All language subtitles for 01 - The Prodigal Returns

Bye, Mrs. Thompson.

Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for keeping me
close together.

Mr. Biggins!

Mr. Biggins!

Mr. Biggins!

I've got the bill, veterinary.

That's very good of you. But there's an
item here that I don't quite remember.

Uh -huh.

14th of July, 1951. Vitamin pills, that
says.

One shilling and sixpence, that says.

I've no recollection of that,
veterinary.

That was 18 months ago.

But I've no recollection. To tell you
the truth, Mr. Biggins, neither have I.

Well, how do I know that you've not
charged me for something I've never had?

I tell you what, you'll call round to
the surgery on market day, and I'm sure

the visitary will... Mr. Biggins?

No, Mr. Biggins.

If you would show me the lame calf you
wish me to examine, Mr. Biggins, I would

be very grateful.

Mr. Biggins!

They'll treat no beast of mine until
I've given me a recollection of them

vitamin pills.

If you've dragged me all the way out
here to argue about an item on the bill

one and six that's been outstanding for
18 months...

You've got to help me, darling. Yes?

It's forgery, actually. What? I need a
signature.

Where did you get this?

Oh, I have my sources.

It's a welcome home card for Tristan.

A pen?

I'm ready. To my dearest darling
Tristan. No, dearest darling Trith.

Longing to see you again.

And to talk about our plans for the
future.

Lots of love and kisses.

From your blue -eyed Susie.

Oh, James, you know she's happily
married.

Yes, but Tristan doesn't know, does he?

Remember that dance we all went to
before we went to Ireland?

He got so drunk and couldn't remember if
he proposed to her or not. He panicked,

I reckon. I know.

I heard Darlene was back, and I'm really
glad to see thee. And very good it is

to be back too, Bert.

I went to Drover's only last night, and
I was saying then to old place, it'd

like us not to be a bit lively with
young Mr. Farnham back.

Well, it certainly is my intention to
enter fully into the spirit of the

community again, Bert.

They'll not find it a mite dull, maybe.

Always was a bit of a lad, the nose.

Well, you know, Bert, dullness is a
state of mind.

I've no intention of letting it afflict
me.

I'll have some stories to tell, eh?

I certainly have, Bert. And there'll be
some good drinking in the drovers over

there telling I don't bronze you that.

Look, I must be going. The fatted calf
awaits.

Siegfried?

Oh.

I have found the most perfect
housekeeper who will cater for my little

every need. Really, Siegfried? Who might
that be?

He's a widow, no domestic ties, fine
Christian woman, reputation for good

cooking. Besides, she wins the GFF flour
arranging competition just about every

year. Do we know the name of this
paragon? Yes, we do.

Mrs. Alton.

I've spoken to her in general and she's
agreed, in principle.

You think she and Tristan will hit it
off together?

I see no reason why not. I find her very
obliging. I'm sure you did, Sigrid, but

wouldn't we let Tristan make his own
appointment?

Well, of course.

Of course.

I'm simply doing his donkey work for
him. He's the one who's got to live with

her, after all.

Yes.

What a pair of doubting Thomases.

I've only got my brother's best interest
at heart.

The prodigal returns. I want to make him
feel entirely welcome.

Potentially fine.

Trish! Helen!

Welcome home.

You look marvellous.

James, it's good to see you. It's good
to see you too, Trish.

Trish, come now.

See for yourself.

I can't... Auntie, why would I have
missed you?

Good Lord, really?

Well, come on, let's have a drink.

To Farnan, Harriet.

Harriet and Farnan, and to the new
master of Skeldale House, welcome.

Yes, welcome home, Trish. Thank you. To
you, Trish.

Well, then, now that we've attended to
the formalities, Trish, and is not this

the real reason for the homecoming?

To answer a call of the heart.

Who's this from?

Oh, we've no idea, Trish.

Had a lot of fun trying to get there,
didn't we?

So if you have an announcement to make,
please don't keep us waiting.

Are we to welcome a new mistress to
Skeldale, too? Oh, nothing could be

from the truth. No, no, I'm as free as
ever and determined to keep it that way.

Well, open up, we're all agog.

