, I love you madly. I cannot live without you. You must never

leave me.

Oh, he's a Mormon.

about you, Leela, all the time.

What have you done with Nita?

Nita? Yes, Nita.

Where is she?

Oh, Nita came with me, but she didn't know how to play the game.

Leela volunteered.

Why, you little shrimp.

If you'll only listen to me, I came here to save Nita from this monster.

And the only way you could save Nita was to take Nita's place on Reggie's lap.

Oh, don't be a fool, Angie.

had company?

Reggie. How could you, Reggie? You promised me cross your heart that you

going to cut out all these society dollars.

Why did you lie to me, darling? Why did you lie to me? Why?

Why? Why?

What is Reggie to you?

Nothing much.

We were to be married next week.

Answer me.

I can't keep track of everybody's wife.

She's not here.

She's not here, huh? No, no.

No?

Well, it's a good thing for you she's not here.

What will I do with Mrs. Smith's clothes, Mr. Smith?

explain what you're doing registered here as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

Try and explain that.

Yeah, try and explain that.

Oh, but he's a dreadful man.

He said it was only a supper party, and then he registered as Mr. and Mrs.

Smith, and he unhooked my dress.

Don't tell me any more.

at you. What do you know, huh?

I was just upstairs.

Come on.

Open up here. What do you know about this, huh?

Somebody threw that out the window.

Get over there now. Wait a minute here. I don't understand.

All right. Come on, officer. Get this bunch up there. We'll find out.

What body?

Anybody. There's nobody here but me. Don't kid me. There was a woman shot in

this room. What'd you do with her?

Oh, her?

I never saw her before in my life.

Kid me.

They got me. I tell you, they got me.

Somebody get them off me. I tell you, they got me. They got me.

Who are you?

I'm the body.

What's the matter with you?

You speak as if it was all my fault.

Come on now, hurry.

I'm tired of this whole thing. I came here for a quiet little supper and what

I get? A shot in the pajamas.

But... Don't talk so much. I told you how to treat a woman. Now go in there

do it. Go on in there and do it. I wouldn't marry that Reggie Irving if he

the last man on earth.

Now listen.

Oh, I love you madly.

You must never leave me. I cannot live without you.