I'll open this in private without the
attendance of a gawking audience.

It was evidently delivered by hand, so
it must be from some local beauty.

Siegfried, nothing will persuade me down
the aisle.

I know.

Well, in that case, you'd better take
advantage of the opportunity that I've

uncovered for you. I've got your
housekeeper.

A widow woman, a positive charm, no
dependents who will attend to all your

legitimate needs and discourage all the
other ones.

Who?

She's the Mrs. Alton of Five Market
Cottages.

And you'd better take advantage of her
before somebody else does. She's

expecting to hear from you. That's
awfully kind of you, Siegfried, but I

rather like to advertise the position
myself and interview prospective

candidates.

Precisely what I said.

Look at it.

That is precisely why I made the
appointment.

Hello. Hello.

My name's Harris.

Hi. In here.

Hi.

This is the place, isn't it?

What are his other symptoms?

Oh,

look at that.

You're going to stay, aren't you?

She rode the finest horse you've ever
seen, Helen.

Standing 17 -2 with eyes like hers, wide
and green.

But... Oh, there, poor Trish. Drink up.
You're becoming

tediously maudlin.

If only you'd seen her, Siegfried. You
were never much of a whore anyway.

Well, that's not the point. No.

Exactly. The point is not to fester
pathetically in the past, but towards

future.

Here it is.

Bird in hand.

Open up, Tristan, and let's drink to
what's to come.

Oh, no, no, no, no. If you think that by
getting me drunk you can get me to

divulge the deepest secrets of my heart,
I thought you'd have done enough of

that already.

But I'm glad to hear you confirm that it
is a secret of significance.

Oh, all right, then.

Let me guess.

It's Rachel Bosworth.

No, no, no, no. She's bespoke, as I
recall.

Is it young Debbie Mount, returned from
the Australian outback?

Claim your heart. Siegfried, whoever
this is from, it cannot possibly be. I

know, I know. Sophie Standish, she's the
only one who can possibly keep you in

the style to which you aspire.

Siegfried, I'm not about to propose
marriage, not to Sophie Standish, not to

anyone else. But the point is, some
eligible damsel may be on the point of

proposing marriage to you.

Come on, man.

Read it.

I think it's mange.

This will confirm it.

I'm pretty sure, Mrs. Burleson, that
it's glycoptic mange.

Is that bad?

Not as bad as the demodectics. That's
nearly almost incurable.

He's infected.

Nasty little mites.

Horrid, bitter little creatures. They
borrow into the skin.

They cause him... And they cause intense
irritation.

Making his life a misery.

Yeah, he's scratching all the time.

He needs bathing regularly with this
mainswash.

And make sure you read the instructions
very carefully.

And you can bath him immediately, making
sure you get it into every nook and

cranny. Right.

Right.

I can't say much for the quality of your
conversation, my dear brother. I

expected a touch of the blarmy to have
rubbed off.

Ah, still here?

Oh, yes.

It's extraordinary, you know. When I
took that call from Mr Burr, I was

convinced it was a matter of life and
death.

Sarcoptic mange.

And they couldn't give a damn about that
poor dog.

Sat glued to the wretched television,
hardly got a word out of any of them.

Much the same story here, James, I'm
afraid. You certainly haven't missed

anything. Still, I suppose, under the
conditions, the lances have to be made.

think the card has touched a nerve,
James.

Oh, Helen.

Oh, come on, Tris.

Drink up.

No, no, I'm never touching another drop.

Really?

The remedy is confession, my dear boy. I
should have thought you'd learnt that

in Ireland.

Reveal all to those you can trust and
sleep easy. No, no, there's no need for

that.

Well, if anyone can get it out of him,
James, you can.

Trace?

Have you, uh... You got any news for us?

Who's the lucky girl, then? Oh, James,
please, spare me.

I had no idea that card was so
significant.

Morning, Trish.

Well, this was an all -too -unaccustomed
pleasure.

Yes, not often I've seen you so bright
and early, either. Well, you know me,

Helen. New leaves and all that, as far
as I mean to go on. Really, I heard tell

of Mary going to one of the drovers last
night. How are you feeling?

In the pink, of course.

Suffering from a skin full of pink gins,
you mean. What an appalling suggestion.

Siegfried and James have been up and
about since Spice. They have?

Yes, but I thought I'd better make a bit
of an early start myself just to check

that everything is as it was.

And is it?

Well, you know, it's rather comforting
to find that Siegfried's relentless

gospel of progress and modernisation has
been more honoured in the breach than

the observance. You'll find the clouds
haven't modernised themselves much

either. Are you ready for them?

Oh, absolutely. The word's gone round,
you know. They've come from far and

I'll make a change.

Siegfried always used to say they stayed
away in droves when they knew it was

mass surgery.

Bert Chapman's first, and Susie, of
course.

Susie?

He's Labrador.

Don't you remember?

Oh, yes, of course.

Come on, see.

I think he's got wind of what's in store
for him, Tom.

Aye, well, that's why I want him done.

In the last few months, he's got worse
and worse.

The three of us can't hardly handle him.

Well, that's classical behaviour for a
rig, isn't it?

One of his testicles lodged in the
abdomen, or possibly the Ingram Canal,

him very fractious.

I don't think he's going to let himself
be caught while I'm around. He's got me

marked down as the one who's going to
pick his pockets for him.

He's been wired afoot.

I never saw as we couldn't catch him.

I really ought to be looking to my
options. Oh, come on, Mr. Barnard.

There's all this time for a bit of a
tale. Come on, sit yourself down.

Well, it was... Come on.

It was in a village called...

Claude Macri, just outside of Wicklow.

Wonderful hunting country.

And Major Fitzgerald was retired, but
very peppery. And he loved to hunt

the wildest monsters you could wish to
find.

Your namesake, Mr.

Maloney. The farrier? The farrier. He
was terrified of the Major's horses, but

even more so of the Major himself.

Morning. I was just passing. I thought
I'd have a look at your dog.

What, again?

Well, I think you don't, Larry.

Do you mind?

Then he ducks under the lintel and
right, right into the parlour where he

over the table to discover poor Pat
Maloney cowering for safety. Well, he

him out of his shop and drives him down
to his shop.

Well, he's shaking, trembling, trembling
like a leech. He hammers a shoe on the

wild beast and the major rides off into
the fray.

You haven't actually bathed him yet,
then?

Ah, well, we've been a bit busy. We'll
get him done tonight.

What's his name?

Jet.

Get me a bucket of warm water, will you,
Mrs Burt?

I'll give him his first treatment now.

It'll only take a couple of minutes.

The Major was carted off to hospital,
but Genghis was roaming wild about the

countryside, threatening to do unto
others what he'd been encouraged by the

Major to do to poor Pat Mullins.

Well,

I was brought in to assist in catching
the wild beast by slipping him a Mickey

Finn. A Mickey Finn!

I liked Genghis. He was a noble horse,
in my opinion, and all he needed was

but considerate handling. Do you know,
within the hour, I had that stallion

eating out of my hand?

To the amazement of the population of
Clonmacri, so much so that the major,

by this time was holed up in bed for
several weeks, called upon me to keep

horse in trim for him while his back
mended.

Oh, just in the forenoon. I do apologise
for the lateness of surgery this

morning, but we shall be under way
directly. I want you to prepare me a

If you think you've come back here to a
permanent social club, let me disabuse

you of that idea immediately.

See, Fred, I was just cultivating the
veterinary equivalent of the bedside

manner, which you never tire of saying
is of such importance in country

practice. Let me remind you that our
bedside is as often as not a freezing,

-smelling cow -buyer.

James and I have been out there since
dawn, slaving frostbitten fingers to the

bone, while you slither out of your bed
mid -morning and amble down to the

surgery for a quiet chat with a few old
friends.

Siegfried, I was merely re -establishing
old ties.

What is my information? You and half the
village spent most of the night doing

precisely that. Oh, for drovers, good
God, man, you've not been back here 48

hours. But already the backwash of your
scandalous behaviour is battering away

at the good name of this practice. The
sooner you are safely married, the

you stand some chance of becoming a
responsible member of this practice. You

will take evening surgery instead.

I attempt to satisfy the needs of these
poor patient people before the morning

is entirely out.

But perhaps he has to be in pole
position to take it easy first.

Siegfried, I think... I suggest that you
install Mrs. Alton here immediately and

then perhaps early to bed and early to
rise may once again become the motto of

this household.

But Siegfried... Go!

Oh,

Mr. Chapman and Susie. That's right.

It can't be a matter of something.

Right, go on, Mr. Farman.

You'll be having to look to your
reputation as the orth doctor now that

Mr. Tristan's back.

By all accounts, he showed them a figure
two in Ireland.

Come from miles around, they did.

Hunters, jumpers, chasers, all sorts of
horses worth hundreds and hundreds of

pounds.

Must have made him quite a rich man by
the look of that car he's driving.

There doesn't really seem to be much
wrong with your little bitch, Mr

Would you tell me what the symptoms are?

Oh, there's now to miss with Susie, Mr
Farman.

You see, I just brought her here to show
Mr Tristan how well she's come through

after that last bit of trouble she had
before he went away.

What was that?

Oh, money.

A little bit of it, really.

That's right.

You've got a busy job.

Going round batting them dogs all the
time.

What?

Oh, yes.

It's quite a job.

He's a grand dog.

Certainly is.

You know, them folks don't bother with
him at all, you know.

Oh? He's in hell of a state, isn't he?

Can you cure him?

Yes, I think so.

It'll take time.

Regular washing with this stuff.

Regular, eh?

I'm going to ask Mrs. Burst to do it as
often as she can until it's cleared up.

You'll be lucky.

Yes.

Yes, I'm going to see that.

Oh, uh, good morning.

May I speak to Mythic Alton?

Well, that's me.

Oh. I see.

Jolly good.

I'm Mr. Farnan. Mr. Tristan Farnan. I
understand you might be interested in

domestic employment.

Well, actually, I... And in the position
of housekeeper at Scandal House in

particular.

Looking after me.

Well, I suppose I... Splendid!

Well, shall I take you across there now
for a quick tour?

But just let me get my coat, okay?

Well,

that's about it then, Sylvia.

A bit of a barn and a place for just the
two of us. We shall probably rattle

around like two peas on a drum.

Do sit down. Thank you.

But I dare say we shall find ways to
keep each other company.

I think we'll be as snug as two bugs in
a rug.

Oh, absolutely.

Now, how about a drink, then, to seal
the deal?

He's a bit naughty at this time of day,
isn't he?

Well, you'll find me a pretty free and
easy sort of chap, you know, so they're

not much of a stickler for rule,
discipline, all that sort of rot.

My feeling is, if you feel like a drink,
have one. How about a last gin? I'll

not say no to that. Atta girl, neither
will I.

It, um, must have been a great shock for
you, losing your husband.

feel like that.

Yes, it was.

You have my deepest empathy.

Thank you.

It all seems so long ago.

You, um, must have led a very lonely
life.

I'll say.

To the good ship Skeldale and all who
sail in her.

Us?

Yes.

The lady herself.

Yes, indeed.

Well, it's just another second, Grace
Lady.

Oh, no, no, see, but it's I who ought to
thank you.

What for?

Oh, I see.

For putting up with you all these years.
Well, I now hand over the burden to you

with the utmost pleasure.

Sylvia. Sylvia.

Welcome aboard.

When's the date?

Date?

Oh, I thought as soon as possible, yes?
Oh, yes.

It's marvellous.

I say, I don't suppose you'd like to go
out to dinner tonight?

I'd love to.

Just to celebrate.

After surgery, if that's all right with
you, Siegfried.

Yeah, the spanking idea.

Tell you what.

Let me... ...settle to you.

Seat treats obviously changed for the
better in my absence, Helen. He was

setting me up for a nice surprise.

Oh? Yes, a bit clever with the old
psychology sometimes, his dear old bro.

I must say, you have perked up.

Well, you know me, Helen. Take things as
they come.

Patrice, would you like to come to
supper tonight at Rowan Garth? The kids

dying to see you.

That's awfully kind of you, Helen. I'd
love to, but tonight, tonight I have a

prior engagement.

Good afternoon, everybody.

Susie? What on earth's the matter?

Nothing, nothing. I'm fine, fine.

As if you'd seen a ghost.

Do you want me to tell them you're
unwell?

No, no.

Well, I think we ought to get on then,
Tris.

Yes.

Back from the abyss.

Equilibrium restored. Showing the first
client, if you please, Helen.

Bert Chapman, if I'm not mistaken.

Are you sure you're all right?

Show him in.

Good evening, everyone.

Hello, Susie. How nice to see you.
Hello, Helen.

I see Trish's back.

Yes, he's taking surgery this evening.

Mr Chapman, Mr Farrell will see you now.

Come on, Susie.

Sweet little chicken.

Got him for a present.

Thought I'd get him to take you there.

Well, that won't take long.

Would anyone mind if Susie went in next?

No, Helen. I'm quite happy waiting to
last.

You must remember my Susie, darling.

Well, that did wonders for her to fall
to the left.

It's very kind of you to say so, Bert.
Very kind indeed. And it is lovely to

Susie again after all this time. She
really does look in fine shape.

I don't know what's up with you,
Farlands. Are we going to tear these

Goodbye, Mr Chapman.

Tristan, Susie Parker's got a new kid,
but she only needs an injection, so I

thought she could come in next.

I don't like having to say this to you,
Helen, but I do think it's most unwise

to interfere with the natural process of
the queue system. First come, first

serve has always been axiomatic here.

Actually, I think she wants to see you,
really.

I was quite happy to let her come in
first. Yes, well, I'm sorry, Helen, but

not. I can't allow it. It would set a
dangerous precedent.

Oh, come on, Tris. So hard of heart for
an old flame?

You used to be so fond of her. And I
know she's very fond of you.

Do you remember that vivid dance we all
went to together? We often talk about

that evening, you know, Susie and I.

I think you quite took her lightly.
Helen.

Oh, come on, Tris. I'm sure she only
wants to welcome you home.

Helen, my throat's absolutely parched. I
wouldn't half be grateful for a cup of

tea. Yes, of course.

Well, I tell you what, I'll make one for
Susie too. I mean, you're not going to

be long, are you, with the kitchen? She
and I can sit in the kitchen and have a

nice chat while you finish surgery.

Darby 385.

Mr Farhan asked me to call Mrs Harriet
and Mr Tristan Farhan.

I called into surgery and he had to come
with me right away.

He particularly asked me to apologise to
any folks till we did surgery, but I'll

be very grateful if the lad can see me
best.

And, um, Mr Farhan's arrived at your
farm already, has he, Mr Biggins?

Oh, I... Hi, Mrs. Harriet.

Mr. Farmer's with me now.

Gosh,

I told Mrs. Orton I'd help her bring
some things over.

Ah, Helen.

Now, just... I found Tristan in a
telephone box pretending to be Biggins.

yes. Tristan's trying to get out of
taking surgery.

Would you mind telling me what's going
on?

The card. You remember the card?

Yes, indeed, I do. Well, I wrote it.
Pretending to be Susie Parker.

Susie Parker?

Yes, well, it was James's idea. It was a
practical joke, you see, to remind

Triss of that time at the village dance
when he got so drunk he couldn't

remember if he proposed to her or not.

So you mean the poor boy is living in
mortal dread that young Susie's going to

sue him for breach of promise at any
moment?

That's wonderful, Helen, wonderful.

By then, who's that other girl?

What? Well, the girl he had with him
this morning, the one I thought the card

was from, his blushing bride, Helen. His
what?

Well, I wonder if you're so reluctant to
confide in us. Well, I've no idea who

the other one is, but Susie Park is out
there now, Siegfried.

Yes, Chris tried to make her wait until
last. He's terrified of seeing her face

to face. He's panic -stricken.

Oh, this is wonderful. I think we might
have gone too far. Nonsense!

It's perfect.

We'll have her in straight away.

Susie, my dear, you've had an
inexcusably long wait. Do please forgive

don't you come in now, please?

Thank you. Goodbye.

It shan't be long.

You're in a hurry.

Yes, I'm sorry I'm a bit early, but...
Steady on there.

Are you ready for the road?

Actually, it would suit me very well to
go before my sitter arrives.

But I understood you had no dependents.

Just a relative who thinks she should
keep an eye on me ever since my husband

passed on. Let's go before she arrives,
eh?

Your wish is my command.

You know, you're going to be just the
kind of boss I love to work for.

Lead on, Sir Galahad.

I began to feel quite sorry for poor
Susie. I'm sure she was oblivious to

was going on, but she must have wondered
why Trish was jumping up and down like

a cat on a horse's ashes.

The poor boy's completely snapped.

He's a hopeless prey to his guilty
conscience.

I do congratulate you both.

Well, where is he now?

He's not likely to think he's a bit too
far, is he?

Well, he said that he was going to
collect Mrs. Alton's things, but I

know that he's taking his fiancée out to
dinner.

His what?

Thank you, Tristan. It's been a lovely
evening.

It's not going to end here, I trust.

Tomorrow we'll be on our own in Skeldale
House, but tonight we'll be asking for

trouble. You've been asking for trouble
all evening. I don't see any reason to

stop. There's trouble and trouble,
Tristan.

And it's the kind of trouble we wish to
avoid.

Believe me.

Thank

you,

thank you for Mrs. Olsen. What a
splendid creature she is.

Well, indeed, she certainly has a
reputation at the WI for good cookery.

Well, all the better to feed me with.

Ah, she's a woman of parts indeed.

Tragic, of course, that she should have
lost her husband, yet how

philosophically she has borne that loss.

She'll be the perfect companion for me
here at Skeldale.

Well, my dear Tristan, I must say I'm
absolutely delighted you've come round

quickly to my way of thinking. To be
quite honest, I thought it would take

good deal longer to appreciate her many
qualities.

But you've met her secretly.

She and I have had a little... Yes, I
think that's the word, an intimate chat,

and we see eye to eye on most things.

Well, with her special and particular
talent for flower arranging, the church

will look absolutely splendid.

Well...

Yes, well, anything that takes the fancy
of the delightful Mrs. Alton will most

assuredly take mine.

That must be her now.

Ah,

good morning, good morning. Good
morning, Mr.

Farnham. Mrs.

Alton, welcome to Skelwell House.

Mrs. Alton? And who might you be, young
man?

Oh, I'm the other Mr.

Farnham, though I don't believe I've had
the pleasure of your acquaintance.

Well, I'm the other Mrs. Alton.

He'll be at the mother -in -law.

She's gone and led you up the garden
path.

I've come to take up my position, which
was offered to me yesterday as

housekeeper, to Mr Tristan Farnham.
Which Mr Siegfried Farnham offered to me

last week.

Lord, what I suggest is... is...

Since there appear to be
misunderstandings on both sides, I

our forces, Alton's to one side...

I'm defiant to the earth.

Would you mind just waiting here,
ladies?

Is there no

depth to which you will not sink?

You allowed me to believe that that girl
was your fiancée. I was. Bold as brass.

You sat there? She said you instructed
me to go and see Mrs. Alton. It just

happened that Sylvia was the Mrs. Alton
I saw. No, no, I never thought... You

were doing me a favour. The date, the
flower arrangement. Good God, man, you

even conned me out at the price of a
dinner to celebrate your engagement.

Engagement? You keep your watch down.

Oh,

Siegfried, this is your maddest piece of
wish fulfilment yet. I thought you just

found me a good housekeeper.

I can't seriously suppose I would ever
have offered that gal a job. looking

after you?

Well, you had no trouble thinking of her
as my fiancée. You did! I was

pleasantly surprised.

Oh, I realise now, of course, it was
your intention all along to find me a

jailer, not a housekeeper. But she's the
one who's got the job, and I'm only so

sorry that the poor woman has found
herself mixed up in your sordid

machinations.

Oh, I suppose it's better to be facing a
breach of contract than a breach of

promise.

Come on.

Well, then, Mrs. Alton and Mrs.

Alton.

My brother and I have discussed this
matter very thoroughly, and it is my

opinion that since the primary
misunderstanding between Alton and

derives in very great measure from
secondary misunderstandings between

Alton on the one side and Farnham and
Farnham on the other, that it is the

primary contract.

Notwithstanding its deficiency in legal
plenipotential that should be allowed to

stand and any subsequent agreements or
understandings between parties of the

same name, howsoever related, should
therefore fail.

Whatever you think, Beth, Mr. Barnum.
No, no, no, no, no. It's not my opinion,

Mrs. Alton, that you process of natural
justice.

I take it that means I've got the job,
does it?

Let me be the first to congratulate you.
Thank you, Mr. Barnum.

Now then, Mrs. Alton, senior, allow me
to show you your new domain.

Siegfried.

Sylvia. Are you going to let him walk
all over you like that?

Sylvia. I thought you were the master of
this house. Well, the point is, my...

Don't you talk to me, Mr. Farnham,
junior, until you're prepared to stand

your own two...

Don't waste my time, Mr. Farnham.

I heard that young Mr.

Farnham had come back, and I want him to
come out.

Now, Mr. Biggins, if you've got it into
your head that young Mr. Farnham is a

veteran resurgent of any quality
whatsoever, let me disabuse you of that

immediately.

He's nothing more than a slothful,
drunken, incompetent lecher, Mr.

Biggins, who will soon be seeking
employment elsewhere.

It's just I'm pretending to be Biggins
again.

It can't be.

I've just left him in the drovers.

Could you hold the line one moment,
please?

He is incapable of holding a glass, let
alone a telephone.

Good God.

Then it's Biggins.

In that case, James, it's for you.

Hello, Mr Biggins.

After you'd gone, suddenly...

Everything come back to me.

Recollection.

Recollection? What was it, George, in
memory, exactly?

I recollected counting out all them
vitamin pills, same as all us do.

Yes? Well, you know that generally
there's one or two on emitting, none of

But on that particular occasion, you had
the full complement of 100.

Aye, that's right.

You haven't got your checkbook with you,
have you, Mr Biggins?

I might have.

Have you got a wheelbarrow?

I might have.

And a jack?

In exchange for a signed cheque, Mr
Miggins.

Thank you.

Ah, thank you, Mr Riggins.

Right.

I'll wait while you fix the wheel.

Then we're going to look at your car,
eh?

Well, there's no need for that.

She'll have come right on her own, eh?

And if there's no visit, there'll be no
bill, eh?

Them next doors got him.

Thank you.

Hey, you see, Vintnery, we're doing you
a job.

This is the missus.

Afternoon, Vintnery.

Hello. You doing a grand job?

Well, them bursars, they never bathed in
once.

So we asked if we could have a go.

Yeah, well, that's fine.

Now then, just a little bit more on
here, jet lad.

Come on, let's have this leg now, shall
we?

You haven't missed an inch, have you?

Well, we heard what you said at the
start.

Them bursars there, do you know, they
wanted to have him put down.

Oh?

But we said we'd get him better.

Well, you can see he appreciates what
you're doing for him.

Right, I've bought some more packs of
that wash.

There we are.

Well, he's in good hands.

I can see that. Thanks.

Bye. Bye.

No,

the old beggars.

They're all as man in other folks'
business.

Nosy. Yes, well, maybe, but they're very
caring, you know.

They've done wonders for Jet.

He still looks the sight, though.

It's going to take a long time.

Well, he can't afford to keep having you
two him all the time, Vintnery.

It's nursing care he's going to need
more than anything else.

If you don't mind my saying, no one in
your family seems to have much time for

him. Well, kids are always busy now.

I think we'd be better off having him
put down.

I don't think that's necessary, do you?

Especially when there are people who
want to care for him.

Why don't you let the Howells have him?

Why should we?

Well, it's going to be a very expensive
business, you know.

Apart from my business, all the mage
wants to pay for.

And that dog's going to need a good
diet.

Fresh meat every day.

Help build him up so he doesn't recur.

The Howells have said that they're
willing to foot the bill.

Oh, fool.

With all that money you've paid, you can
get yourself another dog.

For when you left.

Busy.

James, you sound very pleased with
yourself.

Oh, do I? Well, yes, as a matter of
fact, I am, secretly.

I have here, somewhere, a cheque from Mr
Biggins.

Signed, in settlement of 18 months'
work.

Thick quarters.

Good God!

Well,

it took an hour of my time, but...

We have Mr Biggins checked. My dear man,
domination at last. I congratulate you,

James. And that dog that I was treating
for mange?

Yes. Its owners have agreed to let the
neighbours have it. Oh, James, of

for celebration indeed.

Keep reading.

I really do need to talk to you.

Well, of course, my dear boy.

But you know...

The shop is hardly the place for
personal confidence.

Tell you what, why don't you go ahead
with James to the Drovers and I'll

just as soon as I've shut up here.

Yes?

Yes, all right.

All right.

James, sit here.

This cheque of Biggins' is postdated to
June of next year at six quarters hence,

James.

I'll say hello to her at least. Oh, not
now, James, please.

Come on, she's a very nice girl.

Susie!

I've brought her to see you.

Hello, Trey.

I've been trying to see you since you
got back.

How are you?

Well, things have been rather traumatic,
actually.

I'm starting to get used to it.

I'd like to have a chat with you.

Look, I'll catch up with you later,
Susie.

I am, in fact, in rather desperate need
of medication.

It's just I've got so much to tell you.

Why is he like that, Mr. Herriot? I...
Never used to be nervous, did he? Not a

care in the world.

Jet. Pardon?

That dog's pacing the mind.

Tell you what I'll do. I'll have a word
with the owners and then we'll smoke

twist out the drovers, eh?

Right, yeah.

Hello.

First walk with his new owners.

And I reckon we've you to thank for
that, Mr. Herriot.

It's grand, having him.

It was awful being without a dog.

Do you know, they never took him out at
all. Just let him wander around by his

tent. I don't know why some folk have
dogs at all.

Come, grow old, along with me.

The best is yet to be.

That's it, Mr. Elliot.

That poem's got it just right.

Hmm.

Well, I'll see you soon, eh? Bye.

Susie?

I got a bit sloshed.

Well, they must be paralytic, to be
precise. And then I went away to

Now, I've come back. I'm being asked to
marry the girl. Now, is that fair?

Life's never fair, though, mate, is it?

Not another.

Tell her, mate.

You're due in about three. Tomorrow,
one.

Oh, hey.

At the bar.

With my Joe.

Oh. Is that your husband?

Yeah.

Gosh.

Why don't you sit down here, and I'll
bring them over to you.

I did have a quick word with this
person.

Yeah, you can't be too careful, mate. I
just don't see why, after two years,

nearly, I should have to face up to
marriage.

Just a word.

Oh, hello, James. I'm just having a
quick drink with my friends here. A

of years, eh?

It's about that or being away from my
little lady.

Really? You live here in Darabey, do
you?

She come from here. I'm from
Leytonstone, East London.

We met up here at a pool seat down.

Really? I used to go to a lot of those.

I might know. What's the matter? Trish,
will you listen to me, please?

James, please, just hang on.

Gentlemen, your services are required in
the execution of professional duties.

Spend it.

Like I said before, it's only safe ways
to go, beggar.

I can't imagine that my brother would
recommend for a moment a chemical

collusion to a simple question of
authority.

All right.

How much am I bet?

Can I undertake it alone?

I'll bet you a fiver I can do it. Tenny,
you can't.

Now, wait a minute.

Fifteen. Twenty.

Twenty -five.

Hey, Mr.

Farnham, it's more than Farnham was
worth.

Oh, he's worth more than that to me,
Tom.

Ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty -five.

Three large whiskies, please, Dad. And
paid, let me tell you, under protest.

normal rules of gambling preclude divine
intervention.

Tris, I've tracked you down at last.

Gosh, Susie, what a surprise.

I wanted to tell you something.

Yes, I know, but... I missed you after
you went away.

You could have written.

Not long after, I went to one of the
dancers up at the camp, and I met Joe.

Well, he's been in the army for a while.
He's just got back.

Well, I know you've already met, but I
want you to be friends.

But... Tristan Barnum, Joe Manson, my
husband.

Well... Congratulations.

Drinks all round, Tris.

Thanks, Ted.